u/No_Sea_360

Hi, I’m 20m and I have muscular dystrophy so usually I stay inside house and have zero irl social life. Lately my online discord friends college started and i can’t able to talk to them on my dc gc. I’m feeling lonely because of that. I don’t know what to do? I am watching anime, listening music, drawing and tracing all day. But I’m missing my friends. I know everyone gets busy and get tired after college all day. Right now it’s night 12:24 am the lonely feeling too much and also can’t able sleep.

Also I’m feet too tired and left all other discord servers too, i just can’t able to talk with people around my age if try i feel too much overwhelmed while talking with guys and girls (with girls too too much) but fine when person is older than me by two years. Sorry at this point I’m just ranting here.

I’m 20 year old guy from India with muscular dystrophy. I’ve been feeling gloomy whole day and I don’t why but when I sit quietly i get one thought I don’t really have anyone to share how gloomy, lonely I am feeling and how much anxiety about earning money, i haven’t even got good laptop to starting learning editing skill on pc and I know editing on phone but i don’t know how i find short from editing work on online.

Then i am feel fomo of being single all because of social media and i putting all those videos and channels in not interested but I am keeping getting those type of videos. Then I feel more hopeless and thought come will ever find someone for me? Like i don’t go outside where maybe I can meet someone and all i am meeting with girls on Reddit and discord and i am introvert only can talk about my hobbies and ask questions about family and other things. I’m so boring person. why even someone like to stay with me?, what even i have to offer? I am just scared of being alone and never able experience love in my life. I am weird I get jealous from people who are in relationship and guys who can talk with girls with ease. Anyways of all this is my anxiety thoughts.

In reality I’m just tired of talking with people and I am don’t even try to talk with new girls even if it’s online or make friends. I’m only watching tv series and anime all day. Just send one or two text in my own discord server.

Everything feels so uncertain for me earning, finding love, Health with muscular dystrophy.

I’m 20 year old guy from India. I’ve been feeling gloomy and stuck whole day and I don’t why and one thought is coming I don’t really have anyone to share how I am feeling like lonely and how much worried I am how I will find work to earn, i haven’t even got good laptop to starting learning editing skill on pc and I editing on phone but don’t how i find work online with physically disabled like muscular dystrophy it’s so hard to find way to earn.

Then i feel fomo of being single and also hopeless will ever find someone for me (i don’t go out stay inside house and all i meet with girls on Reddit and discord and i am introvert only can talk about my hobbies and ask questions about family and other thing im so boring person), why even someone like to stay with me?, what even i have to offer. I am just being scared of being alone and never able experience love in my life. I am weird I get jealous from people who are in relationship and guys who can talk with girls with ease.

Everything feels so uncertain for me earning, finding love because of my muscular dystrophy.

My mom said something today that’s been on my mind all day. For context, I used to spend about 5 minutes every day doing a religious prayer. I stopped because I simply don’t feel connected to it anymore. These days, I’d rather spend those 5 minutes listening to music or just sitting quietly.
Today my mom said something like:
“Please start prayers again, even if it’s only for 5 minutes. You used to do it before. Can’t you do it for me and your dad? We do everything for you. We get you whatever you ask for. Don’t you love me?”
I replied, “If you love me, then you stop doing it,” mostly because I wanted to end the conversation. Then I told her honestly that I just don’t feel like doing it anymore.
Now I’m conflicted.
My parents genuinely do a lot for me. They take care of me, support me, and buy the things I need. So part of me keeps thinking:
“What do I even do for them? If they’re only asking for 5 minutes, can’t I do that for them?”
But another part of me feels uncomfortable because if I do the chanting, I’d only be doing it out of guilt, not because I actually believe in it or want to.
So now I’m stuck between wanting to appreciate my parents and not wanting to pretend to be religious just to make someone else happy.
Has anyone else dealt with something similar? How would you approach this?

I feel like I’m a person who keeps repeating mistakes.
I know that whenever I say something, it somehow ends up with me getting blamed for things that aren’t even in my control.
Recently, my mother was giving examples of other people’s sons. She said someone’s son bought an AC for his mom, and my cousin mentioned his friend bought his mom an expensive phone.
I replied to my mother, “Every example exists. You can’t deny one example and agree with another.”
She responded by saying that I only talk like that because I get things without struggles or doing anything.
Then today, I told my mom, “I wish you would go to the shop. You yell so much, and I need some peace.”
She immediately started crying and took it as if I hate her, don’t like her, and don’t respect everything she does for me.
That’s what always happens. I say one thing, and everyone takes it to the extreme.
She often talks as if I don’t understand her pain of having kids who aren’t “normal.” But I do understand her pain. I see how much time she spends praying and chanting, hoping that God will cure me.
What hurts is that she doesn’t seem to understand me beyond my physical condition.
Does she understand how lonely I am?
How low my self-esteem is?
How much I overthink everything?
How frustrated I am because of all the things I can’t do or can’t have?
People tell me to have faith in God, but what reason do I have?
My mom tells me to pray and chant, and I always tell her that’s good if it gives her hope. But has it made any difference for me? I’m still experiencing the same struggles. My disability hasn’t changed. My loneliness hasn’t changed. My frustration hasn’t changed.
I’m not saying she’s wrong for believing. I’m saying I don’t know what reason I personally have to believe when my reality hasn’t changed.
I also know parents have stress and problems of their own. But they’re still individuals who have lived their own lives and experienced things outside of being parents.
What do I have?
I’m 20 years old, and it feels like my world is just physical limitations, loneliness, overthinking, and feeling misunderstood.
Sometimes I just want to be alone because my mind is exhausted. But when I ask for space, people think I hate them. They don’t understand that wanting to be alone doesn’t mean I don’t love them. It just means I need peace.

Today I saw one reel on insta. It so me person said yess i laugh and srounded ppl still feel alone can’t really say anything what’s in mind to family and friends. (Well religious family)

But also i thought this after watching that reel.
maybe it’s the same with everyone and i just feel too much.

As home bound person with muscular dystrophy there are limit things I can. Like I watch YouTube, instagram, Anime, Listen music, singing, little anime edits making there is limit for me to do stuff.

sometime i want to do different things but as disabled and home bound, I just can’t do.

Maybe that’s why my mind fantasise idea of Relationship and girlfriend.

But again things options are limited and too much efforts even get in one girl’s Dm on online discord. So overthinking stuff feels less tiring.

Sometimes I feel being this too much self aware is cure.

Also when i chat in my Discord group and friends roast me, jokes on me, had joke conversation about me and always pick up me to roast and joke about.

I know they are joking and i don’t feel any offence and offended.

but it’s just feels different like Why always only me?.

I don’t really react strongly on them least they’re talking to me.

Right now again I am standing on starting point I have friends people laugh with them still feels alone.

I got recjected today feeling sad. I also blank i don’t know what to do.

I am doing everything I like to do, watching anime, editing, talking with friends on discord, music singing and everything going fine in my life.

Yet there is unhappy feeling that i can’t explain, loneliness that won’t go away? Why i awake staring at screen and feel scared to let go phone from hand? Is feeling always miserable with all kind of emotions is being disabled. Tbh I got bad habit i just always play dumb front of friends. Maybe I am dumb always notice little things and overthinking about it despite knowing this will won’t help.

So I’ve been like low and thinking about my disability (muscular dystrophy) and how my life is hard and i can’t have girlfriend and even hurting my parents getting angry over little things like not praying and arguing.

So last night I was scrolling YouTube and i found this podcast “are you living for you?” And i listened the podcast and podcast discussed really good topics like saying no to people, sharing your own opinion, doing things in peer pressure or chasing friendships or relationships and scared of loosing people over small things.

After listening podcast I sat and thought about it and recalled my conversations with my friend and this is what she was also telling me and I was being blindsided by my own pain and not to seeing her care.

Now I understand this I just have to do things that brings me joy and peace✌🏻to me and make time for myself not chasing others, because people come and go in life. Only I will stay with myself so why I spend time hurting myself, where I can do lot of better things reading a manga, watching anime or movie, listening music and singing, doodles on phone, maybe start conversation with people on discord. Rather than Crying for things I don’t have. I know I will still get low moments and feel lonely or sometimes i might wanting chasing people. But from now I will do journal daily and give most of time to myself doing things I enjoy. 😊

I’m a 20 year old guy with muscular dystrophy (yes I need help with normal things and use wheelchair), and I’ve always wondered something. When you’re getting to know someone, would you rather they mention a disability early on or only after you’ve known them for a while? And would a physical disability be a dealbreaker for any girl, or does it depend on the person? If it’s dealbreaker should I stop trying the thing is “I believe in love but i don’t believe someone can love me” Just curious to hear different perspectives. My all interactions happen online.

I am talking with someone from few weeks. I don’t have any romantic feelings for her and i just feel good when I talk with her and share memes. But when i think to tell her about my disability i feel, anxiety comes in “what if she see me differently or stop talking or stop watching reels i send or worse insult me” Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I wasn’t disabled. When I start getting close to someone or enjoy talking to someone, I end up overthinking things a lot. Not just the usual worries about whether they like me or not, but also concerns about how they’ll see my disability, when to tell them about it, whether it changes how they view me like if they feel any attraction towards me and what if they stop talking and categories me, and what the future might look like. Sometimes I think that if I were non-disabled, socializing and getting to know people would feel much more free and natural. Like I would’ve get nervous but not extra layer of anxiety come from disability (I have muscular dystrophy)
I know everyone has insecurities and relationship worries, but I wonder if this is one of the differences between disabled and non-disabled people when it comes to forming connections.

I’m 20 and have muscular dystrophy. Today I had a conversation that hit me harder than I expected in discord. People were talking about studying for exams, and they asked me what I was studying. I explained that I don’t go to school or college because of my disability muscular dystrophy and how complicated my situation is. They said “you could’ve do online study” I told them that “it’s was hard for me and i spent my day just managing pain” They asked what I plan to do in the future, and I said “I’m learning video editing and hoping something works out” and their responses felt ignorant, made me feel misunderstood. one person said “it’s common in boys” (she meant to muscular dystrophy) i said to her “I know this fact, should it make me feel good? It makes me feel worse.” and one joke about it has own benefits. 
Then i cried for 30 minutes alone and everything felt useless to me even my dreams to find editing work and i asked to buy me powerful good laptop and felt dumb just to hoping someone will love me. Like people doesn’t even know to show empathy and here i am hoping like dumb 🤡maybe i have little chance. 
For now I’m feel fine but little sad but i know in midnight I’m gonna cry again.

https://preview.redd.it/icukifgdm32h1.png?width=1224&format=png&auto=webp&s=7e46a0aa97b42482b20c840593ec4dd6cdeca3da

I’m looking at the Lenovo LOQ 15IAX9 on Flipkart right now. It has the i5-12450HX, 16GB RAM, and a 4050 for around ₹63,990.

Honestly, most 4050 laptops I see are closer to 70k-75k, so I'm a bit skeptical about why this one is so cheap. Is the GPU power limited, or is it just lower priced because of the 12th gen CPU?

If you have this exact laptop, let me know if it's worth buying or if I should look elsewhere. Thanks!

I'M FROM INDIA My family is very religious, and they expect me to pray all the time. I feel like being disabled in a religious country makes things even harder. Recently, I argued with my dad and told him I don’t like doing religious activities.

Since then, my mom has been playing religious chanting in the morning and evening. I don’t mind it in the morning, but in the evening it makes me feel uncomfortable. I told her not to play it, but she always says things like, “If you love me, you will do it.”

I’ve been going along with it for the past four days, but today I lost control and got angry at my mom. She got hurt, and now I feel bad about it. But she still doesn’t understand how mentally exhausting it is to be forced into something I don’t want to do.

I can’t even escape I have to listen to it for two hours, and I can’t play loud music either because I don’t like loud noise. I feel like this is happening to me mainly because I’m disabled.

Is anyone else experiencing this? What should I do?

I’m 20 and have Muscular Dystrophy, so I’m home pretty much 24/7 my whole life happens through my phone and laptop. I’m tired of advice like “just go out” or “focus on yourself.” I do focus on myself finding remote job and doing content creation but I’m also lonely and want to date. The problem is I don’t have “normal” daily experiences, so conversations sometimes feel like an interview, and I end up carrying them. Online is my only way to meet people, and I don’t always pick up social cues well. How do I make conversations feel more natural instead of like Q&A, and how do I find someone who sees me as a partner, not someone to feel sorry for? Also, are there any spaces (especially in India) where people actually value personality over lifestyle? I’m just trying to figure out how to work with the reality I have.

I have tried dating advice and twenties India and i didn’t got any response.

I’m 20 and have Muscular Dystrophy, so I’m home pretty much 24/7 my whole life happens through my phone and laptop. I’m tired of advice like “just go out” or “focus on yourself.” I do focus on myself finding remote job and doing content creation but I’m also lonely and want to date. The problem is I don’t have “normal” daily experiences, so conversations sometimes feel like an interview, and I end up carrying them. Online is my only way to meet people, and I don’t always pick up social cues well. How do I make conversations feel more natural instead of like Q&A, and how do I find someone who sees me as a partner, not someone to feel sorry for? Also, are there any spaces (especially in India) where people actually value personality over lifestyle? I’m just trying to figure out how to work with the reality I have.

I’m 20 and have Muscular Dystrophy, so I’m home pretty much 24/7 my whole life happens through my phone and laptop. I’m tired of advice like “just go out” or “focus on yourself.” I do focus on myself finding remote job and doing content creation but I’m also lonely and want to date. The problem is I don’t have “normal” daily experiences, so conversations sometimes feel like an interview, and I end up carrying them. Online is my only way to meet people, and I don’t always pick up social cues well. How do I make conversations feel more natural instead of like Q&A, and how do I find someone who sees me as a partner, not someone to feel sorry for? Also, are there any spaces (especially in India) where people actually value personality over lifestyle? I’m just trying to figure out how to work with the reality I have.