u/Doomtime104

I'm early into my burnout recovery journey after self diagnosing about a month ago (although my psychiatrist has informally diagnosed me with ADHD with a formal assessment scheduled). I'm working through the Autistic Burnout Workbook, which has so many great ideas about things I can do to get through my burnout.

To avoid overwhelming myself, I want to pick just two or three things to focus on first, and then I'll make other adjustments as time goes on. The thing is, I don't really know which things I should focus on first or which would be most beneficial for me. I know one of the things I intend to work on is boundaries around my professional workload and the chore load I put on myself. I'll then use that time I've gained back for myself to rest and recover from my day. Beyond that, though, I'm not sure which other things I should focus on.

What tweaks to your life did you find most beneficial and would recommend to someone who's starting out on their adult AuDHD journey? Do you know of any good ways to determine what things I may, personally, most need?

I'm early into my burnout recovery journey after self diagnosing about a month ago (although my psychiatrist has informally diagnosed me with ADHD with a formal assessment scheduled). I'm working through the Autistic Burnout Workbook, which has so many great ideas about things I can do to get through my burnout.

To avoid overwhelming myself, I want to pick just two or three things to focus on first, and then I'll make other adjustments as time goes on. The thing is, I don't really know which things I should focus on first or which would be most beneficial for me. I know one of the things I intend to work on is boundaries around my professional workload and the chore load I put on myself. I'll then use that time I've gained back for myself to rest and recover from my day. Beyond that, though, I'm not sure which other things I should focus on.

What tweaks to your life did you find most beneficial and would recommend to someone who's starting out on their adult AuDHD journey? Do you know of any good ways to determine what things I may, personally, most need?

I'm going through a recent process of self-discovery that has lead me to believe that I'm autistic (and also ADHD, yay!), and I've been looking for ways to connect with others like me. Social media can only give you so much connection, and so I'm interested in whether there's any places/groups in the Cedar Rapids area where I can meet people for support, for recommendations, and to just meet more people who are likely to get me. I'm open to anything ranging from a more formal support group, where neurodivergence is the focus, to something more social and informal, where it's more just a place where a bunch of us neurodivergents tend to congregate.

Also, are there any good online groups, subreddits, Facebook groups, or forums for local neurodivergents to connect?

Being a bit of an introvert, it might take me some time to build up the courage to actually make it in person, but I can at least start putting the feelers out there!

I've recently been in an emotional funk that I think is fueled in large part by a very gut-wrenching story I read. For days now, I've found myself in a kind of existentialist, emotional funk along with a lot of grieving for the characters' pain in the book. It's then caused me to become really introspective about a lot of other things going on in my life, which leads to more emotional turnover. Thinking back on it, I do feel that I've connected on a very emotional level with many pieces of fiction/media across my life, written and visual. I seem to really often internalize their pain and struggles and turn it over and over in my head. My wife has coined it the Scissorhands Funk, because the first time she really noticed it was after showing me Edward Scissorhands for the first time.

Has anyone else found they've had similar experiences? Do you think that's something we feel more strongly than more neurotypical folks, or is that more just a sign of the quality of the piece of media that it can connect at such a deep level?

PS the work is Hyperion, the Scholar's Tale: IYKYK. Please no spoilers as I haven't finished the book yet!

I'll admit that I'm very early on in my journey with understanding my autism, so I write this post with a lot of ignorance. I just recently self diagnosed at 30, with a formal evaluation scheduled for next month. Over the past year or so, I've been dealing with a slow build-up of burnout that came to a head and forced me to take disability leave for a month, and I return to work soon.

Just prior to that burnout coming to a head and my leave, my wife and I had begun the discussion of starting a family. That's obviously on hold right now as we work to understand me better, but I also realize that we've got biological clocks ticking. I do believe that I still want children, but I believe that my relationship with that desire is much different now. I'm especially concerned about the demands of parenthood causing me to continuously burn out. I also fear that, with autism being generally hereditary, I'll be bringing someone into the world with my same struggles or maybe even more so.

For those who are parents, how do you manage the demands of parenthood and balance it with your own needs? Have you found you've had to sacrifice certain things out of your own life in order to take on the responsibility, and if so, how did you decide what to give up? What advice would you have for me or what resources would you recommend, so I can best prepare myself and explore this desire I have to raise a family?

I've been reading Hyperion for the first time and enjoying it a lot more than I thought I would. A few day's ago, I got to Sol's recounting of his life, and I've found myself absolutely emotionally wrecked by his story and what Rachel and her parents went through. I got as far as when Sol speaks to the Rabbi for the first time about his dream when I had to put the book down for bed. For me, I think I'm pained at the thought of horrific rediscovery Rachel has to go through day after day after day, the fact that Sol and Sarai have to re-live and comfort their daughter through that trauma Rachel faces each day, and then the slow deconstruction of a beautiful, flourishing, promising life.

I so desperately want to finish the story and the rest of the book, because the whole thing is so good, and I desperately hope that Rachel will be healed of her curse. I'm too afraid to pick the book back up, though, because I know there's going to be more gut-wrenching pain to get through, and based on the book so far, I'm guessing that this isn't going to be a story with an ending where everyone has their wishes fulfilled and live happily on.

As an update, I finished the chapter just a minute ago. All I can do is sit alone and sob.

My spouse and I are having a hard time breaking into any of the groups at our church, and so we're looking to find a new church home where we don't have to fight to get into any cliques. While we're not necessarily searching for a congregation of all young people, it does seem that a lot of the congregations in the area are skewed heavily to the older generations, and we wouldn't have all that many people to relate to. Are there any churches in the area that you feel are good fits for adults on the younger side who don't yet have any kids?

Up until now, I've been making canopy masks by hand, which is a rather tedious process I'd rather pay to skip at this point. To save on shipping, I'd like to make a bulk purchase of all the masks I'd need for all the kits in my current stash. The only place I've found so far that has all the masks I'd want is Eduard's website, but shipping from them is $48 (more than the masks themselves cost).

For those in the US, where do you like to buy your canopy masks? None of the hobby stores near me sell any, so I think I'll need to get mine online.

I've recently discovered at 30 years old that I'm likely AuDHD (autism and ADHD), and I'm on a huge self discovery journey to restructure my life so as to embrace that and fulfill the unique needs I have. I'm fairly high functioning and require very little support day-to-day, but I for sure know that I need time to myself to unmask and decompress. The challenge/conflict I feel trapped in that is that, at least at the churches in the US I've been going to my whole life, I've felt like extroversion was the only valid way to grow in faith. Everything was in some way a social activity: social get-togethers, group Bible studies, missions trips, men's retreats. In college, the ministry I participated in was (rightly) extremely focused on campus outreach and bringing new people in. While I do appreciate and recognize my need for connection to a larger church community, I found all of these social-focused church activities to be a constant drain.
I think I've come to associate this exhaustion with religion more generally, so it's hard for me to engage with the Bible on my own; I think I used up all my "church energy" already by the time I'm home and could be looking at my Bible. On the flip side, I also don't want to become entirely disengaged from the church and read the Bible alone forever. I believe it's critical that all people, of all social inclinations, have some level of connection with their local church family.
Those who are neurodivergent and, like me, need alone time to unmask and recover, how do you engage in your faith and with your church community? How do you communicate your unique needs to your church family? How do you incorporate your own personal faith time into the family faith time?

I'm coming to the end of my month long leave from work to deal with burnout. I know I'm not nearly recovered, but I do feel that I'm ready to return to work and the routine (and in my case, financial security) that brings. My spouse and I, along with my therapist, are working on setting up boundaries that I'm going to stick to in order to prevent work and the demands of life from taking me over again. The plan is to also return to work with intermittent FMLA in place and working reduced hours for a period of time.

The thing I'm now finding as I build these schedules and think about enforcing boundaries is that I'm resenting the restrictions that autism has placed on me. I feel like I'm less capable of a person, because I need more time to recover and need to recover in a way that feels like it cuts me off from the world. What's even more stupid is how much I genuinely enjoy "doing nothing". My hobbies are video games, model building, reading, and journaling, and I love doing those things so much! But I feel this internal pressure that I need to be social and get out like everybody else does. I think I hate the feeling of being the outsider. There's also a number of general chores (lawn care, DIY home care) that I've had to cut back on. I think I hate the feeling of being the outsider.

While I truly believe the schedule we're building to give me the breaks and alone time I need are beneficial, I'm so torn up inside about how much other things I think I need to do that I feel like I'm sacrificing.

I'm coming to the end of my month long leave from work to deal with burnout. I know I'm not nearly recovered, but I do feel that I'm ready to return to work and the routine (and in my case, financial security) that brings. My spouse and I, along with my therapist, are working on setting up boundaries that I'm going to stick to in order to prevent work and the demands of life from taking me over again. The plan is to also return to work with intermittent FMLA in place and working reduced hours for a period of time.

The thing I'm now finding as I build these schedules and think about enforcing boundaries is that I'm resenting the restrictions that autism has placed on me. I feel like I'm less capable of a person, because I need more time to recover and need to recover in a way that feels like it cuts me off from the world. What's even more stupid is how much I genuinely enjoy "doing nothing". My hobbies are video games, model building, reading, and journaling, and I love doing those things so much! But I feel this internal pressure that I need to be social and get out like everybody else does. I think I hate the feeling of being the outsider. There's also a number of general chores (lawn care, DIY home care) that I've had to cut back on. I think I hate the feeling of being the outsider.

While I truly believe the schedule we're building to give me the breaks and alone time I need are beneficial, I'm so torn up inside about how much other things I think I need to do that I feel like I'm sacrificing.

I'm coming to the end of my month long leave from work to deal with burnout. I know I'm not nearly recovered, but I do feel that I'm ready to return to work and the routine (and in my case, financial security) that brings. My spouse and I, along with my therapist, are working on setting up boundaries that I'm going to stick to in order to prevent work and the demands of life from taking me over again. The plan is to also return to work with intermittent FMLA in place and working reduced hours for a period of time.

The thing I'm now finding as I build these schedules and think about enforcing boundaries is that I'm resenting the restrictions that autism has placed on me. I feel like I'm less capable of a person, because I need more time to recover and need to recover in a way that feels like it cuts me off from the world. What's even more stupid is how much I genuinely enjoy "doing nothing". My hobbies are video games, model building, reading, and journaling, and I love doing those things so much! But I feel this internal pressure that I need to be social and get out like everybody else does. I think I hate the feeling of being the outsider. There's also a number of general chores (lawn care, DIY home care) that I've had to cut back on. I think I hate the feeling of being the outsider.

While I truly believe the schedule we're building to give me the breaks and alone time I need are beneficial, I'm so torn up inside about how much other things I think I need to do that I feel like I'm sacrificing.

I'm recently discovering my autism and ADHD after a strong case of burnout. I'm not sure at this time if I have sensory issues or what they are, and so I'm torn on spending the money on a pair of ANC headphones.

I do generally find myself in noisy environments (like our basement has a dehumidifier perpetually running, and I work in a server room at work where there's perpetual droning of cooling fans), but I also find myself perpetually running YouTube videos or podcasts in the background. I think I've generally not struggled too much with the sounds, but I'm not sure if they're then lowering my tolerance for other stimuli.

For those who weren't sure about being overwhelmed by sounds, did you find that ANC headphones were beneficial?

I'm recently discovering my autism and ADHD after a strong case of burnout. I'm not sure at this time if I have sensory issues or what they are, and so I'm torn on spending the money on a pair of ANC headphones.

I do generally find myself in noisy environments (like our basement has a dehumidifier perpetually running, and I work in a server room at work where there's perpetual droning of cooling fans), but I also find myself perpetually running YouTube videos or podcasts in the background. I think I've generally not struggled too much with the sounds, but I'm not sure if they're then lowering my tolerance for other stimuli.

For those who weren't sure about being overwhelmed by sounds, did you find that ANC headphones were beneficial?

Pretty much what the title says: I got the standard size Flare Calmer, and I found they aren't big enough to stay securely in. I wore them while grocery shopping, and I constantly had to reseat them in my ears. I'm curious if there's some finagling you have to do in order to get them in right.

My wife and I are driving a few hours to the next state over to visit her family for the day tomorrow. I'm looking in to finding an L2 charger that we can plug into for the whole day to minimize the time we need to spend at L3 chargers on the drive back home.

What's the etiquette on hogging up an L2 charger for the better part of the day? There are some that are attached to or in the parking lots of businesses, and I feel I should respect that they intended those for customers to use for a short while. There are others that are in more public parking lots/garages. Some of those charge fees, but there's university ones that are outright free. None of these have a time limit, although some do incur a fee for idle time.

I'm scheduled with literally the only provider within 100 miles who does evaluations for adults and takes my insurance. I've read so many scary stories about dismissive evaluators (i.e. "You make eye contact, so you can't be autistic") or misdiagnoses, and I'm afraid I won't get a good diagnosis from them. I also almost certainly have ADHD, and I worry that's going to skew the evaluation as well. I looked up the provider, and all their website really said is that they ascribe to the Humanistic-Rogerian model, which doesn't mean a whole lot to me.
Is there anything I can do to prepare to make sure the evaluation is as accurate as possible? Are there any questions or comments I should try to bring up at the initial consultation/interview to try to express these concerns or provide better evidence of my (likely) autism?

I'm scheduled with literally the only provider within 100 miles who does evaluations for adults and takes my insurance. I've read so many scary stories about dismissive evaluators (i.e. "You make eye contact, so you can't be autistic") or misdiagnoses, and I'm afraid I won't get a good diagnosis from them. I also almost certainly have ADHD, and I worry that's going to skew the evaluation as well. I looked up the provider, and all their website really said is that they ascribe to the Humanistic-Rogerian model, which doesn't mean a whole lot to me.
Is there anything I can do to prepare to make sure the evaluation is as accurate as possible? Are there any questions or comments I should try to bring up at the initial consultation/interview to try to express these concerns or provide better evidence of my (likely) autism?

At 30, I'm starting to think that I'm AuDHD, and I'm trying to understand how I mask. I recently picked up journaling to help me process my thoughts, and I decided I was going to write my journal in cursive. I mainly made this choice because my print handwriting is pretty atrocious, and I wanted my journal to look nice.

I have to say that writing in cursive has felt so much more natural to me! I used to write everything in cursive up until 7th grade. I even remember the exact day in 7th grade science class when I quit: I had handed my assignment, written in cursive, to a classmate for peer feedback. They looked at my writing and asked, "Why are you writing in cursive?" in a tone that felt to me like clear judgment or disdain. It was almost immediately after that I quit writing anything in cursive up until now. I think I quit purely because I wanted to fit in.