u/stingray743

I (M23) was dating this guy (M29) since Feb 2025. It was really good. I felt that he loved and cared for me truly.

Fast forward to Nov 2025, I was in his room and noticed some picture frames that were turned over, so I go suspicious and looked at them. It turned out to be his engagement photos.

I left and confronted him through text, and at first he lied saying the engagement was already called off so it was okay for us to date. I said okay, but continued to do more digging and somehow I found out he was lying again.

After this he told me that it was simply an arranged marriage and that he didn’t really have feelings for her (F28) and the one he loves is me, and unfortunately I was convinced to stay.

It was rocky after that because I was confused about the whole situation. I loved this man, but I didn’t like being secondary despite him promising that he’ll work things out to get out of the marriage to be with me in the end. I tried to end the “relationship” with him multiple times and every single he’d always cry and beg me to stay so I really thought his feelings for me were genuine and so I regret to admit that I wasn’t strong enough and gave in back to him every time.

Fast forward to Aug 2026 now, I’m about to fly overseas for university, I finally had the clarity to decide to end things with the most conviction I had. I realized the promises he made to me to do everything to end his relationship with the fianceé weren’t enough, and looking back, he made 0 moves at all to prove or back up anything he said. He’s asking me for 3 years to stay hung up on him because that’s the amount of time he’ll need to break off and divorce her - but that was too much to ask. I refused to halt my life for him though I truly loved him.

We met up irl and talked things out, agreeing to simply enjoy the last few days I was in the country before I flew off and moved out, and things were okay. I came over to his room, cuddled and then he went to go and shower.

When he went to shower, I decided to just look through his phone, and when I clicked into the photos app, I saw he had the hidden folder opened recently. I got suspicious and I opened it, and there it was, just a bunch of pictures of him with other guys, having sex with them and pictures/profiles of men from a hooking-up app.

I was heart broken. I thought he said he loved me and was doing everything he could to get me back. But looking through the dates, he was meeting them on days I was busy with work or not at home. He even had threesomes with them.

After this, I took pictures for evidence, I got my things and ran out of the house. He found me and tried to talk to me but I was angry. I told him I was gonna ruin his life and tell his fiancée everything and we got to an altercation even. Police got involved and we were separated. Once I got home, I decided to act on impulse and tell the fiancée through Instagram and sent her all the pictures including the lewd ones.

Fast forward to today, his life is essentially ruined. His marriage that many people invested in both emotionally and financially is gone. I know the wedding preparations cost a fortune and he even said 600 people were involved (I presume it’s a culture thing to have such a large scale wedding). During the altercation, he threatened to commit s*****e and I told that to the police because they asked me everything that happened, which led him to be taken to a psychiatric facility and gave him a record which he said was going to affect his ability to continue his job as a front-liner.

Basically, I ruined his life for telling the fiancée. He asked to meet up and I agreed if my parents could be there, and he basically broke down to me and said his life is gone. I truly feel so guilty because I do love him still, but at the same time, facts are he’s a serial cheater, he really was manipulative and self-preserving (he barely apologised for cheating and was focused on his life when we were talking f2f) and someone who truly loved me would never think to cheat on me at all.

I feel that he did bring this upon himself, and my impulsive decision didn’t come out of nowhere. Something caused me to be that angry which was finding out that he was cheating on me. I was only in the middle of the domino and everything that’s happening now is simply a result of the root cause which is his habits, lust and infidelity.

However, as a human capable of empathy, while I recognise it isn’t my burden to carry, I still do feel for his current situation - again, I truly loved this man. I just struggle to sort my feelings out rationally.

Thank you for listening to my story.

I (M23) was dating this guy (M29) since Feb 2025. It was really good. I felt that he loved and cared for me truly.

Fast forward to Nov 2025, I was in his room and noticed some picture frames that were turned over, so I go suspicious and looked at them. It turned out to be his engagement photos.

I left and confronted him through text, and at first he lied saying the engagement was already called off so it was okay for us to date. I said okay, but continued to do more digging and somehow I found out he was lying again.

After this he told me that it was simply an arranged marriage and that he didn’t really have feelings for her (F28) and the one he loves is me, and unfortunately I was convinced to stay.

It was rocky after that because I was confused about the whole situation. I loved this man, but I didn’t like being secondary despite him promising that he’ll work things out to get out of the marriage to be with me in the end. I tried to end the “relationship” with him multiple times and every single he’d always cry and beg me to stay so I really thought his feelings for me were genuine and so I regret to admit that I wasn’t strong enough and gave in back to him every time.

Fast forward to Aug 2026 now, I’m about to fly overseas for university, I finally had the clarity to decide to end things with the most conviction I had. I realized the promises he made to me to do everything to end his relationship with the fianceé weren’t enough, and looking back, he made 0 moves at all to prove or back up anything he said. He’s asking me for 3 years to stay hung up on him because that’s the amount of time he’ll need to break off and divorce her - but that was too much to ask. I refused to halt my life for him though I truly loved him.

We met up irl and talked things out, agreeing to simply enjoy the last few days I was in the country before I flew off and moved out, and things were okay. I came over to his room, cuddled and then he went to go and shower.

When he went to shower, I decided to just look through his phone, and when I clicked into the photos app, I saw he had the hidden folder opened recently. I got suspicious and I opened it, and there it was, just a bunch of pictures of him with other guys, having sex with them and pictures/profiles of men from a hooking-up app.

I was heart broken. I thought he said he loved me and was doing everything he could to get me back. But looking through the dates, he was meeting them on days I was busy with work or not at home. He even had threesomes with them.

After this, I took pictures for evidence, I got my things and ran out of the house. He found me and tried to talk to me but I was angry. I told him I was gonna ruin his life and tell his fiancée everything and we got to an altercation even. Police got involved and we were separated. Once I got home, I decided to act on impulse and tell the fiancée through Instagram and sent her all the pictures including the lewd ones.

Fast forward to today, his life is essentially ruined. His marriage that many people invested in both emotionally and financially is gone. I know the wedding preparations cost a fortune and he even said 600 people were involved (I presume it’s a culture thing to have such a large scale wedding). During the altercation, he threatened to commit s*****e and I told that to the police because they asked me everything that happened, which led him to be taken to a psychiatric facility and gave him a record which he said was going to affect his ability to continue his job as a front-liner.

Basically, I ruined his life for telling the fiancée. He asked to meet up and I agreed if my parents could be there, and he basically broke down to me and said his life is gone. I truly feel so guilty because I do love him still, but at the same time, facts are he’s a serial cheater, he really was manipulative and self-preserving (he barely apologised for cheating and was focused on his life when we were talking f2f) and someone who truly loved me would never think to cheat on me at all.

I feel that he did bring this upon himself, and my impulsive decision didn’t come out of nowhere. Something caused me to be that angry which was finding out that he was cheating on me. I was only in the middle of the domino and everything that’s happening now is simply a result of the root cause which is his habits, lust and infidelity.

However, as a human capable of empathy, while I recognise it isn’t my burden to carry, I still do feel for his current situation - again, I truly loved this man. I just struggle to sort my feelings out rationally.

Thank you for listening to my story.