I genuinely want some advice because this has happened to me multiple times.

On my Tinder profile, I clearly state that I’m looking for casual dating and that I’m not interested in a serious relationship at the moment. Before meeting, I also make sure we’re on the same page, and every girl I’ve gone out with has said they were okay with that.

Usually, we’ll go on a few dates, and eventually we’ll end up sleeping together. I always try to treat them well, I pay for all the dates, meals, and activities because I enjoy doing that. I never pressure anyone into anything, and I try to be respectful and honest from the start.

Part of the reason is that I genuinely enjoy the experience of dating. I like going out, spending time together, being affectionate, and, honestly, I like the feeling of having someone to share those moments with. But at the same time, I don’t want an actual committed relationship. Right now, relationships feel too stressful for me, and I don’t feel ready for that level of commitment.

I’ve even told them this directly. I explain that the reason I treat them well is because I enjoy dating, not because I’m trying to build a serious relationship. In fact, I’ve told them that if we actually became boyfriend and girlfriend, I probably wouldn’t be able to keep dating the same way because the expectations and responsibilities of a real relationship are exactly what I’m trying to avoid

The problem is that after a while, some of them seem to become emotionally invested or start treating the situation like we’re heading toward a relationship. Then, when I decide I don’t want to keep seeing them anymore (sometimes because I don’t feel the connection anymore or I’ve simply lost interest), it becomes really difficult. One girl even called me an asshole because I didn’t want to continue dating her.

From my perspective, I never lied about my intentions. I was upfront from day one, and they agreed to it. But this keeps happening, so I’m starting to wonder if I’m missing something.

Am I accidentally sending mixed signals? Is there a better way to communicate that I’m only looking for casual dating? Or is this just something that’s almost impossible to avoid once you’ve been seeing someone for a while and have had sex?

I’d especially like to hear from both men and women who have experience with casual dating. If you were in this situation, what would make someone’s intentions feel genuinely clear? Is there anything you think I should be doing differently?

Edit - For those wondering why I paid for everything and cared for them, it’s also because I wanted to show my respect, not because I was just trying to sleep with them. In my country, it’s common for men to pay for most, if not all, expenses on dates, even casual ones.

I’ve been seeing this girl for about 2 months and I really like her. She’s funny, easy to talk to, makes plans, is down for adventures, just like me.

But there’s this one thing she does that I can’t tell if it’s harmless or kind of weird.

She lies to strangers for no reason.

Not big serious lies. More like we’ll be at a coffee shop and the barista asks if we’re from around here and she’ll say “no we’re visiting from Seattle” even though we both live 10 minutes away. Or an Uber driver asked how long we’ve been together and she said “4 years, we met at a wedding” when we literally met on a dating app last month.

At first I thought it was funny. Like okay, random bit, whatever. But she does it almost every time we go out. This weekend we were at a little Italian place and she told the server I was a food critic, which made the whole meal weird because the server kept checking on us, I tried to play along and would switch apps on my phone while the waiter was around to make it look like I was taking notes.

When I ask her about it after, she said it makes boring interactions more fun and that I need to loosen up. She wasn’t mad, but she definitely thought I was being lame.

I’m not trying to be the police of harmless fun, but it makes me wonder if she’s just playful or if she’s too comfortable making stuff up.

Would this bother anyone else or am I being way too serious?

When I was growing up in the 90s, it was a normal cultural thing (white middle class, semi religious town), for people to wait until the 3rd date to have sex. I can't imagine implementing that now, since so many people expect sex right away, even forgoing the actual date and asking for straight up sex.

Is this something people still implement?

I know steve harvey recommends a 90 day waiting period to get to know eachother before having sex. I think I would literally not get any dates at all if I told men I want to wait 90 days before sleeping with them.

Quick edit: forgot to say I'm 23 F and the guy is 25.
I think I need a man's perspective on this one.
The guy I've been dating ended things with me a couple days ago and I'm just very confused.
For some slight background, we work together and ended up getting together after a work night out. He ended up asking me to go for drinks and I wasn't really sure if it was a date or not. During said drinks we ended up decideing it was a date. I don't want this post to be super long so essentially we have been on three dates over the span of about a month, as well as spent nights at eachothers houses. After the last date we went on I drunkenly decided to see if he wanted to make it official. To which he basically said not right now but we are on the right track. Ngl this really confused me and I think I took it to heart a bit more than I should have.
Everything took a turn for the worst on Saturday when I went out for my friends birthday. We had planned for me to go back to his after the night out. Which I was incredibly excited for and basically spent the whole night telling everyone about. I went to visit him at work before going to a bar/club. In said place a guy approached me and asked to buy me a drink. I thought I'm technically still single and I'm obviously not going to go home with him or anything so I can have a free drink and a little dance. I drank, I danced. He sat with us for a little bit then left. I thought that was the end of it then he came back later in the night again asking if I wanted a drink. So I did. He asked to kiss me and I didn't say anything, but he kissed me. I went back to dancing. He followed and danced with me. Kept spinning me to face him to kiss me. I actively was trying to just dance with my friends. The bar/club was closing and the guy I was dating finished work so I left and ran to go and meet him. I told him that I kissed a guy and he freaked out as we were walking to his. Once we got there he said I wasn't coming up with him and I needed to call someone to come get me. I was a little drunk and put up a bit of a fight, said I wasn't leaving. To which he left me sat in the doorway of his place. I ended up calling my friend to come meet me and crying on the phone to her whilst trying to figure out where eachother were. Not the greatest situation. He messaged me the next morning saying something on the lines of; ' I don't think we should continue seeing eachother, what happened happened. No ill feelings'. Which ngl broke me. I really like this guy. I am now very confused and just hoping there is something I can do.
So essentially, I would love some advice.
I want to add that he has been cheated on in the past, which I believe is why he ended things. I also wanna say that we never had a conversation about being exlusive. I never had plans to see or be with anyone else but the conversation was never had.

I would so love a man's perspective on the situation and tell me if it can be saved etc. I just need an outside perspective so my brain can stop being overloaded.

Please and thank youuu

In all my posts I clearly state that I, a 19 year old, is strictly interested in men under the age of 25, anything more would be inappropriate. I state that CLEARLY on my posts in my bio, this isn’t the first time an older guy has called me names or has been passive aggressive just because im interested in men my own age.. We all know why they don’t go after women their own age, and it’s disgusting, which is why I refuse to give older men a chance, it’s disgusting.

I’m curious what people’s real-life experiences have been.
For a serious, long-term relationship, would you rather be with someone you’re extremely physically attracted to, or someone who’s maybe not your ideal physically but is incredibly loyal, feminine, supportive, affectionate, and consistently makes you feel valued?
Assume both people are genuinely interested in you and would be good partners overall. Which would you choose, and what has worked better in your experience?

for context im 26M.

Hi I’m 18 years old, and I’m writing this post because I’m curious about why girls have never really been interested in me. I’m not looking for support or reassuranceI just want to understand the reason.

I’m a tall guy with a pretty good physique. I’d say I’m fairly intelligent and charismatic, or at least that’s how I see myself. My face is probably around a 6 or 7 out of 10.

I’ve tried to build relationships, but in the end they always seem to end either with a quiet breakup or with me being friend-zoned. I’ve never felt like I was someone a girl sincerely desired, even though I think I have a lot of good qualities.

What’s even stranger to me is that the girls I’ve tried to date often end up in relationships with guys who, in my opinion, would make much worse partners than I would. I just don’t understand it.

If a girl has an attractive body, good looks, charisma, and intelligence, she’s usually going to have plenty of guys chasing after her. So I don’t understand why it doesn’t seem to work the same way for me. I’ve seen girls actively pursue guys who, honestly, seem far worse than me in many ways. I just can’t figure out why. I don't want to seem arrogant and selfish, but honestly, it's really like that. I would like to hear your opinion, maybe I will answer some questions and maybe then it will help me understand why

I decided to leave my ex as I was 3 months pregnant. My baby is now 7 months and I have been pondering the idea of opening a dating app, as I crave male company. However, I fear having a baby will be most likely a deterrent. Would you date the mom of an infant? Or when is appropriate for me to wait?

44f, I have 2 little kids, and since dating, its been mostly younger men. I was asked out by a 30plus yr old man. Is there any chance he wants anything more than sex? And if I do sleep with him, how long do I have to wait to make sure he takes me seriously? I hate all this.

I decided to put myself out there after about 8 months of being single and working on myself and I recently met this guy (I’ll call him Aiden) online.

He seemed very kind and it was pretty clear that we had a lot in common such as shared music taste, being a part of an alternative subculture, dog ownership, etc and we ended up doing on a date after 2 weeks of talking which went well. We also follow each other on Instagram and I have noticed that he’s been liking a concerning amount of video pertaining to Borderline Personality Disorder and its symptoms. I do know that he’s had struggles with mental health in the past as hes been open about that and he used to self harm at one point although the scars I saw on his arm were very old.

I’ve just heard so many horror stories about BPD and I now feel uncertain about this. He genuinely seems like a sweet guy but I’m very much aware that people with the disorder can become abusive within seconds when triggered and I don’t want to get involved with somebody who may potentially become abusive or controlling. What would be the best approach here? I do want to keep seeing him for the time being but I would NOT get into a relationship with him if it comes out that he can’t regulate his emotions.

I’ve been seeing this girl and she was obsessed with me and we spent a lot of time together but she suddenly flipped and now she’s been breadcrumbing me. I make plans as usual and somehow something always comes up. But then she continues to flirt with me the next day and love bomb me and respond to my stories. I’ve reached my breaking point and she’s lost all my respect and interest. Lowkey hoping that there’s a chance shell actually want to see me, but is it better if I ghost her or let her know that I understand what she’s doing and that I don’t fw that as a final message.

I have been talking to this guy for a few weeks that I met online. Overall, he has been absolutely amazing, he’s not, wealthy and has a loving teddy bear personality. He told me he’s only into long term relationships, which is perfect. We have so much in common and hit it off immediately. He even asks me questions that a super romantic and match my moral values deeply. We are wanting to meet this week.

It’s been a long time since I’ve been turned on by a guy, but he has been getting me excited. I’m dying to sext him, would it be too soon considering we haven’t met one another yet or should I just go for it? Does this leave space for a relationship?

Also, I’ve never wanted to sext someone this early on either. I usually wait months

I think I'm speaking for almost all women when I say one mostly guaranteed way to cause a woman to lose interest fast when first messaging....is countless repetitive sending of them back to back. Us women dont find it attractive. We dont understand what makes you guys ever think it is a good idea. "The first 15 messages he sent me in a row just werent doing the job, but something about the 16th one made me realize how much of a catch he was and i immediately felt the desire to actually start responding" says no women ever.

Please.... do yourselves a favor and stop it. It is very unbecoming

Edit: im specifically talking about those initial "hey" messages sent a million times in different ways, in attempt to get that first ever response. Not the way couples text or something in regular conversation.

I would like to get the viewpoint of women regarding this. As the title says, is it a turn off? Or just a wrinkle that can be overlooked if I have a good personality, interests and values?

My friends say it isn't but they have no response when I say then why have I remained single and never experienced affection all my life.

I think my question is pretty forward, but ive been in 2 relationships and in the first one when i was thinking of breaking up with him that was the time he treat me the best and same with the 2nd one. Is there an explanation to this? Because its getting tiring, always giving my best in the beggining and they dont try but when im the one whos not trying they suddenly want to get better.

I find myself being a bit of a shut in at 35+ after traveling, joining hobbies since I turned 30. Before that I wasted all my 20s.

1. I feel too old and I never planned my life to be like this, still single, still looking

anyways all the beautiful women I see (at least on social media) tend to be at concerts, yoga, pilates, which arent places I go to and I wouldn't want to do it specifically to meet women.

in the past I have joined run groups, I have danced , but again I'm much older now and my body can't take it (at least the running dedication). I just weight lift now which is solo.

dating apps is becoming more of a drag now. I do okay there but I think women my age are looking for kids fast and the younger women in their late 20s are after the same thing and I'm not quite there because I still have my life to figure out (career, etc)

so where do I go out to meet people at my age? I don't want to come off as some single creep. And I don't want to keep wasting time by being a shut in. I'm just so lost.

I know I should take out attractive in the women, as I should just put myself to meet people in general , but obv I want someone I find attractive, and certain places attract more attractive people in general, as I am one to take care of my body and appearance (not to sound superficial)

I (33F) have a crush on a coworker (40M). We work at the same office but in different teams, so we don’t interact much at work.
We talk casually when we bump into each other, and sometimes he gives me a ride home. (Sometimes he offers the ride, sometimes I ask for it.)
About two months ago, I asked him if he’d like to grab dinner when he drove me home. He was nervous and told me some colleagues would see us together. Since he didn’t seem comfortable with it, I didn’t push, but then he said yes, and we had dinner together that day. We had drinks, talked for a few hours about hobbies, travel, family, work, and other random topics. We spent more than three hours together without even checking our phones once. We were shocked to see it was already midnight. Anyway, he paid for that dinner.
After that, I was hoping he’d reach out for a second dinner, but he never did. He’s generally a quiet and reserved person in the office as well. He doesn’t talk much, especially to women around. So I wasn’t sure if he simply wasn’t interested or if he was just shy about inviting me for a second dinner.
A few weeks later, I invited him again, telling him I would pay for dinner this time. He accepted immediately, and we had another dinner after work. Again, the conversation flowed naturally, and we spent around two hours together. When we left, he said the time passed faster than he thought.
Before we separated, he asked how I was getting home and even offered to drive me, but I told him my place was close enough to walk. He walked with me toward my apartment even though it wasn’t on his way. We just said goodbye and left. There was no hug, hand-holding, or any physical contact during all that time.
Since then, we haven’t bumped into each other in the office and haven’t talked. We don’t really message outside of work except for the occasional text on company messenger. Though it’s always me texting first…
Last Friday, I texted him, “Couldn’t see you around this week, seems like you’re busy,” and he just read it and left it without an answer.
Now I’m all confused about what’s happening.
He once noticed that I had taken a day off work and mentioned it later, so he does seem to pay attention.
He compliments me softly and asks me how my meetings went, etc., so he does care.
He has accepted both times I invited him without hesitation.
However, he has never been the one to initiate plans or conversations outside of work.
Because I’ve already initiated both dates, I’ve decided not to reach out again for now. I feel like if he’s interested, he should eventually make some effort too. At the same time, I know some people are genuinely very shy and careful, especially when dating a coworker.
So I’m confused.
Does this sound like someone who’s interested but extremely reserved, or does it sound more like someone who’s happy to accept invitations but isn’t romantically interested enough to pursue anything?
I’d especially like to hear from people who are naturally shy or who have dated coworkers. Am I reading too much into this, or is it reasonable to expect him to initiate at least once if he’s genuinely interested?

Hello i am looking for some real dating advice i haven't had much luck with the dating so far i been single for a couple of years now after my 10 years long relationship and i have gotten approached by a lot of women but after a couple of months talking it is always the same they do a 180 and say they aren't ready to date or they aren't looking for relationship currently but they where the one that was approaching me.

the one Yesterday was really rough because i liked the girl and i thought we where going alone fine we had date that last over 4 hours but then i got hit with the same text today she wasn't ready for relationship at this point i am pretty much lost all my confidence and i am pretty much just become a shell of my self since i started dating i have tried asking them what did i do wrong or what can i improve on for future reference but i get no answer or they saying i am doing nothing wrong which is untrue because i it been happing to many times over years now and been a lot of different women right now i am incredible lonely and i also i need of help to find out what i am doing wrong because atm i not having much hope left in finding someone.

Any advice and help will be really appreciated

I (22F) have been seeing two persons at the same time. Nothing serious yet, i matched with both within days of each other and ive gone on 4 dates with one, F. (20F) and 3 with the other, T. (26NB). I have great chemistry with T but i feel more confortable with F. I havent been in a relationship before and i feel more comfortable with F, who hasnt been in one either. T is a serial dater, and 4 years older than me (22F), also very active sexually which i'm not.

I dont really know how to tell T that i dont want to see them anymore, should i mention the other person, or merely that they're going too fast for me etc? and like, we had great chemistry besides that and we get along really well, so i dont want to close that door completely in case it doesn't work out with F.

T and I have been texting nearly every day and told each other we would be going out again soon. We kissed multiple times as well, i went to their apartment and met one of their friends. I dont think a simple "i've decided to be exclusive with someone, good continuation :)" is gonna cut it.

This is my first reddit post ever and im not really on the website in general, please forgive any mistake or tell me if you need more information or idk. I welcome any answer bc im a bit desperate atp and my friends are tired of hearing about this lmao

For some context, I'm 30F and have always wanted to get married and have kids.

I worked at a well-known global tech company for six years before deciding to leave and pursue a self-funded master's degree. Recently graduated but unfortunately, the company I was working for went through massive layoffs, and now I'm living off my savings while trying to find a new job.

My original plan was to start dating again once I had a stable job, but the job search isn't going well. As time passes, my anxiety keeps getting worse. I worry that by the time I get back on my feet, I'll have lost valuable time, especially since I want to build a family.

Part of me also worries that my current financial situation will make me less attractive as a potential partner, even though I know it's hopefully just a temporary setback.

Has anyone else been in a similar situation? Did unemployment or career setbacks affect your dating life, or am I overthinking this? I'd really appreciate hearing other people's experiences.