Am I TAH for stepping down from a wedding?
This girl and I have been friends for ~17 years. Every time for the past year that we've spent time together something I say offends her so brutally that she cries the next day on the phone to me or cops an attitude through text a week later. It was all things i brought up from the past that I never knew made her uncomfortable and she decided suddenly make her uncomfortable.
These texts are from March.
In May we had her bachelorette party where she was pissed I drank a couple drinks ( had her Bach at a casino and also was drinking) and basically she played the "my dad was an alcoholic I'm traumatized " card. Which I'd never say but I've gotten fucked up in more ways than one with this girl and to decide at 32 you're suddenly traumatized by your dad being an alcoholic is BS.
She also had her dog put down for behavioral issues, which I 100% understand. Apparently I'm a pos for gasping when I was told this and that was very unsupportive of me. Mind you I gasped and then said "omg why I'm so sorry that's awful"
So THT am I an asshole for stepping out of the wedding of my best friend over her behavior for the past year?
EDIT: Adding in a bit more context:
I definitely was buzzed at the Bach don't get me wrong. I had one drink at dinner (4pm) 3 drinks during the comedy show (6-8pm) and 3 drinks gambling in the casino (8-1030pm). She told me that her other friend and I turned it into a "mom's night out" instead of her Bach. I literally didn't even talk about my kids until we were back at the hotel. She shushed us numerous times and scolded us for laughing too loudly during the comedy show.
Over the past year we'd seen each other in person a few times. One time warranted a phone call the next day for bringing up a beach trip with two other girls where we all got wasted (she did get sexually assaulted so I could see why she wouldn't want to ever talk about it though) in 2016. Over ten years she'd never told me it bothered her when I brought it up but the next day it apparently warranted a phone call where she was sobbing begging me to never bring it up again.
***Edit: I brought this up while talking about a friend who was on the beach trip that had passed away from an overdose. My wording was like
"remember when she got us that hotel room at the beach so nobody one would have to drive? Wow I really miss her"
A time before that I'd brought up a story from when we lived together about a Christmas party we had. We'd lived there with our boyfriends and I think all I'd said was I wish we'd lived there without them so we could've had a pink Christmas tree and decorated our apartment the way we wanted. She texted me paragraphs the next day saying not to bring up any times she was dating someone around her fiance because it makes him very uncomfortable.