r/FTMventing

People act like invisibility is like a form of protection that prevents us from experiencing violence/bigotry, but it doesn't work like that. The invisibility happens after we've already experienced violence. Like how when we're murdered specifically for being trans men, it almost is never reported, and if it is, we're misgendered and dead named and gets labeled a murder against a cis woman. How data undershoots the amount of violence we experience and how we're underrepresented in research because people assume there are way less trans men than trans women so we get labeled as cis women. And it's not like trans women never experience invisibility/erasure either, so why do people act like it's some non issue that only winy trans men complain about?

I don't have anything really profound to say, just frustrated and needed to get this off my chest.

TW: dying, mention of death.

I hate how people are becoming more transphobic or shit on trans people because mate I trust you if I had a choice I would NOT be a guy, like no I did not want to cry myself to sleep almost every night as a child bout being a girl or beg to a god I dont believe in to transform me into a guy as I sleep and wipe the memories of me being a girl and replace them of me being a boy in everyones memories before going to sleep and waking up with desperate hope only to be disappointed, I did not chose nor want to feel like an intruder in my own skin and not recognize the face as my own when staring at it in the mirror cause it belongs to a girl who is long dead.

I do not want nor chose to stare at guys and hear their stories of childhood or normal memories and feel pure unfiltered hatred that they got something I never did by being a boy, I do not chose to hold hostility towards my kid cousins just cause they were born boys and I wasnt. I do not wish to have the urge to scream in my mothers face and cry in her arms begging her why she couldn’t of had a son so I couldve been born a boy, I do not chose to desperately wish to be intersex so I can be closer to being male than female.

I dont chose any of this shit, I dont want to feel anything I do but I do and I cant fucking control that. I dont chose to desperately beg that when I die that if recarnation is possible I am reborn as a boy so I can finally be the real me, I dont want to think bout dying all the fucking time because people hate that I exist and are more than happy to kill me for being trans. The fact they think being trans is a choice is genuinely infuriating.