r/ftm

I’m scheduled to get a hysterectomy in October finally, and am so, so excited for it- but to get it, I have to get a letter from my therapist, and she won’t write it. She thinks I want a hysto because I have PTSD/a history of CSA and SA, and that the horror I feel regarding my uterus is because of that.

I’ve tried explaining that I’ve wanted this since middle school, that it’s never changed, and that I want the surgery because I’m trans and it’s gender affirming care. But she’s not convinced.

I don’t know what to do- I was thinking about seeing another therapist for a while on top of her, and having the other therapist write the letter? Other ideas are welcome.

This might sound weird and funny, but I'm soo embarrassed to go to a gyno. It was bad enough to wait in line for an exam early in my transition, getting so many weird stares and just feeling uncomfortable, but now it's gonna be even worse. I have my name changed. I have a beard. My voice is deep. I look more out of place than Dr. Frankenstein at a body-building competition.

But I really need to go. My man-cave is so dry and rough you could light a match off that thing. I can remember my middle-school math exams better than the last time it was wet!

I heard that some estrogen creams or rings might help, but I need a prescription for those. I'm not afraid of that, the absorption into the bloodstream is negligible at best.

I'm more afraid of the doctor's reaction. Like "What did you expect? You went on testosterone, now suffer the consequences of your actions!"

Do you guys have any experience with that? How did it go?

I'm a trans man in Texas and I turn 18 in 3 days. I have two moms that wholeheartedly support me with all they have and really want to help with my transition progress. Only thing is that I worry testosterone might become illegal in Texas for people under 26.

There has been talk about a u.s. bill going around that HRT is going to be illegal for people under the age of 26 to use. That would really screw me over since I live in Texas and don't have the money to move, nor do my parents. I was hoping to get started on T this month but now I'm scared on how it's going to work out for me. I already have to travel to New Mexico to visit a planned parenthood since that's the closest one to me. So if I'm getting HRT in the mail and it suddenly goes illegal... what would I even do??

Also on top of that it's illegal to change your gender marker in Texas. So even if I start HRT it'd be really awkward for job interviews and legal processes if my marker says F and I show up looking like a full man. I'm really in a bind here.

maybe an odd question - but if I'm on daily E cream/supplements at the beginning of atrophy treatment would the topical estrogen affect their dick? or is it fine as long as they wash thoroughly soon after?

At this point in my transition I get he/himed by strangers consistently but I live in a famously very progressive and lgbt friendly city so the majority of people I encounter probably have that same mindset so I’ve begun to get paranoid that everyone is clocking me even though im relatively stealth and they’re just being nice by gendering me correctly. It feels silly to feel like this because Im still privileged enough to get gendered correctly but my mind is trying to sour that win by telling me that I don’t actually pass and people are just polite. Is this something anyone else has felt before, if so how did you get over it?

So, I (19FtM) started my first year of college last August. It was great for a while, especially since all of my friends in my main friend group were either queer in some way or great allies. This includes "Charlie" (19F).

When I first met Charlie, she was one of those Christians who were actually respectful of everyone and even said it herself that she was asexual. She never stopped hanging out with me, even after I came out as transmasculine and said I had her full support.

Well, what felt out of nowhere, she started becoming aggressive towards me and suddenly wasn't telling me about group activities like she would with other people in our friend group. She was suddenly only telling plans to "Harper" (19F) (a cishet Christian woman), "Andrew" (20M) (a gay asexual atheist), and "Blake" (19M) (a cishet Jewish man). She was suddenly excluding me and our other friend "Remy" (19F) (a lesbian). And whenever me or Remy were hanging out with her, she would refuse to look at us and act like we weren't in the room. And whenever she did give us enough time to speak, she always finds some way to tell us we were wrong for whatever it is we said.

At first, I thought it was because of something we did specifically. I found out later that I was wrong.

Andrew is my closest friend in the group, and I found out from him a couple months ago that he found out that Charlie stopped considering herself asexual and actually considered everyone in the group "sinners". She considered Harper a sinner because she wasn't the same denomination of Christianity as her (Charlie being nondenominational and Harper being protestant). She considered Andrew a sinner because he was gay, asexual, and an atheist. She considered Blake a sinner because he was Jewish but said he was "making the most progress out of all of us" because he already stopped considering himself bisexual with a male preference and has actually been considering converting from Judaism to Christianity because of her influence. She considered Remy a sinner because she's a lesbian and nonreligious. And she considers me a sinner because I'm transmasculine, only attracted to women, and spiritual instead of religious.

So, the reason she's been excluding me and Remy is because we're the only ones who haven't been "making an effort to redeem ourselves of our sins" (since I'm still trying to make an effort to medically transition and Remy is still going on dates with women). She's still been hanging out with Harper because "she's on the right track", she's been hanging out with Blake because he's actually been considering her words (like I said), and she's been hanging out with Andrew because she's trying to make him convert to Christianity and trying to "convert him" into being straight, despite how much he's been refusing, and I think it's because she previously had a crush on him, claimed she stopped liking him once he told her he was gay, and is just lying about it to look better.

Andrew is trying to tell me to give her a chance because she's likely going through something she isn't willing to see yet. Blake is saying that her actions have been making him uncomfortable but weren't as bad as I thought it was, just annoying. And Harper is claiming she hadn't noticed anything going on with Charlie and thinks I'm unfairly disliking her. The only one who's on my side here is Remy, who also agrees it's stupid for her to be friends with people she actively knows she wants to change.

I have no idea what to do as this is the first time something like this happened to me, and I'm hoping I can get some insight from other trans people.

To start this off, I'd like to say that I am an openly trans man, and the person who I will be talking about today (and looking for advice on how to handle this person) has known I am trans for months, perhaps even over a year, so yeah.

It all started with me saying I envy cisgender men and how they are able to look in public, etc and it started a whole conversation about gender and the social stigma in our and other communities.

It eventually got them wondering WHY I was trans, and asked me my main reason, etc. I told them my reasons, and they told me “It sounds like you were just looking for something to fill a space,” followed by, “I feel like it's about accepting it's not who you are though.”

I responded quite sarcastically, and said, “So you're saying I HAVE to accept that I can't be a man? Really?”

I proceeded to say that being transgender is what I am, and what I will continue to be as well as saying that no “acceptance” will make me love being a woman. I said it might be wonderful and great to be a woman for some people, but it was not for me. I repeated thoroughly and firmly that I am a man.

They responded with, “It takes time. It's really hard, Ill be honest.” At first I thought they were talking about transitioning, passing, etc., but I realized they were talking about accepting one's biological “gender.” (Im going to use this word bc I don't wanna tag this post as NSFW !! dw i know that gender and the other term are completely different and range in so many ways)

They responded to what I said before (“So you're saying I HAVE to accept that I can't be a man? Really?”) with “Yes, its about loving who you are. I found myself a lot happier when I truly understood.” To which I found insane, considering I told them I was much happier identifying with he/him pronouns, and they're telling me I could be happier as a woman.

I repeated that I do not feel comfortable being a woman, or anything that falls under the term. I said that being transgender may be a difficult and bumpy ride, but it is one that I am happier on (as opposed to watching other people define me). I told them being trans is truly me, and if they were going to reflect on my genuine self like this, then we seriously couldn't be friends.

They told me, “Just don't do anything your gonna regret,” and didn't even have the gall to use the correct grammatical term while insulting me. They doubled down and said (after I pointed out the fact they couldn't even spell the word “you're” right and still insults me) “Not insulting you, just voicing my concerns and explaining ways to get better.” Like, what? I'm not mentally ill because of my gender and identity, and them saying that is just vile (in my opinion).

I told them that saying such things like this quite literally can get kids and adults alike killed (I did an extensive study about stuff like this for my finals presentation).

I told them to dni, and they just said “Okay”

any advice guys.. glup

EDIT: please excuse any spelling errors!! i posted before reading it thru lol

One of my online friends (they are ally) asked me what 'self-made man' means, and I stopped for a second to realize it can mean different things to different trans men! So I'm wondering what does it mean to you all?

I’m an FTM, about one year on testosterone and one year post top surgery. I’m around average height (mid-160 cm range).
Most of the time I pass as male, but I still find myself freezing in situations where other men act aggressively.
For example, sometimes people intentionally bump into me, yell at me to move even when there’s plenty of space, or try to intimidate me for no reason.
Today I went to a park to relax. I was quietly watching a stray cat when an older man walked over and tried to kick it. I wanted to stop him, but I couldn’t bring myself to confront him. Afterwards I felt frustrated with myself.
This kind of thing has happened more than once.
Part of me feels like, if I’m going to live as a man, I should be able to stand my ground and protect my girlfriend if something ever happened. But the reality is that I still hesitate when faced with aggressive people.
Has anyone else—FTM or cis—gone through this?
How did you build the confidence to handle confrontation without being reckless? Did martial arts, strength training, therapy, or simply life experience make the biggest difference?
I’d really appreciate hearing from people who used to freeze in these situations but eventually learned how to deal with them.

"I will not call you your new name, but I will try to not call you [dead name]"

"You have been [deadname] to me your entire life and that's not going to change."

-Grandmother after asking her to call me by my name, not my deadname

Could be worse but still...

She's thinking with her emotions and not logic. And admitted that. So, I guess it's time to start treating her like a child, because adults should have their judgment clouded by emotions.

Edit: She says this is a compromise for both of us. I didn't realize asking for being treated with basic respect needed to be a compromise.

Edit|Edit: I want to stay in touch with her because "I need to appreciate the time we have left together."

But I would rather my memory of her be filled with happy memories, not the negative ones that we are making now. I'd rather remember her as a force of good, not bigotry.

Looking for advice on how to politely deal with family members (or just people in general) who correct or dismiss me when I share my trans experience.

Storytime & Context:
I (35 afab masc nb) have begun running again since starting t 4 months ago. I've always been an on and off runner. Done a few half-marathons, one full (never again), can enjoy some good monthly 10k or 8k when I'm trained up. This is all to say, I know what my body is like when I start training after chilling on the couch over the winter. Was very curious to see if I might notice any difference since being on hrt.

Now, normally I don't run during fall and winter. But before today, I hadn't run in 4 years. So I fully expected to maybe walk 5min run 5min. Instead, I was able to cruise at a decent clip for 20min, no problemo, and my heart rate came down WAY quicker than I expected. My starting baseline has NEVER been like this. I'm also not doing anything besides lifting a dumbbell occassionally. I've been practically sedentary. I work at a desk all day. I would consider myself the least in shape I've ever been. So being able to hit 20 MINUTES??? Wild. I'm elated. So cool.

I don't know what else to credit it to other than having started t.

I texted this to my sister in-law, who works in health and wellness, is a runner, is an ally, and has also expressed interest in knowing how my journey goes.

The reply, "That's good to hear! Wouldn't be the T, it doesn't impact cardio or endurance or improve fitness... There's likely a pretty major placebo effect."

Uh. Thanks for... the info? Was actually just sharing my experience so she could add it to her understanding. Wasn't looking to be confirmed or corrected.

This isn't the first time that I've tried to share an experience as it relates to my transition, and for the person I'm talking to, to tell me "that's not true" or, "it couldn't be because of that."
Is this my life now? Do I need to just get used to people telling me, "no, you're wrong and that didn't happen" while I'm in the middle of actively living the thing???

Anyways. Feeling pretty deflated. Was excited to share a cool thing I discovered today and the power of t and how it is working for me.
Would greatly appreciate hearing if/how others deal with stuff like this. Also looking for some concise replies that I could practice when I feel like my experiences are being dismissed. All I see is red when I get upset and words fail me unless I have some preloaded.

[edited for horrible grammar jfc i'm tired]

been seeing someone who’s been on estrogen for about a year and a half. they don’t produce any sperm. i’ve been on testosterone for about ten months and my period stopped completely about two months ago.

obviously i know there is a risk of pregnancy anyway and will talk to my endo about it, but i wanted to see if anyone had a similar experience having sex with someone on estrogen and navigating the pregnancy thing.

So I’m 17 and a FtM trans man, but I haven’t really socially transitioned at all. I’ve basically been “girlmoding“ because I don’t pass. I don’t bother telling people I’m trans because I don’t want them to view me strangely because it’s happened before back in middle school (never ever come out as trans in middle school, trust me. kids are RUTHLESS).

I have a job now, and I just realized how close I am to being able to afford HRT, which I’ve done TONS of research on and have heard from firsthand accounts what it would be like. It would be a big step towards transitioning, and I‘m extremely excited… or was. I started thinking about what would happen, and then I started realizing how much of me would change. I always daydreamed about the changes and what I would look like afterwards… but what if I end up being even more unhappy than I was before?? What if I’m not as happy as everyone else seems to be? I’ll have to come out to people at my workplace and to family friends and more as well, and socially transitioning is scary since everyone treated me differently when I came out the first time. I do tend to overthink things, so maybe I’m overthinking this too, but it makes me wonder if I’m not truly the man I say I am since I’m doubting it so much.

After coming out in middle school and promptly being disrespected and gaslit by the people around me, I just told myself that it wasn’t real and stayed in the closet until two years ago. I could never go back to calling myself a “girl”. I played around with the enby label, but that didn’t feel right either. Being a man is what felt right, but what if all those people who told me otherwise are actually right? It’s like I don’t trust myself to make my own decisions.

All this is to say: Was anyone else scared to take HRT? Or to transition in any way? Am I wrong for feeling this way? If not, how did you overcome your fear? Do you have any stories to tell that might make me feel better? Anything would help.

Hello, I don’t know if this is a stupid question, just want to know if I’m making a big deal out of this or not (also neurodivergent so social cues and stuff like that is somewhat confusing for me to understand).

Recently my cis friend started an argument with me over something really stupid and started getting really worked up about it.

After a bit he started shoving me and then kicked me.

Do cis men normally just shove/push each other around when they have fights or arguments?

Edit:
Thanks to everyone that commented, I’ve removed him from all my social media accounts

I feel like I’m losing my mind over this. I’ve known for years that I want to transition and start testosterone—it’s not a sudden idea or something I picked up online. I’ve thought about it constantly, done the research, talked to other trans people, and every time I imagine my future, transitioning is part of it. The problem is that my parents control basically everything right now, including access to medical care. Every conversation about hormones turns into the same argument: they say I’m too young, that I’ll regret it, that I need to wait another year. When I try to explain how miserable I feel, they act like I’m being dramatic, and when I explain why testosterone would help, they treat it like I’m asking for something reckless.
The hardest part is that they say they’re supportive while refusing to actually support this. They’ll use my name sometimes and listen to me talk, but the second hormones come up it’s a hard no. They act like they’re protecting me, while ignoring that doing nothing is also a decision with consequences. Watching time pass like this is exhausting—every month feels like another month I’m stuck waiting for permission to be myself. I see other trans guys starting T and finally feeling comfortable in their bodies, and while I’m happy for them, I’m also incredibly jealous.
I know my parents think they’re doing the right thing and that they’re scared, but it feels like they’re choosing their comfort over my wellbeing. I don’t want to spend years trying to convince people that I know who I am—I just want the chance to move forward with my life.

Hello all you lovely people! I've lurked for quite a while and this is a brand new account just for the purpose of asking this here, just to get that out of the way. Oh also this might be long and kind of ramble because my thoughts are all over the place. I know it's asked by a lot of people but no two people are alike so I've finally decided to ask specifically about my own life and experiences. I'm sorry if I get some terms wrong.

I'm 40 and afab. I was raised in a strict conservative Christian household, including private Christian school. To the point where we were separated in middle and high school for any health class into boys and girls, and were *not* taught anything about the other gender, and used Christian biology textbooks which did *not* include anything but the most superficial, very short, often skipped reproductive system chapter, etc. Church, religious school, religious family, the entire worldview was girls are girls, boys are boys, girls mustn't tempt boys, girls must not have sex until they're married, there's no such thing as gay people and people who say they're gay are mentally ill, and I never even *heard* the word trans or anything like it.

But I hated wearing dresses and refused whenever I could, I loved video games and science fiction, I loved Lord of the Rings, I loved Dragonball Z and Gundam Wing and everything on Toonami and Adult Swim (I'm old I know haha), I loved coding and making my own websites with html (it was the late 90s after all). I'm saying all this even though *now* I know of course none of those things are gendered in and of themselves, but *at the time* the context was--those were boy things. The other girls I was around did not like those things. The boys I was around liked those things but didn't want me around because I was a girl. Basically was very lonely back then. And half of those things were very against my parents' strict rules so I had to hide that I liked them, anyway.

No worries, I always told myself, I'll go away to college and get to like what I like. I'll major in computer science and Japanese and maybe the guys will let me hang out with them like I want to. Maybe I can get a job programming video games.

I never dated in high school. Nothing ever really felt right. I liked guys, I knew that much. But I didn't like how guys liked or approached me. For a long time afterwards I thought it was probably because even if they acknowledged I liked the stuff they liked, they still talked down to me. I didn't want to be talked down to. I wanted to be in the group.

In college I did move away from home and I very quickly stopped going to church; I did not go to a religious college so all of that indoctrination stopped, eventually I realized I'm an atheist and so all the "rules" in the Bible didn't apply any more. But I was really naive having been taught pretty much nothing growing up, and even though I didn't agree with a lot of what I had been raised with, I didn't have anything to replace it with or even know what about it was wrong or might have a different meaning than what I thought for a long time.

I've always had a super active imagination, for example. To the point where I will feel the emotions and (if I'm alone lol) act out the scenarios. Half my waking hours when I'm doing things like washing dishes or showering or walking somewhere or shopping I am living a different story in my head. But I'm a guy in those stories. And when I dream I'm a guy. And my favorite fictional characters are guys. To me, I never told anyone about the dream thing. Because those were often sexual and I wouldn't tell anyone about them anyway, but also because I was sad when I woke up. But the imagination thing, well I just figured it was because in the stories I liked guys seemed to get the cool roles that I wanted. So of course I'd imagine I'm the guy. Sometimes I'd try to put myself in a female role in my story. Like a kick-ass girl who liked the stuff I liked and could do all the cool stuff the guys around her could do and was basically considered "one of the guys" and then like well might as well just be a guy then...? lol.

I didn't date much in college either because even though I was shedding my very strict religious upbringing I still wasn't really sure about myself other than that, as always, I liked guys. I like nice shoulders and thighs. Sex was fine. I've always orgasmed - like, always. Masturbating, having sex, doesn't matter. I did that before I ever knew what it was lol (remember we were *not* taught anything useful all through high school). So I guess I should say, physically, sex was fine. But emotionally I don't know, I wasn't super into it. I didn't want to be a sexy girl that a lot of boyfriends wanted me to be. It felt weird. I thought that was because I didn't like being sexualized or that my boyfriend asking me to wear sexy lingerie that he liked was actually sexist. (But now I don't think so, I mean, we were dating and why can't a partner ask their partner to wear something sexy? I think he was normal and I was the one with the issue, that is, not wanting to be seen as a sexy girl.) But at the time I just felt ick. Emotionally. Like I said. Sex itself was always fine. I enjoyed it. With others or alone, haha. Still do. Anyway.

College was ok. I was one of like 3 girls majoring in CS. More of the guys were cool with hanging out with me than in high school, so that was fun. But they were still the minority. Eventually I changed the CS major to a minor because I didn't want a future of always being "the girl programmer" and just majored in Japanese. I figured I could still get a job like translating or something at a gaming company so that would be cool. But actually I ended up getting a masters in TESOL instead and heading to South Korea to teach English at a university. Coding became just a hobby. Kind of skipping some steps in there but this isn't the most important stuff.

At one point I cut my hair very short. Like, guy short. I loved it. I went down to my brother's wedding, where I was going to be one of the bridesmaids, and my dad threw a fit. Like, his face was livid and red when he saw me. How *dare* I cut my hair that short, I was going to ruin my brother's wedding and all the pictures! He forced me to go get it permed. PERMED. It was SHORT. I looked ridiculous. I hated it. I threw away all the pictures they gave me. I think it would have looked great the way it was. I didn't go back or talk to my dad for a long time.

Soooo I eventually got married to a guy at 27 and had a baby. Turned out the guy I married was abusive. I did *not* see the red flags that were there. Part of this I chalk up to never having been taught about abuse before. Part of it I chalk up to wanting to stop feeling strange and be "normal" (which in my mind at the time still meant married with kids), and so I was okay with rushing a bit, and part of it was because the abuse didn't really pile on until I was pregnant, at which point it took a long time for me to realize what it was. I must have read a thousand "how to know if your spouse is abusive" articles, checklists, and websites before it finally got past my barriers and sunk in.

It escalated a lot after the baby was born. Got physical before the baby was 1 year old. Afraid for both our lives, I filed for divorce and that was finalized when the baby was 18 months--almost 10 years ago, now. I got custody of the baby.

So for a while there I was really in a bad space of taking care of a baby as a single parent, going to counseling for having been abused, working, trying to figure out my future, etc. He had messed up my finances as part of the abuse. (I was back in the states by this time.) I didn't live near family. Didn't want to, to be honest. My dad told me the only reason my husband left me was because I didn't wear enough makeup and I "talked back" too much. Yeah. Right. I told him about the abuse. I told him *I* was the one who filed for divorce. He didn't care. From that point on I stopped staying at his house or seeing him at all when I visited my brother and his family or my grandma, who all live there. My sister had run away at 17 because of our dad. She and I still kept in touch. She was a nurse and moved around a lot, and also worked abroad at times. Sorry. I'm talking about her in the past tense because she passed last year from cancer. She was so amazing.

Ok. Sorry. Rambling. In my head it all ties together but I don't know how confusing this is to anyone reading it. Sorry.

So then there was COVID. And then after COVID my sister moved in with me, and then she got sick and I was her caretaker, and then she passed. All that to say, you might be asking, like so how did you go from 30 to 40 without realizing or thinking about anything? Well, because I was busy, haha. I was healing from abuse, I was a single mom of a preschooler during COVID, I was taking care of my terminally ill sister.

But now my kid is older and doesn't need all my time as much as they did when they were little. Now my sister has passed and I'm getting out of the grieving stage a year later. Now COVID is still around, but it's not making us all stay at home and not socialize. Now I'm interested in dating.

But now I'm also more educated (because I wanted to be, I read some books and followed some YouTubers and lurked in lgbt and trans subreddits) - because for a while I thought maybe I'm actually a lesbian. Even though that sounds crazy because I've stressed this whole time I've *always* been attracted to guys. But sometimes I guess the mind doesn't know what it's looking for so it latches onto random stuff. But so for a while, I thought maybe I'm a lesbian. Because I have also sometimes found, I don't know, strong kick-ass women attractive. Sexually. When I was younger I thought that was because they were "like men." When I was older I thought huh, well, everyone's on a sexuality spectrum so it's not out of the question you might find some women attractive. I never dated a woman though. But I also less and less wanted to date men. I wanted to sleep with men. But I didn't want to have the same experiences as in college and find myself not wanting to be a girlfriend.

About a year and a half ago, during my sister's illness, I was really stressed out and I took to porn, lol. Might not have been the healthiest thing mentally but I console myself it could have been worse if I had turned to alcohol or drugs. Sorry that sentence might sound really judgy. I'm not trying to say porn is inherently bad and I'm also not trying to shame anyone who struggles with substance abuse. Just kind of stream of thought. Anyway. But I hated, and I mean *hated* the cis straight porn. I hated how the women were treated. I hated how they acted. I hated how the guys acted. I hated it all. Gay porn ads were on the site. I clicked over. Oh my god.

And so for a year and a half I've only watched mlm porn. I've only read mlm books. I've only watched mlm shows. In all of my imaginings I'm no longer only a man, I'm a gay man. And in my dreams--which in the past I was a guy having sex with women, now it's with men. And now I want to date but I don't want to be a girlfriend.

And as I look back over all these things I have come to think... huh. Well. Huh. Am I trans? Like, am I a gay guy?

Did I just never know, because I didn't even hear the word "trans" until my mid-20s, and it took me a long time to even have the headspace and clarity to try to learn about it and suss all this out because other things in my life happened that took all my mental energy? Are all the reasons I gave myself for all the things I felt and imagined and wanted when I was younger just the only things I could think of at the time given my upbringing, and if I were born 20 years ago instead of 40 years ago, would I even question if I were trans or not, or would I just know? Are those things gender dysphoria? I never knew the term until I started watching YouTube and lurking on reddit. I wouldn't say I was ever suicidal because of any of those things. They bothered me, sure.

I don't even know what I'd do if I am actually trans. Absolutely no idea. It's just been several months now pondering all this and I thought I might now have enough clear in my head to even frame the question to ask you guys. Thanks for your thoughts, if any. Thanks for reading all that, at any rate. Have a wonderful day!

We finally had the talk. As expected, we decided it was best to go our separate ways. Canon transmasc event I guess.

It sucks. But it also feels like I’ve finally stopped trying to force the beach ball under the water. It’s just there. It’s done. No more overthinking.

Yeah, it’s gonna hurt. But honestly, delaying on having this talk hurt me way worse than finally ripping off the bandaid. I’ve never had depression quite so bad as when I was trying to force myself to be “normal” for him.

I’ll cry, and I’ll grieve, but I think my new life can finally begin now.

I don't want to make cis guy friends and later find out they're transphobic. I also think since I have a gf, having girls as friends isn't super respectful apart from they would likely not share my interests (also could be transphobic).

And trans people are few and far between, so it's kinda hard to relate to anyone.

Every "friend" I seem to make I only seem to keep at surface level and keep at an arms distance.

I'm tired of being lonely, but I'm also tired of being misunderstood.

I'm just kinda scared to make friends tbh. Being trans makes me paranoid of people cause anyone could be normal until they find out I'm something they hate.

Any advice in dealing with these feelings and this issue would be much appreciated.

I don't wanna walk around with trans pride pins or something to try to make friends cause I'd probably get beat up haha.

So I’m getting a hysterectomy in a few days and I’m also getting my ovaries out both for my transition and for medical necessity but I’m curious about how a trans masc body reacts to losing the ovaries in terms of the changes to the vulva and clit since I’ve been reading about the changes that happen during menopause to prepare for the possible changes I’ll face. I’ve read that the labia can deflate almost and that the clit can do everything from shrink to lose sensitivity. Has anyone here experienced these surgeries that can share what changed for them?

Specifically chest and stomach hair? I’m almost three years in and I’ve just started getting “happy trail” hair on my belly and I love it SO much. No chest hair yet but I’m not impatient. Curious as to how long it took you guys. It should be noted that the men in my family aren’t crazy hairy so my expectations are somewhat tempered there. I’m stoked with how much I’ve got so far.