r/expats

I'm not sure what sage Reddit advice I'm expecting but hoping the algorithm Gods bring me something to help reason out my situation.

I graduated with a great degree in Paris but since I didn't speak French I was looking for jobs outside France. Got pretty much a dream job in Dublin and given the market conditions I immediately said yes

I love my job. I hate Dublin. My social life would be in shambles but for the fact that it is non-existant. I am not very social but have never struggled this much to make freinds. I also love my space and peace and the shift back to sharing an apartment has been tough. Add on how difficult it is to get anywhere in Dublin to participate in an activity, or attend am event. Plus the crazy cost of travelling when you consider booking a hotel for a single person! I am at my wits end and ready to give up.

I think I have the opportunity to move to London within this job and by all accounts (actual friends and family living there, and Reddit threads) it seems this can only be a positive move, right?

The major downsides for London are the cost of living, reliance on public transport and weather. To which I say it's better than it is here, I would rather depend on a system that actually works and again it's better than it is here.

Plus I have an existing social network in London.

Open to literally any and all opinions from Anyone because I have thought over every angle and this is the only option that seems to spark any joy

When you hear about Europeans or Asians or anyone who wants to move to the US (I know surprisingly there are a lot of people who still want to move there according to Reddit this is impossible), mostly want to go to California, New York or Florida.

But the US is SO MUCH MORE. In fact the best places to live in the US in my opinion are not even these ones (and I’m not even american), but for example Washington (the state) and Oregon, why aren’t these more popular amongst expats of different countries who want to move to the US?

These two places are insanely beautiful, they have one of the best nature and landscapes of the US (and some of the world), lifestyle there is much slower and centered around families (similar to Europe), cost of living is lower (compared to New York, California etc) and in general they’re just very beautiful and amazing places to live in. And I can say the same about Vermont or North Carolina.

These places are so much better than the popular ones, why do people keep wanting to move to New York, California and Florida?

I've seen it in so many circles and conversations with people that it just gives me social burnout. Often when I meet english people the conversation always goes back to residence permits, structural barriers, and 'oh back in MY country...' even if they've been living here for a while. I just want to talk with people about their hobbies and interests, goddamn it! I think about bureaucracy enough when I need it, and I don't want to spend my free time talking about it when we could be getting to know each other as people.

So many expats in Taiwan tell me that they were traveling throughout Asia in the 80 and 90s and didn't think much of Taiwan. However, usually a fellow traveler told them to visit. when they arrived in Taiwan, there was something sticky about it. They ended up staying. What is so attractive to expats in Taiwan? Please share your stories.

Hi All,

I have been working as a Software Engineer at a public product based company in Bangalore. Overall experience is 8 years and 8 months and total current compensation is 53LPA fixed + 20LPA worth of stocks every year. I mostly work from home, wife is also working and earning over 12LPA and only goes once a week and we have a 1 year 8 months old kid. We have a cook, maid and 9 hour support from nanny and my mother/father come to live with us from time to time. I am staying at a rented house in Indiranagar and own a bike and a car. I have lived all my life in India. I love to play football and play it every weekend on Saturday in a nearby club in Bangalore.

For the fun of it, I always wanted to travel and explore the world and especially the EU and have been casually applying all across EU for a while. Right now, for a public product based company in Amsterdam, Netherlands and about to receive an offer. It is something like: 110k base + 27.5k worth of stocks + some bonus of 1k per month or 12k per year(this I am not sure, need to double check). Visa sponsorship and relocation support is there too.

Now questions:

1. Is it fair compensation given the switch? I don't have any clue about taxes but in Bangalore, my wife and I are easily able to save 2000-2700 euros per month but in INR of course.

2. Is it worth moving given my current employment? The fact that if I move now, I might have to wait for my kid to finish the education and that probably means never coming back

3. I do have old parents around 50-60 aged. Any chance I could ever bring them with me? My wife has a single mother but she also has a son.

4. What are the few things I should be clear in my mind before moving if I ever move? I see some discouraging posts about bad winters, tasteless food etc. I come from Delhi originally and I don't know if anything could be worse than surviving 50C summers in Delhi.

5. Things I'll love after moving (maybe 1 year, 2 year, 3 year etc.) and things I might miss/regret?

6. I bought the car recently and that too an expensive one, is there anyway I can bring it to Amsterdam with me or it's not possible at all? It's a Toyota Hycross non hybrid model 2025

7. Is NL really that great for my kid(s) future and education? I read that drugs are huge problem here. Could go either way I suppose

I would be really grateful if some folks could help me find these answers.

I dont know how to explain this exactly but maybe people who have also moved around alot can understand, even though I am not sure if this is exactly the reason for this feeling.

I feel like everyone kind of has "a life" besides me. Obviously, that seems more black/white when you have intense emotions in the moment. I often look around; people/friends have families, careers they like, a home, great friends etc. Like they "belong" to a life or a life belongs to them.

I have moved around and I have never felt like this is "my life". It is hard to explain. I have lived different lives with different friend groups, different jobs, different countries, different hobbies but I always feel like I don't somehow "fit in" or the life doesn't feel like it is mine somehow. The only times I feel "aligned" is when I am traveling, on the move. Of course I know, that it's transient but it feels the most "home" to me. Not sure that makes sense.. I have been in the same country for 7 years now, where I have also been raised mostly. I was born in ex-Yugoslavia, raised in Austria and Switzerland, than lived in South America, Singapore and Sydney. So I know this could be the reason but I often wonder is this something in me that needs to be "fixed" or is that just the result of moving around and not having real roots anywhere?

Hello everyone,

I have a lovely girlfriend from Latvia. We've been together for 2 years and have been living together for most of it. We live near Utrecht. She's struggeling to find friends or form a social circle.

Do any of you have tips on how to pick up friends in the Netherlands. I can't really help her with this. She's looking to make friends from her own area. Think Poland, Latvia, Lithuania. As she explained they will understand each other better. Looking forward to your tips and I hope you can help her out!

My daughter is 20 and studies in London. We moved to AD about nine months back.

One night at 2 AM, she messaged saying that she had a severe headache and her vision was blurring. If you are a parent you know what that does to your chest when you read something like that at night. We were miles away. There was nothing we could do except stare at our phones.

Luckily, one of her friends was with her and took her to the A&E. She sat with my daughter the whole night, held her hand, kept her calm and dealt with the doctors. God bless her.
But at the same time, she was also on her phone, trying to update me, talking to my wife, messaging our local relatives and friends in London and around, all at the same time. Probably answering the same questions to many different people.

I remember sitting in Abu Dhabi that night just making random calls to whoever came to my mind. My wife was doing the same. We were just two people thousands of miles away not knowing what to do with ourselves.

Luckily, everything turned out fine finally. She was okay.

But I have not stopped thinking about that night. Not the medical part. I keep thinking about the coordination part. One friend carrying the entire weight of updating and managing everyone while also trying to be there for my daughter. What a brave-heart!!

Has anyone else been through something like this? Either as the parent far away or as the friend who ended up being the unofficial coordinator for everyone? God forbid if similar situation happens with parent who are also in a different country, I can't imagine what it will be like.

How do you handle such situations?

Hello, I’m about to become homeless for reasons I’d rather not mention in order to protect my privacy.

I’m a 33-year-old woman living in Rhoon, South Holland. I’m currently unemployed, I don’t have any debts, and I’m not struggling with any addiction.

I’m looking for an organization, charity, or other service that could help me in my situation. I’ve heard that some organizations mainly help people dealing with addiction or debt, so I’m wondering if there are organizations that can also help someone in my situation.

Ideally, I’m looking for help finding temporary or permanent accommodation so that I can have a stable place to live, find a job, and get back on my feet.

If anyone knows of an organization or service in Rhoon, Rotterdam, or the surrounding area that could help me, I would be very grateful for any information or recommendations.

Thank you in advance for your help.

Hello!

I'm 18 years old from Algeria, which is a very conservative country so I'm trying to figure out realistic ways to eventually move abroad.

I'm a student starting my first year of English license(bachelor's) in September, i know English majors aren't much needed abroad that's why I'm thinking of either retaking the bac test to able to pick a stem field or continue with an English degree and self teach some skills(and I'd appreciate some help on what skills are in demand and aren't in risk of disappearing within the next 5 years).

My main goal is to eventually nove to a country where i can live openly and be legally protected as a gay femboy.

Are "digital nomads" the larger percentage of people moving abroad that can basically just choose the country based on likes and dislikes as opposed to where their career fits the most? It seems to me as if digital nomadism is leading the trend of moving to other countries, but I could be wrong since I'm the exact opposite of a digital nomad. I'm hoping someone can fill me in on this since I'd love to leave the USA but my career would either be difficult to transfer or it wouldn't transfer at all. Thanks!

I am wondering if anyone has experience in this transition and might know some loopholes.

I have CA drivers license, I have residency in Sweden, and I will be moving to Ireland in the next year or two for the foreseeable future.

I have seen from others on here that EU states have reciprocal agreements with certain US states. Which potentially is an option. Example, switching my CA license to Virginia and then swapping it for a German license (i have close friends in both VA and DE). But I have seen explicitly that Swapping a second time (Germany -> Ireland) would not be possible.

Does anyone have experience with this? Or know of maybe some other possible swap situations that would work?

I have also been advised to just go to Romania. Any tips on that?

Hey everyone. Just looking to vent, maybe find some support or connect with people who feel (or have felt) the same way.

I’ve been living in France for 5 years now. Originally came here for my Master’s at a public uni, did internships, and then went through a painful period of job hunting. Eventually, I decided to switch fields (UI/UX) and enrolled in an alternance program.

Things are actually going great career-wise: I found a solid company where I’ve been working for almost a year, finished M1, and I genuinely enjoy what I do.
I'm a deep introvert. Back home, I have a tiny circle of 4 very close friends (school and uni mates). I can be 100% myself with them, but they’re all far away and we rarely see each other in person.

Because of that, I carry this quiet sense of loneliness. Interactions with locals usually stay very surface-level. I don’t find much in common with them, and they don't really get the reality of being an immigrant. I’m a calm, low-energy person : I don't go to bars, I don't party, I’m a total homebody. Honestly, a lot of French people treat me like I’m weird or cold. Especially at my private school for the academic part of my alternance: most students are younger, come from well-off families (gosses de riches vibe), party constantly, and gossip about everyone. I stay polite, but there's zero connection there.

That said, I actually like who I am. I enjoy my quiet life: going to the office, gym, watching series, reading, drawing, writing, finding cute coffee shops, traveling. I'm never bored on my own.

Where it gets harder is that this loneliness even bleeds into my relationship with my French partner. He’s a truly good, stable, and kind guy. But we have a huge difference in mindsets, energy levels, and life goals. He’s much more extroverted and emotional, and as the calmer one, I often end up having to regulate his emotions. I got into this relationship after burning out from chasing guys I was madly in love with, so I chose safety, stability, and someone who genuinely cared about me.

We’re fundamentally different, though. I grew up in a big city of a million+ people; he grew up in a small French village. He dreams of a house in the countryside; I want a city apartment. His parents are nice and even helped me out when I was looking for a job, but visiting them always leaves me feeling out of place. They politely smile, but they don't really understand my personality or background.

On paper, my life is great. I have a stable contract, interesting projects, a fresh career path, a nice rented apartment, money for travels, nice clothes, and my little everyday comforts. I speak fluent French. But using a second language all day is still mentally draining, and sometimes I just want to retreat into my shell and not talk to anyone.

I’m not even sure what I’m asking for : maybe just reassurance or hearing from others who've experienced this. When objectively everything is fine and you’re living a good life, but there's still this dull ache inside that you just don't belong.

Thanks for reading if you made it this far.

I am from the UK, my partner grew up in Italy but has some French relatives so also citizenship in France. We met and have lived in France for 8/10 years. We now have two very small children.

Since my last child was born, I've really struggled with living here in France. For the first time since leaving I've had the idea of moving back to the UK. Now the idea is there, it won't leave me.

Obviously we don't have any family here, and our social network has got smaller and smaller. I feel very isolated and just have fallen out of love with France. My partner loves his job here but his commute sucks, and housing around Paris is just ridiculously unaffordable. My french has improved a lot, but Im not completely fluent and regardless I just know I'm never going to be french.

My partner is not sold on the idea of the UK but I just feel this pull now to move.

What do you think? Persuade him to give the UK a go? Would he struggle if he's not 100% in it? Can I push through and keep going in France? Do something different..? Looking for advice from any couples who've had a similar situation.

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I recently got an offer from VU Amsterdam and my program starts in November. I'm an Italian citizen and have a civil partner who is not an EU citizen (Canadian). From what I understand, she needs to be registered at the same place as me to get the Dutch permit but we've been struggling to find housing still. She's also currently unemployed because she will have to move with me and job hunt in the Netherlands -- for which she needs the permit.

It feels like an endless cycle at this point and I'm wondering if there's an easier way to get my BSN and hers so that I'm able to sign my contract and she can look for work asap. Any help on this would be greatly appreciated 🙏

Thank you!

My husband and I are moving to Italy from the US and I’m trying to get as much information as I can from people who have actually done it.

What is the process like for moving with a dog to Italy from the states? How early should you start the process? How did you get your dog there and would you recommend doing that?

I’m hoping to avoid putting her in cargo from horror stories I have heard but am open to anything to get her there safe, comfortable and as stress free as possible.

I recently had a long conversation with my partner about racism, and I'm curious what other POC think. We live in Europe.

My partner is Brazilian, but he is from southern Brazil and has entirely German/Italian ancestry. He has blue eyes and is very visibly white/European. We were talking about someone he had met on his first day at work who said he would never live in India because it smells bad. My partner agreed the comment was racist, but didn't say anything because it was his first day and he didn't want to be confrontational. I told him that I would have at least made a face or indicated that I thought the comment was inappropriate. I'm also awkward in new social situations, so for me it wasn't really about being "confrontational." I immediately recognized the kind of casual racism behind the comment and felt uncomfortable enough to signal that.

This led to a much bigger conversation about how, when racism isn't something you've personally experienced, you can recognize that something is racist without necessarily feeling the same personal urgency to speak up about it.

My partner initially said that he understands racism because he's Brazilian and has experienced prejudice because of being Brazilian. I don't doubt that. But I was trying to explain that nationality and racialization aren't necessarily the same thing. He is very visibly white, and I think that changes how people perceive his Brazilian identity. For example, when Argentinians use racist stereotypes about Brazilians, he isn't necessarily perceived as the person those stereotypes are aimed at.

I also gave him an example from my own life. My father's original name is strongly Muslim-associated, and he changed it to a more American name after moving to the US. My partner found this interesting and was joking about it with my friends, but he hadn't considered that the name itself can make people form assumptions about my family and, by extension, about me. He had no bad intention at all, but he had never considered that I might be conscious of what people could infer from something as simple as a name. I've learned to think about these things automatically. He simply hadn't.

We also talked about a Pakistani friend who wanted to move from Europe to the US because she felt she would experience less racism. My partner was genuinely shocked because he thinks of the US as obviously more racist than Europe. I have actually experienced the opposite. I'm Turkish and white-passing, and I've experienced much more casual racism and ethnic prejudice in Europe than in the US. In Europe, people often have very specific historical and cultural associations with Turkey and Islam that I have personally encountered. In the US, people often simply don't know enough about Turkey to have those same assumptions.

I'm not saying the US is objectively less racist than Europe. I'm talking about the difference between knowing that racism exists and having to personally navigate being racialized. So I'm curious: Do people who aren't regularly racialized develop blind spots about how racism actually operates in everyday life? And do other POC recognize this from conversations they've had with white friends or partners, especially when living in Europe?

Edit: I want to clarify something because several comments seem to be focusing on whether India actually smells. I’m not saying it doesn’t, and that’s beside the point. My point is about the context and generalization of saying “I would never live in India because it smells.” You can acknowledge that a place has pollution, smoke, unpleasant smells, etc. without that being the point of the discussion. I’m talking about why a sweeping comment like that can carry a different meaning when it’s directed at a non-Western country with a long history of Western stereotypes about it being dirty, backward, or uncivilized.

Edit 2: In case the title wasn’t clear, I’m asking about the experiences of POC, not about what white people think POC experience. If you’ve never had to navigate being racialized yourself, you’re not really the perspective I’m asking for here.

Edit 3: I may have to delete this thread because of the number of messages I’ve received from Europeans saying that racism doesn’t really exist in Europe. I find it a little ironic given that the whole point of my post was about how differently racism can be perceived depending on whether you actually experience it yourself.

I keep reading the housing situation is bad, how exactly? bad like it takes 6 mohths for find a decent apartment at the right prize and the meantime you live in an overpriced average one? you spend a year to find any apartment and you live in a sharehouse in the meantime? you stay at hostel for a month while you work and get a house? is it bas only in Amsterdam and a few other big centers but it's ok outside of it and you just commute? what was other people experience in this regard? does rent still work up to 30% of income or are we talking 50-60%?

forgot to include expected income: the positions I'm looking for and the recruiters I've spoken to confirmed a gross annual salary range of 60/70k (tech)

The majority of these posts seem to be North American centric going to Europe or vice versa. I'd like to hear about people's experiences outside of this sphere. Me for instance, I've lived and worked in Mongolia, China, Turkey and Vietnam. Lots to share over 9+ years, but would love to hear how other people have liked/disliked other places that aren't the usual 'moving from us -> european country' post.

Edit: I can't imagine why people are downvoting this sort of post. I just asked for a point of view outside of the norm here.

hi all, i'm moving to egypt pretty soon and want to keep my us phone number for important accounts such as getting texts from my bank and whatnot.

what phone plans or ideas does anyone have/suggest? i looked into tello but i've heard some reviews that accounts get flagged for using vpn and google voice is blocked by some banks.

i'm getting a dual sim once i'm there since my phone supports dual sim but i just want to hear if anyone has suggestions or experiences. thank you!