r/TwoHotTakes

Hi! so, a few disclaimers before I start the story! First of all, I’m using a throwaway account because I don’t want people who know me to know about this. Secondly, English is not my first language, so please keep that in mind while reading because I might make some mistakes. Okay, with that out of the way, here it is:

I (23F) and my boyfriend (23M) have been dating for 4 months now, and honestly, everything up to this point has been perfect. He is such a gentleman, funny, caring, and gets along with my family and friends just fine. He is the first boyfriend my family actually likes.

I started getting suspicious that something was going on about 2 weeks ago because, while we were having sex on the couch, I was on top of him, and I felt his hands come off me and stay like that until he finished. He is usually all over me, so that was kind of out of character for him. I immediately thought, “OMG, is he filming me?” but dismissed that thought and did nothing about it.

The same thing happened again in the bedroom the next day. Again, I was on top, and I felt his hands come off me and felt him searching for something. That immediately took me out of the mood, but again, I did nothing.

Just so you guys know, I am really bad with confrontation, especially if I don’t have proof of what I’m saying. I believe that same scenario happened once more, and then I was fully convinced he was filming me. I had kind of a breakdown in the shower and thought, “I need proof before I confront him.”

At first, I thought he was filming because I was going on vacation for a week to another country, and maybe he wanted something for his alone time. But I felt nauseous all the same. I tried multiple times to get his phone but was never successful. It almost seemed like he was being careful not to let his phone get close to me.

I was finally able to look through it while he was in the kitchen one night. I looked through his photos but didn’t find anything, even in the deleted folder. So I relaxed and thought, “I was just going crazy. It must be the nerves of the packing and stuff.”

So I went on vacation and came back yesterday, and everything was perfect until today.

We started having sex, and he asked me to go on top of him. I did, and again, I felt his hands come off me. At first, I didn’t think anything of it until I felt his hands searching around. I asked if everything was okay, and he grabbed a pillow to put under his elbow, saying it was hurting (he broke it a few months ago).

I relaxed a bit, but then he kept pressing my head against his chest and didn’t let me look up. Very gently, but still, kind of weird. And then I knew something was up.

I tried to look but didn’t see anything clearly. He finished and then stayed with his eyes shut because he was tired. I wanted to look at his phone but was scared he might see me looking.

I went to the bathroom, and when I came back, he got his phone. Then I saw it.

A video of us. I saw my butt and everything.

I pretended I didn’t see it, but I think he caught on that something was wrong with me because he kept asking me what was wrong.

I waited until he went to the bathroom and looked through his WhatsApp (an app for messaging that we use in my country). I didn’t see anything, but when I went to look at the WhatsApp Business app, he came back and laid next to me.

I’m so scared and have no idea what to do. My sister is on her honeymoon, so I don’t want to bother her, and my mom is out of the country right now.

I kind of want to look through his phone again to see where he is keeping these videos because I know it’s not in his camera roll and not on WhatsApp. Maybe WhatsApp Business? Or Telegram? I don’t know.

I want to understand what happened and what else might exist before I tell my sister. I love this man, and I’m so confused. I keep telling myself it’s fine, but I don’t know if it is.

He is at the gym right now and is coming back later. I don’t know what to do. I’m so lost.

I need help figuring out the safest and smartest way to approach this conversation with him, how I should handle the possibility that there are other recordings, and whether I should involve my sister before confronting him. I’m especially worried about what might happen to the videos if I confront him without knowing what he has saved or shared.

This happened many years ago, but I still pat myself on the back for it. I (then 25F)had just started working as an overnight cashier in a big chain grocery store. I’d been there a couple of months when I noticed this one employee used self checkout, but hadn’t completed the transaction.

Now, this can happen sometimes. Like, someone doesn’t realize that their card hadn’t finalized or something. I didn’t really think too much of it (assuming it was an honest mistake) and, being new, I didn’t want to cause waves over a candy bar and soda. The employee (we’ll call him Marcus 19M) did the transaction as they were leaving for the night and was already gone when I noticed it. So, I finished up the transaction with my own bank card. It wasn’t like it was a huge amount. I didn’t say anything to anyone and continued with my life. Until a few days later, when Marcus checked out again and I was making rounds adding bags and realized that, again, the transaction wasn’t finished.

This time, I made note of it for the record(we had a record book for all unfinished transactions for loss prevention purposes) notating Marcus’ name in the log as well. I figured I had done my duty and continued on with work and life thinking that it would be seen in the log and Marcus would be asked to pay.

Another few days had passed when Marcus checked out again. Once again, he’d done it will I was busy with something nearby and not paying super close attention. This time, he checked out a good $30 worth of stuff. Keep in mind this was several years ago and $30 went way further.

I did my duty and, once again, logged it in the books. Now, normally we don’t have too many of these unfinished transactions, so this note wasn’t too far down from the previous record. The record that was mysteriously missing Marcus’ name.

I fixed the previous record, finished the current record, and took a photo of both. Then I moved on with my shift.

Over the next few weeks, Marcus regularly checked out and didn’t pay, and I continuously noted it down, each time having to add Marcus’ name to the previous records because it kept mysteriously disappearing.

Finally, I had enough photos of the records and of the name in the record continuously disappearing, that I thought it was time to approach management.

I went in extremely early the next day so I could catch the manager (we’ll call her Loraine 47F) before she left for the day. I showed her the evidence on my phone and she proceeded to look over the logs as well. Then she asked me to send her the photos from my phone and, “for legal purposes” to delete them. She watched me delete them and was satisfied. I left that meeting thinking something would be done about it.

Oh, how bright and optimistically I viewed a very NOT bright and sunny world…. The obliviousness of youth.

Then, the day before Marcus’ was supposed to come in for his next shift, Loraine called me into her office. She stated that my 90 days was coming up and the the management team didn’t think this job was a right fit for me. She said they’d have to let me go. I was plenty shocked as I’d never had a single complaint from anyone, but didn’t really put up a fight as I am not good with confrontation.

When I got to my car I cried because despite all the odds against it, I really liked the job and that particular store offered great benefits. Eventually, I got over it, until I stopped into the store one day to do some grocery shopping and overheard to employees talking about how Loraine’s NEPHEW MARCUS was practically useless and they couldn’t wait til he was gone for college.

That was when it finally clicked that I had reported my manager’s nephew to her for criminal actively. This was surely why I was fired, especially considering the timing.

I still probably wouldn’t have done anything, but this was the closest store to my house, and when I got to the checkout, I was met by none other than Loraine and informed I was no longer welcome in this location, or any location she worked at for the rest of my life. THAT truly set me off.

I immediately went home to my computer that, unbeknownst to Loraine, I usually uploaded all my photos to because the storage on my phone was crap. I never would have thought to check if I hadn’t had to leave, no groceries in hand, that day because I’d been BANNED from my local store.

I emailed the entire story to corporate, photos included. I heard the rest second hand but apparently, corporate was VERY interested in the information I sent. I heard higher ups showed up one day with the regional manager, requesting the loss prevention logs, checking surveillance camera footage and asking questions about Marcus and Loraine.

A few days after their arrival, Marcus was asked into a meeting from which he left in handcuffs and escorted by the police. Loraine didn’t leave in cuffs but she did leave jobless.

We lived in a very small town with nothing better to report in their paper so I got to read the story of Marcus’ arrest and subsequent charges. Over the course of three years he’d taken over $10K in unpurchased merchandise and was subsequently convicted of a felony and served prison time.

The best part? I later ran into Loraine in another store about a year later. She was working as a bagger. The manager who’d abused her power to shield her nephew, was now working the absolute LEAST powerful and lowest paying position possible. Meanwhile, I’d had no trouble getting a better paying job with better benefits that I was extremely happy in. Being the generous and forgiving person I am🤭, I let her help with loading my groceries.

While she was loading everything into my car, I got a few dollars out of my wallet to tip her (I’m not a monster after all) but grabbed a post it from my bag too. I wrote a note that basically said, “Sorry Karma B-sl@pped you so hard, but hopefully this helps.” I wrapped the note in the bills, so I didn’t get to see her face when she read it, but I still chuckle a bit imagining it. 😂

So yeah, that’s my best petty revenge story. Hope you enjoyed it.

as i suspected my boyfriend i realise that he using bathroom too much and sometime get sick with flue ,sleeping too much long hours and waking up all night , have no friends at all , always very aggressive , his eyes the white always big , his eating a lot , does not care about anything related to house hold only going to work and come back very late with very strange smell in his cloth and am asking because i never saw him use it at home he telling me in night he is going to gym ( he don't like gym at all 100% he is not going to gym i can fell that ) he has gain wight he have history of smoking weed before but he told me he quiet but i don't believe him i search the house didn't find nothing am worry because i feel he is not doing anything in life like taking responsibility and last thing he is addicted to corn so i don't know what to do how can i know he is taking this kind of things and it effect our life not only him and last thing am at home not working because he is not let me going or looking for job easily like controlling person .

My boyfriend (35M) recently broke up with me (28F) after a year and a half together. For privacy, I’ll call him Jimmy.
We met working together at a restaurant. I started there in October, and the following February he asked me to make things official. I said yes even though I felt like I was still getting to know him. Looking back now, there were things early on that made me uncomfortable, and part of what I’m struggling with after the breakup is wondering why I kept trying so hard to make the relationship work instead of taking those feelings seriously.
Before we officially got together, we went to a rave on New Year’s Eve with his friend group. The day before, I found out his ex was going to be there. I was nervous, but I figured I could handle it as long as Jimmy made me feel secure. At one point during the night, I felt like she was trying to assert herself with me, and the whole energy became uncomfortable.
After we started dating, there were also times Jimmy would be showing me something on his phone and I would see his ex’s name pop up on Snapchat or Instagram. I realized they were still in contact. He reassured me that nothing was going on and that they were only friends. She’s part of his larger friend group, so I understood that asking him to completely cut her out wasn’t necessarily realistic, but their continued communication still bothered me.
Jimmy also has a lot of female friends. That was an adjustment for me because I’d never dated someone with so many close friendships with women. Most of the time we all hung out as a group, and there were women in the group whom I trusted completely. So my problem wasn’t simply that he had female friends.
There was one particular friend, though, who always gave me a strange feeling. I’ll call her Sam. They met in college and had supposedly been friends ever since. She lives out of the country, and I had never met her.
One day while I was working, Jimmy suddenly texted me that he, Sam, and another female friend were going to a fancy restaurant. I hadn’t even known Sam was back in town. It caught me off guard because there had been no mention of her visiting or these plans beforehand.
Another time, Jimmy had recently started his career and was doing really well. Completely out of nowhere, he said something along the lines of wishing Sam could see how well he was doing. We hadn’t been talking about her. Something about that stuck with me.
Eventually, I directly asked him whether he and Sam had ever had “a thing.” He told me no. I accepted his answer because I wanted to trust him and figured maybe my insecurity was making me read too much into their friendship.
Months later, Jimmy went away for about a week because one of his close friends was dying. During that time I noticed Sam interacting with his posts on Facebook. Months earlier I had sent her a friend request that had gone unanswered. That alone obviously doesn’t prove anything—she doesn’t owe me a Facebook friendship—but combined with the feeling I’d already had about their relationship, it brought the issue back into my head.
I called Jimmy while he was at the hospital and asked him again whether he and Sam had ever had a thing.
This time he said yes.
I know the timing of that conversation was terrible. His friend was dying, emotions were extremely high, and looking back I wish I had waited until he came home. I take responsibility for that.
But at the same time, I was devastated because I had already directly asked him this question months earlier and he’d told me no. I had spent all that time convincing myself that I was being insecure and needed to trust what he was telling me, only to find out that my intuition about there being some kind of history between them wasn’t completely unfounded.
When he came home about a week later, he broke up with me.
And that’s where I’m struggling to make sense of everything.
These weren’t the only problems throughout our relationship. Jimmy would openly check out other women in front of me. I told him repeatedly that it hurt me, but he viewed noticing attractive women as normal human behavior and didn’t see it the same way I did. From my perspective, even after knowing how much it bothered me, the behavior continued.
There were also times when his naturally charming personality came across as flirtatious to me. And throughout the relationship I often felt like I was asking for more time, effort, reassurance and consideration.
So over time I became increasingly insecure and increasingly vocal about everything that bothered me. It probably felt to him like I was constantly complaining. From my perspective, I kept bringing up the same issues because I never felt like they were actually resolved.
I can recognize that my insecurity became unhealthy for me. I don’t want to pretend I handled every situation perfectly, because I didn’t. I questioned things, overthought things and sometimes brought things up at the wrong time. I’m sure being on the receiving end of that wasn’t easy either.
But what I’m having such a difficult time accepting is that I kept trying to communicate about behaviors that were making me unhappy while simultaneously staying in the relationship and hoping things would eventually change.
He didn’t believe maintaining friendships with women he’d previously had history with was disrespectful. I did.
He didn’t view checking out other women as a significant relationship issue. I did.
I needed more transparency and reassurance surrounding certain friendships. He apparently felt like I should trust him without needing those things.
Neither of us was changing our position, yet instead of recognizing that maybe we were fundamentally incompatible and walking away myself, I stayed. I kept fighting for the relationship until eventually he was the one who left me.
And now I’m devastated over losing someone whose behavior I spent so much of the relationship being unhappy about.
That’s the part I can’t wrap my head around.
Why did I stay and keep asking someone to change things that were clearly important to him instead of accepting that his boundaries and mine were incompatible? And how do I stop blaming myself for “complaining him out of the relationship” when the things I was complaining about were also the things making me miserable?
I would genuinely appreciate outside perspectives, including if you think there are things I need to take accountability for. I’m trying to understand what happened so I don’t repeat the same dynamic in another relationship.

My husband (45M) and I (44F) have two sons, let’s call them Parker (8) and Wolf (5). Today was their first day of school.
Parker already attends this school and has had problems with bullying and some negative experiences with both students and staff. We’ve worked hard to rebuild his confidence and prepare him for this year.
For Wolf though, today was his first day of “big-kid school.” He was leaving preschool and starting at a much larger school, so this felt like a huge milestone for him.
This morning, while I was getting both boys ready, my husband focused entirely on Parker. He took Parker’s first-day pictures, got him ready to leave, and told him to say goodbye to me and Wolf.
I stopped him and said, “whoa wait, you have to wait, Wolf is going too. It’s his first day and we still need to take his picture, and walk him to his classroom.”
My husband said the gate was going to close. It was only 8:30, the principal had said the gate would stay open until around 8:45 for the first day, and we live directly across the street. We had time.
What bothered me was that my husband seemed completely prepared to walk out without Wolf and without acknowledging that this was Wolf’s first day too. We hadn’t taken his picture with the first-day plaque or done anything to celebrate his milestone.
He eventually waited, and we took Wolf’s pictures before walking over together. Then Parker announced that he wanted to walk across the street by himself, probably to show that he was confident and independent. Once Parker didn’t need him, my husband shifted his attention to Wolf, held his hand, and helped walk him to class.
Everything technically worked out, but I can’t stop wondering: Would my husband have given Wolf that attention if Parker had wanted us to walk him to his classroom?
This hit a nerve because it feels like part of a larger pattern of favoritism.
For a little background, my husband was extremely involved in my pregnancy with Parker. He attended appointments and classes, helped throughout the birth, did skin-to-skin contact, stayed up at night, fed him, and actively bonded with him.
I became pregnant with Wolf during the pandemic, so I understand that circumstances were different, but still my husband was noticeably less engaged. He wouldn’t sit through the virtual birth classes and offered very little emotional support while I was experiencing prenatal depression.
When Wolf was born, my husband quickly left the hospital because he felt he needed to be with Parker. Once we were home, he continued focusing almost entirely on making sure Parker was okay and made very little effort to bond with Wolf.
And as Wolf got older, he became extremely attached to me and often rejected his dad. My husband often becomes resentful bc Wolf always wants “Mama,” and I think bc of that he makes less of an effort.
For example, there is a big difference on how he acknowledges their milestones. My husband becomes very invested in Parker’s birthdays, school events, and important moments. With Wolf, he is less likely to help with birthdays, attend performances, or create the same excitement.
That’s why this morning felt like a tipping point. I understand why he wanted to make sure Parker felt supported, especially given Parker’s history at the school. But supporting Parker shouldn’t mean treating Wolf like an afterthought on one of the biggest days of his life so far.
My husband went straight to work after drop-off, so we haven’t discussed it yet. Should I confront him about this when everything technically worked out? Am I reading too much into a rushed morning, or does this sound like a pattern of favoritism that needs to be addressed?
And how can I talk to him about this without the conversation immediately turning into a defensive argument? Any advice is greatly appreciated.

Hi everyone, hoping for some advice :)

My partner (26M) and I (24F) just got engaged! We're lucky enough that my fiancé inherited a significant sum of money, so we're able to pay for our dream wedding outright. We're aiming for the end of 2027, which means things are moving fast on the planning front.

I'm so excited to ask my girls to be my bridesmaids. Here's the current lineup:

1–3. My cousins, who are also my best friends and have been since we were kids
4. A friend of 20 years
5. A friend of 10 years
6. A newer friend, but currently my closest one — we see each other daily, met through work, and she's honestly one of the loveliest people I know

There won't be a maid of honor; the girls will just be splitting the MOH duties between them. My fiancé has exactly six groomsmen too, since it's a lifelong friend group who've all stood up in each other's weddings, so six felt like the natural number to match on both sides.

Here's where it gets complicated: I have a sister.

She's my younger sibling, and we've never been especially close. She tends to make things about herself, moved interstate two years ago, and hasn't really made an effort to stay in touch beyond the odd text. I know that if I don't ask her to be a bridesmaid, she'll make it about her — but I also know the decision won't go down quietly. She'll likely hold a grudge, and my mum will be heartbroken not to see her up there with the others.

To make things trickier, my sister recently came out as a lesbian and has accused our family of being bigoted (she has a long history of casting herself as the victim). I already know that if she's left out of the bridal party, she'll frame it as me being unsupportive of her sexuality — even though that has nothing to do with my decision.

I've made peace with it: I want her at the wedding, just not as a bridesmaid. What I'm struggling with is how to tell her in a way that causes the least amount of fallout. I don't want my cousins to feel like they were chosen "over" my own sister, and honestly, my current group of six has such a lovely dynamic — I know her presence would throw that off completely, given the drama she tends to bring.

How would you approach breaking this to her? Any advice is so appreciated <3

EDIT: My family is absolutely not bigoted in anyway - I have an older trans sibling that is the favourite hahaha, the younger one has historically had a victim mentality long before she came out

Hi everyone,

I have been listening to the THT podcast for a few years now and now I've finally mustered up the courage to write my first Reddit post concerning an issue that's been bothering me for 2 years now. Sorry that this text has gotten so long. I am European and English is not my first language, so please be kind.

Let me jump straight to the story:

My friend Abby (27f) and I (28f) are both bridesmaids at each others' weddings next year, which I couldn't be more excited about as she is the "mama bear" of our friend trio and is honestly just an overall caring person, which I love about her. 2 years ago, the three of us started doing girls nights, which Abby is a huge fan of. I also happen to love them since I love chatting, good food and a having one or two tasty drinks but I've noticed that our definitions of a fun girls night differ quite a bit.

Abby always mentions that she wants us to get blackout drunk as she "needs this". If a girls night in the past ended with us not being as drunk as she had hoped we'd be, she would comment that we needed to go hard next time even though I thought we had had a really fun night with her.

Our other friend, Laura (25f), has started drinking less and less at these girls nights, which I admire. As a result, for the past 1.5 years, Abby has sort of been complaining to some people around us about Laura's "lack of enthusiasm" on our girls nights since she doesn't participate in the heavy drinking anymore and gets tired around midnight (which is totally fair, I usually want to go to bed even before that too). I always defend Laura by telling Abby that this has nothing to do with us but I have started noticing, that Abby equates one's willingness to party with one's commitment to a friendship. She sometimes lets it slip - though very indirectly - that she thinks Laura is currently really letting her down as a friend, which I don't agree with at all.

Since I am a huge people pleaser and I don't want to lose any of these friendships, I have been sort of "picking up the slack" so to say. I at least want to give Laura what she and I both desperately crave: heading to bed at a reasonable hour without a hangover the next day. Laura has even thanked me for sacrificing myself so she can do whenever she feels like. Unfortunately, I think by doing so, I have ultimately branded myself as the "drinking buddy", now that Laura is not fulfilling that role anymore. Now I usually am the one hanging out with Abby until 4 am and getting drunk every time we see each other. It's become this vicious cycle of me feeling the pressure, getting drunk, staying out late and then regretting it the day after since this usually ruins all my other weekend plans due to the hangover and lack of sleep. I don't want to live like this anymore and I don't like what it's doing to my health either. I don't even really like alcohol that much, without the social pressure I would probably have a drink once in a few weeks or so.

When we initially started throwing these girls nights, I tried to draw some boundaries, saying on some evenings that I wouldn't drink that night and when that strategy didn't work, I started making excuses. Other people in my life kept telling me to just say no, to stand my ground, which I did. I even bought my own non-alcoholic Spritz kit, so I could still have a drink with the girls. But she always sort of laughed at me and poured me a strong drink anyway, which she pressured me to finish in one gulp. She usually also monitors our drinking paces, saying we need to keep up with her and boooy, she is fast. I once ordered a mocktail at a restaurant since I'd already had two cocktails and I wanted a bit of a buffer, but she kept joking that my next drink "would have to be alcoholic again", since I couldn't let her down.

On the rare occasions when I have really good excuses for not drinking so much, she reminds me that I would need to make up for my lack of drinking on the next occasion. I have even had a few chats with her in the sense of "hey, I love hanging out but I generally want to live healthier and quit drinking". She usually reacts understanding but doesn't say much, and then next time reverts back to praising blackout drunk hangouts since they're more fun than a sober ones. I feel like what I want doesn't count and even the thought of it makes me so desperate to break out of this cycle. I have really started hating myself for this.

The first months of 2026 have been really hard on me. I have gained so much weight and dealt with bodyshaming from my mum, which has spiraled into a bit of a depressive episode. I now have a cortisol belly and it doesn't help that I am drunk every time I see Abby, which is once or even twice a week.

Since Abby was busy these past two weeks, I have not had any alcohol and it honestly feels great. I am currently gaining more resolve to become better and I am planning on drinking nothing for a whole month and working on my overall health. I would really love to extend this goal to only drinking once a month until my wedding day next year in fall, as I want to feel like myself again by then and I think quitting completely might be too extreme. The issue? Next week, we have a brunch reservation and in September, we'll go dress shopping for Abby's wedding dress. Additionally, Abby is getting married one month before me, so I feel like I can't really do that to her leading up to her wedding, especially since it's really important to her.

She has already announced to our group chat that she expects us to "get drunk af" on each of those events. I feel like in order to be a good bridesmaid, I need to participate and be there for the bride, at least on occasions such as dress shopping, the bachelorette party or the wedding itself. Isn't that what's expected from me socially? I don't expect that from my bridesmaids but it's also not something I generally value much. I don't want to let her down, I really want to be there for her but would I be wrong for sticking to my goal regardless? Should I wait until her wedding's over? I don't want to be selfish here.

I would be grateful for any advice or strategies on how to deal with this situation, thank you all in advance! :)

TLDR: Got a follow request, but it disappeared. I requested to follow. They declined my request. I saw my ex blocked me right after this time. My ex and this person are mutuals. Concerned my ex thinks I was creeping on him, hence why he blocked me. I am not going to text my ex because I am respecting our no-contact, but my ex probably thinks I was creeping and I wasn’t. What do I do?

So a few weeks ago, I got a follow request on Instagram. I got the notification, clicked on it, but then the request disappeared. I was confused, so I searched the person and requested to follow the person. I noticed today that the person declined my follow request. I also noticed that my ex blocked me on Instagram.

My ex and I are no contact and he had removed me from being one of his followers and unfollowed me. But after I requested to follow this person my ex completely blocked me on Instagram. I wasn’t checking, but I noticed because I have my ex tagged in one of my Instagram post and I was trying to figure out how to remove the pictures of him in the post without deleting the entire post. And that’s why I noticed that he was no longer tagged in the photo and his comment was no longer there. But our past direct message conversation still shows that he has an account so I know he has an account. I’m just blocked.

For context, my ex and I broke up about two months ago. And have been no contact for most of it. We were together for over two years. The breakup started mutual, but he ultimately decided to go to no contact after some time.

I’m just very concerned because this individual is mutuals with my ex. There is a high probability that this person and my ex are talking as more than friends. And this person may have told my ex that I requested to follow him. So I’m worried my ex blocked me because he thought I was creeping on them. Which I wasn’t. I was just confused why this one person requested to follow me which is why I requested to follow this person and at the time I didn’t realize my ex and this person were mutuals.

I am not going to reach out to my ex clarifying the situation to respect our no contact. But I also don’t want my ex to think I’m stalking him. What do I do?

Throw away account. My (27 year old F) bridesmaid (28 year old F) has been spreading lies within my friend group and today was my last straw when I found out one of them was about me and my fiancée (28 year old M).

I have been friends with my bridesmaid, let’s call her Anne, for over a year now. She is one of my newer friends in my bridesmaid group, but when we met we instantly hit it off. We had so many things in common and had a lot of meaningful, deep conversations very early on. I started traveling for work in California with my fiancée a few months after we first met, but we stayed in contact while I was out there and it was like I never left when I came home for the holidays.

I should also add, Anne and I are both openly bisexual women. While I was home over the holidays I talked with her about how in the future, my fiancée and are open to having a threesome. In my New Year’s Eve drunken state, when she asked who we would be interested in, I responded with, probably someone similar to you. Referencing that she is pretty, fun to be around, and possibly planning on moving for work in the future as well (which would limit it to a one-time thing). She seemed instantly into it, saying she would be down if we ever wanted to consider her but that she was more so into me than my fiancée.

The next day, I told my fiancée and he laughed, indifferent about the discussed arrangement and said that could maybe work but we never put that much thought into it.

Me and my fiancée then left back to California a couple of days later. Me and Anne continued to chat platonically while I was away as if the new year’s conversation never happened, which I was okay with considering I was really drunk and embarrassed for alluding to anything in general.

When we moved home permanently this past spring Anne started making little comments about the threesome conversation, which didn’t really bother me, until she started doing so in front of/to our mutual friends. I talked with my fiancée about having a conversation with Anne to clear the air.

When I did bring it up to her we talked for a while about my sexuality and issues I am clearly having with myself and my sexual identity. I also put a strong emphasis on apologizing if I made her uncomfortable and checking to make sure I did not make her feel this way. She reassured me a series of times that she was also into it, that she had been thinking about me/it while I was away and not uncomfortable at all. She then told me she catches feelings easily for friends so that she usually sets a hard line for herself to not get involved sexually with friends. We both agreed that maybe it was not the best idea and I asked to close the door on the conversation about this and just focus on us being really close friends. She agreed to focus on the friendship but pushed back on us closing the door.

After this we focused on our friendship for a few months and got even closer. She even opened up to me about two of our mutual friends who are in a relationship, closer with her than me, who have made her feel uncomfortable on numerous occasions and how I never have. She continued to reiterate to me that I had never made her feel uncomfortable and that my fiancée in particular is one of the men in the group she is most comfortable around.

I, at this point, just saw the threesome conversation as a blip in our friendship timeline, and because of that and how close we had gotten, I did end up asking her to be a bridesmaid. Also to note, she is a part of but new to my larger group of friends and 3 other girls from this group who she is also close with we’re going to be bridesmaids anyways. I had second thoughts because of the threesome conversation and our friendship being so new, but wanted to give it the benefit of the doubt.

Flash forward to this week when our friend group got back from a festival that she also attended. Multiple mutual friends are now telling me that at the festival she was spreading lies about our friends, including me and my fiancée. She claimed that two of my bridesmaids are bullying her. And that me and my fiancée tried to force her into having a threesome, so much so that she is now uncomfortable around us.

This completely caught me off guard considering the lengths I went to to make sure she was not uncomfortable and the constant reassurance from her that she was also not uncomfortable. I now have to confront her and have a conversation about this. If this is true and she is spreading this false information, I’m not so sure that I can continue to have her be a part of my wedding. I know in my heart that I did not intend to do anything to make her uncomfortable, but I worry that regardless of my vigilance, maybe my impression of the situation is wrong. Help.

Me (26f) and my bf (28m) have been together for almost 2 years now. The sex life is good, but hasn't been great. We've spiced up here and there and its going in the right direction. I've opened up about a couple of my kinks and we've tried them out with success, so I really wanted to push him about his. I am pansexual and my previous relationship was with a woman. In that relationship I would typically be the top and in general the more dominant. We talked about this a bit the other night and he made a comment about how I would have loved in college. Of course I love him now but in the context of the convo I pressed him. He admitted to me that in college he experimented with gender roles and his sexuality, specifically crossdressing. I got so excited and already started planning our girls night but he pushed back. He said hes a different person now and grew out of the phase in his life. I started asking him more questions and what the biggest fantasy he had at that time. It went a lot deeper than just crossdressing and was more like femdom, which I was really interested in trying with him.

I pushed him for a about a week before he agreed to experiment with me. I got so excited and wanted to make it the best experience for him so I ordered a bunch of stuff for him like clothes, lingerie, shoes in his size, wig, kinky items like restraints, plug, strap-on, chastity cage, etc. We both agreed that if we were going to do it we had to do it right so I had him remove all his body hair, plucked his brows, did his nails, everything.

Once I finished his makeup and got his wig on and dressed it was pretty shocking. He looked so pretty!! Like actually very hot it felt like a completely different person. We just started with drinking wine and chatting. I still couldn't believe this was the man I loved, hearing his voice come out of a pretty woman's mouth was jarring. I told him to try and feminize his voice a bit, acting like it was kinky, but in reality I was getting a little uncomfortable. His slight voice change actually helped and we kept on with our girls night. I told him to put on some porn for us to watch. The video was interesting it was like a trance music video with different clips of crossdressers and trans girls having sex with men. I didn't mind however what caught me off guard was him making comments about the men and their bodies, how good it must feel, etc.

When it came time for sex I had him put on some fetish wear and model it for me. We also did a sub/domme dynamic where he had to earn release from a chastity cage. He was 100% submissive and wanted to be referred to by female pronouns. We did some light kink like humiliation and spanking before I pegged him. He seemed to enjoy himself a lot. I didn't mind it but it was still jarring seeing the man I love like this.

I made sure to do a lot of post care because I can tell this was an intense moment for him. He was happy and thankful that I allowed him to open up. At the time I felt sort of neutral, but leaning towards not wanting to incorporate it into our sex life. I didn't want to take the wind out of his sails immediately so I decided to wait a few days.

A few days later I popped into his apartment to drop something off before I went out of town for work and he had a full face of makeup and a stack of Amazon boxes. He greeted me completely normal and said he was trying on some new stuff he ordered. He begged me to stay so he could do a fashion show but I said I was just dropping by real quick. He then sorta tried to seduce me and show me he was wearing the chastity cage and anal plug I got him. I agreed to a "quickie" but it was just me using a toy on him.

When I got back from my work trip a few days later he picked me up and everything seemed normal. I told him to stay at my place that night. We went to bed and started getting intimate. I noticed his body was still hairless and his toenails were still painted. After we finished I asked him about it and he said that he might as well keep things that way. I was slightly confused until he started showing me pictures and videos he took of himself crossdressed from when I was out of town. He was super excited to show me the new outfits and makeup looks he tried. Again I didn't want to take the wind out of his sails and played along.

Things have been normal for the most part since then, but it seems like hes incorporating his kink into his everyday life now. Even though I was the one who pushed him to explore it again I feel like I've lost all attraction to him. I still love him and his feminine side, but it now it feels like the love I have for my platonic girlfriends. I tried to give it some time but I just can't some of the images out of my head. Its like I don't see him as the man I love anymore. I miss having that masculine energy complimenting me. I am going out of town again soon and I'm filled with anxiety about what he is going to do when I'm gone. Part of me just wants to end thins and tell him we can be "girl friends." I know its a big decision after two years but I don't see myself going back to how I felt before. I feel guilty because I'm the one who pushed him even after he said he had grown out of it.

So am I the asshole?

I (26 Y/O F) work as a substitute teacher while in med school. Last year I took a long-term assignment at the high school I graduated from. Some of the staff had been my teachers, it was a very familiar atmosphere, however I still felt as the usual substitute does, unwelcome. Not complaining about this, just trying to give a feel for the situation.

I ended up leaving that one early because I wanted to get more experience in healthcare. I felt bad and guilty. I didn’t want to do it, but I also knew that I need to get my foot in the door and healthcare, which is why I’m per diem at the hospital now as a tech. I am in med school so I wanted to get out into the field. When that didn’t work out because I was falling behind in school and my grades were suffering. I went back to subbing.

This school year another long-term position opened at the same school and I took it. Naively because I did feel some negative energy. Probably due to me leaving last term. They gave me the keys at 5pm the day before school started and casually said nothing was in the room. I didn’t know they meant literally nothing…

The first day I walked into a classroom that felt completely unprepared. There were no supplies, no chair for me, a large black widow with babies and an egg sac, broken equipment such as the TV and clock, and the previous teacher’s documents and checks still sitting in the desk even though he had only left days earlier. I wasn’t set up on the school systems and there were no plans, despite being told I’d get a curriculum. There was nothing on the walls, completely blank. A broken TV. Desks all pushed into a corner. It was bad, I felt terrible walking into it and I felt even more terrible for the students.

I asked the janitor if he was busy. He said he wasn’t, but still didn’t help with any of the issues. For three days straight. I met with the department head more than once about plans and got nothing useful. He mainly talked about the extra pay he was getting for “training me” but he flaunted he was the highest paid staff member.

Students could tell I wasn’t set up to teach. Some transferred out. Not blaming them at all, I’d do the same. Some started saying “aren’t we supposed to be doing math?” A few aides even said out loud that the lack of support felt intentional. I was already carrying the guilt of leaving the earlier long-term at that school, and everything started feeling personal on top of being unprofessional. Office staff wouldn’t even give me supplies for students knowing I am just a sub and don’t get stipends like actual teachers. I just wanted to help honestly.

Mind you, I had NOTHING no curriculum, no worksheets, NOTHING and as a sub, it’s not our job to make plans. We’re not even trained on that, half of us sub teach because we have a bachelor’s degree and it’s work. I’ve directly been told to not make plans for students as I do not know the curriculum. Enough said. When given plans and functional classroom, I can confidently teach these kids some math.

On last Friday I killed about 7-8 baby black widows. I had it. This room felt like a safety hazard at this point. I had already asked the janitor if he had cleaned out the black widows and he just laughed and said no. During my free periods I went to district HR, told them what was going on, and asked to be removed from the assignment. They were understanding and took me off it. I felt guilty afterward for making noise and even bought them a small thank-you gift. I also left the supplies I had bought out of my own pocket with a note.

I don’t plan on going back to that specific school. I’m still subbing at other sites and interviewing elsewhere for a fresh start. But I keep turning it over. I know I left a long-term early once before. This is hitting me deeply. I’m saddened for the students that their admin set them up like this. All school districts have their issues but am I wrong for feeling it was somewhat intentional?

My 10 year high school reunion is happening this October and I’m on the fence about attending or not. 

My high school is in a very rural town in the USA and after graduating, I (and my entire family) moved away from this town and haven’t been back since. I now live out of the country (a 16ish hour flight away) and my family live in an entirely different state (a 3 hour flight away). 

This year is my 10 year high school reunion, and given my high school is in a very small town, theres only 50ish people from the graduating class who are invited. I reached out directly to someone from high school asking if there would be any reunion arranged. I was then added to a Facebook page for the reunion and saw that they had previously posted a list of names of people who were missing from the Facebook group. My name was not included. So I was overlooked, and it wasn’t because I live abroad now since the names of the foreign exchange students from our year were on the list. Not a very nice feeling, since I went to school with these people for years and we aren’t even a big class size. 

Now that the reunion is approaching, they’ve published the itinerary for the weekend. The reunion will consist of attending the high school football game on Friday, meeting in someone’s backyard for a bonfire after the game and meeting for a catered lunch in the local park the next day. They also said people will need to bring their own folding chair to each event except the football game. 

Now knowing the itinerary, I’m feeling less inclined to go. Since I live out of the country and my family don’t live in that town anymore, it would take a lot to attend. To attend I’d need to take several days off from work, buy plane tickets, rent a car (since the small town is a 3 hour drive from the nearest airport), book several nights in a hotel and I guess also buy a folding chair. Also my new husband won’t be able to attend with me, given the cost, how far it is and how much time off he’d need to take to attend. And I wouldn’t be able to extend the trip to visit any of my family in their state, which would feel like a bit of a waste to travel all that way and not even see family (who I typically only see once a year anyway). 

I do feel a bit bad about it though since I haven’t seen many of these people in years. I also got married a few months ago and my best friend from high school came all the way to my new country for the wedding. And now that the roles are reversed, and I have the opportunity to attend an event in her country,  I’m on the fence about it. 

Also side note, my best friend still lives in the states but not in the same town as our high school, so staying with/driving with her isn’t an option for the visit. 

So would I be an asshole if I skipped the high school reunion?

My husband and I met back in 2019, after speaking online for years beforehand. He was fully aware of all of my struggles. My eating disorder, my weight, and my social anxiety that left me somewhat reclusive only interacting with close family and friends online. He knew that I wore a mask, hoodie, and sometimes sunglasses out in public. He told me he was the last person who’d ever judge me over it, that he wore a hoodie and sunglasses due to anxiety before. He acted like he related and accepted me 100%. Then we met in person, and he rejected me. He seemed embarrassed in public not wanting to hold hands, or do other things he talked about online, claiming he disliked pda.

I managed to lose weight before and after we met, and he eventually showed interest, but it felt forced. For a year he frequently turned me down and refused PDA. I asked him to be honest, to tell me he didn’t find me attractive or that he was embarrassed of me, but he said neither were true. He tried to push me to speak to his family, knowing I’d struggle, getting angry when I did. He avoided his friends and said he was avoiding them before I came. He called me inept after we ran into one of them, and I remained silent. I had an eating disorder still, as did he, and we’d often go to shops and buy junk food. He’d get anxious in the small shop in his village as he said the employees judged us. He said he was if we bought normal food but he still seemed anxious. He avoided

He broke down and told me he had OCD about not finding me attractive. He started taking meds he said killed his libido. For months he showed barely any interest up until I lost more weight, and dressed differently. He said if I looked as I did then, when we met, he would’ve been all over me. I doubted his libido was low. I caught him looking at porn, which he denied, and then said was to test himself. I started to suspect he was cheating due to various suspicious actions, and how he was treating me. I doubted he was attracted to me still. He continued to criticise my anxiety, and how I’d go quiet around people, with him talking on behalf of me at times. He said it made us both look stupid and that people were giving us dirty looks.

He refused to go into places with me until I pushed myself to talk to someone. Afterwards, I said I was proud of myself and he said the same. But then he told the woman, who was wearing a mask due to Covid, had frowned at me. I asked why he said that and he said he didn’t know why. He told me later that day that two guys, who were laughing behind us at an ATM, were laughing at me. When I got upset, he ditched me in the city. I made progress in time with talking to people, but any time I slipped up he would complain about how awkward it was, and would tell me people gave me weird looks. I never stopped believing he was embarrassed of me. He would go quiet on me around people, often times women, and told me it was because he had anxiety talking around others.

If he were to run into anyone he knew, even slightly, he’d stand and talk to them just fine, regardless of how many people were around. He said he felt like he had to. He would seem more focused on other people, usually women, than he did me. I’d struggle to keep his attention as he’d be looking around himself, at every woman who walked by, sometimes staring at them, and not listening to me. He denied he was looking at woman, said he looked at everyone men included, and that I just wasn’t taking that in. He also said that they were in front of him but he’d turn his head to look. He’d look after I said something, or made a noise, or before he responded to me. When I merely looked back and smiled at him, he asked why I did that, and looked at a female employee nearby.

I felt like he was overly critical of me and like he was the main one judging me. I always doubted he had any anxiety about himself considering he seemed more focused on me. When I did the same things to him, just once, he assumed the same things. I looked at a woman after he spoke, before I responded, and he asked if I was embarrassed. I went silent around a man and he asked if I was trying to look single. I eventually regained weight, and he showed less interest, blaming meds. He said it had nothing to do with my weight and never did. Then he began to put me down over my weight in arguments, telling me I let myself go, calling me fat and ugly, and saying that guys prefer thinner women. He swore he didn’t mean any of this, and only said it to hurt me.

For a year he insisted he was more attracted to me. Then I caught him ogling another woman, who was rail thin, and called him a creep. He denied and then went on a rant about how preferring thin women is normal biologically, and how being attracted to fat women is a fetish. He referenced his ex, who he told me he wasn’t attracted to but slept with anyways, to avoid hurting her feelings, claiming he struggled during it. I asked if he also meant me and he said no. I told him to leave me if he doesn’t find me attractive. He asked “What was I meant to do, leave when you first gained weight? I take my vows more seriously than that.” I said I stayed with him, and treated him no differently when he gained weight, something that happened shortly after we met.

He said “Yeah, well, I’m not you.” He admitted he was a bit more attracted to me when I weighed less. At the time I was wearing outfits I wanted to wear, as opposed to covering myself up, in an attempt to feel better about myself. He told me the outfits looked good and fit before I bought them. And then told me they didn’t, and looked bad, afterwards. One of times he told me in public. When he began to act on edge in public a few years back doing things like standing apart from me, speaking to me less, looking around himself, and walking off when I was talking. I figured he was embarrassed of my weight. He started to avoid going into stores with me, for around a month, and blamed it on anxiety and certain triggers.

He blamed two elderly male employees in a local store, and said they made him anxious. He said that going in too often, and too late, also made him anxious. We went in less and that didn’t help. I tried to go in earlier and he refused, saying it was too busy, but then he had no issue with going in alone. He started to volunteer at a crisis hotline and started a class, and was very social and outgoing in both. He told me people invited me into where he volunteered and then discouraged me when I tried to go in. He later said I would’ve sat there mute and it would’ve been awkward. He went from encouraging me to visit his grandparents to discouraging me, and complaining about it being awkward, after previously reassuring me that it was fine I didn’t talk much.

I started to wear my mask again. He didn’t want me at the mechanics with him. He acted like it was a good thing and that it proved he wasn’t embarrassed of me, but of my mask. He criticised how I was dressed another time and didn’t want me going into the grocery store with him. We went to America, to visit my family, and he refused to go into stores with me there both times. The last time in particular. I went in everyone alone as he sat in the car. He promised both times once back we’d go more places, and he’d show me he wasn’t embarrassed of me as I think, but that didn’t happen. Once we came back last year he mainly offered to go to the beach, a park, or the cinema and hesitated to go anywhere else. Now, we’ve been back over a year, and the primary place we go to is the grocery store at night.

For a few months I didn’t go into the grocery stores because he makes me more anxious. He seemed more on edge with me sitting in the car, wanting to get in and out quickly, not wanting to park anywhere too public. Once asking me not to touch his face because someone could look over. All of his reasons for being anxious he used before are no longer applicable. The elderly male employees left ages ago. We don’t go to the store as often as we used to. But he is still just as anxious. Sometimes he tries to avoid the grocery store for no reason. He tries to convince me to get deliveries or get food for multiple days to avoid having to go. Most days we don’t go anywhere. He blames it on issues with finances but it was this way before.

Last summer, he refused to go anywhere, and blamed it on mental health. He seems on edge when we do go somewhere, including to the park, regardless if anyone is around. And he continues to make comments about things I do. If I make a mistake, or walk a certain way, he says something. The main thing being that whatever I am doing draws attention, which he says is what adds to his anxiety as he doesn’t want attention drawn. He says he doesn’t care about my mask but frequently tells me to take it off, that I don’t need it, and says it’s because he feels bad I think that I have to wear it. I started to cover my face, which I do now to hide the mask, and he tells me not to do that as it draws more attention than the mask does. It’s exhausting.

He is seeing a therapist. He has used her against me several times, as he’s done with his family and even strangers. He told her about my anxiety and about me wearing a mask. He has repeatedly told me how she questioned me wearing a mask, and how it helped me with my anxiety as it would draw more attention to me rather than less.

hello :) so i have been with my Korean boyfriend for a couple of weeks. i am American, so naturally there is a lot of cultural differences between us. but i like learning about him, and he thinks i live so free lol so i think its mutual.

i have over 40 tattoos. they're mostly cute tattoos, and i dont have any on my face. i have them pretty much everywhere else though. i've always loved my tattoos, and i want a lot more.

my boyfriend said if i go visit Korea with him one day, i'll be instantly judged because that's just how it is. i'll have to prove myself to hope to have a chance to be accepted by his family. i consider myself to be a likable person, so this does bother me that they wouldn't even give me a chance because of my appearance.

his sister also never thinks anyone is good enough for her brother, because from what i understand koreans just like rich and beautiful people. i say this based on what my boyfriend has told me. i'm afraid that my tattoos are going to make my life harder in the future, which is something i never thought before because i never intended to work anywhere that wouldn't allow tattoos. i didn't consider that my future potential family would judge me right away because of them.

i guess what im wondering is, what is the best way to navigate this situation? i have a couple years before meeting his family will even come into question. but i cant stop thinking about it. so should i cover my tattoos with makeup? that'll be a lot of makeup. should i just be myself and know they will accept me in time probably? is this something i should even worry about? any advice is appreciated on how to navigate korean/american relationship.

This is kind of a long one as it spans over a few years so bear with me please.

I 30F have a 3 year old daughter with my husband 37M (I’ll call him J)as well as a 14 year old son from a previous relationship. I have not had contact with my husband’s family since my daughter was 6 months old due to a fall out with MIL.
I have always felt disrespected by my husband’s family but I reached my limit around 6 months postpartum. When I got pregnant with my daughter it was very early in mine and my husband’s relationship. I had never met his mother or his family. When J told his mother I was pregnant she was very upset and wanted to keep it from the rest of his family until she came to terms with it. During my entire pregnancy she never made any effort to meet me or form any kind of relationship. I actually did not meet her or any other members of his family until the day of my baby shower. After that I did not see them again until the day I gave birth. After my daughter was born MIL insisted on us bringing the baby to her home (about 45 minutes away) less than 2 weeks after I had given birth. I agreed to make everyone else more comfortable. While at this visit I was pretty much treated like a surrogate who was only still around to feed the baby. When I had to pump I was heavily pressured by MIL to leave my baby with her while I went up stairs into a bedroom alone to pump. I did not feel comfortable with this as she was essentially a stranger to me. However my husband assured me he would stay in the same room as our daughter so I eventually agreed.

After that for the most part MIL was fine with the exception of a few disrespectful comments that I let go for the sake of peace. She would call me crazy and over protective because of rules I had for the baby. She would ask my husband “where did you find this one” but would try to pass it off as joke. She made comments about how it frustrated her that we didn’t visit more, even tho it was during the school year and my son also has hockey 4 nights a week. She knew that this all made it difficult to travel 45 minutes for a visit. She also knew that she was more than welcome to come to our home to see the baby but rarely did. Her passive aggressive comments were so blatant that my 14 year old son noticed.

At around 4 months postpartum we celebrated Christmas Eve at MIL home. This was when her attitude and disrespect became too much for me to ignore anymore. She refused to speak directly to me and would tell my husband or SIL to take the baby from me to bring to her. She loudly and in-front of everyone accused me of “taking her son from her.” She said things about my home that were out of context and came across as tho she was trying to embarrass me. Then she called my husband the next day to tell him she was angry with me for being lazy and making him do everything. This hurt but also had me dumbfounded. The only thing he did was install the car seat in the uber and carry all of our bags/presents to the car with the help of our son. I changed every diaper/outfit. Fed every bottle. Tried to help clean up after dinner. And I am the one who stayed in a bedroom for 2 hours alone with our daughter while she napped. My husband and I literally made the agreement that I would do majority of child care so he could spend time with his family and the next day while we were celebrating with my family he would take on most of the child care.

After that I told my husband I wasn’t going to put up with the disrespect from MIL anymore and that I was
done making the effort. Up to that point every visit with MIL was planned by me, every picture she received was sent by me and every phone call was initiated by me. From that point forward communication with his family was at his discretion. As I’m sure you can guess this became a problem because the frequent contact she was used to changed to about half that.

Then at around 6 months postpartum is when everything blew up. MIL called my husband and spent the hour long phone call absolutely ripping me to shreds. My husband allowed me to listen to the phone call without my MIL being aware. MIL told my husband that I baby trapped him and to be careful before I did it again, that myself and my family have no morals because we aren’t religious. She said I was using him for his money. We literally work the same job and make the same hourly. She told him I was an irresponsible mother who bought things for the kids they don’t need.(because I bought a mini crib not a full sized one) she claimed I’m irresponsible with money even though she has no way of knowing my spending habits.

Then the straight up lies started. She claimed that I called my husband a “cheapskate” and told her that her family weren’t good enough to be god parents to our daughter. My husband knew none of this was true as we’ve had conversations about these topics in the past. When J defended me she lost her mind.

After the phone call I sent MIL a message saying I didn’t appreciate the way she was speaking about me or the lies she was telling my husband. I asked her to stop trying to create conflict in my relationship and to think about how that could affect our kids. The message was not well received and she lost it on J for allowing me to hear the conversation they had. That told me all I needed to know. She didn’t see her behaviour as the problem but me finding out about it as the problem. After this I decided to take a step back from MIL and give everyone a chance to calm down.

MIL used this time to become full blown crazy. She showed up at J’s work to tell him he needed to leave me and the kids. She told her whole family J had cut her off and that I destroyed their relationship. She contacted J’s friends to try and isolate him even further. She would send J very manipulative messages about how no one will ever love him like a mother. She convinced his whole family to stop speaking to him till he “put me in my place.” J’S family didn’t even show up to our daughter’s first birthday. Instead they all jumped on a group chat to attack him. J was understandably hurt and confused by the way we were both being treated and made the decision to go no contact with his family.

Unfortunately about a year later his grandmother passed away very suddenly. This was unbelievably hard on my husband but also on my MIL. Due to this tragedy they started speaking again and have maintained a low contact relationship since. However his mother had never apologized for her actions or words and she still tried to manipulate and guilt trip him. I am supportive of J having a relationship with his mom as she is older and I don’t want him to have any regrets.

However I don’t intend to ever have a relationship with her or have her around my children. She created this situation and now has to live with the consequences. She spoke poorly about my son( I won’t repeat it) that is something that is 100% unforgivable to me. I am fiercely protective of my kids. She also was absent from my daughter life for 2.5 years because she couldn’t swallow her pride and apologize or have a conversation. As far as I am concerned she is a stranger to me and my kids and will remain so. I am happy my husband is able to maintain a relationship with her that has some boundaries set but me and the kids don’t need to be a part of that.

Recently my husband and I found out that we are expecting our third baby and are overjoyed. However my husband asked if he was able to make his mom see the hurt she caused and was apologetic if I would be willing to reconcile with her. Or if he could set up a meeting with her and I to try and find a resolution. I told him no. At this point I am no longer angry but hurt on behalf of my children and frustrated at her continued attempts to manipulate him. I also firmly believe that our existing children should have been enough to make her rethink and change her behaviour. He told me he understood and respected my choice but I know that his family not being in our children’s lives hurts him. J and my father are very close and he told my dad that he would really love for us to have a relationship with his mom if she was willing to change her behaviour and apologize. However he also told my father that he would never try to make me forgive the things MIL did and said if I wasn’t ready. I love my husband and feel awful knowing this is still causing him pain. I just am not at a place where I am willing to forgive. So AITAH for not being willing to even have a conversation with MIL.

My (29f) mom (56) was diagnosed with cirrohsis 2 and a half years ago. She had been a wine mom my whole childhood and had multiple DUI's. She had to spend time in jail and lose her license forever to get help and get sober. She thought she had beaten it but the damage was done. She has been deteriorating for months.

I got pregnant with my son just a month after her diagnoses. She thought treatment would work and shed have more time so we pretended it wasnt serious. She moved closer to me to be around my son. She hated living in the city im in and was stressed constantly. She didn't get good Healthcare either in comparison to her doctors where she was. More than anything she wanted to be with me and my children. I got pregnant again and now have an almost 2 year old and 5 month old. I have been too busy to notice the changes until recently.

She was hospitalized for 9 days and just got home last Friday. They referred her to hospice and she signed the paperwork Monday. I spoke with the nurse and he said in his opinion she will be gone in 2 weeks. He wants her to come to their hospice house so she can have her pain managed better. She doesn't want to leave home. She wanted a living wake so I'm planning one for Saturday with all of her friends.

I dont know how to feel. There's obviously so much context to our relationship I cant give in one post. I am in therapy and I do have a very supportive partner and his family helps quite a bit as well. Of course nothing takes away the pain of losing someone you wanted more time with.