20 and ridiculously lost
I don’t really know what to do with my life. About a year ago, I dropped out of college because I hated the idea of graduating, and then working constantly 9-5 for the majority of my life. The whole idea feels like a scam. Offering up so much of my life just to pay the bills and get nice things (maybe) just doesn’t seem worth it. Sometimes I wish I hadn’t dropped out, most times actually. Even if I didn’t though, I think I’d feel the same. It makes me angry at myself because it was genuinely an amazing opportunity that’s now gone, or isn’t quite what it was anymore. It feels stupid to complain or feel bad about it because it was essentially handed to me. I dropped out originally with the intention of entrepreneurship, but I never really did it. I don’t know why. After months of inactivity I came to the conclusion that I just didn’t want it enough. I feel like such a loser for saying this, but I wish life was more like an action show or something. I just hate how things are.
Edit: I guess I should clarify a little bit. I have no idea how I want to make a living. But the question I’ve been asking myself and am trying to ask y’all now is, is it even worth it? Is there some sort of greater satisfaction down the road? What makes it worthwhile to y’all?