u/Flowerrsyie

I always had a thing for daydreaming scenarios of moments that would never happen ever since I was younger, imagining scenarios and such while repeatedly doing stuff without effort. Even if thats normal for younger people to experience, every year it gets worse, so bad to the point I started isolating myself from all my contacts socially. I always try making sure I text for streaks but often forget about it and tell myself that I would do it later, then I become tired and often fall asleep and lose my streaks even though im active, I just come up with hundreds of excuses to make them think that im not ignoring them. I swear its like I physically cant get up to text them.

A lot of my family members (and some people) describe me as someone thats overly defensive even over harmless questions, telling me that I get mad easily and such, but I think thats just because of puberty so it probably might not be a sign of anything.

I also always start to walk around mindlessly and energetically while binging on food, even if im not hungry (not forcefully), because my mind is always full of energy and I always just snack on things I dont really like that much, which has developed my habit of chewing ice since its basically just water so theres no way I could ever get sick of it. A lot of people told me that it was just because of low iron (also because I snack on non-edible things such as biting into cardboard), and while that could be partially true (I didnt get tested for it yet but have signs of anemia and it runs in my bloodline), that doesnt excuse my behavior for wanting to snack on other stuff for being too hyperactive.

I want to stop daydreaming but at the same time I dont, theres a lot of videos talking about how to stop with scenarios and such, yet I dont like listening to the tips because I would feel so empty inside right after, no matter how many friends I talk to or hangouts I would always get bored or exhausted.

Im not doing too bad on school though, but I tend to procrastinate a lot, last year I procrastinated so much to the point I had 6 whole missing assignments from how lazy I got. But at the same time in some assignments, I get so engrossed into it I focus for days into writing it and perfecting mistakes as if I dont have anything else to do.

I always get hyper-focused over things that im not even interested in, and I know thats normal for people that are bored but theres a lot of things that I wanna get into, I have friends I can text, I have cases that im interested in seeing, I have interesting videos of topics im absorbed on but struggle to even start doing any of them even though its summer and im not restricted into doing anything. Im also very energetic and run a lot in circles at home, or sometimes even when im outside my parents call me an embarrassment for being too active in public or staring at people too much.

(Apologies, I feel like this is kinda normal so dont take any offense on this, im VERY sorry if this sounded like I was mocking neurodivergent people in any way, im not saying this to get people to diagnose me or anything, I just wanna get myself tested but unfortunately my parents refuse to take me to a psychologist, so I just wanna see if I have any symptoms of anything. Also, is there any tips for me to stop being like this? Even I couldnt manage to sit still while writing all of this, but I dont know since I can still manage to sit still during class a lot soo)