I'm an idiot
I've been with my SO literally 9 years. Our dating anniversary was last Friday. We got married in late January; he asked for a divorce in early June. I spent a month miserable and blaming myself, and then he tells me he's been seeing prostitutes for 7/9 years. Less than 10 times overall according to him-- just whenever he felt "weak".
I would be inclined to believe him-- he's got a 40 hour job plus a side gig. I work PT at two jobs, but we agreed I'd do PT to help with the farm-- we have a small farm and far too many dogs to manage. We're ALWAYS busy, which I had and have been pushing back against because wtf; we never have any time together that doesn't revolve around chores.
He pestered ME to marry him, not the other way around. I told him multiple times: don't marry me because you feel like you're supposed to, do it because you want to. He kept pestering me. Into eloping in FL in late January.
When he asked for the divorce everyone's question was is there another woman, but where would he find the time?
He was much nicer and open and honestly very repenting once he finally admitted it. He seemed like he was making strides. He finally started therapy and was actually communicating. Finally opening up even though I thought I'd been asking the right questions. Clearly I wasn't.
He is a fucking cliché. Fucked prostitutes while he was on business trips. Jfc.
How could I be so fucking stupid?
Are there ways I can find out concrete proof of his escort services? I want all the ammo I can get for the divorce.
In my state we can just divorce, but I'm tired of him accusing me of being a whore because men notice me. Yes, I know that sounds childish, but I can't help that I have boobs. He actually accused me of being a whore because I sent Snapchats of my talking while doing chores for the 1000 animals we have because I have cleavage and was in a tank top. A $5 tank top from Walmart. I'm a B cup. If my tits bounce I'm lucky lol. It's not me trying to show off.
9 years of a waste of time.