r/CatAdvice

I just got the most adorable, beautiful little kitten on Thursday, my first kitten

and I’m honestly heartbroken right now.
Since bringing her home, she’s been very skittish and has spent most of her time hiding in our guest bedroom. However, I noticed that if I sat quietly in the room for about 30 minutes, she would eventually come out of hiding, eat her food, and use her litter box.
Well, today is Sunday, and my father was getting ready for church this morning. He was going in and out of the guest bedroom several times. He told me that he saw the kitten earlier that morning when she came out to use her litter box. However, after he left the room and came back, he couldn’t find her anywhere. When he eventually left for church, he texted me and asked me to check on her because he hadn’t seen her again.
Since then, we have searched EVERY nook and cranny of that bedroom. And I mean every single one. We cannot find this kitten anywhere.
What worries me the most is that she usually comes out when she’s hungry, even if it takes a little while. But today, she hasn’t touched her food at all.
Earlier this morning, I was cleaning around her litter box with a small vacuum. At the same time, my mother was taking a shower, which you can hear through the shared wall. I was also putting together a little cat tree for her. So now I’m wondering if all those noises frightened her enough to make her find an even deeper hiding spot.
But here’s what I don’t understand. We even left the house for a couple of hours, meaning everything was completely quiet. When I came back, her food was still untouched.
We’ve checked the bedroom, the living room, and practically everywhere else in the house. I genuinely cannot understand how a kitten can be there one moment and seemingly disappear the next.
The only other possibility I can think of is that she somehow slipped out of the bedroom while my father was going in and out. But even that doesn’t make much sense to me because she’s such a nervous little kitten. The idea of her confidently running downstairs and out the front door just doesn’t seem realistic, especially considering how frightened she already is of her new surroundings.
I’m desperately hoping that she found some tiny opening or hiding spot that we somehow overlooked and that she’ll eventually come out on her own.
At this point, I’m just praying that when I check her food tonight, some of it will be gone. Even if I don’t physically see her, knowing that she came out to eat would at least reassure me that she’s alive and somewhere inside the house.
I’m trying so hard not to burst into tears, but I’m unbelievably frustrated, worried, and helpless. It’s only Sunday, and we’ve had this sweet little kitten since Thursday. I was so excited to give her a loving home, and now I can’t even find her.
but it’s the fact that she hasn’t eaten all day (I think) that’s really frightening me.
The moment I find her, I’m moving her into my father’s office. There’s practically nothing in there besides a desk and a computer, so even if she decides to hide, she’ll at least be somewhere I can easily locate her.
I just want to know that my little kitten is safe 😭

I just need some hope right now. Do you have any stories about missing a kitten for a while and then finding it?

Hi everyone!

I am an experienced cat owner but have never run into a situation like this. I rescued an 8 week old kitten (Donut) from outside because we had huge storms moving in. Her mother had passed away two weeks prior to that. The kitten was handled on and off by neighbors but not extensively. Donut is now 10 weeks old.

Donut is not at all fearful of people and will walk right up to you. Unfortunately, it is only with the intent to attack your hands or feet. If you put a fist out for her to smell, she swats it over and over (not aggressively - happy body language). If you try to pet, she bites. She will not even lay down or sleep unless she is locked in a bedroom by herself. This has caused me to feel really frustrated and defeated because the only physical interactions I have with her are painful for me. I will sometimes pet her while she’s distracted eating and she will purr, then instantly bite my hand as soon as she’s done with her meal.

We play with her A LOT (several hours per day) and she plays with my other young cat a ton but nothing ever settles her. I don’t need a lap cat but I would kill to pet her or even just have her relax in the same room as me. Please, please - does anyone have any advice? I would appreciate it SO much. Thank you 🙏🏼

My brother has 2 cats, and I’m genuinely starting to feel bad for them because of how he takes care of them.
He used to buy those little $5 bags of cat food that would last about a week, but once they ran out, he’d sometimes take a couple days to buy another bag. Me and my grandpa have had to buy them food multiple times because the food container was completely empty and he wasn’t getting them any.

Recently, he’s been buying bigger bags, so the food itself lasts longer, but the same problem keeps happening. He waits until the last crumbs of kibble are gone before doing anything, and then the cats can go another couple days without food. When he does fill their bowls, he usually only puts enough in to last about a day.

Most of the time, I’m the one refilling their bowls because I notice they’re empty. The water is another problem. I’ll notice they have food but no water, so I’ll refill their water bowls too. If I don’t notice their food is gone, though, they can be left with empty bowls for a day or longer.

I’ve already talked to my mom about it, but she usually just says he’s going to buy them food that day. I’ve talked to my brother directly, too, and he always says he was going to get them food that day. Nothing really changes.

I even asked him a couple weeks ago if both cats were his because of how little responsibility he seems to take for them. He said yes. He has a whole cat tree in his room, so it’s not like he doesn’t have stuff for them, but having cat furniture doesn’t mean much if they’re not consistent getting food and water.

Am I wrong for feeling like this is neglect? What would you do in my situation?

Hi Everyone! I've been using wheat scoop but it doesn't really do anything to mask the smell of kitty litter. I live in a studio apartment with a shared bath so unfortunately my kitty's litter box has to be in my main space. Looking for a good no smell litter option that she will like! Any suggestions welcome!

Looking to add more wet food to my cat’s diet and was wondering what your own cat’s feeding plan was when it comes to the good stuff.

Ok, so I’m looking to adopt a senior cat in the near future, as a first time cat owner. What else do I need? I’m just ordering everything off of Amazon

A scratch post,
Automatic feeder
Water fountain
Stainless steel liter box
Liter box scoop
A 60 inch tall cat tower
One of those “chasing toys” kinda looks like a fishing rod
Feline Pine Platinum Non-Clumping Cat Litter 17lb
Plant-Based Cat Litter

Food

Friskies Purina Seafood Sensations Dry Cat Food, 22 lb Bag
Sheba Perfect Portions Cuts Wet Cat Food, Multipack, 2.6 oz, 24 ct
Delectables Squeeze Up Variety Pack

I genuinely don’t know where else to talk about this, and I’m hoping someone here has experienced something similar.
For context, I’m 15 and have been begging my mom for a cat for YEARS. I absolutely love cats, and I was so excited when she finally agreed. I told all my friends, hyped it up to everyone, bought everything he needed, and genuinely thought getting him would be one of the happiest moments of my life.
We adopted a 3-year-old male cat from a shelter about four days ago, and he’s honestly such a sweetheart. He’s affectionate, follows me around everywhere, loves attention, and hasn’t done anything to deserve how I’ve been feeling.
But ever since bringing him home, I’ve been experiencing so much anxiety and regret that I genuinely don’t know what to do.
I’ve been crying almost every day, had a panic attack while talking to my mom, and my appetite has decreased significantly. The weirdest part is that when I’m outside my apartment, I feel happy and normal again. But the second I come home, I get this horrible anxious feeling in my stomach.
I miss my old environment SO much.
Before adopting him, I could sit on my couch, relax, and enjoy having my own space. Now I feel like I constantly have to think about another living being. He follows me everywhere, always wants attention, and sometimes I just want to sit on my couch without having him right beside me.
Another HUGE issue for me is the litter and cleaning. I genuinely cannot stand the thought of cat litter being in my apartment, the smell, or feeling like things aren’t clean. I’ll clean everything, only for him to make another mess an hour later, and it feels never-ending. I know cleaning is part of owning a cat, but I didn’t expect it to affect me mentally this much.
I’m actually going to be assessed for anxiety and possibly OCD soon (not self-diagnosing), and this whole experience has made me realize how much changes to my environment can affect me.
My mom has been helping me, and she actually really likes the cat, but she works two jobs, so I’m the one home with him most of the time. I feel awful asking her to do more because she already works so hard. I also feel incredibly guilty because she spent so much money getting him, and I was the one who begged for him in the first place.
Here’s where I’m really struggling.
The shelter has a seven-day return window, meaning I only have THREE DAYS LEFT to decide.
Part of me imagines returning him and feeling this huge sense of relief. Having my old environment back, not constantly worrying about cleaning, and being able to relax in my own home again.
But then I look at him and start crying because I genuinely love him. I’m terrified that I’ll return him, immediately regret it, and spend months wishing I’d given myself more time.
I’m also embarrassed because I told EVERYONE I was getting a cat. I feel like people will judge me or think I’m irresponsible if I return him after making such a big deal about adopting him.
I feel so stuck because I don’t want to give up on him too early, but I’m also terrified of keeping him past the return window and realizing that I genuinely cannot handle having a cat long-term.
I know four days isn’t a long adjustment period, but unfortunately, I don’t have weeks to figure this out.
Has anyone experienced this level of anxiety or adoption regret, especially when the cat itself wasn’t doing anything wrong?
If you ended up returning or rehoming your cat, how did you feel afterward? Did you regret it, or did you eventually feel relieved and happier?
And if you decided to keep your cat, did that anxious feeling about your home and personal space eventually go away?
I’d really appreciate hearing from people who’ve experienced something similar, especially those who have actual updates about how things turned out. Please be kind. I already feel incredibly guilty about this, and I genuinely want what’s best for both me and my cat.

Hello! Im having a issue and im exaughsted trying to solve it.

I have a sweet little 2 year old Moggy named Margalo, and for context, I do allow her on most surfaces in my home as she has not done anything to warrant deteuring....exept for this

I have a tiny nightstand next to my bed that i charge my phone on, and lay my glasses and watch on. I genuinely dont like Margalo getting on this specific surface because I dont want her breaking 2 important things I use daily....problem is,she has learned this is how I can wake up.

Normally I wake up to a 9 am alarm to feed her directly after waking up. But for weeks now, she has learned if she gets on this desk, I automatically wake up to shoo her off as earlyas 6:30 am. Me being awake + morning = breakfast to her. I've tried making the area too busy for her to want to jump on, I tried ignoring her in hopes to retrain her to wait for my alarm.

I cant just move my phone and glasses, but just this morning I had to chase Margalo off almost 10 times before 9 am. How can I deteur her from jumping on my nightstand?

Hi all! I recently adopted my very sweet and social 2 year old girl this past February and she’s the light of my life! However, I am traveling a lot in these next few months which makes me nervous. I’ve left her before for a few days-a week and have someone come to check on her minimum of once a day. I also have cameras where I can watch her/talk to her

However, I will be leaving for a week this month, next month, and almost 2 weeks in December. I will have someone (likely a friend she is comfortable with) feed her twice a day (maybe once for a few days) and change her litter, but I am worried about the emotional stress it could cause her. I have heard that some cats really struggle when their owners are gone for longer periods of time and this could lead to health issues. I am so nervous about this happening, especially because she is such a social cat.

Hi Everyone!

I'm a newish cat owner caring for my first pet! He's a little over a year old and weighs 10 pounds. I feed him wet food mixed with water twice a day: 1 three-oz can in the morning and 2 in the evening, for a total of 9 oz per day.

At the vet's recommendation, I once left dry food out for him throughout the day to prepare him for his vaccinations because when I first got him, he was a little underweight and prone to sickness. That was a while ago, and I'm reluctant to do it again because I heard it can cause dehydration that can lead to urinary tract issues down the line.

I'm asking the title question because he always seems SO hungry when it's time to eat, and I feel bad when he sees me snacking throughout the day (I wfh). I think if I'm peckish, he must be too. So, I'm considering leaving dry food out again since he's well hydrated.

I'm still new to this and wanted advice; what do you guys think?

I'm an adult and I live at home with my mom and 14 year old sister. My mom bought us a tortie last month, and she has settled in very well. She is attached to my mom like Velcro and my mom doesn't really like cats. We made the deal I would fully care for the cat and I do. I give her food, water, treats and clean her litter box but she is still attached to my mom and she also really likes my sister. She even likes my mom's boyfriend that comes over 3 times a week. Me on the other hand, if I try to gently pet her she will get up and sit back down out of arms reach immediately. If I try to play with her using toys she tries to get them away from me where I can't reach them.

2 of my best friends in the past had cats that absolutely loved me, but this one doesn't. She will roam every room in the house except for the 2nd living room that I sit in. She avoids it like it smells (its not dirty). I'm just wondering if anyone has any lesser known tips on how to help her like me. Ive done basic research and made sure I'm not doing anything that would cause her to be stressed or uncomfortable with me. She just simply doesn't like me. She also meows if I walk into the room.

I will continue to care for her even if she doesn't like me, but I'm still very sad about it because my childhood dream has turned into a let down. I am open to any advice or suggestions

Currently have a double bed with a pretty measley amount of storage underneath. Maybe a few inches for some collapsed boxes and some folders.

HOWEVER: the cats love that shit. Great for a hiding under and since one of them can be a bully, it is a good place to escape to for them.

That being said I just bought a new ottoman style bed frame that raises up and has storage inside of it. Great for me, but there's no space underneath for the cats to hide. Haven't put it together yet and I'm hesitant to do so since I haven't decided if it's the right thing to do.

Is it worth it? Do I risk upsetting them and depriving them of a good hiding spot?

hello! my cat has pretty bad hiding habits (we’ve recently gotten her from the streets) and Feliway diffuser was the only thing that’s really helped her. as everyone already probably knows it’s super expensive. I found this off brand, has anyone used it? it doesn’t even have a brand name, it’s just an Amazon rip off that works with Feliway’s plug and is WAY cheaper. If anyone has used it please let me know your thoughts! (Amazon link here: https://a.co/d/04sq1LFV )

I lost my last two dogs within a year of each other. After my second dog passed away about a year ago, I adopted two kittens shortly afterward. They're a little over a year old now, and while I absolutely love them and their antics, half the time they want nothing to do with me. I really miss the close bond and companionship I had with my dogs.

My male cat is pretty confident and curious, but my female is much more cautious. She tends to hide whenever something spooks her or she's around someone or something unfamiliar.

I've been thinking about adopting another dog, but I'm worried about how the cats would handle it. I would only adopt an older dog that's known to be good with cats, so I'm not particularly worried about the dog's reaction. It's the cats I'm concerned about.

I don't want to bring a dog into the house only to have my cats spend the rest of their lives hiding under the bed. I love them, and I don't want them to feel uncomfortable or unsafe in their own home.

For those of you who've introduced a dog into a household with cats, how did you do it? Is there any way to get a sense of whether your cats will eventually adjust before actually bringing a dog home? I know there's no way to guarantee it'll work out, but I'd love to hear how others have handled this, especially with cats that are naturally more timid.

Yesterday, I went somewhere with my friend around 2 p.m. When I came home at 9 p.m., my cat was nowhere to be found. Everyone in my house said that they didn't let her out and that she was around earlier, but they didn’t see her leave.

I checked all the windows, closets, cabinets—everything. I’m so scared that something happened to her. She’s an indoor cat, and I don’t know if she went far away because any time she does escape out she just walks around the property or is just really scared.

What I did was post a picture of her on our neighborhood Facebook page, and I left food and a little bit of her litter around the outside of the house. Now, I’m going to make posters. Does anyone have any advice on how I can find her?

Hi everyone! I adopted my cat, a 2 year old tabby, just over a year ago, and while she has always stood upright to pee, recently she has started to stand on the side of the entrance to the litter box to pee, so half of it goes in the box and half goes out. I have been to the vet to make sure nothing was wrong, and everything was fine, so I am in the process of looking for a new litterbox. I am in need of suggestions for a good, large, stainless steel box for her so she has plenty of room.

My husband and I are concerned for our neighbor’s black cat, and I’m looking for some opinions on whether we’re being unreasonable or not.

We first encountered him when he started showing up at our house about a month ago. We thought he looked kinda skinny so we gave him some food, and he scarfed it down so fast.. Eventually we found through his microchip that he belonged to a neighbor across the street. The vet contacted them, and they messaged me to get their cat back. He’s an outdoor cat and apparently has food on their back porch, but he kept showing up at our door. Eventually we became comfortable letting him come inside our house, and he’s now a frequent visitor at all hours. We’ve grown really attached to him and sometimes wish we could take him in permanently because we don’t believe he’s getting proper care..

I recently messaged his owner for more info on him. She doesn’t mind him visiting and is happy someone else is looking after him, but also asked if we can let her know when he’s at our place so she doesn’t “panic” (despite her having my number and never contacting me before with concern of where he was). From our interactions she seems like a genuinely nice person, but some things just don’t add up..

1. She said he normally doesn’t like strangers and was surprised he’s comfortable with us despite HIM coming up to US very friendly..
2. Apparently he has high blood pressure and is on dietary restrictions so she asked us not to feed him regular food. If she’s that concerned about what he eats, why leave him outside where he can eat literally anything or unknowing neighbors can feed him..?
3. The biggest thing we’re struggling to understand is that she’s expressed concern about him being outside during October because some people do bad things to black cats around Halloween, yet he still spends a lot of time outdoors..

I asked if she would like for us to keep him safe inside more often during this month and she said “yes please”.

Apparently, she’s dealing with moving back into a rented room so she can bring her TWO cats back inside. He has a brother that doesn’t go far from the backyard. She said she doesn’t like them being outside as much now because they’re getting older, but why leave them outside in the first place when there’s the risk of getting ran over by a car, attacked by a wild animal, or suffering through bad weather conditions? It’s been rainy here a lot lately and winter is also around the corner.. I know leaving them outside could be a temporary thing for now based on what she said, but we still think that’s just messed up.

I really don’t want to keep jumping to conclusions and paint her as a bad owner or accuse her of neglect, so I need outside perspective. Our conversations have been pleasant, and she seems to care at least some about her cats. I also recognize that I don’t know her full circumstances. However, between how skinny he initially appeared, his outdoor lifestyle, and how attached we’ve become to him, I can’t help wondering whether he’d be better off in a different home.

I haven’t asked her about adoption because I don’t want to overstep or make her feel like we’re trying to take her cat away, but it’s something we have considered gently approaching her with at some point.

Are we being unreasonable? Does anything I’ve described sound like potential neglect, or is there not enough info to judge? Would it be inappropriate to ask his owner if she’d ever consider letting us adopt him?

I’m genuinely looking for outside perspectives. We care about this cat and want what’s best for him, but we also want to respect his owner and handle the situation properly.

Hey guys! So I’m currently running low on cat toppers/treats. Honestly I want to try something new. I want to give my cat different toppers/treats since I only give him frozen chicken hearts, duck, and quail egg. Is there any good brands for cat toppers/treats I can easily find on Petco, chewy, and Amazon? I would very much appreciate your help!

So for past 4 years I have been feeding my two cats their bedtime snacks at exactly 12am and to keep myself reminded I set up an alarm for it.

It used to be the default iphone ringtone but soon after I realized they got conditioned to it and would get overly excited during the day when I get a phone call.

I then followed some guides to decondition them. I desensitized them to the ringtone by playing it a lot.

So like 1 year ago I changed the sound to play Michael Jackson’s smooth criminal thinking it’s fine because even if they get conditioned I don’t listen to it much.

However my neighbors recently moved in and this guy blasts smooth criminal a lot and quite loud. I already talked to him about the volume and he has since turned down the volume to the point I can’t hear it but my cats still can. So they would get randomly triggered and I would have no idea and after checking with my neighbors it’s definitely him.

Now I cannot really tell him to turn it down even lower because that would exceeds courtesy and that song is one of his favorites.

I tried to de-condition with the desensitization trick but somehow it doesn’t work with this song. If I play smooth criminal all day they are excited all day and constantly yelling for treats.

I am at a loss here. Please help

A long story short, I am very stressed and worried.
My boy is 13, and also diabetic/insulin resistant so he doesn’t feel good some days. He’s also very anxious the second I am not around, attached to my hip. I’ve been almost a 24 hour caregiver to him for years now.
We’re moving, have a couple weeks to do it. Worried about all the stress he is going to have because stress makes sugar levels worse.
We’re moving from an apartment to a house, and he’s never been in a house before either.
Now looking for opinions on this; We have a one day trip on Saturday October 17th, next weekend. Should we move him and all of our belongings this week, and it gives him a week to adjust before we leave for a day? Or move everything after the one day trip?
He usually is not himself for a couple days after we leave even for a day as well. We have to be completely done moving by the 30th

If we moved this week, my wife would be at home with him all week until the day we leave since she’s on vacation from work. If we move after our trip, we will both be actively working with him at home alone more.