r/Regrets

I'm a 25 F, virgin

I'm someone who believes in sex after marriage but I did try to bend around that belief

My sexual experience is that I have made out with 2 girls prior to this interaction with the guy

I let the guy who was pursuing me for sexual intimacy suck on my tits and lick my navel 3 to 4 times in his car during the span of 2 months.

I kinda knew his intentions weren't genuine from the start but I was going through a rough patch and I had no one, he was there available no matter how much I pushed him away in the beginning

He used to push my boundaries and I felt like yeah let me do it at that moment but later ended up having deep regrets.

Ik it's just tits and navel still I feel this crumbling sense of guilt and regret all the time now

I heard he got drunk and told his friends that he has done me 2 to 3 times and once the videos arrive he will show them

Initially I was afraid he might have just recorded us getting intimate in his car then I started having regrets about letting a guy who thought I was a conquest do stuff for me

It all became too much anxiety panic and guilt regret about what I have done

I then started convincing myself it's ok I had to have that experience to know I am not Lesbian atleast now I know I'm bi

Then I told myself I made him do body worship for me so i should not feel bad about the entire ordeal but no matter what I feel so bad at the end of the day it feels like I have committed some horrible crime

I am not able to navigate my emotions i question myself if I liked him if i still like him I'm a mess

On one end i fear if he has made any videos on another end i feel I so stupid that i got manipulated so easily i just don't know how I should look at this entire thing

[removed]

Just remember you can try to seek help for your mental health and be prescribed a medication that you didn’t want because you wanted to try a medication from the same family of meds you had been taking, but the doctors know better, right? But it not only ends up making it worse by shutting neurotransmitters in your brain but also leads to your life be ruined in just 5 months and you’re fiancé leaving because all you could do is reference a memory of what you want and not say what you actually want(I wanted a hug and just kept saying I need you). This isn’t a reason to not seek help just be careful with the medication and who you keep in your company.

There’s probably more to the story than that but my head really hurts when I call back on those memories, they are also super fragmented. Apparently it’s referred to as a chemical lobotomy, which I don’t believe is an actual medical term but it’s pretty accurate at describing what happens with the bad side effects of the medication I was taking.

I’m 18 years old, and I recently lost the person I loved most because of something I did.
We had been together for almost a year. She was my first serious relationship and my first real love. I know I’m young, and I know people will probably tell me that I have my whole life ahead of me, but right now it genuinely feels like I lost the person I wanted to spend my life with.
A few weeks ago, something happened that completely changed our relationship.
One night, after we had slept together, we went to sleep. I woke up before her during the night. I honestly don’t know what was going through my head at that moment, but while she was still asleep, I touched her intimate areas.
She eventually realized what was happening and woke up. She was extremely upset and hurt by what I had done. At one point, she thought that I was trying to penetrate her, which made the situation even more frightening and upsetting for her.
I immediately understood that I had crossed a serious boundary, and I deeply regret it.
What makes it even harder for me is that I can’t give myself a good explanation for why I did it. There was no excuse for it. I know that she was asleep and had not consented to what I was doing.
But what makes this situation even more difficult for me is what happened afterwards.
For about three weeks after that night, we were still together. We continued seeing each other, going out together, being affectionate, and having intimate moments. We still told each other “I love you” and other loving things. From my perspective, we were still a couple and there were moments when she seemed genuinely happy to be with me.
She was even sad when I left for my vacation, and nothing about those three weeks made me think that she had completely decided to end our relationship.
Then, after those three weeks, she sent me a message telling me that I had done something she could never forgive.
That message completely broke me because, from my perspective, I had spent the previous three weeks believing that although something terrible had happened, we were still trying to move forward together.
I understand now that her continuing to be with me afterwards doesn’t erase what happened or make it less serious. She may have needed time to process what happened, and I can’t assume that I knew what she was feeling during those three weeks.
She eventually told me that she no longer loved me and that she didn’t want to continue the relationship. She told me that I had deeply disappointed her, and she ultimately decided to leave me.
I know I can’t undo what happened. I know that apologizing doesn’t erase what she experienced, and I understand that she has every right to decide that she doesn’t want me in her life anymore.
But I’m having an incredibly difficult time accepting that one moment of terrible judgment could destroy the relationship I cared about so much.
I loved her deeply, and I still do. I don’t want to use that as an excuse or as a reason for her to forgive me. I just don’t know how to deal with the guilt, the regret, and the fact that I may have permanently lost someone I loved because of something I did.
I’m not posting this because I want people to tell me that what I did was okay. It wasn’t. I’m not looking for excuses or false hope.
I want honest advice from people who have been through something similar.
How do you live with the guilt of knowing that you hurt someone you genuinely loved? How do you accept that you may never be forgiven or get another chance? And how do you move forward when you know that you are the reason the relationship ended?

Be careful what you wish for... My nine year old son said it a few nights ago as we rot in a small disgusting house in the Philippines.

I was a technical manager at a great company in Thailand making a good salary. Everything wasn't perfect but looking back.... It really was.

My boss was my best friend and teacher and I was upset his son had started pushing me out of the picture... Looking back it was simple jealousy and he is a good guy doing his best as the company is struggling a bit.

Took a job in South Africa which is my birth country and took my two beautiful kids and my amazing wife with.

The culture shock hit me so hard that I didn't know which way to turn. After eighteen years in beautiful Thailand it felt like my entire life had been pulled from under me. I couldn't think straight and didn't sleep for months while trying to do a job which requires I interact with those who really didn't want me there.

On top of that, all of our things.... Everything except what we brought with on the flight was lost in transit between Thailand and sa.

I kept running... And running until we hit visa issues and I just gave up and flew here with the family.

Now.... After all the terrible decisions I can only look back and realize our lives are over.

Visa will expire soon and burnt all our money and savings running.

Be careful what you wish for and never make decisions from a place of fear.

All is done

It's over

All our dreams

My babies dreams of being doctor and engineer over

My wife and my dreams over

Building a future.... Over

Everything is finished

I'm 46 years old and its my birthday in four days

Happy birthday

I just need to get it off my chest, i got scammed out of 1600 cause I was gonna link with this girl, kept asking for more and more deposits to ensure her safety and before I knew it I had dropped 1600 dollars. im such an idiot but it ain't the end of the world.

​

Hello. For the past 4 years I've been living with extreme guilt and regret. It's gotten to a point where my health is slowly deteriorating. I have heart problems..panic attacks. This guilt is because of something I've done to a family member 4 years ago. I see that family member everyday. And everytime my mind replays what happened. My social life is basically non existent. Because of a somewhat difficult childhood and what happened with that family member. I don't think blabbing to the internet really is a solution but it's better than nothing. Any advice on how to manage this guilt? Thank you in advance.

so back in january of this year i met this guy on tt and we started chatting . i told him i was 16 turning 17 (i was acc 15 turning 16) and he was 18 turning 19 . i thought it wasn’t a big deal since i gen thought we will only be friends for like a week and then ghost each other and also i have an early birthday (april) so i thought none of it . but then we talked more and then in june we started dating . whatever online dating but the thing is that we’ve never met and he still doesn’t know my real age . i truly do like him and i regret what i did . it was really immature of me and i wish i never did that. i’m so attached to him now tho im scared ill tell him and he’ll leave . he is perfect. and if this helps the age of consent in both of our countries is 16 so nothing illegal going on here .

Refuses to show me anything or give access. Has Snapchat and score was 68. All of sudden she deleted snap chat now and has a snap score of 72. Fact is 4 snaps were added or sent. But she says nope that's not true im wrong and it's all me. Im phycotic she says.

Im 21f, my little brother is 15 and i have an older sister who is 25. Me and my brother have always had a rocky relationship. We get along well and laugh when we was younger, he was like my baby. Always with him. But as i got bit older, i got so annoyed by him. He always has a lot of energy and i dont. He was so annoying and misbehaved. My older sister hit him when he was misbehaving from a young age. He would also fight back but yk he was way younger than my sister and me. I used to get so annoyed that me and him would fight. My sister moved eventually so only us two together. Me and him continue arguing and him always annoying me. I think he has adhd or something. He also has big anger issues. When he gets mad, he gets REALLY mad. We have kicked each other and scratched. I mostly gets so annoyed and he is all in my face and wont listen so i have pushed him away. He has gotten into trouble with the police at 15, where he had to stay there for a night and he has tried some drugs.

This has been insanely tough for me and my family. Always worrying about him. He is a pretty spontaneous and energetic. When he annoyed me he would continue even when i said stop and kept going until i had to physically push him out my room and lock my door, he keeps pushing my door and kicking the door and then starts a fight. He has said that he remembers all the times where i hit him and same with my sister and that he wants to take revenge and has hit me even harder, he is taller and stronger than me now. He has said he wanted to kill me when we fought. He also said he has no empathy I genuinely got so scared that i had to go out the house, and this has happened multiple times.

We dont live together now, he lives with my dad and i live with my mom. I am scared that i have made him a violent person, that its my fault that he has anger issues. That i have pushed him down so much that he now is arrogant. That he felt so bad bc of me and my sister that he now is taking revenge. My parents used to fight a lot too but i dont think this is bc of them. I want the best for him and i hope he gets better with age. I always care abt what he is doing and his safety. But when i see old pictures of us or when i think about him i just cry and regret what i have done. I wish i showed more love, i wish i comforted him more bc i am his older sister but we just kept arguing. I cant go back in time and that hurts me. I dont think i will ever stop regretting this.

I am in a same sex relationship and we had a baby boy in March and although I do love him - I really wasn’t ready. My mother passed away just before I decided to do IVF and I spent her inheritance money for IVF. I wasn’t thinking about what I was doing. I felt like everything I done was rushed and now he is here I have realized I am not ready for motherhood and I am not ready to be a mother.

I should be grateful that it worked on our first try but I’m just filled with dread and regret that I didn’t listen to others when they asked me if I was sure I was making the right decision. I should’ve thought carefully about if this is what I really wanted.

I feel sick to my stomach every day and I just want to die because I can’t look after him, I can’t even look after myself.
I’m in no position financially and I have only been able to keep part time jobs my whole life.

I think about killing myself every day because I can’t live with the guilt and shame. I should be happy I’ve got a lovely little boy but I’m not. He doesn’t deserve this. He deserves a mother who wants him.

I don't want to get into too many details, but here it goes — I had an opportunity to live and work in the US, obtained my green card, and my husband and I had great salaries and lived a very comfortable and adventurous life. Looking back, I feel like we had it all to live a fulfilling middle-class life.

However, we made the decision to move back to our home country and surrender our green cards. It was all very carefully calculated, thought through, logical, and ticked all the boxes. It's been a year in our home country, and if you knew the details, you'd say, "Great, you made it! An absolute dream deal!"

Nevertheless, there hasn't been a week when I haven't felt like I made the biggest mistake of my life. I find it hard to feel fulfilled, even though everything is going so well. What I'm looking for here is this: despite your story or circumstances, what helped you move on? Was it a new routine? Was it a thought you read or heard somewhere? Anything. I'm looking for support. For something that could help me rewire my brain because there's zero chance of me ever being able to get back to the US, let alone continue the life I had there.

Im a doctor. I studied medicine because i wanted to be useful and told myself that i would like it. I did sometimes, but not enough. I had a tendency to shy away from big responsibility; adapted myself to taking it anyway. Most of all, i find myself thinking about my true interest: green innovation. Coming up with an idea that will improve everyone's life instead of "helping" one person at a time.

I am 30 and starting a new degree is financially impossible for me. I will have to live out my life knowing i have not stayed true to my core passions and beliefs. Any advice as to how?

My boyfriend dumped me and opened a sloppy Joe restaurant and I went nuts and left nyc the city I loved to move to a city in the most bored I’ve ever been why did I do this to my self 😭

Warning: Triggering details about sexual assault

On my 16th birthday, after going out to eat with my family, I came home and was talking to a "friend." We will call them J. J had a bad reputation in town for taking advantage of girls, but I thought since he was my friend that things would be different... how naive of me...

I lived in the basement of my mom's house that she rented. I had a large egress window that I often used to sneak out and sneak friends in at night. I invited J over and told him where to find my window. He was already visibly drunk and probably on other drugs when he entered my room, and offered me some of his alcohol. I drank some, and he immediately got grabby with me. I expressed I just wanted to hang out because of how full of food I was...

We watched Easy A, one of my favorite movies at the time, and how ironic.... He ended up forcing himself on me. He made me to oral to him even though I expressed that I didn't want to and that I had never done that before. He forced my head down while it happened, and I ended up throwing up because of him forcing himself deeper in my mouth. He didn't stop after I threw up, so I had to swallow my vomit.... I knew it was going to be bad after that... He went on to sodomize me. He was a big guy, over 6ft tall and over 200lbs, and I was 5'5" and 100lbs, so he laid himself atop me, so I couldn't get out from him even though I tried to get away and push him off. I just wasn't strong enough...

All this time my abusive mother and her boyfriend were upstairs, without a clue. He got his fill, and he left my room. He didn't even care/notice how horrified and visibly traumatized I was. I contemplated going upstairs to tell my mom what had just happened to me, but I feared the retaliation I would get from her... and the judgement I would get from her boyfriend who already hated me... I took a shower and sobbed. I could barely accept the reality of that evening, and I didn't want to be honest with myself about my part I played in my assault. I felt, and still feel, so much shame about this over 10 years later. I didn't even tell my closest friend until weeks later... I even had a hard time coming home to my bedroom and looking at my bed was scary. I tried reorganizing my furniture, but I could still see the events happening... I had nightmares, and I still do sometimes. I started using a lot of alcohol and drugs, and stopped going home to my room most days. The horror still lingers in my subconscious. I regret so much not reporting him to the police because I was not his first rape... I still have a hard time being intimate with people because I get flashbacks of what happened to me, and I get very scared when I feel trapped or pinned down... The assault even changed me physically, after he sodomized me, my anus prolapsed, which has never gotten better because I was so ashamed to talk to a doctor about it. Thankfully, I am off the booze and drugs, and I go to therapy, but I don't know when I won't be afraid anymore.

Please, don't wait to report assault...

Hello. While by myself I tend to look out my window and think how my life could have gone. A lot of it is to do with women lol. For the record I have never had a girlfriend but could have done. I was bullied very badly online which resulted me in being terrified of using a phone. A women my age who is very good looking said we should hang out and wanted my number but I had nothing for her. Now I haven't seen her for a year. I regret wasting a lot of time stressing about silly shit also in my early 20s when I could of be doing something much more productive. Now I have started to get my shit together. Got a phone and working towards driving. As well as buying new clothes. Anybody else had similar regrets? Thank you for reading.

The day I let go

I’ve always loved him. I loved the way he made me feel, I loved the way he cared for me, I loved the way he treated me. I loved the way he knew how to make me smile but on top of everything, I simply just loved him. Over the past year, since marrying him. I slowly learnt about pieces of him that didn’t seem to fit in my puzzle, it was as if the puzzle piece was altered, broken perhaps. So I spent my time psychologically analysing him, trying to excuse his behaviour, I even went far as to blame his parents for everything. Yet, it wasn’t until my very birthday that I finally realised that I’m not giving up on him, but rather I’m learning how to let go of him. My birthday. I’ve always always loved my birthday, it was like a day of just me, a celebration of me. I always made birthdays a big deal, he used to say “it’s not a birthday, it’s a birthweek/birthmonth for you”. My birthday finally came around, I ordered a beautiful vintage cake, I even wore my brand new dress. But, there in the crowd full of people singing to me, the one person I wanted to join was not there. The one person I always look for first in a room full of people. The one who I wanted to be next to me, to hold me, to love me and to make me feel better. He was not there. At first, I dodged the feelings of hurt and sadness, but then it came rushing down when I even offered him cake later on to have, my birthday cake, but he said no. No. The man that wants to be with me, the man who loves me, the man who cares for me. The man I married.

Me and my ex were together for about 3 years. We broke up recently because she said her feelings/love weren’t there anymore. There were definitely problems in our relationship, and I know I played a part in them. I did things before that made her feel like she wasn’t being chosen or prioritized, and it damaged her trust in me.
We haven’t been together for a little while, and I’ve been trying to deal with the breakup. I have talked to another girl since we broke up, but it’s honestly just been friendly texting. I don’t want anything serious with her and I wouldn’t have slept with her or anything like that.
Today my ex came over and we talked. She told me she wants to try talking again. She even told me her sister tried setting her up with another guy and she didn’t want it. She also asked me if I’d been talking to any females. I said no, which wasn’t completely true because I’ve been texting that one girl. I said no because I’m scared my ex will hear that and immediately think I slept with someone, moved on, or was replacing her.
Now we’re talking about what we’d need to change if we tried again. She says she’s going to want to look through my phone because trust between us is bad. I’m willing to be open with her, but I don’t want our entire relationship to become her checking my phone constantly. I want to actually rebuild trust instead of living under surveillance.
I’m also seriously considering deleting most of my social media anyway. I mainly kept it because I’d get bored/lonely, and I don’t really care about it that much. I even considered deleting TikTok because it keeps suggesting my other ex when I search, and I know that would probably cause unnecessary problems.
The thing is, I’m genuinely willing to change. I want to be more honest, loyal, communicate better, make her feel chosen, and stop doing things that create unnecessary problems. But I’m scared I’ll do all of that and she’ll still leave me.
If you were me, would you try again? And how would you handle the trust/phone situation and the fact that I wasn’t completely honest about talking to another girl?

I think I messed up… Last year I got married to my now wife. I’m 32 she 35. When we got married I was transitioning into career of Martine & being away from home and she was in her PHD program with a few more years left .

We got married after knowing each other after 6 months… we had a great connection from the start. I proposed to her and married her that same year. She was on the fence about having children and I’ve always wanted them. I guess I thought she would become more clear as we got married and build our life together.

Fast forward…

Now I’ve no longer working in marine time career and Preparing to serve in the Military ( for education benefits ). Without my student loans ect.

She doesn’t want to live that life and also still on the fence about having children.

She seems sad often and tells me that she feels like I lied to her about what I wanted… in a nutshell I need some advice if I made a mistake on getting married.

I love her and don’t want another woman AT ALL! she just doesn’t seem happy with life! And I don’t want to keep going on if there are going to be regrets.

Oh how does one even do this?

Well as many probably experienced, covid either brought the best or the worst out in relationships. My marriage basically fell apart during that time, and because we had very little to no communication or interaction, we were both completely isolated, but together.

Finally I had to find someone(s) to connect with (after a year of quarantine I was completely losing it), and started writing penpals. I did not find it easy to find penpals for adults.

I often thought about how life would never be the same and maybe we’d be stuck inside forever. It was a downward spiral that didn’t seem to have a bottom. Then I thought about people who were stuck inside forever (prisoners) and how bad it must feel to be completely forgotten. So I wanted to write prisoners to remind them that somebody knows they exist. I also wrote first responders, teachers, etc. Just as a way to say thank you.

This is where it gets crazy. Soooo.. I wound up falling completely in love with a penpal. Head over heels, had never felt anything so strong. Asked for a divorce and moved across the country try to be near my “beloved”.

To explain a little about my marriage: it was sexless for 10+ years, in his eyes I could never do anything right, and although he’d never admit it out loud, surely I was a burden to him as I have always just been a hot mess (adhd diagnosed 3 years after divorce. So who knows, maybe that, or I’m not sure what’s wrong with me).

Both of us sucked at communication. I thought never fighting meant it was a pretty good marriage (excluding the intimacy), but turns out it really means that you aren’t communicating. Neither of us was blameless. Both of us deserve someone who can love us the way we ought to be loved.

So our marriage wasn’t terrible, it just had no passion and we were just surviving, not thriving. I grew up in chaos, so the fact that he was never physically violent with me was enough for me to say it was not terrible.

So I left the marriage for a convict, who after 3 years tried to trick me into committing a crime (I was naive and couldn’t imagine someone who loved me would ever ask of me these things). I make bad choices, but breaking the law is not one of them. So I refused and broke off the relationship.

Perhaps not surprisingly, my life has gone straight to shit ever since. I got a dog and he was really sick most his whole life, I had him 2 years before he passed away from an acute GI bleed. That wrecked me and I grieved a year + (like crying all day, not eating, walking 3-6 miles a day bc I couldn’t stand how quiet it is in here without him). Oh and I went bankrupt due to being stupid with money and also spending anything to save him.

Due to various and long standing reasons, my relationship with my dad was severed during this time, and my (ex)best friend and I had a falling out, I’ve failed 4 different psych meds, and I thought I’d found love but it turned out I was a great distraction.

Finally I felt like I was ready to try again, and I got my soul dog, Zara. Since my first dog had been so sick all the time, every little thing she did that was normal was a celebration to me. Well 3 weeks ago I learned she had bone cancer that had spread to her lungs so she crossed the rainbow bridge 2 weeks ago. I’m still in a dissociative fog I think.

I often think about how maybe I should have just stayed in the not terrible marriage, because now everything I touch seems to break. (Even though acknowledging that I think he and I deserve better than what we were capable of giving each other). I think about how- maybe I asked for too much and now I’m being punished for it. Except it’s not me being punished, it’s everyone who comes into my life.

It’s not like I’m going to do anything about it, but if I was no longer here, that would be just fine by me. Nothing seems to have a point anyways and everything I try for is a fail.

I don’t ever tell ppl that story bc it sounds crazy, but knowing my background it makes complete sense to me to risk it all to “save” someone from being totally forgotten by the world.