Spouse has Extreme Burnout from my ADHD. Help.
For context, my spouse (29F) and myself (29M) have been together over 3 years and married for about half a year. They are the reason I went to get diagnosed with ADHD about a year ago and helped me to get medicated and getting help when no one else in my life did. Right now they are experiencing extreme burnout from the stress of my condition and has told me that they hate me and I only make things worse and never better. I’ve been having anger issues lately, especially when the adderall crashes around 7 PM. I’ve been lashing out at my spouse and taking my frustrations out on them by yelling and blame shifting. I’ve been trying to do better and show them that I want to change, but they won’t believe me. I forgot to reschedule another therapy appointment so I’ve been behind on that. I recently got to schedule it again.
After I got overly upset last night and we both went to sleep upset, I’ve been trying everything possible to help them and they keep refusing any help telling me I only make things worse and that they hate me.
Has anyone been in a similar situation? I fear I will lose my partner who I deeply care about. I’m lost on what to do. I understand they are overwhelmed and I can’t get them to believe me when I say I understand. They say I will just lash out again tomorrow so what’s the point. I don’t want to get overly upset and quick to anger. I want to change. How do I show them that? I’ve tried listing out all of the issues they have and trying to come up with a list of solution oriented options to present to them and talk about, but I got told that I wasted time and that I didn’t actually do anything.