r/amiwrong

>I (30M) cook high-quality meals for myself. A coworker (25F) constantly "forgets" her lunch or budget. On Monday, she eyed my steak and asked for "just a bite." I gave her some. On Tuesday, same thing, she asked to try my pasta. By Thursday, she literally sat next to me with an empty fork waiting. I flat out told her, "No, I pack exactly enough calories for my fitness goals, please stop asking." She started crying, called me selfish, and now HR wants to have a "chat about workplace culture and team synergy." Am I losing my mind or AIW?

I came to Germany from Ukraine in 2024 and now work mornings at a small bakery while taking German classes. My German is not perfect, but I can do my job and most customers are patient when I need them to repeat something.

One regular customer, probaly in his 50s, has made comments for months. At first it was little things, like asking why I was still here or saying refugees get “special treatment.” I usually ignored him because I didnt want trouble.

Last week he heard me laughing with another Ukrainian customer and told us we should speak German in public because “people are tired of hearing refugee languages.” I said we were having a private conversation. He replied that refugees were getting too comfortable and should remember we were guests.

I felt my face get hot. I put his bread on the counter and told him I would not serve him anymore. He said I was proving his point and demanded someone else help him. My coworker did, but later told me I had made the situation worse because he was clearly trying to provoke me.

The bakery owner has not punished me, but asked me to stay professional if he comes back. The man returned yesterday and stood in my line on purpose. I stepped away and asked my coworker to take over. Now some people at work think I am letting one rude man control me, while others say refusing him is the only boundary he understands.

Am I wrong for refusing to serve him when he has never threatened me, only insulted me?

I'm (28M) worked very hard for years in low paying entry level roles while studying for my certifications. Six months ago, I finally landed a big job at a tech firm with a salary that is triple what I used to make. I am finally able to save for a house and help my parents with their medical bills, which has always been my goal.
However, word about my new salary traveled fast through my extended family.
Last week, my aunt and uncle came to my house. They didn't even ask how I was doing. They immediately started talking about how their two children (my cousins, 18M and 20F) are struggling with their university tuition and lifestyle expenses.
They told me that since I am now rich and I don't have a wife or children yet, I should take over paying the tuition for both of my cousins. They said it is my responsibility. now that I have made it all because they help my father through school.
even had a breakdown of the costs ready to show me. It would take away almost 40% of my take home pay every month.
I told them no. I explained that I have only been at this job for six months. I am still building my own security, and I am already committed to helping my parents. I told them that my cousins can get part time jobs, just like I did when I was in school My aunt was not happy with me and said I have become arrogant and selfish because of money.
My uncle told me that I am turning my back on the people who cheered for me.
my mom is caught in the middle and is asking if I can at least pay for one of them to keep the peace.
I feel like I am being treated as a lottery ticket rather than a family member. I worked for this money, and I don't think I should have to fund my cousins' entire lives just because I finally have a good job.

Any advice on what to do please and AIW?

I (22F) went out to dinner with a few of my girlfriends this weekend. We've all known each other for a while, and we usually joke around with each other, so I'm not someone who gets offended easily.

The night started out fine, but somehow I became the target of every joke. It started with comments about me being single, then it turned into jokes about my appearance, my job, and even how "boring" my life is because I don't go out partying every weekend.

I laughed along at first because I didn't want to kill the mood, but after a while it honestly stopped being funny. Every time the conversation moved on, someone would bring it right back to making another joke about me.

At one point I said something like, "Okay, I think I've been roasted enough for one night," hoping they'd take the hint. Instead, one of them laughed and said, "Girl, you're so sensitive," and everyone else just kept laughing.

I suddenly felt really embarrassed. I finished my meal, paid for my part, told them I wasn't feeling well, and left.

Later that night, a couple of them texted me asking why I left so abruptly. I told them I didn't enjoy spending the entire evening being everyone's entertainment. Their response was basically that I was overreacting, that they were "just joking," and that I made things awkward by leaving.

Now I'm wondering if I should've just laughed it off and stayed. I know friends tease each other, but I also feel like there's a difference between joking with someone and constantly making them the punchline.

Am I wrong for leaving?

Original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/amiwrong/s/PGeM6vLUnn

I read a lot of the comments, and decided on asking what the doctor's wife thought about all this because if she wasnt bothered maybe we should take that into account too.

I didnt want to ask my daughter because i knew it would just start another fight. i ended up remembering the hospital had posted pictures from one of their charity events a while back where employees brought their families. i found the doctor's wife's name from that and after a little searching found a phone number connected to their family business.

I know some people are probably going to think that was weird but i wasnt calling to accuse anybody of anything. i just wanted another perspective before this got any worse at home. she was honestly incredibly nice.

She knew exactly who my daughter was right away and didnt sound surprised i was calling. she actually said she understood why my husband was uncomfortable because from the outside she could see why people might question it.

She spent a long time reassuring me there was absolutely nothing romantic going on between my daughter and her husband. she said he has always looked at my daughter almost like a younger sister because she reminds him so much of his actual sister that he hasnt spoken to in years. apparently they have a lot of the same personality, and sense of humor.

She also told me she likes my daughter a lot herself. she said every time they have met she has come away thinking she is one of the sweetest people she knows. apparently at the hospital my daughter spent most of the afternoon keeping one of the patients little boys entertained because he was overwhelmed and wouldnt leave her side and the wife thought it was incredibly kind of her once she heard of it. she said things like that are why both of them have gotten attached to her and why they both look out for her.

She even joked that if my daughter hadnt already been on her way to my moms house when the car broke down then they probably would have stolen her for the day themselves, gotten her something to eat, made sure somebody looked at the car and sent her home later because thats just what they like doing for her.

She also said she wasnt bothered if my daughter happened to have a little crush on her husband because she trusts him completely and knows he would never encourage something like that or betray their marriage.

After thinking about it i asked if the doctor and his wife would want to come over for dinner one night and they both agreed.

Dinner actually went really well. The doctor mostly talked with my daughter about work while my husband ended up talking to him about stuff like fantasy football and music for a good part of the evening. his wife was very easy to talk to and she fit right in.

My husband admitted afterward that seeing them together helped. he still wishes our daughter had called family first when her car broke down instead of her boss and i agree with him on that part. our daughter even admitted she probably should have called us first now.

So things are definitely calmer now. my husband still isnt completely comfortable with how close they are, but he isnt convinced anymore that something inappropriate is happening. Im just glad everyone is talking again instead of arguing every night.

my grandma died 6 months ago. left me her house. not my sister. just me.

my mom says it's because i was the one who visited. i drove 3 hours every weekend for 2 years while my sister "couldn't find the time." i bathed her. fed her. sat with her while she forgot who i was. my sister came twice. both times she complained about the smell and left early.

the house is paid off. worth about 400k. i'm living in it now. fixing it up.

my sister found out and flipped. said it's "unfair." said grandma "obviously wasn't in her right mind" when she wrote the will. said i "manipulated" her. she got our aunt involved. now there's a family group text where i'm the greedy bitch who stole from her own sister.

i offered to let her move into the spare room while she saves for her own place. she said that's "condescending." then i offered her 50k straight up when the house is sold. just... here, take this, be done with it.

she said half or nothing. she wants 200k or she's "pursuing legal action."

i spent 2 years of my life caring for someone who didn't remember my name. my sister spent 4 hours total and wants half.

AITW for keeping the house? for not selling? for telling her to get a lawyer?

Am I in the wrong?
Back in middle school, there was a guy whose behavior genuinely scared a lot of people. I saw him repeatedly hurt himself in class, including cutting himself until he bled, and there was also an incident where he reportedly tried to crash his truck into a tree. Because of those experiences, I told his ex-girlfriend that I thought he was mentally messed up.
She told him what I said, and instead of talking to me himself, he logged into her account and messaged me from it. He told me he was going to get me killed or seriously hurt because he has girls who would do it for him.
I know I probably shouldn’t have called him mentally messed up, and I can admit that. But does that justify threatening my life? What would you do in my situation?

Also, I may add that a part of me wants to get a bunch of people just to go beat his fucking ass because what the fuck. I’m not the type of person who scared or scary or to run away, but a man is threatening to fucking kill me..

I've (28F) been with my boyfriend (30M) for 3 years. We're talking about getting engaged next year. He's perfect, kind, funny, ambitious, treats me like gold.

But there's Emily.

Emily is his coworker. They've worked together for 4 years, which is longer than we've been dating. He talks about her constantly. "Emily said this," "Emily did that," "Emily's so funny." I met her once at a work event and she was... fine? Polite but distant with me. Couldn't stop touching his arm when she talked to him though.
I didn't think much of it until I found out they have a "weekly tradition" where they get drinks just the two of them after work every Thursday. He says it's "decompressing about work" and I'm "welcome to join anytime." I went once. They spent the whole time inside-joking about people I didn't know and she kept "accidentally" ordering his favorite beer for him before he could ask.

Then I found the Instagram DMs. Not cheating, just... constant. Morning memes. Inside jokes. "Thinking of you" when something stressful happened at work. A selfie she sent from her vacation with the caption "wish you were here". He replied "next time 😉."

I told him I don't feel comfortable with this level of intimacy with another woman, especially one he's physically attracted to (he admitted once, early in our relationship, that he thought she was "cute" before we got together). I said I'm not giving ultimatums about engagement, but I need to see real boundaries with Emily or I can't move forward.

He lost it. Said I'm insecure and controlling. Said she's his closest friend and he'd be miserable without her. Said if I trusted him, none of this would matter. Then he said the thing that's been haunting me: "You're asking me to choose between my best friend and my girlfriend. That's not fair."

He's right. It isn't fair. But I also can't shake the feeling that "work wife" stopped being a joke a long time ago and became something neither of them will name.
I didn't ask him to cut her off completely. I asked for transparency, group hangs instead of one-on-one drinks, less daily DMing, telling me when they talk instead of me finding out. He says even that's "policing his friendships."

So I told him: I'm not walking down the aisle wondering if I'm the second choice in my own marriage. He can have boundaries with Emily, or he can have me, but he can't have both and pretend that's healthy.
He called his mom. She texted me that I'm "destroying a good man over female jealousy."

Now he's staying at Emily's place "to clear his head."

AITW?

Ok So i was friends with a girl I met on Tumblr.. We had just messaged on Whatsapp for like two years? She told me she had no friends and ALL her friends left her. I have online friends ... but my controversial opinion (i guess?) is that friendship needs presence. You need to spend time together irl.. Hear the sound of their voice and have moments together in person.. I am not such a fan of online friendships... i see it as meeting people that i would otherwise never meet irl and talking about silly stuff.. I care for them but its not like undying loyalty or anything. I do not know what these people are like, irl. I posted a gym picture of me, and she said, "i see no abs yet, LOL" and i said it was rude, and she said, "I was just being funny." i sent a video of myself and said I looked fat in it, and she said, "Yes, but still so pretty<33" I said i wanted to watch wuthering heights, and she said "it's too sexy for you" I said I was suicidal and at times she would support me and said she even cried for me…yet once she said "ok i will miss you" it just rubbed me the wrong way. I decided to end the friendship after she told me something a bit odd (she's schizophrenic she is medicated and told me this one celeb wrote a song about her). I didn't know how to respond, so i just said i wanted a break... she then blocked me on Tumblr and seemed furious.. i felt guilty, so i went back to her and asked for forgiveness. She then later said the wuthering height comment and i decided to block her.. She made a new Tumblr demanding I owe her an explanation and saying i was acting like a child and how could I do this to her if she knew the trauma her friends caused her. She also demanded i unblock her and that she needed to keep in contact with me because one day she would give me money. I've never spent a day with her in my life and most likely would have never met her irl ever. Am i in the wrong? I'm also very mentally ill (depression, had anorexia in the past, i live with abusive parents and i am couch-ridden, and she knew that). I just blocked her not to hurt her but to stop having more unnecessary suffering in my life.

This was on the 4th of July.

So I was having a really good Fourth of July when a women and her son who was maybe 4/5 years old got in my car. It was a normal ride but then suddenly I smelt something really out of the ordinary. It had turned out that her son pooped in his pullup. I didn’t really realize what happened at first but then I heard her say something about it. She didn’t really apologize but more so laughed it off and acted like it was funny. She asked if I could pull over which annoyed me more because now I’m just losing out on potential money. She said she has to deal with it and I said “this better be quick” which really upset her. She was saying he didn’t mean to do this and everything and I pointed out that it’s clear he shouldn’t have even earned pull-ups if this is what he was doing in them and that he should still be in diapers. I also want to say the kid wasn’t autistic or had anything wrong with him and got upset when I mentioned he should be back in diapers.
That entire thing took 5 minutes or so and then when I dropped her off and drove away I looked back and she LEFT THE PULLUP IN MY CAR. Just a bright blue loaded bomb sitting in my back seat. I was beyond furious and called uber and submitted every report I could.
The entire thing took 30 minutes or so and looking back I probably missed out on some good money because of my reaction. It just crossed the line numerous times in my book and he should have never done that and she should have been really apologetic and waited to change the brat. I understand I could have handled it better but was I the asshole here?

Hi everyone, I 33F need to know if I’m being too sensitive here.

My friend “Kayla” invited me, my husband, and our two kids to her BBQ this weekend. I asked her twice if kids were ok because I know some people want adult only stuff and I’m fine with that. She said yes both times and said “bring them, it’s super chill.”

When we got there, it was very clearly not that kind of BBQ. People were already pretty drunk, the music was loud, and one guy kept vaping right next to where my kids were sitting. I moved them away and then he followed the group over and did it again. I asked him nicely if he could not do it right beside them.

He laughed and said “they’ll live.” Kayla heard and came over acting annoyed, saying I was making it awkward and that I should “relax for once.” My husband said we were just gonna go because the kids were uncomfortable. We said why we are leaving and we headed out.

Later Kayla texted me saying I embarrassed her in front of everyone and ruined the vibe. I told her I only left because I asked ahead of time and it ended up not being a good place for kids.

Now she’s telling our mutual friends that I made a whole scene and acted like her house was unsafe. I really don’t think I did anything wrong, but she’s been cold since.

Am I wrong for leaving?

So I 29F was talking to a guy internationally (I'm from the US and he's 28M from Ireland and we met on the beautiful internet) and he came on wayyyyyy too strong when we started talking. Physical talk, saying he wants to visit me, saying I deserve the best, making me feel special, wanting to give me reassurance, etc. I was honestly taken a back at first and told him to slow down, but I didn't cut him off because I understand a new connection is always exciting.

We would text mostly, send voice notes, and he just made me feel special. He "planned" on coming to visit at the end of August and I agreed to it. Anyways, we have kept talking and I noticed he pulled back a little. He told me he was hooking up with other girls but not taking them seriously. But, he would go into deep detail about it, which I don't understand why, but whatever... I didn't care because we weren't in a relationship and he can do whatever he wants. We still kept talking.

Problem is, the dynamic kinda switched up and I was the one now reaching out first and I kept asking for reassurance if he was coming here or not, since August isn't too far away. He didn't seem to mind, would give me clarity, and he was engaging.

We texted last night about if he booked a flight and hotel yet, and he said he will soon. I also asked if he wanted to video chat today and he said yes 5 pm my time/11 pm his time. I texted earlier today to confirm if he still wanted to talk, but no response. I then texted him at the time we were supposed to talk right when I got home and told him I will get settled and called him like we planned... HE THEN BLOCKS ME!!!!

I just don't understand why the harsh response? He could've just said no, that he didn't want to, that he was feeling overwhelmed, etc. Why the block? I mean did I do too much? Did I put too much pressure or overwhelm him? Did I do anything wrong? I could understand how it came across that way, but I just wanted clear communication. I don't understand. Like he said so many things that made me feel like he was truly interested and wanted me, so that's why I gave it a chance.

Also to note, I have talked to him on video before so he is not some sort of catfish.

going to keep this as vague as possible to limit any bias.

Person A starts a load of laundry in the washing machine. Person B goes to move it to the dryer partway through the day, notices that a pull up must've been in it, and that it had made a mess (pull up beads filled with water, not poopy or anything)

person B had toddler load the hamper and some of the pants had unsoiled pull-ups in them, later in the day person A ran a load of laundry and missed the pull up stuffed in the pants, person B noticed the first pull up and forgot they had toddler load the hamper so they forgot to check if another pull-up had been missed

Person B then finds the diaper, removes it, and goes to restart the wash. Later in the day, Person B asks Person A if they can go check the laundry and see if it got cleaned after the pull up was removed. Person A says that it didn't look clean, and ended up finding another diaper in the laundry.

Person A agrees to their fault in putting the pull-ups in the laundry in the first place since they started the load initially, but makes joke about Person B not checking to see if theres more pull-ups after finding one. this escalates into a fight. Person B doesn't understand why they should have assumed there was a second diaper after finding the first, and blames Person A entirely.

From an outside perspective, who do you believe is at fault here? A entirely for not seeing the pull-ups or both because B didn't check if toddler left more in ?

edited to add context (some thought we were throwing poopy diapers in hamper)

I'm living on my parents basement because I can't afford to move out at the moment. I work my 8h, pay my bills here and cooperate with the expenses, sometimes I pay everything out of my pocket because I want to do it, I do loundry, clean my stuff, make the food for the house sometimes.

Recently I purchased my pc for study and games, after 10y I finally purchased my pc by myself, while I'm not studing (which I'm paying by myself btw) I play videogames but I simply can't relax with my mother around, she just get upset about it for some reason, since I was young she just hates it. She purchased me an xbox 360 back then but she got upset every time I used that thing.

From my point of view I'm not doing something wrong, I'm being responsable I think but I get scolded just for playing, I want to ask for the non gamers and gamers with the same issue, is there something that you did to solve the issue? Solutions, Am I wrong? Maybe is my issue.

Edit: I'm 23

(29F) paid my sister's (26F) rent for a full year after she lost her job. $1,400/month. Never asked for a dime back. Sent groceries. Covered her phone bill. She called me her "savior."

She got a new job 4 months ago. Good salary. I told her last month I couldn't keep covering rent, I was draining my savings and needed to focus on buying a house.

She told our parents I "cut her off with no warning." Told our cousins I "used money to control her." Posted a TikTok about "toxic family who dangles help then rips it away." It has 200K views. My mom is calling me selfish. My aunt texted me that I "should've planned better if I was going to make promises."
I never promised forever. I promised a year. I gave her 14 months.

AITW for stopping? For being angry she smeared me? Or was I wrong to help at all?

I'm (26F) have been working as a junior accountant for two years. My elder brother James (31M) has always had trouble keeping a job. He usually works for a few months, gets bored or has a .disagreement with his boss, and quits For the last year, I have been helping him out. I started by paying his phone bill and occasionally giving him money for gas. I felt bad for him because he is my brother and I wanted him to get back on his feet. But because I was giving him money, he stopped looking for work. He spent most of his time hanging out with friends. Three months ago, I decided to stop. I told him that I need to save for my self and that I cannot be his permanent bank account. I gave him a one month warning to find a job The deadline passed, and I stopped sending the money. Now, James is furious.
He called me selfish He said that since I have a stable job and no kids, I have plenty of extra cash that I should be sharing with family My mom is also taking his side. She calls me every day to tell me that James is struggling and that as his sister, I should be more supportive. She says that because he is the only son, it is important for him to keep up his appearances and not be stressed about money. She even suggested that I should pay his rent for a few months so he can find something doing, i pointed out that I am five years younger than him and I have worked hard for everything I have. I told my mom that by giving him money, we are just helping him stay lazy. My mom got angry and said I don't understand family loyalty.
Some of our relatives are messaging me, saying I should just pay the bills to keep the peace in the family. I feel like I am being manipulated into being his parent. I love my brother, but I don't think I should have to fund his lifestyle while he refuses to work.
AIW?

So I was dating this man (I broke up with him about a month ago) for a bit and fell really deeply in love with him. He was perfect in almost every way, and I really enjoyed and cherished the time we spent together. He told me he has girl friends, which I don't really care about at all.

But then he hits me with this: "We travel and go on vacation together sometimes." I told him I don't care if he has friends who are girls, but going out and doing things alone with them, including things such as vacations, is not something I'm willing to accept with a man I have a relationship with.

He then freaks out and suggests I'm trying to control him, and that I don't trust him. I explained that I do trust him at the moment, but I don't trust women.
Later on, he texts me that he's in a full-blown anxiety crisis because I'm trying to control him like his ex-girlfriend. I explain I'm not trying to control him, and he has his own choices to make, but I can't accept him going on vacations with other women and stand firm on my boundaries. He then accuses me of crossing HIS boundaries.

Then he shifts to explaining that he sometimes goes to tech conferences with other women, a totally different story from what he explained earlier about going on vacations with another man's girlfriend ("and he's totally okay with it because they trust each other 100%"). Then he says they don't share a hotel or anything, they just meet up at conferences. This is different story because they apparently DID share the same hotel.

Am I wrong for thinking like this?

i found texts on my bf's phone. not snooping btw it literally lit up while he was in the shower, preview showed "can't wait to see you tonight" from a name i didn't recognize.

i looked. months of texts. "i miss your body." " he has no idea." hotel receipts. the works.

i screenshot everything. sent it to myself. confronted him.

he said i "violated his privacy." said the screenshots were "out of context." said i was "crazy and insecure." then he told our friends i "faked the whole thing" because i "couldn't handle that he was pulling away."
our friends believed him. i don't know why. maybe because he's charming. maybe because i was "always jealous" (i asked about a female coworker once. once.)

i posted the screenshots to our group chat. all of them. the "i miss your body" one. the hotel receipt. the "she has no idea."

he called me "unhinged." said i "aired dirty laundry." said i "ruined his reputation" and he's "considering legal action for defamation."

half our friends are on his side. half aren't talking to either of us. my mom said i "stooped to his level."

i just wanted someone to believe me. AITW for posting them? for looking at his phone? for not just walking away quietly?

I (22F) started working out with this guy (26M) from my gym about two months ago. We'd spot each other, grab smoothies after, normal stuff. Lately he's been texting me every night, sending "miss you" messages, acting like we're a thing. Last night he texted "wish you were here" and I finally said "we're not a couple." He went cold, said "didn't realize being nice was a crime," and now he's ignoring me at the gym. I have to see him almost daily and it's awkward as hell. Should I have just let it slide?

I (22F) found out my boyfriend (24M) has been looking at content of girls who look way younger than me. I met him at 18 through my older brother. He was my "safe place" when my home life fell apart. Now I see what this really was.

I'm not asking if I should go. I already packed a bag. I'm staying with a friend starting tomorrow. I just keep panicking that I wasted my teen years and I'm starting from nothing. Please just tell me I'm not ruined. That 22 is young enough to rebuild. That I didn't deserve this.