u/swollendreams

Hello everyone, i hope you are all well.

I am male 31, living in portugal. Have most of my life now, a very small town in portugal and my life story is a long one, so here is a short version featuring the necessary key points for this post.
I was born in london and moved in my early teens, outside of bullying in school, which ive endured in both countries, i liked part of the culture overall, except for gangs and gang violencee, i just felt it was more inclusive or at least bigger, but nowadays due to brexit and what not, i have no idea truly how different the UK is, i didnt feel sad leaving back then i actually wanted to as i was in a horrible all boys school.

Growing up, my identity has been something I’ve constantly juggled back and fourth, but I’ve always been naturally more feminine, heck i had to learn masculinity, it was all learnt, because i have early on identified with femaleness more, and wanted to have been born a girl, without hating my body but many masculine facial features, hair etc triggering me, and my nature attraction to men, mostly straight, so ive been struggling for many years and believe i am transgender, whether i transition or not, another story, so i need to move somewhere lgbt and trans friendly

I have been unemployed for pretty much my whole life due to mental health, i cant stand my family, our relationship is so toxic and i just, … i need out, its killin me, but honestly with a deep depression, no friends to ask how things work, and no guidance which scares me to deathh , i also have dyscalculia (i think thats the spelling of it}? I'm mentally crap at mathsk can’t drive, and I’ve honestly never done anything like move out, ive been on couches alone for 7 hours but it was to get from my father (who i cut contact with recently) flat and my mothers, so regarding signing contracts, landlords wanting money in advance, then we know some are scammers, it all freaks me out, so i dont even get to searching for housing… ideally i should move out, but i dont want to be in thus town…

I wanna be and explore me, whoever he/she is, and work like normal people, have my own small place , like normal people, all i have is 2K in the bank, and…i need freedom, the other day i was listening to music from a uk girl band sugababes, i had a song by james blunt get stuck in my head and snow patrol, it all make me feel nostalgic and so so lost in life, in time, i need help. I dont know how the world outside of this town and country works, even safely? Where do you find housing? Which exact page of where?? And i wanna speak english my native language, i feel so fkimg lost,l.. please help me , what do i do and in what steps?

Just a question, did anyone here feel super angry irritable, easily triggered and void of any joy prior to starting transition, once you started having gender thoughts or once you understood what they were or were linked too , but couldn't stand any transition for any reason?

I think yep, sadly at this point I have to admit to myself as much as I really don't want to , I'm a transwoman and btw, I don't have any issues regarding others, it's just it has in my specific case been hell in my earth... I'd of had a normal life without these thoughts in my brain upsetting me but it's not the thoughts alone, I can't transition or take HRT where I am, and I don't even want too, to have to see my body change, get super expensive and painful surgeries, to have to pass , knowing, again all in my case I likely won't ... But I'm always angry yet, I'd have to change my body and aesthetic for this to hopefully subside and I'm completely trapped mentally and physically.

All I see is deeath as my option ... It's hell for me, maybe that's why the psychotic breaks of anger when my toxic mother tries controlling me..

Correct me if I am wrong but, and I'm really depressed so to put it bluntly from what I've seen in society: .

The normal thing is happy normal smart guys in families or privileged kids from again happy and financially well off parents , get jobs or move abroad with mummy and daddy's money but for those who don't, they study, their brains work so they can, they get good jobs and then work whilst living happily with their parents until they have tones of money to then meet someone they like, move out together, start a family etc... that's not my story, I am completely fked

My life = I have severe gender dysphoria thoughts every single day, they are triggered by many things and are always there to give me a deep sadness, I have deep depression due to this but also an entire life if misery, bullying, repressing things , fked up family, toxic controlking, gaslighting family, my father was manipulative, violent, my mother is now the same too, she caused me anxiety, my bloodline has diabetes, schizophrenia, bipolarism, LGBT ohh but I can't just be a normal gay guy, nope that's not difficult enough... Then my family line also has alopecia, yeah I'm balding , and it fks with my sanity, spending money on hair pills for what ? I'm unemployed living in a rural town where I was outed as gay in high school, there are no jobs here, no future here, I have no reason to wanna continue I legit wanna vanish, if I tried ending my life it might go wrong and I be paralysed physically or hurt to much for me to go through with it .. entire life has been hell.

I can only semi survive by masking as a "regular" straight guy, but my deep social anxiety and hyperhidrosis also don't help ..I felt immense sadness I repress now to feel nothing , sometimes I have psychotic moments of rage ....it all gets to much. My mother said she wished I was dead, she constantly reminds me I am a failure living under her roof, eating her food, costing her money ...great just what you need when depressed.

Correct me if I am wrong but, and I'm really depressed so to put it bluntly from what I've seen in society:

The normal thing is happy normal smart guys in families or privileged kids from again happy and financially well off parents , get jobs or move abroad with mummy and daddy's money but for those who don't, they study, their brains work so they can, they get good jobs and then work whilst living happily with their parents until they have tones of money to then meet someone they like, move out together, start a family etc... that's not my story, I am completely fked

My life = I have severe gender dysphoria thoughts every single day, they are triggered by many things and are always there to give me a deep sadness, I have deep depression due to this but also an entire life if misery, bullying, repressing things , fked up family, toxic controlking, gaslighting family, my father was manipulative, violent, my mother is now the same too, she caused me anxiety, my bloodline has diabetes, schizophrenia, bipolarism, LGBT ohh but I can't just be a normal gay guy, nope that's not difficult enough... Then my family line also has alopecia, yeah I'm balding , and it fks with my sanity, spending money on hair pills for what ? I'm unemployed living in a rural town where I was outed as gay in high school, there are no jobs here, no future here, I have no reason to wanna continue I legit wanna vanish, if I tried ending my life it might go wrong and I be paralysed physically or hurt to much for me to go through with it .. entire life has been hell.

I can only semi survive by masking as a "regular" straight guy, but my deep social anxiety and hyperhidrosis also don't help ..I felt immense sadness I repress now to feel nothing , sometimes I have psychotic moments of rage ....it all gets to much. My mother said she wished I was dead, she constantly reminds me I am a failure living under her roof, eating her food, costing her money ...great just what you need when depressed.

... I've been every single day , literally, every single day having arguements with my mother , she will approach me and say something to trigger me, so I either just ignore it and get super internally worked up, (repression) or I verbally and defend myself with an attitude and she explodes saying "You're killing me, I can't have a normal life because of you living with me in this house" ...everyday she calls me selfish , cause I say I want nothing to do with her, or her money, and she controls my finances, (meaning she has my credit card and checks constantly, if I spend anything she goes psycho, i verbally exploded twice saying no one my age has a mother holding their credit card hostage, she goes mad and says "cause you spend, you said you wouldn't before" all in a sinister voice

I'm an unemployed adult living at home with her, I don't look for work due to deep depression, I can't stand where I live, and I have daily and this is what she doesn't know is I have gender dysphoria , which fks my mental health...

She sends me hate messages on WhatsApp shouting, etc I just... I don't wanna live anymore like this, I'm now 31... Been dealing with this since my 20s and I can't speak about my gender issues with anyone cause I live in a shitty town, long story short, daily getting out of bed is a task itself , I feel uncomfortable in my own skin, I see no future for me due to this curse. I loathe my bloodline, I have alopecia, most have diabetes, neurodivergent, bipolarism , I have hyperhidrosis like my whole family line is a curse...

I don't have anything but Reddit to post too and AI Gemini but I fear the latter can get my data... I think I'll end up kicked out of the house, I dunno what else to say but living is pain for me. I told her "you don't know how appreciative I am or not of having a roof over my head, but I'm living a life I don't want I can't stand" and she says "how's that my fault? You don't get out of the house, you don't look for work at 31!!

Can someone please help? Advice, what would you do? I don't have much money, so imagine I could get a job and move out, except I don't wanna live in this town, so if I rented a room or home I'd be wasting money on that, just to not live with my mother, I want to go , I don't know where but I know I don't want to live here, nor the capital, half of my bullies moved to the capital to get jobs there, I want out to never see these monsters that haunt my nightmares again...I don't even wanna do therapy here, I want out!! Today I heard another famous actress died, someone in her 30s I feel my time is coming too

I don't know which is the best subreddit to post this in, but if there isn't a post about it, god there should be...it's insane and I've heard stories about this and experienced this first hand , it's always the same , the victim/s have to leave, escape their homes whilst the abuser ,many times NOT even sentenced continues his life...what the absolute fk??

It's one of the reasons I don't trust society and have trust issues, we truly are animals if a judge and legal system cannot logically comprehend the one breaking the law is who should be forced out.

Can I ask you something guys something? Your advice and impartial views on this

I'm gay male (well I have gender dysphoria so I'm likely a very depressed transwoman, and I am unemployed and have as a minor hobby SOME dolls, honestly she ruined most of the collection for me)

So I know my mother has always found my doll collecting, me liking to own dolls wrong and I deeply believe it has to do with my gender (male) although I have fir years been dealing with gender dysphoria... I was never allowed dolls as a kid when I wanted them most, and so as an adult I started buying them in my 20s, I have a few, they are all stored in a box in her wardrobe, for years she made me uncomfortable to open up about them or anything feminine aligned that was natural to me....what should be an non issue behaviour from her end (collecting fashion dolls) , is a complete justification of my choice to hide things from her and others,

During the first years she got angry at me and said "why do you like dolls" I very uncomfortably tried explaining I liked how they looked, I see them as art (in truth I like them cause I love the femininity, the aesthetic and hair,, they look cool, Id have loved playing with them as a kid but was never allowed) , my mother angrily and confused said "I wasn't allowed to have toy cars I don't want to start buying them now wtf" she said this amidst crying and angrily telling me off... Then year later she started to say "you shouldn't buy dolls you're not working, you need to save your money, not buy crap", she has called them rubbish countless times...

there is some truth there, being unemployed buying dolls or anything that's not essential should be a no, but at around age 28/29 she hit me when she found a doll under my bed in a box that I had purchased...she started crying whilst hitting me saying "how could you do this to me you bastard, you fucking bastard I hate you"... The few times I mention that incident briefly and with angry I tell her I don't forgive her for that, and she replies with anger "I don't forgive you for many things , let's not even go there" ... Instead of her just listening to me she turns things around then says "OMG, you're manipulative" when I explain that she does that!

I'm in my 30s now and sadly I still live with her, my entire family cause me pain, I was bullied in school so all I've learnt from society is pain, hide, mask cause as you were born male but you don't align with it you must act to not get again abused...

I'm alive, but daily things are very bad, me and my mother argue lots and I've told her I resent her , , then she gets madder... She is a nice person IF you do/act the way she deens acceptable, Then in those moments she is like another person, but in truth she cares for her social image and I've closed and still try locking part of myself daily to not hurt her more as she's said before when I once mentioned "I dont know if I'll transition one day" ...she said "don't give me more problems, don't do this to me" ... She calls me selfish, ungrateful , a narcissist because she is the one buying food, paying bills etc, sure she tells me to save up my money and I have mostly ,but regarding dolls , which I never had an unhealthy obsession with, she fked my enjoyment so much when I look at photos of them online or something I feel immense pain and sadness, it's a secret ,

and I learnt from an early age to keep things a secret, each time I've come out she gives me the "omg your killing me" speech and trauma face, starts crying and compares me to my father constantly..."You're worse than you're father, You're just like you're father, you're bipolar" I hate to say it, but a part of me wants her to pass away, so I can be a bit free .. ,

anyways today she said "why don't you sell your dolls" whilst talking about selling some old bags my sister left us to sell , it felt like an attack against my femininity but more so, her trying to once again , shape me , control my mind, get rid of the dolls, fks sake I have less than 30 , and look right there...my mind tried to justify , find loopholes, so what if I had 300 (not what I want but)...What's the issue? If I was left to just enjoy things at my pace naturally I wouldn't hoarder so much anger , and repression... I hate her so much.. I desperately needed to vent this to hear your views.

also: she booked me therapy, I don't wanna talk about my gender identity or doll collecting with this therapist I live in a very rural village , god she'll act and twist her words and truth to make me seem like a weirdo, I need therapy but not here, elsewhere but I can't just move, how? with what money? where too?

Can I ask you something guys something? Your advice and impartial views on this

I'm gay male (well I have gender dysphoria so I'm likely a very depressed transwoman, and I am unemployed and have as a minor hobby SOME dolls, honestly she ruined most of the collection for me)

So I know my mother has always found my doll collecting, me liking to own dolls wrong and I deeply believe it has to do with my gender (male) although I have fir years been dealing with gender dysphoria... I was never allowed dolls as a kid when I wanted them most, and so as an adult I started buying them in my 20s, I have a few, they are all stored in a box in her wardrobe, for years she made me uncomfortable to open up about them or anything feminine aligned that was natural to me....what should be an non issue behaviour from her end (collecting fashion dolls) , is a complete justification of my choice to hide things from her and others,

During the first years she got angry at me and said "why do you like dolls" I very uncomfortably tried explaining I liked how they looked, I see them as art (in truth I like them cause I love the femininity, the aesthetic and hair,, they look cool, Id have loved playing with them as a kid but was never allowed) , my mother angrily and confused said "I wasn't allowed to have toy cars I don't want to start buying them now wtf" she said this amidst crying and angrily telling me off... Then year later she started to say "you shouldn't buy dolls you're not working, you need to save your money, not buy crap", she has called them rubbish countless times...

there is some truth there, being unemployed buying dolls or anything that's not essential should be a no, but at around age 28/29 she hit me when she found a doll under my bed in a box that I had purchased...she started crying whilst hitting me saying "how could you do this to me you bastard, you fucking bastard I hate you"... The few times I mention that incident briefly and with angry I tell her I don't forgive her for that, and she replies with anger "I don't forgive you for many things , let's not even go there" ... Instead of her just listening to me she turns things around then says "OMG, you're manipulative" when I explain that she does that!

I'm in my 30s now and sadly I still live with her, my entire family cause me pain, I was bullied in school so all I've learnt from society is pain, hide, mask cause as you were born male but you don't align with it you must act to not get again abused...

I'm alive, but daily things are very bad, me and my mother argue lots and I've told her I resent her , , then she gets madder... She is a nice person IF you do/act the way she deens acceptable, Then in those moments she is like another person, but in truth she cares for her social image and I've closed and still try locking part of myself daily to not hurt her more as she's said before when I once mentioned "I dont know if I'll transition one day" ...she said "don't give me more problems, don't do this to me" ... She calls me selfish, ungrateful , a narcissist because she is the one buying food, paying bills etc, sure she tells me to save up my money and I have mostly ,but regarding dolls , which I never had an unhealthy obsession with, she fked my enjoyment so much when I look at photos of them online or something I feel immense pain and sadness, it's a secret ,

and I learnt from an early age to keep things a secret, each time I've come out she gives me the "omg your killing me" speech and trauma face, starts crying and compares me to my father constantly..."You're worse than you're father, You're just like you're father, you're bipolar" I hate to say it, but a part of me wants her to pass away, so I can be a bit free .. ,

anyways today she said "why don't you sell your dolls" whilst talking about selling some old bags my sister left us to sell , it felt like an attack against my femininity but more so, her trying to once again , shape me , control my mind, get rid of the dolls, fks sake I have less than 30 , and look right there...my mind tried to justify , find loopholes, so what if I had 300 (not what I want but)...What's the issue? If I was left to just enjoy things at my pace naturally I wouldn't hoarder so much anger , and repression... I hate her so much.. I desperately needed to vent this to hear your views..

Hi,

An unhinged individual made hate content about me a few weeks ago, this creator shows their face and speaks in camera, so i assume they’d be easy to identity , however i am not from taiwan, i am in europe, this person is in taipei taiwan and they have edited my logo and name with rude words and hate imagery, id like to know if there is anything i can do legally? I do not use my real name online, so if successfully reported them to taipei would i have to give my real name and address? Could the taipei police then identify me to the criminal?

What realistically would happen please?

In case it seems confusing, this is what happened: I came across this user on social media, as they were following me and messaging me cause we are from same online spaces, this person then unfollowed and started stalking me, made a post calling me fake, and when i then publicly made a post detailing their cyberstalking, they responded by creating a bunch of hate posts calling me rude words, defamation of character and taunting me in those posts, they then edited my imagery and name online with hate graphics, and left those pinned online. I know for a fact that person has fake facebook accounts too… what is the penalty for their behaviour? Cause i havent said anything since, i blocked that disturbing person. They continued to stalk my socials and mass dislike my content, so i had to remove it all… it is a textbook example of crossing pathswith the wrong person, a very unhinged one. Its unfair as the victim i had to leave the internet but the criminal gets to post hate speech and the socisl media platforms didnt remove the blatant hate..is there any point contacting a lawyer, and as i dont speak i think its chinese? How would i explain to taipei police..this has been very distressing for months.

Hi, I live in Portugal, and have been putting together both my curriculum (via europass website, and my curriculum is written in Portuguese,) and creating my portfolio as id like to have a link which shows some of my works from courses. Unfortunately the portfolio website is taking a long time to put together, (I’m using canva for that, and trying to aesthetically place stuff, figure out how to upload pdf files or links to them is very tiring) what i thought would be a fun process has actually made my already depressed mind worse 😅 but i must fight on in life 👊🏻

I dont want to only restrict myself to one area of work, but marketing and publicity are some i did course work in , my question here is, the course work was all done in portuguese, and ive been creating my portfolio in english cause its universal, i am open to one day maybe immigrate and i seen to find other foreigners portfolios be in english too, if my portfolio and its sections like “about me” and my brief work descriptions next to the course works are in english BUT the actual pdf work files themselves are all in portuguese will that work against me? Would i have to translate my entire works to english for my portfolio? And what if i am sending my cv to companies in portugal, cause they surely would understand both my portfolio in english but recognise and understand the works themselves being written in portuguese

Im really sorry if any of this sounds confusing, i want to sit with a professional or professor and ask for guidance face to face but cant so here i am 😅. Any help would be appreciated.

Portuguese and international employers, if you got a portfolio in english, but with the actual works from a course in marketing being in portuguese, even with a written summary next to them in english (baring in mind a written summary is 2 paragraphs of the content in general but not as full in detail as the actual pdf of course) would you just disregard it?

And if yr a portuguese employeer at an international company WITHIN portugal, how would you take for instance, receiving a portuguese written CV with a link to an english portfolio with works in portuguese? Hi, I live in Portugal, and have been putting together both my curriculum (via europass website, and my curriculum is written in Portuguese,) and creating my portfolio as id like to have a link which shows some of my works from courses. Unfortunately the portfolio website is taking a long time to put together, (I’m using canva for that, and trying to aesthetically place stuff, figure out how to upload pdf files or links to them is very tiring) what i thought would be a fun process has actually made my already depressed mind worse 😅 but i must fight on in life 👊🏻

I dont want to only restrict myself to one area of work, but marketing and publicity are some i did course work in , my question here is, the course work was all done in portuguese, and ive been creating my portfolio in english cause its universal, i am open to one day maybe immigrate and i seen to find other foreigners portfolios be in english too, if my portfolio and its sections like “about me” and my brief work descriptions next to the course works are in english BUT the actual pdf work files themselves are all in portuguese will that work against me? Would i have to translate my entire works to english for my portfolio? And what if i am sending my cv to companies in portugal, cause they surely would understand both my portfolio in english but recognise and understand the works themselves being written in portuguese

Im really sorry if any of this sounds confusing, i want to sit with a professional or professor and ask for guidance face to face but cant so here i am 😅. Any help would be appreciated.

Portuguese and international employers, if you got a portfolio in english, but with the actual works from a course in marketing being in portuguese, even with a written summary next to them in english (baring in mind a written summary is 2 paragraphs of the content in general but not as full in detail as the actual pdf of course) would you just disregard it?

And if yr a portuguese employeer at an international company WITHIN portugal, how would you take for instance, receiving a portuguese written CV with a link to an english portfolio with works in portuguese?

Hi, I live in Portugal, and have been putting together both my curriculum (via europass website, and my curriculum is written in Portuguese,) and creating my portfolio as id like to have a link which shows some of my works from courses. Unfortunately the portfolio website is taking a long time to put together, (I’m using canva for that, and trying to aesthetically place stuff, figure out how to upload pdf files or links to them is very tiring) what i thought would be a fun process has actually made my already depressed mind worse 😅 but i must fight on in life 👊🏻

I dont want to only restrict myself to one area of work, but marketing and publicity are some i did course work in , my question here is, the course work was all done in portuguese, and ive been creating my portfolio in english cause its universal, i am open to one day maybe immigrate and i seen to find other foreigners portfolios be in english too, if my portfolio and its sections like “about me” and my brief work descriptions next to the course works are in english BUT the actual pdf work files themselves are all in portuguese will that work against me? Would i have to translate my entire works to english for my portfolio? And what if i am sending my cv to companies in portugal, cause they surely would understand both my portfolio in english but recognise and understand the works themselves being written in portuguese

Im really sorry if any of this sounds confusing, i want to sit with a professional or professor and ask for guidance face to face but cant so here i am 😅. Any help would be appreciated.

Portuguese and international employers, if you got a portfolio in english, but with the actual works from a course in marketing being in portuguese, even with a written summary next to them in english (baring in mind a written summary is 2 paragraphs of the content in general but not as full in detail as the actual pdf of course) would you just disregard it?

And if yr a portuguese employeer at an international company WITHIN portugal, how would you take for instance, receiving a portuguese written CV with a link to an english portfolio with works in portuguese?

Boa tarde,

Estive a atualizar o meu curriculum, criando um através do site europass, sendo que parece a ser o mais conhecido, anteriormente utilizava o canva, mas queria algo mais formal.

A minha questão aqui é, aliás questões, são:

1 - Como existem várias companhias internacionais em Portugal, devo criar e enviar o meu CV em inglês? ainda que o emprego seria em Portugal?

2 - A nível de portfólio\site de portfólio, estou a pensar em criar um, e este terá trabalhos em português, caso queria também concorrer a ofertas de emprego estrangeiros, teria que não só criar outro em inglês , como também traduzir os meus trabalhos por completo? são trabalhos feitos em cursos e alguns bem extensos, com imagens \ prints que estão em português , ou seja , alguns elementos visuais davam imenso trabalho a traduzir, mesmo que eu traduzisse imenso do conteúdo.

Gostaria de ouvir as vossas opiniões, sobretudo recrutadores. Estou aberto a emigrar, mas neste momento vivo em Portugal, não tenho condições financeiras e também gostaria de puder trabalhar numa área onde pudesse exercitar tanto a língua inglesa como a portuguesa, e sim...sei que existem call centers e IT, call centers são um não infelizmente , conheço pessoas que tiveram experiências horriveis, e IT infelizmente não é uma área pela qual tenho conhecimentos a nivel de justificar um emprego - ou seja, não sei nada sobre javascripts, codificação, motherboards, enfim... ao menos esta ultima parte que tenha dado alguns lols para vocês.

Agradeço qualquer feedback sério e realista, pois que demorei vários dias com o CV em português, mas se vai ser descartado de imediato?

Hi. To cut a long life story short:

I am male, out as gay to only a few close family member, as i am strictly attracted only to men. I like my male appearance, my name and how my body physically feels. ..However, for most of my life in one form or another , my brain keeps pushing transgender thoughts, now its daily, and saddens me, i try pushing them away cause , i rather just life as a normal gay man and i do find many gay scenes in tv hot, but regarding gender id have much preferred being born a girl, naturally most of my interests / hobbies are more feminine (drawing, doll collecting, the music i listen to female artists, i like fashion, makeup - although i dont know how to do any of that ahah but it was something i had to conceal too)

Id love to have long hair, experience putting dresses and heels on, i feel the dressing up part was a bigger itch during childhood and mostly my teens, now its the dating part that triggers me a lot, however…i am unemployed, living in a tiny town where there is no future, and with my mother who it would destroy if i came out, i dont have all the answers at all about trans topics but i bet in the town i am in, i know more than any therapists, thats how small it is..

Im scared if one day i move house, rent prices are insanely high and then id have to live with who ? Straight men?

Overall i need advice, work wise , life wise etc. i look in the mirror, take photos, and i do find myself attractive , but why do I constantly have these thoughts? I might have some internalized transphobia yes, but i just…i wanna be two versions of me to explore dating, life, another thing triggering me is my age and the “you only live once” fml, i dont wanna stay with these thoughts and regret but also, dont wanna give up fully on my male self, sometimes i feel like a persona but i do like when i dont have these thoughts, i just became so aware in the past 7 years to filling in forms, like for example renewing documents. But seeing straight men i will never be an option to hurts, and drives to to wanna transition to experience dating ,

I dunno, as gay guy dating feels , well ive never dated lol

As for a job, im unemployed cause i know there is no future where i am and i just have trauma from living here too, i know that is likely a bullet i will have to bite, but how do i just get up and move and where too , with what money???

Hello.

I’m thinking of leaving the doll world online all together and permanently, it’s sad cause i really did enjoy talking to lots of other collectors about dolls, sharing my photos and giving friendly advice on things linked to the hobby, i also contributed with info on products ,history posts, and felt this was a space I wasn’t allowed to be part of as a kid but as an adult had kinda “found my people” but cause of this ongoing situation which has affected both me and my family a lot , i dont like this anymore, i dont feel safe , i even closed all my socials because of a very disturbing individual. The internet really has no policing and it’s concerning in 2026 …

I started being cyberstalked and harassed by a collector from another country, I don’t truly understand why, i was never mean to them, we followed each other online , then suddenly they started posting defamation, they have created multiple accounts, post hate about me , including insults, threats, has post photos of me and family members, edited the photos with AI i think, in very disturbing ways. This person is a doll collector who creates content… to be frank i feel like I’m in a weird alternate reality , because none of this makes sense, why this person has chosen to obsess over me and has been harassing my family i dont know, I have nephews and cousins that are minors , and they have read some of posts, how this person on both facebook, youtube, instagram and tiktok has made accounts with hateful posts, (and i know its them cause they show their face on most of the profile pictures even with different usernames) this person has also apparently messaged other collectors i was close too, saying I’m fake, I’m mean, but with no actual evidence cause, well there is none…

I have thought of going to the police in person and filing online in the perpetrators country, but as a male gay collector who lives in a small conservative town, how would i explain this is all from doll content? Whats more upsetting is the person is lgbt, when they dont post about me, they appear on camera extremely superficial showing makeup they did and walking around town like a streamer , talking about the importance of Pride ….i … huh? ,months later when i finally did make a post about their behaviour, oh they went extra psycho online bashing me, stating the things i said were false , even though i shared screenshots… and for me , the fact no one even messaged me to ask if i was ok, i got silence from a community i gave too, never harassed anyone or was mean to anyone, i felt like, woah.. what the heck is going on.

I want to ask, as a human-being, what would you do if this happened to you? I feel I’m being forced to leave a hobby i love online because of this absolutely insane individual, ive reported the posts and accounts many times on the platforms , they dont remove them…i just…i'm in part speechless , in part very confused and upset , and very too angry at how even my nephews have been affected and are scared someone might hurt them in real life, this guy is from asia btw, but … just so so fked up and it’s been going on for months.

I am unemployed in my 30s living in the same town i was badly bullied in, and bullied homophobic , guess what, went on tinder boom saw one of my bullies which triggered me to feel exposed, humiliated and unsafe, if i ever get a job here, befriend anyone , as soon as someone from my past in school sees me they will spread gossip of me either it be 1- i am gay , or 2 - i am gay and typed bad things on social media, and how i used to get in trouble l for context i was SUPER quiet, always targeted for that , nit fitting in with boys, being socially uncomfortable cause i was aware of the mockery, loner , and then ….

Just reading this sounds incredibly petty but its a very long story, i used to write on social media how much i hate my bullies exactly because i was suffering in silence, whilst dealing with parents divorcing at home, my father was abusive too, i dont know how i survived but i just lament that , and please read this next part carefully- i never wanted popularity or even an amazing experience, i wanted normality and peace.. i never could study normally, i had to live and still live with trauma, fear, anxiety, sadness, regret…

If you knew me in person/ when people come across me in person i seem either normal like any other person, or kinda anxious / but very polite. I did an online course a while back and as i was on pc at home via webcam and none of the people were from this town, i was able to be much more assertive, it was like i was another person almost in a good way, well at least i could function and my hardwork paid off within those moments, as soon as the course ended, back to square one…

I need to move but how? Ive made posts on reddit since age 20 seriously i dont know what to do? I try forcing myself to go supermarket and sometimes for walks but wtf thats no life…i also dont wanna move to the capital cause some bullies moved there too, one of them is a lawyer lol, she was incredibly sadistic , bruh i dont even know how to word the shithole life has been, leading me to just not want to continue on earth sometimes, cause i dont wanna be forced to live here, i dont wanna be buried here, i want out.

I’m in my 30s now, and I’ve hated life for years, the only illusions of joy i got were from watching some movies, listening to some songs occasionally, and having some products, but no real joy, because as a kid and teenager i was bullied, i am lgbt and dislike how much that psychologically has affected my life, i cannot connect easily with others, in my own community most people i have come across are horrible, bitchy , toxic, seriously have the weirdest behaviour, i have mostly been nice in life, ive battling innate anxiety and tried to push forward, nothing came easy to me, i studied as much as i could under depression and other circumstances, and i was treated badly back..

i did create content online publicly in the last 7/8/9 years - visual images of products i own, and reviews on social media, but recently i very unfortunately crossed paths on instagram with an unhinged man from taiwan who now cyber stalkes me, and has made defamatory hate posts about me on instagram, all because of, i kid you not, he complains i didnt share any of his content … wtf, please read that again slowly , “because i didnt share any of his content” 😳, he’s harassed me to the point of me deactivating most of my socials that i truly worked so hard to make content on, because i dont feel safe in the one tiny thing in my life that gave me some joy, i reported his insulting posts on instagram, where he taunts me, calls me names, edited my imagery with hate speech, then laugh about it, and the platform gave me automated messages saying they chose not to take it down…there goes years of hard work and a brand name…

In real life i try to mask trying to be ok, but i feel uncomfortable, and i dont like where i live, not to mention people that bullied me years ago live here, my parents are divorced, im unemployed and have been for over 7 years, i cant fathom me having to work anywhere physically in the city i am in cause when i see people from my past i am triggered, everyone, bullies and all, got to go to university and have amazing lifes and careers , i cant, i am sick of having to keep pushing through

My father is a conservative violent man, that wont stop trying to bug me, and gaslight me emotionally “my children dont talk to me, its so selfish of us” …my mother is always complaining i dont have a job, my sister who lives in another country complains she is miserable with her life, even though her husband is loaded and she is a selfish premadonna who can speak down to everyone but never be put in her place or she snaps…

Built in anger , that i bottled up since childhood has led me to feel dark and as if i have moments of psychosis….i also very fking sadly, and its nothing to do with the media or any stupid trend, i have gender dysphoria which i internally battle cause i can’t realistically put myself through transition, see, reading this i sound completely insane, looking at me youd think i am a regular guy, or someone perhaps shy, sad? …i cant see any point of continuing on, i just dont end it cause i dont want to appear on the news for gossip, otherwise im part dead inside…

Venting on reddit is pretty much all i got, now imagine when i post heartfelt stuff like this, then get a “your post has been removed due to A.B?c” bruh, I’m a fking human, why am i censored without breaking any laws, but the internet is full of trolls and criminals that can post anything, this world makes no sense at all… i wanna have a normal job, move from the small town i am stuck in, and just not deal with nastiness of humans, cause im not nasty and dont deserve nastiness

I’m in my 30s now, and I’ve hated life for years, the only illusions of joy i got were from watching some movies, listening to some songs occasionally, and having some products, but no real joy, because as a kid and teenager i was bullied, i am lgbt and dislike how much that psychologically has affected my life, i cannot connect easily with others, in my own community most people i have come across are horrible, bitchy , toxic, seriously have the weirdest behaviour, i have mostly been nice in life, ive battling innate anxiety and tried to push forward, nothing came easy to me, i studied as much as i could under depression and other circumstances, and i was treated badly back..

i did create content online publicly in the last 7/8/9 years - visual images of products i own, and reviews on social media, but recently i very unfortunately crossed paths on instagram with an unhinged man from taiwan who now cyber stalkes me, and has made defamatory hate posts about me on instagram, all because of, i kid you not, he complains i didnt share any of his content … wtf, please read that again slowly , “because i didnt share any of his content” 😳, he’s harassed me to the point of me deactivating most of my socials that i truly worked so hard to make content on, because i dont feel safe in the one tiny thing in my life that gave me some joy, i reported his insulting posts on instagram, where he taunts me, calls me names, edited my imagery with hate speech, then laugh about it, and the platform gave me automated messages saying they chose not to take it down…there goes years of hard work and a brand name…

In real life i try to mask trying to be ok, but i feel uncomfortable, and i dont like where i live, not to mention people that bullied me years ago live here, my parents are divorced, im unemployed and have been for over 7 years, i cant fathom me having to work anywhere physically in the city i am in cause when i see people from my past i am triggered, everyone, bullies and all, got to go to university and have amazing lifes and careers , i cant, i am sick of having to keep pushing through

My father is a conservative violent man, that wont stop trying to bug me, and gaslight me emotionally “my children dont talk to me, its so selfish of us” …my mother is always complaining i dont have a job, my sister who lives in another country complains she is miserable with her life, even though her husband is loaded and she is a selfish premadonna who can speak down to everyone but never be put in her place or she snaps…

Built in anger , that i bottled up since childhood has led me to feel dark and as if i have moments of psychosis….i also very fking sadly, and its nothing to do with the media or any stupid trend, i have gender dysphoria which i internally battle cause i can’t realistically put myself through transition, see, reading this i sound completely insane, looking at me youd think i am a regular guy, or someone perhaps shy, sad? …i cant see any point of continuing on, i just dont end it cause i dont want to appear on the news for gossip, otherwise im part dead inside…

Venting on reddit is pretty much all i got, now imagine when i post heartfelt stuff like this, then get a “your post has been removed due to A.B?c” bruh, I’m a fking human, why am i censored without breaking any laws, but the internet is full of trolls and criminals that can post anything, this world makes no sense at all… i wanna have a normal job, move from the small town i am stuck in, and just not deal with nastiness of humans, cause im not nasty and dont deserve nastiness

My Location: Portugal
Cyber criminals : Taiwan

Question: 1 - Can I successfully sue this person
Question 2 - what would the process likely entail and time wise please

I'd like to type in english if possible, but hear from lawyers , law students of both countries or people that have dealt with taiwan criminals overseas before. i am suffering immensely with a cyber stalker and hate speech content creator that made insults and defamatory posts publicly about me on instagram, and they are from another continent, i need legal help , ive been suffering a lot, especially after exposing the persons behaviour, after they stalked me for weeks, but its such an embarrassing situation for me to just walk in person to a station explaining , im also lgbt , and sharing that would expose that cause of the online community where this stalker first crossed paths with me (nothing relationship or flirt related thank god, no but its just…still very embarrassing, and i was nice to them, they seemed friendly then automatically started cyber stalking me, and then made hate posts about me) this is very jarring…is there anyway online i can speak to someone here online for general advice that is realistic also? God i feel awful…i shouldnt have to just ignore this…ive already deactivated many accounts that i put hard work in my content for for years, that was a passion, all due to this cyber criminal that mass dislikes my stuff on youtube, since i blocked them and deleted my accounts on other platforms, they also edited photo logo of mine with hate speech, I do believe they would retaliate if i did anything, since when i factually exposed their unhinged stalking, they pumped up the hatred, and i believe fully if they got my personal details , they would doxx me.

I reported the hate stories on instagram, the platform gives me an automatic refusal message to take them down. This person is a menace, ideally id also like to report in taiwan, will this cost me?

My Location: Portugal
Cyber criminals : Taiwan

Question: 1 - Can I successfully sue this person
Question 2 - what would the process likely entail and time wise

I'd like to type in english if possible, but hear from lawyers of both countries or people that have dealt with taiwan criminals overseas before. i am suffering with a cyber stalker and hate speech creator that made insults and defamatory posts publicly about me , and they are from another continent, i need legal help , ive been suffering a lot, especially after exposing the persons behaviour, but its such an embarrassing situation for me to just walk in person to a station explaining , im also lgbt , and would expose that, this is very jarring…is there anyway someone online can speak to someone here online for general advice that is realistic also? God i feel awful…i shouldnt have to just ignore, ive already deactivated many accounts that i put hard work in due to this cyber criminal. I do believe they would retaliate, and if they got my personal details , doxx me.

A cyber troll and stalker has taken my account logo and edited it on an offensive background image with defamation word insults in front of it. However my logo featured images of characters owned by disney and other corporations, albeit kinda transformative? Cause the sizing and positioning is different but its their exact png, so could i really sue as intellectual misuse or something? I tried reported the hate speech to instagram but nothing, its making me sick…