r/TwoHotTakes

(LONG READ) We live in a family of 5, my parents are still married and there are 3 kids. My elder brother (30), and my sister and I (22). Our family is not perfect, and ever since I became a teenager, the common theme of all familial conflict stems from dishonesty.

Not any kind of dishonesty, but thievery of money within our home. When I was younger there has been many moments where my mother would question us kids when sums of money would “disappear “ in the house. It was always known that it was never my dad (he was the breadwinner), and it was never my mother (she was a stay at home mom with an allowance) or me. Simply because I spent most of my time in my room, and never at the scene of the crime.

My elder brother however, has a history of having sticky fingers. Once, he stole 2 500 from the kitchen counter which was meant to pay the maintenance staff but my dad had to find more money to replace what was took. However, my sister was always sneakier with the theft. But her amounts were small. This became a pattern in my family. Money disappears. Nobody fesses up. Then my father replaces the money.

But my dad retired just before covid from his day job, and during covid his business took a steady left turn. Money in the house began to hold heavier weight and every cent counted. But here is where my current dilemma comes in.

Recently (maybe 2 weeks ago) I went to my parents bathroom to borrow a hairbrush from my mother. To find their towel cabinet emptied on the floor with my dad looking at my mother as she frantically went through their safe and towels. I didn't even know we had a safe. Or why my father was still home at such an unusual hour. This is when they begin to tell me that the spare key for the cupboard is missing as well 10 000. A bunch of 200s in a blue envelope.

The whole thing was just gone. I was shocked. Simply because no amount of money of that magnitude has ever disappeared from the house. My dad then told me that the money was going to be used to pay his workers the next day and I begin to downspiral.

My siblings have been acting normal? Who could have taken the 10 000 so audatiously thinking they would not get caught at all? Once my father left to go to the bank once again for the replacement money, my mother then told me that the next day we will be searching everyones room to find the money.

We are a family of colour, and our culture is spiritual. My father went to consult to traditional healer about the matter, to which the traditional dealer disclosed that the “missing” key and money was still in the house but it was stolen by a child. The healer also said they were too fearful to flatly point out who the child is because they fear the child already has a suicidal ideation.

With the new information, my mother and I searched my sisters room first. We went through everything. Under her mattress, in her underwear drawer, between her textbooks. Everything. Until I reached for her coat, which she put in those zip up plastic bags. And inside the pocket I found it. The blue envelope with 200s. I immediately start counting the money as my mother stands next to me speechless.

From the 10 000 that my sister took, only 2 000 remained (I know I'm not using currencies but yeah). I was floored. My sister is like my best friend, if she is not at work she spends most of her time with me watching movies and talking about stupid things. I cannot believe she stole so much money, and just pretended like nothing happened. My mother asked me what to do and that's when I suggested that we get my sister arrested.

Because to my logic someone who can do that to their own family, can do it heartlessly to someone else, and also know or expect to do whatever they want because they know they will get away with it. I'm starting to see my sister completely differently and my mother has told me that getting her arrested will not fixed this.

Just last night mom told me that 700 got taken again from the safe, and that she is thinking of locking her bedroom every night for her piece of mind. I don't know how to handle this, has anyone ever experiences this before? I know I'm not the asshole but maybe I am, I just don't know which direction my family should take, and if my “irrational” input may break my family for good

P.S. We have yet to confront my sister or tell my dad about the money. Our family has hit a four-way stop and we have no idea where to turn

My mom wanted me to take the blame for a hit-and-run she committed when I was 17

I (23F) used to live with my mom (45f) until May of last year. For the most part, it's been just the two of us. My dad left after our RV (aka our home) burned down after he put heaters from walmart underneath the RV since our heat system was broken. He recovered from the burns, then left us.

Since then, it’s been me, my mom, and some questionable boyfriends. When I was 11, she married a truly awful guy. Racist, narcissistic, and mean. I lost friends because of how uncomfortable he made everybody. He eventually died from an overdose, and since then, my mom had been drinking heavily, though she refused to admit it. I've even picked her up from a DUI at 2:00am when I was 16 going on 17.

For my 16th birthday, she gave me a used 2013 Chevy Spark that I was beyond grateful for. I loved that car and took great care of it.

Then one night when I was 17 around 11:00 PM, there's a knock on the door. My mom was passed out drunk, so I decided to answer the door. It's two cops asking me if I own a white sedan. I tell them I drive one, but it's registered in my moms name. They ask to speak with her, so I go upstairs to her room and try waking her. She's incoherent and won't get up, so I tell the cops that. At this point I still have no idea what's going on.

The cops inform me the car was involved in a hit-and-run at a nearby McDonald's and ask where I was between 10:00-10:30. I tell them the truth. I was home, on facetime with my boyfriend. My mom finally comes downstairs and, slurring, asks me in front of the cops, "Did you take the car to McDonald's?"

She knows I didn't. She knows I was home. She knows I don't even like McDonald's.

But she keeps asking me over and over again. The cops begin pressing me, saying they have video evidence of someone who looks like me in the car at McDonald's around that time. That's when i started to sob. The female cop keeps interrogating me while my mom pretended she was clueless. Then the male cop asked me to sit in the driver's seat of the car. The seat is pushed all the way back. I am 5'3". My mom is 6'0". He immediately believes me and says there is no way I could have been driving that car.

They talk to my mom privately outside. I don't know what was said, but the cops eventually leave.

The next day, my mom was crying on the couch. She tells me the person who was hit is suing her for $50k. I asked her what really happened the night before. She claimed two strangers that she met that night stole the car and did the hit-and-run. I call BS. She gave no names of those strangers, never reported the car stolen, was asking me if I took the car the night before, and honestly, who the hell steals a car, gets in a minor accident then returns the car?

Later that day she was on the phone (police or insurance maybe), then mutes the call and asks me: "Can you just tell the people on the phone that you did it? You won't get in trouble because you're not a legal adult."

I was floored. I said no.

She got upset. Crying, angry, saying I'm making it harder on us and if I just took the blame, the person will drop the lawsuit and that nobody would get in trouble. I did (still do) feel awful for her as she was and still is in an awfully dark place. But I still think about this moment so often and how it affected me so greatly. I never told anyone about it and honestly needed to get this off my shoulders.

Reposting because I am pregnant now. I’ve been thinking of this incident and a lot of other things that happened to me growing up. I’m thinking of not letting my family be involved in my child’s life whatsoever, but not letting my mom is a very hard decision considering I do still love my mom and she still helps me out if I call her. I guess I need the reminder of what I’ve been put through.

I (25M) and my Wife (25F) at the time (about 4 years ago) had a good relationship with my sister (28F). We hung out a lot, but this is different.

My wife and I do not like when sick season comes around. During this point, it was definitely sick season. We had stayed inside for about 3 weeks, and only ever got out to pick up our Walmart grocery orders. My birthday came. We felt like maybe we'll be ok to go visit my parents for my birthday, they'll get to see our daughter who was about 7 months old. When we showed up, it was only my father there. My mom & Sister took her two kids for their monthly check up.

20 minutes later, they show up. Only after about 15 minutes of her two kids and our daughter playing, she finally says:

"Don't let them eat or drink after each other, or put the same toys in their mouths cause they have Hand Foot and Mouth".

To be clear, we do not ever let our daughter swap drinks or food with anyone.

We separated our daughter from the kids cause we got worried.

We left shortly after. 4 days later, our daughter started showing signs of being sick. Light coughing, nothing much. We planned a Dr. Appointment for her the next day.

The night before, I was scrolling through Facebook and had seen a post from my sister, her daughter was taking a breathing treatment.

(Her daughter has no breathing problems).

The post said:

"My poor babies are slowly getting over RSV".

Me and my wife got super worried so I texted my sister personally and asked when they were diagnosed. She was very petty about it.

what day? no straight answer. Did she know when the kids were playing together. No straight answer.

She led it on and argued & was very petty, & very disrespectful about the whole situation, until finally we stopped, and the next day, went to the appointment.

Over night, our daughter had developed worse symptoms and sure enough the test results came back positive for RSV.

From what we know, RSV is very dangerous for babies and young toddlers.

I have asthma and our daughter has been Hospitalized twice before hand for breathing problems caused by a simple cold.

She also has trouble breathing when performing actions that cause people with asthma to flare up.

The same day we found out, our daughter got even worse, so we had to rush her to children's hospital & she spent a week recovering.

Yes, we found out after more arguments that my sister had taken her kids to get tested for RSV that day & never told us until 4 days later. She said she wouldn't have taken the kids inside if they were sick but she literally let them near our daughter with their HFAM.

I told her, that she had seen our vehicle outside and could've went home instead of bringing them in & her excuse was:

"Mom asked us to come in".

I told her she could've politely declined & could've went home so noone got sick, but she clearly didn't care.

After the situation, we haven't had any contact with her or let her see our daughter.

Yes, we do blame her for our daughter contracting RSV.

Noone got sick, no signs of anything for weeks, only after being around my her and her kids that day.

My parents & siblings disagree, & arguments discussing the situation have occurred.

4 years and we still stay away from her.

We also would like her to apologize but she has declined.

Yes, that does sound petty of us, but we only want an apology for our daughter.

When she was admitted in the hospital, her oxygen hit 80, & was in a very bad state.

Thankfully the doctors and nurses did their best & were so helpful. Our daughter is doing great & we now take even more precautions when sick season comes around & overall.

AITAH?

Hi all,

I would greatly appreciate any and all advice.

I (F 24) just got engaged but we have been talking about getting married for the past few months so I’ve had lots of time to think about it already.

My parents split up when I was only a few months old and I visited dad every other weekend throughout primary school. He was a kinda shitty dad and despite me trying for our relationship it just never felt like he even wanted to be a parent in the first place. Even my half sister was not planned, he and my step mom are not married despite dating for 20+ years and I remember as a child I was already able to notice they seemed unhappy with each other. I always felt bad they decided to bring a kid in this unhappiness so I’ve felt protective over my 14 years younger sister and tried hard to plan day trips so I could spend time with her as well. Despite that I was never invited to family picnics and even my sisters’ birthday celebrations so I stopped trying for a few years.

Last time I saw my dad was 2 years ago. I just started college after two gap years between high school. In our country a parent is legally required to pay child support as long as a child is in school or 26 years old. He contested that, so the last time we saw each other was in a mediation with social services because he came there claiming to be broke (he has been hiding income and working illegally to evade taxes for as long as I can remember). I was only looking for like 100-200€ per month and offered to settle at 100€. He wouldn’t even give me that so I told him then and there we are going from low contact to no contact as he obviously doesn’t feel any parental obligation to me. He said fine and stormed off. Obviously there is more to cutting ties than just money but I am trying to keep it short. This was just the tipping point.

About a year ago my sister reached out to me, at just 9 years old. She found me on social media and told me she misses me so we talk sometimes.

My dilemma is - I would love to make her feel included in any and all parts of my life but I do NOT want him there. The whole reason I even decided for no contact was because I simply couldn’t imagine him walking me down the aisle or holding my baby once I have kids. This will not change so please give me more logistical advice on how to handle this.

My initial thought was to reach out to step mom but I don’t know how she will react (we were never close). Grandparents might not even wanna come, no contact with them as well. My fear is he’d tag along out of spite or take it as a personal insult and make a big deal out of it.

EDIT:

I have an unfortunate update if anyone is interested. My sister messaged me today expressing sadness that we haven’t seen each other in a while. I responded with a promise that we will hang out once she is old enough to hang out unaccompanied. Like one of the comments suggested I wrote a very short kid appropriate message only saying I unfortunately don’t have a good relationship with our dad, but I do want one with her and I’ll always try for it ❤️.
She then unpromptedly responded saying that her mom told her they don’t like me because I wanted to get a lot of money out of our dad (conveniently not telling her it’s my legally owed child support but okay 💀) and that her mom doesn’t want us hanging out.
It hurt a lot that someone else is “ruining” our relationship and that it’s completely out of my control but I decided to listen to the advice from comments and only wrote back that this is not entirely true but it’s nothing she should worry about as a kid and that I will explain when she is older :)

It hurts and I’m sad but at least I know where things stand. I decided to send a save the date via private message to step mom once we start planning despite that and try to involve her. If not I’ll send my sister a letter (still kid appropriate!! No trauma dumping, just nice bonding words) and some pics from the wedding.

Thanks to all comment, despite only getting a few you guys were very helpful :)

My (35F) Husband (35M) and I have been together over a decade. We have been through some horrible things together from suicide and death to sickness and children and hurt etc. I love this man so much but after one of the worst years of my life this man had an "emotional" affair with a coworker I stressed concern about, I use quotations because I don't believe it wasn't physical but he would never admit it. She used my shower, I scrubbed her filth off of my tub, tell me they didn't have sex...I digress. This whole issue caused him to get fired from his job.

She was a homeless addict who made my life hell, I couldn't sleep for months and when it was all fresh, the horrific things this man said to me were abusive at minimum. At the same time I found out about everything I found out I was pregnant with our second child so we decided to try to work it out contingent on zero contact with this woman. She kept coming around, threatening me, making my life hell. After a restraining order she stopped. It took him a year to apologize to me where I felt he actually meant it.

For the next year, dealing with pregnancy and recovery, he chose to not pay bills unbeknownst to me. I found out when it was almost too late to fix and had to step up and take care of his debt. I almost left then he started giving me all his paychecks to contribute to bills. Things seemed to be getting better. He started to resent me for this, always making money digs and controlling digs when we were only doing this because he decided he couldn't himself.

Fast forward to now, we decided to start counseling (I needed to know I would have zero regrets). Every issue I bring up in counseling got worse. I tried to communicate with him and he snapped about how I'm a child, can't take accountability, and think I'm perfect. I know I'm not perfect but I have been a loyal and loving wife, stuck by him through all of his downfalls. I don't understand. He will constantly get mad at me for things he does, but if I point it out I'm a child. Told me to grow up or divorce him. I decided on divorce as this mental abuse is so hard. But I am struggling. A third of my life with this man and I still love him. I'm trying to leave but don't know if I can. Am I overreacting for "giving up" on this marriage when I still love this man so much? Any insight would be so appreciated.

when we werent as serious, he let it slip that i wasnt his best nor craziest experience

it wasnt rude or anything but it was clear

now weve been together for a year

and it just kills me to know ill never be that for him

i asked him today if im still not on the 'scoreboard' (for lack of better term) and he said

'well, i love you, i love what we do, and i love how much you love me'

and then made a pouty face because i was 'comparing myself'

and im upset, and im kinda really turned off and i feel like im a turn off

it sucks, im not the hottest, im not the smartest and i cant even be the best sex, maybe ill just settle for best cook or baker or something

for reference he is the best ive ever had, and im at 3 people, hes in the double to low triple digits (and i know guys lie about this thing but ive seen for myself that its true)

So for some context my wife and i (both 29 yrs old) are both fairly religious Christians but she and her family take it more seriously than I do. Before we married we discussed that she wants a traditional marriage where she is SAHM. I would be fine with her working but I do believe a man should be a provider so this is fine with me too and that's what we've done. She said she didn't like modern men who do things like wear a baby sling or push a stroller and I was fine with that.

Our first child was born a bit over 4 yrs ago and then our second a little under 2 years later. When our kids were young I admittedly did not help with them very much. She had a lot of help from both her mom and mine, and I also was working long hours in these days. So I never changed a diaper, maybe fed them a couple of times. If I tried to step in she would generally wave me off and say I shouldn't worry about it so I didn't. Her mom actually lived with us until my youngest was about 6 months old and still visits fairly often. Her sister sometimes comes over to help too. So she definitely has her "village" so to say.

But now that the kidss are getting older and I'm working less, making more money, I honestly want to be involved more. But it's like she doesn't want me to do anything for them ever. She always brushes me off and says that's a woman's job, I shouldn't be doing that, and even that our kids shouldn't see a man picking up dirty laundry or making them snacks. I think that's weird, my parents have a traditional marriage but my dad still did stuff like that from time to time and I turned out fine. If she sees me playing with them she usually doesn't look happy and tries to distract them from it after a little while. This is getting really bothersome because those are my kids too. I would think most women would be happy their husband wants to do stuff like that.

It all kind of finally came to a final straw the other day when i had a day off work. I secretly turned off her alarm in the night so she could sleep in that morning. I woke up early, bought her some flowers and made the kids breakfast (there was some for her too when she woke up). I'm not gonna lie, we haven't had sex in awhile either and that was part of my thinking here. But I thought it would be a nice thing to do for her and a nice morning to spend with the kids and it was. I thought maybe we could all go to the park later since it was a nice day.

My wife ended up waking up around 7 AM (normally 5:30 or 6 for her) and came down to see what was going on. I could see that she was hiding her anger for the kids. She smiled and said isn't that a nice thing daddy did but the look she gave me was glaring. Then she said to my 4 year old son why don't you take your sister to watch tv. When they went to the next room she started whispering quietly at me like, what the hell were you thinking, why would you do something like that, why would you let me sleep in, do you think I'm a bad mother?

Honestly this kinda got my hackles up because I did nothing wrong here and I retorted, do you think I'm a bad father? Why do you never want me to do anything with the kids? She flat out denied it and said that is not true, she just doesn't want me overstepping in to take on women's work. It's setting a bad example and I'm acting woke (and all these other things). So I asked her what she DOES think it's okay for me to do for/with the kids and she kinda stopped for a second like she didn't really have an answer. Then she said it's a father's job to be a provider and disciplinarian.

I was like, that's it? You think I'm here to make a paycheck and yell at them if they do something bad? And she got upset and said NO it's just not my job to take over mother's roles and it makes me less of a man and her less of a woman.

At this point we were both starting to raise our voices and I looked into the next room and I was like can we please try to calm down, we don't need to scare the kids. Can you honestly explain to me why it's a problem for a father to make his kids breakfast and buy his wife flowers? But she just got more upset and said if I didn't understand then I'm not the man she married and I'm not godly.

Honestly I just gave up and went out and spent the rest of the day walking around the mall and doing some errands. I came home and the kids were in bed and she didn't speak to me and I slept in the guest bedroom. It's been a couple days now and we still haven't talked and frankly I don't even know what to say to here. The more I think about it the more upset I get. I keep trying to see it from her perspective and all I can think is maybe it wasn't right for me to change her alarm because she might have had things she wanted to do that morning but this is obviously much bigger than that.

AIO to this? Should I try to find some compromise with her or what?

Im not sure if this is the right sub to put this in. Im not even sure if I need advice or just really need to vent.

Ive been low contact with my (37f) family for a few years now. My bf really showed me how low they treated me when I was forced to move back in with them after I had children. They basically acted like us being there was the worst thing that could have ever happened to them.

I was paying $800 in rent. Plus $200 per child every week for my mom to watch them while I was at work. Plus all the groceries for everyone in the house. And constantly looked down on for "not saving any money to move out." I made $15 an hour.... with little to no support from my kids father's.

Fast forward. My dad passed in 2019. Without him there to bully us my mother has had to learn the hard way we aren't going to just cave into whatever she wants. Our lives dont revolve around her. And shes taking it hard. Recently she, my brother, SIL, and their 3 kids moved a lot closer to me.

This weekend is my nephews birthday. At the last second they put out a message "We're just gonna have cake here at 2."

My schedule recently changed and i will be at work. Bc its summer my children are with their fathers this week/weekend. I told them we couldnt make it bc of these things. If it had been a scheduled party I could have requested off, and made sure I had the kids for it. But it wasnt. It was a last minute thing she notified everyone of on Wednesday.

Im sitting at work today when my ex texts me asking about a party....

My mother went behind my back and tried to make plans with my 12 year old to try to have her guilt us into going. My 12 year old tends to just make plans without confirming with adults. So in my moms mind I feel like she thinks if the kids insist I'll just give in and figure it out.

She doesnt have a car to pick up the kids, so her whole plan would have been determined on us feeling bad and taking them so as not to disappoint them.

Would I be the AH to block my mom from my children's phone? They love to talk to her but her blatantly disrespect for anything I say is REALLY irking me. This isnt the first time shes done it either.

This is at least the 4th time shes tried this. And it hasn't ever worked the previous times so I dont understand why she keeps thinking it's okay to do.

I've never written a post like this and im also awful at keeping things in order so bear with me here lol.

I'm 27(NB) and ive been dating my partner (33m, fake name Jeff) for 7 years now.

I had a friend who i met when I was 9 and she was 11 and we stayed friends no matter how many times I moved around and such.

Anyways, she lives about 4 hours from me and asked me if I'd like to go camping with her and her boyfriend of 8 years.

I said yeah sure I'd love to and she said for Jeff to come along too!

I was all excited and we got to planning it and all that jazz.

About 3 days before we were meant to go (the weekend before the 4th of July was when we planned on going) she told me her BROTHER (I didnt even know she had a brother honestly. Never met him. Never heard about him. And we pretty much grew up together) was gonna tag along too and I was like okay cool sounds good the more the merrier.

Well, the next day, she texted me again saying how her brother was uncomfortable with Jeff going because he had never met him before and she thinks I should just come and not bring Jeff with me and that her bf (who i had only met 2 times, and he also met Jeff 2 times) suddenly wasnt cool with Jeff coming either???

Then she started saying how her brother is single and hes a good guy. Then wanted to change the campsite to an even more remote area and i just got really uncomfortable??? I felt like they were trying to set me up with the brother or that I was gonna get SA. (Having been SA in the past it was just making me feel uneasy)

So I canceled entirely and just told her upfront that I wasnt comfortable going by myself and would prefer Jeff to come along with me. She got super mad and said I didnt trust her and that I was ruining their weekend plans and I should just come anyways itll be fun and my gut just told me absolutely not.

But then she proceeded to block me everywhere and hasn't spoken to me at all.

Did I read too deep into the situation and freak out over nothing or??? I just dunno. It all felt so weird to me and still feels weird lol.

*edit: thank you all so far for the reassurance that listening to my gut was the right idea. I appreciate all who read it and helped ease my brain🖤

(wlw)

i already know i’m going to get judged for this, and i understand why.
my partner is away working at a summer camp this week. earlier today i got on my laptop to use chatgpt, and i realized her account was still logged in from the last time she used it. while i was on the home screen, i typed in the search bar and navigated to chat gpt. still thinking i was on my account. one of the conversation titles caught my eye: “partner struggles.” i quickly realized this wasn’t my account.
i wish i could say i clicked away, but i didn’t. i opened it, and then i kept reading. i know that was wrong.
what i found has completely wrecked me. she was asking chatgpt about feeling like she’d lost herself in our relationship, feeling too dependent on me, opening our relationship(which she knows how i feel about this), wondering what life would be like if we weren’t together, and thinking about someone from her past. at one point, chatgpt asked her to imagine two futures, and she chose the one where we weren’t together romantically because it felt healthier to her.
reading this made it feel like she’s been questioning our relationship for much longer than i realized.
we moved three hours away to build a better life together in a new city. started new jobs here. i genuinely believed we were working toward a future together. now i feel completely numb.
the worst part is that she has no idea i read any of this. she’s still at camp for several more days, and i’m sitting here trying to act normal while feeling like my entire relationship has been pulled out from under me.
i don’t know if i should tell her i saw it, wait until she’s home, or just have a general conversation about where we both stand without admitting how i know. i don’t want to ruin her week at camp, but i’m barely functioning. i’m even thinking about taking a few days off work because i can’t get my head together.
i’m not looking for people to tell me i was right to read it. i know i crossed a line. i’m just genuinely asking: if you were in my position, what would you do? and if you were in hers, would you want your partner to tell you they saw it, or would that destroy the trust even more?

I’ve (f/20) never watched „never have I ever“ because I couldn’t understand how Devi can like 2 men and date them w/o them knowing of the other person.
I thought it was absurd and she was a bad person! ( idk the circumstances tho since I have not watched it)

Well…2 weeks ago I started texting a guy (lets call him Ben/22) my friend introduced me to (he lives further away so we only text). He‘s really smart and a committed guy with whom I can talk on the phone for several hours without being exhausted at the end of it. I dont want to lose hin because he is some one I could see myself in a serious relationship with and how often does that happen? But I’m also not sure I want to be in a serious relationship

1 week ago I coincidently met my failed hinge date (lets call him Paxton/21) who prior to this ignored my messages for 1,5 months. He is a bit of an AH because he told me he doesn’t want a serious relationship nor a f buddy and on the second ‚date‘ as ‚friends’ we got intimate and theeen he didn’t text me.
He explained that he didn’t want to hurt my feeling by continuing to go on dates as his brain cant comprehend that me being emotionally sensitive doesn’t mean I will fall in love with him and somehow he didn’t understand that telling me his thoughts hurts less than not saying anything.

Other then his missing comprehensions skills, he’s a good guy. We would be just good friends but unfortunately the sexual tension between us is too big.
Basically, we settled on being friends with benefits (we haven’t had sex yet) but he also told me to keep my mind open for Ben since he seems like a good guy for me.
Paxton can be considerate as a friend! He’s attracted to me but wants the best for me as a friend.

I like them both and have no idea what to do because I don‘t want to two time.
The thing I tell myself to make me feel better is that I’m not actually dating Ben although there is potential for a romantic relationship.

A proper guy with a bright future who lives further away vs. a guy I‘m irrationally attracted to and is available to ‚use‘ iykwim most of the time since we live close to each other.
I’m attracted to literal opposites and can’t tell my friends because they hate Paxton so I lied by saying I have no contact with him but I need to get this off my chest and there is no better place than reddit to do so.

I’m a virgin who never been in a relationship btw. I wasn’t popular in school so I think I also like to feel desired by 2 men and I know that is absurd and I’m a bad person…

Love the podcast btw
Sorry for any mistakes I‘m not a native English speaker

A little bit of context so at the time I probably just turned 18 and because difficult family situation I did not have my license and we had just moved because her parents kicked us out because unrelated issue and we were fighting neither of us remember what the fight originally was about, but she was yelling and screaming at me and I was just walking away from her. She was throwing cans at me and I was just trying to get away from her and at one point, I walked into the bathroom and she just followed me and I couldn’t get out and we had solid wood walls so I could just punch one as hard as I could because I was just getting so frustrated because this was going on for like 30 minutes or I was just asking her to give me a second. I know my response probably wasn’t the most appropriate but I saw I’m curious am I the asshole in this situation?

A few years ago, I was diagnosed with a terminal illness and I probably only have a year or so left. My son (32M) has been my caretaker these past two years, my daughter (34F) meanwhile is married with 2 kids and lives in a different state. She occasionally visits me once or twice a year.

Normally I would have done it 50-50 for my son and daughter, but my son really has gone above and beyond these past two years, so I’ve been thinking of leaving him about 95% and then leaving 5% to my daughter.

I just think my daughter is set in her life, she’s married and has kids. She might feel hard done by the amount I leave her, but she wasn’t there for me these past couple of years. I don’t blame her for not being there because she has her own life. 5% still leaves her $100k, which isn’t nothing.

My son meanwhile, he’s been unlucky in his romantic life, he’s been cheated on by his ex fiancée, but despite that, he’s still willing shifted jobs to be near me and be my caretaker. I never got the sense that he was angling for the inheritance, he’s never once asked me about it.

I’ve also always felt closer to my son ever since my ex wife cheated on me decades ago. While my daughter was neutral and even had a great relationship with her stepdad who was her mom’s affair partner, my son was the one who was always by my side during that time.

Am I wrong in what I’m doing?

My wife and I got married a couple decades ago. We’re in our 40s now and our 2 kids are both in college. 9 years ago, my wife asked for an open relationship because we had been in a dead bedroom for a couple of years. I was going through a tough time mentally. I was shocked she asked for it but couldn’t really blame her for it so I said sure. My wife opened the relationship for almost 2 years, and then closed the relationship when I got back to normal and when we were no longer in a dead bedroom situation.

It’s been 9 years since, and mentally and physically I’m in the best shape I’ve ever been in my life. However, one thing that still bothers me is that open relationship, I understand we were in a dead bedroom and she had to get her needs met, but we were married and I was just going through a low phase. When my wife was pregnant and suffered from PPD, we did not have sex for 2 years, but that was the last thing on my mind and I never thought about opening the relationship.

Lately, I’ve been feeling sexually frustrated and was open with my wife about it. My wife was shocked when I said it and is willing to try anything I want and also have sex a lot more times if I want, we already have sex once a day. I told my wife it’s not about her but that I want to explore around and have my open phase with different women. Admittedly over the past couple of years, I have been getting the most attention I have ever gotten in my life, and a lot of people surprisingly rock with the grey in my beard. I am going on a business trip next month, and in all likelihood something is going to happen on the trip with one of my coworkers I’m close with.

My wife admitted this is by far the most attractive I’ve ever been in my life and it isn’t surprising that I’m getting attention. But she broke down in tears and asked if there’s any way she could satisfy my needs, and that she’d do anything I wanted. I told my wife it isn’t fair she got to have her open phase and I didn’t. I told my wife I need to get this out of my system, and I wouldn’t have felt like this if she had not opened the relationship 9 years ago. I told my wife she doesn’t excite me at all anymore and I’m just not stimulated enough, and I want a fun and wild phase now.

Am I wrong for wanting an open relationship?

This is my first time writing this, so I don't know how it will turn out.

It all started at school when I was 16 and he was the same age. We were classmates. When the school year started, he always showed all kinds of signs, for example: he looked at me longer than usual, secondly, we were a couple when I had to do a presentation in English, this was the teacher's choice, also he always viewed my profile on TikTok and etc... All these signs and many others, one day I decided to write to him and I wrote: "I like you." It was very uncomfortable to write because this was the first person I had ever fallen in love with and I felt a great closeness to him. And he wrote to me: "I have a girlfriend 😀" I was so devastated I didn't even want to go to school or even go back to class, but I didn't even know he had a girlfriend, so AITA?

I 32F have been married to my 32M husband for 6 years. We have two kids, 3F and 1M. He reconnected with an old friend from college around 3 years ago, we will call him Aaron.

This friend asked him to be his best man in his wedding this fall. He has brothers, but not a good relationship.

For context, I am an elementary teacher and accepted a position in a new district, in a totally different role. Our 3 year old will also be starting preschool in August.

Anyway- my husband told Aaron to schedule a bachelor party whenever and he will make it work. Because my husband have no input, it was scheduled during my first day in my new job, our daughters preschool orientation, and her first day of preschool.

He said he takes his duties as a best man seriously and he is not missing. I told him if was unsupportive and disrespectful to his daughter and I. He said I don’t understand that my input is to suggest them scheduling around us whereas I felt he could share that was the one stretch of 4 days that he would be unable to attend.

He told me his parents would help with our daughter. AITAH for feeling like this is showing how important he takes parenting and showing up for us?

So I'll just start out by saying I've never done with so sorry for any errors.

My boyfriend left. It's the 4th of July. My boyfriend came over to hangout for the day with my kids and I. We spent the day school clothes shopping for my oldest. We made plans to go over to my sister's cousin house at five and stay and do fireworks ( we're in tx so the sun doesn't set till 9 ) I figured we'd stay for an hour or two doing fireworks and then head home and maybe he would stay the night since it'd be so late. He lives 30 ish minutes away.

While we were laying down taking a nap in-between shopping and going to do fireworks he drops that when he gets back he's going to go hangout with his friend who lives 45 minutes away. Basically he wants to go drink and hangout with his friend. It wouldn't be a problem but we hardly ever get to see each other. Maybe once a week.

I have already told him I miss him and I've wanted him to stay. He said he'll just see his friend later and I told him no. I'd rather him go.

I've expressed to him that my life isn't as "exciting" as his. I've been a single co-parenting mom for about 2 years now and I recently just got a new job so I don't really go out much. Not that I wouldn't love to on my down time but I'm just genuinely broke. My kids needs come before my want "to go have fun". I'd rather spend my time out with them anyway.

Fast forward we go to my sister's cousins house. We are having a good time kids are playing. We're outside it's hot af. I have one beer over a soild period of time then I eat and have one more beer after food. When I tell y'all I felt sick I felt sick. My upper torso was hurting like it was in a knot. I went in the house and threw up. Come out told him I was ready to go and we got everything together and left.

When we pulled up I ran inside and threw up again. He got the kids out of the truck put on a movie for them brought me a water and told me he was going to head home.

This is where my feelings really get hurt. We've known each other for 9 years. We never started dating till about 6 months ago and I've honestly never been happier.. but lately I get the feeling that he feels obligated to spend time with me. We have talked about marriage in the future and when I think about my future husband I don't want a man whose going to leave maybe 5 minutes after I've gotten done throwing up my insides.

I guess what I'm asking is how do I address this with him? He knows I'm upset but he doesn't even know why. Am I being dramatic? I'll answer questions for more context.

Edit' I should have been more clear. I told him to go ahead and go to his friends before the fireworks at my sister's cousins house .. because I knew we'd be getting back so late and I would rather him be safe and not drive at night (holiday with people drinking and all) When I told him to go that was an internally different conversation in between shopping and hanging out with family. I didn't tell him to leave when we got home and I was sick.

Got home from work today and told my bf I was gonna take a quick shower. As soon as I put shampoo in my hair he comes in and is like “I’m so sorry but you have to leave right now, I gotta GO”

I respond “Dude, no. I’ll just close the shower curtain and you can go”

To which he responds “Are you serious?!? You gotta get out!”

To which I’m like “dude are YOU seriously asking me to get out of the shower right now?”

Background: we’ve lived together for 2+ years, are pretty comf with each other but definitely not to the point of pooping in front of each other. He has IBS so when he’s gotta go he’s gotta go. We also live in a cold ass place that is heated with a wood stove and I hadn’t gotten the fire going yet so was just standing freezing and dripping and shampoo haired outside the bathroom waiting for him to shit. This is obviously not THAT big of a deal but like….am I crazy thinking that it’s a wild ask to make ur partner leave mid shower so you can take a dump?