u/dainsiu

Expat here. Any celebrations or cultural events in Nizwa during the Eid holiday next week? How’s the vibe there? Thinking of where to go for the holiday.

Any suggestions?

Currently my job gives me $1500 every month as housing stipend. It doesn’t matter if I use it to pay for rent or my mortgage should I buy a property here. I’m now toying with the idea of buying the apartment I currently live in.

Background: I’m in a gulf country in the Middle East. I’ve been here for a few years and I like it here very much.

Pro:
\\- residency for me and my family
\\- no property tax
\\- turn housing stipend into my income
\\- even when I leave, my company can keep renting it from me to put staff in
\\- a base for retirement

Con:
\\- slow economic growth. I don’t expect property to appreciate in value. In fact, my landlord has lost money
\\- high maintenance fee for this property, around $3500 per year
\\- potential political instability, although the country I’m in is famously stable

Should I take advantage of the housing stipend to buy a property? Or should I just keep investing? My partner and I have no property in our investment portfolio and we are already doing quite well in stock and precious metal.

Last thing: I’m not in Dubai.

Would appreciate your thoughts.

Currently my job gives me $1500 every month as housing stipend. It doesn’t matter if I use it to pay for rent or my mortgage should I buy a property here. I’m now toying with the idea of buying the apartment I currently live in.

Background: I’m in a gulf country in the Middle East. I’ve been here for a few years and I like it here very much.

Pro:
\- residency for me and my family
\- no property tax
\- turn housing stipend into my income
\- even when I leave, my company can keep renting it from me to put staff in
\- a base for retirement

Con:
\- slow economic growth. I don’t expect property to appreciate in value. In fact, my landlord has lost money
\- high maintenance fee for this property, around $3500 per year
\- potential political instability, although the country I’m in is famously stable

Should I take advantage of the housing stipend to buy a property? Or should I just keep investing? My partner and I have no property in our investment portfolio and we are already doing quite well in stock and precious metal.

Last thing: I’m not in Dubai.

Would appreciate your thoughts.

Currently my job gives me $1500 every month as housing stipend. It doesn’t matter if I use it to pay for rent or my mortgage should I buy a property here. I’m now toying with the idea of buying the apartment I currently live in.

Background: I’m in a gulf country in the Middle East. I’ve been here for a few years and I like it here very much.

Pro:
- residency for me and my family
- no property tax
- turn housing stipend into my income
- even when I leave, my company can keep renting it from me to put staff in
- a base for retirement

Con:
- slow economic growth. I don’t expect property to appreciate in value. In fact, my landlord has lost money
- high maintenance fee for this property, around $3500 per year
- potential political instability, although the country I’m in is famously stable

Should I take advantage of the housing stipend to buy a property? Or should I just keep investing? My partner and I have no property in our investment portfolio and we are already doing quite well in stock and precious metal.

Last thing: I’m not in Dubai.

Would appreciate your thoughts.

Hi all, I got invited to a pasta party and each of us is to bring a sauce while the host makes fresh egg pasta. Any of you can share recipes for a great sauce? Or any tips on how to elevate a boring sauce?

It’s my husband’s colleague who is hosting this and I don’t want to embarrass him. Please help!

Thank you all!

We didn’t have a registry, but we invited everyone to brunch around $100 per head. To my surprise, no one from my American spouse’s family gave us any wedding gifts except a card.

I am from Asia. When you throw a wedding banquet, guests give you a cash gift. It’s expected. Never have to ask. We also don’t have a registry because we just get cash gifts, or jewellery from parents.

I’m not looking to make a profit. I just find it disheartening the family gave nothing but a card. They are well off. Money is not an issue.

What’s the etiquette in America? Am I over sensitive about this issue?

Edit: Since some of you asked if it’s an actual wedding, well we had a virtual “wedding” during Covid. We didn’t see it as the real wedding and wanted to do something in person. No one gave us anything at that time.

When we could go to America after Covid, we organised a vow renewal. Everyone was invited to the ceremony, then we took everyone out to brunch to celebrate. I don’t know if this counts as the actual wedding, but to me it was because it’s in person.

This happened a few years ago and we still argue about it.

My husband was slightly depressed and mentioned he wanted to get out to the countryside. I took note and booked us a nice, expensive staycation for two nights in the countryside to surprise him. We had done staycations before and it’s something we enjoyed. He liked that area.

I told him the plan the day before and said we would leave at 11am, get lunch at a nice place on the way and check in early to enjoy the view from the room. We could even kayak in the afternoon as provided by the hotel.

He woke up that day feeling unwell. I understood. He then decided to play video games with his brother the entire morning until 11am. After that, he said he felt tired and wanted to have lunch at home instead and leave later. He claimed he needed just an hour. He wanted to rest.

I felt it was disrespectful. I planned the whole thing and he just decided right there we wouldn’t follow it. I was upset and I cancelled the staycation so we just stayed home instead for his “much needed” rest.

I reacted this way because I was fed up. He has a history of cancelling my plans. When it’s not a trip he thought it would be, or not a good day for air quality, he simply said he didn’t want to go that day despite knowing I’d put in hours to plan and book. Then no plans to make up for the weekend, no acknowledgment of my effort. We simply sat at home.

I asked him why he could sit and game with his brother for hours in the morning, but not sit in the car for 1.5 hours and lay down in the hotel bed to rest. Instead, we had to stay home waiting for him to feel better to go. To me, getting there after dark defeats the purpose of getting a nice room with a view when you can’t see it. We only got that nice room for the first day since it’s always booked.

His defence was he’s sick and I should be understanding. I get it. I just don’t get you didn’t feel sick when you video gamed the whole morning? He explained because he was just sitting on his chair, not moving much. I argued that he could have rested more in the morning to feel ready to go instead of video gaming.

My husband’s Tourette’s is getting worse and his doctor prescribed him anti-anxiety medicine.

He’s become tired and low energy all the time. He said the med has killed his sex drive. He can’t get hard, or it takes a long time to. Sex is very short if we can do it.

So we are stuck between worsening tics and a dying bedroom.

They fit the stereotype unfortunately.

When I visited for the first time, I was shocked to find out his mom mainly fed the family with microwave processed food. I got microwave hotdogs for lunch.

His parents are in their 70s and cannot walk more than 10 mins because they never get out of the house. They spend the whole day sitting on the sofa to watch TV. Been like this for 30 years.

His brother is white Christian living in the suburb with four children and a SAHM. You can guess who he voted for. He’s said that people who don’t have kids should not the right to vote. Recently he said he doesn’t mind paying 25% more for gas to keep Iran from getting nuclear weapon. I thought, “what about people outside of America who lost their homes and families because of this war?”

His family never travel or show interest in the outside world. His mom asked what’s Hagia Sophia. His brother couldn’t say the name of the country we live in (we live overseas). Every summer I ask my husband to bring them snacks and souvenirs from different countries I visited. They are never interested in foreign food or culture.

One of his best friends is obese. He never leaves his house. If my husband wants to see him, he has to drive 5 hours to go to his house. Doesn’t matter my husband only comes home once a year. My husband invited him to trips overseas, but his friend never responded. He’s only in his 30s, but he just sits at home. Not a money issue. He makes a lot in IT.

We have invited everyone to come stay with us, but none showed interest. My husband just has to go to them every summer.

They also lack social cues. When I met them for the first time to stay for a summer, his parents were okay with us sleeping on a mattress (that we paid for) on the floor in an empty room for the entire month. Never thought about setting up a proper guestroom for their son and DIL. They have money. His dad is a big spender. His brother invited us over for BBQ dinner and asked us to bring burgers and contributed two tomatoes from his garden. When we stayed over and woke up the next day, he didn’t offer any breakfast simply because he normally doesn’t eat breakfast so didn’t assume his guests would so.

When I pointed these things out, my husband would say, “we Americans are direct, genuine people. You just have to ask directly.” I never thought hospitality, especially for a new family member and a foreigner, would have to be earned.

Because of the recent events Americans are very unpopular overseas now. My husband had been mistreated simply for telling local people he’s from America.

But his family won’t know or understand. They live in their suburb bubble, don’t know anything about the outside world, voted for the orange man and support polices that hurt Americans and other people overseas. They don’t care how their actions impact the world, as long as they can happily afford that 25% hike in gas prices at home.

They fit the stereotype unfortunately.

When I visited for the first time, I was shocked to find out his mom mainly fed the family with microwave processed food. I got microwave hotdogs for lunch.

His parents are in their 70s and cannot walk more than 10 mins because they never get out of the house. They spend the whole day sitting on the sofa to watch TV. Been like this for 30 years.

His brother voted for Trump. A white Christian living in the suburb with four children and a SAHM. He’s said that people who don’t have kids should not the right to vote. Recently he said he doesn’t mind paying 25% more for gas to keep Iran from getting nuclear weapon. I thought, “what about people outside of America who lost their homes and families because of this war?”

His family never travel or show interest in the outside world. His mom asked what’s Hagia Sophia. His brother couldn’t say the name of the country we live in (we live overseas). Every summer I ask my husband to bring them snacks and souvenirs from different countries I visited. They are never interested in foreign food or culture.

One of his best friends is obese. He never leaves his house. If my husband wants to see him, he has to drive 5 hours to go to his house. Doesn’t matter my husband only comes home once a year. My husband invited him to trips overseas, but his friend never responded. He’s only in his 30s, but he just sits at home. Not a money issue. He makes a lot in IT.

We have invited everyone to come stay with us, but none showed interest. My husband just has to go to them every summer.

They also lack social cues. When I met them for the first time to stay for a summer, his parents were okay with us sleeping on a mattress (that we paid for) on the floor in an empty room for the entire month. Never thought about setting up a proper guestroom for their son and DIL. They have money. His dad is a big spender. His brother invited us over for BBQ dinner and asked us to bring burgers and contributed two tomatoes from his garden. When we stayed over and woke up the next day, he didn’t offer any breakfast simply because he normally doesn’t eat breakfast so didn’t assume his guests would so.

When I pointed these things out, my husband would say, “we Americans are direct, genuine people. You just have to ask directly.” I never thought hospitality, especially for a new family member and a foreigner, would have to be earned.

Because of the recent events Americans are very unpopular overseas now. My husband had been mistreated simply for telling local people he’s from America.

But his family won’t know or understand. They live in their suburb bubble, don’t know anything about the outside world, voted for Trump and support polices that hurt Americans and other people overseas. They don’t care how their actions impact the world, as long as they can happily afford that 25% hike in gas prices at home.