r/amiwrong

I'm on a throwaway because everyone in my life knows my main and aren't familiar with this subreddit very much. But I need a third party perspective on this issue.

Lately I've (f24) been scrolling thru my local shelter's website for the past few months but I haven't found a dog that I just clicked, until now. A sweet little boarder collie mix. When I met her, I instantly fell in love with her and I knew that she's going to become popular so I know I have to fill out the adoption papers quickly. She's practically perfect for any home, especially mine. She's a well trained 2 year old who is energetic of course for her breed but fortunately she keeps that energy only outside. Inside she just wants to cuddle and relax which is perfect for someone who works from home with a good pay and just recently received inheritance from my deceased grandpa so I know I can afford to take care of her. I live in a 850 sq ft apartment but she's only about 37lbs and have a huge dog park just a couple blocks away so I know I have the perfect environment for her. All I need are good references.

I figured I put in one of my friends' and one of my cousins' (f29) because I've occasionally petsit for them before. It wasn't until I got rejected that I realize choosing my cousin was the wrong choice. I asked the manager why I was rejected and she told me that my cousin brought up my boyfriend (m26). We dated when we were in high school but broke up when he graduated and this past year we've been getting closer and dating again. My boyfriend did a stupid mistake when we were teens that involve a neighbors' boxer at that time. Boxer was ok, it was nothing serious. But since my cousin brought this up, manager did both criminal record checks on me (I came clean) and my boyfriend (he has minor infraction) thus they consider me unfit to adopt because of the company I keep.

I confronted my cousin why did she think it was a good idea to bring up a mistake that someone else did when we were kids. She said that she and the rest of the family were worried that my boyfriend is back in my life again and that there's something about him that just makes me lose all my morals. I said we're all adults now and it's unfair that all of you still refuse to get to know him now. He's a great guy now with a good paying job and it's wrong of her to punish me just because I'm dating someone she hates. It's also unfair that you ruin my chances on a dog that I truly wanted and loved. She said that she was just being honest and in the end it's the shelter's judgment on me if I would be a good owner or not.

Still, their judgment wasn't just on me and that was based on a mistake that happened years ago that my cousin brought up when there was no reason to.

Edit-A lot of people asking about the boxer. I already replied to someone this so I'm just copying what I already said. Also the minor infraction has nothing to do with what happened with the dog. It was a completely different incident and a nonviolent crime.

When he was a junior, Boyfriend's neighbor asked him and his family to take care of their boxer due to a family emergency one time. The boxer was allergic to metal. I don't know it it's all of them or specific kind but neighbor only use plastic bowls for him. Boyfriend thought neighbor was crazy and that having a metal allergy isn't real so he decided to feed the dog with a metal bowl without anyone looking to "prove" that neighbor is crazy. He said the dog looked fine when he finished eating but apparently when the neighbor came home the dog's nose started bleeding? (are nose bleeds a normal reaction to a metal allergy?) She accused boyfriend's parents but boyfriend confessed but he kept telling her he truly forgot about the allergy (he didn't, he was lying) and I guess she believed him but parents had to pay for the vet bill and they ground him for the whole summer (had to only work, no hanging out with me or friends whatsoever).

My girlfriend and I had been broken up for a while, but even during the breakup, we were still actively communicating and trying to work through our issues with the intention of getting back together.

During that time, I started talking to another woman. She had no idea that I was still in contact with my ex and that we were potentially working toward reconciling.

Eventually, my girlfriend and I got back together. However, just a few days later, the other woman called me, and the conversation quickly turned flirtatious and confrontational. In hindsight, I shouldn't have entertained it, but I genuinely didn't think anything would come of it. We had been talking for a while, but nothing physical had ever happened between us.

Unfortunately, one thing led to another, and I made the decision to invite her over to my apartment. We ended up having sex.

Now I'm in a difficult situation. I've cheated on my girlfriend, and the other woman has developed feelings for me and wants a relationship.

I feel incredibly guilty about the entire situation. I never intended for things to go this far, especially considering that I had just reconciled with my girlfriend.

I know I made a terrible decision, but now I have to figure out how to handle the consequences without making an already difficult situation worse

I've worked with this woman for seven years and she retires Friday. She trained me and we've stayed close, so I made her a photo album. Printed photos, captions, a few dumb stories she always tells. Paid for it myself and put it together over several evenings.

I asked three coworkers for older photos because they worked here before I did. When I brought the finished book in, the person organising Friday's lunch suggested passing it around for everyone to sign and presenting it as the team's gift.

I said I'd rather give it to her myself. There's already a card going around, and I put a fairly personal note in the front. The organiser said people would naturally assume it was from everyone since I'd asked around for pictures.

To be fair, I didnt explain it was a personal gift when I asked. I just said I was making an album for her. Those three did dig out pictures I couldn't have found myself.

The organiser thinks I'm being precious about getting credit. Maybe I am a bit. I put alot of thought into it and wanted her to know it came from me.

My birthday is next week. My partner hasn’t mentioned anything about it. I know he forgot. He’s never organized or planned anything for ny bday in the last 4 years and I’ve planned all of his except for last year because he didn’t plan anything for my 40th. I’ve planned all do my own bdays except my 40th because I told him how much it meant to me and I thought he would do something special. He didn’t. Do I did nothing for his. I’m now realizing my bday is gonna be a bust again and I’m so hurt about it. I’m also in school rn and I don’t have time to plan my own bday plus I just want my partner to care!!

A few months after our parent passed, I was given a small collection of tools that had been sitting in their garage. They were always the ones I used when I helped out around the house, and they specifically said they wanted me to have them. My sibling thinks that since they were not mentioned in any paperwork they should stay with the rest of the estate and be divided. I offered to let them borrow anything they needed, but they want the whole set returned. I have been using these tools regularly and they hold some memories, so parting with them feels off. I am not trying to be difficult, but I also do not want to hand over something that was meant for me. Would it be wrong to keep them, or should I just let it go to keep the peace?

I’ve (18M) always had issues with my mother (41F) but everything recently came crashing down.

for some background knowledge she’s always been childish, and has admitted this herself. she got addicted to substances in her early 20’s and got clean a few years ago but it still heavily affects her emotional maturity. I was expected to keep the house running since I was about 8, so I find I’m often told I act more similar to how a parent would while she acts more like a child.

I’m currently in the process of attempting to find work and moving, which has added more stress to my work load as I’m expected to be a live-in maid for my mother and her friends most of my time.

My responsibilities in the house include: Doing everyone’s dishes, taking care of all animals (there are 9 cats), keeping the kitchen, living room and occasionally bathroom clean, taking the trash out and sweeping and moping.

Although I normally wouldn’t have an issue with this, it’s been increasingly stressful as if I don’t leave my room for a day it will result in the house looking horrible due to her and her boyfriends absence of taking care of it despite usually both being home.

My biggest thing with her has always been I’m fine taking on the work load, and would be okay continuing this arrangement after I find work as long as she doesn’t do anything to the cats. Although the large majority of them aren’t mine I have a soft spot for them, and I don’t think I would be around without them.

Recently we got into an argument, this isn’t uncommon for us though they always usually go the same way. She gets upset, often confronting the situation aggressively which causes me to shut down as a trauma response, I try to remove myself before it escalates and she either threatens to beat me or the animals in the house.

She usually stops there when I don’t feed into whatever she’s doing, but our most recent argument she threatened to throw the cats all out. When I went to walk away like how I normally do she opened the door and grabbed one of the kittens.

I’m not sure if she was going to follow through with it but with how she was standing from my perspective it looked like she was preparing to chuck the cat outside. I admittedly didn’t think much but it caused me to get physical with her and we both fault for a minute before she stormed off back to her room.

I’m honestly uncomfortable going into extreme detail, but for better context at first I grabbed her wrist to stop her and made her drop the cat, and she went to grab me which caused me to push back on her and it just escalated from there.

I’m ashamed that I wasn’t able to keep myself together like how I normally do, and put my hands on anyone, let alone my mom.

The situation has truthfully been tearing me apart apart, I hate that I put my hands on someone out of genuine anger, but I’m also torn because although I believe I overreacted, I do believe he possibly harming one of the animals to get back at me is insane behavior.

I’m fine clarifying anything in comments, honestly I guess I’m just looking for an outside perspective to let me know what I could have done differently and what I can do going forward.

This is a follow up to a previous post I made.

Here’s the short version. My friend Liz is having a baby shower for her upcoming baby. She had asked me to contribute with a cake among other things that would’ve cost me nearly $500 altogether. Well after an argument over an unrelated matter, she told me that she didn’t want me to contribute anymore as she didn’t want anyone to “throw it back in my face”. I didn’t argue back and we hadn’t spoken since.

Well as I’ve sorta predicted she has now apologized as said she’s been stressed over her pregnancy, her other daughter’s health and the possibility of having to find a new job. She is now asking if I would be willing to contribute to the baby shower again but I said no as I no longer have money set aside for this request (I technically do but that would require me to use some savings) and she needs to learn that she can’t act the way she did and then expect them to just forgive them.

Liz argues now that she’s apologized so what was the matter now. She says you don’t promise to contribute then refuse when the time comes. I reminded Liz that she was the one that relieved me of those duties but she was sorry so now I’m being a jerk by refusing to help now.

Liz explains that a deposit needs to be placed by the baker by Monday or the order will be cancelled or an “expedite” fee will be added if she asks for the cake after Monday. I still refuse.

Liz gives up but emphasizes that if she can’t get this cake and all the items I had promised to donate for the shower then she will likely have to cancel the whole event and it’s going to be on “my conscience” since many other friends and family have set aside time and resources as well but that cake is the center piece.

Am I wrong for refusing to help again even after Liz has apologized. What should I do?

i just mentioned it because the group chat was complaining about interest rates, and i figured the timing was okay to share a small thing that worked for me. one friend replied with cool and then the conversation moved on, but a couple others left the chat on read. now i'm wondering if i should go back and say sorry or something, because it might have come across like i was flexing. i didn't use any dollar amount and i wasn't trying to one-up anyone, but maybe even saying it at all was enough. i keep thinking maybe i should just let it sit, or maybe i should apologize for making it weird. not sure which way to go.

A friend asked if I could grab their mail while they were away for a weekend. No big deal, I was happy to help. Since then it has somehow become a regular thing. Every Friday I get a text reminding me to swing by, and if I forget they act like I dropped the ball. We never talked about it becoming a standing arrangement, and I never agreed to it. I have brought it up once, saying I might not always be free, but the response was just a quick laugh and another reminder the next week. I do not want to start drama, but it is starting to feel like my time is being taken for granted. I am not sure if I am overreacting or if it is fair to set a boundary now.

I joined a local amateur theatre group in June. It's eight of us, mostly people with day jobs, putting on a short comedy in November. I got a small speaking part, nine lines, and have been practising after work. There's no pay or competition involved.

At last week's rehearsel I missed two cues and lost my place once. The director stopped us, went over it again, and the second run was better. Yesterday she called and asked me to give the part to a member who's come back after a year away. He's done several productions before.

She said I'd still be involved, holding the prompt script in case anybody forgot a line. I said I joined because I wanted to try acting, and if the part was gone I'd rather leave. She now says I'm making it impossible to change anything without somebody sulking. Another member says staying to help is what being in a group means.

I didnt shout or demand the part back. But I also didn't offer to keep helping. The performance is five weeks away and they've got somebody who knows what they're doing. I feel like one messy rehearsal shouldn't have ended my chance, but maybe walking out over nine lines really is childish.

Okay, so last weekend I went to a small dinner with some friends I do not see often. I had mentioned earlier in the week that I cannot eat dairy without getting sick, and everyone seemed cool about it. When we sat down, the main dish had a heavy cream sauce, and the only sides were cheesy bread and a salad with feta sprinkled on top. I ended up just picking at the salad and eating plain bread. No one said anything mean, but no one offered an alternative or even noticed that I basically went hungry. Later someone joked that I must be on a weird diet, and I laughed it off, but it still felt off. I am not sure if I am being too sensitive or if it was rude not to check in. Part of me thinks it was just a simple mix-up, but another part feels like my boundary got brushed aside without a second thought. Would love some outside perspective.

My girlfriend 29F has a friend she will text and hangout with 30F who compulsively cheats on her husband (none of us actually have met her husband). Due to recent events I’ve had a hard time fully trusting her because of this and also her behavior towards her cheating friend.

Her friend is married and they have a child that is 2 years old. A few weeks ago I was with my girlfriend and her friend at a bar. We were all drunk and she was talking about this guy she hooked up with that we all mutually know. She was talking about how hot he was and my girlfriend who has his number began to text him and tell him to come meet us out. She showed me the message before it got sent and I was drunk and ended up hitting send on it. The guy didn’t end up coming out but this is where my distrust of her began.

It seemed concerning that my girlfriend was joking around with her about it and then proceeded to draft a text for that guy to come out to meet her friend. I spoke with her about this the other night and I told her I think it’s disgusting how her friend cheats on her husband especially since they have a child together as well. I said they should just divorce and that the behavior is unacceptable.

She then proceeded to say I know , it’s just complicated “her friend says her and her husband are like best friends and they have a kid together”. I then called her out and said what if I tell my other buddy about how she cheats on her husband and she said “I would break up with you”. I called her out and said “that’s fucking bullshit, I don’t know why the fuck you’d even say that” she then replied “yeah you’re right I’d just be really upset”.

It makes me paranoid she would do the same to me and cheat. When we discussed boundaries she is very firm in her stance and says “I have been cheated on before and would never want to inflict that pain onto someone else” but it seems odd how she was almost trying to help her friend cheat at the bar. Also her other friend (who is friends with both of them) was calling the cheating friend out on her behavior calling her delusional and psychotic and my girlfriend was defending the cheating friend and got upset the other girl said that. Is this a big red flag or should I talk this over again with her and see what she says. She says she is great at keeping secrets and would never expose one of her friends.

I was at a family dinner last week when my older brother made a backhanded comment about my sibling’s career choice. It wasn’t even a big deal, just one of those little digs that had been happening for a while. I ended up jumping in right away, saying something about how it was a solid choice and that we should be happy for them. The table went quiet for a second and then everyone kind of looked at me like I had made it awkward. Later my sibling texted me saying they appreciated it but also that it kind of escalated the vibe. I’m still glad I said something in the moment, but now a couple of relatives keep bringing it up like I turned nothing into something. Not sure if I was wrong for stepping in or if I should have just let it slide.

so the other night we had people over for dinner and one relative showed up with a big tray of something they had just cooked. they didn't ask ahead of time and just set it down on the table like it was part of the plan. it threw off what i had already made and how much space we had, plus a couple of guests had already mentioned dietary stuff that the new dish didn't match. i felt put on the spot and didn't say anything in the moment because it was busy. now i'm wondering if it was worth bringing up later. i ended up texting them the next day to say thanks but also that next time it would be easier if we planned it first. they haven't replied yet and i'm sitting here wondering if i was too blunt or if i should have just let it go. i get that they were trying to help and it was nice of them, but it still felt like the boundary around what was being served got crossed without a heads up. am i wrong for speaking up about it?

Hello everybody! I am M26 writing because I feel that because of my actions I have now been left out from kind of stuff I would love to do and I can definetely see it. I understand the reasons for it and there is every right for me not to be included that much since that has also lead me to take some distance.

I used to have super cool best friend group of 5 guy friends but we dont hang out anymore at all. 2 of them are not part of this "leaving me out" scenario and the third is pretty 50/50 since he gives signals that we are mates through and through by sometimes suggesting stuff but in the end I mostly suggest stuff for us and he reads the messages after two days.

But the last two from the group have totally now left me out and it sucks. One of them was my ride or die for a long time, lets name in carl (fake name). Me and carl had such a good relationship but because I struggled with substance abuse problems which I have now conquered we are now back on track. Still we had a year of weird relationship and during that time he got a girlfriend.

At first her girlfriend and me clicked so well and I thought omg, maybe this is start of new era since she got really well with my girlfriend as well. Things were great from september 2025 till april 2026.
Then I apparently fumbled bad and this is related to the second friend that has left me out imo. He (fake name, jack) has a girlfriend who I clicked really well and for over a year when we saw eachother we threw out some funny and weird jokes like proper mates do. I really thought that we also had a good thing going on since Jack is hard person socially and have been weird towards me after my substance issues. Nevertheless I thought that hey, maybe through having this click with her girlfriend would make him see me as a good person.

Then in appril we were in a party where I said to Jack's girlfriend that she looks amazing and her ass is looking fabulous (she posted a thirst trap evening before and me and my girlfriend were really hyping that photo up).

I know ofc that it can come out super weird and I take total accountability for it to seem weird or anything not good. But she took it in a way that I tried to hit on her infront of my partner. I was shocked hearing this 2 months later since if you know me as a person, I am always hyping up everyone and trying to spread posivity. I thought Jack would know that as well since we been friends for ages. BUT no, apparently I was being sketchy as fuck and slimey and Jack wont confront me about it.

Side note: after the compliment I went to my gf to say that I gave the compliment as full and we were like ”fuck yes” because we were for real hyped for it 😂🙈

After that incident, Carls girlfriend said this to me at my graduation party??? and also hinted to me that I should not go cheating around and focus on my girlfriend. That is super weird comment since our relationship means the world to me and I would never do that. But she loves drama and I have not really talked with her sober ever. So that kinda also points out why se would say stuff like that.
But know in the summer I did not hang out with Jack at all (only when we had some trips where others came) and sometimes with Carl. Now I see them post shit togethet doing stuff which I would love to join but I dont even get an invite to and then the third friend who is 50/50 is also with them who I also invited for a coffee last week and he just did not reply.

I know I have also taken a little step back since things have gotten a bit weird. But still I am pretty sure that it is intentional since I used to be wild and that can leave a mark and it really does not help that people assume I try to hit my friend's girlfriend. I ofc get it and they have a choice to choose to have fun in a secure group which dont include me.

In summary: The thing what I am asking is that should I just try to not care and accept that life has now put us in crossroad where we take turn to different direction or should I try to save it by having a talk?

Talk would be good ofc. But I also consider that do I want to pursue with this kind of drama based behaviour since we could have talked that incident immediately but then it spiraled into situation where my mood is killed at my graduation and I dont just get invites.

I do understand that me having substance issues have had a major role and therefore the relationship will propably never be the same since the history is long and my ”pr” has gotten bad from stuff I have done when not feeling well. I understand that and take accountability for being like that. I am happy how far I have come and would not wish anything else except that my ”best friends” would see it that way as well.

So if anyone has anything to say I am open to hear some point of view.

TL;DR: M26. Two close friends have stopped inviting me after a compliment I gave one's girlfriend at a party was taken as hitting on her, and after my past substance issues. Should I accept we're drifting apart or try to save it by having a talk?

I’m a 23 year old girl with a sister who’s 27. She’s engaged to a man, and I recently got out of a relationship. The man I was with was 35. Slightly older, yes, I know, don’t judge me. We had been seeing each other for about a year. I met him through my sister’s fiancé.

We recently had a really bad breakup. We went out to a bar together for our usual Friday date, margaritas and a beer, and he invited a whole bunch of people. Only one person actually came. That was at around 4 p.m. We then went to another bar where he could spend some time with his friends before I asked him to come home with me at around 10:30 p.m.

I figured I wouldn’t make a big deal about his friends essentially crashing our date because he hadn’t seen them in a while. However, this was actually a pretty common issue in our relationship. He would go out on Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, Saturdays, and most Sundays. It was actually pretty rare that we spent proper quality time together without his friends being involved.

It seemed like almost every weekend, whether it was Friday or Saturday, he would spend most of his time at a pub with his friends and consider that spending quality time together. I didn’t have a problem with him having friends or wanting to see them, but I wanted to feel like I was actually getting some of his time and attention as his girlfriend.

Anyway, this particular Friday, I asked him to come home with me at 10:30 p.m. because I felt like he had spent enough time with his friends, especially since he was going to see them again on Saturday and Sunday.

Keep in mind that I live in a relatively unsafe part of town, and I was completely alone in my apartment block. I asked him to come home with me, and he got angry.

So I stormed off from the property, getting ready to call a cab. This man then drove up beside me in his car, absolutely drunk, calling me a pathetic loser and continuing to insult me while I was trying to call my cab.

Eventually, he stopped the car and started pushing and shoving me around, trying to get me into the car. I’ve been in a physically abusive relationship before, so this absolutely terrified me, and I kind of lost it.

He forced me into his car. Then, when he slowed down at a stop street, I jumped out. Yes, that might sound crazy, but he should know better than to put his hands on me.

After that, he continued pushing and shoving me and trying to pick me up, basically attempting to force me back into his car, but he eventually forced me into the car again.

When we got to my apartment, I asked him not to leave because there was no one else around. Again, I live in an unsafe area and was completely alone.

He then started taking photos and videos of me sobbing and crying my eyes out over what he had just done. He told me he was going to send them to everyone so that people could see how “crazy” I was.

I told him that I would delete his number and never see him again if he would just promise to delete the videos. He refused.

I tried to grab his phone because I didn’t want anybody seeing me like that. I didn’t need people seeing my tears and seeing how broken I was. Eventually, I waited for him to fall asleep and deleted the videos of me from his phone.

He then left in a rage.

My family uses Life360, so we can see where everyone in the family is. Today, I opened it and saw that my sister was having a barbecue with this same man who basically assaulted me last Friday.

Am I the asshole for being upset?

So a friend asked me for something a couple of weeks ago and I said yes because it was a one-off. They thanked me, everything was fine. Now they are asking for the same thing again, like it is suddenly a regular thing. I told them I can not keep doing it and they got quiet. I feel like I was polite but maybe I should have offered an explanation or a compromise. The whole situation is really small but I keep wondering if I came off rude by just saying no without extra cushion. I do not want to be the person who always gives in, yet I also do not want to create weird tension over something simple.

So back in Augest my ex partner and I got into it really badly. There was abus from both us and we both ended up in a week long psychiatric stay at seperate locations. After that he ended things with me saying maybe we can work it out but for now we should just work on ourselves. I have abandonment issues so I was really going through it and asked to speak to him in person and he said he wasnt ready yet. I said okay.

After I got released from the hospital I started noticing nausea, extreme fatigue but I chalked it up to side effects from the anti depressant and anxiety meds i was put on.

Well my period was late. I took a test and it did come out positive. I set up an appointment with my nurse to confirm with blood tests and I was indeed pregnant. She sent a referral out to obgyn and while waiting for my appointment and figuring out a way to tell the ex over text cause he wouldnt see me in person, I had started bleeding so I went in and was told that I was starting a miscarriage. The tissue didnt pass on its own so I was given meds.

I was completely broken after that.

And during that time when I was consumed with my own grief I never did the father right away.

A week later when I finally did tell him, he told me he was sorry that happened and how i went through it alone and that was the end of that conversation. He didnt ask how I was or anything about the pregnancy. He did ask why I never told him anything and I replied with "would it have made a difference because you made it clear you didnt want to see me yet" and he avoided the answer.

I tried asking for his support but he said he's still not ready to see me.

Im gonna add that this man's place of work is a minute walk around the corner from my place so he goes by my house every day several times a day so its been harder to heal when im seeing him go by so often. Im not out there waiting for him to go by, in fact I actively try to avoid the times I know he goes in and for lunch and when hes done for the day but the nature of his job requires him to be in and out of the office several times a day sometimes.

Its been a month now and I tried revisitng the topic and asked him whats so wrong about supporting the woman who lost your baby but his answer this time was "I will help you when the time comes" and he has since blocked me a social media. I have apologized and stated that I should have told him right away but im getting nothing but silence.

I can own up and admit that I should have told him right away but based on his words, he wouldnt have shown up anyways, am I really the asshole here?

I have been friends with this person for a couple of years and we usually got along fine. Recently they told me something that turned out to be completely untrue, and when I asked them about it they admitted they had made it up because they did not want me to know the real details. It was not about anything dramatic, just a small thing that mattered to me. I felt pretty betrayed that they chose to lie instead of just being honest or saying they did not want to talk about it. I have not answered their messages since then and I am wondering if that is too harsh. They apologized once and said it was not a big deal, but it still feels like a big deal to me. Am I wrong for deciding I do not want to stay close with someone who is willing to lie about even small stuff.

i told a couple of friends last week that i just needed some time to myself, no plans, no calls, nothing. i tried to keep it light and said it was nothing personal, i just get overwhelmed sometimes and recharge better solo. one of them said it felt like i was pushing them away and the other hasn’t really replied since. now i’m second-guessing whether i worded it badly or if i’m making a bigger deal out of needing space than it should be. i still plan on seeing them again soon, but the reaction has me wondering if i crossed a line by being honest about wanting a break. am i wrong for setting that boundary?