r/ftm

I haven’t seen a lot of people talk about this, I’m only 4 days on T (very early days I know) but I feel like any minor changes I’ve noticed (slight body odour change, tingling sensation in my groin, slight lower back ache) I am worried it’s all just placebo, is this normal to feel early on? Just wanted to know since I haven’t read about this before! :)

Anyone know of how I can just get a surgery letter? Like pay a fee or something? I have one but need one more my other one expired and if would cost over $300 for them to write it since they’re no longer in network with my insurance.

the other night, sunday 10/04, i had came out and told my boyfriend how i was feeling regarding my mental health and how i felt it correlated to my gender identity. Since I was in about elementary school I had knew something was not right, that I wasn't a girl or not exactly a girl. Since I had access to the internet (which was younger than i shouldve had access to it) i posed as a boy, tried to allign myself in male online spaces, and would find myself really uncomfortable presenting or being percieved as female or feminine.

As i grew i was able to label myself, in my time online i posed as a boy and got into my first long term relationship, but I had lied about my age to my partner at the time, so when the time came to reveal my age it didnt occur to me that i could still identify as a boy, and decided to reveal myself as a girl as well. I identified as a cis lesbian for a while, but our relationship fell out around the time i entered my freshman year of highschool.

And around then I reimeresed myself into online communities, finally labeling myself as a trans man and finally feeling confident, i entered a t4t mlm relationship and that was maybe the happiest i had been in a while. I identified as such from my freshman year until my junior year, around that time me and my partner at the times friendgroup falling out, and there on me and him falling out as well.

I continued on w school, all my irl friends knowing and accepting me and socially transitioning relatively well, i was even toying with the idea of starting T. And then I met my current partner, who is a cis, pansexual man, and everything sort of flipped on its head. He is my first IRL boyfriend ever, the man I lost my virginity to, and we have lived with each other for around a year now. When we first started talking, it was over instagram, and I was very open with who I was. He knew this. But part of me thinks he never truly accepted or agknowledged it in his head, choosing to look past it. Because then we hooked up, and later officially got into a relationship, after that point we had plenty of conversations regarding gender and sexuality, of which he had some questionable opinions and takes... but i think the rose colored glasses were so thickly painted that i decided i was willing to let a part of me be pushed aside so that i could be his partner.

our relationship is far from perfect, we have had plenty of ups and downs, some normal and some making me question the integrity and what our relationship is actually based upon. This finally leads me to talk about that night, where i told him in short that i was very depressed, thinking frequently about death and the likes, and how i wasnt happy with how i saw myself, how i wish i was a boy or looked like one. it was a very messy situation, i don't even remember what started the topic of conversation, ive been saying a lot of out of pocket things recently while inebriated, and i think i mustve said something about my mental health that led us onto that topic, and so on and so fourth.

anyhow. he proceeds to tell me that he loves me, and how he supports me no matter what, and says "but, youre not thinking of like, taking testosterone or getting like, surgery... right?" and when i answer "maybe" he gets really quiet, and im still crying on the edge of our bed, just waiting for something anything. He tells me essentially, that he is still pansexual, but that he doesnt think he can date and be romantic with me if I am going to transition. I sort of lose it atp, i mean i dont want to lose him, i dont want to be without him, especially because he would be one of the only people i have that would support me in my transition, my family being either negatively indifferent or outright unsupportive of the idea. So im trying to bargain with him and plead for him to just forget i said anything, he just dismisses the topic and focuses on consoling me instead, and we eventually fall asleep.

in the morning, i dress and go to work, kiss him goodbye and say nothing about it. When i get home, we go about at usual. We dont talk about it, except some comments here and there. and then this morning while im getting ready he asks if i want to talk, i decline because if im honest im really scared to talk about it, and way too mf early for that shit. So now i'm sitting at work and lowkey contemplating my entire life.

im wondering what i should do moving forward, questioning my transness, questioning the legs our relationship stands on, questioning if i do decide to transition if it is the right decision, if i will be ruining my life or finally starting it. im wondering if there are any other people in my position or were before, and what they did? what page can i take from your book? im a mess, and im hoping i can save things and still be who i feel i need to be.

apologies this post is a mess and some things might not correlate 😭 im just writing as things come to my brain, trying to include context to my life and therefor my situation.

edit: i don't know if anyone will be interested or that invested, but i will probably update here or make a completely seperate part 2 update when we talk, as i needa hype myself up to do ts im sweating bullets dancing around it. thank you all for sharing your experiences, your advice, kindness, even the bluntness is welcomed. i need it, i needed a wakeup call. i want to be able to post on this sub again with updates on my transition, not continuous sad advice asks. i want to be able to report to yall that im getting my first binder, going to my first queer bar once i turn 21, my appointment for my first T shot. I want to share the good, moving forward, i dont want to constantly ask for help about the bad as it happens. if i make a bad or unwise decision after this regarding my relationship or unregarding it, i wont constantly complain. as ive made my bed. but i want to live my truth, live my full life, live as i know i should be. and im excited for that possibility!!!! making this post has given me more strength than i have known, thank you all.

The one thing that was helping me most to keep some bit of hope through my current life is that I was finally able to take small steps towards possibly getting HRT, I was so excited to finally start since dysphoria is killing me alive everyday, but now our rights might just be completely stripped away from us. So many politicians were elected merely because they promise to fight "gender ideology" instead of doing anything actually useful, some guy (Nikolas Ferreira) who literally put on a wig to mock trans women and say transphobic shit during a women's day speech at the chamber of deputies, for example, was elected, and now the son of basically our brazillian version of Trump (Bolsonaro) might win the elections. They will try to deprive our public health system, which is the only way so many people (including me) are able to get access to HRT. I unfortunately won't be able to get it anymore if they do this, and we might soon not be able to rectify our documents anymore. It's already hard being trans in Brazil, we are the country with the most trans people getting killed because of the violence around here, but at least we always had the biggest healthcare system on our side, and now we might just lose it. I feel miserable.

Hey guys. So I start T next week and I'm over the moon. However, my family is severely transphobic and I will be keeping it secret from them. I'm only planning to be on it for 6 months ish - has anyone managed to be on T successfully without family finding out?

I'm a college student so I live away from home (but I return for a month at Christmas and Spring break). I'm worried about the changes being obvious since they don't see me every day, but I do video call them around twice a week and visit home almost monthly.

I came out to my parents 6 years ago, they went insane with just raw fear and anger and started becoming super controlling over my every move - but eventually forced me to admit it was a phase and I just fake agreed and went hyperfem. I'm presenting masc again now, but we haven't spoken about it since.

I'm not convinced they understand what HRT is, they think being trans is all surgeries and I didn't correct them. This said, it probably will make the conclusion of "you must be taking testosterone" difficult to jump to, right? I managed to hide a 3 year lesbian relationship as a teenager simply because my parents hadn't considered that their kid being gay was even an option.

I don't know if I'm delusional for thinking that speaking in a high voice and shaving my face every day is gonna work but I'd feel better hearing accounts from people who have managed it... or equally, those who got caught. 😬

A few months ago I got a job as a caregiver. It’s been a wild ride. However my company has disclosed that I am trans to two of my clients with out my consent. I have never even been asked about something like that. Some clients they don’t but the clients who are private and pay a lot the owner has disclosed that I am trans. I only realized when this last client yesterday asked me “so you’re trans? Is that something you are comfortable with talking about?” Which was our first day together and no one told me that she knows I’m trans.
(This woman was extremely nice she used to work as a psychiatrist and helped many men come out as gay and accept themselves in the 70s-90s so she was great but still.)

I know with caregiving a client can choose gender and have specific things and that I understand. I live in California (LA) however I am pretty sure it is an extreme crime for them to disclose that with out my consent? My legal name is still super feminine, and I haven’t changed my gender marker, but I do pass (and all the employees and my clients who know are like “wow you look like man I wouldn’t have guessed!” So nice /s.) they do not use my legal name and give clients my preferred name.

Because if a client wanted a woman and I showed up they would be like wtf. So now I’m debating how hard I want to go after them for this. Because I am sick of being treated differently because I know they are probs not telling clients about their sexualities, race, or religion. I am their first trans worker somehow so they are just being so bad.

Which makes since, I am questioning my gender but if I am a man (or something transmasce) it's not something I choose it's just who I am.

I wanted to ask other trans people if they got that question and how they responded to it.

I want to clarify my family asking that doesn't upset me that much because I'm sure they mean well, and are curious.

I always explain when asked it's not something someone chooses. I think I get asked that more than "why do you want to be a pokemon trainer" which is not like being trans just something I also wish I was.

I wonder if that's the best response to that and is respectful. It's not really all about what you want but who you are.

Hi all. Sorry if this is the wrong flair, I don’t post here much.
This is targeted towards a pretty specific demographic of ftm/transmascs in pittsburgh, pennsylvania, but I thought it could be important information for people outside of this area too.

My current provider for medication to suppress my period is UPMC, and for context, I’m currently 17. Recently they were paid almost a million dollars to stop gender affirming care for people under 19 for 10 years.
I already knew this, but was unsure how it would affect me (until a couple hours ago).

Earlier today, I went to a doctor to ask for a refill on said medication. I was told all of a sudden that I would no longer be able to receive this medication, anything like it, or ANY form of birth control because I have been diagnosed with gender dysphoria. Because of that diagnosis, even something like birth control is now unavailable to me as it now falls under gender affirming care.

I don’t know if this has affected anyone else, but I thought some people would find it useful to know that this is happening. That’s all :(

I started university last week and it's a bit of a weird situation because I'm still using my deadname and feminine pronouns with the professors but I've been using masculine pronouns on myself in conversations with other students. I can see people are confused but I don't correct them because they'll figure it out eventually. The weird thing is though the guys I've met seem to gender me correctly like it's completely normal to them. The girls seem to overthink it more and then misgender me sometimes. I just thought it was weird since I wasn't expecting it to be that way but it's nice that the guys don't care. Feels good lol. Was just wondering if this is a thing that other people have noticed too?

I am a trans woman and have been dating a trans man for 3 months we’ve talked about having sex and it will happen eventually but I don’t know if he will feel anything during it when he penetrates me. He doesn’t have bottom surgery so will he feel anything if so how will the sensation be? A lot or not a lot ?

Putting nsfw tag bc of bottom growth mention.

Whenever I pee, I tend to wipe around my bottom growth kinda aggressively by accident almost every time. Am I doing harm to my little guy down there without realizing? Will that cause issues with nerves down there too over time? Bc i’m worried it already has. Has it happened to anyone before? I’m just concerned.

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After watching this reel https://www.instagram.com/reel/DeF7upKOC-1/?stkn=bjFnMzM1aDlpemNi and doing some quick research I discovered that apparently minoxidil can be lethal for pets, especially cats and dogs. The guy in the video said he unfortunately had to put his cat down after it came into contact with minoxidil.

I personally don't have pets and don't take minoxidil, but I know a lot of trans guys take it for beard growth and this seems like very important information to share.

In case this needs to be said: I am not saying not to take minoxidil nor shaming anyone for taking it. I was unaware that it could be so dangerous to pets when it seems to be completely fine for humans. I'm hoping that, if this is actually true, sharing this video amd information will prevent further animal deaths. Please do your own research and apply the necessary amount of suspicion to any information you get online.

back at this again cause I’m bored and I also want to share and to show young teens that they don’t have to pick between their transition and sports.

I am a trans man who is a diver at a Liberal arts college. i am currently majoring in psychology + poli Sci with a concentration in education seeking license

I have practice 5 times + 2 team weight lifting a week. I have also been on T for 6 months and for all intents and purposes, pretty much 100% stealth even with my team

ama

eta: mods, feel free to DM for proof

I'm a 25 year old trans man who's pre T and my whole life has been a struggle of looking like a little boy (or girl) to people. Like people often mistake me through the ages of 10-14 and I'm getting really tired of it. T0T For example: I was at a faire and had an alcoholic beverage in my hand when a vendor called out to me, pulled me aside and verified my age cause she thought I was a minor, even with the "21 and over" bracelet on me. That happened THREE times in one day. I am pre T due to safety concerns in my current set up, so I am completely unsure on how to read as an adult to other adults. Even literal kids/teens mistake me for their age. I showed a picture, side by side, to my friend of when I was 14 and now 25 and she literally said I looked YOUNGER than I did before. Like HOW?? Without T I feel like I'm just stuck reading as a little kid to people, but I also can't just go get it in my current situation. Do people have tips? I usually dress in casual clothes such as graphic tees, either skinny jeans or baggy cargo pants. My partner (40) said he's also getting really tired of people mistaking me for a minor cause it makes him uncomfortable, so this is also affecting my relationship. I apologize if this type of post isn't allowed!

started T in january, june was my last period. and it is now october. i dont get any period symptoms anymore not even PMS or cramping (i did in july but no bleeding). i’m still getting a hysto (have consult next month) because having a uterus is still dysphoric, even if it’s not producing blood.

i always have a constant fear of it coming back. kind of like preT when your period was late and you’re afraid of it starting when ur out somewhere doing something. for this reason i am on TOP of my T shots. based on your experiences, how likely is this to happen?

I need some advice. I took 750 mg of testosterone undecanoate. A female friend told me that I should take the full dose, then another dose after a week, and then another one 3 months later.

I just talked to an older trans guy, and he told me that I had made a huge mistake, that the testosterone would convert into estrogen, and that the dose I took at once was too high.

Is that actually true? I’m doing this on my own, without medical supervision, and this was my first time.

I took 750 mg of testosterone undecanoate (250 mg/mL, 3 mL), a long-acting intramuscular testosterone injection. The brand name in Egypt is Testeriol.

I've read the rules and I think I'm okay to shout this out here - apologies if not!

I made a post a couple days ago asking if there's an online space for FTM/transmasc bears out there, and alas didn't have much luck. But!! I can see there's definitely people interested, so I went ahead and made my own sub for this specific identity. If you're interested, it's r/transbearbrotherhood !

This is for all who identify with the label, are curious about being a bear, or aspire to be one. I hope this can be a supportive place for us all to uplift each other and leave our mark - I don't want our identity to wash away with the sands of time. Let's take up some space together, brothers <3

Original post:

https://www.reddit.com/r/ftm/s/BmDBBjxRTA

Update: had my first therapy session today and this whole shebang came up so I talked about this.

I'll refer to my kid as L or 'they/them'. The reason I'll do that is bc they said they weren't sure, its just confusing. They also said they prefer L for now because of how they feel.

I spoke to them today. I took them out after their tea (dinner to Americans 😁) for a dessert.

One problem that really really worried me was that school called L's Mum and said they might need to come home because of their mental health. They didn't call me, so that was a little upsetting because her Mum didn't tell me at all.

Anyway, when we got in the car we had a chat -

I told them that all this is new to me, and I'm sorry i made them feel upset about it, and that i'm going to mess up sometimes but I am trying.

I asked how they were feeling, what happened at school - they said the school counsellor kept asking them questions about it and because they're already confused, it really upset L.

I asked what it is that's confusing them, and they said the whole thing - they used to feel like Lily but hasn't in about a year. Recently they feel 'wrong' when someone calls them a girl, and that its confusing because some days they aren't sure, and some days they feel more like a boy. I asked which it leans towards and they said Leo, and i told them that its fine. I said that if they are Leo, we'll love them; if they ever feel like Lily, we'll love them, or if they settle on in between, we'll love them.

Ive been doing a bit of research so I told them that they don't have to be locked into either, there's non binary and genderfluid (i think that's where it can flow between the two ends iirc).

I told them that I'd love them even if they were Lily or Leo, or in between. I said that all i want is for them to be comfortable and i dont want them to feel like they're alone, or that they're scared to talk to me about things. I dont want L only being able to feel safe talking to a counsellor, I want them to feel safe talking to me.

Anyway, sometimes L shuts down when they're asked about things, so I took her a notepad and wrote 'L__'s feelings/notes' on it and told them that if they wanna tell me something and dont feel comfy saying it, they can write it down instead.

We then got milkshakes.

That's my update - I'm still feeling raw about it and my therapist said that its perfectly normal to grieve the loss of my daughter, but that i needed to remember that I haven't lost the person that they are and that love will always be there. I think that helped a lot, its going to be my own thing i need to work through

Hi guys,

I got my uterus, both ovaries, and cervix removed on April 9th, 2026. I was already taking testosterone at that time and still am. (1 pump of gel daily). As of writing, it is now October 6th, 2026. I understand that it can take a long time for hormones to settle.

However I feel so unstable and have felt this way for a while. Tbh I probably always had bad hormones (suspected intersex) so idk when exactly it started-started. I feel so depressed suddenly in a way that I cannot reason with nor really distract myself from. My libido is crazy which is fun at least but different. Hot flashes, nipple pain and discharge, and for some reason I can only sleep after 1 am. Ugh.

I've been keeping in touch with my doctors (GP and hormone provider) and have an endocrinologist appointment in December. So far nothing has risen a red flag. My tests are all normal. T and estrogen levels are normal for a male. Etc.

Is there anything I can do? I tried asking my mom for advice but her menopause was uneventful so she's no help. Also how much longer did it take you guys to feel ok.?