u/Alarmed_Fig_4991

A couple of weeks ago, I liked my friend (let's call him Andy). We work at the same place, so we saw each other often.

Before this, we often hung out after work together. It wasn't overtly romantic, but some of my friends noticed we were quite close.

And then I had this idiotic idea to confess my feelings. Just so you understand, I wasn't making anything up; even though I like him, I don't fully believe he could feel the same way. And then, I was absolutely sure he felt the same way.

He asked me to go to a bar with him; we were supposed to go with a few other people, but they couldn't.

And then, stupidly, I decided to invite a girl (let's call her Anna), who had started working here a week ago, along with us.

The three of us went (this is starting to sound like a joke).

A couple of hours pass, and we're sitting at the bar. I go to the bathroom, come back five minutes later, and see Anna sitting on his lap, laughing flirtatiously at him.

Basically, I was successfully forgotten by the two of them and felt like dead weight. I drank a few more shots and completely fell into a zombie-like state.

After the bar, when I was already home, a colleague texted me and asked, "What happened there? My friend was at that bar and said Andy dumped you and picked up some whore."

Two days later, Andy told Anna he loved her. By a lucky chance, the three of us were alone on the street again. She turned him down, asking if they could just remain friends.

Did I feel humiliated? Yes. Did it bruise my ego? Yes.

On the other hand, it's good that everything turned out the way it did. But what happened is so sad and stupid at the same time that I don't know whether to laugh or cry over my idiotic behavior.

You can make a joke sometime, I'm really embarrassed.

So what's the problem? I'm angry at both of them. I understand that Anna and I have different worldviews and different senses of personal boundaries, but I still can't help but feel irritated when I see her, especially when Andy starts hanging around her like a dog.

And Andy also pisses me off for falling at her feet when she rubbed her "back" against him.

I'm jealous, and I have every right to be. At least it doesn't hurt anyone else.

I know there won't be anything more between us, but I'm hurt that it turned out this way.

I'm F18. A couple of weeks ago, I liked my friend (let's call him Andy). We work at the same place, so we saw each other often.

Before this, we often hung out after work together. It wasn't overtly romantic, but some of my friends noticed we were quite close.

And then I had this idiotic idea to confess my feelings. Just so you understand, I wasn't making anything up; even though I like him, I don't fully believe he could feel the same way. And then, I was absolutely sure he felt the same way.

He asked me to go to a bar with him; we were supposed to go with a few other people, but they couldn't.

And then, stupidly, I decided to invite a girl (let's call her Anna), who had started working here a week ago, along with us.

The three of us went (this is starting to sound like a joke).

A couple of hours pass, and we're sitting at the bar. I go to the toilet, come back five minutes later, and see Anna sitting on his lap, laughing flirtatiously at him.

Basically, I was successfully forgotten by the two of them and felt like dead weight. I drank a few more shots and completely fell into a zombie-like state.

After the bar, when I was already home, a colleague texted me and asked, "What happened there? My friend was at that bar and said Andy dumped you and picked up another."

The next day Andy suddenly became cold towards me, and all his conversations were about Anna.

Two days later, Andy told Anna he loved her. By a lucky chance, the three of us were alone on the street again. She turned him down, asking if they could just remain friends.

Did I feel humiliated? Yes. Did it bruise my ego? Yes.

On the other hand, it's good that everything turned out the way it did. But what happened is so sad and stupid at the same time that I don't know whether to laugh or cry over my idiotic behavior.

You can make a joke, I'm really embarrassed.

I graduated from high school and passed all my exams a year ago.

In my country, the government provides the opportunity to study at university for free. Some universities allocate a few state-funded places, usually no more than ten, for certain programs. You can apply for these places through a competitive program.

I enrolled last year, and due to martial law, the state-funded places for the program I applied to were completely eliminated. And, frankly, it's very disappointing. I have 280 points overall, which is a competitive result; I could have easily gotten a state-funded place if it had been available.

My mother suggested I take a gap year to understand myself and explore different careers, but like a sheep, I decided I knew better and enrolled right away.

My parents are making many sacrifices to pay for my education. It costs $31,000 over four years, which is a huge amount for my parents.

And you know what? This year, they opened up state-funded places for the first year of my major, but since I'm now a second-year student, I have no option to transfer to a state-funded place. Seriously. This is a complete joke. If I had waited another year, I could have easily gotten a state-funded place.

I deeply regret not listening to my mom back then. The chances that there will be a state-funded place were zero. For the last five years, there haven't been any state-funded places at this university, and this year they decided to add them.

These thoughts drive me crazy every day. I can't escape them, not at work, not with friends, not anywhere.

I work part-time at a cafe and try to buy gifts for my parents to somehow please them, seeing how they limit themselves in so many ways. I feel like I'll never be able to recoup their investment in me.

I know there's nothing I can do to fix this, and I'll have to endure this humiliation and pay for tuition (in our country, it's considered that if you pay for tuition, you're a lazy idiot and from a rich family). Just give me some advice on how I can stop feeling like crap about this.

I graduated from high school and passed all my exams a year ago.

In my country, the government provides the opportunity to study at university for free. Some universities allocate a few state-funded places, usually no more than ten, for certain programs. You can apply for these places through a competitive program.

I enrolled last year, and due to martial law, the state-funded places for the program I applied to were completely eliminated. And, frankly, it's very disappointing. I have 280 points overall, which is a competitive result; I could have easily gotten a state-funded place if it had been available.

My mother suggested I take a gap year to understand myself and explore different careers, but like a sheep, I decided I knew better and enrolled right away.

My parents are making many sacrifices to pay for my education. It costs $31,000 over four years, which is a huge amount for my parents.

And you know what? This year, they opened up state-funded places for the first year of my major, but since I'm now a second-year student, I have no option to transfer to a state-funded place. Seriously. This is a complete joke. If I had waited another year, I could have easily gotten a state-funded place.

I deeply regret not listening to my mom back then. The chances of getting a state-funded place were zero. For the last five years, there haven't been any state-funded places at this university, and this year they decided to add them.

These thoughts drive me crazy every day. I can't escape them, not at work, not with friends, not anywhere.

I work part-time at a cafe and try to buy gifts for my parents to somehow please them, seeing how they limit themselves in so many ways. I feel like I'll never be able to recoup their investment in me.

I'm writing this and crying. I'm so ashamed. My mom doesn't know there are state-funded places this year. I think if I tell her, she'll be very upset. I am really really really regret.

Я устала, что я пытаюсь что-то делать, но ничего не меняется. Слова "я устал" от другого человека я воспринимаю как личное оскорбление.

С 2022 года летом я оставалась абсолютно одна, никто не хотел выходить со мной на улицу. Так я прогнила до 2024 года, пока не появились друзья в школе, но под конец учебного года они подставили меня. Проблеск надежды, что всё хорошо Опять разбился. Опять одинокое лето и гниение в квартире.

Сейчас я учусь в университете, появились новые знакомые, вроде хорошие. Нашла работу, впахиваю и устаю как лошадь, что могу заплакать на ровном месте, зато теперь я не чувствую, что проживаю бесполезную жизнь.

И вот всё снова так. Я снова иду гулять одна. Видеть людей на улице, которые ходят компанией, либо вдвоем очень больно. И сейчас это уже доходит до слёз.

Я не знаю, что со мной, почему я вроде как общаюсь с людьми, есть приятели, но проводить со мной длительное время никто не хочет. Это так обидно.

"Я устал". Я постоянно это слышу. А после этой фразы следует "до пяти часов утра слышал музыку, совершенно нет сил". Пожалуйста, хватит. Вы можете назвать меня бессердечной, забивающей на чужие проблемы, но для меня это слушать уже невозможно. Это не "усталость", это ты специально загоняешь себя ерундой, чтобы потом жаловаться на жизнь. "У меня депрессия", окей, хватит, пожалуйста, ныть про это каждый день, поменяй что-то в своей жизни.

Четыре года назад мне диагностировали депрессию, я гнида в кровати, пила прописанные таблетки конскими дозами, пока наконец не взяла яйца в кулак и не пошла что-то делать, чтобы в край не прогнить. Жизнь действительно изменилась, тот страшный период позади, но сейчас я чувствую, что все снова опять скатывается туда же.

Меня часто называют слишком инфантильной, что я веду себя как ребенок, хотя это плохо сдерживаемая радость, что я могу провести время с людьми и просто поболтать, чувствовать себя нужной. Это очень сильно обижает.

Я из-за всех сил пыталась менять свою жизнь, но она будто делает все возможное, чтобы вернуть меня в это дно, где я была, и я уже не могу сдерживаться. Завтра пойду сидеть на качелях весь день, в свой единственный выходной в чертово лето, на каникулах от учебы, просто буду слушать какую-то хрень в наушниках и снова думать, как сделать опять что-нибудь, чтобы хотя бы чуть-чуть понять, зачем я вообще стараюсь.

Спасибо, если дочитали до конца. Мне некому выговориться из своих знакомых. Не хочу грузить их этим бредом. В последний раз меня назвали нытиком из-за этого.