u/natterjackss

Oh my god it's CONSTANT. Every time I recount a story to my mother where I'm frustrated with someone, it's always "don't be rude to them".

Earlier today I was reading aloud a text conversation I was having with a professional to arrange an appointment, and he kept changing the time. It was no biggie, just a miscommunication between us, but a little annoying nonetheless. Only response I get from my mum is "make sure you aren't rude to him". I get that from her multiple times a week. It's like she can't trust me to hold a normal, polite conversation with someone. It makes me feel like I must be some antisocial nasty person, even though when I read my messages/recall my conversations I know I am being exceptionally polite. I usually end up saying please/thank you/sorry excessively to make up for the fact I could be being rude (even though I'm not). It's completely unwarranted. And when I finally brought up that it bothered me? "You don't need to make such a big deal!"

For context, I live at home with my parents and washing is split between my mum and I. Anytime she does mine, or brings me clean washing, she never calls any of my underwear what it actually is. Every pair of boxers are I own 'knickers'. Every binder I have is a 'bra'. She's been told multiple times that a) that's not what they're called, and b) it really genuinely bothers me when she does this. I came out to then last April and they said they'd need time to adjust their language and that's fine, but it's been over a year.. surely we've had enough adjustment time to stop calling my pants 'knickers'? I know it's such a trivial thing, but for some reason it really genuinely bothers and upsets me. They misgender me without realising constantly and I almost never bring it up because I know it's not malicious, but this is the one thing I pick them up on every single time and they just won't get it into their heads. I nearly properly shouted at my mum today over this. Sorry this feels like a TMI thing to complain about but it's just fucking bothering me

I've realised a lot of my snacking/over-eating comes from just the desire to be chewing something rather than being hungry. I always used to chew pens and pencils to bits in school but that opportunity doesn't really present itself in adult life so I think I've subconsciously reverted to eating instead. I know chewlery is a thing, but everything I can find just seems to be giant chunky silicon shapes, and the idea of that in my mouth makes me gag (textures, yippee). I really like something firm to chew on (hence the pens/pencils), does anyone know of anything like that I could buy? Ideally discrete as well incase I decide to take it out in public. I've also seen t-shirt necklaces for chewing and whilst they looked better as a non-silicon alternative, do they not get unsanitary? TIA

Kinda TMI but with this heatwave we've had I've developed a heat/sweat rash underneath my binder. I've had this before, usually just under my chest but this time it's also along where the bottom of the binder sits on my ribs, which I've never had before. Ideally I'd resolve this by just not wearing it as much as possible to let my skin breathe but I work 45 hour weeks in a kitchen, so it's quite impossible to not get sweaty at the moment. I'm basically lathering myself in OTC anti fungal cream and sudocrem and showering a lot, and washing my binders almost daily to make sure they're clean. My GP won't see me for 2 weeks. Is there much else I can do at home to treat it?

I don't particularly have much dysphoria around my current equipment so I've never actually thought much about packing, but sometimes when I think about the idea I do like the idea of it. But admittedly I literally know nothing about packing and I don't know where to find some decent, up-to-date advice. I know there's different types and ones for different uses, and I've seen the soft foam packers on Wonababi when I buy my binders but I wouldn't know how to wear it or anything else beyond that. Can anyone point me in the right direction please?

This isn't exactly a vent, but I wasn't sure it belonged in the main sub either. I'm not sure I've ever said "I'm transgender" out loud. I've texted it to people and I'll gladly say "oh yeah I'm a guy" or other vague phrases, but the words "I am transgender" have never left my mouth. And I don't think I could say it if I tried. I did try, the other day, in a voice note to a friend (whom I'm already out to, bear in mind) and it's as if the words were jammed in my throat. I just couldn't say it. I struggle to identify the emotions surrounding this problem - maybe it's shame, or fear. I don't know.

I'm still early into transitioning socially, so I'm only out to friends and family but not at work or in public. Although I'm pre-T I usually I do get gendered correctly the majority of the time (everyone just thinks I'm 15 lmao) and if I don't people tend to just use vague, gender-neutral terms for me, including at work, but christ out of nowhere it's like everybody in my life wants to call me a lady recently. Suddenly the managers at work are all about "girl power!!!" and for some reason the spirit of girl power is constantly being directed at me?? "Cmon ladies, we got this!" sorry you're talking to me? Really? All I want is just to scream in their faces "my name is Nathan and I'm not a fucking lady" but that'll get me in a whole load of shit I'm not ready for. My dysphoria has been pretty bad recently anyway (no particular reason, just one of those times really) and this certainly doesn't help. It just makes me feel so gross

I work in hospitality, usually 6am-3pm shifts, so that's 9 consecutive hours of having to speak to and make small talk with strangers and coworkers. I find interacting with people in this way incredibly mentally draining, like I compare the mental effort of small talk as the same physical effort as trying to move a couch by yourself.

By the time I get home I am at my threshold of social interaction and want nothing more than to have a few hours to myself without needing to speak to anybody, and I've explained this to my parents (who I still live with) but they just don't seem to grasp that when I say "I don't want to talk to anyone" that also includes them. I'll do the polite "how has your day been?" over dinner but I don't want to have a conversation everytime I enter a room they're in. It feels like I'm getting ambushed, which I know isn't what they're doing but that's how it makes me feel. It gets to the point where I'm finding myself really frustrated and I snap at them, which I feel bad for but I've tried telling them what I need and they just won't listen. I want to be left alone, I've come into the kitchen to do my dishes, not to have a conversation. It makes me feel like the only safe space in the house is my room, and then I feel trapped there because it's the only place I feel like I won't be ambushed by conversation. I just need to be left alone long enough to regulate myself and calm down. How can I get them to understand that without sounding more rude?

For background context, in the last 12 months I've lost a stone. I was in a calorie deficit and ran 3 times a week. My weight loss paused around March/April when I moved house but I'm in a position to start again now.

It's been 4 weeks since I started trying to lose weight again and I haven't seen any progress despite doing all the same things I did the first time I lost sight. I started eating in a calorie deficit again (1700 cals), went back to running 3 times a week, hit 10k steps a day minimum (sometimes up to 15k), and eat a sufficient amount of protein and fibre. I reduced my calorie deficit to 1500 cals a day, assuming my maintenance changed with my weight loss, but that hasn't made a difference. The scales literally haven't budged an inch and I'd have expected to see a least a couple pounds dropped after 4 weeks. Where am I going wrong?

Edit: forgot some important info. 22F, 5ft4

So I changed my name on my instagram account a couple nights ago thinking that realistically nobody would really notice (not that it was a problem if they did, that was the point). I was wrong. Many people noticed. I've had so many people message me acknowledging it - nothing bad, just either confirming that's what I was going by or congratulating me. I just hate how awkward it is, I hate having any sort of attention drawn towards me and I thought this wouldn't be as noticeable as it was and I'm not getting harassed or anything but it's just setting my nerves on edge slightly. I feel seen.

Also side note, my sister in law saw it too (seriously I don't notice people's names on Instagram so how did so many people notice I changed mine??) which meant my brother messaged me (a nice message, but still) so now I kinda need to tell my entire family. Which is fine, they aren't gonna care, but I just hate these conversations because there so awkward 😭