r/hsp

I feel things so intensely. I rarely fall in love. I usually just go on about my own business.

There is a certain unavailable individual who has become a subject of my obsession because they were kind to me and I felt so uniquely understood and seen by them. Maybe they felt it too. I don’t know. It’s unethical for me ever to pursue them. Time and again they show up in my dreams. I can’t stop daydreaming and thinking about them. My mind! It’s so damn annoying. I think I’m addicted to how I feel when I think of them. How do I let go of them from my mind?

Yesterday, a student at my school passed away. The news was very sudden and tragic, and a lot of people are grieving. My school released an official statement and postponed some activities in light of the situation.

When I went to school today, many students wore black in mourning and to show their respects. I feel horrible that I didn’t think to do the same. There wasn’t a message sent out to tell everyone to wear black, but I think many people just understood that it was the appropriate thing to do. I’m worried that it looks like I don’t care about what happened. it’s even worse that I wore white, so I stand out even more. I’m afraid that I’ve been really inconsiderate and insensitive, and I can’t stop beating myself up for not even thinking about wearing black.

In addition, one of the student‘s friends came into class late, and he was clearly upset. His friends were comforting him and letting him know that the school was going to be hosting a memorial table and a candle lighting for the student who passed. They were letting him know about all of the activities that the school was hosting to remember the student. Wanting to be helpful, I chimed in and let him know that in the evening, there was going to be a dedicated musical performance and slideshow for the student.

That was a mistake. The friend of the student who passed got frustrated and told me that he was literally going to be performing in the concert and that he already knew.

I felt really bad because in trying to be helpful, I made things worse by butting in on something that I don’t know a lot about. In general, I feel like I keep putting my foot in my mouth. Today has just been a combination of me saying and doing all the wrong things.m; just overall tactless. i feel really guilty, and I can’t stop thinking about all the things I should have done instead.

Does anyone have any words of advice for how to stop feeling this way? Or maybe how I could have handled this whole situation better?

Hi everyone,

Something I have really been struggling with lately is how much of myself to accept and how much to try to change and push through difficult situations and feelings. I feel like I never know when it is time to grit my teeth and white knuckle or when it is time to give myself a break.

My sensitive nature makes life much harder in many ways. I can't accomplish as much as I want to because I need so much down time, things impact me so deeply which takes a lot out of me, and I get distracted so easily by my feelings.

I keep warring with myself over wanting to become less sensitive, yet wondering if that is even possible, and if fighting my nature is just making life even harder.

I have heard people discuss resilience but I don't understand how to build that in a realistic way while juggling everything else I have to do.

Is it possible to reduce your sensitivity? Is it worth it?

HSPs who have learned to work with their sensitive nature: what concrete steps did you take?

Thank you!

As a man

I wish to be taken of my sensitivity

I am from Asia.

Ok I want to be honest. I’ve had childhood trauma and maybe I am sensitive by nature .

I easily shed tears. I try to toughen up the brute force but doesn’t work.

I thank my parents for a roof over head , food. But other than that I’ve always been the odd one

I like poetry , reading, observing. But maybe all that’s a joke and I should go for cars watches and fancy trips and fake a life on instagram like everyone else

I get so activated when I get criticised at work and I don’t action things naturally . I am so stupid and unsavable

Maybe I am just weak and I just want to be numb to everything

This is too much to bear

I don’t really know how to put it into words very well, the best I can come up with is sometimes things in life are so beautiful (for lack of better description) they just make me tear up and sometimes full on cry. They are simple things that most people wouldn’t notice or appreciate.

I know some of you out there must experience this. Anything in particular? Bonus - If you have a photo of it let’s see!!

(Edited for wording)

I’m a 35-year-old single woman, and lately I’ve been wondering… is this just what life is supposed to feel like?

I’m not struggling financially in the sense that I can afford food, rent, and a decent life. My job isn’t terrible. I don’t love it, and it does create some stress, but it’s relatively easy, stable, and objectively probably considered a “good” job.

I live in a big city, so life is convenient. Anything is accessible. Restaurants, shopping, gyms, events, whatever. But rent is expensive, my apartment is small, the natural light isn’t great, and sometimes I just wonder… what am I actually paying for?

As I’ve gotten older, my friendships have naturally become fewer. I do enjoy being alone, and I’m comfortable with solitude, but sometimes I think: am I just paying a huge amount of money to live alone in a stressful city for no real reason?
Even the city lifestyle that used to feel exciting now just feels like… consumption. Spending money to distract myself. Cafes, shopping, eating out, repeating.

And sometimes I get this sudden feeling of emptiness, like:
What am I doing? What is all this for? Is this really how I want to spend my life?
The frustrating part is I don’t even know what I should change.
What I do know is that I want a life where my nervous system feels calm. Lately I’ve started feeling like just existing in a big city quietly drains me in ways I don’t even notice until I leave.
Does anyone else feel this way?
If you’ve gone through something similar, what changed for you? Did you move? Change jobs? Build community? Change your mindset?
I’d genuinely love to know how other people are actually living.

No job no friends no money no social life no savings and my favorite hobby is imagining scenarios in my head that will never happen I spend most of my time alone in my room and I struggle with intense constant loneliness It feels like I have no real connection to anyone like I’m completely on my own in this world The loneliness is heavy and persistent and it feels like nobody truly notices or understands me

I have really bad social anxiety so even simple interactions feel terrifying and exhausting to me I overthink everything I say I feel awkward around others and I honestly don’t even know how to make friends anymore I’ve been alone for so long that isolation feels normal now even though it hurts every day

Sometimes I feel ugly in every possible way not just physically but as a person too like there’s nothing interesting or lovable about me Seeing other people living normal lives going out having relationships and friends makes me feel even more disconnected from the world It feels like everyone else learned how to live properly while I stayed stuck behind

Days keep passing and nothing changes I still wake up feeling empty lonely and emotionally disconnected from everything around me Sometimes I genuinely wonder if it’s already over for me before my life even really started

As an HSP and recovering alcoholic, I know these as intertwined. After quitting drinking and starting AA—with a sponsor and the steps—I feel something vital is missing, likely because of my sensitivity. HSPs often drink to cope with stress, as I did.

I have not yet spoken to my sponsor (who I think is not an HSP) about this and now wonder whether to seek one who understands it. Past mentions of HSP have gone nowhere—few recognize the term. I hesitate to raise it in meetings.

Has anyone experienced this?

I'm going to graduate from nursing school in a year but I'm worried if I can work as a nurse.

I'm sensitive to stress.

Doctor said when I'm stressed I get symptoms of depression and schizophrenia.

Also I have sensory sensitivity and I easily feel anxious.

I tried so hard to get through nursing school and I love nursing but I nearly died from an attempt because it was too stressful.

5 days a week seem too much for me but I want to be independent.

What should I do?

Hi.

Have you ever been hurt and felt so much pain inside for years that you've grown nihilistic, pessimistic, and cynical of pretty much... everything and everyone in the world? I come from a place of deep anger, hate, and sorrow, due to what one person did long ago in my life, and how it affected me. I don't hate the person; I hated what they did. And I cannot move on, I cannot feel real joy. All I ever feel is sadness, anger, and hatred for many things. I hate this world and my inability to grow or escape in it. I have literally nowhere to go in life, I have nowhere I truly want to go (except for Heaven), and I have nothing I want to do. I'm in my twenties, hyper-sensitive (I wouldn't post here otherwise).

I feel a deep, sharp, burning anger for what happened and how the people who toyed with me got away with it. I don't believe in revenge, personally, so I don't wish any of them ill intent or will. I just wish what happened had never happened, and as long as I live, the pain I have from it will never fade. I have come to a point in my life where I feel myself turning into a Scrooge, where I want nothing but to be miserable, because nothing in life brings me anything but misery. I've realised how many things in this world upset me, how many people, types of people, upset me, and how I upset myself and am an enemy to myself. I feel sick when people tell me to see a therapist or psychologist, because nothing is free, and there are people in these professions who will ruin your mental health more than help it. If I tell someone what I honestly think about something when I am asked to give a reason for my belief, and I simply state that I think it's bullshit (because I feel I don't need a valid reason to give over a personal matter, especially when I feel pressed/pressured to give one) the person will either insult me, or cut me out of their life. I generally hate the way most people behave, and how instantly they'd change tune over you if you don't agree with them or give them what they want. It is the same everywhere I go.

I worked for literally one week (retail job) and quit my job because emotionally/mentally I could not handle it. My job owner was an absolute jerk, and I swore to myself that if I didn't escape that place, I would either burn it down to the ground or do something more sinister that would land me a lifetime in prison. I thought about it logically, rationally, and kindly quit and wished everyone goodbye. I am now still unemployed, and I genuinely loathe the things I hear from others about work, like ''you don't work because you don't want to work''. I WANT to work, but if you're not hired, you don't get work. If you can't handle your job, it's not the work for you. What is, then? What is a job I could do? Comtemplating these things, over days, weeks, months, years, and still getting nowhere, meanwhile being told that it is my fault, makes me sick. I have attempted to take my life before, because of people who hurt me and gaslighted me (essentially, making me believe things were my fault when they weren't, almost like false accusations). These things can ruin a person, and it ruined me. Even today, I think of what bridge I can jump off from, what bottle of bleach I should drink, or what knife is best to use for slitting my wrists vertically. I have done neither yet, because I am sensitive to physical pain as well. My last attempt was an overdose, and luckily I felt no pain, but survived and woke up in the hospital.

My point is, I have slowly, over time, grown a strong hatred for the world, the way it operates, and how systematic events, people, and things often feel like they simply exist just to make my life worse. It is a mental Hell I struggle to escape, and one that often fluctuates. I am confident I don't have much time left, I am just not sure how I will go, whether by my hands or by accident, or by something of greater significane. I just wish I could sleep, and stay in that state. When I wake up, everything that I hate, everything that hurts, returns to me in full form, and I cannot help but think that maybe there is something either severely wrong with me, the world, or both.

I sometimes feel jealous of people who dont seem to get bothered by things like racism, sexism, or appearance based jokes. I also feel jealous of people who dont seem to bother about those things and just get by, so sometimes i feel like a weirdo for getting offended over those things as some of those can be applied to me as im an unattractive poc girl, everything those spaces tend to mock. I feel like a weirdo for being sensitive over this type of stuff.

My doctor said I have traits that makes my brain sensitive to stress and when I'm stressed, my bounderies get loose and I have symptoms of schizophrenia and depression.

I feel like someone is watching me or I have hallucinations.

I also have sensory sensitivity.

Does this mean I'm HSP?

Hi everyone,

I’m a deeply grateful for my life.

Recently, I discovered a person from my distant past had awakened something in me that had been dormant for a long time.

At first, I thought I was longing for this specific person.

But over time, I understood that the real longing is for a certain kind of inner experience and human connection.

This person reminded me of qualities that resonate with me deeply:

* Emotional warmth

* Psychological depth

* Intellectual curiosity

* Quiet understanding

* Kindness and gentleness

* Meaningful conversations

* Aesthetic sensitivity

* A calm presence

* The ability to connect without excessive talking

* Spiritual and existential reflection

Since then, I’ve found myself spending long periods in nature, listening to music, reflecting deeply, and feeling both sadness and a renewed sense of aliveness.

I understand that this connection may remain only a friendship and that I may never see this person again.

But I also feel that this experience revealed something important about what I truly value and the kind of people I feel most connected to.

I’m wondering:

* Have you experienced something similar?

* Did someone ever awaken a dormant part of you?

* Were you eventually able to find people who shared this kind of depth and sensitivity?

* Where do you meet people who value psychology, meaning, nature, beauty, and genuine connection?

I’m especially interested in connecting with people who appreciate:

* Psychology and self-understanding

* Deep and meaningful conversations

* Nature and contemplation

* Emotional intelligence

* Aesthetic and intellectual sensitivity

* Personal and spiritual growth

Thank you for reading.

I'm very sensitive to stress.

Especially when I have too many things to do, I get depressed and delusional or hallucinate.

How do you deal with this kind of stress?

I grew up and I felt things I dont understand, I cried for no reason, I remembered things I have no business remembering. And I hated it, I loathed it, i spat my spite at it and thought this is not me, it can't be, I was a rock, I was steady, I was firmly planted in the ground, I was the line you could count on, the wave that swallowed the fires, the light that pierced through the dark... and now, this is me? This... vulnerable, shaking, shivering, soul begging for someone to stay with me because it doesn't want to be alone. How can that be?

And then I looked, really looked. With an objective mindset removing the names, the places, the biases so I could truly look at it and for what it is... And what I saw shattered my deeply held beliefs, my core views of who I am, of what i believe, of what I dream of... it shook me awake and forced me to look at myself in the mirror seeing a stranger stare right back at me where my reflection used to be... this can't be me... it just can't... my world makes no sense, my pragmatism swallowed whole by sensitivity, my logical mind burned from the inside out by a heart that feels everything fully, my stoicism a paper illusion that crumbled before my eyes leaving nothing, absolutely nothing for me to hold in its place...

And now, alone in my living room, I sense everything, see everything, so much... so much it hurts... The unsaid hits me in the quiet innate bragging of people's words, the subtle tone switches revealing a person true feelings in spite of what their words might say

... and it hurts to live like this. It truly hurts, when you see your own heart pushing you away, telling you, screaming at you this person is not safe... they wont give you what you need, you will live another life of superficiality, you will live by them hoping to god one day you can just share your heart truly without having to worry, without having to apologize for what you feel, for what you are. I look at the world now... and it just hits different... like I am a witness to the world, watching the world slowly killing itself with pride, with lies, with conditions, with fake smiles, and my heart hurt a little bit more every single time.

Recently lost a best friend that shared this weight of the ultra aware. We would talk about those that are oblivious and seem happy as can be. To quote the Cure, those that couldn’t see “Into the trees”. I wish I could laugh at the small things instead of observe and catalog, not wear the weight of the room. After searching for “burden of awareness” landed me here. Anyone else share the feeling of I see or observe too much? I work in a very professional customer facing setting that I’m losing patience for, your ego and debt on your new car mean nothing to me. Emotional intelligence should be a high school course ha! Anyone else out there?

I can't look at a screen (be it a phone, tablet, computer, etc.) without my head and eyes starting to hurt.

Is this also the case with you?

Hi everyone. I’m a 23 year old woman, and I’m dealing with issues at my work. For context, I work at a small, family owned pool place, so there’s only around 7 people who work there, including me. I’ve worked there for a year now, so it’s not like I’m that new.

Anyway, my coworkers have seemed to have bonded over essentially bullying me. All of them love to gang up on me and mess with me, even my boss does it. They tease me about my looks, my clothes, my hair, whatever they can find. Every single thing about me is questioned and put under a microscope. If I slightly change my appearance at all, I’ll get comments on it. Even how I do my job or what I’m going to have for lunch that day is picked apart.

I’m a relatively small person, I’m 4’11” and pretty skinny, and I’m constantly teased for that too. They make jokes about how I’m not strong enough to lift certain things or how I need to start lifting some weights or eat more.

This is an every day thing. Every. Single. Day. I wore different tennis shoes yesterday, and within 30 seconds of me walking in the door that morning I was getting comments.

It’s really bothering me and getting to me mentally. I can’t even talk to my boss about it because he does it too. I’m so frustrated and angry and sad because of it, and part of me thinks maybe I’m being too sensitive.

I’m in the process of getting a new job, but it’s one that takes weeks to months to go through all the steps, and I’m not even guaranteed the job yet.

Basically I’m looking for advice on how to deal with it until I can get another job, or opinions if I’m being too sensitive.

TL;DR I’m basically being teased and bullied at my workplace about everything about me. What can I do?

I’m straight and having a hard time making friends. I can get along with people but I guess I have a sense that if I “reveal” or express or “live from” my full self, which includes sensitivity, that peoples reactions range from blankness to discomfort. I dont feel like people are “delighted to see me” if that makes sense.

What Im trying to figure out is whether/how much this is “my stuff” and how much is really out there. My sense is its hard as a straight man because a lot of straight men completely shut out this side of themselves due to homophobia/sexism. But Im wondering if theres more possibility than Ive realized.