u/cautiously-curious65

Im audhd and very firmly masked. I was diagnosed as adhd 11 years ago and autistic ~6 months ago. I am 34.

Ive driven past this place for years, and by the time i get home to search it i forget it exists..i pull in and go in with great intent.

I walk in, thinking that there would be the entire range of ASD individuals supported at this place… like, there would be people with high needs and people like me who just need a coffee hour or something to bitch about how their husbands light bulb choices caused the fight over which color curtains to get and how that caused you to go off the handle and you said something you shouldnt have.. and how do we manage that….a day program for higher needs, and a later program for lower needs.

So, i walk in. Most people seem to need a lot of support. Totally fine. I ask, “who works here?” And they identify themselves. I tell them my story about how im recently learning how to unmask and it’s so hard to put it back on. And im saying that i dont quite vibe with a lot of the energy around how people treat autistic people.. and i am wondering if there was a late diagnosis, adult audhd or autism groups here?….. and they walk me to the fuckin director.. and im now in a whole job interview..

The carer literally said “hes looking for a job”.. and i was like.. is that what you got from that? ..oh this is now an interview.. i am wearing dirty pants, nothing is right, everything is wrong.

Im like.. i came here for support, why are we discussing this? Also, how is your carer just surprising a person with a full-on job interview who said theyre autistic? I am a walk in asking what support and services you provide…

I mean.. im also looking for a job, but not right at this damn moment. Also i am struggling .. i came to you asking for help.. …and your sign is very misleading..im doing all the things a late diagnosed person does..

This is a rant.

Again, i am amazing at masking and bottling stuff up which is not healthy and is usually directed to people i love when i “release”. THATS what i came here to talk about. Not for an interview cuz i look “normal”.

I have hundreds of songs I love and videos I love… and it’s what helps me wind down.

I can tell you all about them, but “favorite video ever?” and I’m like.. direct me..

what’s my headspace? What language? Genre? Music style? Breathy song? Full voice? Melodic? What’re we talking here?

Anyway, I recently had a stressful experience and I put on MY calming playlist and they hear from my headphones turned up to 1000% metal, hardcore, RnB, country, soca and every other genre..

I’m trying to keep this short for audhd’ers like me.. but what’s your experience?

TLDR: noise cancelation, transparency, AND directional conversation boosting for hearing issues? Is that a thing?

So, I have a very old set (like, when they first came out) or airpod pros.. I really liked the seamlessness, noise cancellation, transparency mode, ability to track down, sound quality that they had at the time, because they were cutting edge at the time.

I also sleep in them.. so.. this is partially why I’m writing this at 3:30am.

I got them before I was even diagnosed, and I did not quite realize how important they were for my ability to re-mask in social situations. Go to the bathroom or grab a cigarette, headphones in, 3 minutes and I’m good. Now that I’m diagnosed, re-masking is hard as fuck. I’m really panicking here about how I’m going to survive this weekend.

Anyway, I lost one headphone..this model only allows you to ping it to make a sound for the first 24 hours. And we’re going on 36. You can also only track the headphones, not the case. They’re also 7 years old. The battery is very tired. The auto-off when you take them out of your ears was also starting to not work. And they would just start playing INSIDE the case.. like, it’s time for a replacement. Sleep, my child. Thank you for your service.

Ideally, all the things we usually need, noise cancelling, comfortable, discrete, good sound quality, etc.

The one feature I’m not seeing discussed is that conversation boosting is something that sounds appealing to me. I have a lot of trouble focusing on a single sound or conversation as I’m technically AuDHD. I can listen to and process like, 3 conversations at the same time.. this sounds lovely, until you’re in a restaurant or something. And you’re doing it for like a whole day. I also have slight hearing loss when it comes to sounds in front of me.. My eye and ear nerves are.. not quite ideal.

So, I’ll be looking at someone, and seeing their lips move, and hearing the next conversation over. And in order to pick out that specific person I’m talking tos conversation, I need to read their lips. Funnily enough, I typically hear things better at my 8 o’clock…but it depends on pitch as well.. I’ve actually always turned my head nearly backwards if I need to listen to something important.

My husband is sleeping with a movie playing on his phone at a whisper, and I can hear it clearly, and the tv infront of me is blasting and I can barely hear it.. so something directional would be lovely.

AirPods Pro 3 offer that feature, but, it’s been around long enough that other brands likely have some options.

Also, “conversation boosting”..is it directional?

My husbands family also only speaks German, so the live translation feature in the AirPods Pro 3 SOUNDS great.. but, like.. am I just better using Google translate and reading captions? Or is this life changing?

Thoughts? Feelings? Recommendations?