r/neurodiversity

First of all, i want to mention that i don't mean to be disrespectful towards neurodivergent people at all, I'm genuinely curious and would like to know more about it. If it sounds disrespectful, I'm sorry, but it's far from my intention, however, i can delete my post if needed.

So, a few years ago i was in therapy (not anymore, currently) and my therapist told me i was HSP, even if it's not a official diagnosis itself, that i fit right into it.

I looked for it on the internet, but some sources say it is neurodivergence and others say it's not, so I'm confused.

It is true that i can somewhat relate to some symptoms of other neurodivergences, but i don't think i personally am any of those. (but I could be wrong, of course!) I also have a brain-gut axis problem, and i don't know if that's something that's giving me any symptoms that I'm mistakingly understanding them as neurodivergence.

I found this subreddit, so i thought it could be nice to try asking here to see everyone's opinion here. Thank you so much to everyone in advance and again, i apologize if it sounds disrespectful in any way

Just something i wanted to put out there for women i learned at the menopause clinic yesterday from the doctor she said that women with auhd have a much harder time with perimenopause which can happen actually in some cases after 30 but definitely anytime after 35. And bhrt can really help us. I wanted to share this as im on the forefront of it and trying to learn this information has only been available to women for about ten years and peri with auhd theres even less information. So it hit me out of nowhere the prime of it. Im 47 right before it i got the auhd diagnosis felt better and then started feeling like i was losing my mind and didnt know why i was grateful to get this information. Biggest first sign which came on early 40s was my sleep i was put on sleep meds and it was awful now i know it was the hormones. Just if your a woman i highly advise learning about this because we all get the joy of going through it and im writing notes im going to put into a book for my auhd daughter someday shes a teen but knowledge is power and as far as this topic its on you. Im choosing liberation in getting older over the suffering of women in my bloodlines. The medical field has done women wrong but changes are on the horizon and its ip to us to advocate for change. God bless you all and keep going!!

I’m a 22M and have recently realised I’m on the spectrum after years of subconsciously masking. I’m also diagnosed with ADHD. Since I’ve been rediscovering myself and untangling from my trauma, I’ve come to realise who I am and I want to start dating. But I don’t know where to start, and I worry if it’s not even possible as a highly sensitive man with AuDHD.

Does anyone have any insights? Or any personal success stories as someone similar to myself? Thanks!

My psychologist told me that she wouldn’t consider me to be a patient with OCD, but actually someone with OCPD. This has literally never crossed my mind. She points to my anxiety and rigid rules that I follow, justice sensitivity and the need to be in control of things. I can relate to these descriptors but I also would not consider myself a perfectionist at all, nor do I keep things orderly or tidy (my ADHD makes my room look like a teenagers and I’m 31)

I have been diagnosed with OCD since 8th grade and I have been on a medication for it since I was 18. I don’t struggle as much with compulsions but I do struggle with intrusive thoughts and rumination. I have thought I was AuDHD for the past few years, so the suggestion that I have a personality disorder really confused me and now I’m feeling lost. My sensory issues are extreme and I feel very much like I don’t know how to “do” social interactions right but she says she thinks that is due to social anxiety.

Anyone out there with OCPD? Or an OCD diagnosis that was then diagnosed with OCPD? Or OCPD and adhd / autism?

Thanks y’all <3

I am a 20 year old man who is completely new to the workforce. And my experience has been completely shit. My first interview I got rejected for being trans. Which fucked up my mental health. Another interview said that I don't get to demand anything (I wasn't demanding just sayin that I'm looking for what benefits and which pay is better) because I'm a new worker. Finally I get hired somewhere. And they make a big deal over me taking a sick day. And apparently there's a rule that after a company picnic ur supposed to show up to work the next day and no one ever told me that. I just didn't come the next day cuz I was feeling sick. And then the head chef said it's basic logic. Which made me kinda mad because how am I supposed to know something I have never heard of. I feel like I'm not meant for a job but at the same time what else can I do?

I have posted about this yesterday but would like to go more in-depth of my experience of being late diagnosed and life as a neurodivergent girl.

I am 20. I grew up with a family who quickly noticed signs of being different yet were advised by multiple people (including therapists) to not get me an official diagnosis as a label would “harm me”. After all, it only harms their reputation.

So i went, behind everyones back, with my own money, to get tested. I felt something was wrong/different and i needed to figure what it was so i would become more of a functional human and young adult. There i was, at 19, having all these consults, and doing all these tests to find answers. And answers i got. ADHD, OCD, dyscalculia,anxiety and depression. I wasn’t crazy after all.

I was made to feel crazy.
I was made to feel like an alien but in the same breath told i was totally normal. It depended on the day.

My world, ironically started crumbling.

I had questions, and i asked them. How is it not possible to have seen this? Why wasn’t anything done to help? Why did i have to handle this all by myself??

I told my parents about it. My dad sometimes forgets but always has empathy.
My mother refuses to accept it. Because that would mean her having to do some self reflection.

I started being nicer to myself, to my mind. I am now able to explain why certain behaviours happen, not to justify myself, but to have empathy.

I was told to not reveal this information. I was told to keep pretending to be normal.
I was told to keep faking it.

Neurotypicals don’t appreciate my existence. Some of them. I generally create an odd feeling in them. Maybe because i dont mask well and i enjoy being myself.

I am not naturally insecure. I am just told what to be ashamed of within my own self.

I been in therapy, healing a lot of stuff that needed to be healed so i have a decent relationship with family.

I mentioned i don’t mask well, but i mask.
I have a very surface level relationship with my mother and her parents. These people don’t know and don’t care to know about me. I am told i will be nobody-and that i should accept this faith-.

Life will always be inconvenient because the world isn’t ready for neurodivergence. But i hope to make it a little less draining every day.

Navigating my 20s and this has been painful and challenging… but a lot of stuff in life is.

Thank you for reading.

Most likely will repost in other similar sub Reddits

so I know reddit isn't that serious and I'm not just upset about reddit. I'm upset that reddit has pretty much confirmed, more harshly so, and ongoing pattern of my whole life.

Ever since I was a child nobody ever believed me about anything. This pattern has been for as long as I can remember and has continued on into adulthood now

It may be about simple things. Like, someone not believing me that I genuinely dont understand something or have genuinely never heard of something or that I actually do/dont do something, etc.

Or it may be serious things. Like when I tried to report abuse and nobody believed me.

But regardless in my daily life nobody ever believes me about anything at all it seems.

And irl, I've faced so much instutional gaslighting as a result.

But ever since I joined reddit 4 years ago its kind of just confirmed this. And since the people online are anonymous they're WAY harsher about it. And it makes me think if people are comfortable expressing what they feel about me to the fullest while anonymous online, how many people I've encountered irl who put me through the exact same dynamics irl have thought all the exact same things about me but just didn't say it to my face because they weren't anonymous?

But throughout my past few years on reddit, I have had MULTIPLE posts across MULTUPLE subreddits get accused of being trolling or rage baiting. When I was actually genuinely being sincere.

I've even have had mods remove my posts for "trolling" and then personally tell me to stfu when I tried to clarify.

And the more I try to say "I'm being sincere" and "I don't understand what you're getting at" the more I get downvoted and insulted. But I'm geniuenly being sincere and I geniuenly don't understand.

I dont know what is it about me that makes everyone want to not believe me in every aspect of life both online and offline.

As the title says, my friends often make reference to what they consider unusual behavior or ways of thinking, and they ascribe this to potential ASD. Throughout my entire life, people have made comments about me being "odd", although I often don't know what specifically they are referring to. I can be a bit gullible, for lack of a better word, and take some things literally when they are not intended to be, although not always. Due to this and some social difficulties, I sought an evaluation with a clinical psychologist a few years ago (about age 23, now 27). In her write up and during the assessment, she made it clear she had no indications, based on my behavior, that I am on the autism spectrum. I pick up on social cues very well (maybe too well, ie social anxiety), had no developmental delays as a child (learned most things quickly and had some friends), and although I have facial tics and repetitive motor behaviors, she thinks they are better explained by anxiety. I was, however, diagnosed with ADHD (primarily inattentive), and this might explain some things I've described.

Overall, I still find myself confused, as people continue to find me "strange", although not typically in a way they seem upset by. I do struggle everyday with doing the things I need to do, and I have social interactions that leave me feeling embarrassed or misunderstood quite often. My friends and others seem so convinced there is some social defecit behind my behavior, but I feel as though I have no explanation as to what causes me to be this way. It makes me feel as if I have something inherently wrong with me, whereas if I had some sort of diagnosable reason I could excuse it within myself. What do they see that I don't?

I got diagnosed with ADHD around April of this year and I recently started concerta (18mg)
I’m not exactly sure how to word this but I feel like after my diagnosis, I’ve been limiting myself more. Like I think of myself negatively a lot stronger than I did when I was undiagnosed/unmedicated (though I sort of always knew what was wrong with me)

Anyway, I am a rising senior in high school and I can’t help but think about how I’m kinda fucked for the rest of my life due to poor academic performance. I considered military before I was diagnosed and now I legally can’t. I currently have a 2.4 GPA so theres not much I can do after graduation aside from community college.

I don’t really know what else to say so if anyone relates or has advice I would appreciate hearing that

I’m a personal trainer, and the more I learn about autism and neurodiversity, the more I realize that a lot of traditional fitness advice, “just push yourself harder,” “stay disciplined,” “mix up your workouts” doesn’t necessarily work for everyone.

For some autistic adults, the biggest challenge may not be exercise itself, but the sensory, mental, and routine-related demands that come with it.

For example, exercise can potentially help with things like:

• Stress and sensory overload — movement can provide a physical outlet after an overwhelming day.
• Sleep — regular movement may help support better sleep.
• Executive function — having a simple, predictable workout means less decision-making about what to do.
• Energy and mood — even a short session can be a useful break from sitting or mental fatigue.
• Body awareness and coordination — strength and movement can help you become more comfortable with how your body moves.
• Routine — repeating familiar exercises can make working out feel more predictable and less overwhelming.
• Confidence — getting stronger and noticing what your body can do can feel rewarding without making weight loss or appearance the goal.

And I think the environment can be just as important as the workout itself.

A crowded gym, loud music, unfamiliar equipment, people watching you, constantly changing exercises, that's a lot of sensory and mental input before you've even started exercising.

For some people, something as simple as a quieter environment, headphones, a familiar routine, or knowing exactly what the workout will look like beforehand can make exercise feel completely different.

I’d genuinely be interested to hear from people here:

What makes exercise difficult or uncomfortable for you?

Is it sensory overload, motivation, executive function, gyms, coordination, getting started, not knowing what to do, or something completely different?

Instagram Haleigh Mills - Personal Trainer | PrimePears

I always had a thing for daydreaming scenarios of moments that would never happen ever since I was younger, imagining scenarios and such while repeatedly doing stuff without effort. Even if thats normal for younger people to experience, every year it gets worse, so bad to the point I started isolating myself from all my contacts socially. I always try making sure I text for streaks but often forget about it and tell myself that I would do it later, then I become tired and often fall asleep and lose my streaks even though im active, I just come up with hundreds of excuses to make them think that im not ignoring them. I swear its like I physically cant get up to text them.

A lot of my family members (and some people) describe me as someone thats overly defensive even over harmless questions, telling me that I get mad easily and such, but I think thats just because of puberty so it probably might not be a sign of anything.

I also always start to walk around mindlessly and energetically while binging on food, even if im not hungry (not forcefully), because my mind is always full of energy and I always just snack on things I dont really like that much, which has developed my habit of chewing ice since its basically just water so theres no way I could ever get sick of it. A lot of people told me that it was just because of low iron (also because I snack on non-edible things such as biting into cardboard), and while that could be partially true (I didnt get tested for it yet but have signs of anemia and it runs in my bloodline), that doesnt excuse my behavior for wanting to snack on other stuff for being too hyperactive.

I want to stop daydreaming but at the same time I dont, theres a lot of videos talking about how to stop with scenarios and such, yet I dont like listening to the tips because I would feel so empty inside right after, no matter how many friends I talk to or hangouts I would always get bored or exhausted.

Im not doing too bad on school though, but I tend to procrastinate a lot, last year I procrastinated so much to the point I had 6 whole missing assignments from how lazy I got. But at the same time in some assignments, I get so engrossed into it I focus for days into writing it and perfecting mistakes as if I dont have anything else to do.

I always get hyper-focused over things that im not even interested in, and I know thats normal for people that are bored but theres a lot of things that I wanna get into, I have friends I can text, I have cases that im interested in seeing, I have interesting videos of topics im absorbed on but struggle to even start doing any of them even though its summer and im not restricted into doing anything. Im also very energetic and run a lot in circles at home, or sometimes even when im outside my parents call me an embarrassment for being too active in public or staring at people too much.

(Apologies, I feel like this is kinda normal so dont take any offense on this, im VERY sorry if this sounded like I was mocking neurodivergent people in any way, im not saying this to get people to diagnose me or anything, I just wanna get myself tested but unfortunately my parents refuse to take me to a psychologist, so I just wanna see if I have any symptoms of anything. Also, is there any tips for me to stop being like this? Even I couldnt manage to sit still while writing all of this, but I dont know since I can still manage to sit still during class a lot soo)

I had been dating a neuro diverse man for about six months I am not neuro diverse myself. He is also not diagnosed he’s self diagnosed (problem #1) On top of all of this he also has never dated anyone in his 30+ years of like for longer then a few weeks. (Problem #2) Once we started to get to the six month mark he started to act a little fishy, started to pull away, pick up more work things like that. A week before my birthday he let me know that he was having thoughts of uncertainty about the relationship I thought okay let’s call it here but nevertheless agreed to “meet half way” well after a few more conversations and then him saying he struggled to feel a “connection” it got worse. Then came my birthday. He is very weird about birthdays he does not celebrate his own and purposely disappears from the world (deep childhood trauma I suspect) part of his fishy behavior I suspect had to do with the fact that my birthday was fast approaching. Long story short he did not show up to dinner and never wished me a happy birthday and has just completely disappeared off the face of the planet. All of this has left me very confused and angry at myself for even allowing it to go on this long but nevertheless here we are now. Another lesson learned.

So my dad has ADD, I have autism, my brother has a lot of ADD traits, my mom has a few ADHD traits, my uncle has autism and my cousin has ADHD.

I don’t get along with my dad. I don’t know much about add/adhd so if you guys can help me understand that would be good.

He is the reason I don’t want kids. I feel I can’t be ND and have a healthy relationship with my kids. His meltdowns are insane. We call them “blowups” but I believe they are related to add?

He has EXTREME anger issues. Anything will set him off. I was diagnosed with ptsd when I was 5 I have major issues with the sound of dishes clinking in the sink due to him. He’s extremely emotionally abusive and even worse verbally abusive.

My mom wants to divorce him but she’s scared of him. I’ve made a bunch of posts in the past I’ll put down below if you want to read them to get some background info.

But basically i graduated 2 years early (I did it so I can leave my house and go to the dorms to not be at home) I got my diploma in the mail and I was super excited! He was sitting on the couch my mom opened it with me and I tried to show him but he just turned his head away and closed his eyes. Why isn’t he proud of me? Why doesn’t he like me? I can’t stand to be around him and the day will become 10x worse if he’s around.

Other posts for background
https://www.reddit.com/r/autism/s/7E0Ce6aGul

https://www.reddit.com/r/mentalhealth/s/xMl8PgXtSj

https://www.reddit.com/r/teenagers/s/ABIPdwao66

Perhaps an ableist rant so thats why theres a trigger

Hi! I usually would post on the autism
subreddit but since i got diagnosed with adhd, here seems to be more appropriate and hello everyone:)

I am 20 years old and throughout my life, my mom and her parents put in their minds that i will be an absolute loser as an adult. Yesterday, it became something said instead of the feeling i had. My mother told me, after i said i wanted to work full time “only time will tell.”

For context i have a NT twin brother whose dreams are to work for the luxury industry in biochemistry and somehow that seems more believable to my family than me forming a life of my own.

I am not physically or mentally disabled. I do struggle with social cues and want to pursue marketing. Yet my family thinks i will become an unemployed loser every time there is a major change in my life. No one thought id make highschool, no one thought i would survive college and living alone. Yet not only did i survive, i thrived.

I will restart therapy in September but just wanted to know if anyone else in your life thinks you will be useless just because youre neurodivergent? We can do this:)

If you think about it, people seldom empathize over non-observable handicapness (no alternative word available)... This is very much understandable given the human nature. You see a person with a broken leg and your brain automatically makes you wonder how thyself would survive with that phaqd up leg, and pour in empathy.

You see a blind person, people could technically close their eyes and still empathize over how much they would suffer.

Now imagine one part of your brain shut down or a specific aspect of your brain not working as it is "supposed to"... Good luck finding a person simulating that and empathasizing it...

I totally forgot what I was about to say... So yeah (this "so yeah" I "acquired" from my dear friend, which doesn't matter right now, anyway)... oh yeah, I remembered!

But because of this lack of awareness, filmmakers are trying to spread the awareness (Which is very nice of them)?

Or is it just the usual?

The filmmakers (aka the writers aka every phaqing person who contributed to the film) might have truly intended to spread the awareness. But the marketing team, not convinced of what the creators created and smart enough to realize that people wouldn't be able to turn off their brains as they would like to, but still want everyone to realize what the others are going through, try and push the exaggerated stuff that the filmmaker try to infuse in their story so as to make their audience understand something that's not even actually true? I mean, taking the extreme end of a spectrum (btw, I see everything as a spectrum from headache to autism) and trying to educate people using that might not backfire (especially in cases where they can't close their eyes and simulate that problem)?

Just as expected, I might keep coming back and editing this post. Why? If you don't know the answer to this question, thank you so much for your time reading this post. For the rest of you, "Hi how are you doing".

The point (I'm trying my best): If you showcase the worst case scenario of a physically challenged person (in a well intended way, for a good purpose), people can still relate to it and would be considerate about it regardless of the severity. If you showcase (in movies and media) only the worst case scenario of a mentally challenged person, people wouldn't be having any clue as to what's going on their mind and just believe what they see is the reality and might not even show partial empathy over that person who's partially handicapped. I guess, this is the whole thing I was trying to say and I think a lot many of us come under this category.

I'm spanish, i'm not diagnosed but I've always felt off in terms of relating to my peers. Now I have a group of friends who are also vagely neurodiverse and we're all kida the outcasts within our university class.

I've been thinking a lot of social interations and lots of cultural expectations and the way most people socialize here is very uninvinting and/or hostile, with friend groups generally being closed off. Probably others from countries such as portugal, italy and france can say similar things.

Anyways would like to hear thoughts on it.

For context, I’m 25f getting a masters in order to practice therapy. I’m currently diagnosed with ADHD, ASD, PMDD, & Anxiety. I also have an incurable bodily illness which adds to this feeling, I’m sure. Currently, I’m learning a lot about OCD through my job and school, and a lot of things are clicking. My supervisor also mentioned getting an assessment done for myself. As someone in this field, I understand how important getting specialized treatment for OCD is. I’m just so tired of getting diagnosis after diagnosis to the point where I sometimes feel like a mutant in my family or something (they don’t believe in getting assessed/treated for mental health). Now I’m also wondering, am I actually autistic or is it OCD, or both? It’s like I need the answers but at the same time I don’t want to lose myself in labels you know? I know that these conditions have a heavy overlap with each other, it’s just hard to accept sometimes. It’s also difficult to balance the acknowledgment of how these conditions impact my life and personality with who I am underneath it all. Has anyone else felt this way? Please be kind🙏

I have a friend online with multiple sclerosis (MS) and we spoke about neurodivergence and labels with it. She asked me if I considered it apart of the neurodiversity spectrum. I told her it wouldn’t really be my place to say as I’m not an authority nor expert. I live with neurodivergence and my family has ASD/ADHD/bipolar/etc.

My understanding is that literature doesn’t include neurodegenerative disorders. Which I haven’t heard a good explanation as to why it’s not considered a neurotype. If anyone can fill me in professional or unprofessional.

I also found myself thinking the intention of Judy Singer popularizing neurodiversity was to include all to normalize conditions like autism, adhd, etc. That way people realize the human brain has a lot of variety and how people process/live life. If anyone wants to fill me in on their thoughts or opinions please let me know.

Edit: I have no idea why this is getting downvoted. 😬 I just asked a question and explained my understanding of this topic. Dang.

Edit: incase my post isn’t clear. I am neurodivergent I have a personality disorder and bipolar disorder. I have family with autism/adhd and other neurodivergent conditions.

My friend asked me because she’s not familiar with the term neurodivergent if she is. I’m not trying to say she is or is not as it’s not place. I am not wanting to say everyone is neurodivergent or isn’t. That’s not my intention and I don’t feel that’s my place.

I guess I'm AuDHD (waiting for my official diag) and I have the most basic special interest : videogames.

I like to play them, read about them all day, following the news, browsing Steam for hours, I create and sell my own videogames so learning gamedev stuff, coding etc. is a big part of my life, I can speak about Morrowind or any other games for litteral hours if nobody stops me when I'm with friends or other passionate people, or here on Reddit...

BUT :

I can't say a word about it to people that aren't fully into it.

They're like "so, what are you playing right now?" and I have no idea all of sudden, can't really remember the game I played yesterday or what my favourites are. I'll reply something like "I like indie games" and once they ask me what type of games I'm into I just blank.

I usually don't know what the other person know about gaming and I think this is what blocks me, I can't thell them I just finished Shards of Order because I know nobody knows that game, but I'm also pretty sure the person won't know what Slay the Spire is so I can't say "it's like STS but not a roguelite", do they know what a roguelite is? Then I'm just spiraling out of control.

I meet someone and they're like "Oh, I love videogames too, I love Assassin's Creed" and the conversation is OVER. It's not really a serie I'm into so I can't bounce back. People ask me "you create videogames? Cool! Like what?" and I can't say a word about them / am too ashamed because they're small solo project and people tend to think I'll be creating Skyrim on my own...

It kinda gets me into Imposter Syndrome mode when it happens because from what I understand, autistic people can't shut up about their special interest, like ever, even to people who have zero care for it. My psy asked me about what games I like and I had that same blockage so now I'm a little worried she'll think it's not really a special interest to me.

Do any of you relate to this?