r/Regrets

I’m 19 and I’ve had a boyfriend in the past but was always too scared to have sex. We’ve been broken up for a while now and since starting university I’ve felt like most people around me have done this and I’m behind because I haven’t. I’ve never been a casual relationship kind of person and always only saw myself having sex with someone I was dating for a while. A few weeks ago I was reached out to by someone I briefly spoke to in high school to ask to hang out. I knew what kind of guy he was and knew his intentions were to hook up with me. I went out with him and things progressed and we ended up having sex. I never disclosed that I was a virgin because I believe I led him to assume that I had sex before. The day after was absolutely hell and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I felt such an overwhelming sense of guilt and disgust with myself. I still can’t believe that I did that and feel insanely shitty about myself. I haven’t even been able to muster up the courage to tell any of my closest friends because I’m so disappointed in myself and I know that this isn’t the kind of person that I am. When will this feeling subside and am I a shitty person 😭😭

I’ll try to make it short.

As a teenager growing up I didn’t have much friends, spent weekends at my parents house and didn’t create any experiences.

At around the age of 22 I met this girl. I swear to god when I was with her I forgot all the pain from the past.And out of a sudden I was part of a group.

At the age of 26 I graduated and decided to break up. I crushed this girl.
I felt like I had enough and that I’m just not there anymore.
I made a move to a different city to chase the dream of making money and hitting the gym 4-5 times a week.

I’m 30 today, and although I did achieve my physics goals more or less, I didn’t make money as I hoped.
I had to leave and go back to my parents house and start from zero.

And it all hit me at once how I threw away the most beautiful relationship and I lost the best memories of my life.
And for what? For fucking what?
I chased the dream of money that I forgot to live my life. I didn’t pay attention that I had the most beautiful life, more than I could imagine.

And now when it’s time to find someone I feel so stupid because this woman was everything I ever wanted, and I look at other women and I’m like ‘what since does it make what’??
And it’s not anymore like when you are in your early 20s.. no more group of friends to meet someone in a natural way, no more people look at you as a kid at the beginning of his career.. now I must have resume. Which I don’t…
On top of that, everyone who studied with me is already with a kid or at least on the way…

I know it might sounds too much but I swear the pain I feel the last few weeks… I can’t fucking sleep, can’t get 30 minutes without painful thoughts in my head, almost can’t go a night without dreaming about the ex…
I’m about to lose it, the pain of regret is eating me from inside.
I don’t live the present anymore, only rewinding what I would do back then, how I would propose and how beautiful my life could be.

Please someone how is it possible to live this way, how??
From the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep I’m in unimaginable pain, I can’t take it anymore I’m exhausted..

​

I’m 20 years old, and when people ask how I lost my virginity, I never know what to say. It wasn’t with one person it was with four women, all in the same night. I used to think people would be impressed if I told them, but honestly, I regret every second of it.

They were all different, each one catching my eye in their own way. One was tall, with long dark hair that fell over her shoulders and dark eyes that looked right through you; she had this confident, sharp look like she knew exactly what she wanted. Next to her was a shorter girl with curly blonde hair and fair skin, soft features and a sweet smile that made her seem gentle, though she was just as forward as the rest. Then there was one with wild, wavy red hair and freckles across her nose she was lively, always laughing, and had this bright, bold energy that pulled you in. The last one had straight brown hair, tanned skin, and a quiet, calm way about her, like she was watching everything before she joined in.

That night, they were all dressed up, wearing things that showed off their shapes, smelling like sweet perfume and alcohol. They were friendly at first, laughing and talking, but slowly they started getting closer, touching my arm, leaning in, making me feel like I was the center of everything. I was young and didn’t know any better I thought it was exciting, like some kind of dream come true. They took control, guiding me along, passing me between them, each one taking their turn. It all happened so fast, and before I knew it, it was over.

But once it was done, the excitement vanished instantly. I looked at them and realized I didn’t even know them that well. It felt empty, messy, and wrong. I always thought my first time would be special, something shared with someone I cared about, something I could look back on and remember well. Instead, I remember their faces, their touches, and how it all blurred together and I hate that memory. I gave away something that was mine, something I can never get back, and I did it with four strangers just because I got caught up in the moment. Everyone might think it sounds like a great time, but to me, it’s the biggest mistake I ever made. I wish I’d never done it, and I wish I could take it all back.

21F, I love psychology and I can’t imagine myself being in a job that doesn’t involve that type of work. I am aware that for my type of major I need to go to grad school but it’s looking like I won’t. Credit wise I’m a sophomore and have a 3.1 GPA (and when my professor finish putting in my grades it’s going to go down even more) I plan to take 2 summer classes this summer which could hopefully raise my GPA but technically I’m supposed to be a junior and didn’t do well this semester so my GPA went down a lot. It’s the summer and I’m looking for a job, I only have research experience from an online program I was in during the semester and at my old school but that was pretty much it. I want to go into social work but I’m still figuring things out because I also want a career where I can do deep research and psychoanalysis I also want to analyze criminals and their backgrounds and what type of person they are and work with domestic violence victims ect but I know that a undergrad degree alone won’t do much. I went from psychology to nursing and back to psychology and now I have no idea what I’m doing with my life. I don’t have a car or a job or savings, and haven’t really accomplished much. Worried that most my 20s will be spent in school but not doing well academically due to severe ADHD, clinical depression, and trauma. I fear that if I don’t make a good financial decision at 22-23 that will later affect me being able to find a husband, get married have kids, travel ect. I just don’t have it in me anymore or the energy to try harder, I feel like a part of me died as a teenager all my hobbies, interest and confidence, died due to depression and living with toxic parents, but at the same time I felt the most creative back then, now I don’t feel anything.

So this is a bit of a difficult one for me to write. From the age of 11, I [40F] had a male friend. We met when I started secondary school and were close from then on (we shared the same nerdy hobbies, read the same books, and had a similar shyness). When I was 18, I finally admitted that I'd loved him for years and we started dating... for about three days. On that day, I had come home to find my mother in the aftermath of being SAed by my father. As I tried to help her, she explained that he'd been abusing her for years. I didn't know how to handle any of this. The next day, I broke up with my (boy)friend and, despite his best efforts to talk to me, I mostly avoided him for the last month. He looked so devastated every time I saw him, but I was far too much of a coward to explain things to him. A few weeks later we went our separate ways to Uni. We have never spoken again. Recently, by chance, I found a work profile for him (similar industries. We're unlikely to ever meet organically, but the fields are not completely separate). I would love nothing more than to contact him, apologise for everything, and explain that it was never anything he did. I don't want a relationship (hell, the shame I still feel makes me want to never speak to him again - again), but I still want so badly to tell him that I'm sorry for hurting him at such a young and vulnerable point in his life. I am aware, though, that it's been over 20 years. He's moved on with his life and any closure would possibly just be a selfish act on my part. What do you think, reddit?

I am 24 years now and a male. I have so much I wish to vent about but I’ll keep it simple. When I was younger I should have dated and filled around with girls more.

Ever since in elementary school I wished I had a friend or a partner who truly love or understand me. Now at 24 I still feel that same sentiment.

Instead of getting more in girls, or social groups or fiends like my half brothers did, I decided to hit the books and study. The reasoning for this is my parents and especially my mom shunned and demonized my half brothers saying they were gonna be “failures in the future”.

I wasn’t that smart, but I worked stupidly hard to get where I needed to be, however despite how hard I worked it was never enough. It cost me everything. I missed out on being a boy, young, highschool, and college love, and on important friend and social interactions.

Now I’m at 24 with a shitty business degree and 3.8 GPA and no real job prospects. Parents are divorced and I’m the loneliest I’ve ever been. I didn’t workout that much when I was younger so I’m not fit. I have no real romantics experience. And I’m seeing and hearing my roommates at 20 live their lives romantically, socially, and sexually.

If I could turn back time I would. Now I have to accept I’m turning 25 this year and I don’t know what I want to do anymore.

For anyone reading this, chose your experiences. Go sneak, go have fun, go kiss that girl, go on crazy trips with your homies. They won’t all matter not but they’ll matter to you one day. Go find your true love.

When I was 16 I rejected this 24 goth girl who wanted to sleep with me because I felt morally responsible to be the bigger man or responsible man to reject her.

I felt that I shouldn't participate in such hedonistic behavior which could result in bad consequences but now I'm in my mid 20s and have absolutely no experience with dating.

Could have had cool teenage experience which would result in giving me foundation and experience down the road but now I'm stuck in state of limbo.

Hi.

I basically did everything I thought I should have done in life. I studied a lot all through school. I wasn't convinced about university, but I did it anyway, because I "should".

I worked for years in shitty jobs and when the pandemic appeared, I found I really liked programming, so I went with that. But now the market is really different from the one I started and I'm worried that I will end up with no job and no chances to stay in the market.

I lost the chance to get two different citizenships because I thought I could not apply to them and got frustrated. Now that's not an option anymore.

And all through that, there was the idea of travelling, of living abroad, to live a lot of experiences that I never seemed to be able to match with university, my professional career, and some serious health problems.

And now? With my job on the line, with a bachelor's degree I don't care about and my health not in the best shape, I just grieve for the version of life I could have had if I had just taken those citizenships and could just start over and enjoy more of the real life experiences, not only the "shoulds". I wish I could just leave everything behind and start over on another country.

hello to whoever might read this . i’m using a throwaway account to write this post because i genuinely can’t believe what i did and im really ashamed of myself for it . for context im a 19 year old girl i live in the state of new jersey and last year when i was 18 , i met this boy online back in march , but i didnt talk to him until like late april to early may . we met on tik tok when i sent him a follow request , i just thought his profile looked cool , i never knew what i was getting into . we used to like send these stickers at first in tiktok dms , so we werent like actually talking but i stepped it up a notch when i created a second account to follow this boy on it , idk why i did this . i think its because i wanted him to be interested in me . anyways this worked , because we started talking after this point , so no more tiktok sticker , we were having full blown convos . we talked and almost sent 1000 messages in the first day we met . i had stalked this guy for like a month before we talked because we shared common interests like anime and stuff . anyways i grew to like this guy so much , like head over heels in love . at first we were friends but it became relationship not too soon after this . he was in miami , so we had a long distance relationship . it made me start acting like joe goldberg . i created a fake acc on insta and followed everyone he was following so i could see who he interacted with . i saw that on his friends acc there was a post that showed him graduating middle school . i was in shock because last year i was graduating high school , meaning i was 4 years older than this guy … this shocked me because he lied and told me he was 17 . however , i was madly in love so i continued talking to him despite knowing he was 14 and i was 18 . i’m so ashamed of myself , how could i have admitted i found out about that though ? it would make me look like a crazy stalker . anyways ill spare the details but we became like an actual couple but then around june 21st a girl messaged me saying he was her bf and he was cheating on her . i was distraught . like literally my life crumbled . i literally was like wtf am i doing with my life . i was supposed to be graduating and going to prom but i was talking to a 14 year old boy . i forgave him for cheating and we continued talking for months after that . we talked about children and being each others soulmate and stuff . then i found out he was still cheating on me with that same girl in november … i stopped talking to him for good after that and i freaked out thinking i could possibly go to jail , at that point i was 19 . i live in so much regret and guilt and i cant accept the fact that i might have groomed a 14 year old boy . how do i live my life normally after this ? could i have actually faced jail time for this had his parents found out and called the police ? it’s not possible if i stopped talking to him , right ?

I've been to therapy, stopped smoking cannabis, nothing seems to help. The feeling that there is not coming back.. That im IN... thats what I feel. I feel like I stunted my development. Did coke just in the worst moment I could do it... And i feel that some people (like my parents) can tell i tried coke just by looking at my face.. because from that day... that one line.. I´ve never felt like the same person. It was one small line in my right nostril... so Im looking forward to find a balance.. Everything in the streets tends to the Left... I cant live with the assymetry.. im thinking of doing it again (I dont really know when).. Since that night no girl has talked to me.. I was a pretty handsome guy and all of a sudden my face changed because of that ONE use... Now nobody trusts me.. neither I do. Every place I go.. there she Is. Coke.. I will never get out of my mind the thoughts that come with the shame because they´re so deep.. so incarnate.. so pregnant.. In every place that I look... I fucked up the rest of my life.. Flushed all my dreams to the toilet. Just because that one line... Poor boy... poor 20 year old boy that turned into this that I'm now... I don't know who I am anymore. I just want to end this.. this trap that I fell into that only I can relate. Automatic thoughts, all day. Tried therapy, is not working. Just no way OUT...

Hello everyone, this is driving me crazy and I have no one to talk to about it…. “A person” got his baby boy as a puppy when he was 2 months old … he was his world … he took him everywhere , in the woods , on the boat , to the beach … running off leash in woods trails 3 times a day until his death. People would and still would call him “ the world’s best dog dad “ because of all the amazing places he took him…. The issue that is eating him away daily since his death is that when he was 5 years old “a person” got into hardcore addiction… this never changed “ this persons” love for their dog but this person had days where he was so intoxicated he couldn’t even take him for a walk or do the fun things he’s so used to instead he ignored his dog all day … still fed him and took him outside to go to the bathroom but totally distant and not in his right mind … the dog would sleep all day visibly depressed … this would happen only 1 time a week so he would see him normal 6 days a week and that one day he was like a different person. The confusion in his eyes those days broke his heart . The next day he would sober up and make it up to him ten fold showering him with toys and treats and he bounced right back . He cry’s about the bad days he had put him through and the ignorance and selfishness that his addiction caused … he has been gone a year and he cry’s multiple times a day because he loves
him and miss him so much but his regret is eating him away. I want honest opinions on this … 99 percent of his life was amazing with constant adventure but it was those days .. 1 day a week for years that he feels so ashamed of .. please don’t hold back and give me the honest truth … how bad is this ? Did he hold resentment towards him ? “He” is just so ashamed… btw this person has been clean and sober since his dogs death.

It all started in 2020 where i met a girl(lets call her Eve) in my game lobby and we added each other and talked every single day and night. She was my best friend and i liked everything about her, it almost felt like she was a soulmate of mine.

Then 2023 hit and i got a girlfriend for the summer. We lasted together for 5months and during those 5months i didnt talk to Eve entirely.. i felt really bad because i blocked her even tho she was my best friend for 3years and we never disagreed with each other.after my first relationship, I added her back to aplogize and somehow she accepted my apology.

After my relation ship, we were friends again and i was happier than ever, then i had another relation ship a year later (it lasted only 3months),which also lead to me blocking Eve. When my second relation ship was over i added her back to apologise to her, and i really felt like a scumbag, i really wanted to be a better friend for her and not someone who chases girls and un adds her everytime i find someone.

Then it happened again 2years later.. i felt so guilty that i had to block her, i felt so bad that i didnt want to do it, but i still blocked her anyway. This relationship lasted a year and a few months, i added her back recently and i apologised for my actions once again, but this time she wasnt alone, she had someone else. Right now she is with him for exatcly 1 year and 3 months

I feel so stupid for all the things i did to her, she totatly didnt deserve them, im an awful friend. She has been there for me every single time, she has done so much for me and we made promised to meet each other some day. She even said i looked nice a few times, she helped me with all the girls that i liked, she was like a friend for me that i didnt deserve.

But why do i feel some sort of attraction to her.? lt feels wrong to see her happy with someone else, i mean he isnt even from our country, he isnt even from our continet, and yet she chose him. I understand that i did all of those horrible things, but why do i feel so sad that she finally has someone in her life special. Its this weird feeling that i cannot explain, but she is flying out to him probably for good this summer, in early june and right now its the end of may. I wish i didnt pick all of those girls instead of her, i wish i wasnt the way i am, i wish i had done things diffrently.

I feel the urge to do bad things to myself just because i lost someone so special to me. Im a shitty person, i should have picked her all of this time, i should have done things diffrently and i wish i could return back in time and do them right.

I do not know what to do now because i have what it feels like a huge rock on my heart sinking ir deeper and deeper every time.

TL;DR: I’m dealing with intense regret after realizing I have feelings for my best friend, but she is moving across the world to be with someone else this summer. I am struggling with immense guilt and don't know how to cope.

Just found out my dad has stage 4 lung cancer that has mestastized to multiple organs. He’s starting chemo and we’re going to fight it as much as possible, but the doctors say he won’t be here 5 years from now. I’m absolutely devastated but im trying to find the silver lining by doing things with him that are important since we have a known timeline. My question is, are there any regrets you have or things you wish you would have said or done with your parents while you had the chance? We have a great relationship so we don’t need to bury any ill will towards each other and we have a few “bucket list” trips planned for once he feels up for it but I just want to make sure I can make the absolute most of this time we have left and leave nothing unsaid or un-done with him. We just went to build a bear and I had him record a message to me to put in the bear which was a very emotional affair. But what are things you wish you had done with your parents or loved ones while you still had the chance? Thank you in advance. Also, any and all thoughts and prayers would be so welcomed.

I started my relationship with my partner (20 m) 10 months ago. Things were pretty rough when we started dating. I'd freshly gotten out of a relationship with a guy for 2 years. Things ended rough and the entire relationship wasn't exactly healthy. My goal was to spend the summer doing things that made me happy, relearning how to live on my own and breaking old habits.

We had broken up approximately a week before I was spending 2 weeks in Spain. On my trip, I was still messaging and staying in contact with this guy and it was mainly casual. He was expressing he missed me and still loved me.

My now current boyfriend messaged me about a week into my holiday asking if he were still dating. I said no and he explained that he had been seeing a girl I didn't know very well behind my back, flirting and lots of kissing. I wasn't angry at the time as we were no longer together, turns out it was ongoing for an entire month of our relationship.

Back to the point, my current boyfriend and me had never really spoken before that as he was my ex's friend and my ex believed I "fancied all of his friends". I now understand why he adopted that insecurity.

By the last night of my holiday, I was in a bad place. I called my current boyfriend and he consoled me until early morning. We ended up getting together. I went to see him when I got to the uk and for the first few months ran smoothly considering how rushed it was.

About 4 months in, I couldn't keep my ex off my mind. I missed him and became overly jealous and resented him and his new relationship. We ended up getting back into contact again and hooked up a couple times. I am incredibly ashamed of this.

We broke contact and came back to eachother many times all behind my boyfriend's back. I ended up moving 100 miles away and he even came to see me for a quick hookup. Then he cut me off as I explained I couldn't do it anymore, I needed to tell my current boyfriend the truth and make things right.

Me and my current boyfriend broke up before Christmas last year for a while after I told him about everything. It was a difficult christmas to say the least. I ended up moving back to where I previously was and we had arranged going to a new years party together. He decided to still show up to "leave things on a positive note".

In the meantime, we kept to minimal contact and stayed on an acquaintance basis. A couple days before the party, he asked if I wanted to take things slow, rebuild trust and try again as he wasn't ready to lose us. I said yes as long as he respects himself and if I do anything over the line he leaves me for good.

We've been together ever since and things have improved massively. We've both been incredibly open and seem way happier than we were before.

I'm not proud of my actions. I shouldn't have rushed into something I wasn't ready for, let the feelings for my ex intervene in the relationship and been unfaithful. I should've healed first. I've learnt not to resent myself but be thankful for what I have, how I've grown and how I can continue to grow.

Thank you for reading .

Yeee as the title said. Was in a long distance relationship for abt a year. She was my first everything including under the bed sheets. We were on and off talking for another year before. I only didnt do it since she dropped off and tbh I thought she'd leave again and welp she did leave. Still wish I said it at least once.

Ultimately was waiting until she could move in with me to say it but yeah still hard regretting it even if it was gonna fail.

Currently talking to a new girl thats not long distance but honestly this is still effecting me.

I don't even know why I'm writing this, I guess I just don't have anyone to talk to about this. My boyfriend asked for a threesome. I agreed at first because I was kinda into the idea and wanted to experiment (I had never sexually been with anyone but him) and after some time he told me he had a friend who also was into that stuff, They had known each other for years and she had apparently said told him he was into that stuff. I felt a little awkward about how it happened but I agreed. now the rest of this may sound a little confusing but while we were taking about this over the phone he was texting her and hung up on me at one point to talk to her. BUT HE LIED ABOUT IT. he said it was a "guy friend" when it was her. He told me it was her later and apologized for lying. But my trust was still broken.

The girl ended up backing out of it since she felt like it would make their friendship weird since they've known each other since middle school. which was fine, we didn't have a conversation about it again

that was a month ago, fast forward to now we are on the phone together and they are texting I can hear his ringtone going off over and over again and he's honest about its her when I ask but quickly tells me he has to call her to give her advice on something and it all happened so fast.

He dropped everything to call her, it was less than 10 seconds and he was gone and on the phone with her. I feel so insecure, it doesn't help that she overall looks better than me. I don't even know why I am writing this, I don't think I'm in the wrong but every time I tell him how I feel about her he just feeds me the same bullshit "your the only one I love". I don't believe it anymore. Now he's calling me again and I don't want to answer I have nothing more to say. all I feel hurt and hate for myself.

Im sorry if this sucks and my writing is awful, I just need to know that someone out there maybe is listening.

I'm 21M and I had these work buddies that I would frequently teamup with during work hours. A few times sex and relationships would come up and I would lie about both. I didn't want my business out there being spread around my job site. Ig I didn't sound confident enough bc they caught on to that I was lying and frequently teased me by showing women they had sex with, usually naked, during break or even on the clock, not all the time but when it came up. Before this I didn't care about sex and accepted fate but they legit would go on telling me telling how I need more confidence and should put myself out there for 15 mins straight. They probably thought they were helping me but it made me worse mentally. I failed to get some while in college and definitely wasn't getting any outside of it. I disliked going to bars and couldn't get pass posting selfies of me on dating apps. Seeking validation from people I don't even talk to anymore I hired an escort, I regret it immensely and got none of validation I would have if it was organically.

Was very active at a major shelter in Atlanta for several years and adopted 2 Pitt bulls, little did I know how stressful life would be because of it. While they are loving with me and the kids, one despises my husband who is patient thankfully. I hadn’t predicted I would need to move across the country either for a new job and would need to rent in a very high cost of living area. These dogs are scary and charge the fence at anyone who walks by. I can’t walk them together because one will redirect on the other and a fight will break out. When I do walk them it scares others with their dogs (doodles mostly) because I’m verbally giving them “off” commands as we approach other leashed dogs. At home I’m constantly on edge. I’m checking doors and gates and reminding my kids too, and what the consequences might be if we miss something. Also, we can’t have friends over, one is too scary, the other is at least people friendly. I wish I would have thought this through better.

This is just something I need to get of off my chest.

I had a best friend, it would have been two years just a week or two ago. In February, she lost someone dear to her and I was trying to be as good as possible to her but I said something that has been on my chest ever since.

I could probably text her, explain everything but it would feel like Im just trying to get back into her life and I don't want her to think I'm doing it because I'm lonely. Which I am. She's not gonna text me first and I know it.

She's the sweetest person alive and I've been a dick head without noticing for the longest time but I miss her everyday and even cried to my partner a few days ago about her when I was drunk. I think there is no turning back and that is something I've come to terms with because I don't think she wants me in her life anymore.

She's moved on, I've tried and couldn't. She was my highlight.

I don't know what to text her, if I even can text her. It's been months since the incident and I feel like some deadline has been surpassed. But I hope shes happy with her life, I know she is. She has so many people around her now and I'm greatful she has those people, I just wish I was apart of that life in some way.

I miss you Elizabeth, but I know youre happier now and I hope life goes well for you. I will sit here and always think about what I've done, the lies I told and what I've said because I feel I don't deserve to move on yet. I will when that time comes but until then, I will sit here.