u/Bubbles2590

My boyfriend’s stepfather passed away four years ago. His mother always had a soft life when she was married to him, she did not have to work and they traveled often. He was 20+ years older than her. She has no life skills, and she overly depends on my boyfriend to help manage to household tasks and finances. Her husband left them a sizable inheritance, so money isn’t the issue. She just doesn’t know how to be independent. I, on the other hand, have a completely different life. I have a career I am self sustainable. My partner and I live together, we have been a couple for almost 2 years. Everything was OK until he moved out of her house and we got our own place. She calls all the time, everything is always going wrong. He has to go to her house four times a week handling something. He is extremely close to his family, I on the other hand have an estranged family. Every holiday is planned around family, and I’m honestly tired of feeling like our life is essentially centered around his family. Wouldn’t mind spending time with his family if they were people I enjoyed being around. Most of his family essentially depends on him in some way or another, and none of them have anything going for themselves. He is the only one who has a promising future. His family is full of women who don’t have a man, so being with their family is their only outlet. Everyone seems to be pulling at him to spend time with them. He tells me he feels stressed, because he feels like he has to choose between his mother and me. He is trying to run his own company, take care of her, and her household needs, while also trying to be present in our relationship. Our sex life is suffering because of all the things that are going on. I just am so turned off by his relationship with his mother. I love him dearly, but I’m not happy with how things are going, and I don’t know how much longer I can take if things don’t change. Is there anything that could possibly be done, or is this just a loss cause? His mother is young, she is close to 50 years old. She had him young.

I feel that I enter social situations analyzing if I can trust the person often. Even in established or developing relationships, I tend to always have my eyes peeled, never fully trusting or feeling safe. I’ve been burned by ppl in my past, mostly from platonic bonds. I think I know how to “read the room”, I pick up on things more than the average person. I tend to pick up on non verbal cues pretty well. However, due to my past experience and level of discernment, I fear that I can’t fully exhale in interpersonal relationships. It’s almost like I’m always holding my breath. Waiting for someone to show me a sign that they aren’t a safe space, or that my suspicious feeling was right all along.

I have one best friend in my life. She is my platonic soulmate. She is such a genuine individual. I have yet to meet anyone like her. I would love to develop other relationships and be more social.. but I don’t find many ppl I feel genuinely safe with. I want to improve my social life and develop more bonds with ppl, as well as making socializing a bit more light, but I want to ensure that I doing so carefully & not just befriending anyone just to say I have people. I am 27F for those who need context.

As a highly sensitive person, I feel that I enter social situations analyzing and determining if I can trust the person. Even in established or developing relationships, I tend to always have my eyes peeled, never fully trusting or feeling safe. I’ve been burned by ppl in my past, platonically and romantically but most of my pain has stemmed from platonic relationships. I think I know how to “read the room”, I pick up on things more than the average person. However, due to my trauma and level of discernment, I fear that I can’t fully ever breathe. It’s almost like I’m always holding my breath. Waiting for someone to show me a sign that they aren’t a safe space, or that my suspicious feeling was right all along.

I have one best friend in my life. She is my platonic soulmate. She is such a genuine individual. I have yet to meet anyone like her. I would love to develop other relationships and be more social.. but I don’t find many ppl I feel genuinely safe with. Does anyone else relate?

This is an update from my previous post. You can look at my previous for context on wtf I was going through over the past year & 1/2: https://www.reddit.com/r/motherinlawsfromhell/comments/1suikmk/aita_boyfriend_contemplating_moving_back_in_with/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1

I’ve been having dreams about him and I fighting and just an overall bad feeling for the past few weeks. Literally hours before I was in shower and asked God for a sign what to do. He gave me his phone to order food and I just had this feeling telling me to go through his phone. I go straight to his text thread with his mom, and boy did my heart fall to my ass. I see her acting like a toddler when he doesn’t respond. I see that his mom is suggesting him to talk to this girl from her church, make sure next time he sees the girl to kiss her on her neck. And then he essentially agrees and says “Okay I will”. Apparently this girl has been to his mom’s house. I also saw he was DMing his ex a few months ago, nothing sexual in nature but the fact we’re talking speaks volumes. When I confronted him it seemed like he didn’t even care that he broke my trust. I had tears pouring down my face and everything. I stormed out the apartment and drove a few hours to my grandmothers house. I don’t know what is worse, the betrayal from his mom or him. This is the same man that said a week ago that all his mom wants is for me to be her daughter and build a bond with me. He told me that he has stuck to her regarding me, and at this point, I don’t even believe that. This whole time, she’s trying to get him to cheat on me and he’s essentially going for it. Oh my God.

Oh how I feel so betrayed. My heart is broken. Or lease ends in July so I guess this is Gods way of telling me to get my ass on. I am just SO hurt. My job is near his moms so I gotta figure out something new. I don’t want to be up near him because I have no one else up there. Guys just please give me any words of strength to get through this kind of betrayal.

You can look at my previous posts for context of wtf I was going through over the past year & 1/2: https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/1sov8ui/boyfriend_is_thinking_about_moving_back_in_with/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1

I’ve been having dreams about him and I fighting and just an overall bad feeling for the past few weeks. Literally hours before I was in shower and asked God for a sign what to do. He gave me his phone to order food and I just had this feeling telling me to go through his phone. I go straight to his text thread with his mom, and boy did my heart fall to my ass. I see her acting like a toddler when he doesn’t respond. I see that his mom is suggesting him to talk to this girl from her church, make sure next time he sees the girl to kiss her on her neck. And then he essentially agrees and says “Okay I will”. Apparently this girl has been to his mom’s house. I also saw he was DMing his ex a few months ago, nothing sexual in nature but the fact we’re talking speaks volumes. When I confronted him it seemed like he didn’t even care that he broke my trust. I had tears pouring down my face and everything. I stormed out the apartment and drove a few hours to my grandmom house. I don’t know what is worse, the betrayal from his mom or him. This is the same man that said a week ago that all his mom wants is for me to be her daughter and build a bond with me. He told me that he has stuck to her regarding me, and at this point, I don’t even believe that. This whole time, she’s trying to get him to cheat on me and he’s essentially going for it. Oh my God.

Oh how I feel so betrayed. My heart is broken. Or lease ends in July so I guess this is Gods way of telling me to get my ass on. I am just SO hurt. My job is near his moms so I gotta figure out something new. I don’t want to be up near him because I have no one else up there. Guys just please give me any words of strength to get through this kind of betrayal.