u/QueenOfMadness999

Prepare to be pissed. The cast is not paid. The music is for children and bumbling puppies they use for grown adults. Answer cast especially gets less dignity for those who were following the producers expectations for longer (they get more childish music). One of the cast members who is a beautiful soul and a great person (Tanner is such a strong positive person) gets his voice attached to DOG VIDEOS. And might I add the cast DIDNT GET PAID???

They also give more attention to the family members than the actual cast themselves. And since they aren't being paid despite it being more like reality tv that means they are more wealthy. Whereas people all over the world with little to no money get no representation or support. They are also talked about more than they are talked to. Even family members talk about them on camera in front of them (imagine your family making fun of you having a meltdown in the store after not getting the food you wanted even though you went through a horrible breakup with a narcissist and now you have zero energy to mask and that used without the full story on purpose on camera for clicks likes and ratings).

The love stories are cute but the editing is horrible awkward silences strategically created where there may have been none and long hours of shooting which is exhausting for anyone only for awkward and infantilizing shots being taken and used instead of the most flattering beautiful moments only.

This isn't just some mild mess up. This is an assault to autistic adults everywhere. Shows like these need to be called out. The more I educate myself on autism and listen to real autistic adults plus my experience and looking at my dad (he was toxic but still) I get more and more infuriated. We deserve respect. I'm sorry but no 33 year old grown adult who happens to be auristic should be getting an "aww " from a 21 year old. Absolutely not. As a woman nearly 32 I don't need a youngster to watch over me like a toddler when IM the one who should be responsible for the younger adult. These shows create dynamics where grown adult autistics are treated like babies especially by younger family members and peers (I'm not agist but experience is experience).

We need to reject this shit

As a 32 year old woman (still no diagnosis but I feel I understand it in my bones aside from the many childhood traits from birth till now my dad's behavjors and my current behaviors plus tons of autistic people recognizing me as their own) I remember my high school days and 20s as a SpongeBoby fun hypersexual girl who got to enjoy being fun and funny even though her family was full of dysfunction. But now alot of my life has been drained and aside from heavy weight lifting I've been burnt out with very little energy left for social and mental pursuits.

I see this alot in autistic people. They start out however, maybe nerdy, maybe sensory seeking, maybe loud and excited or maybe quiet and grounded, maybe alternative but still resilient. Then something happens and I believe this is why people reach a serious slump (I don't want to go into details) in their 30s snd beyond and they just get this mental tiredness that wasn't there when younger.

I know that everyone gets frustrated and tired mentally as they age because of inflation and that life is much harder with all the pressures but there's a distinct loss of something autistic people experience as they age. Not a loss of innocence but a disillusion. I didn't understand what it was but now that I reached my 30s and I heavily relate to most autistic people's experiences I get it. And that's hardest part of watching autistic people age. Because no one deserves to reach that disillusionment. It's not a natural part of aging...

I'm aware that there are autistic folks who are primarily introverted in personality but introversion isn't an autism criteria. Autistic people before being disappointed and rejected can be some of the most affectionate or at least connection seeking individuals out there or at least equally to others although the social styles anr understandings are vastly different from neurotypicals.

I believe people say "autistic people prefer to be alone" as a way to shove under the rug (slang for "pretend it doesn't exist" for those of you whos English isn't your first language and you don't know English slang) the fact autistic people have tried to reach out connect and bond with others but was bullied rejected and had their spirits crushed. It's like a way to cope with the guilt of the lack of adequate inclusion.

I believe if autistic people were included and given a voice without experiencing bullying rejection and gaslighting while being pushed out of their own representation by others who demand to represent them for them there would be more autistic people engaging in socializing and not withdrawing. I believe society claims most if not all autistic people want to be alone as way ignore it's own involvement in making autistic people feel emotionally unsafe and sometimes physically too.

Anyone else think the idea passed around that "most autistic people prefer to be alone" is a crock of shit made up to excuse the ostracization of autistic people?

It took me nearly 32 years of searching for other explanations to finally fully accept this as facts. There's no other explanation for why other coworkers can slack or be slow or miss things and get no shit but you're doing your best even evolving as a working improving how management and senior coworkers suggest and you're STILL being targeted and told "you're still not getting it".

There comes a point in life where you realize being "perfect at your job" is completely useless. Unless you're in a life saving business or youre completely passionate trying harder to prove you're good enough is pointless.

And this is all over the world in the working world. I highly doubt this is different in European North American South American Asian and African countries and in Australia too. I highly doubt it's totally different necause of location .

First my advice is don't overwork yourself for no reason and secondly I'm curious how you guys handle this nonsense? Especially those of you 30s and older.

TRRIGGER WARNIIINGG ⚠️ ⚠️ ⚠️

The truth about why we end up becoming abuse victims is because we need at least one safe person. Especially as we age and leave our parents and all our friends have kids etc etc or we have kids etc etc we end up with less or even no friends. Especially those of us who are autistic. Therefore our safe person as an adult often is a romantic partner. Unfortunately this makes us prime targets for abuse because most of us have to have at least ONE anchor in order to feel safe in even some small way a world not made for us regardless of country or province (I believe this is true anywhere from a remote South Asian village to a large city in america). Abusers feed off of this.

Abusers arent like villains in the movies. They don't smile and laugh and sneer like villains most of the time and they aren't always NT either. They are usually deeply flawed weak fragile people who choose to use the most unintelligent base ways of communication to force you to fill a void in them they won't fix. They expect you to be eternally overflowing fountains of love and empathy because they blame their past of never receiving it for why they are the way they are and that they "need you". They are the people you feel sorry for and want to protect meanwhile they eat away at you because they refuse to seek healing or take accountability for their own actions. They refuse to get help and therefore try to force you through a mixture of tears fragility and violence or psych torture to fix them.

My advice is to listen to your gut. Don't feel bad for needing a safe person but PLEASE hold on tightly to the truth and listen to your gut. Even if it means being without a safe person for a while. This can be overwhelming if you have kids of course but even if you have to turn to an online presence like ASMR creators or something temporarily please turn to safe comforts that have no risks until you have vetted these people and your pattern recognition has had enough consistency to prove safety.

I realize it's very possible people can lie for years but you're in a much safer place if you are patient and push through a little longer until you have the RIGHT safe person that is actually safe. You deserve to have that. I figured I'd share this. Please be safe.

I've had this experience. I suspect heavily I'm autistic because I fit most of the dsm5 etc etc. Its a long story and it's not from social media. Anyways I've met multiple autistic people in my life some of which were serious about mistreating me (one threatened to plant drug paraphanallia on me from one of his druggie friends that left it behind when I said I was making a copy of the key for the place because him and his girlfriend were bullying me and took my key away which means they could lock me out forever despite him calling me his sister and helping me when I moved there because he said he had my back) and everyone tried to play it off like I was overreacting. Same shit happened with my ex with me. I knew Everytime that someone mistreated me who happened to be autistic was serious about it but never did anyone else see it.

I really wish people would be realistic and stop assuming someones too naive to be unsavory just cause they are autistic. Autistic people are just as capable as nonautistics to be fked up in a multitude of ways. Autism can change how they go about things but it doesn't mean that autistic people are forever infantile saints. Anyone who doesn't have an intellectual disability (which is a seperate diagnosis to autism) has the same mental age as their living age. And not everyone is a saint.

A person doesn't need to understand unwritten social rules to know right from wrong after a certain amount of time on the planet.

This isn't a dis to autistic people. I'm not insulting autistic people especially since there's a high likelihood I'm autistic myself so that would be hypocritical. However I think people need to stop pretending autistic people can't be hurtful or abusive too. And the part people don't think about is that nontoxic autistic people who are already vulnerable to falling prey to toxic people can easily fall prey to toxic autistic people due to the initial strong bond that comes with sharing the same neurotype.

Whether it's women who suspect they're autistic (many people who do often are but couldn't get a diagnosis) or are lucky enough to get diagnosed, everyone expects them to stretch themselves thin to appear extra nice and agreeable. Anyone who says this isn't true clearly isn't observing because this is a common thing I experience as someone who fits the dsm5 definition and has been pointed out by several other autistic people and share the experiences of alot of low support needs individuals (especially when it comes to stupid workplace politics and the rollercoaster experience of unspoken rules in friendships). I see men when it comes to emotionally misstepping (the only exception to this is in the romantic world because many autistic men have to heavily mask to pull a girl or they end up single or misread romantically) in the daily social interactions such as wearing headphones when making breakfast around family or roommates is tolerated much more than with women.

You don't see men as much being called ass holes for withdrawing socially so much but women will be called b-tches or "rude" for doing so even if it's to socially recharge and they have to mask explain or apologize to keep the peace and avoid backlash from authority figures like landlords or bosses.

As a 31 year old woman I realize even though it's necessary to play your cards right if you need certain favors (such as prorated rent if you are leaving in the middle of the month gave a months notice and aren't staying the whole of next month) , it's not worth performing. It's better to have that mild ego keep the boundaries and if you need to recharge or distance yourself and stop performing for any area in society you do that. Being called a b-tch isn't the worst thing in the world and maintaining a positive reputation isn't worth the mental burnout that comes with it.

And anyone who's mad at this post be mad because I'm not doing anything wrong here. I'm pointing out an unfair situation I observed exists there is no hidden meaning and I'm going to say things as I observe them to be because that is what this platform is for. For everyone else thanks for listening.

It's not a bad thing obviously but Im curious as a woman who has strong autistic traits (not officially diagnosed unfortunately but let's say autistic people recognize me as one of their own and I can also recognize other autistic people before they even tell me they have a diagnosis if they do) I'm not a man so I can't speak for the reason I can only surmise.

Not every autistic man I've met is all cutesy stuffed animal guys. In fact many I've met are either hyperlogical or so demand avoidant they will get in a fist fight (my dad,). I'm not a girlie girl but I have a cling wrap puppy personality that's all natural and I can't tell you how many times I've made even introverted guys or guys that don't like people or will fk someone up melt over my mannerisms. Many of these guys have strong autistic traits. But most of them either found me endearing or with partners or my dad found me so cute that they would coo aw and ah (my dad still had baby names for me up until my adult years). Most of these men didn't sleep with stuffed animals or get into cute stuff. And I don't dress like a baby or anything but I have a natural "puppish personality" so I've been told.

Is it just a random stereotype or is there something about adorableness that attracts autistic men whether romantically or endearingly?

(I'm not trying to say autistic men who are grown are interested in young women or girls. I don't want this to get taken that way)

Whether with a man or if I'm single after work I can be seen singing silly meow songs in a baby cartoonish voice for absolutely no reason other than I enjoy it and it's relaxing and amusing and I enjoy doing it when alone or with a safe person lol especially a partner. Either during shower time or laying down with my stuffed animals.

Just imagine dating me and living with me or sleeping over or being my friend sleeping over or hanging out overnight and hearing high pitch weirdo cartoon voice meow songs from the other room. Oh and I'm going to be a 32 year old woman next month. 😆 Me in my truest form.

First of all yeah okay maybe I'm a fraud. I feel like one but I have strong reasons to suspect I'm autistic and my roommate who is also autistic and other autistic people recognize me as one of their own right away. Also every autistic person I've ever known including my dad who has strong traits (he's a baby boomer so he was never diagnosed but he talked to a grown ass man and seriously was infodumping about his favorite color combination while wearing one of his many weird neon tank tops with his strange voice and that's one of many reasons so come on now) and I have several traits I can't even begin to explain especially in todderhood. The only thing that can explain everything up to this point is autism and I'm extremely interested in mental health and try to look at all the variables. I don't rely on social media to tell me what autism looks like and I actually owned the dsm5 at one point hefore I had to leave it behind. Plus I'm 31 and work at Panera. I have no reason to chase clout nor do I care about having any reputation at all in this life. But if I'm a fraud I'm a fraud. Fk it.

Anyways now the reason for this post. I've tried so hard been in and out of relationships even helped care for someone's mother. Neurotype is irrelevant because the relationships ended in a dumpster fire. Most of my partners were autistic and many of them could work and be responsible and serious about a relationship but for some reason idk if I attract bums or unserious guys or if alot of guys in general are just unserious about relationships but I've not had a good relationship yet. I won't claim I'm perfect. After being pushed away or rejected I become angry. I don't hit but I become overstimulated and cynical like when I moved in with my autistic ex who was the love of my life. I excused him disappearing on me for weeks at a time because he was depressed and I finally got to live with him after years of me visiting him off my paychecks and etc etc. I helped him figure out why his mom was sick and helped him with her every step of the way even tried to help him sell the place and really start a life together. He let his family kick me out. I did argue with him but after moving there with him already not prepared for me to be there or prepared to be a team he also acted suddenly like he wasn't happy I was there (it was so obvious even a slightly intellectually disabled person would be able to tell that he wasn't thrilled to have me there) but it was too late because I already moved in. And then it failed and I got stranded in Florida losing savings and having to resave up.

Now I'm talking to this guy overseas. He's definitely neurodivergent and he seemed really serious. He's not a scammer. He actually would send me money through PayPal sometimes. He's a real person and we would video and talk on the phone etc etc. Figured out he had borderline personality disorder before he finally got diagnosed because I have strong mental health pattern recognition and im interested to special interest degree in those topics although I can't afford a college degree nor to pay off those loans. Anyways he fked up our relationship the first time but I gave him a second chance months later cause he seemed like he was changing but that fell down into the dirt so now I'm on a break with him until he gets his shit together and has prospects of coming here with a job because I'm not doing joblessness and no progress.

I also have enough savings to move back to Illinois (not my home state but the community and support is phenomenal and I love the weather) but I want to save more and my job just cut my hours despite me working my butt off and being exploited and micromanaged the most out of all my coworkers. I wish I was joking but I'm not. I had to push through unnecessary unfair dynamics and have multiple times of feeling extremely uncomfortable overdtimulated and upset there and theres no jobs in this town in Florida I got stranded in especially during the summer. I got this job to leave Dunkin donuts and I thought it was better. Turned out it was worse. Now I can't enjoy anything if I want to save up and the one friend I had out here bailed on me and keeps flipping back and forth between being my friend and acting weird as hell. I value consistency and her vibe is inconsistent and I feel I have to walk on eggshells despite me literally always being there to listen and help her with her mental health (that's how we started being friends actually)

I won't claim I'm the best person. When overstimulated I can become very cynical and moody. But I don't believe I deserved any of this. I try really hard I try to bring valuable shit to the table. I don't tolerate double standards but I'm not lazy and I don't go out of my way to be mean. I try to operate with empathy and kindness and I try to get along with everyone because animosity is exhausting and unnecessary. I won't say I never failed before. I probably did but I always tried the best I know how and I'm not the type to just ignore a valued relationship especially a romantic life partnership. I also try to self improve even when I fall into depression and fail for a while I seek solutions still when I calm down and breathe. Yet still I've been hitting consistent roadblocks.

I try to be respectful yet I keep getting disrespected especially at work. I don't throw hands cause it gives me anxiety and even if I can cause I'm pretty physically strong since Ive been lifting very heavy for a while I could get arrested and it doesn't feel good the idea of fighting. I feel trapped. I can't call my family because my siblings don't have the money and my parents are both toxic and regardless of neurotype around me I've been hurt and betrayed. Even across countries guys have been nothing burgers and act the exact same as American guys. I've been trying so hard and it's been lose lose.

I'm nearly 32 and I have nothing to show for it. I'm trying to be strong but I'm exhausted. I still go to the gym and lift heavy but mentally I'm exhausted and emotionally crushed. I can accept if I've failed in multiple ways. I can even take responsibility after the initial self defense attitude dissipates and I calm down. I never said I wasn't bitchy but I'm trying and I feel like it's been a big failure. I feel like I could cry for years straight. And I still can't figure out where my failure ends and unfairness of circumstances begins. I just wish things could be smoother and more simple. I'm hurting a lot and I feel stuck. I feel like I can't get out of my own head and that this depression is permanent. Of course I'll be functional but I don't want to live my life crying and shutting the door in a room i rent alone day after day. I just want a teammate life partner and build together and have good friends and basic respect a a job with a liveable wage, build my physical strength and give back to the community not for clout but to help those who are suffering unfairly.

Even if I failed several times I believe my heart is in the right place and yeah I'm angry but I'm still a good person and still trying. I just don't know when it gets better.

I'm whining and maybe it's stupid. Roast me for it. I don't care. I'll probably be an asshole back cause I'm cynical at this point so if you're rude expect it back at you fause mama still didn't raise no lame ass. However I'm just venting because I'm drowning but trying to tread the water when I have the energy...

I learned this the hard way. I go to work and I'm having a hard pre menstrual symptoms and I felt so bad I had a panic attack randomly and I couldn't even talk about it because it was immediately dismissed and it would be considered an excuse to get out of work. I wasn't trying to go home early this time and I went home early from one time just a couple of hours before because that time I knew I needed to rest so I wouldn't get a full blown cold because I was starting to get sick and would have if I pushed through. Which would take me longer to recover from. I got dropped by EIGHT HOURS for that as a petty revenge for going home a couple hours early. Mind you I was asked if I needed any help that night.

I also used to hear that I complain too much from friends when I was venting and since 3 years or so ago I stopped venting.

I've mentioned at work casually sometimes how crappy I was feeling when I felt off or crappy especially when near my period even when Idon't mention my period. It was considered an excuse or unnecessary information.

That's not the only examples but I've learned over the years expressing weakness or asking for help is not applicable for low support needs people with autistic traits like me especially at my age (31F). Im not officially diagnosed but I don't need clout so I don't chase some attention. I've done real research and self observation and tons of other autistic people I meet recognize it right away and I strangely relate to most of other autistic people's experiences.

I know much of y'all on here who are not young adults especially can relate to this. when you're young it's a bit easy to get some grace because people expect young people to need help and they want to feel useful. But once you're fully grown they don't respect your autistic traits anymore or see them as normal young people issues. They see you as a burden who's asking for too much. This is why many of us become cynical seen as "selfish rebellious assholes" and critical. And we tend to push through burnout. Some of us are seen as strong because we have no choice but to be resilient because when we ask for help the same way our peers do we arent seen the same way. We are seen as annoying and needy and making excuses and complaining. At that point it's better to just be self reliant completely.