r/dating_advice

I recently started dating a woman I genuinely liked, and things seemed to be going in a good direction. I was interested in getting to know her on a deeper level, seeing where things could go, and potentially building something serious with her. However, she told me that she isn’t completely healed yet and that she still has some things to work through emotionally. I respect her honesty, and I don’t want to pressure her into a relationship she isn’t ready for. At the same time, it’s a little disappointing when you meet someone you see potential with, only to realize that the timing might not be right. Part of me wants to be patient and give her the space she needs, because I understand that healing takes time. But another part of me knows that I can’t put my own feelings and needs on hold waiting for someone to be ready. I don’t want to try to fix her, rush her healing, or convince her to choose me. I want a woman who genuinely wants to be with me and is emotionally ready to build something together.

For those of you who have been in a similar situation, I have a few questions:
When someone tells you they aren’t completely healed, do you take that as a sign to walk away or give them time?
Have any of you dated someone who wasn’t fully healed and eventually built a healthy relationship with them?
Is it possible to be patient with someone while still protecting your own feelings?
Would you continue getting to know her without expectations, or would you step back completely?
I’m trying to approach this with maturity and understanding rather than taking it personally. I genuinely liked this woman, but I also understand that having feelings for someone doesn’t automatically mean the timing is right.

I’d appreciate hearing from people who have experienced this, especially those who have been on either side of the situation.

Update: haven’t talked to her for a week. Been focusing on myself and all I post a video on facebook story and saw that she hearted the video

I (M36) saw an old colleague of mine (F30) on a dating app the other day and I deliberately did not match with them because I thought it would be weird. We used to work in the same office around 4-ish years ago and I've always had a thing for her, but I was in a committed relationship with another woman at the time. Now that I'm single and dating I started thinking about her in the context of old crushes I used to have and then, amazingly and out of the blue, she popped up on the dating app I was on the other day. I have her cell number from the time when we used to work together, so I went ahead and texted her to see if we could catch up sometime soon. She said yes, but I didn't mention the dating app sighting, nor did I mention that I'm single yet. As of right now I'm pretty sure she just thinks this is a friendly catch-up session with an old work colleague. I don't want to creep her out when I go see her in person to catch-up, but I also don't want to withhold the fact that a) I saw her profile on the dating app, b) I'm now single, c) I have always been attracted to her, and d) I would like to ask her out. How do I talk to her about all items a-d in that list without coming across like a creep and messing this whole thing up? Do I call her before we have our catch-up meeting? Do I text her this info before we meet? Do I wait until we're together in-person to tell her all these things? Do I even tell her the first time we meet or do I wait until after we see each other to lighten the shock? What's the best approach? Thanks everyone.

i’m 23F and i’m hoping to get back into dating, but honestly, i feel like i have no idea what i’m doing lol. i’d really appreciate advice from people with more experience, especially anyone who’s dealt with anxiety or chronic illness while dating.

i use hinge, but i’ve only ever met one person from the app. we went on three dates before things fizzled out (he didn’t see things continuing with my situation), so i’m still pretty inexperienced. i overthink everything during the talking stage, like how much to text, what to ask, how long to talk before meeting, and whether someone is actually interested. i know people say you shouldn’t text for too long before meeting because you want things to talk about in person, but i’m socially anxious and tend to work myself up so much before leaving the house that sometimes it becomes difficult to actually go through with plans. this was one of my biggest struggles with the last person i dated.

i also have a chronic illness that makes planning dates unpredictable, and i live in a small town, so having a bigger dating pool means driving about an hour. i have ARFID, which makes restaurant dates difficult, too. i don’t currently work because of my health, and sometimes i worry that i’ll seem boring or won’t have much to talk about because my day-to-day life is pretty limited.

i’ve spent the last few years mostly stuck at home because of my illness and not having a car, but i’m finally mobile again and able to start going out and doing things. i think that’s a big part of why i’m ready to try dating now. i want to meet people, experience a relationship, and get my life back after feeling like i’ve missed out on so much.

i know my life hasn’t followed the typical timeline of going from high school to a career and then finding someone, but i genuinely feel ready to be part of someone else’s life and let them be part of mine. i’ve been through a lot with my health and other challenges, and those experiences have taught me a lot about myself. i’m not saying i have everything figured out, and i already go to therapy, but i don’t think i need to have a career or overcome every struggle before i can be a good partner. i’m not looking for people to tell me to fix myself before dating; i want to learn how to navigate dating with the life i have.

i’d especially love advice on:
- how to navigate the talking stage, texting, and knowing when to meet in person.
- red flags and green flags, and how to recognize someone who’s genuinely compatible with you.
- setting boundaries, avoiding unhealthy relationships, and not settling just because you want love.
- handling dating anxiety and explaining health limitations without scaring someone off.
- dating when you don’t work/feel like your life isn’t as exciting as everyone else’s.
- finding ways to plan dates that work around anxiety, chronic illness, or food limitations.

if you’ve been through something similar, or you have advice you wish you’d known when you first started dating, i’d genuinely love to hear it. i want to give myself a real chance at finding a healthy relationship, and i’d rather learn from other people’s experiences than keep overthinking everything on my own.

i know there’s a lot of context to my situation, so if anyone has questions or wants me to elaborate on anything, i’m happy to answer in the comments!

TL;DR: i’m 23F getting back into dating after years mostly stuck at home because of chronic illness and not having a car. i’m inexperienced with hinge, overthink texting and meeting people because of social anxiety, have unpredictable health limitations and ARFID, live an hour away from a bigger dating pool, and don’t currently work. despite all of that, i genuinely feel ready for a relationship and want practical advice on navigating dating, recognizing red flags, setting boundaries, and finding someone compatible. i already go to therapy, so i’m looking for actual dating advice rather than being told to fix myself first.

I am a 37 year old woman, I have a stable job and currently working towards my BA. I have a home, own a car, and financially doing okay, a single mother of 2 and yet I cannot find a man that will complete me. I have been single going on 5 years now. Been divorced, I’ve tried dating apps, going on nature walks, bars, even groceries stores. But it seems that I am a woman who is non approachable, I usually smile at everyone and greet them. I honestly don’t know what I am doing wrong or if I am doing enough. I hate matching with men and having to start all over again and again, it’s gotten boring honestly. I know what I want and need from a man to make me happy, and apparently it’s asking to much (having consistency in communication, loyal, trustworthy, loving and patient ) according to these men I ask for too much. Do you believe in generational trauma? My GMA and mother had it bad, do you think it’s passed on me to me as well, or is it just me and am I at this breaking point where I don’t think I’ll ever find the man I so much desire? Why are men not chivalrous any more?

So i am m25 and have meet a Girl (20) 8 months ago.

we started out as friends, she had a Boyfriend at the time. 6 months ago she broke Up and we rapidly started to spent more and more time together leading towards an f+.

She Always Said she only wants f+ and nothing more. At the same time we have an insane Chemistry and she started pulling me closer and Close to a point where WE basically spent every day together.

There we're many very intimate Moments but she Always Said that she doesnt want a relationship.

Then she started tinder on the side (she started that she is Just doing it for fun and to go in cute Dates without wanting something more). She started Texting with a guy morenfrequently and at that point i started to realized that i am in Love.

I dealt very badly with the Situation and kinda spiraled because i didnt like her writing with the other Guy. Managed to get people of a shared friendgroup upset which later resulted in me getting kicked out.

Then i pulled the Plug and Said i cant deal with IT anymore. Basically going no contact with her. She was away for a month where she was in vacation.

During this time there where several Signal that she still payed Attention to me like refollowing my insta, regularly visiting my Stories etc.

After she returned, the shared friendgroup saw me together with another Girl (Just a friend although they didnt know at the time). She texted me at the Same day and i got kicked out of the friendgroup the Same day.

She in her Part wanted to be Friends again, WE started going to the Gym again and 2 days.later she asked me If i want the f+ again. That was 2 weeks ago.

WE started seeing each other again not AS often AS before but still Like 4 Times a week.

WE Text every day and she is calling. Also she stoped writing with anyone else etc.

She told me again that she doesnt want a relationship even though i am fine atm with the f+ (Düring the no contact month i lost the majority of my Feelings even though i am aware that i still have them in General)

At the Same time she droped things like she isnt really acting like she is single, or that she really likes me. That she feels very lonely when we arent writing.

When i told her that i plan to Stop having the f+ when i realized that my Feelings get too strong she told me that is a good solution. Later she Said again she really likes me. I replied i like you as well.

She then told me that i am Not alliwed to do that because i told her i would leave her If i Like her.

She told me a day later that when she thinks of beeing in an Relationship she feels like she isnt free and that it makes her panic as well. She told me she would Like to try to Text me less AS an Experiment If she can manage that.

She also explained to me that she is a Person that always need a Person that listens to her and that i am that Person at the Moment. She then asked me If the f+ IS a Bad Idea and that she Just wants to be friends but then said basically sek later that IT wasnt a fully formed thought and that we should continue.

She pushed me and Said i should still Date and that i am free to look around. Even told me that she would liem to See me find someone Else but when i pointed Out that if i find someone else WE would prolly Stop seeing each other

she told me that she thought that we are very good Friends in the first place and the + Part is a Side Thing and that she doesnt See why we would stop meeting 4 Times a week. I explained then that it would be disrespectful to any Partner to still See a f+ especially one so recent.

She accepted that but went very quiet after. Got a call later that evening where WE talked 1 hrs about very irrelevant stuff.

At this Point i am completly confused Like i dont know what is going on in her head. I dont even know what i want at this Point i am activly trying to meet with other persons while maintaing the f+ with her. But i still Love her to some degree and would very much Like a relationship with her.

(I am aware enough though that i would end contact with her if i find someone else because Nobody Else deserves a Partner with that constelation)

Any advice what IS going on/ how i can Tell what she is thinking/ what i can do to resolve that?

I’m 29M, she’s 27F and we’ve been seeing each other for about 5 weeks. We’ve had 6 dates and recently agreed to focus on each other.

She invited me to her friend’s birthday this weekend. One of her friends looked at me and said “oh you’re Sunday guy” then immediately looked like she shouldn’t have said it.

She explained that early on, her friends called me Sunday guy because most of our dates happened on Sundays.

I asked her about it later. She said it was just a nickname they came up with after our second date.

Now I’m wondering if there were Monday guy, Friday guy etc. I know we weren’t exclusive then and she could date whoever she wanted.

What bothers me is finding out I had a label in their group chat. It made me feel like I was one of several guys being compared. She thinks I’m reading too much into it.

Would you ask more about it or leave it alone?

Me (23M), there's a girl (25F) I'm dating. We've been chatting since July and started seeing each other in September. Sometimes, she suddenly goes dry over text, even right after a wonderful date, but then she goes back to being fully engaged again.

Whenever we meet, though, we always make out, kiss, and act all lovey-dovey. We also exchange gifts. When I was travelling to another city to see my favourite band, she gifted me a T-shirt of the band along with a sweet handwritten note. In return, I brought her chocolates and a plushie from the trip.

I'm confused by the inconsistency in her texting. Is she genuinely interested in me but just not big on texting, or could it mean she's unsure about what she wants from me?

I have a male friend who used to like a female friend of mine during our college days. She rejected him and later got into a relationship with another guy, who eventually dumped her. My male friend, however, stopped talking to her after she rejected him even when she initiate the contact, and it has been many years since then. What does this tell us about him?

I was on a second date and she asked me whether I use AI. I am a biomedical scientist and I told her I use it a lot to navigate our large datasets to understand human health and disease. She texted me after saying people using AI turns her off and she doesn't feel physical chemistry. I am very confused right now. Is this a common sentiment now these days?

old post: https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/s/YMTfeipoBf

We went on our 5th date, and it went really well.

While we were sitting , I told her honestly: "I really enjoy spending time with you, and I'd like to stop talking to other women on dating apps and see where this goes. What do you think?" She said yes.

After sometime we went for a walk and kissed again. Then I took out my phone, opened my Hinge profile, and handed it to her. She deleted it herself. 😄

Now here's where I'm lost. The date was yesterday, and today she hasn't texted me. I haven't texted her either. Complete silence.

Is this some kind of game? Is she waiting for me to text first? Is this normal after a big conversation like that? You guys clearly understand this better than I do, so please tell me:

What's going on here?

Should I text her first, or wait?

How do I move forward from here?

Thank you all again.

Been friends with this girl for a year and started hanging out a month or two ago more one on one. Really enjoy spending time with her and felt some chemistry so decided to ask her out. She said she really enjoys spending time with me too but needed some time to think about. We’ve been texting daily and pretty much saw each other every week (either one on one or group hangs). Now idk what to do in terms of texting and hanging while she makes her decision. Should I keep texting her in the meantime? It’s been a day and now whenever I text her I’m just analyzing those texts in my head and it feels stressful. She also invited me to another group hang without bringing up the other thing. What should I do?

I’m a 31-year-old guy interested in a 28-year-old woman I met at work. We’re in different departments, so our opportunities to interact face-to-face are limited.

I made my intentions clear because I genuinely wanted to get to know her romantically. I invited her to watch a movie, we once spent our lunch break together and talked for an hour, and we’ve had conversations through Instagram and Office MS Teams. I eventually told her that I was genuinely interested in her and wasn’t looking for games or anything complicated.

She told me she appreciated my honesty, but she hadn’t had enough interaction with me to know what she felt or what to say. She suggested that we “take things naturally” because we still work together and she wanted to avoid unnecessary pressure.

Since then, I’ve tried to respect her pace. Sometimes she replies warmly and asks about me, but other times our conversations are brief or she takes hours to respond. Recently, she checked in on me while I was recovering from a fever, and we had another friendly conversation. These moments make me happy, but I know they don’t necessarily mean she’s developing romantic feelings.

Our office schedules may not overlap much in the coming months, so most of our communication will probably be online. I’m willing to keep getting to know her, but I don’t want to confuse patience with waiting indefinitely for someone who may never reciprocate my feelings.

My questions:

1. When a woman says she wants to “take things naturally,” does it mean she’s open to exploring a romantic connection, or could she simply be unsure about her feelings?
2. Is it reasonable to keep initiating conversations occasionally, provided I respect her boundaries and don’t pressure her?
3. How can I distinguish genuine romantic progress from ordinary friendliness?
4. At what point should I step back and ask for clarity instead of continuing to wait?

I’m not expecting her to owe me anything just because I’ve been patient or sincere. I understand that feelings can’t be forced, and I’m prepared to accept it if she eventually decides she doesn’t see me romantically.

I just want to know whether giving this connection time is reasonable or whether I’m setting myself up for disappointment.

I’d appreciate honest answers, especially from women who have been in a similar situation. Please be real with me, even if the truth isn’t what I want to hear.

Context:

I am a 23 year old guy who lives in a medium sized city of about 120000 people. I’m not in college, and never went, so I don’t have social connections from there. I don’t do dating apps, never have, probably never will.

I’ve only been on three dates in my life, and they were all with the same woman. I genuinely don’t understand how to convert friendly interest into something that could potentially become romantic. Every time I try, my advances seem to fail, and I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.

Before anyone asks, yes I go after people similar to me, no I don’t only ask supermodels. Yes I have hobbies, yes I have a steady job, yes I take care of myself. People liking me has never been the problem.

Any advice? I don’t want to flirt with too many women from my friend group, or else I’ll become that one weird guy. I’m not very good at cold approaches.

I am consistently let down when dating. The topic of consent has come up several times, particularly when getting intimate (or sometimes when the guy wants to just share his beliefs on the matter unprompted).

I am 28. In the last year, I have dated anyone from 22 to 45, and this isn't even an age thing. I've had many instances where guys think that just because I look a certain way, they can do something during sex that I didn't agree to, like slap me, or choke me really hard out of nowhere.

Slapping someone or choking someone, when this wasn't agreed upon, is assault. It's as much assault as if it were to randomly happen outside of sex.

I also don't drink. My mom is an alcoholic, and I never liked alcohol anyway. But this isn't respected either. I am upfront about this, guys order me drinks anyway.

I've had instances of also hugging guys goodbye on the date, and they randomly slap my butt or grab my hair.

Whenever I have brought the consent discussion up as a response, it's all "You are going to falsely accuse me!!!" and honestly, it makes me want to file a police report every time for slapping me without my consent. Not sure how serious of a crime it is, but it is wrong at the very least.

Why is it so IMPOSSIBLE to understand that you don't do these things to someone you're dating, unless you've agreed on it? It's not that hard.

Also, times have changed. When I was single at 20/21, yeah there were some bad apples, but it truly wasn't this bad – in any age group.

Why do people not understand how bad this is to do to someone?

I’m a 27 y/o female, I’m pretty and very natural. I have my own place, a great career, a great sense of humor. But I’m having the worst time dating. I’ve been getting rejected by guys after a date or two because I’m not letting them sexually touch me or have sex with me right away. I’m okay with kissing but sex is not something I can just give. One of them even told me that we are not a good match because I had told him I don’t do casual sex.

These days it seems just about everyone is giving out on the first date. In a world where there are plenty of gorgeous girls that are willing to have sex right away (no judgement on them) how do I navigate dating and finding a decent man ?

I feel so guilty for wanting an emotional connection and genuinely getting to know someone. Keep in mind most of these guys I’ve met through hinge and I do make it clear on my profile I want a LTR

Edit: wow I just want to thank everyone for their comments I didn’t expect this to blow up thank you thank you!!!! I feel seen.

Hi, I'm 37y (M) and my girlfriend is (43) F.

The thing I'm struggling with is I've heard her flirting in a sexual way on the phone with a work colleague. She claims it's just a bit of banter. She and my friend have also been a little flirty in front of me, where he has said something and she has said you would be so lucky.

Am I just reading too far into things.

But of a rant but TLDR at the bottom.

So I(33M) have always been iffy about dating events, I have been to a couple in the past and they weren’t really enjoyable because I wasn’t meeting people with the same interests as me and mutual interests has always been the most important value in a partner for me.

ANYWAY, I see this social media post for this dating event page in my country (Australia) and the creator was kind of going on this passive aggressive rant about how men don’t book for her events and asking why won’t they come her her dating events.

And I knew my reason, but I was curious as to why this was (this wasn’t the first time I’ve heard of this trend of men not attending these events and I was curious what their reasons were)

Through the comments, 2 particulars points kept being mentioned by many different people in different words, those points were essentially;
- that men don’t want to pay to go out and get rejected by women when they already get that on a daily basis online for free in the comfortable of their own home
- That the men that women want at these events, don’t need these events and the guys who do need these events just get rejected anyway.

Not long after the poster blocked all comments on the post (I guess a small percentage got especially heated)

But anyway, are these points against men attending dating events valid?

TLDR: A post on social media asked men why they don’t attend dating events, the men gave their reasons saying it’s not worth going to and made me wonder if this is true

I’m dating this guy who says he doesn’t masturbate(“too busy”) but yet he’s asking me for nudes. For what purpose?? I asked him why he wanted nudes if he doesn’t masturbate and he said “because I like you”… it just doesn’t make sense in my brain. Especially since he’s already seen me naked in real life. We are in our 30s for context.

I don’t send nudes though because when I was younger, my boyfriend posted my nudes on my social media so if that’s a dealbreaker for him, he can move on. I haven’t shared this with him, but I’ve always told him that I just don’t send nudes.

I’m 29M, she’s 28F and we’ve been seeing each other for 3 months.

She invited me to a family dinner this weekend. Yesterday she told me her grandmother has dementia and still thinks she’s dating her ex from 4 years ago. They were together for years and her grandma knew him well. When she explains they broke up, her grandma gets upset and later forgets.

Her family stopped correcting her.

She asked if her grandma calls me by her ex’s name, could I just go along with it. I wouldn’t have to pretend I’m him or make up stories, just answer normally and not correct her.

I like this girl, I'm finally in a good place and I'm making money and can see this becoming serious, so meeting her family matters to me.

Still, being introduced while her grandmother thinks I’m her ex feels strange. Refusing also feels insensitive when her grandma can’t control it.

Would you go along with it for the night?

I'm a 26f who works at a small deli. And I have this regular who comes in. Idk how old he is, he looks older than me and a few of my co-workers think so as well (he's at least over 21 he's been buying beer here for a year that I've noticed him)

Anyways, the past 2 or 3 months, I've noticed he's nicer than most regulars who come in. And in the past month, I've noticed he will complement me, like saying he likes my hair or that the sweater I'm wearing is pretty. And he's always smiling at me even if we're not saying anything. Last week he came in 3 times and on the last time he told me what city he lives in asked if inlived around the store.Idk I just got the vibe that's he has some interest in me.

I only see him on Tuesdays. So I pre-wrote my number on a piece of paper with my name. He came in, and we talked a bit. He told me the cardigan I was wearing was pretty and that he liked it. We said bye and he started to leave. So I thought fuck it, what's the worst that could happen. I offered him my number.

When I asked him if he'd like my number, he looked kinda lost. And didn't say anything at first. So I told him not to worry about it, just thought I'd offer. He said he didn't have his phone on him and started checking his pockets. So I held up the slip of paper, and he took it. He told me his name then said he'd text me.

But now I'm kinda freaking out a bit. I feel bad because I know it can be really hard to reject someone. And I don't want him to have to feel weird and burdened by me offrening my number. But I guess I'll know how he feels about it if he ever does text me.

Was it weird to do that?

I'm a confident person in a nervous skin suite. So I'm melting about this. All i can think about is how uncomfortable I probably made him feel.

Edit: No call. But thats okay, I appreciate everyone's input. I hope everyone has a good rest of their week!