r/neurodiversity

My significant other has autism, and I know that marketing is not allowed on here, but I just really don't know where to share this to the people that might actually need or want it. Basically I built an app that lets you structure your day, in a way that doesn't feel overstimulating / overwhelming.

Basically my SO struggles a lot with this in particular, making a schedule for the day. The day was always setup with "this needs to happen by this time" etc. and when she slept in she was already falling behind. She wanted, instead, to be able to be more flexible about her schedule. So we sat down and talked about how to make this happen for her. After a while I understood that the way I structure my day is not how she thinks about structuring hers. Basically what I do is I just split the day into arbitrary chunks, and they can seep into each other as much or as little as I want. We called it the "Squiggly line" where it's not a hard rule that the first objective / part of that day is done by that particular point in time. And it's ok if you start (like with ADHD) kind of doing something else on the next without finishing the first part.

So since I already vibe-coded this tool for her, I basically just wanted to share it with others and see if they feel the same way. I ask nothing in return, just a tool, particulary aimed for the neurodivergent usefulness of a squiggly line to separate tasks.

I was just going to name it Squiggle. But my better half suggested SquiggleWiggle. So here ti is: https://squiggle.pelk.dev/

i know a good amount of other ppl with asd in my everyday life (and online) but i go out of my way to not interact with them because i just cannot stand them. it may be because of my npd but i see them as less conscious (?) because i make a bigger effort to blend in.

And also i see so many people talking about how "autistic people arent rude, they just have a hard time with cognitive empathy but feel high amounts of emotional empathy" and it makes me feel frustrated because i have a hard time with both of those. infact, my cognitive empathy is probably better than my emotional.

because of this way of thinking i have never found a place where i could truly relate to another person with autism and it makes me feel even more alienated .

​

Well, I'm 14 years old, and I've been in therapy for two years because of depression and anxiety. I take the antipsychotic medication Risperidone and the antidepressant Fluoxetine. Last year, I underwent a neuropsychological assessment for ASD, but I left without a diagnosis because, according to the professionals who evaluated me, I was a "normal" child. However, I can't think of any other explanation for my difficulties.

I have sensory issues. When I was a child, I would take several minutes just to put on my socks because I needed to adjust them until they felt comfortable. I would usually go barefoot because I didn't like the feeling of wearing socks, and I avoided tight pants because they felt uncomfortable. Nowadays, I've experienced several meltdowns due to sensory overload, and I use noise-reduction earmuffs to help me cope.

I've also had stims since I was little, such as rubbing my feet together and rocking back and forth. I struggle with cognitive rigidity, literal thinking, and an extremely strong sense of justice. My friends used to call me stupid because I didn't understand sarcasm and was slow to catch on, which hurt me a lot.

I'd also like to mention that my friends who have been diagnosed with autism say that they think I'm autistic too, and they relate to the difficulties I experience.

I also sometimes experience shutdowns due to sensory overload, which leave me unable to speak. I've experienced periods of intense, focused interest as well — my therapist was actually the one who introduced me to the term hyperfocus.

Anyway, that's my experience. My therapist keeps saying that I have autistic traits, but never enough to qualify for a diagnosis. She says I'm neurotypical, but I find it hard to believe that a neurotypical person would experience meltdowns because of noise.

My psychiatrist thinks I might have borderline personality disorder (BPD), but says I'm too young to receive a formal diagnosis. However, as far as I know, people with BPD don't typically experience sensory issues or cognitive rigidity, so I'm really confused.

I need accommodations and a different approach to help me manage my difficulties, but without a formal diagnosis, I can't access the support I need.

Do you ever find yourself telling yourself, “no, no, no don’t say that, you can’t say that” & feel like you tell yourself that so much you don’t even know the difference between what you should and shouldn’t say anymore, so you just keep SILENT, like so uncomfortably silent you have isolated yourself into oblivion?

(& to the what to say, what not to say bit, i mean like i wish everyone could all just speak freely, but srsly, to not get gawked at / stand out / pegged as odd / or just straight ignored)

So…. with all that in mind, it just seemed easier before to distinguish what would just glide under the radar, but now …. I can hardly tell the difference anymore.

& if you have felt this way have you been able to explain this to a neurotypical, ha

hello!
I have ADHD-C and for years and years i have been an avid eyelash/eyebrow and pimple popper skin picker. any time i see a mirror i spend upwards of 5-10 mins just looking for pimples to pop or eyelashes out of place, etc. I also do the same with my legs. After a prolonged bender of skin picking last night i look akin to an ill mole rat.
does anyone have actual solid tips to stop me wanting to rip my face off zit by zit and hair by hair? and while i have heard of picky pads i do not think that would be a viable solution for me because its not stimulating enough.

I'm spiralling, I've spent the last two weeks in extreme burnout, sleeping all day just to escape this life. I don't know what I'm missing but the idea of becoming a "responsible adult" which is apparently just someone who's constantly working and never asking for help is so horrible and I know I'll never manage to be that. I don't want to do anything anymore, even things that I loved have become full of pressure and expectation that I feel like I'll never be able to meet. Nothing brings me joy anymore, I'm lucky if I do something and it doesn't burn me out. I don't have a support system and the world around me isn't friendly. I want to know what to do to feel okay, because I feel like there's no hope for me.

I'm losing a bit of hope. I am an AuDHDer in his late 20s, severely burnt out, and I'm just a little bit concerned if burning out is gonna be my life.

Got diagnosed last year, and I realise my Dad is probably AuDHD too. He's in his 60s and realised from the time I was born, he has always been in burn out. This fucking scares me.

Those in their 30s & beyond, is it possible to not be burnt out? What is the longest period of you not being burnt out?

Random late-night tipsy thoughts that I'm putting here because I make bad decisions. It *feels* like an ND thing. I'm not properly diagnosed with anything but a lot of people think I should be.

Frequently (at least until quite recently), I often don't like a song, I like one specific part of a song - a specific verse or segment of the music, then everything else is blah. Back in the day I broke/wore out CDs replaying only the parts I like, digital makes it so much easier. I find it's waned a bit with age but definitely still happens.

Being unable to read peoples emotions makes me automatically default to that person being angry... then my brain assumes that they are angry at me because of past trauma etc..

This seems to happen more often with my friends who are on the spectrum. Because they typically have very flat expressions, I always feel nervous or scared around them more often than neurotypical individuals. They don't display their emotions as clearly or as much, and that is very difficult for me given my anxiety towards everything always being my fault. I think this is also because I notice EVERYTHING about other people and what they do as a defence mechanism.. so I assume other people see the world the same as I do.. I do try to ask people if they are angry with me but it's kind of embarassing and tiring to do all the time.

Anybody else have experiences similar to this or any advice?

Thanks <3

For starters: I'm a woman diagnosed with autism in my early adulthood. I work multiple jobs and care for multiple family members. I receive no government aid or support.

It's hard! I am significantly depressed. I work in jobs where I can't be me. I am constantly masking my autism to fit it.

But 2 years ago, i found a treatment that actually worked for me and helped to hold back some of my ongoing significant debilitating depression symptoms.

It is interesting to me how doctors are always trying to push me off of my ketamine therapy, saying most people don’t stay on it this long, blah, blah, blah, what have you.

​But my brain always has a nice way of coming back and challenging that. I’m not most people. I am a woman with autism trying to navigate a world that wasn’t meant for me in the slightest way, shape, or form.

​Twice now for my sessions, I’ve had this doctor really try to push things on me that I know don’t work: group therapy, antidepressants, social clubs. What on earth am I doing on ketamine when there’s all of that stuff available? I said, "Let me take my ketamine treatment, and I'll have a good answer for you about that."

​And boy, my brain did not fail to deliver. I’m someone who likes to ponder and think before I answer questions. I’m a thinker. So, as I’m thinking about the answer to that question, I see this ship in the ocean, and it's wobbling around against these giant waves, but it has this anchor. And the anchor is only keeping it afloat, keeping it from completely breaking apart and sinking to the bottom of the ocean.

​I thought to myself, Why the hell am I envisioning that? And then it hit me: that's what ketamine is for me. It's an anchor keeping me afloat, just like that ship I imagined. And when I came back and told that doctor what I saw, he was like, "Oh, wow." You know, he kept going on and on about how ketamine affects most people.

​I finally looked at him and I said, "But I'm not most people. The therapies you are describing are designed for people whos brains work differently than mine l. Sure, you can put me in them—I'm open to the idea of learning new information—but I think there's a reason they're completely ineffective for me. They weren't designed for people like me. My brain processes the world differently."

​"I can't go out there and practice mindfulness and be like, Oh, everything is dandy just because I'm imagining myself in a field of flowers. No, I need something to actually work on the part of my brain that is malfunctioning and causing me to have all of this debilitating depression."

​That was another point that I brought up to this guy, and he just looked totally blown away. I don't think that had ever crossed his mind before. And I think he was a little offended that I wasn't so willing to hop into some mindfulness group. I did DBT therapy for a long time—a lot of commitment and investment; I had to physically go there in person.

​I looked the doctor in the eyes and I said, "DBT didn't do a damn thing for me." And I know that. I'm not the same person I was back then. I can tell that by the way I've written things versus now. I can see it in the way I interact with people, I can see it in the way that I deal with stress and difficult situations.

​Like today, for example: a delivery service lost my 90-day supply order of necessary medical supplies, which I need to live. I'm on the phone for probably about three hours, I'm at the location for an hour, and no one knows what the hell happened to my package. No one knows when a new replacement will be delivered to me. I have to keep calling back and hoping somebody will help me next week.

​Do you know what I would have done if I hadn't been on ketamine therapy? I'd have had a full-blown meltdown. Cried, got emotional—I wouldn't have gotten anybody to help me. And those people were already about as unhelpful as they come.

​But that didn't happen today. I did cry, but I was calm. I spoke respectfully to the guy trying to find it. Never raised my voice, never threw a fit—things you see with people who have autism. Yes, unfortunately, no matter how old we are, we still have our meltdowns. And that has a lot to do with living in a world that just wasn't designed for us.

​I don't mean to cause others stress; it's just that my own distress builds and builds and builds, and then inevitably when something like this happens, there's my meltdown. You know, it's kind of like a volcano that can only hold so much lava before it all comes spewing out.

​I tell you what, life isn't fair. I realize that I am my own advocate. No one's going to take care of me; I'm the only one who's going to fight my battles for me. And as exhausting as they are, I'm really glad I have ketamine to help me. This would have been a much different day otherwise, let me tell you that. I still have no answers, but at least I got some people supposedly trying to help. Whereas if you're talking to me while I'm having a meltdown, well, I guarantee you that makes most people not want to help me.

​I'm exhausted, and I genuinely wish I had someone to hug right now. I tell you what, my neck hurts—that is where I keep all my emotions and stress. Life is not fair, I just keep telling myself that. It's a dog-eat-dog world and a difficult one to navigate, be that as it may. I can't pretend everything is okay and dandy, and there's nothing wrong with that. I don't know of any rule book that says you have to see the world sunny side up. I'm a pessimist; I see things as they are.

Anyway, I just wanted to get that out of my head. What are your guys's thoughts? I really don't want to go back to feeling the way I used to.

I live in NYC, and I don’t have much work experience since I just graduated high school, but I still need to pay rent, so I managed to get a cashier job at a small business. I really put all my effort into it and I have learned a lot, I try to keep everything tidy and be a good employee but I struggle a ton with the money because of my adhd. My boss knows about my mistakes, and most of my coworkers have told me he has fired a lot of people because of them. I always pay out of pocket to cover the discrepancies, but I’m scared. I don’t really have many choices since I’m young but I really need a job, and I want to work; I really do. I want to be able to go to college and pay my bills.

I also struggle with depression, so my mental health is not the best, I’m crying my eyes out because I feel like a failure, I really don’t want to be like this, I see everyone around me and they don’t seem to struggle with numbers, but I have been like this my whole life, I don’t want to play the victim but I’m really tired.

I really need help, I’m here, just trying to think about what I’m gonna do if I lose this job, do you have any advices of what should I do? Or what kind of jobs should I take to avoid this? Please help; I really need it :(

i have adhd and something i have issues with is touch from specific people like my brother i hate hate hate when he touches me it makes me want to rip me skin off i just hate it sometimes my mom will touch me and i wont like it other times im ok with it it’s incredibly inconsistent then theres a few people where i dont mind if they touch me at all and it honestly will bring me comfort (my best friend is one of these people)

just wondering if im alone with this or not

Are there others that have a similar experience to me where people assume you have ADHD or Autism but then you tell them that you already got tested for both and it was negative?

Like, people just assume based on your personality or demeanor that you have Autism or ADHD?

I (24) recently started this job program a month ago with OVR, since OVR is going to help pay for my driving lessons at the rehab hospital, where the program is held, it makes sense I would do both. However, in the past month, I honestly don’t love this program. Some of the job coaches have made Lowkey ableist comments, which I’m sure they didn’t realize, have us do puzzles to “get the mind moving” that I literally made the comment of saying “ a literal child could do this” and the job coach laughed it off, and I also got a micro aggression comment from him as well 🙄.
I’ve easily had crying breakdowns over the work I’m tasked with (unit attendant).
For context my family is very much ADHD/anxiety but I was born with cerebral palsy and was never diagnosed with having either ADHD or autism but very much neurodivergent, I have Dyscalculia from my mom and general learning disabilities, anxiety and ocd. (I suspect it could be audhd, and so does my therapist).
Even though I’m able-bodied, I feel like jobs are so hard to keep because of how they destroy you mentally, I have to retain so much information and put a smile on my face for others, talk to people and masking etc.
i’ve also been struggling with my hormonal reactions due to my first IUD from the summertime as well and the program happening not long after it was put into effect didn’t help, it’s 5 days a week and I had to go home yesterday because of really bad cramping, they already know about me needing to take ibuprofen and/or Tylenol to help with the pain. But it’s just so hard to do it 5 days a week, I last had a part time job 3 years ago and been unemployed since and I’m currently making a list to help explain for certain accommodations I might need at the program. At the end of the program internships, they have something called job development, which is basically job hunting with resume tweaking and going to interviews, they hope I can get a job at the end of the internship and I would like to get a part-time job, despite the current job market and I did ask them about that and one of the job coaches said “oh, we’ll see how it is in 9 months” but it’s so hard to find one that’s just right for me, no matter where you work, jobs tend to also just be ableist and not give a f*ck about your accommodations half of the time and hope to find one that I actually like (I’m also a digital artist and if I had a part-time job, I would like to work in a cozy bookstore or library and do my illustrations(probably commissions)/stickers or other art business merch on the side, until i’d be able to make it my full time if possible despite ssi)
Can anyone relate to this when it comes to having a job? If so, please help me feel not alone 🫶🏽. Thanks!

i think every day i grow more insane. or antisocial. everyone is so fake, men are so jealous of everyone, women play mind games all the time. everyone is so caught up in their own ego and stupid social rules. i've hit a new record of insanity or just diogenes as i like to call it. i like to smile at people when they look at me funny in the street, or say hi to random people. or say anything, be totally free from shame. but this triggers people. they think it's because you're arrogant, but it's because i just wanna be free, i don't wanna fake anything. let me be, but they won't because we have to keep our head down and be "humble" so we don't stand out too much. i can't stand it. I don't think it's "weird" to talk to a person, to be joyful, to have confidence. man this world is so rotten.

I feel like for "normal" people i'm the most unhinged but i think i'm the only sane. I see the world for what it is, not what it "has" been. There's all these rules of what i should or shouldn't say. fuck all that, if you're too liberated people ostracize you.

Hi all! So for context, I(22F) am neurodivergent. I was diagnosed eith ADHD, dyslexia and autiam beyween the ages of 10-12. So, I know im neurodivergent, but i was wondering what this particular trait is called, and if someone else experiences this.

I have this thing where everything has to be even. For example, I cannot have one sock on, I either have to have both socks on or neither sock on. The textures can be different, just 2 socks or 0 socks must be on my feet. The same goes for shoes, execept they have to be the same shoe. This goes for gloves as well. If one glove is on, another one must be on. Also, tbis applies to wetting hands. Both hands/feet must be wet or they cant be wet. When things arent even, i feel extremely uncomfortable and irritable, and get irrationally angry, to the point to where i have a meltdown.

As a scientist, this effects my everday life bc I have to wear both gloves in yhe lab, and my PI gets a little annoyed with me bc Im wasting gloves, but I cannot complete my lab tasks if i only have one glove on.

But anyway, does anyone else experience this? what is this trait called?

Thanks sm and have a great day 😋