u/Adventurous_War_5987

hey all!! i’m a 20 year old trans man. for context, i do still live with my dad, my dad isn’t transphobic but is really awkward about the topic, and he is also extremely hardheaded about things he believes in. he’s known i was trans for 2 years since my college enrollment email outed my name to him.

my dad is very sure that letting me go on hrt would pose a risk to my health because of past experiences that lead to my mom’s death. long story short, she had arthritis and took medication to suppress the pain, but said medication left her more prone to developing cancer and of course the ~1% chance happened to her and they caught it too late. he’s just scared for me and doesn’t want to lose me from a medical risk that happened before, which i totally understand, but me and my gender therapist have both told him that going on hormones is a completely different idea. he refuses to believe it despite research and doesn’t want me on hormones, end of story. (i do look almost identical to my mom, which i think plays a part in his feelings as well as much as he wouldn’t want to admit it.)

now, all of that discussion happened back when i was 18 and i’ve just played nice and done it his way. but i’m so sick of living like this. going to a woke college and wanting to present as my real authentic self sounded like a perfect future, but looking like this makes me feel like a mess and it’s stunting me emotionally to unbelievable levels. i just feel like stuck and i can’t do anything about it. i know i don’t need to physically transition to be myself, but i just want to be who i envision. i’m sick of living in limbo for someone else

but here comes the other issue: my dad and i are finally on good terms after a lot of battles in my teenage years mostly over his evil ex. i finally feel like we’re in a good spot and i don’t want to break the peace by going behind his back. but he’s made it abundantly clear i cannot start hrt if he has anything to do with it. i don’t know what to do

any advice is appreciated. thank you for your time and i love you all 🫶

hey all! i (20M) lost my cat of 17 and a half years on july 14th. i love him and miss him lots, but it was definitely his time. ive learned something about myself from multiple bad periods in my life that if i am away from a cat for too long it genuinely starts effecting and amplifying my depression and worsening my mood overall. within the past 10ish days, the grief, anger, and overall anxiety is hitting me extremely hard.

i’ve been looking around at shelters and petsmarts to make myself feel better by playing with cats, but one cat i met on wednesday really struck me as a cat that is perfect for me. the issue is: i still live with my dad (59M) and brother (24M), but my brother is abroad in japan until next march. however, since the passing of our cat, he wanted to come home next week to boost his energy. the problem comes from him wanting us to wait until he comes back in a week, but at the risk of us losing the window to adopt this cat since he is a kitten and they go quite fast. i don’t want to risk losing him, however i understand my brothers hesitation to getting another cat as he wants to be involved. when things were a bit heated earlier, he called me selfish for wanting to get this cat without him present.

the future of this cat would be almost entirely with me however. he would only be home over college breaks as i would bring him with me as an emotional support animal (i don’t have the forms in place yet, but i will be once adopting a cat). i don’t want to risk losing this cat but i don’t want to make my brother feel like shit either. would i be the ahole for bringing this cat home before he comes back?

hey all!! i do not currently have a mantis, but i’ve wanted to keep one for years now. what species would you recommend for a beginner? can isopods work as a cleanup crew or just springtails? would an exoterra 8”x8”x12” work well for a mantis? any advice is appreciated! i dont want to rush into anything without ample information :]