r/RelationshipIndia

Me \[25M\] and my wife \[24F\] come from middle-class families. We decided to marry impulsively without knowing each other well. Within 1.5 months, we got married, and we both took a stand for each other. She even left her job as an air hostess to be with me.

We lived together for 1.5 months, but her expectations of an expensive lifestyle, international travel, and a ₹25L car started putting financial pressure on me. Eventually, she went to her parents' house.

Yesterday, I went to convince her to return, but she said she's not ready for marriage and wants to live freely without the marriage tag. However, she was still kissing me and sitting in my lap in front of her parents.

I'm confused. How can someone show so much love while saying they don't want to continue the marriage? Does she love me but feel overwhelmed by marriage, or has she changed her mind?

Hello! I would like any advice or comments regarding my situation.

I (23 yo female, non-traditionally practicing muslim) started dating my bf (24 yo male, traditionally practicing Hindu) about four months ago. We met on a dating app and got to know each other over a few months and then started dating not long ago.

He's a great guy, and we get along well. This is the healthiest relationship I have ever been in, and up until a few months ago, I didn't have many worries. Within the last 2 months of dating, I've started to think about our relationship long-term. From the moment I met him, I knew I could see a future with him, but I think I had some rose colored glasses on and was overlooking some things that we should've discussed further prior to making it official.

1. His family is a pretty traditional Hindu family and his parents were an arranged marriage.
2. He's not "allowed" to date while he's in grad school.
3. He lives at home with his family while he's in grad school.
4. He wants to raise his kids Hindu.

These are the main "concerns" that I have been thinking through. Starting with 1 and 4, I didn't know that his family was pretty traditional until around 1 month into dating. They would likely prefer him to be with a Hindu girl and one who can probably carry on the role that his mom has, which is cook, clean, and the daily spread of the gods (I'm not sure of the proper way to say this, so please let me know). I've discussed this with him, and he tells me that is parents probably prefer that, but he's never talked to them about having a gf before, so he's not sure; from context clues, I've put this together. He has said this isn't important to him since he believes that we can be together even though we aren't the same religion, although he would like to raise his kids Hindu. This brings up another point: his family dislikes Muslims because of the historical context. He tells me that he has friends who are Muslim that his family likes, but I assume they wouldn't be okay with him marrying a Muslim. Again, he can't answer this because he's never had that conversation with them. Point 2 and 3 go together. From the start of us talking, he's told me that his parents can't know about our relationship, and maybe in the moment I didn't think that was going to be a big deal. Now I'm realizing that it's harder than I expected since there is no definite timeline as to when I can be introduced. He mentioned having me meet them in 2-3 years..which he knows I am not fully on board with. Him living at home with his family also makes this hard because he can't sleep over and has to lie to them about his whereabouts in order to see me. Also, another small thing is he's vegetarian, and my family and I eat beef and other meats often, which is minuscule, but it could be a challenge in everyday life.

We've had conversations about these things multiple times, and during our first conversation I asked him what he would do if his parents didn't approve of our relationship, even if we were dating for 2-3 years before I met them (side note: I would have to be introduced as a "new" girlfriend and they can't know we were dating beforehand), and he said we would have to separate. This, of course, was hard to hear because after 2-3 years I would expect my bf to stand up for our relationship. I assume this is a cultural thing, though and that his family will always come first before any relationship or what he truly desires for himself. Since then, we've had multiple conversations, and he's said that he wouldn't break up if they didn't approe and that he didn't think it through..But I feel like he's just telling me what I want to hear since I was visibly upset about his previous statement.

I guess this leaves me with the question...Is this a realistic relationship for me to stay in? I love him deeply, but I also have to love myself and protect my future. As selfish as it sounds, I don't want to commit 2-3 years of my life to someone who won't stand up for me if needed and leave me high and dry.

Just as an FYI my family would support our relationship.

Edit: I am also his first gf and we live in the US

I appreciate any advice, wisdom, thoughts, and help you can offer me. Thank you!

So I was hanging out with some friends recently, and we were just joking around about relationships and stuff. The topic of NNN (No Nut November) came up because it's just next month and someone joked that we all better start preparing for it.

Without really thinking much of it, I chimed in and said, "Don't worry, that's never an issue for me since I haven't masturbated in my life and probably never will." Instantly, absolute dead silence followed by everyone bursting out laughing. They genuinely thought it was a joke. When they realized I was completely serious, about half of them thought I was lying just to mess with them while the other half started roasting me. One of them even pulled me aside later and said that if I ever get into a serious relationship, I should probably take that secret to the grave because a girl might think "there's something wrong with me."

Ngl, hearing that kind of messed with my head and made me feel super under confident. Is it really that weird? Am I the only one who hasn't done this?

I’m 28F and have been with my boyfriend for 4 years. He’s from UP I’m from Assam, and we’re serious and want to get married.

My mom recently found out and it’s been… insane. She’s been crying/screaming for hours, saying I’ve brought shame to the family, calling me disgusting, saying she’d rather I never marry than marry him. She keeps talking about “honour” and how this could ruin everything.

Now she’s also convinced that if I leave him, he’ll retaliate and hurt me. She keeps saying we should all go back home to my dad and “face whatever happens.”

The thing is, he has literally never been angry with me in 4 years. No threats, aggression, violence, controlling behaviour, nothing. So I don’t know what she’s basing this fear on.

And I think I’m realising something bigger through all of this. I’ve basically never been able to have a difficult conversation with my mom my entire life. If something upsets her, she gets extremely emotional and I end up going quiet, trying to calm her down, and waiting for it to pass.

Yesterday she cried for hours. This morning she woke me up crying hysterically and at one point became so breathless she wasn’t responding to me for a few seconds. She recovered, but it scared the shit out of me.

I love my mom. I know she genuinely thinks she’s protecting me. But I’m also so fucking angry and exhausted. It feels like I’m being asked to give up my relationship because she cannot emotionally handle my decision.

I genuinely don’t know how to deal with this without either breaking myself or giving in.

**TL;DR:** My mom found out about my 4-year relationship with a guy she strongly disapproves of and has completely spiralled. She thinks he’ll hurt me if I leave him despite him never showing any threatening behaviour. I’ve realised I’ve never been able to have difficult conversations with her because she becomes so emotionally overwhelmed. I love her, but I’m exhausted and don’t know how to handle this.

I (19M) accidentally found out my girlfriend of 5 months and my best friend were betraying me. Now my entire friend group is picking sides.

​I’m typing this from a local café because my phone won't stop ringing and I need to get this off my chest before I completely lose my mind.

​Some background: My best friend—let’s call him Rohan—and I have been inseparable for over four years. We did everything together: gym, gaming, late-night food runs, you name it. He was basically family to me. Five months ago, I started dating "Riya," a girl from a nearby college. Rohan was the first person I told, and when they met, they clicked instantly.

​At first, I thought I was the luckiest guy alive. My girlfriend got along great with my best friend, and our whole social circle felt super tight.

​Then small things started feeling off around two months ago.

​Rohan would randomly show up at places where Riya and I were hanging out, claiming he was "just in the area." Riya started wearing a specific silver chain that I’d never seen before, claiming her cousin gifted it to her. Rohan suddenly started going to the gym at weird hours and getting defensive whenever I asked why he was cancelling our usual weekend plans.

​Whenever the three of us hung out, there was this subtle inside-joke vibe between them that made me feel like a third wheel in my own relationship. But anytime I mentioned it to Riya, she’d laugh it off and say, "You're being paranoid, he's like a brother to me."

​The truth came out two days ago on Friday night.

​A group of us went out to a local place to celebrate a friend’s birthday. Rohan was there, Riya was there. Around 11 PM, Rohan said he felt sick, paid his share, and left early. About twenty minutes later, Riya said her phone battery was dead, slipped out to "use the restroom," and didn't come back for 15 minutes.

​I got concerned, took her portable charger from my jacket, and went toward the hallway near the back exit to check on her.

​As I walked down the dimly lit corridor near the staff door, I saw two people standing close together in the shadow. I paused, thinking it was just another couple. Then I recognized the jacket—it was Rohan’s oversized jacket that he had supposedly worn home.

​He hadn't left. He was standing there with Riya.

​Before I could even process what I was seeing, I heard her whisper, "He has no idea. Just wait until next weekend when he's out of town."

​My blood turned to ice. I didn't yell or make a scene. I walked straight up to them, pulled out my phone, and turned on the flashlight directly into their faces.

​The look of sheer, pale terror on Rohan's face is something I’ll never forget. Riya froze, trying to stammer out a lie, but I didn't give them the chance. I looked Rohan dead in the eye and said, "Four years, man."

​I turned around, walked back to the table, grabbed my jacket, and left the restaurant without saying a word to the rest of the group.

​Within an hour, my phone blew up. Riya sent a wall of text claiming "it was just a stupid mistake" and that "nothing physical happened" (which is a complete lie based on what I saw). Rohan sent a pathetic 3-page paragraph blaming alcohol and begging me not to tell our mutual friends.

​I didn't reply to either of them. Instead, I dropped a screenshot of Rohan's confession text into our main group chat with 8 of our closest friends and simply typed: "Good luck to both of you."

​Now the entire group is fractured. Half of them are completely disgusted with Rohan and have kicked him out of the group, while a couple of guys are telling me I "handled it too harshly" by publicly exposing them instead of handling it privately.

​I blocked Riya everywhere. I haven't spoken to Rohan since Friday. I feel completely numb, betrayed by my two favorite people at the exact same time. How do you ever trust anyone again after this?

​

We dated for 6 months and so many things happened which made me understand that we are not right for each other. So I broke up with him. He talked so bad with me after the break-up , cursed me saying may your next relationship teach you a lesson, called me selfish, said that I abandoned him, said I never loved him. He also told some lies beforehand and in his defence he did it so that I don't leave him. It does sound bad right? But it was my first ever relationship. Everything was first. Me loving someone, caring for someone this much and all those things. I would never deny that he didn't care for me at all. So many hard times were there when he was the one on whom I relied the most and he embraced me with warmth.

So after the breakup I got devastated. Maintained 2weeks of no contact. I started to get anxiety from June/ July itself. But after the breakup it got worse. Very worse. At a point, I couldn't control myself anymore. I called him after 2 weeks and broke down in front of him. I was seeing nightmares and my health was in such a bad condition that I thought maybe if I talk with him, maybe if I say to him what was wrong and all that it'd be okay. On call, he was chill. When I cried he calmed me down in the same way he used to. We started talking again. It's been 5 days. We are talking and calling once at night. Yes I have even told him I still love him and I miss him. While crying. But I don't want to go back although I want to. Because I know if I go back everything will be repeated.

Well he said he isn't thinking much anymore. But his actions do tell me he still loves me a lot just like I do.

My heart breaks everyday. I can't even sleep properly. My chest feels tight all the time. I wake up with anxiety.

I don't think what we are doing is right. People will advise to keep distance only because this will create more emotional attachment but idk why it is so hard. Everyday I feel like crying. Sometimes I even thought of forgetting everything about the past but I can't do that either because it was too cruel for me.

It's so ironic that I'm really sick rn and he caught a cold too and we are both caring for each other so much that it would seem like two people are still in that relationship. People say he didn't really love you. Idk. But my foolish heart says he does love me. I love him too. But it's just we aren't right for each other.

Husband and I are trying for a kid but our relationship doesn't seem healthy enough for one

Need some help with marriage

Salam everyone, I (27f) am married to my husband (31M) and we have been having regular arguments since the last 1 year and seeking advice relating to that.

Posting from a friend's alt id because my husband is on reddit

We have been married for 3 years now,and we never had a very smooth marriage ever since we got married but in the last 1 year things have been worse,he always had anger issues and about a week after marriage he yelled at me infront of the entire family for the chores not done properly as I was having trouble adjusting in a newer environment and wasn't very efficient at that,I also wanted to teach in a school nearby but in-laws and him were not ready for it and we had a lot of arguments about that too.

Last year he was going through some stress regarding his workplace and I agree I could have been better to him in that phase but I couldn't and one night he just erupted (in January 2026) about some silly mess ups I did but later he brought up a lot of things I had done wrong in the past 2 years and most of our arguments too and he also brought up that I never am an active candidate in the bedroom either (I had never finished with him in the bedroom so I was never excited for it)so I calmed him down and started to be extra careful with the arguments and chores and also started taking active participation in the bedroom and about a week later he was repeatitvely asking me about how I feel being intimate with him and I gave him a satisfactory answer but he thought I was lying and kept asking again and again all throughout next month if I feel fully happy with it and I told him that I don't and he asked for what he could do better and I suggested alternative methods to which he got furious and questioned my character and after that he left the house

He came home in the morning and was visibly sad,I sat with him apologised and things seemed to get better but even now whenever we argue he brings that up and that hurts me

I've seen erotic content in his phone too and I feel like it's because he doesn't feel satisfied with me and I've really been suffering with that

Now we're trying to have a kid but I feel anxious thinking about our relationship and if we're ready to have a child

So I ask my fellow brothers and sisters about how can I put his mind at rest and be more ready for a kid as a couple