u/emilydismay

Hi everyone, hoping for some advice :)

My partner (26M) and I (24F) just got engaged! We're lucky enough that my fiancé inherited a significant sum of money, so we're able to pay for our dream wedding outright. We're aiming for the end of 2027, which means things are moving fast on the planning front.

I'm so excited to ask my girls to be my bridesmaids. Here's the current lineup:

1–3. My cousins, who are also my best friends and have been since we were kids
4. A friend of 20 years
5. A friend of 10 years
6. A newer friend, but currently my closest one — we see each other daily, met through work, and she's honestly one of the loveliest people I know

There won't be a maid of honor; the girls will just be splitting the MOH duties between them. My fiancé has exactly six groomsmen too, since it's a lifelong friend group who've all stood up in each other's weddings, so six felt like the natural number to match on both sides.

Here's where it gets complicated: I have a sister.

She's my younger sibling, and we've never been especially close. She tends to make things about herself, moved interstate two years ago, and hasn't really made an effort to stay in touch beyond the odd text. I know that if I don't ask her to be a bridesmaid, she'll make it about her — but I also know the decision won't go down quietly. She'll likely hold a grudge, and my mum will be heartbroken not to see her up there with the others.

To make things trickier, my sister recently came out as a lesbian and has accused our family of being bigoted (she has a long history of casting herself as the victim). I already know that if she's left out of the bridal party, she'll frame it as me being unsupportive of her sexuality — even though that has nothing to do with my decision.

I've made peace with it: I want her at the wedding, just not as a bridesmaid. What I'm struggling with is how to tell her in a way that causes the least amount of fallout. I don't want my cousins to feel like they were chosen "over" my own sister, and honestly, my current group of six has such a lovely dynamic — I know her presence would throw that off completely, given the drama she tends to bring.

How would you approach breaking this to her? Any advice is so appreciated <3

EDIT: My family is absolutely not bigoted in anyway - I have an older trans sibling that is the favourite hahaha, the younger one has historically had a victim mentality long before she came out

Hi everyone,

This is my first ever post, so please be kind 😅

I (24f) am looking for some practical advice on how to start building self-love and body positivity.

At the start of December, my long-term partner surprised me with an engagement ring workshop where we designed our dream rings together. Since then, he’s been talking more and more about proposing and how excited he is to see me walk down the aisle one day.

I love this man more than anything, and logically I know my appearance shouldn’t be my biggest focus when it comes to our wedding. But this whole next chapter has made me realise just how deep my self-esteem and body image issues actually run.

For context, I lost around 30kg using Mounjaro about two years ago. Since then, I’ve gained back around 10kg, and a mix of recent family trauma and starting EMDR therapy has caused me to fall back into binge eating behaviours that I thought I had healed from.

I’ve spent most of my life trapped in a binge/restrict cycle, and I’m exhausted by how much I hate my body. Instead of feeling excited about getting engaged in the next few months, I keep obsessing over not wanting to “look fat.”

I don’t want to spend my engagement, wedding, or the rest of my life at war with myself anymore. I know I’m the only person who can start repairing this relationship. I want to start working out to be strong rather than be smaller, but I feel like I need to treat the root cause of my body issues before I fall back into the over-exercising and under-eating cycle.

I was wondering if anyone here has been through something similar and managed to come out the other side. What actually helped you? I’d really love specific suggestions as opposed to the typical self-help advice to gratitude journal and say affirmations in the mirror. I’ve had one friend suggest sleeping naked to get used to seeing my naked body more and therefore become more neutral towards it which was quite interesting and has previously helped - so welcome any and all unconventional ones!

Thank you 🤍