r/Life

I (23M) watched this 8 year old video on YouTube that takes place in London. A street interviewer asks if girls would date a virgin . Most of the women in the video said they wouldn't date a virgin. They said they prefer someone experience, and this makes me scared. People on reddit said being inexperienced at 20 to 25 is a deal breaker to most women, and watching that street interviewer, it makes me feel they are right. The big question is that old video is accurate to real life?

Last week I met up with an old friend. We were kinda close in high school, but lost touch after that. He has been working as a janitor at a hospital after high school, and never went to university. I got a degree in industrial engineering. I learned that he makes almost twice as much as I.

To be clear, I am not saying he doesn't deserve it or that he should be making less because he's a janitor. Nothing like that. From what he told me, he works hard, and it is an essential job. But he also got lucky. He said he got the job because one of his relatives was a doctor and was good friends with the head of that hospital.

Me on the other hand. It took over two years to find a job. I was looking way before graduating. Even than I only got my job because I also got lucky. One of my mom's friends knew someone who owned a small business. So that's the reason I got the job. I have been working for almost 2 years, and I hate it. I work 50 to 60 hours a week with no overtime. Job is very stressful. I make like 60 percent more than the minimum wage of my country. It's not enough for me to live on my own. I have been looking for other jobs but they are not much better; every place asks for specific experience. And the pay isn't that much higher.

I know I shouldn't compare, but I can't help it. I studied hard in high school to get into a good university. I studied hard in university to get a good GPA and gain useful skills. My friend didn't care much about studying in high school. Got a janitorial job through family connections and now lives a good life. My work is causing me a lot of stress I am losing sleep. I live at home because I can't afford rent. I know his job is difficult too, but I would rather do that. More pay, better benefits, work hours are stable, job security (as long as you do it right), and he can leave his job when his shift ends I often have to take it home.

And again, I am not saying I should get paid more than him because I went to uni for engineering, and I know a lot of people struggle at the beginning of their careers, but still. I hate that the difference in our life quality is so wide.

I know job hopping is the best way to get your wage up but I need more experience to get out of entry-level positions. Even then, larger companies might not consider me because I don't have corporate experience.

I don't really know what advice I am looking for. This is more of a vent.

Your 1st thought

What?

I was never close with my father. I’ve seen him maybe 10 times my whole life and I’m in my mid-30’s. I haven’t seen him in 13 years since he told me he wanted nothing to do with me. Last Wednesday I got the call he’s on life support with cancer that spread to the brain and I’m next of kin to make the hospice decision. We took the ventilator out and within 2 days he was gone. This was all thrown on me out of the blue. I don’t know him at all really. I’m paying for his cremation and death certs. He has no will apparently, so by default the state will appoint me as the heir. I don’t want anything to do with his estate or money or anything associated with him. He NEVER wanted me to have a dime. My life is great without it and I don’t need anything of his because it doesn’t belong to me or else he would have stated that. I want out from under this. I’ve had zero guidance in this issue and I don’t want to make a mistake because there’s SO much involved and I don’t have the time to figure this out due to working 14 hours a day on top of it. Not asking for legal advice, per se. Im getting an estate attorney involved. I just want to know if there’s anyone that’s been through this and what the outcome was.

Although I have tried various ways to improve my life, the big changes have failed. 

Lately, I’ve focused on small habits such as drinking water upon waking up or taking a quick 5 minute walk outside, and strangely enough, these habits stick better than the bigger ones.  

This has made me think: what is a simple habit that has positively impacted your life? 

Chinese foot soaking…good feel for sleep quality.

Life is a sexualily transmitted diease

Life ends with death

Do you think that Racist People are Mentally ill?

i need genuine answer please.

“I think people forget how powerful simple words can be.

Sometimes one random sentence stays in your mind for years — either because it healed you or completely changed your perspective.

What’s that one sentence for you?”

Same as the head.

How do you deal with such situations?

I mean if it's necessary to spend those 100s of hours to achieve that goal then what about the many things you can do if you don't put those hours?

Finding and following focus and discipline breaks.

Honestly I’ve spent the last 2-3 years by myself for the most part and prefer to be alone now. In those 2-3 years I’d always call my family or friends but I noticed they never called me first. If they did it was rare and usually asked for some favor. So I basically decided to not call anyone for months and nobody texted me first with the exception of my best friend where we check in every once in a while would call me. But life feels lonely for the most part and I’ve grown to have comfort in that loneliness. I’ve since then gotten a better job, got my first house, and rarely interact with people outside of work.

Basically what I’m saying is focus on yourself instead of wasting time with people who don’t put in the effort who don’t even know you.

🙃

This mentality has stopped me from doing anything new in my life, especially when it comes to expressing myself. I don’t feel enough so I wait until I’m perfect to try things. Like an art, or with jobs, or with relationships. If everything’s been done what’s the point of expressing myself? I’m just going to be seen as another copy. If there’s someone better than me in dating, what’s the point of trying? I’ll never be picked. I’d love any advice I could get. Ithis thinking has stunted me for years.

Would love to know your guys perspective on this

So, I'll try to keep it short and understandable (by the way, sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes. English isn't my native language. Trying to improve :P)

I've been friends with someone (X) for about four years now. And these last two years have been... complicated.

But what prompted me to write this post and pushed me to my "limit," so to speak, is what happened today:

We were in class, watching a film that the teacher had put on so we would "pay attention" for a written assignment. And where I live, it's hot right now, so another friend (Y) had one of those water pistols and was shooting at me and my friend X, who were right in front of them.

I wasn't minding, since it wasn't much water and the heat was unbearable. However, X was pissed. They turned around and then they began a five-minute debate that can be summarized as:

X - Gimme the damn pistol

Y - Nop, it's mine

X - Idc, I'm telling you to give me

Y - Aint giving you

After insisting, Y didn't give in. Then, X turned to me (who was just quietly watching the movie) and said: "Give me your water bottle, I'm going to throw water on them". And then the same conversation repeated itself:

X - Gimme the bottle

Me - No, it's hell out there, ain't wasting my water for that

X - Just give me, this way they'll stop splashing water at us

Me - Nop.

So, after being contradicted and hearing "no" twice in a row from two different people, I imagine some primal instinct kicked in in X, and they simply dug their nails into my arm, with the goal of using brute force/pain to force me to do what they wanted. It didn't work, I just cursed at them with politically incorrect words and didn't look at them for the rest of the day. After lunch, they started acting as if nothing had happened and we were just fine as best friends.

The reason I'm telling and writing this is, am I being too sensitive for simply feeling offended/annoyed by this? I mean, it's not the first time they've done something like this to me or others. They punched a guy in the face for annoying them; they've punched a colleague in the stomach because he didn't do what they wanted; and the list goes on; And they all continued talking to them in less than a week later as if nothing had happened. So, am I the problem?

X is extremely immature and spoiled from my point of view. They can't hear "no" or be contradicted without physically or verbally attacking someone. And yet, nobody seems to really take that seriously besides me.

Note: This is not an attack on X. I tried my best to avoid mentioning people or situations directly. The main focus is on my position regarding these situations, and not on attacking anyone.

Hey guys so I have this friend and we’ve been friends for around 4 years now maybe. When we first started talking we became really close for 2 years then her energy suddenly changed, like long replies, dry texts, and stopped caring overall and I asked about it a few times and never got an answer so I stopped talking to her and we never talked again. A few months ago she reached out to me again and we got back to talking again, we hit it off pretty well then after a while she disappeared again and when I asked her about it she just said she’s sorry but never gave me a good excuse or reason.

Honestly at that point I like 99% gave up on this friendship especially now that I’m older I genuinely can’t take this weird behavior, we’re all adults and we know what we’re doing. That hurt me so much and I told myself I’m genuinely done with bothering and I stopped talking to her.

Then after a while we talked over something and hit it off again, this time better than ever before, talking daily, inside jokes, hanging out, etc. It stayed like that for over a month.

I want to add that it was almost always me texting her first during that time but she would reply fast and with energy and we’d have actual conversations and she would sometimes initiate plans and stuff to do.

However last week she once again decided to disappear, long reply times, dry ash replies, and all that. I texted her for 2 days and she just replied with that she’s busy.

I honestly don’t know what to do, I’m insanely hurt because of her and I miss her so so much and I don’t want to lose her and I don’t know what I should do.

Should I text and ask about or should I just genuinely give up this time, what do I do if she texts me again and what do I do if she doesn’t. I feel like my judgement is clouded right now and I could take advice from someone wiser than me in this situation.

Any advice would be appreciated.

this odd pattern keeps happening where around a year and a half into a job, things seem to shift and i end up getting fired. i know i’m smart and capable, but eventually it feels like someone decides they don’t like me and starts building a case against me. i also sometimes feel like there’s something off in the way i respond to people — conversations can suddenly go quiet or awkward, and i’m not always sure why. and now that i think about it, i’ve been fired from every job except one 😅

what is it? i think i’m generally kind, but i’m also pretty independent and not super emotionally invested in workplace relationships. i pick things up quickly, like to do good work, and then go live my life. i take good care of myself, dress well, and carry myself confidently, so i sometimes wonder if people interpret me differently than i intend. i typically don’t like to explain myself and prefer being alone a lot.

Because as we get closer to knowing we will get it, the excitement fades away and we start thinking about the next “big” thing.

Life has just felt so cobwebby so to speak, I wish knew how to describe it. It constantly feels like it's closingin and every time I make a move to right the situation the so to speak noose/web just seems to get tighter.