r/amiwrong

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About a year ago, I moved in with my best friend in the city where she lived, about two hours away from my hometown. I had just gone through a bad breakup, and she helped me through it. We became extremely close, almost like sisters.

Then, about four months before our lease ended, she told me she hadn't been giving the landlord the rent money I had been sending her every month. I had foolishly trusted her to pay it. Apparently, we had received an eviction notice, and the day she finally told me, we needed to come up with a little over $2,000 that same day. My other roommate ended up covering it and basically saved us. It wasn't just my rent money she had been keeping—it was his too.

After that, she started acting really strange. Every weekend for about a month, she would drive two hours to visit her family. During that time, I told her I wanted to forgive her and continue living together, but she said no. She told me we acted too much like siblings because of all the nagging and arguing. I was heartbroken. She also knew I couldn't afford rent on my own with the job I had, so I had to start looking for a backup plan.

She started avoiding me, and then she told me she was moving out that same month, even though she paid the rest of her portion of the lease. Later, I found out through mutual friends that she had been telling people she was moving because I was "too clingy" and "too much." When I confronted her about it, she didn't address those comments. Instead, she said her family was going through something, so I felt guilty for even asking and let it go. She moved out, and we haven't spoken since.

Now here's where I'm conflicted.

Months ago, I bought us tickets to see a band we both love—the band we actually became friends over. She paid for the hotel, and the concert is in three weeks. Since she moved out, we haven't talked at all.

Part of me doesn't want to go with her anymore after everything that happened, but I also feel bad canceling because we've had these plans for a long time. I'm also really anxious about having that conversation because it feels rude.

Am I wrong if I decided not to take her to the concert?

Am I wrong for taking 8 weeks parental leave at work for my first child?

Back in late 2025 I had told my job I was expecting my first child. We were expecting late spring/ early summer. Everyone in my department was happy and excited for me. I even invited a manager and two of my coworkers who I am close with to my baby shower.

I feel like 6 months gave them ample time to figure out everyone’s vacation. Well one of my close coworkers probably didn’t think that far ahead.
In my state they give us twelve weeks of parental leave. I’m able to use it before the child is one year old. I decided to take eight weeks now and save the rest for the following year for emergencies and for
long weekends.

Our baby arrived late spring. Before everyone’s
vacations.

While I was out on leave my other close coworker
had a medical emergency. He was already out for two weeks by the time I came back. That basically left only two people to do the job of four. Which was my manager and my other close coworker. Someone else started their vacation a couple days before I returned. There was also a one day mix up on when I had told my manager when I would return. But gave him a couple day heads up which was fine. Didn’t think anything of it.

On my first day back is when I heard from someone that my close coworker had a medical emergency. My manager and everyone outside of my department were happy I was back and congratulating me.

Now is when things get interesting. My close coworker who is still at work seems to be quiet towards me or just giving short answers avoiding eye contact. I ask him about our other close coworker who is out. All he says is “good”. In my head I feel like something is off with him but I don’t think anything of it.

Throughout the day he’s the same. I walk past him in the hall he’s conserved and not his normal self with me busting joke or horseplay.

A couple days go by he’s the same. Then he says he want to have a meeting with me and his kids who he brought to work that day. Meeting time came he never called me over from my desk. A couple hours later he walks to the calendar behind my desk and rudely says “I need this Saturday off I have something going on. You need to work it.” “I’ve worked the last three Saturdays. Including all of yours” in an aggressive tone like he’s been holding it in for weeks to tell me. Talking like he’s my manager.
“We’ve been short staffed” “You need to step up” “you owe me” “you ruined my summer”

I responded with “You’re talking like I’ve been on some vacation. I’m not saying no but I will get back to you”. Because at that time I didn’t know what I had on my calendar. Good thing I did because I remembered had my child’s two month check up for his first shots. I basically repeated what I said like two or three times. He was just rude and the bad energy wasn’t needed.

After that he became childish and hasn’t talked to me since. Friday before I went home for the weekend I talked to my manager saying “if you could when I’m on leave or vacation can you please let me know if shit hits the fan” “nobody told me he was out” He was shocked and thought I knew. so if I can possibly come back earlier I will to help out or take a Saturday shift. I mentioned that my coworker has been on my case about the Saturdays shifts. He said he would talk to him. I didn’t want him to but he did. Knowing him he holds grudges and won’t let this go.
My manager has been on vacation since. But will be back next week. Should my manager be responsible for over working him?

While I’m helping coworkers from a different department he’s told people not to talk to me like I’m some bad person or other rude comments like stay home. Just being a salty person. Did I mention he’s 40? Who has two kids. I’m almost in my mid 30’s.

I’ve mainly wrote this out to vent as I’ve had some sleepless nights while trying to take care of a newborn. It’s been on my mind a lot. You think he would understand since he’s raised two kids.

Ive been with the company for 10 years and I feel like this was the last thing to set me over and move on. But the only issue is I have 4 weeks left of parental leave I can’t transfer to a new job. Basically use it or
lose it.

Edit: Also I never asked him to take my Saturday shifts. He took it upon himself. Last thing that was on my mind. Should be the managers responsibility.
(Each of us does one Saturday a month)

My sister has a 6 year old son and I genuinely like spending time with him. For a while I was happy to babysit occasionally when she asked, especially if I didn't have anything planned.

The problem is that at some point "asking" turned into her telling other people I was available before she'd even spoken to me.

The first time she texted me something like "Mom is dropping him off at yours around 6, thanks!" because she'd made dinner plans. I was annoyed but free, so I let it go.

Then it happened again when she picked up an extra shift. The third time I already had plans and she got irritated because she'd apparently told her boss she could work based on me watching him.

Last week she did it again. I got a text saying my nephew would be dropped off Saturday morning because she and her boyfriend were going out for the day.

I replied that I wasn't available and reminded her that she needs to actually ask me first. She said they'd already bought tickets and asked what she was supposed to do now.

I told her she'd have to figure out childcare because I never agreed to anything. She eventually found someone else, but now she's really pissed and says I've become unreliable "out of nowhere."

My parents are taking her side too. They keep saying I love my nephew, she doesn't ask that often, and refusing when I technically could've changed my plans was just proving a point at his expense.

That's the part making me second guess myself. My nephew obviously has nothing to do with any of this and I don't want him feeling unwanted.

But I also feel like if I keep cancelling my own plans whenever my sister announces that I'm babysitting, she'll never have a reason to stop doing it.

I'd probably say yes most of the time if she just asked me like a normal person. I don't think being family means my free time automatically becomes available childcare, but everyone is acting like I'm being stubborn over something small.

Am I wrong for finally saying no?

So me (24M) and my girlfriend (23F) have been together for almost 2 years. I've known my friend Mark since college, we hang out pretty regularly, and he's always been around when my girlfriend and I do group stuff.

Last weekend we all went out for a friend's birthday. I stepped away to the bar for maybe 10 minutes, and when I came back I noticed Mark had his arm around the back of her chair, leaning in really close, laughing way harder than necessary at everything she said. When I sat back down he pulled away fast and got quiet.

Later that night I asked her about it and she said it was nothing and I was overreacting. The next day I texted Mark directly and told him it made me uncomfortable and to knock it off. He got defensive, said I was being paranoid and insecure, and that I was "ruining the friend group" by making it weird. A couple of our mutual friends have since said I overreacted and should've just let it go since nothing happened.

Now things are tense with Mark, my girlfriend thinks I embarrassed her, and I'm getting side-eyed by people in our group chat.

AIW for saying something instead of just letting it go?

Am I in the wrong for losing it on her?

Hello reddit 👋! I recently went through something that felt like a social experiment 🫩. And i would please like some insight to find out if i really was in the wrong, even though I don’t think I was. This probably sounds immature, but I really want some serious answers, please. 🙏😔

So I F14 had met this girl, let’s say Jessica F16 through a mutual friend. I found out from this mutual friend that Jessica used to like me *romantically* and watch me through the halls of school. I barely knew her at the time, so I couldn’t reciprocate.

When Jessica and I had started first talking, I thought she was super fun and a really good friend! Then, out of the blue, she started buying me a bunch of things that interested me. At one point she had spent like $150 - $200 on me! I was shocked, I had never asked for these things, let alone spend that much money on them?!

Randomly when Jessica came over, she became extremely touchy and overly clingy. I swear I couldn’t get her off of me the whole sleepover. She started getting possessive over what I do, who I hang out with, and who I am romantically interested in. Keep in mind, we had **never** dated. I strictly told her I’m not interested in dating her, and I wished to be her friend though!

As we became closer friends, Jessica and I would text a lot, she would spam me if I didn’t answer 😭. She then started to come up with rules that I had to talk to her with. Like I had to answer her questions in a certain way, I couldn’t say “sorry” I had to say “I am sorry”, and other phrases that weren’t okay, if I didn’t text her at certain times she would be upset, and if I didn’t use any emojis that meant I was upset. There were more rules, but those were the most alarming ones that stuck out to me.

As this “friendship” progressed, she started also talking shit about all of my very good friends. This p\*ssed me off to another level, but I decided to let it go in favor of keeping her at bay.

Jessica started using me as a therapist for her issues. The venting became so extreme to a point where I had no words. I couldn’t save her or diagnose her. I was literally *helpless*. This started affecting my mental health as well. I couldn’t go a day without hearing her issues or what’s wrong with her or her s\*lf h\*rm. I was quite literally a tool for her to vent and use as mental support, and it was **draining.**

After all of this had happened, I finally went to my older sister F16 about everything that was going on. She’s someone I can talk to and trust with my situations, so it felt right going to her. She told me this wasn’t healthy at all and that I needed to drop her or at **least** take a break. That night, Jessica called me telling me that my “dry texting” was affecting her mental health drastically and that it made her s\*icidal. I was so confused and taken aback because I’d been trying to follow her criteria she had for “friendship”. I’ve been told for years by all my family and friends that I’m a horrible texter and I always was. It was a joke that people would make about me and it was all in good laughs. I really didn’t know what to do in all honesty I just told her this and hung up. It was 1 am and i was just exhausted by this point.

Jessica spam called and texted me **at least** 30 - 40 times while i was asleep after that last call. The only reason i woke up was because it actually woke up my older sister and she was mad and confused as to why Jessica was doing this. For some reason, she started venting and crying to my older sister. She told my sister that she was shaking, crying, didn’t know what to do about me and our fight. Jessica told my sister she was **IN LOVE** with me and was waiting for me to love her back. (She bought the gifts for my love i guess??) I’m still shocked about this, because I **told** her that I wasn’t interested in dating her and wanted to be just friends. My sister told her that me and Jessica weren’t mature enough for a relationship, and that I wasn’t interested either way.

After that night, Jessica texted me saying she wanted to talk about what happened. She told me that she had spoken to my sister, and started arguing with me telling me I’m *childish* and *immature*. I will admit, this was why I wasn’t willing to get into a relationship in the first place. I’m 14 and not in the right mind space for a relationship yet. But even then, I still wouldn’t have dated her because I **wasn’t interested.** Jessica then told me I’m a b\*tch and she wants all of the stuff she bought me, back to her. I was more than willing to give her her things in a bag on the front porch.

This is where the **big fight** happens. Jessica told me I was the reason her mental health was draining and that I was so mean to her. That all I did was mistreat her and mentally abuse her. That was the straw that broke the camels back. I blew up telling her that she needs to stop blaming her mental health issues on me and piling it on to me. I told her that she’s the one who mistreated me and abused me by making me follow rules, pushing my boundaries by always touching me without asking, and never cared about how I felt and then continuing to blame everything wrong with her, on me. I said she’s toxic and cannot lead relationships OR friendships with this kind of “love”. I really think this was all because she found out I didn’t wanna date her in the end.

After the fight, Jessica texted me saying she was so sorry, she just wanted to be friends again and do matching Halloween costumes this year. By this time, I was fed up and done with her sh\*t. I couldn’t take it anymore. I needed to be done with this friendship because she was taking me down with her. I told Jessica I couldn’t do the friendship anymore and that it was too draining just **trying** to be her friend. I said her stuff would be on a bag on the porch waiting for her, and that we are genuinely done being friends. **No exceptions.**

To my dismay, Jessica still posts about things I like, and things I said I planned on getting, trying to make me jealous and try to go back to her. Which, haha, hasn’t worked. 💀

I’m sorry this post is so long, but I feel like you all needed full details to fully understand the story to make a decision. 💔

Sooo, am I in the wrong here????

My boyfriend and I have been together for eight years. We booked a vacation for the end of September, and when we booked it, the timing was fine. We were both looking forward to it.

Since then, I sold the house I currently live in, much faster than I expected, and that has completely changed the timeline of the next few weeks. I now have to move into my new apartment, get it ready, completely clear the house and get everything done for the handover, all while working full-time.

September only gives me four weekends. The vacation would take two of them, leaving me with only two weekends to actually clear the house and deal with the move.

I also already struggle with anxiety and panic attacks, and the combination of everything happening at once has pushed me way beyond my normal capacity. I'm simply at my limit.

So I told my boyfriend that I don't think I can do the vacation anymore.

It's important to me to clarify that the vacation itself isn't the problem. I'm sure it would be relaxing once we were there. The problem is that it creates a fixed deadline. I would have to get everything done before we leave, and I simply don't have enough time or capacity to do that anymore.

I suggested that we cancel or reschedule the vacation.

His immediate response was that he would fly anyway because otherwise he would lose the money.

I said that maybe we could reschedule it instead. The change would cost €80.

I told him that I was at my absolute limit and that I couldn't understand putting €80 above that.

He responded: "€80 is my limit."

That was the moment I ended the relationship.

I understand that losing money sucks. I understand that he was looking forward to the vacation. If he had said something like, "I'm really disappointed, I was looking forward to this, and losing €80 really sucks, but I understand that you're at your limit," I would have understood.

But that's not what happened.

What hit me was that I was telling my partner that I was completely overwhelmed and couldn't carry another thing right now, and his immediate response was essentially about what it would cost him.

This also wasn't happening in a vacuum. For quite some time I've felt that when circumstances become difficult or inconvenient, I'm the one who adjusts and stretches around his needs and circumstances. I've increasingly questioned whether this is the kind of relationship I actually want.

So when this happened, something in me just snapped. I didn't want to argue about it, convince him that my situation was serious enough, or explain myself for the hundredth time.

I simply said that I was done, that I didn't want him moving into the new apartment with me next year, and I left.

Now I'm trying to get an outside perspective.

Was ending the relationship at this point an overreaction, or was his reaction to this situation enough to make the underlying incompatibility clear?

I 22 f live at home with my dad 49 m in my childhood home with brother 20 m. My mom lives about 20 away and had space just not enough and i can not bring my dog to live there so im stuck at my dads. The issue is he is a slob. Our kitchen table most days is covered in his mail, trinkets, golf stuff etc. , the living room smells musty from him leaving food/drink cans out, his room is covered in dirty clothes, our garage is un walkable covered in junk and garbage. I try my best to keep up with house work but its hard when 1) i cannot move his clutter bc i cant touch his stuff 2) its unmotivating at this point because theres always something else that needs to be done or is messy it’s seriously never ending. I also am in charge or groceries and making sure the home is stocked w what we need which he does fund.The worst part is he genuinely thinks it is me who is messy because i sometimes do not do my dishes right away…which i do admit to BUT 90% of the time i will do my dishes right after eating. My final straw was last weekend when we were going out of town for 2 days and he forgot to get a pet sitter. When i expressed my annoyance he said i can do it too i am an adult. I said i would be happy to find a sitter but the household task was not delegated to me and i am not responsible for the mental load of his house. He said i am like my mother and i am manipulating him?!? Am i the asshole for feeling like i shouldn’t be in charge of organizing all household tasks/responsibilities?? I also would like to say i am a recent grad and am looking for a job i have applied to abt 30 in a month but going for more! Sorry this is so jumbled up but im at my wits end. Im tired of being told im not a good person and that im messy.

My boyfriend and I planned a short trip to a nearby city for the weekend. We planned to go by car on Friday after work, which would be at 6 pm for both of us. We both work remotely.

Yesterday, he told me that since he's not doing much at work, we could leave early, around 4 pm. I told him that even though it would be very rare for me to have a call or for someone to ask me for something on a Friday afternoon, I don't feel comfortable leaving work early. I don't want to ask for permission to do something like that, and I'm quite fearful of sneaking out and showing as offline on discord, which is the app we use to communicate with people in my area.

No one is going to say anything to me, and I'm not going to get fired for it. Some of my colleagues even set their discord status to always show as offline, and no one is tracking that. It is indeed an irrational fear, or an unsolicited expectation that I put on myself anyway.

He called me a coward for it and said it was stupid to worry about something like that. He suggested that I bring my work laptop on the trip, or that I open discord on my phone. I don't want to bring my laptop since it's company property, and discord on my phone shows that I'm online through my phone.

He also said that he would have to drive at night if we leave at 6 pm. I actually brought this up when we were originally planning the trip and deciding which day to leave, and he seemed fine with it at the time.

I know it probably sounds silly, and I'm working on trying not to feel so out of place at my job or like I don't deserve to be where I am. But I'm not there yet, and I just don't feel comfortable sneaking out of work.

It's always been a problem in our relationship that I want to be available for work from 9 to 6 even though I'm usually not required to be available that whole time. My boyfriend doesn't understand why I think this way, so he doesn't accept it. He ultimately said that I should think about it and that it would be a shame to have to leave so late because of this.

Am I being unreasonable?

I 20F and my boyfriend 20M, moved in with my great grandma to have a better opportunity to get started in life as adults. My grandma told us, all she would want is for us to buy some groceries to keep up with what we eat, and to help around the house and outside. Sounds like a great deal, so we took it and it was totally fine for a while.

My grandmas son, my uncle, lives here too. He’s jobless, gets food stamps, but DOESNT BUY GROCERIES WITH THEM. he literally only buys himself sweets, and writes his name on it to claim it. He’s also mentally and verbally abusive to my grandma, his own mother. He’s also that way towards me and my boyfriend, though he tends to try and get physical with my boyfriend.

My grandma gets really frustrated with my uncle, and she takes it out on us. Today, I told her I have an interview for a second job, and she got pissed! She was like “night shift? You’re gonna be too tired to want to do anything!” And I told her “grandma, I worked night shift for an entire year with my previous job, and i was FINE. This is the same job, different company, I know what I’m doing” and she still didn’t grasp it. It’s 3 nights a week, 13hr shifts.

She then got mad and said my boyfriend needs to start buying more groceries. He makes a lot more at his job than I do, so $200 goes into his savings which are our savings for getting our own place, and the rest of the $700 goes towards groceries, and amenities. He already buys the water, bread, meat, and vegetables for the house, and that’s not enough?

We RARELY buy for ourselves. I get myself a coffee for work sometimes, or buy a lunch for cheap. But I never spend more than $25 on myself.

We also lately haven’t been eating at home as much to cut down on the costs of groceries, but we still buy them for the house.

So, are my boyfriend and I wrong for saving up $200 of his check every month instead of spending it all on groceries? We are also forced by my grandma to buy my uncle’s dinners as well if we get something to eat at fast food.

I feel like it’s unfair that we have to support the groceries completely, when we’re trying to save up to get started on life, this is slowing us down. Not only that, it’s unfair that we buy groceries and do things around the house only for my uncle to make messes, treat it like a junk yard, do drugs in the house, invite sketchy people over and things go missing every time, and blatantly disrespect his mother, and that’s okay.

It makes NO sense to me, and most of my family keeps telling me I’m wrong for this, but how am I wrong?? I don’t understand.

**TRIGGER WARNING SA MENTIONED**

Background: I'm a late diagnosed adult with ADHD, Autism and CPTSD. I'm only 3 years into my mental health journey, and working with my therapist has really made me reflect on my life, and hold those who've hurt me accountable. I remember the things that have happened to be very well, I can recall the locations things have happened at, people who were involved and things that were said. However, the specific timeline of how old I was exactly or what month/year the events in my childhood took place prior to the age of 16 are harder to pinpoint.

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I (28F) have four sisters. One older (29F) and three younger half sisters (25F), (23F), (19F).

My parents were married young, my mom was 16 and my dad was 22, which is a big problem in and of it's self, but I digress. They split right after I was born and not long after that my dad started seeing my half sisters mom, who I'll call "Cruella".

Cruella was also younger when she met my father (I think around 21 or 22), and she already had a son from a previous relationship.

My dad was/is not a stable provider, always in and out of various odd jobs (to avoid paying my mother child support still to this day) and constantly moving around. My mother always made it a point for us to be involved with our dad, it was very important to her that we formed our own relationships and opinions when it came to our other side of family.

We never missed a weekend with him, we were always going to birthday parties for immediate and extended family, always coming to holidays (even if it meant my mom went with us if it wasn't one of my dads days). My mom attended gatherings with me and my older sister until we had our licenses and were able to go on our own.

I don't really know the best way to go about laying out the issue I have with Cruella, so sorry in advance if it feels a bit scattered, that's how this whole fucking thing makes me feel.

My dad had my older sister and I every other weekend, which in the grand scheme of things is really not very much time. He also had us for Thanksgiving and Christmas Day. I cannot stress enough how much I HATED!! going over there. Cruella ALWAYS made me feel subhuman, a burden, unwanted, etc. (I can't speak to how my older sister feels/felt since she has almost zero memory of our childhood.)

One of the first memories I have of my childhood is having her son force his penis into my mouth at the age of 5 or 6, and the pattern of neglect and abuse from Cruella made me feel like 'entertaining" her son was all my purpose was.

When we drove anywhere my sister and I had to sit in the back of Cruella's minivan with all the trash (my dad didn't have a car). She used to let the other kids literally just play around in the van and they would pour milk in the cupholders, spill god knows what all over the seats, fling trash everywhere and I am not exaggerating when I say the rest of this van was clean. Like she deliberately cleaned every other part of the car and kept where me and my sister sat disgusting. If we asked to sit somewhere else, or asked for something to clean up some of the mess she went IN on us. We were ungrateful and difficult, and it usually sparked a screaming match between her and my dad.

One Christmas my mom had just dropped us off late-ish morning, and we went inside to see that everyone was literally just waking up. My sister and I were already dressed and ready for the day. Cruella told us that we were all going somewhere and that they had all been waiting on us to arrive before they got ready. She made me change into a dress that was to big, it was so long that I was tripping over it, along with dirty tennis shoes that were WAY to big for a fucking kid. I had no choice, she forced me. We then pack up in the glorious minivan with the rest of the kids and my dad to set out on our destination. Well we arrived at a soup kitchen (or what I assume a soup kitchen is), where Cruella's two sisters and brother already were. We were given breakfast, allowed to look through donations of clothes and shoes and toys all under the guise that we were homeless. I cannot tell you how utterly DISGUSTING this made me feel on so many levels. I also wasn't allowed to take anything with me, we were there to get things for her kids, and I was not her kid. We got back to the house and my dad gave us all our stockings, later that night Cruella's family came over for Christmas dinner and top open gifts. My sister and I watched every person in that room open multiple presents, we got none. Gifts don't matter I get that, but that house was full of people who could give a fuck less if my sister and I were even breathing let alone caring how that must have felt to LITERAL CHILDREN. We watch our siblings showered with love and affection, and I honestly have no idea why we were even there.

My sister and I didn't have a space that was "ours" we slept on the couch or the floor. We were given blankets covered in dry pee, or just no blanket at all. Our younger sisters shared a room, we were allowed in there and were only able to sleep in there if the girls were not home (which was I think twice), and if they didn't want us in their room we had to leave.

Another weekend we were over Cruella had one of her sisters and her brother over, my dad was working this evening and she was watching us as well as her own kids. Long story short on this one, but Cruella and her sister were in a disagreement and her brother was trying to "break it up", well all hell lets loose and the sisters boyfriend was there. The boyfriend and the brother get into such a horrific fight, it just echo's through the entire house. When the cops came and pepper sprayed and tased them right by the entry, my sister and I were witnessing it all, curled up in the corner of the living room TERRIFIED. While Cruella's kids were in their rooms, separated from it all.

It didn't matter how uncomfortable we were with places we were going, people we were surrounded by or things we had to do if we had any gripe about it Cruella made us wish we didn't know how to talk. I was made to feel there but not included, taking up space but never seen.

As you can imagine I grew up with this burning hatred in my heart for Cruella, her son and honestly my younger sister and my father. Cruella and my dad split up when I was in middle school. My dad got full custody of my younger sisters (that story is just heartbreaking and I don't have it in me to tell it, but Cruella's new boyfriend was abusing my sisters). I thought finally, now I can try to build a relationship with my younger siblings and my father, who were honestly strangers to me.

That didn't happen though, Cruella was just a leach and she wouldn't leave my dad alone. This woman is fully capable of supporting herself. She has a well paying job, a degree that she got with no debt since she was paying everything off while my dad supported all 6 of them, and a wonderful credit score. What she doesn't have though is her own FUCKING place!!!!!! My dad moved into a new home and when she broke it off with her boyfriend she came right back to my dad and was now living at his house, sleeping on the couch (or my dads room, I honestly don't know). She said it was so the girls could have both parents in their lives, but I don't believe that for a fucking minute.

Over the years I've slowly become more comfortable having conversations with my dad about wanting to spend more time with just him and the girls. Celebrating his birthday, Christmas morning, etc. It seemed like he understood, but when it was time for whatever event guess who was always there, Cruella and her son.

About a year into my mental health journey I'd learned so much about myself that my therapist and I decided it was time for me to open up to my dad and share with his what I've been through. I shared the sexual abuse from her son (who has been in and out of jail since turning 18 for so many things, including attacking my dad) and the abuse I felt from Cruella. That did nothing, I would stop by my dads house to say hi and she was always there ALWAYS, and most of the time her son was too. I haven't been to my dads house in years.

It's like I cannot escape her and the only way for me to even try to have a relationship with my siblings or my father is to also have a relationship with her and hers. Most things that my dads side of the family throws I won't attend, because she will be there. So many things I have lost to this woman, and not a single one of them even cares. Well my dads sister does, she is the only one I have a relationship with and she tries to advocate for me, but is met with the same treatment I am. And what's even more fucked up is that my younger sisters have said "If my moms not invited them I'm not going", so everyone chooses Cruella.

Who I am and how I've been treated has been made very apparent to me that these people that I am nobody to them and I have always been nobody. Obviously this isn't every detail or every scenario I went through, just what's at the forefront of my mind. So do you think I'd be the asshole if I just told everyone to kick rocks and just fully separate myself?

I feel like holding out hope for some type of connection is just long gone..... I just don't know anymore. What do you think?

TLDR: my husbands co-worker has admitted targeting married men, and I want him to cut off contact

So my husband has known this coworker for about 4 years and my husband says he considers her as a work friend, but I don't want her anywhere near my husband. In the 4 years he has known her, she has had multiple relationships with multiple married men at work.

She disclosed to my husband that 8 years ago she was seeing a married guy. One day the wife walked in on them. The wife then stormed out, jumped in her car and reversed very fast which tragically killed their young daughter. This moment was obviously very traumatising but the fact that she now continues to go after married men is surely showing up as an unresolved trauma response.

Anyway she recently made a comment that the first thing she looks for when meeting a new male coworker is a ring on their finger because "married men are easier because they are bored sexually".

On top of that there have been a few instances that have made me question if she is testing the waters with my husband. She will often call him outside of work hours. She invited him to bring our son (didn't include me in the invite) to go meet her horses. She calls him outside of work hours (he usually doesn't answer and he tells me she called again). She frequently will share stories with him about sexual encounters she has had recently.

I am disgusted that women like this exist and based on her lack of morals and respect for the families she could destroy, I want my husband to have nothing to do with her.

My husband is open with his phone and lets me see their messages, his call log, etc. but I just do not trust a woman like that. Is it fair to ask my husband to cut off all contact outside of work?

So my relative called me late last night asking if I could drop everything and help with something early this morning. I was already swamped with my own stuff and just said no. I tried to keep it polite but firm, said I couldn't swing it. They got really upset, said it was important, and then started texting other relatives to weigh in. Now half the group chat is arguing about whether I was being selfish. Honestly, I don't think I was obligated to rearrange my day on zero notice, but the chain reaction has me second-guessing. Is it okay to hold that boundary or should I have just sucked it up?

I’ve been with my girlfriend for a year and a half and we’re now talking about moving in together. She currently lives alone and rents whereas I own my home and pay a mortgage.  We agreed it would make more sense to move into my place as it’s bigger and it’s not rented.

I mentioned to my gf I’d expect her to pay something towards utilities and a small amount of money to go towards wear and tear of appliances etc. She asked if I was serious and I said yeah.  She argued she shouldn’t have to be paying me anything since I own the place.

I just pointed out my bills will go up and wear and tear of the property and appliances will be increased so it’s only fair she contributes something. 

I pointed out it wouldn’t be a lot and would be probably less than half of what she paying now. I mentioned I’m happy to get it drawn up as a contract if she’d prefer but she just kept arguing she shouldn’t have to pay anything. 

I just repeated what I’d already said and she accused me of taking advantage of her. I argued that’s what she was trying to do to me by expecting to live for free. 

AITA for expecting her to contribute? 

My girlfriend and I have been together a little over three years. She has a best friend she's known since college, and I've never had an issue with them being close.

What does bother me is that apparently nothing between us stays between us.

If we argue, he gets the full recap. What I said, what she said, what started it, what I was upset about, what she thinks I "really meant." He's heard about disagreements over sex, family stuff, things I've admitted when I was upset, even conversations I assumed were obviously private.

I only realized how much he knew because a few weeks ago he made a joke about something I'd said during an argument at home. It was bizarre hearing my own words come back through someone who wasn't even there.

I told her I don't mind her occasionally asking a friend for advice. I do that too. But I think there's a difference between "we're struggling with this, what do you think?" and basically giving someone an episode recap of our relationship every time something happens.

She says he's her closest friend and talking to him is how she processes things. She also thinks I'm trying to control who she can talk to.

I'm not asking her to never mention me. I just don't like feeling like there's a third person who knows the private version of our relationship almost as well as we do.

Am I wrong for thinking some things should stay between the two people actually in the relationship?

I'm not trying to be a dick, every couple of months a group of neighbors/friends ask to come over and want me to cook something. And yeah, cool, I don't mind because I love to cook but after July 4th I've officially taken the stance of "I'll do an entree, but everyone coming has another duty" and it's not like I'm asking for something egregious but this time I threw it out there for volunteering;

• make a veggie dish
• pick up a yellowcake from the grocery store, chocolate or cream cheese frosting or some Betty crocker cake mix and do it yourself or even a 7up cake.
• bring something I need to cook with (I asked someone to buy a gallon of vegetable oil, it's like 8 bucks) since I'm frying a ton of chicken
• bring some good quality lemons for me to make lemonade
• Some chips, veggies and dip for snacks
• Help with cleanup after were done

This supposed to feed about 8-10 people and only 2 have even said anything but I'm also just asking for the load to be taken off me. I'm almost always taking care of all these task on my own (love my boyfriend, but his food choices resemble bachlor chow from Futurama) and don't feel like I'm crazy for saying I don't want to prep, serve and clean with no assistance from anyone (which seems to be a California thing, but I always help a host with cleanup it's how I was raised) and especially with fried chicken and homemade biscuits I'm absolutely not about to do ALL of this.

My BF told me I set a bad example and I switched it up too fast but I don't think so?? Just help me out if I'm hosting with maybe no more than 10 bucks out your pocket.

My husband and I are currently staying with his mom, because rent in in our area is insane and she wanted to help us save for a house. He has a 14 year old sister who I will call "Lily"

I genuinely feel for Lily. She took her parents' divorce very hard, and they don't make it any easier for her. MIL and Lily's dad "Henry" had a very messy divorce and are clearly still in love with each other, and this has been a year and a half of constant drama.

Henry acts like an overgrown child and desperately wants MIL to pay attention to him. He will do anything to piss her off just for a reaction. MIL is still wayyyy to involved in his life and she cannot stand that he has "moved on" (lmao this man has not moved on) Henry began dating "Lauren" basically right away. Yet he has basically admitted while drunk that he doesn't really like her, and he doesn't find her attractive because she looks too fake. Also I strongly believe he and MIL still sleep together from time to time.

They both underestimate how confusing this is to Lily, and I really do feel for her. Anyway Lily has begun "pranking" Lauren. These pranks are mean spirited and unfunny, but Henry insists that she is just a little kid and should not be punished.

This past weekend Henry and Lauren got married (on MILs birthday lmao) Lily was supposed to attend the wedding, spend the weekend with her cousins, and come home Monday morning, but Saturday night we woke up to banging on the door and Henry yelling at MIL to get up and take her child. He said Lily along with his nephew, played a "prank" on Lauren and pushed her in the pool while they were taking their wedding pictures in front of all of their guests.

Lily was smirking and refused to apologize to her dad. MIL did what she always does and said it wasn't Lily's fault. The next day Lily was telling my husband how funny it was. She then said that Henry knows he made a mistake and he was talking about MIL all morning.

At this point I couldn't bite my tongue anymore. I told Lily that real life isn't the parent trap, her parents aren't getting back together (honestly deep down I think they will but thats besides the point), and that she isn't cute of funny. She is a nasty little criminal who assaulted a woman on the most important day of her life.

MIL heard this from the other room and lost her shit. She told me to get out of her house and never speak to her child like that again. My husband eventually calmed her down, but MIL still says we need to be out within 30 days, because no one who calls her daughter names is going to live under her roof.

I'm 22F and my boyfriend is 24M. We been together for a little over a year and a few months ago I gave him a spare key to my apartment because he stays over a lot.

So I came home from work and found one of his friends sitting on my couch watching TV. My boyfriend wasn't even there. his friend had a few hours to kill before meeting someone nearby, so my boyfriend told him he could hang out at my place and gave him my key. He didn't text me or ask first.

Friend was polite and left as soon as he realized I wasn't expecting him, so I'm not angry at him. I'm angry that my boyfriend apparently thinks having a key means he can decide who gets access to my apartment.

When I confronted him he said I was making it weird because it's "just friend" nothing happened.....I told him that's completely beside the point and asked for my key back)))

Now he's offended and says taking the key means I don't trust him.

But... I trusted HIM with the key. I didn't give him permission to lend out access to my home. You know?

My sister lives about 20 minutes away and doesn't have a car right now, so over the last couple months I've let her borrow mine when she had appointments or needed to run errands. I genuinely didn't mind at first. The only thing I asked was that she bring it back roughly how she found it.

Three times now she's returned it with the fuel light on. The first time she apologized and said she forgot. The second time she said she was running late. Last weekend she borrowed it again, had it most of Saturday, and when I got in Sunday morning I had 11 miles of range left.

I texted her and said I'm not lending it out anymore.

She thinks I'm being ridiculous because she says she's always offered to send me money for gas afterward. To me that isn't really the point. I don't want to discover I need fuel when I'm already leaving for work or an appointment because someone used almost an entire tank and couldn't be bothered to stop for five minutes.

She also has this habit of saying "I'll fill it next time" instead of just doing it before returning the car. After the third time I figured the simplest solution was just not letting her use it.

Now she needs the car next weekend for something important and my mom has gotten involved, saying I'm making my sister's life harder over something easily fixable.

My sister offered to fill the whole tank this time and says I'm basically punishing her for mistakes she's already apologized for. I told her apologies don't mean much when the exact same thing keeps happening.

She called me petty and said family is supposed to help each other.

I do feel a little bad because I know not having a car is difficult, but I'm also tired of having the same conversation every time.

Am I wrong for just making this a hard no now?

Around 9 months ago my sister came out as trans, now fast-forward let's say 6 or so months ago I noticed my sister started to become more distant, things we use to do we no longer. Play D&D, work on gunpla or our warhammer armies, hit up the Lego store, play videos games etcetera.

I have reached out but everytime she tells me she is busy or the conversation is very brief and it akin to pulling teeth. I pretty much matched her energy from that point on. Was recently with my mom, was helping her put some IKEA stuff together, and my mom straight up asked me why I refuse to make my sister comfortable?

I was taken aback by the statement, and asked what she met? She told me my sister told her she was not comfortable around me anymore and was disappointed that I low-key ignoring her existence, paraphrasing. I explained everything I have tried to do these last six months and that she was the one that has become distant. I told mom I would talk with her and try to see what is going on.

I kind of just showed up at my sister's place Monday, and told her we need to talk. I asked her why did she tell mom she was uncomfortable around me, I told her mom is freaking out she is afraid she is going to have to choose between us. My sisyer told me she feels uncomfortable because it has been 9 months and I still have my Harry Potter books and merchandise, and two months after she told us she was Trans I went to Universal with and posted pictures ​with me at Diagon Alley, and spent money on more merchandise.

I told her Harry Potter is always going to he a huge part of my life, literally met my fiancée waiting in line for Hagrid’s ride. Not going to hide that part of me, or tell my fiancée we can no longer engage or celebrate the interest that got us together.

My sister still said it makes her uncomfortable, I asked if she is afraid I was going to hurt or harm her. I told her I don't share JKR views, told her I always thought she was crazy and weird. I even acknowledged the books are not master pieces and are full of problematic concepts but I also acknowledge that it is a world I greatly enjoy and helped me get through some rough times when I was a kid.

She told me she is not afraid I would harm her, but it does hurt her to see that I value my interests over her existence. She knew it would be hard for me to put that part of me aside but she said after 9 months she figured I would get the hint, and throw all that stuff out. I asked does she expect everyone who was a fan to stop being a fan cause of the authors views, she said no but then told me she expects her family to do it for her though.

The conversation started to become cyclical, I asked if this was something we could work on or is this going to be a hard line. She told me for the sake of herself and her partner it was a hardline and something I need to consider if I want to be a part of her life going forward. When I brought up our mom she said mom will not have to choose, we can share mom but understand she may not partake in holidays or gatherings if her partner is uncomfortable being around those that support bigots.

For added clarity my sister went from M to F. I do not want to cut my sister out of my life, but I also know especially to my partner HP does mean a lot to us, we probably never would have met if it was not HP. I understand buying merchandise at universal is far from ideal, posting pictures of us at Universal, or seeing ​the cursed child. Sure maybe it is immature of us to be into HP as adults but I think my sister is being slightly unfair especially towards our mom. While I feel she I am putting her in an impossible position, I think she is putting mom in an rough spot and this can divide our family. I briefly spoke about this with my fiancée and she is also on the fence. We met waiting in line for a HP ride, and it has become a tradition to go to universal every year where we met. It was purely random, and she does not feel we should have to give that up.

I am willing to compromise and not buy new merchandise but I don't think that is enough for my sister. I Know our mom is going to take this hard and she probably will tell me just to throw it all away, family is more important end of the story and as family we have a responsibility to put the wants and needs of family first.

I get she does not want to see us divided.

A few months ago I lent my cousin my old gaming laptop because his computer died and he needed something for school and job applications. I wasn't using it much, but it's still a decent laptop and I was pretty clear that I was lending it to HIM, not giving it away.

Last weekend I went over to his place and one of his friends was sitting at the kitchen table playing a game on it. I asked my cousin about it afterward and he casually said his friends use it sometimes when they're over, and that he'd even let one of them take it home for a weekend recently.

That bothered me way more than he expected.

I told him I wasn't comfortable with random people taking my laptop, especially outside his apartment, and I wanted it back. He got annoyed and said nothing had happened to it, he was responsible for it, and since I wasn't using it anyway he didn't understand why I suddenly cared who touched it.

His argument was basically that while something is loaned to him, it's his responsibility and therefore he should get to decide how it's used.

Mine is that I trusted HIM with an expensive piece of my property. I didn't agree to some unofficial community laptop situation.

I took it home that night.

Now he's pissed because he still needs a computer and says I left him screwed over because of a hypothetical problem that never actually happened. My aunt also thinks I overreacted and says I should've just told him not to lend it out again instead of immediately taking it back.

Maybe that's fair, but honestly the fact that he'd already sent it home with somebody I don't even know killed my trust pretty fast.

Am I wrong for taking it back instead of giving him another chance?