[M20] My boyfriend (M22) of almost 2 years just broke up with me
It happened almost instantly. We are long-distance, and on our nightly ft call, he seemed off. I asked him what was wrong and we began talking about our relationship. One thing leads to the next, and he confirms that he wants to end our relationship. I agreed on the spot even though everything inside me was screaming for me to fight. “Save your relationship”, “Plead”, “Tell him how much you love him.” The last thing I wanted to do was make him even more uncomfortable or seem delusional. We became official in late 2024, and have been seeing each other one trip (2-4 days) each month. We were both in different colleges until he graduated and moved further away for work in September 2025. I believe it was here when our relationship started to decline. He admitted that the extra, extra distance had some factor in the break up, but not a lot. His job also exacerbated his depression. I honestly thought our lack of intimacy was due that and not “us falling out”. The truth is that he struggled with intimacy his entire teenage and adult life. The break up to my understanding was nothing I did wrong, rather his internal battle with intimacy. I wasn’t perfect either. In the first 2 months of our relationship I lied about myself in order to be a people pleaser. I stupidly said my cousin was actually my sister to make it seem like our family structures were similar, and once hid him from my instagram close friends to post a story I thought he’d find cringy. I also claimed to have once visited his college campus before we met to appease him, and make myself seem like I was familiar about the area he lived in. These are all the lies I’ve told him. I don’t think they were malicious, but were harmful nonetheless. He forgave me for them and we moved on. I think this road bump and lack of trust in the start of our relationship contributed a small factor as well in our break up. Again, inability to feel intimacy towards anyone was the real issue.
I am struggling to cope and can’t stop thinking about him. We planned a ft call tonight where we will reflect, and close our relationship for good. What do I say? Do ask him to stay a bit longer? Should I see him one last time in the following weeks? What can I do to make the healing process easier? Anything helps.