r/GayMen

My BF (46) and I (27) haven't had regular sex in years. I have lost over 100 pounds trying to get our sex life back. He swears its because he just doesn't have a drive. Ive found cum rags left discarded throughout the house. I feel like its my fault, like im not enough. He has told me several times that he's going to talk to his Dr about his drive for 2 years now. He hasn't set up an appointment yet. I've tried to dress up, tried being fully nude all day, and tried everything at this point. He just laughs it off sometimes he just straight ignores my advances. Im constantly horny and I have no release now. Porn makes me depressed. I have a whole ass human who sleeps next to me every night and refuses to have sex with me. I get the usual excuses im tired, I have a headache, its too cold, I ate to much, my stomach hurts. Every night its another excuse. Im Lucky if I have sex twice a month now and I feel like he only does that because he doesn't want me to feel depressed and I feel bad because what if he really just doesn't find me attractive anymore and just doesn't want to tell me.

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HUNG Bottoms ONLY 

I'm curious, when did the preference for HUNG Bottoms became a thing ?

As a top, it has never crossed my mind, whether the bottoms I hook up with are hung or not. Frankly, at no point am I ever even thinking about his penis, before, during or after our encounter. 

The majority bottoms I've been with doesn't want their penis to be touched during sex and a few others would ask if I can jerk them while being penetrated from behind.

On apps I'm seeing so many other tops exclusively wanting hung bottoms for hookups. I know oral tops are out there, but if a bottom is not 8+ you're not interested in the guy ?

I've had so many bottoms sending me dicckk pics before their ass and when I ask, it's usually, "just letting you know I'm hung" I'm like huh ?  Why ? Why would I care if you're hung or not or even have a penis?

Then there's the bottom with user name like "Hung Bottoms" or " 9" Bottom", which baffles me, becUse if you're not using that 9" to top, what's the relevance of this information ?

I've met other bottoms that felt a sigh of relief, not having to confirm they're hung before a hook up or having to see cokck pics etc. Bottoms are already under scrutiny for perfection, is this a new one to the list ?

• seekeing a little older man

I have followed an influencer from Australia called Nathan Mccallum (@nathan) for many years. That was until I realised what a narcissistic and manipulative platform he has created for himself and this has been exacerbated since he’s had a child with his wife.

His following is majority gay males and he posts frequent thirst traps with and without his little baby. He advertises his tiny swim underpants to his followers by standing under a shower with his bulge on full display. He barely posts his wife. He’s constantly complaining about his lack of engagement and blaming it on the algorithm. Why are we supporting people like this who are happy to profit off our lifestyle yet show no support to our community public-ally?

I saw him recently do an interview saying some nonsense about how he is privileged to have a platform and uses it to speak up for minorities however I have not seen him post ANYTHING in support of the LGBTQI community, never seen him donate to a charity. He poses in his underwear with other male influencers and is clearly closeted but i just think it’s messed up that gays pay for his lifestyle yet if a followed makes a suggestive comment on his thirst traps or asks if he’s gay….. he snaps and gets super offended. He just seems like such a narcissist and i wish people would see through people like this. He has been caught lying about his height and it super reactive and mean to followers on occasion that point out the obvious.

I also saw that his sister had bowel cancer…..he didn’t even post anything to support her or her go fund me??? Is that not the most narcissistic behaviour you’ve ever seen.

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Hey bros,

I’m a 14m and I just realized I’m gay a few months ago. I have pretty traditional Asian parents who are very religious and super conservative. Like, they talk about how being gay is a sin or “Western degeneracy” sometimes, and they expect me to get married to a girl one day and continue the family line. The thought of them finding out terrifies me. I feel like I’m completely cooked if I ever come out.

I’m not even thinking about telling them anytime soon. I just want to survive high school and get out of the house first. But the anxiety is getting to me. How did y’all in similar situations (Asian + religious/conservative family) handle this? Did you wait until you moved out for college? Did you ever come out to them? How did they react? Any tips for dealing with the guilt and fear while still living at home?

Thanks for reading, I really appreciate any advice. This place has been a huge help just knowing I’m not alone.

So this good looking guy chatted me up on sniffies. Said he was with a friend. Both tops looking to rail a 3rd. He said he’s with his friend. His friend is much less goodlooking but huge d. both are talking to me and they want to come over.

So they said they want to stagger it. First the one less goodlooking friend and then the other likes being a second. The less goodlooking one also says he’ll pay which i wasn’t even asking for.

So the first guy comes up. Hour passes and we hookup. Then he heads down asking “still ok with my friend?” I guess the friend is visiting from Miami and he “flew him up”.

Anyway the 2nd one never shows lol

Is this some weird bate and switch where the less attractive one uses 2 accounts to get better looking guys/hit out of his league?

It was super weird in retrospect.

I (19M) am primarily attracted to weird geeky looking guys with glasses.

Every time I've come into contact with one they've been interested in me back; but the situation always results in them dipping on me. I rarely find them out in the wild; only by chance.

There's nothing i want more than a little nerdy guy with glasses to be mutually into me as i am to him. Where do i need to go to find these beautiful creatures, i'm actively having withdraws. I'm in the Midwest if that helps any.

I need an obedient nerd to love on, BAD!!!

So I'm sincerely curious. I don't think theres anyone that enjoys a cock in me (either hole) more than I do. And mine in another feels incredible. That said the hugging, kissing, romance side of it gets me soft just thinking about it. I know some others must feel the same. What gives?

I stopped watching porn a couple weeks ago but there are still some pictures/videos that pop up when I scroll my gallery to find something. I feel so so bad when I see it and that's the reason I stopped watching it. I never had a boyfriend and I don't know if I will so it hits me every time like a hammer, makes me very insecure, jealous and almost suicidal, while I know other guys, who are single too, enjoy it. How do I fix this? thank you

Me as a bottom can't find any good looking top Man for relationship? There are to many bottoms

It sucks. Yeah yeah I know it should be like any other rejection blah blah blah but it does suck when they're extremely hot.

I feel self conscious in ways I've never felt before.

Throwaway account btw. I've had plenty of fun with girls but recently started to accept that I think I really like guys more. I just had my first time with a guy and i think I did really bad. We talked once on grindr like a month ago and nothing happened but then he started hitting me up everyday for the past 4 days until today I was finally free to do something. I picked him up, found a spot to park and he started giving the best head I've ever had. I really wanted to fuck him but I just went soft when i tried. It ended with him sucking me again and I immediately got hard again and he swallowed. I did enjoy it but I'm embarrassed and don't know if i should text him again or not.

I barely use Grindr but today I was bored and downloaded it again and some guy offered me 270$ to come to his house to chill, drink/smoke and see if it’ll lead to anything more. Is this normal or am I gonna be sold on the black market? I’m 18 y.o btw

Edit: it’s not one of those bots that redirect u to telegram, we had a human conversation and he said he just likes to spoil twinks

Edit 2: I’ve now been offered similar things(pay4play) from another 10 different guys. I’m deleting this fuckass app this isn’t even entertaining anymore smh

I am not very physically or emotionally comfortable around many people, and really like my space. I am great at setting hard boundaries and I love doing it. But, this means that I am so pent up. I haven't been with anyone is two years and I want to try Grindr. That said, when coming close to potentially meeting someone, I become so physically anxious that it feels like my body freezes up and my chest tightens, and the feeling worsens until I have to cancel it all and turn him down.

I have been in a relationship with one person before and I felt the same feeling in the first week of dating him. It eventually mellowed out to complete comfortability and adoration before it ended, but I had to get through that hurdle first.

Does anyone else struggle with this? In my head, hooking up sounds great but I almost have to force myself to actually do it and I don't know why. Anyone else have issues with physical intimacy? It does not stem from any homophobia.

All my life I've felt ugly. People treat me like I'm a monster. I've been bullied for being black dark skin, fat , just made to feel like a monster. It's if I'm not being bullied and ridiculed , then I'm being ignored. Now I'm on line it's weird. It's like I thought If I posted pictures of myself on here people will call me ugly. But I was surprised that I was being fetishized. It's like it felt good at first because I've always hated myself but now it's not ok anymore. Like I would get dms about how much people love my black skin , my dark skin and body, but eventually it become not ok. Constantly getting racially centered dms about raceplay, BNWO , BBC, just gets to me after awhile. I've lost about 50 pounds, and while the attention from people who liked bigger guys was nice at first, after awhile I got tired constantly getting seen just for it. Honestly sometimes I think to my "why can't I just be the cute guy at the office"?. Like sometimes I think about how would be like to just be a normal person who might be attractive. Like in a conventional way, someone who basically everyone's type. It's like it's hard always being reminded of the polarizing affect I have on people. It's like the virgin whore Madonna complex. It's like I'm either the monster or I'm a sex deviation.

morning guys... I got head from a bottom, does this make me gay?

For context, I'm transmasc with a pretty flux style. I've literally fantasized about being born a boy since I was in kindergarten, which may sound insane but it's true. I can't help but feel sad knowing I'll never have the token gay boy/man experience in my life (idk how else to explain). I'm not cis and I hate it more every day. A good percentage of the community wouldn't be attracted to me/want a relationship, some that DO are chasers (no thanks). I just feel sad and a little hopeless. I wish I'd been born a boy.

Thanks for listening to my rant lovelies

Recently I’ve been seeing someone who wants to bottom really bad however they’re really tight and can’t seem to relax when trying to warm up with fingers… They insist that they want to try it because they love having their ass played with but any time we’ve tried they can’t relax…

I’m not someone who uses poppers on a regular but I remember my first time bottoming it hurt and the guy offered me poppers… I didn’t even know what they were and he just told me to sniff and then he pushed in. It hurt for a second and then it was such a fucking amazing experience. I only used them with that guy the three times we hooked up and then I’ve only bottomed for two other guys but didn’t need them..

I’m asking if I should introduce the idea of them to him. He claims to be “straight” and says I’m the only guy he’s ever been with so I’m sure he has no idea what they are but I was wondering if I should bring them up to see if he would want to try…

Problem is I’m worried he’s going to think I’m offering him drugs or something like that and be turned off by the idea.. I know they’re considered a danger as well so I don’t want to risk that but surely a one time occasion would be fine right?

Do you think I should offer that and if so how? Also if not is there any other way for me to get him to relax and make it comfortable for him. My biggest fear is hurting him while trying and then him being completely turned off by me because of the bad experience…