r/internetparents

I’ve been driving myself crazy over this. I (F19) have been friends with this woman (F32) for a few months now. She’s from the UK and I’m from the US. Usually I’m pretty good at ignoring my feelings, but she’s, like, my best friend? So I spend a lot of time around her, and I talk about her a lot. To the point I’m irritating my friends. And she’s sneaking words into my vocab, especially British terms.

The issue I’m having is that.. I don’t really want to tell her; I’m scared of making her uncomfortable - because she’s the older one which means people will say she needs to be the responsible one and they could accuse her of being a groomer / pedo? - and I’m terrified of losing her as a friend. But I’m going crazy without her knowing. She keeps doing things that fluster me.

I keep trying to talk myself out of liking her. Like, reminding myself that she’s 32, lives in the UK, has 2 kids and has a partner.. I’ve almost been purposefully trying to find issues with her. But nothing works. And it feels like the feelings only get stronger.

I’m getting kind of frustrated, honestly. Most of what’s past this (aside from the last paragraph) is kinda ranting?

She has a partner - though at this point I’m not sure what’s up with him. She’s never used a term like ‘boyfriend’ or ‘husband’, and yesterday he made a joke that I was his ‘competition’ and asked me to treat her well? I was so flustered the first time it was said i had to pretend I didn’t hear him.

She also likes to joke about being together. She jokes that I’m her girlfriend to her friends a lot. We also play a game together where we both main two characters that are canonically dating and play into thst sometimes. It also feels like she’s slipping in little terms of endearment? Like, yesterday morning I had a text from her with ‘baby girl’ in it, and she said she wanted to play a joke on her friend that involved full-sending the ‘dating’ joke, which meant using those terms more. I’m also about 70% sure I heard her call me a nickname based on my name earlier today. But I could totally be projecting too.

Basically what I’m saying is I’m going crazy because I really don’t want to tell her I have feelings but I’m completely lost on what she thinks of our relationship. It’s been frustrating to me because to an extent it kind of feels like flirting ? But I’m scared I’m projecting and I’m scared I’ll lose her if I say anything. She already got called a pervert once over this, I don’t react to risk things. I just.. do I keep hiding it? Hope it goes away? Do I ask her what she thinks it is? Do I wait a couple years until it’s a bit more socially acceptable? I feel like something closer to 21 & 34 is more acceptable to people but I’m scared of driving myself crazy if I accept the feelings but don’t let myself.. do anything? I don’t know.

Edit: thank you all so much. I think I’m going to pull back and try to learn to deal with it. I’m not gonna tell her. The longer I settle the more it feels like any possible outcome to it other than ignoring it is horrible. I think I’ll treat it as practice for how to deal with feelings I can’t pursue. I still want to be friends with her

My boyfriend and I have been together for 8ish months and I’m going to be meeting his parents in a few weeks. I’m afraid they’re going to ask me (or joke around with me) when we’re getting married or if I’m moving to where he lives out of state (my non-negotiable from the beginning has been that I’m not moving). I had told my boyfriend to make sure he talks to his parents beforehand about not asking these types of questions since we’re taking our time enjoying our relationship since it’s only been 8 months, however, I’m afraid they might still ask. They’re the type of traditional parents that would try to rush their kids into getting married asap. What’s a good respectful honest response and/or advice on how to answer these tough questions when meeting the parents for the first time?

I am currently going through a separation with two kids and I feel very alone. I could do with some parental support, I don’t really have it. My mother isnt in the picture and my dad is mostly checked out.

I’m 32 with two young kids and this is the scariest thing I’ve ever done. My partner and I were together 8 years and it was one hell of a ride due to his substance abuse issues. I tried very hard to make this work and help him but it got too much and I have to walk away.

I am so scared to do this. I have very few friends and family hasn’t been very supportive. I’ve been a stay at home mom for most of this so my circle is very small to non existent. My ex and I are on good terms thank goodness but I still just feel so alone with no one to talk to and I wish like hell I had a mother to give me a hug and help me through this. Everything is changing and although I know it’s the right thing to do I find myself second guessing everything because I have no one beside me to hold my hand.

I’ve recently found that one of the younger members of my big friend group does not have a bank account and is possibly being prevented from having one. She lives with her mother and I have reason to believe things are bad at home. She is in her early 20s but behaves much younger and is regularly written off as “a kid” by the group. She is a very trusting and naive young woman.

I fear these things put her at-risk for a variety of reasons.

How can I help her or connect her with help? Are there services that will help her get things like a bank account, I mean even just empower her to be aware of what her rights are as an adult? Like CPS for adults?

The last thing I want is to intervene too heavily and see her kicked out.

I am currently 25 making around $1600 per month and I live paycheck to paycheck. The majority of my money goes to food because I love to eat. I do workout 3 times a week and I do flips sometimes but I just love food. I don't have a car yet so I was renting cars just for a few days to do stuff and I did that 3 times already. I have one friend and I'm single so i just be bored. I'm always somewhere at a cafe or restaurant and I usually am not home for most of the day. When l'm in those establishments I usually just play Roblox or watch TikTok or YouTube videos. I dont have any goals that I really want to achieve but I do need to move out soon which means I have to find myself making more money or saving more money. How do I get out of this situation?

UPDATE: It's final, she's being sent to the hospital after finals, apparently. I don't know if she'll come back, or if she does, I don't know if we'll ever talk again.

Recently, my online best friend has been going through a lot. I've known them for 5 years now, nearly 6, and I'm so scared to be without them. I don't know how to handle it. They have mental health issues they haven't been able to resolve, and it only keeps getting worse. As a result, their mom is threatening to either call a psychiatrist or send them to a hospital. The issue is that they don't want that help at all.

If that happens, they'll probably rarely talk to me again. Actually, even if it doesn't happen, their poor mental health will probably strike and cause the same thing. Then, they'll delete and disappear from every social media I know they have. They might even block my cell number too. My birthday is next month and I might have nobody close to me celebrate with, because I've never had many friends.

I just need some words of comfort or anything, advice to move on, maybe? It's so hard, I'm someone who's very emotional and clings onto any small memory of everyone I've ever loved/appreciated.

Simple and sweet; I'm becoming an angry, deadbeat and controlling abuser.

There's this quote I recently read and it's just really hit me.

"If you're raised with an angry man in your house, there will always be an angry man in your house. You will find him even when he's not there.”

Like I always knew I was angry and violent. But this just really hit me with how bad I've become.

To be honest I'd say I'm a classic example of having an abusive father. I get very angry and emotional easily. And it's the type where I can't think at all, I don't think till it's over and done. I crave for control over the people I love and when I can't I punish them with silent treatment and mockery. I don't do anything either. I like to say it's the depression but honestly I don't really know if it is anymore.

I destroy things in my anger, and I'm always yelling and shouting and complianing and saying very harsh things. My tone is off, my words are rough and mean. I'm entitled too. More than I'd like to admit.

I sound and act so much like him. And I'm so very scared. I don't want to be him. I don't...but I never make progress. I haven't made any progress or changes. I'm still so mean and violent.

I'm not sure what I'm asking for, honestly I'm just stuck being the bad kind of loser. Maybe advice, stories or anything really. Just...is it too late for me.

This is a burner account. I do not want this tied to my normal account. I'm not a bot of any kind.

Important things to throw out: I'm disabled. I'm queer. My partner is also, but is more capable than me. My mother is also disabled, but capable. We have a roommate who is also disabled, but capable. I am the least capable out of the four of us due to heart problems. I apologize if this post is uncoordinated. I'm a mess, I'm lost.

Me and my partner use they/them pronouns. My mother and roommate use she/her.

I'm 20 years old and have been in a shitty, sticky, abusive situation with my family from day one. I'm no-contact with my dad for the past 8 years, not by choice, and have been isolated from everyone except my mothers parents and her brother. Every friend I ever had was ridiculed and chased away from me by my mother. She would say things about them to me, to their parents, or to their face that made them steer away from me because nobody wanted to deal with her.

My partner moved in with me this year, I had a good relationship with my mom at the time and we were both in good standing with decent jobs and a vehicle for each of us. A month after my partner moved in, my mom got into an accident that totaled her car and lost her job the same week. That week, she made me quit my job and give her my car to "take to work." She wasn't working. I lost my job for nothing. I have been unable to work since March.

Ever since her accident she has been high stress, which I empathize with, obviously. I understand her position being the "head of the house" and having only one person working. My problem is, she comes to me and treats me like a wallet. She took my bank card without my permission and overdrew it -500 and has been committing child support fraud for the past two years. Each month, I receive 460 dollars in child support. Each month, she waits for that money to come in and balance out the negative, and then immediately takes out all of that money over again. All of this is happening under my name and without my consent. The bank knows her by first name and refuses to allow her to open an account because she has done this to them on her own account and never paid the money back.

I have no money. I have another bank account she wasn't supposed to have access to with 48 cents on it. When I got graciously sent 70 dollars by my friend for food, my mom went into my bag while I was sleeping, took the card and spent it on vapes, alcohol, and a little bit of food. Now my friends do not trust that they can send me money to help me because she steals my cards and is actively withholding one of my debit cards from me saying if I want it back I need to call the police.

My partner is working and recently received their first paycheck. My mom immediately swooped in and started demanding money, and even asked me to go behind their back and give her their debit card information. Now she's saying they need to buy her laundry soap, fill up the car with gas, fill up the lawnmower with gas, buy food, buy drinks, buy anything she wants. They, of course, said no. She has no control over their money and they are not going to be funding her dysfunctionality. If it's absolutely necessary, they'll buy it. They aren't made of money just because they have a job. She doesn't seem to understand that.

Backtrack about a month and a half. My mom has treated my partner like shit from the month they got here. We're 99% sure this is a racism issue, because we are white and my partner is black. Regardless, I got into a fight with her about this. She was running her mouth and called my partner a "mouthy little bitch", so I told her off. I said she will not be talking about my partner that way, and she blew a fucking lid. She started screaming at me saying she can talk however she wants and treat us however she wants, saying that we need to respect her because she's a 41 year old adult and we're 20 year old "kids."

She kicked me out that day. She told me to leave. I went upstairs, packed up, went to get my car. She took my car keys. I confronted her. She waved them in my face and said to give her our phones if we want my car keys. So, I called the police. She didn't expect me to do that. They made her give me my property back, of course, and I drove away but I had no where to go. As stated previously, she has been stealing thousands of dollars from me for years and I had no money. Unfortunately, I came crawling back. When I came back, she started screaming at me that my partner was "reported missing" and "was a runaway from 2024 house hopping". I asked for proof. She said "I have it I'm not giving it to you yet" Ok, so you don't have it. You know it's bullshit and I'm not that dumb.

Since then, she has been withholding my debit card from me and gave the title of MY car, in MY name, to my grandparents. She openly admitted that she did that to prevent me from being able to leave with MY car that I paid for.

We've been speaking to my partners mother for a few months, and she offered us a room in her new house she's getting next month. We thought about it and mutually agreed that we should leave earlier rather than wait like we had planned. We have a plane ticket for June 4th.

I have no idea what to do. I have no idea what to say. I have a bank account -480, and it's only located in the state I'm currently in, so I can't deposit money when I'm across the country. I don't have my car title and I'm not bringing it. I'm leaving it here. It's a car that gets you from point A to point B and nothing else, it wouldn't survive the drive.

I need help. I'm lost. I've been a tool and a pawn for my family my entire life and for the first time something is about me and what I want, what's in my best interest. I am completely paralyzed. I have never gone against my mother until recently. I'm 20 fucking years old and I still lean on her like a baby.

I'm tired of being a pawn. I'm tired of being screamed at for every little thing. I'm tired of having my money stolen from me. I'm tired of not eating for days because there's little food that she told me I'm not allowed to eat. I'm tired of her taking my car and running off with it like it's a brand new lambo. I'm tired of everyone telling me to just pack up and leave. I can't. There is no secrecy here. I'm shocked I've managed to keep it hidden from her this far. She is withholding important documents as well, like my birth certificate and highschool diploma. So I need to talk to her and get these from her before I can leave.

I have 15 days to figure this shit out. I know what I need to do, but I don't know how to get there. I'm looking up a ladder where the next step is out of reach. I don't know what to wedge between me and that step in order to get there. I need help. Please.

I’m a junior in high school and I have a pretty awful GPA. It’s 2.8 unweighted, 3.0 weighted. I was hoping my ACT score would be at least a 30, so I would still have a chance of going to college. Well, today I got the score, and it’s a 27. I don’t know what to do. I’m so lost and hopeless and sad. I know I can retake it, but I don’t know. I really tried on that test, and I seriously don’t think I can do any better than what I did. I feel like such a failure, like I let myself down. All my friends are posting their scores, and of course they all did incredible, not to mention my siblings, who both got 30s their first try. I don’t know what to do. No matter what I do, nothing makes me feel better. Thanks for reading, if you made it this far.

Hey! This is my first time posting here, I recently aged out of foster care and I am in college now. I’m moving into my first apartment in two weeks and I know this should be common sense but I’m not sure what all I’ll need for the kitchen. I’m going to have to teach myself how to cook, I can use a stove and oven but it makes me anxious because I haven’t used them much. I really want to get a cat, because it would help me a lot but I’m not sure how to take care of one. I lived in foster homes with cats and know how to change the litter box, and feed them but not sure about vet visits, and what shots they need / when to get those.

I would say that my personal hygiene is good, but I don’t take very good care of myself. I eat lots of junk food and I’d like to know what are some quick meals I can make that are healthy. I have more questions about doing my hair and makeup, but I’m just really embarrassed for needing to ask.

If you don’t have anything nice to say please just don’t comment. I am trying to build a life for myself from scratch. It’s not easy when you’re in college with no safety net. Very exhausting, I go to therapy but it’s not the same as having a mom to hug you and let you know it will be okay :/

I'm a rising senior so I'm in the thick of that time where I have to be scouring university options and figuring out how the hell I'm going to pay for it as well. I live in the USA and studying abroad has been on my radar for a bit...but researching it has been difficult. I've been doing my best, but it's very complicated so I want to make sure to cover all my bases.

I'm hoping to study psychology and become a therapist, ideally - but I could also see myself running a small bakery or cat cafe if I had the ability to pull money out of my ass. But psychology pays more and will probably get me further, so I'm focusing on that for now. Does anyone have recommendations for countries/universities to look into, or advice in general about this? Anything would be appreciated! I know basically nothing right now.

I figured this fit under the jobs and careers tag since university is an important part of getting a job.

I moved back home with my mom about 18 months ago. I was dealing with a chronic illness that made working full time difficult. Its horrible. For as long as I can remember my mom has constantly followed me around the house. She is obsessed with control. If I get up she gets up. Then she will be rude and act Iike I am in her way. My mom rarely speaks to me unless she needs something and holding her accountable is impossible. We are living in a tiny apartment at the moment and I have to stay until I save money. I am currently taking courses at a community college so I have to be here for a while. What do I do?

I wanted to vent. So I've been dealing with grief lately. I lost my boyfriend, it's going to be a year now in few months since this happened. It came as a shock when I got the news because I could never expect in a million years that this would happen with me. I love him so much. I was hurt in the worst way possible. It so was unbearable for me. I still don't know how to survive without him but I am trying everyday to be better. So I was thinking about my future and this sudden thought came to my mind that what if I meet someone who is broken as me like it could be anything, trauma, constant neglect, trust issues or whatever. Imagine if I were to date this person in future and they know about my past how would that made them feel? because if I try to put myself in their perspective I would feel like a replacement knowing that I could never be the person she loved so purely and still loves him, maybe it will hang on me like a constant reminder that what if she sees him in me, what if I could never be good enough for her, like her boyfriend used to be? I know past can bug a lot of people and I am one of them. Truth to be told yeah, I could never forget my boyfriend, I will always and dearly love him more than anyone but I also don't want to hurt anyone knowingly or unknowingly. Yet I will always crave for that love that I never got, I have abandonment issues and get attached to people but in the end I am always left alone, so my mind will always try to find that sort of connection but in that process what if I hurt someone? Also the mere thought of dating someone else feels like I'm unfaithful to my love and guilt comes along. Idk a lot is going on with me and feels like I am on the edge....

Try to bear with me and thanks for listening, means a lot to me.

I know it'll sound stupid to people older than me but I'm turning 24 next month and I feel like I haven't achieved even half the things I should have by now. I've only had shitty jobs and my CV sucks. It's hard to get hired for shitty jobs so the ones that suck less are absolutely out of reach. I've had some major issues involving abuse during my childhood that my friends bring up when I tell them how I feel, but I think they're not an excuse. I should have done more, I hate myself for not pushing me to do stuff and I guess it's not productive or healthy but what else can I do?? nothing? I feel like I'm already doing that... my girlfriend tells me she's proud of me because I'm trying really hard even tho my dad passed away early this year and I see the point, I know I'm struggling, but this was 5 months ago, it's not excuse for the rest of my life. I'm even more overwhelmed because I have the constant thought that "I have to make my dad proud", both because of me and because of my relatives saying that, and I don't know. I feel so damn lost. I only want a job where I'm not yelled at.

Hi everyone

Link to original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/internetparents/s/9cgsZHqWL5

Posted here a couple days ago about a guy that got really agitated with me to a point where I shut down and he got out of my car at a stoplight and walked home. I have an update since that happened.
Monday morning, at like 4 AM, he calls me because he needed to get inside the apartment complex. I forgot to mention, we met because we live in the same building. I buzz him in because I didn’t want him to get angry again, but I should’ve just left him outside. If he had the app, he could’ve buzzed himself him but I guess he’s too lazy and stupid to do even that.
Then he texted me, “Yo”. Not, “I’m sorry for what happened”, or “Thank you for letting me in”, just a “Yo”. He also tried to call me twice but I was working at the same. I felt super uncomfortable that he was trying to contact me after he told me we’d never talk again after Sunday. Then he texted me AGAIN yesterday, but all he said was “Hey”.
Part of me feels like I should at least hear him out, but another part of me wants to ghost him. His behavior was eerily similar to an ex I dated a couple years ago and I don’t want to out myself through that again. Every time I think about talking to him again, I get really anxious.

I have a co-worker who is on his mid 20s. and has good, healthy social life with his friends. They go on road trips once in a while and the usual friends stuff. So, that got me thinking. Since i graduated college many years ago and recently now that i got married. I haven't been invited to a boys night. I want to to think they are busy and settle down. I guess, the final straw is when i invited them to my birthday party many years and No one came!. very few texted me last minute that they couldn't make it. They added me to a messenger group where they mostly talk about anime or random crap. The only group i see are my university buddies and we have a group chat and we try to meet up once or twice a Month, but again is a group mostly of women and another guy.

So to try to keep this short basically me and my friend both live with our parents still, last year her and her family moved to a new area for her dads job and have a 3 year lease on the house they are renting. Unfortunately her dad got laid off and is now getting a new job in another state and they are going to move there while my friend stays in the current house since the lease isn’t up. She already talked with her parents and they are perfectly okay with putting me on the lease and having me live there so my friend isn’t alone for a year or so. Her parents will also have us pay for some of the bills along with groceries of course. Here’s my pros and cons list:

PROS:

- the house will be majority furnished i will already have a bed there as well as other necessities

- we wouldn’t be paying a lot since her parents will be paying for the lease

- her friends live in the area and i’ve met them and they seem fun and i would love to live with my friend

- ive lived with her for 2 weeks in the past and it was fun

- we’ve discussed each others boundaries and i know how she loves deep cleaning so i totally wouldn’t mind that at all

- my family is kinda toxic and ive wanted to move out for a while now

- we are very understanding of each others mental health issues

CONS:

- i don’t have a car yet and i live a few states away from her

- i have a lot of medical issues (shes aware of them but doesn’t mind) but im worried about getting setup with providers

- my mom just got out of the hostpital for alcoholism and she’s getting better so i don’t want to leave and she gets bad again (i’d feel guilty)

- i have bipolar disorder and i have lashed out on her in the past for the smallest things and it makes me feel guilty and i don’t want to end up lashing out on her again, i also don’t want to act out of impulse and accept her offer and screw everything up

- i told my mom about my friends offer to come live with her and she seemed very sad about it

Sorry if this is going to a a little rushed. I’m processing a lot of shit at once and I just need to get something out.

He’s been completely normal for my entire life. Like even in highly stressful situations he remained calm and level headed. But over the past week he made something (going to be really vague because it is actually something with potential), and it completely broke him. Like he was over excited, he was constantly working on it, he’d try and explain how/why he was doing it. And it was a little off putting, but I knew why he was as excited as he was ( He always was fond of those larger than life figures, and felt like this was his shot to be one of those). And he was able to mellow out after the initial development phase, and apologized if he went too overboard. So like it was weird, and i didn’t like it (in part because of my own moral disagreements with said product). But I wasn’t really worried.

But like ten/fifteen minutes ago he just started losing it. Not violently or anything. But he couldn’t stand still, he kept yapping about his way of thinking, I heard something about simulations, he was super paranoid (talking about stuff like newspapers/polaroids?). And was overall just acting really uncontrollable. I didn’t get the full conversation because I left to go downstairs. But like idk what to even think rn. He’s never done this before, and it happened so suddenly. Like whatever it was he was doing just enabled something inside him. It’s just a lot man.

I just need someone to talk to about this.

Are you proud of me? I try, i really did

Edit: This is a Philippine grading system, where lower GPA is better. A 1.0 is the highest grade here, while 5.0 is failing Only in colleges Edit: I forgot that we have different education systems, my bad

Hey everyone, I’m 24 and I haven’t seen any of my dreams or aspirations to the end because there’s so much I wanna do and yet I’m so terrified of failure. I believe it comes from living with my mom and having to mature quicker than I was mentally prepared for, she never wanted to work so at an early age I had to put things I wanted to do on the back burner so I could afford rent and food for us. I tried going to college five times each time online classes, each time I’ve ended up dropping out because online schooling doesn’t help me at all but I was unable to do anything else since getting reduced hours or working part time would risk us being homeless.

I’m out of that situation now, living with my girlfriend of five years even though I’m able to work part time and go to school I’m still terrified of failing again and even though I have more freedom to express myself and explore interest I still can’t bring myself to see any of them out.

Is there something wrong with me? I don’t know how to solve this issue, it makes me feel like I’m drifting through life instead of taking control.