r/neurodiversity

Daniel Wendler knows what it feels like to be a polar bear in the wrong climate.

A “proudly autistic” clinical psychologist, author, and workplace advocate, Wendler has spent his career arguing that most companies aren’t failing their neurodivergent employees out of malice — they’re doing it by default.

“Because most people are neurotypical, organizations are designed according to neurotypical needs, which means that people with neurodivergent needs get left out,” Wendler said May 20 at Fortune’s Workplace Innovation Summit.

His go-to illustration: imagine taking a polar bear — an apex predator, unrivaled on Arctic ice — and dropping it in Austin, Texas. The animal doesn’t suddenly become less capable. It’s just been placed in an environment that wasn’t built for it. Neurodivergent workers, he argues, are that polar bear every time they walk into a standard open-plan office.

“This is the exact same principle that explains how we can unlock the talent of the neurodivergent team members within our organization,” he said.

Read more [paywall removed for Redditors]: https://fortune.com/2026/05/20/neurodivergent-workers-in-typical-workplace-like-polar-bear-in-desert/?utm_source=reddit/

Hi all, I’m 25f and undiagnosed but unsure. I have ADHD and OCD, which I understand that symptoms overlap a lot with those of autism. My question is- can anyone relate to feeling chronically younger than peers? I feel like people look at me like I’m younger than I am because I do things that others don’t, or that they’re better at hiding (such as swaying, rocking, zoning out, fidgeting). I also have very specific interests which other people find strange or humorous. It’s just a feeling I get when speaking to others that they view me as younger because of neurodivergence, even if they can’t put it into those words exactly. I’m not diagnosed but I’ve suspected for a long time now, but I’m not trying to self diagnose. I don’t really have the option to get an evaluation at the moment.

My brain slowed down, I feel normal for once, all those thoughts are gone, it's literal tranquility.

I don't have the funds to drink daily but if I did then i would be an alcoholic 😭. Such a grounding experience.

Maybe this is better than Medicine. 🤷

So I’ve always known about neurodivergence to an extent (knew about asd and adhd and all that) and after talking to an autistic friend last year I’ve started realizing some of things I did as a child (and do now as a teen) are kinda peculiar?

I talked to my mom and she kind of confirmed it? She said she saw it almost immediately as a child and talked to my (at the time) pediatrician who told her that there isn’t a need for diagnosis as long as I managed how I acted because it’d put a label on me.

So since then I’ve been in therapy for about 7-8 years (I know it was just a little while before Covid when I started)? I’ve changed a lot in how I’ve acted, like my sensitivity to emotions and my (sometimes) lack of social cues. I do sometimes struggle but oh well.

So I’m curious just to find a part of myself let alone if I’m actually neurodivergent (cause I don’t want to find symptoms in different/normal habits) and so I can just figure out some of the things I have done/do and come to terms with things (because I’ve lately been coming to terms with some of my why’s in how I act and what I’m doing. And also my fear of self diagnosing (because I don’t want to consider myself something I may not be)

If any help at all I have been diagnosed with Depression and Anxiety :)

I'm sensitive towards noise, bright lights, intense temperature difference,the texture of clothes, the texture of food, negative comments (even though I believe some of the comments are justified), negative vibes, specific sounds,etc. I also tend to get extremely angry when someone makes false assumptions about me even if they're jokes.I cry easily and can feel the emotions of others and their emotions affect me significantly. My parents often tell me that I'm too sensitive and that I can't live in this world like that and that I need to change myself since I was a child. I thought that I was crazy.

I found a video about HSP and I thought that I was a HSP up until now. Today, I found that HSP is not a real term and that it can be ASD, ADHD or Autism. I tried to learn about these terms but they didn't fit the criteria. I think that maybe I just don't want to accept it. Maybe I don't know myself anymore since I tried to change myself so that others may accept me.

I can't get professional help because where I live going to a psychiatrist or psychologist labels you as a "psycho". Even my family believes that. Therapy here is expensive and my family is not financially stable.

I need your help to know about myself. There's no one I can ask about it. It really bothers me because I spent all my life thinking that I was crazy. My family would tell me to "stop playing victim" and "why are you so dramatic".At one point they even called me a psycho and I believed it. It is really hard for me to go on living like that. I'm tired of my life.

Last week I bought the AirPods 4 with active noise cancellation and oh my god. My life is changed. Everything is quiet. I feel so much calmer when I’m in public. Grocery shopping isn’t awful anymore (aside from the lights). There’s a lot of construction happening near my house so being able to have peace and quiet is incredible.

I was skeptical before. And they’re not the cheapest. But WOW

I guess many neurodivergent people do both. What Puzzles me hoewever is how some can handle such immense stress, while others with the same condition cant do 5 minutes of Small Talk?

I See the elon musk types (fuck this guy btw) who is clearly on the spectrum but seems to tolerante incredible amounts of Stress basically non stop.

I hate being autistic. I know to some people it's like the best thing in the world but those are usually the people that have some kind of autistic superpower like they're amazing at math or they have unbelievable music ability or some other kind of amazing genius. But when you're just run-of-the-mill normal average everyday autistic person like me it's fucking sucks. There is nothing special about being autistic other than your superpower being able to alienate people with the greatest of ease. Are the other amazing superpower you were given with your autism where you can appear close enough to normal that when the glitches in The matrix make their appearance people blame you for them like you should have known no matter how many times you try to explain your social ignorance in blindness to people you still get blamed like you're the bad guy. Oh yeah autism is the fucking best.

It even makes it better when you have a family that leaves you over it. That would rather judge you and not have anything to do with you or support you because of your differences. Yeah autism is fucking great.

The best part is where you get to live in a world where you're basically a ghost with a pulse where you're always on the sidelines looking in at the party never get to participate.

Autism sucks. In the worst part is I get sad over the fact that I can't have relationships then I watch movies where people get to enjoy each other and make new friends and become close and share a bond and no one wants from me and I've tried in my socially awkward autistic way to have that with people. But no matter what I do relationships and people don't last in my life. I always thought about writing a biography called you have 5 minutes because after that you won't want any more of my time. And that's been the constant truth throughout my entire autistic life. It's hello followed by a goodbye and never call me again and sometimes even threats of being arrested if I do contact them again. Yeah being autistic is great.

You get to be close enough to normal to want the things that normal people have but far enough away from normal never to have them so you get to live in empty sad pathetic invisible life. But autism is great isn't it. we're so special that we're autistic right?

Autism fucking sucks

i’m 18 years old, and while I am not self diagnosing myself with any neurodivergence, I see myself doing things that somebody with OCD or ADHD would normally do. Maybe even autism.

A lot of people I know got diagnosed when they were children. So I’m wondering if you’re neurodivergent, how old were you when you were officially diagnosed?

I have an nonverbal autistic older brother and I think my parents started to see signs when he was around two, where he wouldn’t respond when his name was called. I would like to say that he was diagnosed when he was around five.

I got diagnosed with ADHD at 33 after spending most of my adult life thinking I was just depressed, lazy, unmotivated, or a chronic procrastinator.
The biggest thing for me has always been task paralysis. Not even “I don’t feel like doing it” — it’s literally feeling physically unable to start, even when I know it’s important. Work tasks, emails, appointments, responsibilities… even hobbies I actually enjoy. I spent years just hating myself for it.
I also picked up a ton of dopamine-seeking habits over time. Endless scrolling, YouTube rabbit holes, gaming, jumping from thing to thing, avoiding boredom like the plague. Looking back, I’m pretty sure a lot of that was untreated ADHD.
This one’s embarrassing to admit, but I’ve also dealt with compulsive lying/mythomania stuff. Not always for some big gain (sometimes just exaggerating stories, making excuses to avoid shame, or saying shit impulsively). I’ve read that ADHD can be tied to impulsivity, rejection sensitivity, and all those coping mechanisms, so now I’m wondering how much of it was that.
Now I’m thinking about trying medication but I’m really conflicted.
On one hand, this diagnosis finally explains decades of mental friction and self-sabotage. On the other, I’m worried about side effects, dependency, feeling emotionally flat, or if meds even touch the deeper behavioral stuff.

Was medication worth it for you? Did it actually help with task paralysis or dopamine seeking behavior? Regrets?

Especially want to hear from people who spent years thinking they were just lazy, depressed, broken, or had shitty character before finding out it was probably ADHD.

I'm diagnosed with ADHD and SLD. But to add to my ND soup my psyc has also suggested that I have ASD although I'm not officially diagnosed. My physio thinks I have h-EDs and two other professionals have suggested POTS and MCAS. I also have CPTSD and Alopecia.
Is this a thing? How can so many things be compatibilities?

Does the rest of society not feel like this all the time?

I agree with all the professionals. So many unanswered issues are answered from these syndromes/disorders. But it doesn't feel real. I've been complaining to GPs for the past 15+ years about these problems but only in the last two years have my medical professionals been talking to me about these things. I feel so bombarded and uneducated.

(Sorry for the silly title)

a few weeks ago, i was put on medication for something else (not related to psychiatric medications) and my mind became.. quiet? like i could focus for the first time and i never even realized i had issues with my focus. for reference i am a hundred percent sure i have ocd and it has tormented me greatly for the most of my life but i cannot get a diagnosis due to personal and family reasons (and my country doesnt have experienced psychiatrists) so i was initially already familiar with neurodivergent concepts. i just looked into adhd and kept some symptoms in the back of my mind just for future reference, and thats when i started realizing a lot of my attitudes, behaviors, and inattention might be tied to adhd.

i adjusted my routines and all to something that suits an adhd mind and it has greatly helped me a lot. but there is a slight issue i am still facing, which is mainly about school. whenever i go to school nothing goes into my brain and i am just absolutely exhausted afterwards like my brain just stops functioning. so i dont really have focus in school or out of school BUT i did try to have a lot of caffeine to sort this out and it does help a bit but when you’re sensitive to caffeine thats probably not the best thing you should do. Anyways my problem is i cannot focus on my studies, particularly subjects i find challenging, like maths or physics and i have tried so hard to self study with all necessary accommodations and sort this out but it just doesnt work.

Most of the time i feel like a failure because i literally cannot sit down and study and if i do it takes 4 hours for small pieces of information to get into my mind. To fully master everything id need to probably sit down with everything for about 12 hours and finish it, but i dont think average students such as me would like to be THAT dedicated, i just want to do good but i dont think i have to do the absolute best. Im not sure what i can do but any sort of advice will greatly be appreciated.

I am autistic and it would be nice to connect with others like me. I feel like an alien. And I don’t have any friends. I am just so socially awkward. I don’t know if I am able to maintain a long term friendship. But I really crave connection. Ugh…what do I do?

I seen a video recently that made me think about this. How because people often either assume people who are level 1 aren't autistic or aren't autistic enough they don't get any support despite level 1 being ''low support needs'' not ''no support needs''.

I ask this as someone who growing up has yoyo-ed between level 1 and level 2 but regardless of where I was at the time in how much support I needed I never got any. My parents refused to believe anything was wrong with me despite professionals telling them so. So when I was 2 I would just lay out completely catatonic every day unless prompted to do something very specific or routine for years at a time, I'd go to school (happen in primary school and college) not speak a word go through the day checked out from my brain come home and just lay down and just cease to function. So honestly I don't know what level 1 support would look like let alone level 2.

I don't think I know what support looks like just in general. Like I never thought about it until now that I have just condemned myself to suffering my entire life because I just thought that's just how it be sometimes (and by that I mean majority of the time 😭🤣)

hey everyone! as my title states, my (18f) little brother (10m) just told me that he always sits alone in the cafeteria in lunch, in a separate table in front of his supposed ‘only friend’. when i asked him why won’t he just sits next to his friend in his table, he told me that this friend has other friends. 😕 he also told me that in his breaks he goes to the library or stays in class, reading books. he also said that this doesn’t make him sad, and that he prefers staying alone.

i don’t know if i am being dramatic, but this genuinely breaks my heart to the point of crying. i did voice my concern to my parents, but they just dismissed them… my mom just told me that he’s being overdramatic and ‘lying’ (yes he does have a tendency of being ‘overdramatic’ sometimes, but i don’t think this is the case).

is there anything i can do to support him? he doesn’t seem to mind this situation, but i am afraid he’s just hiding his true feelings.

also, i would love to hear about any similar stories.

finally, sorry mods if this is not the appropriate sub 😅🫶