r/hsp

Just wondering if anyone's reached saturation and just can't be a part of the human race anymore?

This community gets a lot of talk about sensory sensitivity, and sounds/textures/smells etc that they don't like, but I wanted to post something more positive and ask what are some of your FAVORITE sensory experiences? Like for me, I love bright colors, and I will often wear bright clothes, or clothes with lots of sparkles and decorations, etc. I also LOVE blankets, like I'm obsessed with them. Since childhood I've had this comforter that is made of a certain material (I still don't know what it is) and it is the softest thing ever, and to this day, I still don't like sleeping in anything else. For food, I mostly like soft/chewy foods, with strong flavor. I don't like crunchy things for the most part, (with the exception of chips/crisps, but crackers and ​​​overcooked/charred meat are a no-no.) And most likely I like my food drenched in sauce. I put extra chicken broth in my ramen because the packet they include isn't enough.​😂 Simple foods like grilled cheese (and bread...and cheese...😂) are too bland for me, I also love strong fragrances, like perfume. Anything ​sweet or floral. Lilac is my absolute FAVORITE, and I love the time in the spring when flowers finally start blooming

What are some of your favorite sensory things?😊👇🏼

Title. I have misophonia, so of course I hate repetitive noises, but I'm talking like repetition itself, literally ANYTHING that happens more than 3 times drives me nuts, people repeating themselves multiple times, hearing a song on repeat, or songs with choruses that are just the same phrase over and over again, (I literally have to edit out the choruses in some of my music) people struggling with something and doing something multiple times, eating the same food multiple days in a row etc. Like I was at the grocery store, at the self checkout, and this guy was struggling to scan a coupon that clearly didn't work, and he was at it for like 15 minutes and I literally had to turn around and not look at him, because I literally couldn't watch him keep doing that. One time at the dentist, the dentist kept tapping her thumb on my lip, as she was talking with my mom, (I'm guessing it was just like a "talking with her hands" kind of thing) and I literally had to reach out and grab her thumb to get her to stop. Another time someone was waving their arms in circles while holding the door open to kind of say "go ahead" and that made me mad too. I'm even sensitive to OTHER people having to repeat themselves sometimes. Like if I can't hear someone, and I have to say "what?" multiple times, I feel really bad. There are plenty of other examples but I don't want to bore you. I feel bad though because I know that stims or repetitive movements are common in the neurodivergent community, and I know it helps people. Can anyone else relate? Or is it just me?

There have been some horrible news stories which have triggered me particularly. One I cannot even repeat and another where a man was mauled to death by a tiger in Yorkshire zoo. It’s possible but not confirmed there were either learning difficulties or mental illness that made him jump in the enclosure. My big upset is the overall reaction to his death. People celebrating, calling him an idiot, Darwin Award, praying the tiger doesn’t get shot. Overall a real lack of compassion for a man who died horribly and an evident care for a tiger over a human being.

I don’t know the point of this post but I just feel alone in this low mood I’ve been put in

I know this sounds really ironic, a bunch of people so overstimulated by other people getting together with people just like them…

But I would actually like to meet other HSPs, because I struggle to connect with other types of people.

So is there some kind of online gathering community for HSPs?

I’m 21 years old, likely neurodivergent, and throughout my life, I’ve been mistreated by all sorts of people in various situations.

This led me to believe that being treated like trash is normal, and that you only deserve better once you’ve proven yourself worthy.

I don’t want to go on at length here or write an essay about every horrible thing I’ve been through, though there have been many. Of course, I’ve never had to deal with crime or poverty, and I know my experiences pale in comparison to that kind of trauma; still, I’ve endured things that affected my development as an individual, such as sexual harassment, emotional neglect, and therapeutic abuse.

I’ve been let down by dozens of people, leaving me bitter and deeply repulsed by humanity. It makes me wonder if, rather than having an inherently sensitive emotional trait, my personality has simply been diminished and brutalized.

When they come home from work and have had a sh!tty, and that energy fills every corner of the apartment....

How do you cope with it? It's like I feel the anger, rage, every slam of the cabinet, stomp on floor..all of it.

I've tried secluding/isolating myself, but it doesn't help. I feel anxiety now, when I didn't before. The passive/ aggressive too.

What is most exhausting is trying to hold back your tears with everything you've got. The first time, you might still manage, but with every subsequent time you fight them off, it gets harder and harder until eventually you just can't anymore. The tears have to come out.

Do you know what I mean?

I’m 25F from India. I completed my graduation and then started preparing for a government competitive exam, but I failed three times. Later, I began a postgraduate degree, but I couldn’t complete my dissertation. During that period, I became severely depressed and attempted to take my own life, although I survived.

I eventually became an atheist. I also don’t know why, but I often feel that people see me as stupid, take advantage of me, or treat me badly. I have a lot of empathy for animals and for people who are vulnerable or treated unfairly. When I see animals suffering or people being exploited, I think about it deeply and become emotionally affected.

I’m not particularly interested in movies, so I usually watch documentaries and read books. I’m especially interested in topics involving animals, human suffering, social problems, and the world in general.

My sister often criticises me for being unemployed while spending so much time thinking about animals and problems in the world. I understand that being unemployed is something I need to address, but her criticism doesn’t motivate me. Instead, it makes me feel ashamed, destroys my self-esteem, and makes me feel even less capable of becoming independent.

My mother is also emotionally immature, so I don’t feel that I can have a meaningful conversation with her about these things. I have no close friends to talk to about what I’m experiencing.

Because conversations with my sister and mother so often leave me feeling hurt or criticised, I’m considering limiting my conversations with them to things that are necessary.

I’m not sure whether I’m being overly sensitive or whether I’m setting a reasonable boundary. Has anyone experienced something similar—being unemployed, highly sensitive to suffering, and having family members constantly criticise them for what they care about?

What helped you deal with the criticism without completely losing your self-esteem?

As HSPs, we feel everything deeply, and relationship conflicts often leave us completely overwhelmed and hurt.

​Is it better for us to stay out of relationships altogether to protect our peace? Do you agree, or how do you make relationships work without getting hurt?

I'm willing to bet this rant has been ranted before on this community. But, oh well.

I'm just so f'in tired. I can't seem to switch my brain off.

I consider myself rather strongly on the HSP spectrum. I am no genius but at the same time well above the average IQ, a polymath(strong talents in music, hunting, fishing, and a few professional settings just as an example. I learn fast, and i can become far above average skilled at most things with little effort. I have always been highly valued by my employers, and i tend to end up in positions that require independent, reliable people.) I'm HIGHLY intuitive, and to top it all off, i have severe ADHD. People seem to find me rather intense and intellectually intimidating.

When i am in control of my anxiety and rumination i tend to naturally draw in peoples attention and attraction. I have quick wit and tend to control the flow of group conversations without even trying since i tend to talk about my interests with enthusiasm and charm. Not to mention im always happy to share my experiences, lend an empathetic ear and empower other people. I sincerely enjoy watching people grow on a personal level and if i can do something that doesn't cost me too much of myself to push people on their way i happily will.

BUT. Theres always a but. I also tend to attract the attention of negative and envious people. And to add insult to injury im usually very quick to spot these people out, their toxic patterns and behaviours. It's just so absolutely frustrating to watch people fall for their bs over and over. The toxic leader that surrounds themselves endlessly with weak yes men and pushes away any independent thinkers and highly competent people. The married man who just became a father a few months ago flirting with women much younger than him despite being in a relationship, having responsibilities towards his infant and wife just to go put his fake charm on late teen/early 20s girls that don't have the life experience to see through his severely insecure charm and how hes using them to fill the emptiness in his soul. The cool "alpha dog" that obviously has never healed his inner child, creates a tough guy immage and his ego so fragile he's willing to enforce that immage with violence. The flaky girl hitting on me, leaving me breadcrumbs(and shes probably doing it to 4-5 other guys ATLEAST at the same time, they always leave subtle clues and inconsistencies in the words they say over time they think i dont notice) for validation at her behest only to end up staring at me from afar with the most puzzled look after her usual hot and cold manipulative tactics have no effect on me. Thinking i dont see her in my peripheral vision(when you're raised to go out hunting from a very young age, you unconsciously start paying more attention to your peripheral vision)

I just can't stop noticing these things. And the older i get, the easier it is to spot. Toxic people tend to go for me socially and professionally, most day's when im energetic and focused, i'll shoot them down easily like modern FLAK would a ww1 biplane. But it wears me down. It frustrates me and angers me. Eventually ill have no energy left and ill have to withdraw.

I also feel like im at a different wavelength than most people. I feel like i can understand the thought patterns of others rather easily and the motives behind them while when i speak openly about my thoughts and values people seem confused and perplexed, like it doesn't make the slightest sense. Yet i'm the one getting good pay, living a comfortable life, having exposable income for my hobbies. I dont need an expensive car, i dont spend alot on drinking and partying, i dont put money into drugs or online gambling. And that somehow perplexes people. I hate drama, avoid codependency yet i seek out healthy social interactions, which feel few and far between most of the time. When i was a child i rarely enjoyed talking with same age peers, it didnt stimulate my mind so i ended up ostracized.

In the end i have no idea where im headed with this. Im just so tired and lonely, tbh. Even when surrounded by people. Im not sure which feels worse, being alone for weeks on end or being surrounded by people but feeling like im stranded alone on an island inside my head.

Anyways, if anyone bothered reading this, thank you. I needed to rant.

Hi

I'm a 30F getting to know a guy (37M). He was introduced through my BIL, who knows him and everyone around me only speaks well of him. We've been exchanging for a week now.

On paper it's genuinely good. I like a lot of things about him, he's mature, exercise a lot, he's simple, religious, same ethnicity as me, like to do activities. When he takes time to respond I'm getting a bit irritated because I enjoy talking with him.

He asks the compatibility questions kids, lifestyle, whether I work out, medication vs natural remedies, that kind of thing. But he doesn't really get curious about me as a person. I mentioned I lived abroad for two years, no follow-up. I told him I run my own business, no "why did you start?", nothing. When I open up or lead, he engages, but he rarely reaches for the deeper layer himself. Otherwise, if he says 1 thing to me I can ask him 4 questions because I really want to understand him.

I'm taking long-term compatibility seriously but I also need to feel there's a real connection, because being matched "on paper" isn't what carries a relationship. The piece I feel is missing is intellectual stimulation maybe ? I love talking about politics, economics, society, ideas or even my job, I think I love people who are passionate about something and I'm not sure that's his thing. As an HSP you know how deep things need to be for us. I can't only talk about what I want in a marriage, I want him to care and be curious about me as an individual.

I also wonder if he's intentionally keeping things from drifting into casual "chit-chat" because we're both religious. I'm naturally a bit more relaxed in conversation because it's important to feel if it's clicking between us so maybe I'm reading restraint as a lack of depth when it isn't.

I thought about telling him I needed more from him in a few weeks because it's too early but I wonder if I should end it now.

I’m tired of the downvotes, the negativity, and people turning simple topics into heated arguments. I might end up completely alone without this app, but it’ll be better than staying here.

I joined Reddit to make friends, find cool communities, and so on, but unfortunately, on this app, even the good things end up turning bad. I don't want to deal with trolls, pseudo-intellectuals, and horrible people anymore when I'm just posting with the intention of interacting.

Maybe now I’ll pay more attention to things in my real life.

30F. I am highly educated with a MSc and BSc with distinction passes. I started a teaching job last January and quit yesterday without notice because they didn't confirm me as permanent. So I was free to leave without notice. I'm an INFJ, HSP and get drained by offices to the point I get actual panic attacks and gets sick. So I don't want to ever work in corporate jobs ever again.

Several people have left this school with no notice at all. Just ghosted due to severe overworking and bullying.

I am not going to believe i can properly convey to you internet people out there all the extensive journey my life has been. A lot has happened, and I am reallt extremely discouraged, not for the first time. In recent years, chronic illness worsened, and i had to make difficult decisions around choosing to change my higher ed experience and some of my work to being 100% remote (and often asynchronous). All this while i am an incredibly kinesthetic, physical-interaction-oriented person and learner and relater. Being surrounded by screens as a means of conencting is really, really f*cked up for me, and feels upside down in what i need, yet my disabiltiies have made me make this choice. I can no longer go many of the places I used to go due to health issues. Thankfully there are still some options, but I am also very limited by fairly severe poverty. I am still housed for the time being and a shining light of sorts is graduating from my masters program, expected in May 2027. But of course then there will be new work and new extremely creative resourcing required of me, to be my incredibly "different" self and be able to make stable income so I can make more of my life and self beyond just surviving.

I am 38 years old and I am not newly self aware, far from newly aware of being HSP. I have no family support and no savings left. I have no friends or partners or family who are consistently available, emotionally attuned with me, who i feel understood by this is not because i haven't tried - believe me when o say that. I am constantly putting myself out there is a variety of social and volunteer and community situations for years. Yet, like i mentioned, due to factors somewhat outside of my control, my social isolation and loneliness only increase.

This week has been severe. It had hit me over the head with loneliness, reinforcement of my odd-one-out-ness, my darkening isolation. Every person i have tried to connect with emotionally, maturely, kindly, genuinely in the last... decade... has not worked out, has let me down, has not really seen or understood me. All different kinds of connections with different potentials, but all not really serving my (and perhaps their) heart, at least in terms of maintaining connection or going deeper.

When does it get better? No one here knows that - im not asking you. I am at a total loss. Mental health and su__ide hotlines in this country are a complete joke; believe me ive tried turning to them. Its like turning to a primitive bot for emotional support. (I see two therapists currently) And my needs are refined, rich, complex, as a HSP (and a million other specialized labels) human in our time.

Will it only continue to get lonelier in this life, despite my best efforts? My life is just dread after disappointment after isolation, against and again, especially this week. I dont really understand what to do differently. I can weather the pain. I can sit with it, through it. Ive done it so many times before. But it is encroaching and taking over. To be honest I feel sometimes like my mental coherence, stability, and memory are breaking down from the incredible stress I have been under so consistently, for so long. Like I cant think clearly like I once could comparatively. Like, I could somehow lose my groundedness in reality or lose a semblance of sanity. I fear that a bit; ive had ample examples of that in my life in others ive known intimately (mostly earlier in my life). I want to give up on all of it but I knoe that'd be more of a nightmare. Bills have to be paid and no one else will provide the money to pay them. Everything hurts. I want to scream and wail out all my grief in a wholesome place that i cant find. I want to contribute to the greater good for people like us who feel and know and intuit so much richness, I want to last long enough to leave a legacy of wisdom and insight and healing for others in my wake. I havent had a chance to do that yet i dont think - ive been grappling with survival. Humans arent supposed to be this alone. Not that any of you can really help, and I despise unsolicited advice (there's a whole lot you dont know of what I have done and been through) but I need help, like divine help, like deep shifts, liberation that I am not sure will ever happen.

I wish I had safe and stable arms to wail into, to be held by, to know im understood there.

I hope i dont trigger anyone else but:

What is it about me that cannot stand those conversations. Like I literally cannot fathom how people openly say ”I need to go wash my *ss/balls” as a term for bathing. Or things like “swamp ass” in conversation etc.

I’m as sexual and foul mouthed as the next guy, but I cannot stand hearing other people talk about their sexual encounters and dealings. I find it strange how normal it can be for others, these days ladies are super open about it too. “I need my *ss ate” etc. or “I would drink her bath water”

maybe childish but I do not even want to think about anyone else using the bathroom, especially any partner. Hate hearing peoples piss flow. Hate using the bathroom after someone has blown it up. These things are fine, I just don’t want to know nor be around.

recently heard another dude say they never want to see their girls used underwear left in the bathroom. Extreme but I kinda got it…

i have a “phobia” of smelling other peoples private parts (as in smelling it from afar, not actually directly going down for a sniff). I find it weird when guys openly talk about their girls “smell“ and vice versa.

maybe it’s a childhood trauma, my parents were great but wetting the bed or shitting myself was just like a nightmare to me so I grew out of those things very quick.

its nothing to do with shyness or inexperience trust me, it’s also an expectation I like to uphold myself not just others. No misogyny. It‘s partly sensitivity to smell and hygiene…a smell alone can piss me off/put me off so it’s strange when people are so casual about it.

I don’t know…just wondering who else is out there that understands, and how you deal with it.

It's okay when I'm at home and eating my own things, but the moment I step outside it's huge ads for chicken wings, burgers, steaks, milk in literally everything. It's inescapable reminders of the unfathomable scales of animal cruelty everywhere I look. I almost burst into tears today after a day out because it was just too much!! And the horrible bizarre space of how normalised it all is compared to how overwhelmed I was feeling, and watching everyone just living and accepting it. I felt like I was going insane wanting to cry for trying to find something to eat.