r/adultautism

I was just diagnosed with ASD Level 1 today, and I’m not sure how to feel about it.

I’m 35, and already knew I was neurodivergent because I have ADHD and some other diagnoses…but this feels a little different, and I can’t really explain it.

I went through Prosper Health—so I had two 90 minute evaluation sessions and then the results session. I had to fill out forms and answer questions, and had to have two references fill out forms as well. I won’t have my full report for another two weeks though.

How was it for everyone else when they were first diagnosed?

Im not a very religious but person. I was raised catholic, but I would call myself more spiritual than anything now. But I was wondering if it was common for other adults with autism to struggle with prayer —> religion.
For example, one of the many things that pushed me away from it in the beginning was prayer. I am not good at language, I’m not good at coming up with some eloquent prayer in my head or out loud at times where it’s been asked in youth groups etc. and because I could never get it right (I know some people will say there is no right way, but to people in many denominations, if you can’t do it “right” you’re not “saved”) it just gave me more anxiety than anything else.

EDIT: This is Heavy-Escape’s fiancee, imagine an old stereo. You’re playing music on it, but the speakers aren’t connected. The music is there and active, but with no way to be heard since there are no connected outputs.

Hi everyone! You were all so kind and helpful with my question yesterday, so I hoped I could ask another one.
My fiancé (43M) was diagnosed with AuDHD later in life. One of the things he struggles with most is what he describes as not being able to “get his words out.”
He says he can clearly see or understand exactly what he wants to say in his mind, but when he tries to explain it, it’s like the connection just isn’t there. The same thing happens when he wants to write stories or design something. He has vivid ideas and can picture everything in his head, but turning those thoughts into words or creating them in the real world feels incredibly difficult.
It’s something that causes him a lot of frustration, and I hate seeing him struggle with it.
Does anyone else experience this? If so, what does it feel like for you? Have you found any strategies or tools that help you communicate your thoughts or get your ideas out more easily?
I’d really appreciate hearing about your experiences. Thank you!

Hi I'm a high functioning 26-year-old adult and me and my partner are looking at starting to try for a family and I have some questions.

-If you started trying how did you know you were ready not financially mentally physically emotionally.

-If you're an autistic adult that had a kid what is one thing that scares you that wasn't as bad as you realized.

- I also have severe sensory issues is there anyone that has dealt with that and have any advice or tips or tricks

- with my disabilities I will of course be informing my doctor I am most nervous for being taken as an ignorant or dramatic person does anybody have any advice for this

- is there any pregnancy symptoms that you have as an autistic person that not most pregnancies. Such as body changes or hormone changes or anything like that.

- for everyone if you started trying what is the thing that made you feel like you could handle this not that you got in the bag but that you will see that light at the tunnel as I say when it comes to actually being physically pregnant?

I’ve been doing biweekly for a while and my therapist is talking about dropping down to monthly but I’m not even sure if talk therapy is helping me because I think so logically there’s no “talking through irrational thought patterns” it’s more like “how do I cope through xyz symptoms” but not going stresses me out.

I know everyone’s needs are different I’m just curious.

Hi everyone,
My fiancé (43M) and I (39F) have been together for 18 years. For a long time, he’s clearly been struggling with his mental health. In 2014, he experienced a complete mental health breakdown and spent two weeks inpatient, where he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. However, neither of us ever felt that diagnosis truly fit.
Recently, he underwent a comprehensive psychological evaluation, and it’s now been confirmed that he has both Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and ADHD. In many ways, finally having answers has been a huge relief. It’s helping us understand his behaviors, emotional regulation, and some of the intense reactions and outbursts we’ve struggled with over the years.
At the same time, we’re realizing that we need to completely rethink how we communicate with each other. Misunderstandings seem to escalate quickly, and sometimes conversations become so emotionally intense that I have to step away because I become overwhelmed myself.
I’d really love to hear from people with lived experience—whether you’re autistic, have ADHD, or you’re the partner of someone who does.
What communication strategies have helped your relationship?
How do you handle emotional outbursts or shutdowns without making things worse?
How do you know when to give space versus trying to work through an issue?
Are there any books, podcasts, or other resources that helped you better understand each other?
I love him deeply, and after 18 years together, I want us to learn how to support each other in healthier ways. Any advice or personal experiences would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you for reading.

Sorry this is kind of long :)

Yesterday I was at my cousin’s wedding reception and was having a great time (there was around 300 people there but it didn’t really feel like it). I brought my ANC hearing aid earbuds since i’m severely noise sensitive and they helped a lot. I was dancing (mostly just stimming: jumping, flapping my arms, rocking, that looked like dancing) a lot (I love music) and by the end was the only one on the dance floor and stayed there pretty much all night, even if i was by myself. Some small groups of his friends would join me occasionally but they know i’m autistic so included me while also giving me space. On the last few songs, my cousin came up and the DJ let him wear the headphones and DJ the last few songs. Suddenly almost all his friends showed up and there was a crowd right around where I was dancing. My brain got SUPER fuzzy (my word for overwhelmed and overstimulated) and I went and sat down next to the DJ booth and started having a meltdown (rocking, putting my hands over my ears, crying, rubbing my hands on the carpet). My cousin (the sister of the one who’s party it was) came to check on me, but the best thing for me was when one of his friends came over, apparently he works with autistic people and knew exactly what to do to be with me: sat/crouched on the floor by me, still being close while not touching me, talked calmly, no expectations, let me respond how I wanted, gave me his hand to squeeze, didn’t force me to leave when i said no to him asking me to go outside (I felt like I couldn’t walk), which was SO nice.

Has this happened to anyone before? One minute, being totally fine and able to handle stimulation and the next minute, having a full on meltdown becuase you suddenly got overstimulated? Why does this happen?

I have recently been diagnosed with Autism level 1. Not diagnosed until my late 30s.
Now that I am diagnosed I keep paying attention to myself, as I am sure everyone does post diagnosis, and what I am finding is that most of my symptoms/tendencies seem to become very pronounced when I am stressed or anxious.
When I am in a good state like reading a book or getting a massage. I feel pretty average. I don’t really notice any of my autistic tendencies.
The exception I guess is if something has me excited. But I am not really sure as that feeling seems to have basically died for me.
What is everyone else’s experiences?

I've recently been in an emotional funk that I think is fueled in large part by a very gut-wrenching story I read. For days now, I've found myself in a kind of existentialist, emotional funk along with a lot of grieving for the characters' pain in the book. It's then caused me to become really introspective about a lot of other things going on in my life, which leads to more emotional turnover. Thinking back on it, I do feel that I've connected on a very emotional level with many pieces of fiction/media across my life, written and visual. I seem to really often internalize their pain and struggles and turn it over and over in my head. My wife has coined it the Scissorhands Funk, because the first time she really noticed it was after showing me Edward Scissorhands for the first time.

Has anyone else found they've had similar experiences? Do you think that's something we feel more strongly than more neurotypical folks, or is that more just a sign of the quality of the piece of media that it can connect at such a deep level?

PS the work is Hyperion, the Scholar's Tale: IYKYK. Please no spoilers as I haven't finished the book yet!

Hi all!!

I don’t have autism, I’m an adhd haver, but my partner is on the spectrum. He’s the love of my life, I adore him and I would never be without him. I want to propose to him, we’ve spoke about it before and we both want to get married, but I’m having trouble finding the perfect ring for him.

I want to keep all of his sensory needs in mind, and after speaking with him I know he would want a thin ring, one that sits flush to his finger and generally doesn’t feel like it’s there. The feel of silicone is a no go and I would love to get him something that reflects one of his special interests- those being bees and vikings/nordic history, but I’m aware that with a thin profile ring it would be hard to have any designs present.

Any suggestions would be amazing, I will find myself my ring at another time- his comfort is my priority here.

Hi, I've been seeing a therapist for roughly a month now for low mood/anxiety, and I have 6 free sessions and my last one is next week. This week she mentioned that she thinks I could be neurodiverse/autistic and that I show a lot of traits. She also, however, made it very clear that it was not a diagnosis and that she doesn't necessarily believe (?) in diagnosis because she thinks people can see it as their identity and hide behind it.

Since hearing that and reading some more into it, it feels like something has clicked, like it all makes sense now and it feels right.

I have had a hard time with being self-critical of myself, but since hearing that I might be autistic, it has eased the judgement that I have against myself and I have been a lot nicer and kind "you might be autistic, maybe that's why you do xyz, and that's ok" but then the other side of me is like it's not formally diagnosed so I can't use it as an excuse/explanation.

What I'm trying to get at is, should I speak to my therapist next week about possibly going down the route of getting diagnosed, even though she does not necessarily believe in it? I don't want her to be dismissive but I also think maybe she could help? Has anyone else been in this position? Would a diagnosis even be of help?

Thanks

Today's been a bad day for me and I don't know why.

I've felt completely overwhelmed today. My mom and I went shopping, and I went non-verbal and used my AAC to do most of my talking today. I've been feeling really unsettled, and my stims have been very prominent today—lots of arm, hand, and finger flapping.

I've had headphones on all day with calm music playing. When I bought some t-shirts in Primark and the lady asked if I wanted a bag, I went to say yes but couldn't, so I just did head nods instead and felt like I was close to bursting out crying. My mom asked what was wrong, and I couldn't tell her why, just that I needed a hug.

Anyone got coping strategies for days like this?

I’ve been job hopping lately. Tried a field that I ultimately am not socially capable of, and then another, and now I’m housekeeping. I just had my first day today.

The repeated days of following someone around, not knowing where to stand, when to follow/ when to not, how to make small talk for your entire shift, are wearing me down. I have been feeling like I’m just completely incapable of being in society. I despise interacting with people who aren’t my fiance. Little rejections bother me. I ask a lot of questions and am often met with annoyance or a tone like ‘…yeah? That’s obvious.’

I’m tired of it. Luckily this job should be mostly alone, I am just burnt out and feeling so rejected from coworkers and people in general. I am so overly nice and I think it makes people feel weird about me. That’s just how I learned to mask as a kid and save myself the rejection. Now it’s disingenuous and weird? The rules are changing as I age and I’m not keeping up. Struggling.

I always see other people being able to just take rest days but, for me, I feel guilty/stressed if I try to do that. I am constantly thinking about what I need to do next and/or what I have to get done on a daily basis. I’m not sure if this is related to being autistic or maybe it’s just a personal issue. My wife always says I try to do too much but I personally feel that I physically cannot stop doing things. I’m curious if anyone else deals with this issue constantly?

Surveys are going to continue to be pretty rarely approved.

Before you think: Hey, this is a good subreddit for my college related survey you should ask some questions.

1. Are you an undergraduate? If your answer is yes then the subreddit answer will be no.

2. Are you working on a professional (masters) or PhD level dissertation or thesis? If yes, continue. If no, stop.

3. Is your institution accredited and does it have an ethics board? If yes, continue. If no, stop.

4. Has your thesis or dissertation been approved by the entice board and your advisor? If yes, continue. If no, stop.

5. Is this a unique or nascent area of academic study and research or is it an adjustment to other people’s work with your spin on it (thereby fulfilling the letter of academic uniqueness)? If it’s unique or nascent or both, ask. Otherwise, you can ask but the answer will probably be no.

If by some stroke of luck or academic achievement you’ve crossed the threshold, to be considered you need to tell us what you’re studying. Where you’re studying. Who the advisor is. Whether or not you have approval from the ethics board AND the information to verify that. You need to provide enough information where your assertions as a real researcher can be verified and affirmed and only then will there be a yes/no answer given.

Conversely, if you post first and expect permission second or don’t bother to provide anything, your post will be deleted and the answer will be no.

Why these conditions? Thanks for asking.

First, if you’re an undergrad you’re not doing original work. Your work isn’t to benefit or help the autism community. And it’s most likely highly derivative and you’re collecting data to fulfill an assignment. Good luck. But not here.

Second, most autism related research asks the same questions over and over and over again. You’re too late if you’re trying to prove something. This is going to be true for the vast majority of people. This subreddit (and in my opinion Reddit in general) isn’t your data warehouse. Yes, you need your own data. No, your need is insufficient in relation to the needs of the community.

Third, you may think you’re the exception. A genius even. But, and this is important, even if you are, you’re not. Because people see: autism and then think they’ve got something to offer, want it to be their life’s work, whatever, doesn’t make what you’re doing even remotely new or unique or special. It’s just not.

Maybe this means we don’t get to help the next person doing amazing things in relation to autism research and therapy and diagnosis. That’s fine. Because, chances are, you’ll do a lot of clinic work and professional study long before you become that person.

Finally, you right now have the misfortune of being someone who’s hopped onto this autism wagon after it’s been flooded by request after request for these same surveys. Therefore, you now have to offer something new and unique. The very thing your institutions should demand and expect. And the mods do look into what you’re studying and the survey material.

Good afternoon to all whom the contents of this message may be of interest. I am a fourth year Griffith University psychology student who is conducting a study on the experiences of parents of autistic children currently living in Australia, if you would like to read a bit more below:

Are you the parent of an autistic child?

Researchers from Griffith University are looking for parents of autistic children living within Australia to engage in a short online survey (approximately 20-25 minutes) regarding their parenting experiences. We would really appreciate hearing this valuable information from you, if you are interested!

Our Goal

To gather information from parents of autistic children and their experiences in the role. Ultimately, we hope this information will be utilised to provide insight to and/or support the development of neuroaffirming care for autistic children 😊

If you wish to know more information about the study, or would like to proceed with the survey, please visit the following link: https://griffithuw.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_7TZVDS077sSq45g.

For any further queries or concerns, please contact student researcher Stephanie Davidson (stephanie.davidson@griffithuni.edu.au) or supervisor Dr Sarah Lee (sarah.jy.lee@griffith.edu.au).

This study has been approved according to Griffith University Ethics requirements under the following ethics ID: HREC/2026/0202.

I (F20) am stuck in burnout and I am seeking advice. For the past couple of months, I have been (stupidly) ignoring my needs in an attempt to balance my relationship, friendships, work, housework and family. I have only been allowing myself to rest once everything else is finished and sorted. I have always been a people pleaser and also very high masking so I push away my needs so I don’t inconvenience or burden others. I am stuck and I don’t know what to do from here at all. I have no motivation whatsoever, I cannot leave the house and I can hardly even leave my room due to the sensory overwhelm of lights and noises around my house. I have never been in a burnout this severe, and I was hoping I could get some advice in here. Please be kind, I know I have very much brought this onto myself and I am trying to find ways to accommodate my needs, but nothing really matters when I am as burnt out as this. Thank you if you read this far.

Hey i was recently diagnosed asd and adhd since my diagnoses ive been learning to unmask let my audhd freak flag fly when it comes to my stims (im a finger chewer and teeth picker so got some chew toys I keep around my neck, im also a arm and wrist flapper and body swayer and bouncer i also go completely non verbal if im very overwhelmed) i bought a audhd badge I keep around my neck in public and feeling more comfortable stimming in public with it on honestly, its honestly been life changing for me learning to not give a f*ck what people think about me and im feeling so much happier since my diagnoses.

I will need to go home in about an hour. Sitting here alone in my office, its quiet and I don't have people talking to me. I don't have to mask here. But when I go home, I will have to put my mask back on. Over the weekend, I had a long-ish discussion with my wife about how she thinks im overplaying the whole AuDHD thing and she does not like it.

I just want to be able to feel the feelings behind realizing I am AuDHD because I have been told I could not feel my entire life. Apparently she does not like it when I do that.

I love my wife, but I do not want to go home if I have to mask for her. I would rather just stay in my office and sleep on the floor. But I have responsibilities at home I cannot neglect.