r/AdultADHDSupportGroup

Just gonna drop em

1. Keep your mental queue very low. The browser in your mind should not have more than 1-2 tabs going even though there is an urge to open 5 more.
2. If you are having issues with starting tasks or feeling burnt out etc. See if you can remove small old tasks very quickly from ur internal queue. Clear it without much care , use ai, ask a friend whatever u have to do. Because if its something u have been meaning to do even tho it feels like u must do it right. Do it in whatever small complete way you can asap. 99% of things you can redo or recreate anyway. It being done imperfectly and gone out of ur brain is better than it sitting there for 2 more months. Emotionally it wont feel like that but push through that.
3. It takes a lot of mental energy/executive function etc to stop things you dont want to do it. Sometimes its better to instead do it super fast instead. For example lets say you have work to do but you started watching a youtube video and u are aware you have work to do. Don't close the video or try to force urself to do work it can drain a lot mentally and stop u from actually starting the task or finishing the task. Instead skip to the important parts of the video, 2x watch it, and then know u did it u can move on now. Even better feel accomplished u sped through it and now moving unto something productive with that momentum. If during the speed run it looked like there were some in between things u may wanna come back to, book mark it.
4. Stretching apparently is a huge adhd hack almost no one talks about especially if you feel dysregulated or low energy. Stretch carefully though, dont pinch any nerves if ur not used to stretching. Sit in a quiet cool place where you can just stretch for a few minutes slowly. It can be day changing
5. Your brain is largely processing visual information most of the time. 30-50% of it. How your eyes feel, what u have looked at , the mental imagery in ur head. Anything visual is a big idea of whats happening with u mentally. 'Watch your eyes'. Meaning be aware of em. Rest them , use ur glasses or oppositely try taking ur glasses off a while etc. Lower light and color from screens , use grayscale, change themes etc. Pay attention to ur attention not in the usual dopamine way but realize your eyes are half your adhd.

For context, my spouse (29F) and myself (29M) have been together over 3 years and married for about half a year. They are the reason I went to get diagnosed with ADHD about a year ago and helped me to get medicated and getting help when no one else in my life did. Right now they are experiencing extreme burnout from the stress of my condition and has told me that they hate me and I only make things worse and never better. I’ve been having anger issues lately, especially when the adderall crashes around 7 PM. I’ve been lashing out at my spouse and taking my frustrations out on them by yelling and blame shifting. I’ve been trying to do better and show them that I want to change, but they won’t believe me. I forgot to reschedule another therapy appointment so I’ve been behind on that. I recently got to schedule it again.

After I got overly upset last night and we both went to sleep upset, I’ve been trying everything possible to help them and they keep refusing any help telling me I only make things worse and that they hate me.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? I fear I will lose my partner who I deeply care about. I’m lost on what to do. I understand they are overwhelmed and I can’t get them to believe me when I say I understand. They say I will just lash out again tomorrow so what’s the point. I don’t want to get overly upset and quick to anger. I want to change. How do I show them that? I’ve tried listing out all of the issues they have and trying to come up with a list of solution oriented options to present to them and talk about, but I got told that I wasted time and that I didn’t actually do anything.

Maybe I'm 6 years late on this, but I've lost all desire to take care of myself and get work done. I just can't bring myself to care without being out in the world and comparing myself to other people. That hasn't felt healthy but also it's the only way that I can get myself to be anything other than a blob.

Before 2020 (also had my 1st child December 2019), I would work in an office 4 days/week and healthy habits tied to that. I'd leave early to go to the gym, interacted with other humans, and felt successful, smart, and on top of my shit. WFH was good for years until I burnt myself out and now I'm just a blob who doesn't care. It's been like 2 years since full burnout and I don't think I'm still burnt out but still trying to find ways to motivate myself. No, I don't really have any friends other than my wife. But whenever I go to events at kids schools, it's embarrassing. And honestly, I crave more of that. But it also hurts to do those things as it just shows me how crappy I've become. Yes, I'd love to make some friends but feel beyond lost and out of time at the moment to actually make that happen.

I know I can do all sorts of things like going to a coffee shop regularly to work, going to the gym every morning, etc. But without systems in place, it's nearly impossible for me to do those things. I can see it having a negative impact on my life but the connection isn't clicking for me to actually make things better without that external pressure. It's like I need to be forced to go do things or at least enough things. Current job is WFH, which is awesome as my location makes finding a hybrid job within a reasonable commute tricky (major sprawling city with awful traffic). WFH is great with kids and dog. I just desperately want to make it work again.

Part of me wants to talk to doc about medication dosage, but I burnt myself out by apparently being on too high a dose of stimulants that I could only focus on work and stopped caring about being a human and consequently broke parts of my life that lead to me having no friends and eventually turning into a gross blob.

Has anyone been here? Does anyone do anything that actually works in a similar situation?

I've been tracking ADHD medication data for a small project and one thing keeps coming up: people feel like they go into appointments and can't remember what the last 4 weeks actually felt like. They end up guessing.

Like... you sit down with your psychiatrist and they ask "so how have things been going on the medication?" and your brain just goes blank. You try to think back but all you can pull up is maybe one bad day last week and one good moment from two weeks ago. So you piece together some vague answer like "I think it's been okay? Maybe a bit up and down?" — and that becomes the basis for whether your dose gets adjusted or not.

It honestly feels like such a broken loop. The whole point of these appointments is to calibrate something really personal and specific to you, but the data you're bringing in is basically vibes.

I've tried keeping notes in my phone but I forget. I've tried journaling but it feels like too much friction when I'm already struggling with the thing the meds are supposed to help with. I've seen some apps but they either feel too clinical or ask for way too much.

Has anyone actually found something that works — even just a simple habit or a low-effort system? Would love to know what's stuck for people.

Recently, I finished reading the book "Delivered from Distraction" by Dr. Edward Hallowell. After having read it and taking notes, I decided to see my PCP and see if he can make some referrals for me to get some tests done related to my ADHD - Spect Scan, qEEG, etc etc. I wrote up a whole list of questions for my doctor with the intention of emailing them to him but, in an effort to be as thorough as possible, decided to first email a very ADHD-knowledgeable organization some questions so that there answers can help me to pose more questions to my doctor, if that makes sense.

Well, there were a decent bit of emails listed at the very end of the Delivered book but many of them were not up to date and had changed. I decided to email one that was listed on there - West Virginia Parent Training Information Inc. - at wvpti@aol.com, but I have not heard anything at all since I emailed it in late April. I then tried 7 days ago to just email a place that seemed, from online searches, to be likely to respond in a timely manner - CHADD. The email I used was customer_service@chadd.org which is apparently the email you are supposed to send ADHD related questions too. Again, it's been 7 days, and nothing. Not even a confirmation that it has been received and is being looked at.

Does anyone know how long it takes these organizations, particularly the latter one if I utilize this customer service email, to get back to me?

And on top of that, is anyone aware of any other places to email that are pretty quick to respond about ADHD related questions?

Thank you.

Hello, I am 26f and have been seeing a therapist for a few months. I have been diagnosed with anxiety and depression since I was a kid but my therapist thinks this may just be symptoms of inattentive adhd. I have not gotten a formal assessment yet, but she has had me filling out a questionnaire.
I have a question about one of the questions regarding fidgeting. How does it present in you? Or what does it look like in your experience? I am not constantly moving or anything like that. But since I was very young I have been picking my scalp or rubbing/picking my skin. I do it a lot when I am working on a project or when I have to concentrate. (But also pretty my anytime I am just laying around, driving, in bed).
I’m mostly just looking to hear from people who are in or have been in a similar situation as me and what their overall experience was like.

Hey everyone,

I’m moving into a sober living house this week and I’m curious if anyone has any advice or recommendations for ADHD medications that have been effective for them. I’m specifically looking for alternatives to amphetamines like Adderall and Vyvanse.

Thanks a lot!

:)

Living with ADHD and depression at 40 isn’t what you think. It’s not being hyper or sad. It’s waking up every day with 40 TV channels blaring in my head while wearing a 200-pound wet lead coat. Simple things—emails, showers, picking up my keys—feel like climbing a cliff. I’m not lazy, because laziness feels good. I never feel good. I’m just exhausted from a war you can’t see. I’m telling you this not for pity, but so you might understand why I disappear, why I’m late, or why I can’t ‘just try harder.’ I am trying harder than you can possibly imagine, just to be this functional

I created a minimalist wear os watch face with calming colors and focus on the calendar event to help with focus.

Google requires eleven people to test it before I'm able to publish it publicly.

If you are interested in helping out please send me your email address.

if you are an adult with adhd please offer me some suggestions on how to support my child. he struggles with constant negative dialogue in his head. what suggestio can i male to break this cycle. what is the best way to offer emotional support. thanks in advance. we’re really struggling

I’ll start:

1. Waking up sucks. Buy 2 bright lamps and 2 timers. Set them up to turn on automatically 5-15 min before you want your alarm to go off. The lights will help your body realize it’s daytime.
2. Change your thermostat so the temp goes down about an hr before bedtime and gets warmer about 30 min before you wake up. The cooler temp signals your body to sleep and the warmer temp will naturally help your body wake up.
3. Learn to plan around “transitions”. It’s easier to start things if you do them when something is ending. Example: Do your grocery shopping every Fri after work. You’re already in the car, so just stop at the store on your way home.
4. If you need to remember to bring something with you the next day, place it right in front of the exit door so you HAVE to touch it before you leave the house. If it’s something in the fridge, put a sticky note on the exit door’s handle.
5. Trying to build my routine around Anchor + Novelty activities now... anchors are the things i repeat every single day, they build like a solid base. novelty stuff is what gives me that dopamine hit and it rotates so it stays fresh. if i miss the novelty its fine, but i really try not to miss the anchors. using Soothfy App for this and so far its actually helping me stick to it way more than any routine ive tried before. Also body doubling has been shockingly effective. I use Focus apps for important tasks after a friend recommended it and suddenly I can work for 50 mins straight without checking my phone 600 times.
6. Have a “misc” basket in each room. If you’re truly unable to put something away, put it in the basket. Have a designated period of time, once a week, when your sole priority is to put everything away, all at once.

I’ll add more when I think of them...

I told my doctor I wanted something I could take for my ADHD only on work days, to help with focus. She prescribed D-AMPHETAMINE ER 10MG SALT COMBO which is apparently Adderall and is supposed to be taken every day, not just as needed? Apparently you can have a rough first few weeks on it and withdrawal if you stop taking it. This is exactly why I was hesitant to try taking meds for it to begin with. I have SO many systems (for everything!) that I’ve put in place dealing with it ALL these years without meds, that I function well, but have wondered if I could function even better with additional focus. Is there a medication for ADHD that helps with focus that can just be taken on work days that it’s really needed? I do have a follow up scheduled with my doctor Tuesday but wanted to get some ADHD community advice first.

I want to share this because I spent a decade being treated for the wrong thing and I think it's more common than anyone talks about diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder at 22, in and out of therapy since then with different therapists and different approaches, CBT, ACT, some medication that helped a bit but never really resolved anything, and I made progress on managing the anxiety but the underlying experience never changed the way I expected it to, because I still felt constantly behind, constantly overwhelmed by things that seemed manageable to other people, and unable to follow through on things I actually wanted to do At 32 a friend with ADHD said "everything you just described is what my ADHD feels like" and something clicked, so I got an evaluation, it came back positive, and the psychologist explained something I hadn't understood before: a lot of what I'd been experiencing as anxiety was the downstream effect of ADHD, because the chronic sense of being behind, the cognitive overload, the avoidance, those were responses to a brain that couldn't regulate attention and working memory the way the anxiety treatment model assumed it could The anxiety treatment helped me cope with the anxiety response but it couldn't touch what the anxiety was actually responding to, and that distinction changed everything I'm not saying anxiety isn't real or that ADHD explains everything for everyone, I'm just saying it was the question nobody thought to ask me for ten years

Hi, r/AuDHD
I'm a community member and student researcher studying how senses and attention work in neurodivergent individuals, including what helps, what gets in the way, and what most research misses. Most research on us focuses on what’s 'broken' or how we fail to meet neurotypical standards. I’m not interested in that. I want to understand how we interact with the world around us.
Who can participate:
* Adults 18+
* Self-identified autistic, ADHD, AuDHD, or neurotypical individuals
* No formal diagnosis required
What's involved:
* Anonymous Google Forms survey
* 10-15 minutes
* No personal information collected
 
Survey Questions –  https://forms.gle/o4QkryWuuihkKk196

tldr; 44yo this year, throughout my life, i've always wondered why am i so different from people around me. Only last year, when my teenager girl got into trouble and complaints in school was I exposed to ADHD. We had her tested and she was diagnosed with ADHD.

Then it dawned on me that i have the exact same symptoms as her.

- I can't focus when someone is talking face to face with me

- i walk around during meetings

- I can't for my life sit through a netflix without fast forwarding

- I always miss paying bills and incur late fees

- I complete tasks/projects right on the day of the deadline.

Never for once did i associate all these with a mental condition. Everyone including me chalked these off for being lazy. I developed coping mechanism in my adulthood, which resulted in my constantly being rated as exceptional performer but deep down i'm still insecure because these issues have never gone away. Probably made worst by adulthood. (Example, i have tons of debts because of my "laziness" in paying off bills when they're due.

I wonder if an official diagnosis and eventual therapy and medication will help me.

Every time I try to find a job on LinkedIn I somehow end up completely spiraling instead.

I start searching, then see posts about career advice, and suddenly feel like I’m already behind or doing everything wrong. Then I fall into researching random things instead of actually applying, and after a while the whole thing becomes so overwhelming that I just freeze and avoid it completely.

I’m realizing this happens to me a lot whenever something feels emotionally loaded or too open-ended. It genuinely makes me feel awful about myself sometimes.

I’ve tried different approaches over the years, but nothing really sticks for long.

I guess I’m mostly wondering what has personally helped other people here when you get into that “stuck/frozen” state?

I have ADHD inattentive type, and I know exercise would probably help me a lot. The problem is I feel completely paralyzed when it comes to starting. I used to be really active, but I haven’t worked out in years and now even beginning feels overwhelming. How do people actually start again when their brain resists it this hard?