I would go traveling in different countries because I have not been anywhere outside of the U.S. I would like to travel more because it would be nice to experience new scenery, new nature, and new types of people. What about you?
I've been thinking about this for a while, and I'm genuinely curious to hear how other people see it.
I personally don't plan to have children, and one of the main reasons is that I find the decision to create a child inherently quite selfish.
The child doesn't choose to be born. We, as adults, make that decision for them. And when we decide to have a child, we also decide the circumstances into which they're going to be born: the country, economic situation, family environment, quality of life, education, stability, and so on.
But what is the motivation behind that decision? In many cases, isn't it ultimately about what we want? Companionship, love, a sense of purpose, the experience of being a parent, creating a family, leaving a legacy, or simply the biological desire to reproduce.
I've also seen situations where parents have children partly with the expectation that those children will support them later in life. Then, decades later, the child may feel obligated to move back home, sacrifice a career, relationship, or lifestyle, and spend years taking care of their aging parents.
That seems particularly strange to me because the child never agreed to that responsibility. They were brought into existence partly because the parents wanted something, and then they can end up carrying obligations that were effectively imposed on them from birth.
I understand the counterargument: parents can genuinely believe that they're giving their child a good life, and that the benefits of existence outweigh the risks and suffering that come with it. And obviously, many parents love their children deeply and make enormous sacrifices for them.
But I still struggle with the fundamental question:
If a person cannot consent to being born, and the decision to create them is ultimately made because the parents want something from parenthood, can having children ever really be considered an unselfish act?
I'm not saying that people who have children are bad people. I'm interested in whether the decision itself is inherently self-interested, and whether that necessarily makes it selfish in a morally problematic sense.
I'd be interested in hearing both sides, particularly from parents and people who deliberately chose not to have children.
What am I missing in this line of thinking?
I'm 34
Lost both parents before 40
Mom at 15 dad 3 years ago
Have had 22 surgerys
Was severely bullied in middle school
My sister died 2 years before i was born
Gets so hard to keep going sometimes but I do
Idk why tho
Im 18 rn im really high and im lost i have no idea what to do im nothing academically good and i wanna be comfortable in life and have no clue how to get there anyone got any ideas?
I used to be someone with a strong vision on how to live my life. I was an intelligent kid, and developed a strong interest in programming. And before I know, I already had goals and a vision of life. A high-earning, lavish living professional is what I wanted to be. Or maybe even an entrepreneur. I was already innovative, and building some games and software.
And I could imagine myself living among other successful people, partying with them, living and extravagant life full of status symbols.
And all of a sudden, about 4 months ago everything stopped making sense. I started hating this life. All the lavish places around me started feeling like a trap. Especially now when I am getting to know how much the mafia holds your city's economy, how many lavish places have been built by corrupt people to launder their money. Nothing is authentic.
All of a sudden, I have lost my vision on how to live life. And I feel too damn lost and I don't know what to do in life, where to go.
Has it happened to anyone else over here, or someone you know? What can help us in getting to a better place in life?
On the apps everyone just wants to crack. If i happen to meet someone it has to be out and about. If i dont find him then oh well i will never experience romance
The thought of escaping everything and restarting comes to mind recently. In a time where I should be grateful that I have shelter, transportation, friends and even a relationship.
It’s tough feeling like this life is just survival.
Whether it be in friendships, romantic relationships, etc… have any of you ever felt like you were easily discarded, or never being the person that people fight for/don’t wanna lose? How do you not let that affect you?
I am 53, I thought I had it all together in a way, you do once you get over a certain age, everything will work out, I still kind of think that tbh, but there are some set backs due to ageism - how do you deal with that?
I have been with my husband for 10 years and married for 7. He is a different person from when we first met and not in a small way but in big ways. His values, morals etc all seem to have shifted. I’m conflicted because I see him as the man I met but don’t feel he is that person anymore and I think I ignore it because I’m stuck in the past and who he was and not who he is. I find we are fighting a lot more as well now. Is it possible for someone to do a complete 180 on who they once were?
I don’t really know what to do with my life. About a year ago, I dropped out of college because I hated the idea of graduating, and then working constantly 9-5 for the majority of my life. The whole idea feels like a scam. Offering up so much of my life just to pay the bills and get nice things (maybe) just doesn’t seem worth it. Sometimes I wish I hadn’t dropped out, most times actually. Even if I didn’t though, I think I’d feel the same. It makes me angry at myself because it was genuinely an amazing opportunity that’s now gone, or isn’t quite what it was anymore. It feels stupid to complain or feel bad about it because it was essentially handed to me. I dropped out originally with the intention of entrepreneurship, but I never really did it. I don’t know why. After months of inactivity I came to the conclusion that I just didn’t want it enough. I feel like such a loser for saying this, but I wish life was more like an action show or something. I just hate how things are.
Edit: I guess I should clarify a little bit. I have no idea how I want to make a living. But the question I’ve been asking myself and am trying to ask y’all now is, is it even worth it? Is there some sort of greater satisfaction down the road? What makes it worthwhile to y’all?
Quick recap: in the Navy, on deployment, work closely together. She was engaged to someone until about two months ago. We've gotten closer and closer over that time. I've started to have a crush on her despite my better judgment.
Anyway. Shortly after I made my previous post, she very suddenly pulled away. She wasn't talking much, was kind of ignoring me, every time I sat with her during meals she said she didn't feel like talking. I took a hint and figured she needed space, or she had figured out how I felt and was trying to establish boundaries. Either way, I backed off for a bit.
Then last week she suddenly started talking to me again. A lot. Our schedules have also shifted so we get to see each other a lot now, at least for a while. We've been having little back and forth things. She's getting back into her old playful banter with me, but it feels a little different now. She's not (and this is gonna sound bad) as physically or verbally violent with me. She might hit a coworker playfully if they tease her too much, or push her buttons. She's never done that with me, and actually apologizes whenever she accidentally touches me (which happens a lot). She knows I'm uncomfortable with touch so that's not surprising.
I also don't push her buttons as much. Others tend to tease her about her eating habits, call her fat, or call her mean, or crazy, or stubborn. She may snack a lot, but that's because she misses meals a lot of the time. I've always facilitated her snacking, and encouraged her to eat more.
I left her some food in her drawer, like I used to before I backed off. Nothing crazy, just a protein bar and an energy drink. The next day I found her headband folded up in my drawer. A few days later I left more, with a little note teasing her about missing meals again. She was mid conversation with someone and let out a little yelp when she saw the note, which was kind of hilarious.
We've been talking more about each other's pasts, and she's been digging hard into my past, my experience, what I believe. She never lets me escape without telling her more about myself. She'll even keep asking me if I get cut off by someone else, or redirect back to my past if someone else chimes in.
We were talking about exes and such as a group, and I brought up my ex in college. I'd accidentally made it sound as if I was currently dating someone, and she looked up with this shocked "what?" Then relaxed when I said it was back in college.
But something happened yesterday that turned this from a crush into something I don't think I'll easily move on from.
I got a delayed text from my parents saying that they'd had to put my cat down. I was devastated, and could barely hold myself together. I got back to the workcenter and she asked if I was okay. I couldn't play tough, so I shook my head. She took me outside into the hall where we could have privacy. I showed her the text. I couldn't stop, started to cry. She asked if she could hug me, and I let her.
I hate being touched. It's always made me uncomfortable. She knew that. I let her anyway. It wasn't long, couldn't be, anybody could walk by. She helped put me back together, didn't make fun of me or make my emotions feel less. She didn't tell me to man up, or that others had it worse, or that she was going through a bad time too. She was just there for me. Her eyes were full of tears.
I know it doesn't mean anything, she's a really kind person (despite what our other coworkers say), and I know she'd do the same for anyone. But God, I'm falling for her. She's still dealing with getting over her ex, and we're still trapped on this damn ship, and we still work together. I know i can't say anything to her about it. Not yet, maybe not ever.
So, I’ve been manifesting a lot of things into my life for a long time. And I finally figured out that this paradox is actually the realist thing in the world!
So here’s the paradox
Whenever I really wanted something - that’s when it would never come.
Whenever I didn’t care if I got it or not - that’s when I got it without effort!!
So, I eventually realized that the feeling of wanting is a feeling of lack and that energy within you actually pushes what you want further away from you.
SO NOW, I only focus on feeling like I already have everything! I give thanks knowing that the only things I will get in this life is not my manifestations, BUT things that are even better than what I would want! Things I’m not even thinking about, but that would be amazing to have!
And now after working on shifting my mindset (takes a lot of effort but worth it) I’ve seen so many great things come into my life… but even better than manifesting things, life feels so great! It’s great loving the moment you’re in instead of trying to be somewhere else.
If you want a great life, remember this… life gives you who you are NOT what you want. Once you stop wanting things and focus on being instead, is when you actually start getting so many more things! (While actually enjoying the journey!)
That’s the paradox…. Now you know ❤️🙏
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Some days you get things done.
Some days you don't do much at all.
And honestly… that's okay.
You can eat something good, listen to your favourite song, laugh at something completely stupid, talk to someone you love, and just enjoy the day.
Not every day needs to be productive.
Not every day needs a goal.
Sometimes a good day is simply a day where you felt happy for no particular reason.
And I think that's enough.
I finally had a kid and feel forced into this lifestyle that absolutely sucks.
Every moment of every day is accounted for. Running around like a chicken with my head cut off (I have a 5 month old) except for the 1 or 2 episodes of whatever I get to watch at the end of the night. Sometimes even that is disrupted.
I felt like a slave to society before this but now I just feel like a literal slave. Cheers to parenthood.
I’ve always had little events happen that made me think holy cow!
I’ve lost many pets and thought my world was ending. I’ve lost a lot of family members and didn’t know what to do.
Then something changed.
When I was 18, I was watching a movie with my now fiance. I got a sudden pounding headache, convinced myself it was a migraine. Then I started projectile vomiting, and my fiance carried me to the car to bring me to the ER. I had a brain bleed. 6 years later we still don’t know the cause.
I was just about to go to boot camp. I got medically discharged. I was going to take over my grandmas cafe. I now hate working there.
A few years later, my fiance comes into our room and just breaks down. He was finally able to muster the words. “My mom has cancer.”
She died 14 months after the diagnosis.
Life was starting to feel somewhat normal again. Then we found out his dad had cancer. He passed away 5 months later.
A month after his dad passed I found out I was pregnant!
We were over the moon excited!
Pregnancy and labor went well. My child is healthy and beautiful.
My fiance calls me everyday on his way home from work. I get so beyond excited for that phone call. I love talking to him, and it’s reassurance that he didn’t die.
He works a dangerous job, so I get very anxious when he’s working.
Today he calls me, earlier than usual. I figured he was on a break.
Nope.
“Meet me at the hospital.” Is all he said. So I rushed to area where he was working not knowing which hospital or what had happened.
His boss called me, told me which hospital, and what had happened.
One of the saws kicked back and cut his face.
We got home an hour ago, and I am so grateful he is alive. I am so grateful he didn’t lose his eye. I am so grateful my child didn’t lose their father. I am so grateful he got lucky with only stitches, and severe bruising.
He has to see a plastic surgeon for his eye. The hospital he went to isn’t equipped for his injuries. But he came home tonight, part of his face has stitches, the other is bandaged up until we see the surgeon.
Anyway my point of all of this, enjoy the boring moments of life. Enjoy the little things. Life is short, do what makes you happy!
Update: I have 3 dogs, one of them three up in the kitchen, not sure which one. They have worms of some sort.. yay! 🙄
I saw a dog stretching itself so perfectly that for a moment I thought, “Bro, was that an asana?” 😂
Lol, Dogs actually maintain their flexibility so well.
And when they have indigestion, they sometimes go and eat some grass or green leaves.
Nobody taught them.
No YouTube video.
No fitness coach.
No nutritionist.
No Insta reels telling them, “3 tips to maintain a healthy body.” 😂
Not just dogs. Every creature seems to have this basic life sense.
What to eat.
What not to eat.
When to eat.
When to fast.
And here we humans relying on internet for basic things.
We need a doctor to tell us when to eat, what to eat, how much to sleep, how much to exercise and when to stop eating. 😂
Maybe the problem is not that we don't have life sense.
Maybe we have too much mind and too little listening.
The body has been giving us signals all along. We just became too busy thinking to notice them.
I feel this is what is bringing so much ill health to us. If only we started listening to what the body has to say, we could avoid so many chronic ailments.
This is something yoga and meditation definitely brought into my life.
I have this deep sadness that I have carried since I was a little girl, and for some reason that feeling seems to be stronger on my birthday.
i live in a place where the weather is always nice, with occasional rainstorms. I'm making $130,000 before tax through my remote job, and I'm voluntarily homeless
i sleep outside by the ocean every night with my jacket, sweats, and pillow. I have all my personal belongings in a storage unit that I pay $218 per month for. I have multiple gym memberships that serve different purposes, and my surfboards, which l use to surf every day. I've never felt more free in my entire life. I have portable stoves that allow me to cook my food
i still have my health insurance, phone bill, etc that I pay for. I've been investing 85% of my income, and so far it's working out for me
at this point I don’t even care about having an apartment anymore
... Struggling, learning, continuing