r/WhatShouldIDo

Hi everyone :) unfortunately today my period started unexpectedly (about a week early) and I'm having some pain and cramping. I took Advil when I got to work two hours ago and it hasn't helped. I really just wish I could lay down with my heating pad. The pain isn't so bad that I can't work at all but it is affecting me. If I could I would work from home, but I'm an intern and don't have VPN privileges.

Should I take the day off to rest and recover for tomorrow? I feel so guilty - I don't usually call off of work. And especially being an intern aiming for possibly full time here, I don't want to be viewed negatively. Also for context: I am an engineering intern at an office with almost all men, so this in general is an uncomfortable topic for me.

Recommendations?

So I got married recently, The thing is everything around my wedding was disappointing to say the least.

Backstory, my husband had been married before (they have a child-who is in their early teens) This is my first marriage and I have no kids, we do have a 8 year age gap. I’m in my mid 20’s.

On the wedding day, We arrive at the ceremony location. He was supposed to coordinate setup with some of my family-which turned out to be half assed setup. People had places to sit but it felt kinda off.

The ceremony was short and sweet as we both hate long drawn out ceremonies. We took family photos for around 20 minutes and spend another 20 minutes taking photos with the two of us.
These photos turned out terrible, AI editing, random people in the background, just all around bad photos. We had taken engagement photos with her, which turned out good. So this was a shock and a bit of a gut punch that my photos looked like they were edited in MS paint.

At some point, he was hot and wanted to take a break. We split up to get some AC and chat with some family, he then decided it was time to go. Didn’t ask, just said it was time to go because his son was ready to leave.
We were at our ceremony location for all of an hour, at the most. He didn’t think it was a big deal but has since realized since that it was a big deal to just leave.

He wants to make it up to me but I feel that it’s moot since we cannot relive that day, we can’t bring our families back around for a re-do, we can’t undo any of it. Plus, nothing is really going to “make it up” since that was a one time thing.

I can’t even offer suggestions as to what would be a way to make it up, I feel like nothing will make it up.

I know one day out of my life isn’t the most important thing, that the world doesn’t revolve around whether or not my wedding was something I enjoyed or went the way I would’ve liked. I don’t see how we can build a life if he can’t even spend a day without bailing.

I find that I remove myself from bridal conversations with my peers, I hate seeing bridal anything online and I also kind of wish that my anniversary will go by unnoticed because that day seemed to be so unimportant to everyone in my life anyways. Am I overthinking this? What do I even do in this situation? He’s a good person, a good partner but when I needed him to be present most, he wasn’t there. What should I do?

I have been a government civilian with the department of the Air Force for almost 10 years. So I have quite a bit of time saved up toward retirement. But lately I have been considering quitting my job and becoming a stay at home wife and mother. I think contributing to these thoughts is the fact that my husband is a captain in the Space Force. We have to move every 2 to 3 years and I have to look for a new job during that time anyway.

This is not something my husband is pushing me to do. I think he is kind of indifferent about it to be honest. And actually, he probably leans more toward me keeping a job. Because, when the kids are older and out of daycare, and we have more cash flow, he would like to do cool trips like Disney cruises and such.

I just think it would be so nice to have time to do laundry, and not start on dinner at 6:30 at night after a 9hr workday and an hr long commute each way. Also, I got so jealous every morning on my way to work when I see women out walking their dogs, or going for a run lol.

I think the biggest thing holding me back, is knowing how important it is in retirement to have multiple streams of income in order to survive. So, I’m just wondering, has anyone here gone from having a career or a full-time job to being a stay at home parent and not regretted it? Or, in the flip side, has anyone gone from having a career or full-time job to be in a stay at home parent and regretted it?

I’m going to do my best to explain all this as shortly as possible but beware it’s pretty long so I apologise.

Okay for me M and my partner F ( both in around 30years old ) have had a really difficult time together in the recent year which I can answer more if you ask me about any of the issues that I bring up here.

My partner quite a while back ‘cheated’ on me 3 days after we was apparently broke up which kinda happens everytime we fight she’d dump me and take me back again and again so it just seemed like a normal break up at the time and get back together situation but she slept with someone else that particular time, she was dealing with being an alcoholic at the time and still is. I was at the time coping with depression and bullying from my job and abusing pain medication to deal with it which I stopped right afterwards.

I begged her not to do it and she did, we got back together pretty much right away and she apologised but I never really could put it behind me, she also asked me to ask her parents permission to marry her because she didn’t think they’d agree to it and wanted to make sure I was serious which I did as I did want that with her and would do anything to keep her. She then got extremely ill a day or two later from drinking and had to be hospitalised and now has a very serious health condition due to it. I cared for her and helped out and seen her at every chance I got when she was in hospital but our issues wasn’t really talked about by either of us I guess because of what was going on.

After she was better and out of hospital, I ain’t sure exactly how long I then cheated on her twice online because well idk there no excuse really but I did feel certain ways because of what happened beforehand. I kept it from her, she found out and took me back more or less straightaway, we agreed to me giving my location and being open which I have been but she has got controlling and paranoid of knowing what I’m doing and where I’m at at all times saying I’m doing things behind her back when I’m with family which I proved and making up situations that didn’t happen like sleeping with a co-worker when they gave me a lift to work at 4:30am while it was storming outside, I usually walk ( I got a new job which I start at 5am ) it’s been around half a year since she found I cheated.

She has started drinking again recently and she gets violent when she drinks but never like this and has punched, kicked me, broke stuff, threatened me and my family, made fun of my appearance and called me very ugly things / insults and so on, it got very serious to where I could of been very seriously injured or worse by her. When I went up to hers to help her and make sure she was okay she got aggressive and said she’s going to kill one of our pets while arguing and ran aggressively towards it screaming / shouting and then went down to grab it with her hand shouting and making it pretty clear she’s was actually going to do it basically so I grabbed her arm and moved her away while she was hitting me as best I could without any intention of harming her or being aggressive, forceful and or hurting her and she now is telling her family I’m a abuser as she was left with a bruise. I don’t believe I used any force that would of harmed or or hurt her I was trying to stop her killing our pet to which she said to me right afterwards she wasn’t actually going to do and that I broke her arm. Which I didn’t she just had a bruise like I said before which was admitted by her but maintains that I did try to break it. She has said multiple times now that she’s going to take me to court for domestic violence among other charges.

I really did try my best to get her help and to help her that day on as if she drinks she could end up in icu or dead because of her condition she now has and I don’t want her 13year old hearing all this going on which they did and was terrified as I was in contact with her that night and to find her mum near death or dead in the morning very possibly, I even rung her ex who she has kids with to come up to try calm her and or take the kid to his for the night, it was 10pm and she was clearly acting irrational, violent towards me and was admittedly trying to drink herself to death which she nearly has before like falling asleep in the bath and nearly drowning in the past but he wouldn’t help even know I told him exactly what was happening and knows about her condition and the kid being there but said he’d come in the morning to check on her but never bothered. So I leave that night and just give space.

I was blocked the next day by everyone and a day later afterwards her sister rings me off her phone screaming that she just had tried to kill herself and it’s my fault then hung up. They won’t answer there phones or get in contact with me, I walked to the hospital that night to see if they had checked her in and they did thankfully and left it at that and didn’t try to make contact with anyone at the hospital but left an iMessage to her saying that I hoped she was okay and so on.

She texts me that day after to say that she is going to take me to court, that I’m an abuser and says other nasty things and that we are done but I feel it’s just another break up or something and get back together thing but I really know if that’s the case anymore, so much has happened that I haven’t said about here too this is only the tip of the iceberg of that day and the days surrounding it and I’m far from innocent in our relationship I’ve made wrongs and mistakes in the past but nothing like threats, violence or anything like that just stupid petty things apart from cheating on her.

I just want some advice or someone to talk to about this feel free the message me because I just don’t know what to do and feel so confused, depressed, worried and in limbo. We’re both responsible adults but this whole situation is just so much and I’d like to say she isn’t just this horrible person she is usually quite sweet and caring but since we got back together after she slept with someone else it feels different and her attitude towards me feels different but maybe I’m just thinking that up.

It’s been about a week nearly now since then and I haven’t heard from anyone. I’m sorry if my grammar is horrible and like I said if anyone has had similar things happen I’d like to hear from them, honestly never felt lower or more confused about what’s happening with my life right now.

Edit: Since I got accused of being AI, btw this is a throw-away account.

My best friend (28F), let's call her Sarah, is a teacher and started talking to someone at work. At first it was really just as friends, but after talking for a year, they started to develop feelings for each other. Sarah told me about it before anything happened. I told her that she could not go any further with him. I told her that the best thing to do was to keep her distance from now on. I understood that that was a hard thing to do, because letting someone go that you really have feelings for, is really hard. But in my opinion, he had to figure out what he wanted: Working on his marriage or ending it to start something with her. That is the correct thing to do, in my opinion at least... About 2 months later, she told me they had gone further. I thought maybe they just kissed once, and they were now planning to fix it: tell his wife and work it out. When I asked how far, she told me they had had sex, several times. Apparently they really thought this through and they feel very guilty, but they keep on having the affair, because even though they know it's wrong and feel guilty, they are also really happy when they are together.

In my opinion, they should stop this, he should tell his wife what happened (cause she deserves to know) and he should figure out what he wants. What he is doing now is the temporary easy solution: make sure his wife doesn't know and figure it out while being with both women.

I'm actually not okay with it... I've talked to her about it already. She knows it's wrong, but keeps doing it anyway. It's been going on for 3 months now.  

I understand that you can have feelings for someone outside of your marriage, I really do. But then you should come clean to your spouse and work on your relationship, or end it if it can't be fixed. That would be the right thing to do.

I have a hard time with this. I don't know what to do... I can't do anything more than having the conversation we already had, where I told her how wrong it was.

Is there anyone who has been in this situation, as the friend (me) or as Sarah?

What did you do?

Do you think this is okay in some way? Are there people who do cheat like this and eventually marry that person and live long happy long lives together? Does that make it okay?

I'm torn between that fact that she may have found the person that will be the one for her, and that it is really not that easy to stop this, and the fact that it's just wrong and they should have handled it differently.

I want to be there for her as a friend, but I'm just so not okay with what's happening that I don't know what I will do in the future when she eventually stays with him and has kids with him.

I just want some advice on what to do and what other people think of this situation.

I feel conflicted, someone in a friend group wants to date. Let's call him Carlton, I find Carlton attractive and easy to talk to but he drinks a lot, like everyday and copious amounts on weekends. I'm in a phase in my life where I'm being intentional about reducing my time spent in environments where there is alcohol. Our mutual friend also drinks quite a lot, and she has been trying to get us together for a few months now. I hung out with them yesterday, Carlton and I made out a few times which was fun and it's nice to be wanted. I had a great time catching up with them but this morning I'm hungover and lethargic.

I don't want to date him because he parties a lot and I'm moving away from that right now in my life. I ended a 4 year relationship with an alcoholic about 3 years ago, although I now feel healed and have moved on, I was very traumatised by that experience and thankfully have not forgotten how I felt at the time.

I want to be honest with Carlton, but I'm not sure if it's best to tell him the real reason that I'm not interested, I don't want to disrupt the friendship group dynamic but I am willing to if needs be. Any thoughts and tips are most welcome.

Edit. Thanks for these responses. I will speak my truth without being accusatory, I'll say that "I'm in a place where I'm trying to drink less so I don't think this would work" rather than "you drink too much so I don't think this would work."

Hi! I have a problem and I don't know what to do 😅 My parents buy a LOT of phones at a local church market. They're donations from both individuals and companies, so they're not stolen or anything. The problem is, out of every 10 phones, easily 7-8 are locked... and they don't listen when I tell them they're wasting money. They keep insisting on accumulating them, saying, "Some way to unlock them will eventually come up." And I don't know what to do, whether to stop them somehow so they stop wasting money, or simply ignore them because they're cheap (they say they pay around 10-15 euros for each one), or what, since they celebrate like it's a victory every time one works, and it's like... these are phones that, for the most part, are worthless, from old iPhones to Chinese Androids from obscure brands, they're not "gaining" anything because one works and they can use it (since they want them as emergency phones and such, for calls, photos, and simple things like that, in case theirs stops working, or things like that, they don't sell them or anything like that), they're simply losing money because, either they're literally throwing money away on a phone where, essentially, you can only reuse the camera and maybe the battery if it's not swollen, or they're paying 15 euros for a phone they don't need, don't use, and that's worth around 100 euros in any second-hand store.

It's also worth mentioning that I've tried speaking with the person in charge of donations at the church, and basically their response has been, "Most of them are donated by electronics recycling companies, we can't contact them," while for individuals, "Yes, we'll ask when we see them again." (They never ask anything because in the cases where I've managed to contact the previous owner, most said they were regular but the priest didn't say anything. In fact, those are some of the few I managed to unlock because they said they forgot to remove the code. But unfortunately, most simply don't have any contact number that can be accessed without unlocking the phone, or they don't answer calls, except for one elderly woman who thought I was scamming her and insulted me lol.)

Also, sorry for my bad english, im using a translator 😅

We dated for a year, and we broke up for reasons that didn't make much sense. I didn't have a choice in the breakup, he was the one who left me. He has had a rough couple of months and was going through a move to a different city (still close to each other). The breakup came out of the blue, two days before our highschool prom. We were always so happy together, I was shocked and so was everyone who knew us. He is an amazing person and I love him more than anything, and I know it's unlikely, but I would love to be back with him. I love him so much. The current situation is what is worrying. I already decided I am not keeping the baby, but I don't know whether I should tell him or not. I want to do whatever will keep my chances of getting back together with him. I am scared that if I tell him he won't want me back. Please give me advice. Edit: I am on birth control and know that keeping the baby is wrong. I did not mean to get pregnant and I am not trying to baby trap him. I have already decided to get an abortion, I just can't figure out how to deal with the situation at hand. thank you all so much for the advice!!! EDIT AGAIN!! I AM NOT KEEPING THE BABY OR TRYING TO BABY TRAP HIM!!! I JUST DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO TELL HIM OR NOT!!

There is this girl who says she loves me only ever since she was a kid. But she had exes and when i asked her abt them then she said that cuz she was feeling lonely thats why she used to get into relationships.

**How to know if she is right and not lying to me?**

I need your thoughts and advice with my sister in law. She’s my wife’s sister. Also, she is only 5 yrs older than me. I interact with her almost everyday since we live in the same house. We are pretty close in terms of our relationship and she flirts from time to time. She’s also comfortable around me.

I’m home watching the brazil vs Norway game my wife was out running errands in the mids of me watching the game she shows up I’m confused cause this was random but she was dropping something for my wife she went into the kitchen to drop it there after she leaves it on the kitchen counter she ends up picking something off the floor lol I’m on the sofa watching the game leaned over and looked and she was wearing a light blue laced underwear after she picked it up she seen me stare and did a little smirk than left after 30 mins when she leave she texted me how was view? But i havent replied Now cant stop thinking about the view

So. I. (21m) was seeing a girl “B” (20) for a few months. We’ve spoke to eachother time and time before, have known eachother for about a year and changeish before we decided to start talking to eachother seriously. She was basically a mirrored version of me and vice versa. She was so perfect. Her bestfriend (N,21) and I went to highschool together but never really spoke.

About 6 months ago me and B decided to start talking and take things slow but serious. I was just getting out of a year long relationship and she was trying to really feel me out before deciding to date me. Unfortunately,, before I got the chance to properly ask her out. She died of an overdose alone in her bedroom. Her best friend (N) called me 2 days after the funeral to let me know.

About a monthish after that and weeks of crying till my face bled, N and I went to B’s house to help clean out her bedroom alongside her family members and other friends.

We started getting closer and closer, hanging out multiple times a week and calling almost daily. I thought this was all for closure. We were all grieving and I figured the more time we spent together talking about B, the easier it’d be to get through these terrible times.

About a month ago, 3 months to the date of B’s death, N told me she has a crush on me. I had been feeling like she did but kept gaslighting myself into believing what was unfolding infront of me was NOT unfolding infront of me. My therapist said I should pop the question and so I did.

And her answer was. Yes.

She feels like she has a crush on me, she doesn’t know why, etc etc.

Great. Perfect. My dead girlfriend’s bestfriend wants to sleep with me.

After weeks of casually talking about our types and favorite this and that, I started over analyzing everything. Every subtle compliment made twords me, every door I held for her. Everything.

We were talking about this in my apartment and then drove to a bar a friend of mine was working at to continue the conversation.(only drove to the bar bc I promised my sister I’d go there while she was working to keep her company) I told her I like our dynamic how it is and… oh yea B is dead. On the drive home she says, “B is probably already mad at us for having this conversation anyways, how much madder could she get if we slept together.” I was absolutely blown.

I asked if I could touch her thigh, asked her to reach in my pants, asked if we could makeout, just to see if she was serious. In hindsight, dumb as fuck, but I genuinely couldn’t believe it. Every time she had a flirty excuse for why she couldn’t in that moment, not why she wouldn’t.

I asked if she wanted to makeout at a red light and she said yea. She leaned in, eyes closed. I leaned in, eyes open, immediately pulled tf back and yelled a little. I’m like dude wtf. You can’t just let this happen. Your bestfriend is dead. My girl is dead. What the fuck.

She dropped me off at home and before I left she told me not to test her again.

So fast forward to now. She’s basically saying she can’t stop thinking about me and doesn’t know what to do. I thought this situation was buried as soon as it sprouted.

I enjoy hanging out with N because it makes me feel closer to B. They speak the same language, N knew where B’s favorite restaurants were that B was gonna take me before she died, and she tells me all these stories about B. We literally went over B’s entire autopsy file days ago. I don’t want to stop talking to her, but I also don’t want this getting brought up again.

What do I do man. I feel like a piece of meat in a lions den. I don’t put on my expensive cologne or wear my extra fitted shirts around N. I’m just myself around her. Just basic kindness. I’m not even her type…. So its js a double triple mind fuck yk? Especially since this is the 2nd time this has happened. What have I done wrong/what can I do to make this better.

Sorry if anything is unclear. I’m just disappointed and rlly emotional right now.

I miss you Blanca. I’m sorry this is happening.

What do I do.

So as title says, I met this girl on Tinder and she's 18. She's basically an international student who's just arrived to the country like 3 weeks back and was looking to meet guys, she later tells me that she's trying to lose her vcard. I'd already said yes to meeting her so I met and we took a small edible, made out and basically received oral from her. Still didn't sleep with her though.

I had never met up with anyone with that much of an age gap but I was curious but I came home and immediately regretted it. I know myself now how creepy it is and have learnt my lesson never to hang out with 18 or 19 year olds.

But, she stays alone and told me when we met that she's very depressed moving to a new place, lack of new friends, loneliness, strict parents etc so I'm sure she's just doing this to find some company and dealing with trauma. She just told me on the phone that she was extremely depressed when she first came here. I do care about her wellbeing, and wanted her to have some help.

Even though she wants me to be 'casual', I don't want her to get attached to me but instead find the help she needs and similar age group friends.

I'm to meet her go on a walk soon, I was thinking I'll let her know that I won't be intimate with her again but I'm still down to meet for the walk and stay friends if she wants someone to talk to, but that she should date guys her age. Also will be trying to get her to sign up with a free youth mental health provider. It's either this or I just tell her that I'm not meeting her again and still say that I'd be there to talk to her on the phone?

I just need someone to calm me down, I feel like a creep, I want to do the right thing.

Lately, things between us have really fallen apart. We’ve been arguing a lot. I can handle some hurtful words during an argument, even though they still hurt me.
Today we argued again because of a misunderstanding. I felt like, once again, he didn’t let me finish what I was trying to say. Instead, he immediately jumped to conclusions, saying things like, “We both know you didn’t mean anything other than XYZ.” That triggered really intense emotions in me, which, of course, turned into, “As usual, you can’t control your emotions.”
He keeps telling me that all I want is to argue and that I’m doing all of this on purpose.
And finally, he texted me, “You’re really a bad person. I don’t know what’s actually good about you—that’s just a mask.”
That hurt me deeply. No one has ever told me that I’m a bad person before. Hearing it from my boyfriend makes me feel truly awful.
I think that maybe even if we’re not right for each other, that doesn’t mean he should talk about me like that. And it isn’t the first time he’s said things like this to me.It hurts me that he seems to see only those things in me whenever there’s a misunderstanding and we end up arguing.

And fuck… the person I love, and who supposedly loves me, is telling me how awful I am. It wouldn’t have hurt me as much if he had said I was being rude or even acting like a bitch. But when the person you love tells you that you’re genuinely a bad person, that there’s nothing kind about you, and that it’s all just a mask… I don’t feel like I’m worth anything in his eyes after these words.

Two months after I graduated highschool, I met a 20 year old guy who I initially turned down for friendship because of our 2.5 year age gap and because I seriously only wanted friends. But when he met in person, he pursued me anyways despite my request to remain friends. I felt flattered at his advances and I grew attached.

When we started dating, he made me hide my age and keep our relationship "private", but in reality it was to be kept secret. He didn't bring me around to meet all of his friends until after I turned 18, and he expressed his fear to me that his friends would drop him if they found out we started dating when I was 17.

We were together for 6 months and I broke up with him recently because it was an extremely toxic relationship and he did not always ask for my consent, but also because our age gap started making me feel sick to my stomach.

Recently, I've been talking to people in my life about our relationship and I get mixed reactions ranging from "17 and 20 isn't that bad" to "He's a creep". While I don't think he's purposely going after younger girls, I do think he shouldn't have pursued me when I was 17 while he was entering his 3rd year of college, ignored my request to stay friends, and made me hide my age. I feel disgusted that I might've been taken advantage of and have been wanting to privately message his friends the truth about our relationship, how old I am and that he made me hide my age, but I'm afraid of the backlash I'll face if his friends think our age gap isn't that serious.

To keep it at short as possible, my older brother has had anger/behavior regulation problems since he was a teenager, and there was always friction and constant fighting in the house until he finally moved for school. About 5 years ago, he moved back in after dropping out of his undergrad under the pretense that he would take some time to get back on his feet. My parents noticed his mental health had declined even further, even suspecting something like schizophrenia. He began picking fights again with them, not just verbal but escalating to physical aggression and threats on their life.

I came home on christmas about two years ago and he picked a fight with a man that he thought was stalking(?) our house when he had walked by too close to our fence/too many times(?) while walking his dog. He spent all of christmas break pacing around the house and the backyard looking for this man, (holding a switchblade at times?) and one night finally announced that he'd killed him... which although highlyunlikely is not something we ever verified. As I moved out around the time he moved back in, this was the only time i was witness to an "episode" of his, but his behavior seems generally erratic; antisocial and rare to leave the house, pacing, often irritable and emotionally sensitive, low patience. Its hard to describe

While I've been living away my mom has been hiding a lot of what else has happened from me over the phone, but the situation has only seemingly escalated from there. My parents own a rental home which they repossessed and made into a sort of safe house and which my dad moved into eventually, as their relationship was a big trigger for both of them. My brother is not only a large emotional drain on my aging parents, but an immediate danger to their lives and a huge financial strain. They've basically been in paralysis at what to do as he doesn't see an issue with any of his behaviours, even denies remembering his rage/paranoia episodes, obviously refuses to seek any sort of professional help. I'm at a loss at what i can do myself and how I can help my parents other than beyond the sacrifices I've already made to self-fund my own life and education while he freeloads and abuses them. They refuse to give up on him, kick him out to the street, etc... we are immigrants and have no extended family here, nor does my brother have friends in the area. Ofcourse we all also want a positive outcome for him, for him to learn to manage his emotions and be able to be live independently, but he himself needs to want help

I really dont know... maybe one of you kind with outside perspective or experience has some advice on how to approach this... tia <3

I'm 19 years old. I use our family PC for gaming. A days ago I was looking through some folders to free up space. That's when I found a folder named 'Interfaith' . I was curious so I opened it.

What I found really upset me.

There were intimate videos of my mom with my next door neighbour. That was bad enough.. Some videos had another man too. I don't know who he is. I thought maybe he's a friend of my stepdad. I really have no idea.

I closed everything away.. The images are stuck in my head. I haven't been able to stop thinking about it.

The hardest part is that I love my mom more than anyone. Shes always been there for me. Now every time I see her I remember what I accidentally saw. I feel guilty for finding those videos. I also feel angry that they were on the family computer that I use every day.

I don't know if my stepdad knows about the videos. I don't know if it's something they're both okay, with. I don't want to jump to conclusions. I don't know the story.

Since then I've been avoiding everyone at home. I can't focus on games or college. I even have trouble sleeping. I feel like I learned something I wasn't supposed to know.

Please help and feel free to DM for any type of advice

It is incredibly strange to be friends with someone who has a completely different life philosophy and moral compass. We have been best friends for over 15 years, and up until this point, we managed to get along pretty well despite our differences.

I used to love talking to her and listening to her, and I have always been there for her through tough times. However, I grew up as a practicing Muslim, while she is (in my opinion) a complete hedonist. I have never tried to force my beliefs onto her. But when she constantly talks about her numerous sexual partners, her chaotic situationships, the endless parties, and her drug consumption, I can't help but feel upset at times. Still, I always tried to support her, listen to her, and understand her, telling myself, "Hey, we just come from different cultures." But my frustration is growing stronger every day.

She constantly faces the exact same problems with her partners, it is the same story every single time. I can’t listen to it anymore. I just want to tell her to obsessing over men omg, it's like 80% of our conversations. I'm tired of listening, it's like a broken record. (Although it is pretty entertaining sometimes, but after 15 years y'all I'm tired)

Things reached a peak when she had her first drug-induced psychosis. I had voiced my concerns in the past, but I never tried to force her to change; in fact, I used to feel guilty and worried that my frustration meant I was being "controlling." After that first episode, she didn't change her lifestyle at all and, as you guessed it, suffered a second psychosis. She did some pretty messed-up things during this second episode, and I don't even know how to feel about it.

I was the one who drove three hours to the party she was at, to get her into a psychiatric hospital, because she was literally attempting to drive while actively psychotic. I spent the entire day trying to "catch" and safely contain her. After that, I feel like something broke inside me.

I notice that I just don't feel much empathy toward her anymore. I can’t even bring myself to text her because I’m terrified of what she’s going to tell me next. To put it simply: I just don't care anymore, and I don’t want to hear it.

Following her release, she was strictly told to reduce stress (as she might have bipolar disorder) and to completely avoid all drugs, including alcohol. Yet, she just called me to talk about a party she went to, brushing it off because she *"*was only there for a few hours," and admitting she drank, but claiming "it’s okay because it was just a tiny bit." I just can't listen to this anymore.

I deeply care about her, but I have no idea what to do. She is still freshly out of the psychiatric ward, and I don’t want to emotionally overwhelm her, but I honestly don't know what is going on with me right now. It's super strange when I see her and talk to her, it's like always: fun. But when she leaves and I reflect everything, I grow frustrated. At times even hating her??? It's eating me up inside.
It's not like she did anything bad to me specifically (although I don't like how she treats her partners lol), I don't even know if I have the right to be upset...

Any advice would be welcomed.

Hii, I have never had a therapist before (longer then like 3 sessions). I decided to see a male therapist as I am trying to get over my discomfort around them. I haven’t gone through assault or anything just to clarify but have avoided men my whole life due to being that scared. I told him about that during my first session.

But my last session with him we where having a conversation, when I said about my sibling hating that I was born and I said I think it may be because of my sibling wanting all attention from family. He said “Is that the only reason you can think?” I said yea and he paused. The only thing that really makes me feel off is during the pause I felt the same kind of discomfort from men that I usually feel but haven’t with him until now. I remember thinking surely he’s not about to say what I think he is. (He did)

He said “I can think of a reason” “I think because your conventionally attractive” when I said that I wish it was any other reason because u cant change your looks he said “Yea we can’t help winning the genetic lottery.” And I feel like he didn’t really validate what I said.

I could be completely wrong in reading this weird, I don’t think he meant it in a weird way but now I am overthinking.