u/annaj174

Sincerely wondering what kind of regrets people have at my age as I’m feeling a little alone in mine.

My husband (28) has been wanting to be a dad for a while. I personally wish he would do more to get ready for kids if that’s what he really wants (exercise, eat right and take care of himself like I’ve been doing) I (26) would like to wait a few more years. He just found out that my sister is having a cruise wedding in 2028. We were going to start trying in October 2027 but I would have been very pregnant or about to give birth on the cruise and you cannot be on a cruise ship more than 24 weeks pregnant. I have stated that I would like to wait till fall 2028 to start trying instead of fall 2027. He has been extremely mopey and “bummed” the last two days. I can’t help but think he’s trying to manipulate me to change my mind. He just went to our bedroom to “give himself a minute.” It’s not like I told him we aren’t having kids, I just told him I want to wait a few years because I’m not ready now. To add- he has been getting irrationally upset during arguments and raising his voice which I don’t love, I also want to make sure we can communicate effectively before kids.

I know it can take people longer to get pregnant but if it doesn’t (my family has been very lucky and usually get pregnant on the first try despite all our other medical issues), I want to make it to my sisters wedding. I don’t want to miss it just because I cannot even board the ship. I don’t agree with her cruise wedding but I would like to be there and be supportive like she was with us. Now, if she continues to postpone, we will just have to get pregnant. I have personal health and financial goals I would love to reach prior to starting a family. I have autoimmune diseases and would like to feel healthy prior to having babies.

To summarize/ tl;dr- he wants kids now, and I would like to wait and work on ourselves and us, is this wrong? Any tips on working on our communication?