I always fail
Im done with myself, I just cant make things right I ruined everything I hope you guys allow me to tell a story before I go
I always felt like whatever I do no matter how hard I try I always end up messing things up no matter what its like im eventually gonna fail at some point
Tbh i dont really know where to start but 3yrs ago I met the most amazing person my girlfriend and everything was perfect despite the long distance we saw each other from time to time and everything was great a few arguments here and there but you know the usual couple stuff, until I did something stupid and you guessed it I cheated im nothing but an ass I cant really understand why i did what i did I guess i felt like at some point i was being used and i did it for months but i did feel guilty and wanted it stop so i did, eventually she found out and im not blaming her but what i did was really stupid and she did try and forgive me and gave me a chance but she couldn't take the trauma and I understand that but I do wish that she saw that Inwas really trying to make things right and right now im still fighting for her to stay but she wants to let go, I guess I cant really blame her I did something unforgivable
I feel like thats been a pattern in my life even at work I left my work that doesnt really pay well but it was easy to a job that very new to me and pays very well but then i didnt get regularized and now I have no job no matter what I do no matter how hard I try eventually I will mess up I just want to disappear I cant live without her snd I ruined everything