Is this behavior from my bf acceptable? 28F 28M
My bf (28M) and I (28F) have been together for 5 and a half years. No ring. He’s just now began the process of making one.
Over the weekend I guess I embarrassed him (accidentally) in public. He was going on about this expensive necklace he got me that I’ve never even been able to wear because it’s too small. When he gave it to me and I tried to put it on, he told ME to buy the $50 extender for jt. So I mentioned this in response to him talking about it and he got very quiet and angry.
He yelled at me when we got home and made me apologize over and over again for hours. When I thought things were finally resolved, after 3 hours of apologizing and him finally accepting my apology, he brought it back up even more aggressively than before. He said he only “moved the blanket” but in the process he pushed my feet so hard it made my whole body jerk. I tried to stand up to him but that was what he wanted - he finally got a rise out of me.
He said that he doesn’t take me out on dates because I have no social graces or sense of how to act in public. He said that I’m not a girl worth taking out on dates. and if I want to be dated, I should try being a girl worth dating. I said “then you probably shouldn’t marry me” and he said “you promise?”
And then he stood over me with a slight smug grin on his face while I sobbed.
He tells me this is normal for men - and that he acts this way because he was so angry and he’s just expressing his emotion - and asking him to control his temper is like asking him to bottle up and bury all his emotions.
He’s the only person who has ever loved me. I’ve been disowned by my family, I don’t really have friends. I don’t know what to do or if this or normal. Even if it isn’t I’m afraid if I leave I’ll be alone forever, as I have no one else and he’s the only person who has ever loved me.
He has apologized and cried over it and I ended up having to take care of him the two days after it happened bc he felt so bad. He signed up for an anger management therapist but after 5 years of incidences like this, I feel like I’m dying inside.
Advice? Thoughts?
EDIT: To answer some questions : He is sweet and amazing 99% of the time - this kind of stuff only happens maybe once or twice a year, which makes it so hard. As soon as I think he’s healed his temper it happens again. He has an appt with anger management on Thursday. I have PTSD and depression (not from him) which makes it extremely difficult to live on my own. We’ve been friends for almost 10 years now - he is my best friend I just don’t know how he could be so cruel. I’ve never said anything like that to anyone before.