parents spot bad friends before their kids. i’m questioning one of my friendships and wondering if i should distance myself
people always say that parents are usually pretty good at guessing when someone is bad for you.
i (F19) met this girl in english class in university and we became friends. it’s not a friendship where i’m like oh my gosh where have you been all my life. it’s just like chill like okay you’re nice cool let’s be friends.
but overtime i’ve just been noticing some things that have rlly rubbed me the wrong way. it gave me an ick i guess you could say. and when i think of them all compiled im really second guessing our friendship. here’s a list of things i can think of
we were at the mall and she was eating a snack and left her garbage on the shelf in the aisle (another similar incident also happened)
came to my house and took a sprite can from my roommates stash. i told her those were not mine but she said oh they won’t notice.
little racist comments
lack of empathy. i am overly sensitive and emotional sometimes. so maybe my empathy expectations are too high but i feel like she’s so logical with everything and doesn’t think emotionally alot of times
boy crazy. always talking about crushes and boyfriends and feel like almost puts men on a pedestal. she started dating someone and while i do think it’s important to prioritize romantic relationships, i think that comes with a limit. like put your partner first in times of need, make sure they’re feeling loved, and do whatever you can to support them etc.
but i don’t think that means to do the following:
\- me, her, her boyfriend, and the boyfriends cousin went out. me and her had planned the night out i was excited she was gonna sleepover. but then at the end she decided she wanted to go home with him just cause. may be dramatic but i felt abandoned. i had already told her that i wanted to spend more time with her. like i havent seen her as much after they got together
\- we went out to dinner. her boyfriend lived close by. she said she wanted to see him. i said okay. she went up to his room and made me sit alone in the lobby for like 40 minutes. mind you they already see eachother multiple times a week.
\-we met up with her boyfriend one night. her and i were going to go out and eat dinner. asked if he wanted to join, he said sure. she was down to go. as soon as he said he changed his mind because he was tired, suddenly she says she isn’t hungry.
let her boyfriend tell me that adhd is not real (after i expressed struggling with symptoms and wanting to be tested) i would’ve hoped for her to correct him and stand up for me but no. she just briefly apologized after we were alone
said she judges people with bright coloured hair. not in like a oh it looks bad. she said she would assume they’re mentally ill. ik lots of people think this but idk if i ever decide to dye my hair i wanna be able to be comfortable around my friends.
this is just a general statement that applies in many scenarios: wants a village, does not want to be a villager. there’s no reciprocation in so many aspects. one recent example is how i spent an hour listening to her rant about something school related. then when it was my turn, she listened but then got interrupted by a phone call. it was like a 2 minute call. and after she ended it, she never told me to continue. she just talked about the call and said oh i have so much homework to do we have been talking for so long (not in a rude way but like still felt inconsiderate)
another time i had a big event i was nervous for. she talked to me for a little bit and then switched the topic to rant about something her friend did.
my confusion is that i know everyone has flaws. are these a big deal? like am i doing myself a disservice?