My family is kinda deeply messed up on both sides with a LOT of mental illness and just general douchebaggery. When I met my grandma on my dads side, I had to pretend to still be cis. I have one uncle on my dads side that ive never met, never talked to, and no one in the family talks about him, they'll change the subject whenever he comes up. Recently I followed him on Facebook, and he started liking all my pro-trans, feminist, woke posts. So finally I got the courage to message him, and in his first response he called me his nephew!!!!!! It made me cry a little. I'm really looking forward to knowing him

Works with a strap and bottom growth. Doesn’t penetrate (huge point of dysphoria for me). Allows both you and your partner to feel pleasure, this is the first strap on that I’ve found that does this :)
And it’s posable!!
If comes in three colors: teal, peach, and brown

The down side is it might not work for people with large amounts of bottom growth.

I apparently can’t add pictures :(
The brand is called wet for her (lesbian owned company), it’s a pack and play with a stroker. It’s made with hypoallergenic silicone. It’s 20cm long total, with the “usable” part being 16cm. The diameter is 3.5cm.

this happened years ago but its been weighing on me ever since.

I was around 16 and went to a psychiatrist for a few sessions. there were rorschach tests, had to build a beach in a box of sand, had to tell some kind of story? i dont remember everything, but at the final session i had with her, i had to go with my mom and the therapist said im not trans, i didn't give the answers trans men typically give, smth like that.

I've finally decided i can ask this somewhere, could those results mean anything? have i been lying to myself for the past ~6 years?

I consider myself some kind of nb transmasc person/guy, and i really want top surgery, and would like to start low dose t, but im pretty androgynous already so T is not my main priority. idk what to think tbh, i socially transitioned everywhere aside from my family, but have i just built this on a complete misunderstanding of my own feelings?

edit: thank you for the replies, all of you are wonderful! honestly its like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulder seeing people call these tests bullshit. always felt like an outlier in the community because this was in the back of my mind, like a confirmation im not actually part of it. i might be able to start the process of getting t soon, so i was really worried ill fall at the first hurdle, that ill get the same results at the psychiatrist. so im really grateful for the comments ❤️

So, where I live, it’s about to be summer. I got top surgery last year and I’m sOOOO excited to go out shirtless. However…I do have love handles and I wanna get rid of them as fast as possible because they make me feel like I look too feminine. They aren’t like huge, I’m pretty small but they bother me a lot. Is there anything I can do, exercise wise, that could help me get rid of them?

Hair is growing everywhere, like lichen discovering an island for the first time. And now I am getting ingrown hairs absolutely everywhere. My face, my chest, my stomach.

I have had people look at my face funny and now I am worried people think I have herpes when I don't. Cold sores don't even look like acne but I remember in middle school people would accuse me of having herpes when I got breakouts by my nose side of my upper lip. It's clearly just a pimple but you know how this goes.

How do I stop the ingrown hairs? I obviously shower and wash my face every day. I use face scrubs.

This is a celebratory post because I had never been correctly gendered until I finally got a masculine haircut a little white ago! It made me happy! But I find it really interesting that all of those times it was by South Asian men lmao. Kind of curious why people of other ethnicities keep "ma'am"ing me left and right whereas they "sir"'d me without hesitation.

Okay so I'm planning to start T soon but my family DOES NOT approve. I live somewhere where health care is free (thank God) so I don't have to depend on them in that aspect.

They are pretty ignorant to the subject. We live in a small town where you have to be just like everybody else or you're the freak everybody spreads rumors about. So yeah, they're pretty unaware.

How can I possibly do this? They are pretty much the type of people that don't understand this and think I'm just a butch lesbian.

Lmao Like, I'm going to start T without telling them (I haven't even come out to my dad and older brother yet) and if I don't educate them on the topic nobody will. They are fed with right wing propaganda all the time.

I need some tips please

TW: body dysmorphia & disordered eating

I've always had a hard time with body dysmorphia always feeling too fat for my height, or my gender, or my race even though I don't look fat at all from what others have said. I'm an athlete, lift, and workout 4-6x a week.

I've gone in and out of disordered eating patterns since I was 12yo and over exercising, etc. and I'm so exhausted.

On top of coming out as lesbian and being butch, and now considering my gender and if I'm trans/NB I feel so insecure.

My style is simple and plain, and that's too bland for lesbians but I'm not trans enough pre hrt to be deemed a man to have cis women even consider me. Dating is harsh and I feel people judge me on how I look, how I dress, if I'm not hey mamas or fuck boy enough.

I'm exhausted with feeling inadequate and invisible.

Idk if coming out as trans and going on hrt and being able to bulk muscle easier would help me loosing fat and feel better... Or if it's gotta come from somewhere deeper inside :/ anyone else gone through this feeling?

I saw a post where someone said you can't call your genitals male without bottom surgery. Seriously? How can you willingly call your parts female if you consider yourself a man? By the same logic, not a single trans man can be considered a real man, because he still has female chromosomes.

Overall, this post really affected me in a bad way. I've been used to see my genitals as a male ones my whole life, simply because I'm a man and they're part of my male body. I don't experience bottom dysphoria, I'm happy with what I have right now. It works and brings me pleasure when needed, but I start to experience severe dysphoria if someone tries to force me to call my parts female. Moreover, this is literally not true. T changes the tissues (bottom growth) and how the organ itself functions, so it's stupid to still consider it female.

Sometimes I feel guilty for having all types of dysphoria except bottom dysphoria. I don't plan on having bottom surgery in the future (not that I even have the opportunity).

What do you guys think about this? How do you feel about those who don't have bottom dysphoria but still have overall body/voice/social dysphoria? What do you think is the correct name for your parts?

I've read here on this subreddit (don't remember the post/comment unfortunately) that you're supposed to switch the place where you put your gel on every once in a while to avoid the area building up "resistance" to it and slowing down absorption.

My endocrinologist hasn't mentioned this at all during our meetings, and I'm getting mixed results online. In your experience, has changing the application area help?

I wash my upper arm every day with hot water before putting it on (my right arm usually). Should I be changing it up?

so basically I'm a pre-top surgery trans guy who also hasn't started T yet due to complications with pre-existing hormonal imbalances and other reasons that aren't necessary to explain in this post.

and for a while my fashion sense was very "hawaiian print button-down shirt / plain polo and khaki shorts" because that's what the guys wear around here. but then I realized that doesn't feel like 'me' anymore, and I don't consider myself particularly passing so I realized what's the use in trying to wear "cis guy clothes" when it's not bringing me any joy?? (more power to anyone who dresses like that btw, it's just not my personal style!!)

anyway I've wanted to experiment with makeup again for a while, which I've been avoiding because "why use makeup when that'll just make you look more fem." oh what a fool I was. about a month or so ago I decided to finally stop at the walgreens near my house to buy an eyeliner pencil, just the cheapest brand in case I ended up hating it.

I looked up a tutorial on yt (specifically gerard way's) and I applied it to my lower waterline. his advice was basically to lay it on thick at first and then rub most of it off, and as soon as I applied it I was like hooooly shit oh my god. one of my first gender envy characters ever was Rodrick Heffley and to see myself resemble him just a *little* bit was affirming in such a silly way. since then I've been applying my eyeliner like that every day and I feel incomplete without it. I can't believe *eyeliner* of all things has brought me more joy than any binder or packer ever has. I finally feel 'guy' in the way that I want to.

since then I've been trying to dress more alternative. I bought a few accessories from Hot Topic and then decided they were too expensive and to just start making my own. I'm pretty clueless when it comes to sewing or anything of the like so I'm learning slowly, but I'm really excited to explore this new chapter of my self expression :)

sorry for the wall(s) of text but this feels like a huge victory to me even if it's so minor. I've been saving up for a better binder for ages and it's been really hard with all my other expenses, so to be able to find gender euphoria in a cheap stick of eyeliner is rly awesome for the time being.

if anyone has any similar stories they want to share in the comments of little unexpected ways they've found gender euphoria then lmk :D i am truly living my Rodrick moment. yay

Deapite the title I absolutely love passing. I've been out since like 2018 but only recently got on hrt (last July) and I've just started a new job and everyone just like... knew I was a guy. The first time they gendered me right I was totally assuming it was a one time thing. Nope, they just think I'm a cis gay man. Even patients have corrected themselves on my gender. I walked in to a mans room and called out to ask if I could come in before he could even see me and he fr went "Oh come in ma'am." Then he saw my face and went "Oh, I'm so sorry sir." 😭

Its so freaky how quickly it all switched and also how quickly I was just thrust into the mens room. Mens room is scary but I guess I'm banned from the womens room.

But also getting used to the women at my job not talking to me when I used to and also catching myself before I go "Oh yeah, well yk I've never been pregnant myself..... AND AND I NEVER WILL CAUSE LIKE I CANT...and uh...." 🧍‍♂️ (based on a completely true story)

Tldr; I'm not used to passing and its pretty jarring to be in an environment where I can stealth for the most part.

I am open to a discussion about this because I understand that my experience isn’t everyone’s but I feel like this statement is at best a way for cis people to stuff trans people into their own world view and at worst a way to covertly assign trans men as women.

I personally have never at any point in my transition been treated like a woman by anyone who was transphobic. I was however treated like I wasn’t a man, and i wasn’t a woman either but something less than both of these things. other trans masc/men have shared this sentiment in my life and I believe that despite how passing or not passing you are if they know youre trans, transphobic treat you like you’re not a man. but I don’t believe that inherently means they’re treating you like a woman. even times when they refer to me with the wrong pronouns or gender since they knew I was trans it was always a way to degrade me and in their mistreatment never did it in a way they would towards a cis woman.

honestly it sometimes feels like a way to not truly address trans men’s issues by generalizing them to the experience of a cisgender woman’s cause the concept doesn’t align with the ways gendered oppression operates for specifically cis people.

so I would like to hear other people’s thoughts on this? agree or disagree?

My cis male bi friend was recently called a trans chaser by a few trans guys in our friend group, one of which is his ex. I’m a trans guy myself and I wouldn’t call him a trans chaser.

He has dated several trans guys but his type is literally alt and queer twink-ish or androgynous types. That’s obviously not all trans guys. His type just happens to be that. He’s dated a few cis girls but no trans girls (though he’s not opposed to that). He does have a lot of internalized homophobia due to homophobic comments made by former friends and he acknowledges that. It’s the main reason why he doesn’t date or hook up with cis guys. I’d like to know y’all’s opinions or perspectives on this because it’s really hitting him hard.

Edit: I want to add that he has kind of a block cause by the internalized homophobia. He’s more than willing to be with a cis guy if the time is taken to ease his anxiety

Edit 2: Thank you everyone for your input and opinions. I do apologize as I’m only going off of what he and others have told me and how I feel about him as a person. I do agree that there’s more to his internalized homophobia because if he has trouble dating a cis guy, but no issues dating a trans guy, then there must be an underlying feeling of trans guys not entirely being guys. I really appreciate you guys and your opinions! I’ll talk with him so he can address these concerns with his therapist and hopefully more forward as a better person with a better understanding of trans guys and trans people in general

Edit 3: I see how my replies came across. Initially, I was trying to defend him because he is my friend. However, I’ve heard what all of you have said and thank you for helping me see that. I did want your opinions and that’s what you gave me so I’m very appreciative of all of you. I’m sorry if it seemed like I was taking his side over my communities and my fellow trans guys. That wasn’t my intention, but I understand all of you questioning him and myself.

is it still visible? can it still be touched separately? how does the tdick feel once there's already a larger constructed penis?

does it cause dysphoria? is the new t dick stimulated during intercourse at all? i would like to see some pictures but all i come by are basically gore... (diagrams work too they need not be real people)

I started talking to this cis gay man about a week ago but I quite frankly forgot that I was trans when we were exchanging pictures and that would have been the prime opportunity to let him know, before he knew too many details about me.

The problem now is that I'm stealth, and if I outed myself to him he could potentially out me at university.

I've really enjoyed chatting with him since and we've met a few times on campus so I decided to see what he thought of trans people, by bringing up the Odyssey movie in reference to me having read the book, and by extension, Elliot Page.

The consensus was that he was 'weird' and 'technically a lesbian'.

So RIP it was good while it lasted.

I think I should meet him in neutral territory and basically say that we should stop chatting, not because he's lacking anything - I've been more attracted to him than I've been to anyone in a long time and I'll tell him as much - but because of personal circumstances that I don't feel comfortable revealing.

I feel like it's the more honorable thing to do compared to just breaking it off over text.

I'm sure most of you were smart enough to be open about it from the get-go but I can't say I'm exceptionally experienced so this was a learning opportunity. What would you have done in this situation?

Edit: I did end up messaging him that I want to end it or whatever. I'm paraphrasing, but I basically said that I know he probably saw it as a small comment, but I didn't feel comfortable with what he said about Elliot Page because I think there's enough negativity in society and I didn't want to also experience it in our community. I said that I have gender diverse friends and I didn't want to betray their trust for someone I've only known a few days.

His response was basically that he sometimes says stuff like that because of his upbringing and that he doesn't really mean it, and that he has gender diverse friends too. He proceeded apologize and say that he really likes me and wanted to know what he could do to make it up to me, but I haven't responded yet. Quite frankly I don't think it's a good enough excuse to want to waste my time any further.

To everyone that gave me constructive criticism and genuine advice, thank you. And to those that suggested I ghost, I didn't think that was a good option. It makes me seem like I'm the one in the wrong, and he never has to confront his problematic views.

I'm not the one that's missing out because I'm being cowardly by virtue of me being stealth. He's the one missing out because he can't yet move past his programmed bigotry.

WOOOOOOO! (cheer with me pls) WOOOOOO!

Posted for my fiancé:

As a trans guy who is fighting insurance right now, things are… unpausing.

I’ve always really struggled with menstrual care, mostly due to sensory issues. I’ve recently discovered the underwear option and I love it but it’s super super made for women.

Anyone know of any brands that do stuff like that in a different style of underwear? Is the idea of menstrual boxers impossible?

Gotta ask the real questions here.

Edit to add: Fiancé here. Thank you all for the awesome suggestions. We're going to give untag a try because packing has always been an issue, really looking forward to trying them out and really happy to hear something like this is out there.

(Also, just wanted to add: I was scared off reddit early on in my identity issues phase when i was looking for help. It was really unpleasant, I appreciate everyone being so nice.)

TW: Trandphobia/homophibia and mention of S/A

im so happy on my changes on T. Not a single complaint. I also have OCD on top of this so, if you know, you know.

I'm about 99% gay, homoflexible is the term that best describes me.

I however, feel like a pervert. An "invader" of gay spaces. Whenever I see anything about gay trans men online outside of trans spaces, all I can see is hundreds of people saying that we are "women forcibly r*ping gay men, forcing them to be straight" I also feel like im trying to "perv" on men in the bathroom, even though I'm terrified of having to go in there and being expected to piss standing up or some shit.

Currently, im engaged to bi man. Im so excited to be seen as a gay couple, even though im a bit afraid of homophobes hurting us in some way. I hated being seen as a straight couple. Although I love my fiancé, when i was still presenting as a woman, I never stated his (male) name, always referred to him as my partner and used "they" pronouns. (He goes by he/they so he didnt mind this)

My fiances extended family consists of a lot of gay men who i just recently met. I dont want to be intimate with these people, but when I get to be around other gay guys I get really excited? Especially since strangers all assume im just a young twink and not FTM. But I feel like im forcing myself onto them by just considering myself one of them. Like if they found out what I was they'd see me as a predator.

I only enjoy MLM romance based stories or films. I only enjoy MLM NSFW content, this was mostly true even before transitioning.

It makes me feel like maybe im just a pervert or an attention seeking straight girl. I feel like if I liked women, i wouldn't hate myself at all. But I just... feel gross. I feel like im trying to force myself into places i dont belong. I dont mind that people may not want to have sex with me for my anatomy, thats 100% valid, and id never expect that of anyone. People are allowed to say no for any reason. but I dont want to be seen as some woman trying to prey on people or forcibly convert people...

Ive never had a cis gay say this to my face, but if it's what they are thinking inside but jusy dont want to tell me it makes me hate who I am.

I just dont know how to cope and if ill ever be able to. Me and my partner are into BDSM but haven't ever explored it outside of our bedroom, but its something we want to do. I dont plan on getting bottom surgery so I can never be stealth in that aspect.