r/Regrets

She and I got to know each other in June 2022 when I was 23 and she was 22 and we became best friends after 6 months and I asked her out to be my gf and we started dating. We dated in person for 6 months and then fell in love but she moved away and we started ldr. She changed over there as she found new friends, new life, new everything. I felt like an option at times as I found myself putting in more efforts in the relationship and at times it felt like I was trying to keep our ldr alive else she’d have found someone else. I was unemployed because it was tough to find a tech job in that market and I was running out of my savings in terms of flying to her or gifting her things but i somehow managed because I loved her. She treated me disrespectfully and yelled at me for something and I really saw her true colors when I visited her one summer and then I broke up with her. It was the worst time of my life but I just worked on myself, made new friends and eventually got a tech job. I was flying on cloud9 and I thought I was the problem. We both were still in touch and then later got back together and 2025 was a blast with her. We traveled a lot and made so many memories and the wedding talk came up for which I wasn’t ready yet because I was back in school and had to fund that to get thru it.

I discussed wedding in nov2025 but she said no because she wasn’t ready which made sense but I learnt that we both were serious about it and I told her I’d propose to her in the second half of 2026 as I land a full time job again and I’m done with masters. However, out of nowhere she and her family came to our home in December 2025 and convinced us to get married. She was controlling and manipulative at times as they were forcing us to invite guests only they liked and she was asking me to cut off some people. I got really stressed out because I loved her but this was not the person she is. I talked to her about it but she’d flip her phone in anger. She gave me an ultimatum that either we get married or the relationship is off the table. I got stressed out even more and reluctantly said yes but I had a stress attack and was sent to the er. after discharge, she asked me for a diamond ring to propose her so I got one somehow and flew to her place the following week and proposed to her in the most romantic way possible. But my gut said something was off and kept screaming no as I was still recovering. My family asked about her and her family from several people here as they didn’t know much about them and learnt some dark truths about them from their friends like “illegal cases” and taking over people’s homes and just bad intentions. They had a habit of starting a fight and blaming other people and stuff like that. We eventually said no for the wedding after getting to know more about them and how their behavior changed as the wedding date was getting close as I felt like I had no say in this wedding in terms of what I wanted and everything was according to what my ex wanted.

It’s been 3 months now and I feel like I regret it. I feel like I came under family pressure and said no. I really did love her but I lost respect for her parents for the language they use and calling me and my family some inappropriate words. I love her though and we’ve made beautiful memories for 3 years. I’m 27 now and feel like I broke up at the worst time possible when I could’ve been married by now. I really do care about respect. She’s called me a mf before and asked me to cut people off and manipulate which is okay but I can’t tolerate anything against my family because I am where I am because of them. I still regret this. This was my first ever relationship.

i had a desire to do something and it happened today, i thought it will be good and great but......

After doing that I feel sooooo bad, I feel nauseous.

I don't know what to do 😭😭😭

Throwaway goon account so I don't care, but I don't even know where to start but I'm not a good guy. I'm distant with my family, who are loving, supportive, and adoring people, yet I always feel alienated around them or when I talk to them, I get anxious at the idea of calling the ones closest to me.

I'm also not a good boyfriend. My girlfriend (23F) are going to have been together 5 years in two months, yet I am now conflicted on whether or not I still love her, and sometimes my depression and anxiety causes me to speak to her in ways I always end up regretting. She's done me wrong repeatedly (not cheating), but I decided to stay and forgive her yet I still find myself bringing up the past. She's put on weight and it's off putting to me, but I know she's trying to do better.

I am also convinced that I am in love with my best friend (27F). She and I were always close, we didn't talk much in high school but grew close in our early twenties post graduation. We'd been best friends since about 2018, and she has a husband who is a wonderful man and also a friend of mine. He's so kind that when I had nowhere to go in 2019 my best friend bought my plane ticket and flew me across the country and he opened his home to me for over a year. I never once made any moves on her, but the feelings probably didn't develop yet. Nowadays I would never tell her how I feel and disrespect them or their relationship, but sometimes interactions and conversations with her fill me with this deep guilt and sadness.

And finally I also realized with age comes introspection. Times are changing and some days I feel like a washed up version of someone I used to be. I grew up as a delinquent, a bully, a thief, and a thug. Yet I was popular and well liked, I was rarely ever treated as the villain in situations because in my local city I was liked everywhere I went. As time changes, and I get older. I work, pay bills, and live life. People are starting families and their careers and they're still kind, but they no longer look at me with fear (which is nice), but the looks of admiration and glorification have stopped as well. I know it's normal, but it's all new to me. Nobody cares about some washed up street brawler anymore. People grow up.

I know it's part of life and a lot of these are more complex than they sound. I just couldn't put everything into one post. On top of that, I might be bi?

AMA if you want, I really just feel like I need to talk.

I am feeling guilty about something that could have been changed if I hadn't said it, but now the situation has worsened to the point where I cannot forgive myself.

Please help me overcome this. It has been hard for me to handle, and it is eating me up inside.

I regret playing that stupid game. I've been called a N@zi, a child, a six-year-old with daddy issues, a troll, a ragebaiter, and all the worst things you can imagine by the fans of that game. They are honestly the worst community I've ever interacted with. Anytime I complain to them about it they tell me to "get help" like they aren't the reason I need help. I can't get the stupid bullying out of my head.

Look, I don't like Fallout 4 anymore. I admit the game had a lot of issues I didn't initially notice. I wasn't willing to admit it for the longest time because I wanted to hold on to that part of me that thought the game was good. But now I know it's bad. I might've even come to that conclusion on my own eventually. But the things you people said to me were inexcusable. You all made me hate my life and made me want it all to end. I can't take this shit anymore. I regret ever touching that stupid fucking game. Even ignoring my toxic relationship with the community, I probably wouldn't have wanted to play it if I knew it wasn't a good story game.

I’m almost 28M, I graduated college at 21 into Covid, when to an in person graduate program right after school but it ended up going online and I had trouble learning so I dropped out. I then spent 1 year doing nothing and playing video games. After I got a job as a pharmacy tech and have been one for about5 years while living with parents. At 27 I decided to go back to school and do prerequisites for Respiratory Therapy. And I start my Respiratory therapy program this fall. However I feel like in my 20’s I just worked and came home. Hung out with some friends occasionally. But I feel like like I’m so behind and I wish I had made more friends so I didn’t feel super lonely all the time and now every time I go on social media I see people living their life and having fun with friends and I feel like a failure becasue I don’t have as many friends as them and I’m still at home with parents and probably won’t be able to move until 30 when I get a job after I finish my program.

I'll start with trusted the wrong person...

I want to say sorry to the girl me and my friends used to exclude in middle school. When I started middle school I met new friends, including the girl. I can’t remember how it started but I know that we didn’t have a reason to do this. We (my friends) excluded this girl and did stuff to her that made her feel excluded those three years of middle school. Even though I didn’t do anything directly myself, I was apart of it and want to apologize to her. It’s now been a year since we graduated from middle school, and I’ve been thinking about her a lot recently. I knew what we did was wrong and I regret what we did deeply. Even while it was happening. I was a coward who didn’t want to speak up, afraid to ruin my friendships with the other girls. She blocked me on snap a few months after we graduated, which I 100% understand. I want nothing more than to apologize to her and tell her how sorry I am for how I treated her those three years. Should I reach out to her and apologize for what I did, or should I let her be without ruining her teenage years further? I don’t want to apologize for myself or to give myself closure. I truly want to apologize for what I did because I was a terrible person. I’ve grown a lot these months and realized that I should apologize. I need advice for how I should approach this, and if I should apologize at all.

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I'm very upset, I had a discussion with a person on the basis of a religious and respectable discussion.
He is European and we were speaking English, i am ARAB and English isn’t my first language, it’s literally my fourth language, he is 6 years older than me
He was writing faster than me because it is his language He wanted to prove to me that Islam is wrong,
I gave him a chance to discuss me and above everything I even made him talk to me on Discord, i just regret giving him that opportunity to express himself, i didn’t know he was a rude person, he never respected that i was open to listen, he acted childishly and morally superior to me ,when i wasn’t convinced by his arguments and that he couldn’t change my opinion or anything in my beliefs, he literally crashed tf out and sent rude messages then blocked

I mean, why some Western people are like this?
Why do they make it feel like they are higher than the Arabs and they understand more
I don't control the place where I was born
This topic is really psychologically exhausting, I am upset that there are people who are dismissing me and concluding my human existence with my religion and my place of birth solely!!!!

I am not just a place of birth or classification by a racist person in someone’s imagination. I’m a conscious person, i think, and i discuss flexibly and politely in a language other than my mother tongue and i am VERY open to the difference of opinions

When i tried to explain that i am harmless, why are you trying to convert me ? He said that he believes that i shouldn’t be muslim and he cannot see anything but hatred and stereotypes in his mind to satisfy his ego, this is so unbelievably sick!! His opinion revolves around that he is setting up himself as a guardian for me and my beliefs, he claims “human rights and freedom of expression” while also being contradictory about me having an opinion

I believe that I never need to justify my humanity or my inner peace to anyone on the internet, i hope to anyone reading this and continued till the end, PLEASE, be kind to other fellow humans, please, if you live in a better place, in an improved economical and technological country, know that this never , ever , makes you any higher valued human being than anyone else, this is sick, and i feel sick just to know that people are living normally with such big moral defect because the real value of a person in his manners, the way he deals, and his thought, not his passport

Sorry for the long post, probably will delete it in a while

Cut this post from 30 paragraphs to 6. Hopefully it gets more traction now.

I (31M) got broken up with by my girlfriend (26F) of 8 years a little over a month ago and I'm struggling badly. I'm Black and Christian while she's Pakistani and comes from a Muslim family/community. Apparently she's been atheist for a while and never spoke up. I struggled with it for a bit, but given all of the religious trauma she endured, I looked past it and accepted her as she was. Something her parents would never do. They are extremely strict and fully expect her to marry a Pakistani Muslim guy.

First five years, she was in college and starting her career and still living at home. We were having fun and we figured we'd deal with her parents later. Whatever. By year six, she moved out and I gave her an entire paycheck to furnish her living room 2k - 2.5k). She suffers from depression, two of her best friendships ended, and I'm all she has during this time so I have to wear multiple hats.

By year seven, she was extremely depressed and wasn't able to take care of herself properly. We lived an hour apart and I would make that drive multiple times a week, bringing her food, medicine, running her errands, getting groceries, cleaning up all her trash and empty water bottles and food, folding her laundry, washing dishes, being her handyman, encouraging her through the worst suicidal episodes imaginable, all while she refused to seek help from a therapist or speak up to her parents. I did all of this out of love to show her that through all stages, I was here for her. To show her that I was intentional and truly her future husband through sickness and health.

After three years of me begging, she enrolls in therapy. Within a year, she's on meds. They kick in, her entire demeanor changes. A month later, she breaks up with me two weeks before our 8year anniversary saying that the breakup was 99% her fault and she should've never gotten with me because she knew she'd never be able to stand up to her parents. She said that her new goal is to meet another guy who's from a Muslim family but is also secretly atheist because that would be easier for her.

She seems totally fine with throwing away 8 years with someone who has shown her unconditional love through all her trials and tribulations. Someone who was willing to sacrifice their mental health for 3 years just to set us up for the next 30. I poured my heart out to her (20+ pages) and all she says is "I'm sorry for the hurt I've caused"...

She said she got on Hinge a month after we broke up to "fill the void" and she's going out flirting with guys at bars with her friends. She cut off her location and now said that she wants no contact until at least August so she can have her time to process the break up. How do you process a breakup while using other men on dating apps to fill the void. I don't eat, I don't sleep, I keep missing work and I just sit around crying while she has the time of her life. Eight years and nothing to show for it but suffering. Is it bad that I just want her to snap out of it and come back? The other part of me wants the worst karma for her. Idk what to do or feel..

so a year ago when I was 14, online there was a really nasty and rude hate comment of an artist I liked. so me being stupid, saw that the comment was like 10 months old and the account of the person who said rhat was abandoned, so I replied saying “k yourself“. yeah. idk what was wrong with me I seriously am so disgusted and disappointed in myself I wanna cry, and I was justifying it because I had SOOOO REALLY horrible friends (now former friends) at the time who went around throwing slurs and saying k** to every single person even over some random opinions and disagreements. so in my head I thought it was okay if I did the same, but I genuinely can’t believe I did that, even tho I got influenced that doesn’t justify it

like I’ve told people about this before and they said “it’s not that deep”, “it was just a comment”, “it was two words” “it’s just the internet” etc, but no I literally did what I frown upon others for, and was a disgusting hypocrite and said something terrible and I’ve improved now and would never say that ever but like idk it was just really a terrible time online for me and idk why I said that if my friends found out they would probably be SO Disappointed, rightfully so, idek anymore

When I was 16, I developed a drinking problem in which I would drink vodka mixed with juice sun up to sun down. My mom let me, but when I got out of control she would be reasonably pissed. (She was also an alcoholic) When I was drinking like this (often to the point of extreme hangovers where I couldn't hold anything down for 12 hrs) I started developing a habit of using porn and masturbation as a distraction/coping mechanism. (2x a day) I also unfortunately developed an addiction to ai chatbots. (I KNOW, it sucks and I do everything I can to oppose it now) I have realized the effects of all issues (except alcohol) and stopped since, but I feel guilty because I just had that weird long phase in the first place. I also unfortunately fell into the influence of the visual novel, Class Of 09' and took it upon myself to be purposely more mean and "bitchy" than I needed to. I like to consider myself pretty chill and normal now but, maybe relatability or support would be appreciated to break me out of my spiral. Thanks!

My online friend (a 32-year-old man) rejected me and ignored my last message for a month because he had a new girlfriend the week I confessed my romantic feelings. Then he got back to me with a casual message. He said he had been depressed for a while and didn't want to disturb me with this mood. That's why I didn't asked him, "why did you ignore me?" I didn't say that way. Because he has the right to reject me, and he has the right to be lovers with someone else. When he returned to me, I supported him and acted politely. I acted as if nothing had happened. I don't know how he interpreted my behavior, but I think I acted warmly and friendly. He was constantly asking me what I was doing during our absence, and since he lived in another country, he indirectly asked to find out if I had plans to travel abroad during this summer vacation.I think he asked this question because of this: when I confessed my feelings to him, I told him that I was planning to go to the country where he lives this summer and that I dreamed of meeting him face to face. I think he's trying to say that when he broke up with the girl he was with (I'm not sure, I didn't ask any questions about it), if I went to his country, he might be available to meet and get acquainted with me right now. He's also having problems with his work life right now, and even if we had a romantic relationship, I know that the job search has affected his psychology quite badly. So actually, he might have done me a favor by rejecting me, because maybe neither of us were ready for this. I don't know if he still thinks I want him romantically. But I have no plans for a romantic relationship with him right now, and I'm not making any effort in that regard. But I'm not trying to get to know anyone else either. I'm just focusing on my career and my education. When he texts me, I respond to him with positive messages to make him feel confident. I'm doing this purely for our friendship with him. But for the last week, whenever I try to continue the conversation, he starts responding late and seems to get distracted at some point. When we are talking about academic subjects or something related to art, he suddenly interrupts the conversation and turns to me two days later and offers reasons such as "I was busy, I'm sorry, I slept a lot last night". He keeps the conversation going and are curious about what I'm doing and how my day is going. But he only shows interest in me when he sends the first message. When I text, I feel like I'm sending a message that will always be seen late. I feel like a slave. But if I were to tell him this way, he would politely tell me that he definitely wasn't aiming for anything like that, and I might come across as a sensitive girl who can't handle rejection. I want to keep my maturity and pride, but I can't understand some of his actions. What do you guys think? What should I do to avoid coming across as rude or insecure in a situation like this? How should my messages look?

I’m 25, I can’t believe I’m actually coming here to make a post like this but I’ve only had one relationship previously which was 6 years long so I haven’t been in a situation like this since I was a teenager.

I met this guy, he is extremely handsome, there is alot of girls who are interested in him. He told me to my face when he was drunk that I am beautiful, I’m the only one who has caught his eye and he asked me to go for a drink. Since I don’t drink alcohol I said no, but then I realised he was actually asking me on a date ( I just didn’t clock that). We then spoke alone when he was sober and he said to me he meant everything he said and remembers everything he said and it was true, that I am beautiful, he is interested in me etc. The thing that puts me off is my guy friend likes him, despite him not being gay and my friend knowing there’s no chance for them I don’t think it’s right to do that to my friend, but I really like him. I told him that it just feels like it’s going off looks and there’s more to me than how I look.

Moreover, a lot of girls like him and some of them don’t like me as he hangs out with me a lot and they like him too. I’m 25, not a bitching school girl fighting over a man. But some of the said girls are young and only just turned 18 so the idea of an older man is probably exciting. A lot of girls go through my friend to see if this guy is attracted to them. His exact words were when he was asked about one girl was “ she isn’t ugly but she isn’t my type it isn’t somebody I would go for, I like natural girls with a bit more curve and weight to them” and stared at me, which he is entitled to his preference. But what he described is how I look, and he told me to my face I am his type to a T. When him and my guy friends have plans he always asks if I am coming too.

I am starting to regret turning him down, I did agree to go for a drink with him but I can’t tell if he’s just playing or not. A short while ago we had a bit of a disagreement infront of friends and he told me to step outside so we could talk, every one was basically looking out the window and gossiping and asking if we were kissing, we really weren’t. He has also said to the mutual friend we have that he respects me for calling him out as he’s never had a girl do that before and they were all baffled as he would usually talk infront of the others but this time he took me away from the situation. He also asked a few times for us to hang out alone. And asked if I had a boyfriend, or he walked me to meet my friend and he asked if they were a girl or boy. He also asked to see a photo of my ex. He also always asks me to sit next to him even if there’s other women there. My friend took me outside to talk one time as it was really warm inside and there was a room full of girls and my guy friend, and he just stayed looking out the window at me whilst they were trying to talk to him.

He’s also started leaving me on read and doesn’t reply that much. But that might just be how he is. But he isnt short of options.

I just don’t know how to go about it, I am quite shy of him as he’s really attractive and it’s been a long time since I’ve felt that way about somebody. I am still in therapy due to some things my ex did to me and I just don’t want to get hurt. I’ve been single about a year and a half too. I think because I have sort of been stand offish since I find him intimidating but also don’t want to upset my guy friend, it’s made me seem not interested and I get nervous incase he is talking to other girls and I make myself look an idiot. I’m considering asking when he said “ would you come for a drink” if he was asking JUST me or if he was asking my friend to. I don’t want to bother him and his text replies are pretty slow too, but I just automatically think he’s talking to other girls as he has so many after him. But my guy friend said he’d told him he has no intentions to sleep around or anything like that, and that he likes me but he isn’t sure if he meant as a friend or more.

I honestly sound like an immature girl but it’s just been so long since I’ve had to date somebody or had feelings, and I’ve never had a situation where somebody had said they liked me whilst sober, all my first kisses have been drunk and people have admitted they liked me when drunk. But relationship wise I’ve had one which lasted 6 years and it just sort of happened. I’d appreciate any advice, I’m not that confident and the fact he told me to my face I just changed the topic as I was too shy and it was just us alone together and I was worried he’d try kiss me or something.

i loved a a woman and without personal details i got to know her through a friend and we were into each other so much the chemistry the cultral difference wasnt that different the mindset ugh, perfect. her boundaries in general were so similar to mine.

and we got to know each other till a month a half we got together and everything was perfect her clingyness her beauty HER NATURAL BEAUTY (no makeup) UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, and genuinely i think i was one of the few men to experience this type of perfectionism and im glad i did, then a time came i cheated on her with a girl while her mom was struggling with big health issues and after that we broke up and she got rumors at school and prank calls for over months about and idk i genuinely regret it and after two weeks we got back tgth ofc we talked about it and i was fully aware of the consequences of lost trust, or not annoyingly checking but being so paranoid, the consequences of maybe not going to crowded places or cafes or being called a liar, i was aware and commited to deal with it cus i really wanted to redeem my mistake or show that i genuinely did a honest mistake and willing to change.

after multiple breakups bc of outside pressure like prank calls and saying i cant be with you and dealing with other women saying you have other girls, for a moment it stopped the rumors the prank calls, i remember i was immature when we broke up and thought it was unfair and sometimes i normally stalk her socials and only once i looked up at one of her friends but i didnt say anything it was on instagram and when the break up happened at the same day i was trying to fish if she is still jealous so at the same time i checked her acc again found a random girl she added read her bio or details and said it to her, at first it was just oh wtv he was fishing but then when everything was going perfect she said to her friends while i was in call that oh (my name) said to me to set him up with him i got mad like why arent you bringing context then it switched saying that how tf did you know details and all that and i was trying to i genuinely wanted to fully catch you off guard to be jealous and im sorry i was immature ultametly we broke up.

i hurt her so much and idk why i genuinely dont know why i dont wanna do that and there is more than what i said that i hurt her and i genuinely dont know i love myself im confident and a good man but i remember she said before we broke up you ruined everything and ruined me when i just wanted to love you

i think one of the reasons is that we started dating it was just too good to be true i couldnt fathom we were really serious and idk how i got trust issues but i do have scarred deep.. deep trust issues and always believed that its not gonna last and idk if thats the reason to cheating but i felt it wasnt real and too good to be true

if you got questions please ask and idk im saying all of this bc i got some friends to talk im just not comfortable enough to talk about it fully and like this is a unfiltered "talking to someone" talk

I accidentally ruined someone’s life over a misunderstanding, and they still don’t know it was me.
This happened about six years ago, and I’ve never told anyone.
Back then I worked at a small office where everyone knew everyone else’s business. One afternoon I overheard part of a conversation between two coworkers. I completely misunderstood what they were talking about, but I convinced myself I had discovered that one of them was secretly stealing from the company.
Instead of asking questions, I anonymously emailed my manager with everything I thought I knew.
Within a week, that coworker was suspended while the company investigated. It turned out they hadn’t stolen anything. The conversation I’d overheard was about moving money between project budgets, something they were authorized to do.
Even though they were eventually cleared, rumors spread. People looked at them differently afterward. A few months later they quit.
I never admitted that I was the anonymous person who started it all.
The worst part is that I wasn’t trying to be malicious. I genuinely thought I was doing the right thing. But I acted on assumptions instead of facts, and someone else paid the price.
Every now and then I look them up online. They seem to be doing well now, which makes me feel a little better, but I still think about how one impulsive decision changed someone else’s career.
I don’t expect forgiveness. I just needed to finally say it somewhere because carrying this around has been heavier than I ever imagined.