I think I like to drink sodas, lemonades, and juices (all sweet drinks) as a kind of stim, but I don't want to overdo it on sweets or acidic, carbonated drinks. Has anyone found any tasty (doesn't strictly need to be sweet) drinks that they can sip on all day that are healthy or at least not unhealthy?
Does anyone else notice that masking heavily affects their gender? Im afab, and I identify as gender queer. When I'm masking, I present female, but when I'm not, I lean male identifying. Its pretty night and day to be honest, just me?
Hi, I'm autistic/ADHD and am living in a northern Canadian community where it snows/is very cold for more than half the year. I've been struggling to find ways to exercise that I can maintain and could use some suggestions.
I often find gym environments to be way too overstimulating/overwhelming and can struggle to keep up with exercise classes due to audio processing delays... Ideally it would also be fun so I'm actually inclined to do it. Any suggestions would be helpful, I'm feeling stuck thinking the gym or workout classes are the only option.
How do other autistics keep fit? What sort of activities do you do?
I’m 34F with very long hair. My hair is a big part of my identity (other redheads will get it) and cutting it is NOT an option. Ever since I was a child, I’ve hated wearing my hair down. It’s always been braided or in a ponytail or a bun. I hate the feeling of it on my neck, I hate when it gets in my face, I hate that it makes me hot… it’s just a sensory nightmare for me. My hair is very thin and fine, so that makes it even harder to control. I want to be able to wear my hair down! I want to try new hairstyles! Sometimes I can manage a half-up style if I’m wearing something like a fleece pullover that has a thick collar because then I can’t feel my hair on my neck. I feel like a cartoon character with the same hairstyle every day.
My 2 yo son is autistic and non verbal. I’m curious to hear from autistic adults, what helped most when you were a child? Which therapies, going to school, social things? I would just like to hear from people who actually lived it and not parents who think they know. Thanks.
I just wanna know if other people have this experience lol.
I’m 28 and for 18 years special interest has been anime, and my current hyperfixation is One Piece. If a coworker starts talking to me about anime I get really sweaty and stumble over my words, and if I see One Piece merch while out shopping I feel like I need to hide or go outside or something? What is the meaning of this 😭
Hey all! Hope you're doing well.
I study a language (Russian) as part of my degree, and I've found that honestly it makes SO much sense to my brain. Russian is a language that follows patterns way more than other European languages, so as someone who's autistic, it's basically straight pattern recognition. A good 90% if the time, I recognise a word because I can tell its root in Latin or Greek, and relate it to English or German.
It also helps that Russian has very different rules for what is deemed 'polite'. It's a very blunt and to the point language, which as someone who is that way myself, I REALLY appreciate. For example the polite form of 'May I have some milk, please' translates to 'Give me milk,' in Russian.
I was talking to my dad, who is very similar to me (and in the process of being diagnosed in his 50s), and he is the same, except with Latin. Something about those two languages just 'click' for us. My other non autistic family members don't really do languages, my sister particularly.
I was wondering if anyone else has the same about languages? I just find it so fascinating. The pattern recognition I have because of autism makes it so much easier for me than my peers haha
Hey everyone! I've recently been told that I'm very likely autistic, by my therapist who I've been going to for over 3 years - and who is very experienced with autism. We've spent two sessions so far going over everything from childhood to adulthood, and it's just very clear at this point.
At first I wasn't sure I wanted to pursue an official diagnosis. Mostly because I'm transgender, and that being on my medical records already puts me at a high risk of being mistreated by medical staff (especially so since in a live in a state whose government openly doesn't like trans people). I fear an autism diagnosis in my records on top of that, would just compound the problem.
But now I'm spiraling. My therapist finally confronted me about this bc I started very obviously having autistic burnout after I had surgery for the first time a month and a half ago. And I'm worried that if I experience burnout when my parents are no longer around to support me, that I may end up homeless in the future if I don't have a diagnosis to claim benefits.
I'm also struggling a lot thinking about the people who are particularly rude about being unofficially diagnosed, despite the fact that some people DO have other risk factors for medical mistreatment on top of autism.
The thing is that my state does require an autism diagnosis at any age to be reported to the state government. Which I still fear, and might still keep me from seeking the diagnosis, bc I don't want to risk losing access to my testosterone prescription (I'm FTM and testosterone is a controlled substance). But I've heard that I don't have to put a diagnosis on my medical record if I don't want to? Is this true in all US states? Can I just go to a private practice assessment, get a diagnosis, and hang onto it for as long as I need to without them contacting my doctor?
Any info or resources are appreciated.
Since forever, I have hated being in a hot kitchen. I hate the heat that comes from ovens when you open the door.
I want to have hot food. I want to make it myself. But I just feel like crying and screaming with how kitchens can get and just ovens in general. I’ve tried opening windows, using the oven fans, making easy food on the stove. But I still get overwhelmed.
Does anyone else experience this? Any tips for managing it?
I (male) have an adversarial relationship with my sexuality. Not that I’m in the closet or anything, it’s more than when I look back on things, I really can’t think of a time where experiencing sexual attraction to someone actually did anything good for me, and I can think of many times where it has just made me feel like a living contradiction of a person. That goes for romantic attraction too. So I was considering talking to my doctor about getting a testosterone blocker so I could maybe be happier with just being myself. I’d like to know if anyone else has done this and what the results are.
I’m not gonna do anything without medical approval. I’m not asking for any dosages or specific medicines by the way.
The reason why I am asking this is because there is an idea amongst a lot people who come across autistic people and them along other neurodivergent people are thought of as having rich inner lives. So I would like to get some perspectives from fellow autistics on what does having rich inner lives mean to you guys? Sorry I hope I don’t make anyone uncomfortable with this question.
Hey,
I'm here to ask for advice but first I feel like explaining the situation is pretty important. Not to justify myself but to get my headspace a little more but again not to excuse it.
Our friendship was mostly long distance but recently I went to her and her boyfriends apartment.
I had the time of my life there. I never felt so much love and friendship before, I truly felt so open and finally free. I thought I made the friends for life.
Then the vacation was over and I completely crashed. I've been mostly isolated all my life so going from such a massive peak to such a drop again was quite heavy.
I've been told by her that I can rant or vent in her messages whenever I need it, so I did but at that time I didn't really understand why I was feeling the way that I did so my first instinct was sadly and this is completely my fault and I should've given my emotions more time but I started putting the blame on some new guy that joined the friendgroup (edit: I also have a pretty terrible toxic trait where I always get mad when my close friends get new friends idk how to help it) and she couldn't take it she couldn't talk to me at that moment. I should've respected that but I for some reason couldn't my emotions felt so big that I could only think about myself and didn't care about anyone else's feelings. She even told me "I need some time and space right now" and I couldn't handle it at all I started for the next couple of days texting everyone in our friendgroup about it but no one answered not a single person. So my emotions only started building up and building, I started texting more deleting messages when i calmed down again, but i texted more after, i started sending very self centered voice messages talking about MY feelings and not ever considered hers and her friendgroup but at that moment I felt betrayed that no one could even explain anything to me or update me but I now realize that she already told me what I should do and it's take distance and let her breath.
Her boyfriend completely lashed out on me, other friends blocked me.
She told me that we won't be friends like this probably ever again.
I'm completely heartbroken and I can't believe I let my emotions win over this much. I started throwing up everyday cause of the stress I started taking painkillers to try and numb the anxiety.
I can't imagine the amount of shame she felt about all of this coming from her so called "best friend" I feel so terrible for the damage I've caused and so insanely sad I lost the only people I've ever felt truly close and comfortable with. I completely destroyed the peace she had with her friendgroup and boyfriend. I made all of them uncomfortable with my spamming and oversharing messages.
I was being called controlling which is completely true but wasn't my intention but I realize I still did what I did regardless and should've thought more carefully about what I was doing.
So my main questions is: How can I next time handle a situation like this better? I know what I should've done but I have 0 clue how I can handle the amount of stress my body went through during this situation.
Also I tend to get attached too much to people that I feel REALLY good around. To the point where it gets kind of creepy and too intrusive.
If I sound like an asshole throughout this whole thing please let me know and sorry if my english is slightly sloppy and if my sentences are all over the place my mind is a bit of mess atm.
Thank you for reading and taking the time to respond.
Oh my god it's CONSTANT. Every time I recount a story to my mother where I'm frustrated with someone, it's always "don't be rude to them".
Earlier today I was reading aloud a text conversation I was having with a professional to arrange an appointment, and he kept changing the time. It was no biggie, just a miscommunication between us, but a little annoying nonetheless. Only response I get from my mum is "make sure you aren't rude to him". I get that from her multiple times a week. It's like she can't trust me to hold a normal, polite conversation with someone. It makes me feel like I must be some antisocial nasty person, even though when I read my messages/recall my conversations I know I am being exceptionally polite. I usually end up saying please/thank you/sorry excessively to make up for the fact I could be being rude (even though I'm not). It's completely unwarranted. And when I finally brought up that it bothered me? "You don't need to make such a big deal!"
So, I'm still new to this autistic journey of self discovery. I was diagnosed about a year ago.
And I've been reading books and trying to educate myself on autism and masking and unmasking, and something I keep coming against is all this, in theory. Sounds wonderful. Just be yourself around those you love, but I'm a parent of 2 kids under 6.
Background: I'm in charge of all the meals. All the school drop-offs, of the entertainment before and after school, dishes and cleaning. While my wife handles meal (dinners only) planning, grocery shopping, coordinating schedules, play dates, activities, and parties.
So I guess my question is this. How do I not burn out every single day? Have time for my kids. My hobbies, things that distress me. And help me recover and have time in energy to be a good husband to my wife, like planning date nights and activities and not feel like she's dragging me along to everything. Like im at a point where I Wana curl up in a ball in a dark room for several days, build Lego and have no one need me to wipe their butt or make their lunch or get dressed, meanwhile my love, my wife, needs and wants love and attention too, but my cup has been empty, for years.
I've always felt like an outcast. People look at me weird because I say weird things and act oddly.
Which is fine or what we, but... I just feel so alone. I just need one goos friend I can trust, then I don't care what people think, but it's so hard when everyone looks at me like I've got something wrong with me.
How do you make friends?
I’ve read a lot about other people’s experiences with meltdowns but i haven’t seen much discussion about shutdowns
Personally I rarely have meltdowns, it takes very certain triggers for that to happen and I’ve developed enough tools and routines to prevent it. But I’m beginning to realize that I more likely have shutdowns instead which from what have been described to me works as an internal meltdown.
It begins with my coordination worsening and my mind starts feeling very dull and foggy, then everyday tasks takes a lot more effort to get through and conversations becomes really stressful cause I can’t seem to process anything they’re saying. Naturally I become aware of this pretty quickly and try to isolate myself until it passes but most times it happens when I’m out in public or at work etc, so I try yo push myself through which only makes me feel worse.
Being a high masker and becoming overstimulated or triggered into a shutdown feels like the mask being forcefully ripped off my face and suddenly I’m no longer human. I picture myself as a wild animal trapped in a small cage, just a single poke with a stick away from going feral. Does that make any sense?? It’s hard for me to describe it any better than this I’m afraid, I’ve just never talked about it with anyone who might understand before
Would it be wrong for me to wear a shirt to the gym that says, “please don’t talk to me I am autistic?”
I’m 47yo gay verbal autistic male
Prepare to be pissed. The cast is not paid. The music is for children and bumbling puppies they use for grown adults. Answer cast especially gets less dignity for those who were following the producers expectations for longer (they get more childish music). One of the cast members who is a beautiful soul and a great person (Tanner is such a strong positive person) gets his voice attached to DOG VIDEOS. And might I add the cast DIDNT GET PAID???
They also give more attention to the family members than the actual cast themselves. And since they aren't being paid despite it being more like reality tv that means they are more wealthy. Whereas people all over the world with little to no money get no representation or support. They are also talked about more than they are talked to. Even family members talk about them on camera in front of them (imagine your family making fun of you having a meltdown in the store after not getting the food you wanted even though you went through a horrible breakup with a narcissist and now you have zero energy to mask and that used without the full story on purpose on camera for clicks likes and ratings).
The love stories are cute but the editing is horrible awkward silences strategically created where there may have been none and long hours of shooting which is exhausting for anyone only for awkward and infantilizing shots being taken and used instead of the most flattering beautiful moments only.
This isn't just some mild mess up. This is an assault to autistic adults everywhere. Shows like these need to be called out. The more I educate myself on autism and listen to real autistic adults plus my experience and looking at my dad (he was toxic but still) I get more and more infuriated. We deserve respect. I'm sorry but no 33 year old grown adult who happens to be auristic should be getting an "aww " from a 21 year old. Absolutely not. As a woman nearly 32 I don't need a youngster to watch over me like a toddler when IM the one who should be responsible for the younger adult. These shows create dynamics where grown adult autistics are treated like babies especially by younger family members and peers (I'm not agist but experience is experience).
We need to reject this shit
Apparently overheating easily is an autistic trait. Does anyone have any experience or advice for overheating in bed at night.
I'll wake up between 2 and 4 every morning and it's tough to get back to sleep since it will take 10 minutes or so to cool down.
Excuse my typo btw, I'm not an English native.
I was diag autistic 4 years ago (I'm an adult in my 30's), and I feel like I would not have a normal life, like having someone who loves me and stuff. I feel like if I die tomorrow, nobody would care because I'm not interresting and too ugly to live. I was told many times I was ugly and 2/10, like too ugly and being autistic, it makes it even harder. My relationships life is empty without any surprise.
I feel like if tomorrow I disappears nobody would care. Or even more, they would be happy because I feel like a nuisance for everyone. They might prefer someone less autistic, more social, someone who have Netflix and who loves Stitch from Disney.
I'm not important for everyone, I'm like the third wheel for everyone. Each time a friend has a new relationship, I'm discarded. And even if I want to date, to find someone to love, it would not going back because I'm too ugly and weird for relationships. There is always people better than me, more interresting and more useful. If I'm not useful, then I would count for nobody.
Do you also struggles about this fate of dying alone and forgotten by all?