u/Interesting_Goose102

Hello I met T January of this year thru a dating app and right away he was very interested in me. We went on a couple dates up until around Valentine’s Day we were going to go out I made him his favorite food as a gift and he ended up ghosting me right before the date. Now at first I was worried but clearly after that day I was simply hurt for him doing that. A month goes by he messages me apologizing I accept it and he said he wanted to pursue me again I give him another chance but that we needed to meet up first so I told him to come over to my place. Again right before we were supposed to meet up he sent me a paragraph this time tho saying hes avoidant and that he just cares too much about his alone time that even though he wants a relationship he can’t make it work. I told him ok please delete my number. Time goes by my mind stays on him and I had met some other people I decide to reach out to him just to hook up and I’m clear about that saying I don’t expect anything after. It happens nothing happens after ok but then times goes by again and I’m asking him for some tickets to where he works and he agrees. We end up talking about hooking up again but this time hes starts saying extra stuff like “I’ll never get enough of you” and “I’ll come over every night if u want me to” I’m like okay come over tonight then he doesn’t respond then next afternoon I send the same thing basically and no response. I end up blocking him cuz he’s not even good for just dick 🙄 like too complicated. Anyways two months go by and he messages me on normal messages saying unblock me pls. Here goes me and he basically is rught away saying how he couldn’t stop thinking about me and that he kept checking everyday if he was unblocked and that he was so happy that he didn’t delete my number. Even mentioned the new spider man movie and said I was his MJ 🤨 anyways a whole lot of promises that he wasn’t gonna pull the same bullshit again and that he was gonna start coming over more. He comes over that week we had a good time and I was trying to he superficial but after hanging out with him I had too much of a good time I started catching feelings again. So I’m like fuck i need to chill out cuz even tho hes saying what I want to hear I’ve played these games before soo. Anyways literally last thing I tell him before he leaves is text me. He doesn’t, I end up texting him one night cuz I was #lonely. But he then says his doggy isn’t feeling well so he had to watch her keep in mind the day after he come over he was gonna take her to the vet. So I end up responding next day asking what the vet said he doesn’t respond that day which whatever until he messages me complimenting my new PFP and then he respond to the vet question. I then ask more about the vet and again noooo response. Then I basically text him one more time about a festival he responds then I respond then nothing for the rest of that day then I ask for my tickets cuz at this point that’s all I want lol. Now the story finally comes to today where I was honestly very hurt confused and just over everything so I send him a message basically cutting things off but this is when he responds with something I feel kinda bad for now. Just wanna know yalls true opinion and I’ll post the screenshots rn or the texts 😅

Mb idk how to post pictures so here’s my response and then his 😀

Me- I'm stepping back from this situation completely. Coming back into my life with romantic promises and then not following through has left me hurt and confused. Your words and actions don't match, and I'm done questioning where I stand. I don't want to continue something that makes me feel this way, so l'm choosing to step back and I'm no longer giving you access to me.
Goodluck in life
Him-I totally understand I wish you nothing but the best the last week and half have been the hardest of my life so l can't be anything to anyone, the weenie dog has been going to multiple vet visits due to her back legs not working anymore she can't walk on her own so everyday for me now is me being by her side so I sleep in stints just so l can take her to the bathroom
Me-I completely understand she's you're priority and I hope she heals very soon. I just wish you could've communicated that. I don't need constant texting as I said but just some form of clarity and I just feel used after you told me everything I wanted to hear then basically disappear and I just feel like a bother everytime I text u. I want u but I get it our lives are too complicated
Him- Believe me I would have been a lot better this all just happened out of nowhere and it’s been the hardest thing in my life
Me-I understand I’m really sorry you’re going through this, and I hope she gets better. I don’t want to add any more stress to what you’re already dealing with, so I’m going to give you the space you need. Take care of yourself and her, and if things settle down and you still want to talk sometime, you know where to find me.

I sent that earlier around 4 and haven’t heard since which I did unfollow him after the initial paragraph soo yeah

TL:DR- I’ve been talking to this guy since January, but he has a habit of making big promises and then going hot and cold. We hung out recently and things went great, but then he started pulling away again. I finally texted him today to step back, and he told me his dog is really sick and paralyzed right now. I felt bad, so I told him I’m giving him space but to reach out if things settle down

Hi Reddit I ‘22-f’ am/was talking to A ‘23-m’
who I met on hinge about three months ago. Yesterday I went on AITJ because three weeks ago now A came over to my place for the weekend. For some context we talked for a month until we decided we shouldn’t keep talking since long distance was going to be an issue. We stopped talking for a month then late last month he came back and said he was willing to work on long distance. Now for some more backstory he knew I was talking to other guys while he was gone and since we were getting serious I decided i was going to cut the other people off and I did with a guy we can call S. I told S I couldn’t give him what he wanted and that it was best we stopped talking, he understood but he kept texting me but being friendly. It was hard for me too completely cut him off so I kept talking to him. Now for when A came for the weekend I had given him my phone passcode since I had ask him to download an app for me while I was busy. Well he ended up remembering it and that Saturday he went through my phone “out of curiosity” according to him. There he saw the messages with S and some Dms that I sent a singer a couple days before which was wrong ofc. I basically slid up on his workout pic saying to post more and to send me Some aka flirting which I don’t expect him to respond. Regardless he didn’t send anything but he followed me on insta. This clearly bothered A but he didn’t tell me until two weeks after he came for the weekend. I admitted and apologized for what I did because it was incredibly Shittt thing to do and I deeply regret it. He had taken those two weeks to think about what he wanted from us and he decided that it wouldn’t workout because trust is important and now it’s been lost. Rightfully so regardless he chose to keep taking time to think about it because according to him he doesn’t get the same worries he’s gotten before w someone he doesn’t trust. I gave him about a week of us still talking daily but more lagging. It was really hard for me because deep down I was preparing for the break up basically. It was until yesterday I had planned to drive today over there so we could talk in person but when I mentioned how he felt about that he said he felt bad that I would drive so much for a short convo and that it was best to just talk through t FaceTime. We did and there we basically ended things for the same reasons i had said. He told me I couldn’t do anything to change his mind and that he understood where I was coming From with having difficulty to cut others off. But even then it just couldn’t work out. We said our goodbyes and said this was meant to be but maybe in the future we will reconnect. Later that night I sent him a goodbye goodnight text and we said how much were gonna miss eachother. Now I’ll take any and all opinions and advice but right now my main question is whether I should listen to my coworker. I told her everything and she thinks I should still go over there today and basically surprise him and show I’m willing to do anything. She believes he didn’t want to meet up because he knew I would change his mind. She thinks that because I told her that A told me that he didn’t want to come over or me go over cuz if he saw me he’d change his mind about us and might keep trying. That’s where I’m at right now and I’m low-key convinced to go see him but I don’t want to seem crazy or scary like the girl from obsession 😭 pls help

Hello so I’m terrified to post this since I don’t know if he used Reddit but for some context I (F-23) met him (M-25) off of hinge around three months ago now and off the bat we clicked but due to our distance (2-3 hour drive) we decided nothing was going to come out of us talking. We end up meeting up once and it went great but a week after that we ended things since we were catching feelings. We stopped talking for a month until late last month he reached out again and said how he was willing to try a long distance relationship. I was still talking to some other people at that time and I hadn’t met anyone as good as him until the day before he reached out again I met this sweetheart that I really clicked with. But due to some things I decided that I liked the first guy more. Because I was catching feelings again for first guy I decided it was best to cut things off with the sweetheart so I did, I told him I wasn’t able to do a relationship and that it was best that we stopped talking. He was very understanding but he wanted to keep talking as friends and since I didn’t want to keep rejecting him I agreed. After this I stupidly told first guy that I cut off all my talking stages, he hasn’t ask I just simply told him to show I was serious about him. Fast forward some time he comes over for the weekend (3 days) and on the second day (I find this out later on) he had gone through my phone while I was sleeping. According to him he was just curious and since I had given him my password earlier that day (to simply help me download an app since I was busy) he decided to see if he still memorized it. He tells me he didn’t find anything an issue until it came to the messages with sweetheart and he also found some dms of me messaging a singer which I will admit was flirty. But I don’t hear all of this until two weeks after the weekend he came over and he says how took this time to think about what he wants to pursue with me. Now this is where things get complicated he doesn’t want to continue because we already have issues with the distance and for a long distance relationship trust is the most important thing but ofc he lost trust in me. He told me how he didn’t want to be anxious but he claims he didn’t feel that way those two weeks or anytime before that from me. It’s been a week since I found out and it’s been killing me as to what’s going to happen. Tomorrow I’ll be driving up to talk to him but I need honest opinions please. I feel completely guilty and regretful for what I did because hes such a great guy I don’t want to lose.
Edit: my main question I have is if y’all think this is repairable and if it worth it. For some more backstory I couldn’t get the courage to completely cut things off with sweetheart because I believed I was protecting his feelings but I end up hurting the guy I want. Since then I’ve completely cut it off with sweetheart and the singer. The convo between me and the singer was me complimenting him and asking for more pictures of him. I know wrong, he didn’t send anything but he followed me back on insta. I’ve removed both of them and my main guy is the only person I’m talking to.

TL;DR- I got caught by my talking stage talking to other guys after I told him I was exclusive to him.