r/unrequited_love

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Hello everyone.

I am writing this after many shed tears and honestly I am unsure why I am writing this, parts of me wishes that someone anyone might hear what Ive been through and sympathise, part ot me just wants to shout this all out so here it goes.

Around January this year, I, (21 male), and N (20 female) met online, we hit it off instantly and we were hooked on each other, we had nicknames, cute lil gaming sessions where i watched her play every game on the planet, made Miis in Tomodachi Life as me and her, hell i even skipped my finals and got put on probation to play minecraft with her knowing she was in a difficult situation. I do not say this to say my love for N was a favour in any way, rather it is just an example of how our relationship was.

Now, we recently broke up due to some personal conflict among her friends that made her lash out at me, and want to seperate, I do not hate her nor resent her for this choice, however, we remained extremely close friends, and I come to find out shes already romantically invested in another guy, i feel like a total moron, like I was duped and fooled into thinking i actually mattered to this woman, I do not hate nor resent her, it is her life she chooses who to let in and who to push away, yet seeing her fall back on her promises, her having moved on when she once was extremely afraid of my mere contact with someone else ruins me, I feel like I want to just laydown cry and forget existence.

She moved on so quickly and texts that man with vigor and desire almost to a degree beyond she did when we were dating, and the fact she moved on in such little time as 3 days.

He seems like a stand up fellow, and good looking to boot, though he follows multiple women on his account (which, while me and her were together, she was skeptical of my only 2 friends, and almost made me unfollow them), and I just feel like my relationship with her was not nearly as desirable as he is.

Thank you for reading what I had to say, Tschuss

I don’t even know if this counts as a breakup because technically, we were never really together.

For almost 4 years, this man was my best friend. We talked almost every day, shared everything, stayed through difficult moments, and became emotionally attached in a way that honestly blurred every line possible. We called each other “bffs,” but deep down I think both of us knew it stopped being just friendship a long time ago.

The problem was… it never fully became anything either.

There were feelings, affection, emotional intimacy, jealousy, mixed signals, late-night conversations, and moments that felt too deep to just be platonic. We became physically intimate too, which only made the attachment stronger and the boundaries even more confusing. It felt like we were emotionally and physically committed to each other without ever truly defining what we were.

And somehow, that kind of connection can hurt more because you keep holding onto the possibility that maybe one day it’ll finally become real.

But there was also inconsistency, uncertainty, and this constant feeling that we were stuck in between friendship and something more.

Recently, we finally had closure. He admitted things honestly, and for the first time I realized that continuing this connection was hurting me more than helping me.

The painful part is that he wanted to stay in my life. He wanted us to remain close. But I realized I couldn’t do it anymore because I loved him too much to peacefully watch him eventually love or choose someone else.

I couldn’t keep pretending I was okay with “just friendship” when my feelings clearly went beyond that. I think staying would’ve slowly destroyed me emotionally.

So I left.

And now I feel like I lost both a potential lover and my best friend at the same time.

That’s the part nobody talks about enough. Sometimes the grief isn’t just romantic heartbreak, it’s mourning the person who used to feel like home to you.

Part of me wishes we never crossed the line emotionally and physically because maybe we could’ve preserved the friendship. But another part of me knows that after years of unresolved feelings, intimacy, and emotional dependency, there was no real way to go back to being “just friends.”

I know leaving was the right decision for my peace, but it still hurts so much.

Has anyone else gone through this? Losing your best friend because the relationship became too emotionally complicated to survive?

I've been in love with a childhood friend of mine for 13 years of my life I've loved her before I ever knew what love was really, being the fool that I was, I was afraid of rejection. I never told her how I felt for a very long time we were best of friends always hanging out she was always there for me and I was always there for her at least I tried to be even when she had bad boyfriends I have fought a few of them and won. we used to go ice skating every single Friday together. After a while I stop talking to her for about 6 years to get my shit together because I couldn't handle watching her date other guys and I don't know trying to tell her felt like trying to grab at the Moon in the reflection on a lake. I tried moving on in those six years I had relationships where they didn't work out for a variety of reasons alcoholism (not on my side I have a drink since high school), cheating (I have never cheated on anyone, I know from experience that it hurts) etc. about 2 months ago I was feeling good I don't know 💀🤣 I decided to hit her up to see how she was doing and we started talking and things were going great she told me that she's actually been in a shitty relationship for the last 2 years that she's about to break up with we were being flirty we went to the beach together I decided to be bolder than I had ever been and I held her while we were in the water together we held hands while we were on the beach towels, I kissed her hand while we were there holding hands. I told her that I've been waiting for this for a very long time. Next date, I worked up the courage to finally tell her and I wrote her a letter and everything explaining how I felt all these years but before I could even drive to the date she texted me that she's sorry for leading me on and that she had just broken up with this guy and that she isn't really looking to be in a relationship because she's been in and out of relationships non-stop ever since we last saw each other, that stung but I told her that I still felt like we could be something and I gave her the letter and she told me after she read it over text that if something happens between us something happens. We kept being flirty for the next few days it was great it didn't feel off at all. Randomly one day she text me that she wants to come over at like 12:00 at night and obviously I'm excited and I say yes, 5 minutes later she tells me that her sister's cat broke its leg and that they need to go to the vet so she can't come. Me obviously disappointed say that it's it's fine the cat is way more important than us hanging out I get that, next morning I'm blocked on everything including mutual friends 😭. At least I told her I put all my cards on the table. Everyone around me says that I have to move on and I know I do I get it guys but it's really not that easy. I've gone through all the stages of grief several times already, I catch myself having PTSD like flashbacks wondering what I did wrong or just having rationalizations of what could have happened on her end but none of it matters because at the end of the day she just doesn't want me and that's is what it is I have to accept it. I had built up this whole Disney movie like fantasy where we would grow up together and fall in love eventually and live together. Silly me, I'm honestly just morning that lost reality. I don't have any other childhood friends that I've crushed on like that so that dream will never come to pass. I just needed to get this off my chest although I've spoken to everyone I know I've written a lot of poetry about it I've spoken to every AI bot out there, it still feels like it has to come off my chest.

18F i've been friends with a guy for about 7 yrs. I have had a crush on him for the past 2 yrs & idk he may like me back but im too chicken to ask him

And now I think I may have a problem.
I met someone.
We went dancing.
He’s younger (3 years only).
It was supposed to be nothing just music, fun, and a good night.

But now I’m catching myself thinking about him, replaying little moments, and wondering if this is excitement… or me forgetting everything Reddit taught me about staying grounded while waiting for the right kind of love.

Maybe the real problem isn’t that he’s younger.

Maybe it’s that I can’t tell if this is genuine connection… or just the thrill of feeling seen again.

Just ended something with someone who seemed really into me at first but then pulled away and got distant. I realized we just weren’t aligned on what we were looking for and signals just got crossed. But I just feel so sad and rejected from the situation. Can’t help but feel like I just wasn’t enough for him and it’s hard to know that things weren’t reciprocated. Does rejection like this ever get easier?

Pata hai aaj kya hua I need genuine outside perspective on a situation because I feel conflicted and I don’t know if I’m thinking emotionally or logically anymore.

So there’s this guy.Technically, we were never in a relationship. Even “situationship” feels too strong sometimes because we didn’t talk every day or behave like an actual couple. But it also definitely wasn’t just a normal friendship. There was emotional closeness, mutual liking, emotional attachment, and this underlying thing between us for a long time.

I had liked him since I was much younger , we were in same school so I think I emotionally continued the connection longer and deeper than I probably would have otherwise.

For a long time, ours was mostly kind of long-distance because we were in different places living our own lives. We would talk on and off, reconnect emotionally, drift, reconnect again. There was always this emotional tension underneath, even though it wasn’t a full committed relationship.

Eventually, he told me that I was getting emotionally attached and that continuing things would only worsen everything later,so he ended it before it became something bigger. He did offer friendship, but at that time I declined because it felt too difficult emotionally and said would never meet again.

After that, life moved on, but recently we both ended up back in our hometown again. Slowly we started talking a little again. Then eventually we met once in person too. He apologised to me for past events. Asked if we were cool ab.

Now the issue is this:

I don’t necessarily want some intense relationship with him right now ( also I know the fact he won’t give me that)I don’t even want to meet him constantly or talk daily. What I want is more like occasional normal hangouts — the kind you do with friends when you’re in the same city. Especially because honestly, I don’t have many friends in my hometown right now.

But at the same time, I’m preparing for a major exam that’s in around 3.5 months, and I know involving him emotionally again could become distracting very fast. Because the hot-and-cold dynamic has always existed from his side. He comes close, then becomes distant, then reconnects again. So even asking him to hang out feels emotionally risky to me because I’m scared of getting pulled back into that emotional loop again.

And logically, I know this may not be the best time to complicate my emotional life.

But emotionally, another thought keeps bothering me:
“What if later I regret not spending time with him while we were actually in the same place?”

Because realistically, we may not stay in the same hometown forever again after this phase of life.

So now I’m stuck between:
- protecting my peace/focus/exam preparation,
OR
- allowing a limited connection and making memories while we actually can because honestly speaking I would if I didn’t have this exam which needs my focus right now.

My question is:
Would it be emotionally unwise to ask him to hang out casually once in a while, given the history and the hot-and-cold dynamic? Or is avoiding it completely just fear and overthinking?

I just want to vent. Was I really stupid to give all of me only to you the other person isn’t willing to have me like I wanted them. When I want marriage, the other person just wanted a friendship. And so I write.

To whomsoever it may concern,
Who was I to you?
Just a random person you met in life
Or someone whom you wanted to tear apart like there was nothing at all
Or someone to use at their convenience
I really don’t understand
You care but do you really care?
Why is it that you reach out to me many times
But then you never want me
You can think about committing with someone else but not me
You were okay to go with the flow
Without realizing you were just going with your flow not mine
Until one day I get kicked out
Kicked out of the door where I already built my home
And now I just don’t know where to go
So all I do is cry until my eyes run dry
Lay down until my mind gives up
Get up only to realize you are gone
And this way, I might not be a spouse but a writer to write a real feelings

But above all I don’t get it how I was and am the person you share your stuff the most.

Sometimes I wonder
Sometimes I just write

#reality (no hidden stuff)
Writer on instagram. Dm to know the username if interested.

I genuinely feel like I’m losing my mind over this girl and I don’t know what to do anymore.

We’ve known each other for years, but this year we got really close. We started spending a lot of time together, talking constantly, and somehow she became one of the most important people in my life without me even realizing it was happening.

She’s the only person I’ve ever told my deepest secret to. Like genuinely the only one. Being around her made life feel lighter. Some of my favorite memories from this past year involve her, and I honestly think she changed me as a person.

The problem is that she likes this other guy who is basically the complete opposite of me in every way. He’s very much her physical type, and I’m not. That alone already gets in my head more than I’d like to admit.

What frustrates me so much is that she KNOWS he’s bad news. People have literally told her he only wants her for sex. Another girl posted a picture kissing him while all of this was going on. She admits there are red flags and still can’t seem to let him go.

And because we’re so close, we talk about him and the situation all the time. Sometimes I get so frustrated that I basically tell her exactly how I feel about him and everything going on, and I worry it creates weird tension between us because I care too much. I try not to sound jealous, but honestly I am jealous. I think hearing about him over and over while liking her this much is slowly destroying me mentally.

The worst part is that I’ve never been so sure about somebody in my life. Two of our friends have directly said they think I like her, including in front of both of us, and every single time I denied it and walked away because I physically cannot bring myself to tell her the truth.

I wrote her a really emotional graduation letter recently and after rereading it I realized it probably sounded romantic even though I didn’t consciously mean for it to. But if I’m being honest with myself, I think I love her. Like genuinely.

I know nobody owes me feelings back just because I care deeply about them. I know that. I don’t think she’s a bad person for liking somebody else. I’m just exhausted from constantly comparing myself to the person she actually wants and feeling like I’ll never measure up.

Has anybody else ever dealt with this kind of thing? Because I honestly feel heartbroken and pathetic at the same time.

Basically back in January(around the 20th) I realized I liked my friend(I’m gonna call her Alana but that’s not her real name) and I think the feelings grew slowly because I didn’t realize I had romantic feelings for Alana till one day she told me she loved me(except she meant it in a friend way) and I questioned myself cause I thought I was straight. For a while I was like “do I really like Alana?”And then I ended up confessing my feelings to her. Alana told me she didn’t like me that way but she remembers at the beginning of school year she liked me romantically but I got with my boyfriend(who’s now my ex boyfriend)and she thought I was straight, so she didn’t want to suffer heartbreak so she suppressed her feelings. I was sad but I accepted it and I moved on. Or atleast I tried to move on BUT I COULDN’T. I was still in-love with her and I still am. Me and her friendship didn’t become complicated and actually became better because we got closer. And she now she calls me her sister and stuff so I lowkey faced the facts that Alana doesn’t like me cause that’s the ULTIMATE friend zone right?

But yesterday (May 15th, 2026 this is important because it’s 5 months later after I confessed my feelings to her)
It was job shadowing day and I didn’t go job shadowing cause I didn’t feel like it so I went to school and only like 10% of the grade was their. My friend Emmy was their too(not her real name) and basically a guy wanted to ask me to the dance(cause we had the dance that same day) and Emmy helped him ask me out(I said no) But after rejecting him I went up to her and she was outside the classroom she was by herself. I went to ask her why she would do that and stuff and we js had a short conversation abt it. But I told her I had something to tell her and she said “I think I know what it is” and I ask Emmy “what do u think I’m gonna say?” And she says “that ure bi or sm” and I was surprised cause it was something related to that. But anyway I told her I was inlove with Alana. Emmy said “I know” and I was like “whaa?”. But I asked her “did Alana tell u?” And she replied with a “yes”

But basically Emmy said that 2 or 3 months ago Alana told her that she was inlove with me, but she was scared cause I confessed my feelings to her and she thought I moved on(EXCEPT I DIDNT) when Emmy told me this I WAS SO MAD AT MYSELF CAUSE I MISSED MY CHANCE and during the time I was thinking that maybe js maybe she did like me, but then I brushed off cause I was like “nah she rejected me”

Emmy told me that at the dance she would ask Alana if she still liked me, but I told Emmy no cause Alana was gonna say no, but Emmy told me “you don’t know that” and I js told her “okay ask her, just know she’s most likely gonna say no”
So basically at the dance Emmy asked her if she still liked me romantically and Alana said no.
And I didn’t care cause I knew she was gonna say no.

But toward the end of the dance me and Alana went to the bathroom and we were there for like 20 minutes and it was js us too. We were talking normally and we each confessed personal stuff from home and she started crying and I kissed her on the forehead and idk why but I had the urge to confess to her that I was still Inlove with her, but I didn’t do it cause I thought, “I already know she doesn’t like me romantically so what would benefit from me telling her If already know she doesn’t like me” and I didn’t end up telling her I almost did though. Cause I said “Alana I have tell u something” “yeah?” “Never mind” “is it bad?” “No it’s nothing” but then today in the shower I was thinking about it and I wish I did tell her cause I’ve told her once before and our friendship stayed strong, so it would be okay to tell her a second time right?. But I love her so so much.

The WHOLE situation is complicated though is because she’s Christian but she’s attracted to girls and she thinks she’s not suppose to be cause she told me herself, “I’m attracted to girls but my trauma makes me scared to date them” and Alana trauma is personal, so I’m not gonna say it. But this one time one of our friends asked her “what do u think abt homosexuality as a Christian?” And I dont remember exactly what she said but It was something like, “God made man and women to be together, so they could have kids together and women and women can’t have kids neither can man and man” and that made me feel guilty for being inlove with her. She’s also the one who brought me closer to god and I’m so grateful I look up to her and I always will.

I don’t know what to do should I confess or leave it as it is? I remember I told me friend K abt the situation the first time when I first confessed me feelings to Alana and she said “Alana said she suppressed her feelings which means she pushed them down, so her feelings could always resurface” and I thought “maybe” BUTTT according to Emmy they did resurface at some point but she thought I moved on, so if confessed again would they resurface again?

Also me and Alana are SUPER flirty that everyone thought we were either dating or we liked each other(kinda the same thing) but I remember so many people asked me if me and Alana were together 😭. Even Emmy’s boyfriend asked Emmy that if we were both gay and dating.

But what should I do should I risk the friendship again?? Cause I love her so much she makes me so happy. And I always what to take care of her. I love her weirdness and how she’s herself. She defends herself and her friends. She’s funny and makes everyone laugh. She loves her family even though she says they’re too much sometimes(especially her mom) she’s so supportive and it sweet. A compliment from her means the world. I love her so much and IDKKKK I want her to be mine. I wanna hug her and kiss her, take care of her forever and give her the love that she deserves.

The thing is I fell inlove with her without realizing it cause she was my friend at first. I mean I dated a whole guy while we were friends, so my feelings for her came out of nowhere. My love for her js slowly grew ♥️.
AND NOW I FEEL LIKE I CANT MOVE ON.
And this is corny to say but I’m scared I’m gonna be in-love with her forever.

What should I do?? Advice??

I confessed how I feel, she said she doesn't feel like that and won't ever feel like that but the feelings still remain, I fell too hard for the girl that won't feel the same and now I'm lost. I don't know what to do except wallow in my self pity with my only comfort in music.

Were best friends. Used to talk everyday for 10 months.. I mean.. we had a total of 100k messages sent to each other not including voice calls of hours on hours and talking with each other for 9 hours multiple times.. honestly never loved someone like this ever.
I’ve confessed, it was one sided since I’m an Arab and she’s a Jew. Couples like this get hated a lot in Israel,even though i serve the country and me and her share the same values it’s just not a thing that people like in public..

She came few weeks later crying telling me she missed me.. in these same weeks I’ve tried to convince myself she doesn’t care about me or etc..

For a period of a month and a half we would meet at weekends drunk.. and would talk and be touchy with each other for hours and hours. I’ve noticed in a war or another she’s ashamed of me, not ashamed in public when people see me with her and when she’s all over me, she’s ashamed of my name.
We cried over each other a lot. I miss her..

I thought I could get over her by having a 1 time thing if that’s just another regular crush.. but oh boy I was wrong

With that next 1 time thing I almost called her by the first girl’s name.. not very fun encounter to have..

I couldn’t get myself to even kiss her, she’s not ugly, I was just disgusted and really just wished that it was the first girl.. things did go far but the next week after this encounter I found myself each night staring at pictures of me and the first girl.

I don’t want to convert just for a girl.. I mean.. I get it you’re not ashamed of me but you’re ashamed of this package that is me..

It’s not that I’m even ugly or a boring guy..
All of my friends told me that they don’t see why I’m stuck on this girl and that I could pull any day a girl that is much more interesting and pretty.. but honestly no I don’t want anything better I want her..
It’s been a month since last contact..
I just wish life could’ve been easier on me..

I honestly wish that it was for my looks or my personality and not rather for my name and background.. at least then I wouldn’t have to cry it out and just hoping that I have nothing I can do about it

Okay, this is so annoying and so complicated.

I am in an open relationship that I've been in for 8 years with my partner (32M.) We've been open all along, but with the understanding that it was purely physical with the other person. And that's never been an issue.

Until I met John (fake name, obviously.) There was immediately this spark that I've rarely felt with anyone else, but it seemed to be just physical at first. Like, crazy physical chemistry.

I saw him multiple times, and I started to feel more than I should, he communicated that he felt that same. We drunkenly confessed to being in love with each other.

So I broke it off with John because I value my partner very deeply. We had a final sort of goodbye, and I stopped speaking to him.

The issue comes in with his reaction to us ending things. I know it shouldn't matter, and I know I shouldn't be feeling this, but it was like he just didn't care. I've reached out once or twice since things ended, in moments of weakness, and he basically expressed that he isn't really sad about us ending because "he's experienced a lot of loss." I think he's full of shit and he likes to play with people's feelings, but like a dumbass, I fell right into it.

And I feel so stupid because I have such a wonderful partner, and this John clearly has the emotional range of a teaspoon, but my heart is broken over losing him.

I feel different around my partner now (he knows everything and has forgiven me, because he's a fucking saint.) I don't know how to move forward or what to do.

I think about John all the time, part of me wants to just throw away the life I've built and just be with him. But I know that won't work and it can't happen and I hate that I have these feelings.

How do I move forward? How do I let this go?

We’ve known each other for quite some time already. I’ve been working for his company for 5 years, and we became really close around 2–3 years ago. At first, he would randomly message me, but it was always work-related. Eventually, the conversations turned into banter, and I started getting comfortable with him. He became comfortable with me too, to the point where we would talk from the moment we woke up until we fell asleep.

The complicated part is that I have a significant other, and he is married. Because of that, I tried to brush things off and convince myself that maybe he’s just naturally caring and like this with people he’s close to.

But something shifted once we got really close.

First, the way he cares for me feels different. At first, I thought maybe he was just being a good boss, but it started to feel more personal and special when it came to me. He always makes sure I’m okay and hates seeing me cry. Sometimes, he would even give me staycations in expensive hotels, pay for therapy, or bring me to nice places just so I could feel better.

Second, whenever I ask for something, he almost always gives it to me.

Third, whenever we have misunderstandings, he finds ways to make up for it. Sometimes he lets me order whatever food I want, and other times he secretly asks someone in the office to order food he knows I like. That’s usually his way of saying sorry.

He also does things for me that he doesn’t really have to do, and honestly, that’s what confuses me the most. I never forced any of it. Sometimes, I even feel like I’m acting like his wife whenever his actual wife isn’t around.

What makes everything harder is that he keeps telling me that he truly loves his wife and that he’s happily married, yet he continues doing things that feel emotionally intimate — things I feel should only be done within a relationship or marriage. It’s confusing.

Now, I don’t know if they’re having problems because recently he started avoiding me. And honestly, I miss him. I miss talking to him.

I really don’t know what to feel anymore, and I need help understanding this situation.

I've tried everything - dating other guys, keeping him out of my life, removing from social media

I can't, I still see myself through his eyes. Being his woman has been my only wish for a year now.

It sounds silly when people ask me why I have been single for a year now. I say I'm just not ready for a relationship. But the truth is... I'm waiting. Waiting for him to want me back.

It sounds even sillier when I truly put words to what I feel: being with other men feels like treason to the feelings I have for him.

Nothing else feels valuable

I feel as though I’ve been so unlucky in love. No man has ever truly loved me, and I don't feel loved by my family either. My father has been incredibly abusive toward me since I was a little girl. People often tell me I’m the most beautiful girl they’ve ever seen, but I can’t see it myself; I’ve developed so many insecurities. I don’t know what love tastes like, or what it feels like to be truly cherished. I have only ever been lusted after, never loved.

​I’ve been stuck in a loop of unrequited love since I was sixteen, and I’m now twenty-three. Every time I fall for someone, it ends up being one-sided. So far, there have been three men. The first is a blur now; I barely remember him. The second was my best friend, who suddenly stopped talking to me, and it took me two years to move on.

​This third person holds a special place in my heart. We never met in person, but we were in a situationship. I thought he loved me—the potential was there—but it turns out he didn't. Or, if he did, it was so confusing that I eventually had to remove myself from his life. It’s been seven months, and I’m still struggling to move on, no matter how hard I try.

​The fact that he’s a stranger now hurts more than I can explain. It’s so difficult to accept that he’s gone. I’ve developed major trust issues, and I don't think I’ll ever fall in love again. I feel hopeless. Part of me doesn't want him back, but my heart still does. I’m just so overwhelmed right now.

​Sometimes I wonder what I could have possibly done to deserve this pain, because I have never intentionally hurt anyone. I know I am a kind person, and I would never do anything to wound someone else's feelings. I am deeply sensitive, which is why this pain feels so unbearable. It hurts so much.

I'm in love with my best friend. I don't know what to do. I've tried dating other people and ignoring my feelings, but whenever I think of my soulmate or raising kids with someone, she is the first person to come to mind. She is the only one I want, and it's impossible to be mad at her. She can do something that makes me upset, but the second I see her face, all that anger fades away and my heart melts. But here's the problem. I'm bi and she is straight. She has never once given me the idea that she's into me romantically or would like to try dating another girl. So out of respect for her and fear of losing her, I've never made a move on her or told her how I feel. So my question is, how do I stop loving my best friend? I don't want to do something wrong and risk losing her.

So, I (M20) have a crush on a girl (F22). We both play at the same sports club so we see each other a fair bit, and when we do, we always really get on and have a great conversation, just generally a really good time with each other. When a large group from the club went out the other night, we were even dancing together for most of the night, and I even gave her a lift home after. I can't help but feel there's some kind of connection between us. But she has a boyfriend, they've been together for 3 years, they're buying a house together, it's obviously a very serious and committed relationship, and there's no way I can be with her because of it.

But I just can't get over her. She is genuinely everything I could ever want, she's incredible, so it hurts so much that I'll never get to have that with her. And the weirdest thing is, I know this, I guess I've even accepted it, but I just can't get past it. I can't fall for anyone else because she's the only one I think about.

I can't stop seeing her because we go to the same sports club so that's not really an option. But I need some way to get over this, every time I see her it hurts and I can't go on like that.

TLDR: my dream girl has a boyfriend, but I just can't get her out of my head.

Hey!
There’s something important I need to say before this story starts - I’ve had a boyfriend for almost three years now. And maybe that’s exactly why all of this makes me feel so guilty. But I needed to get it out somehow.
Back in seventh grade, there was this boy. And to me, he always felt different from everyone else. He was kind, intelligent, respectful - just genuinely good in a way that’s hard to explain. I liked him back then. We used to tease each other all the time, but honestly, I think what I felt was just some strange little seventh-grade crush that I never fully understood at the time.
The thing is… I’ve known him for as long as I can remember. We grew up in the same apartment building - we still live there, actually. We used to play together around the block, argue in the elevator over who pressed the button first and which floor we’d stop at before ours. Stupid little childhood moments that somehow stayed with me.
But I realized I liked him way too late. Right when our paths split. He went to a different school, I went mine, and life just moved on.
It’s been five years now since we’ve really had anything to do with each other. We grew into completely different people, living completely different lives. The only thing we still share is the same building and the occasional elevator ride. We say “hi,” maybe exchange a small smile, and that’s it.
And maybe that’s part of why this feels so strange to me now. Because I don’t even really know him anymore.
He’s not very active on social media, so I don’t see him often. But whenever I do catch a glimpse of him from afar, I notice how much he’s changed. How much more mature he looks now. More masculine. Even his voice sounds different when I hear it. He grew into someone genuinely handsome. And sometimes that realization catches me off guard.
The weirdest part is that I have no idea who he really is anymore. I don’t know what his personality is like now, whether he’s still the same kind, gentle boy I used to know, or if he became someone completely different. Yet somehow, a part of me still feels connected to the memory of him.
I think he has a girlfriend too. And again - I have a boyfriend. A good one.
So why do I still think about him sometimes?
What makes it worse is that I’ve been dreaming about him lately. Three nights in a row now. And the dreams aren’t even dramatic - they just feel… safe. Familiar.
In one of them, I was really hurt by something, emotionally destroyed, and somehow I reached out to him. He came to me, hugged me, sat with me, calmed me down. We just stayed there talking, holding each other. It felt romantic, yes, but more than that, it felt comforting. Like home in some weird emotional way.
And ever since, I can’t stop asking myself “what if?”
What if things had happened differently? What if seventh grade wasn’t just one-sided? What if timing had been different?
And I hate that I even think like this, because it makes me feel disloyal. Guilty. Like I’m betraying something real for something that never even happened.
But at the same time, I think maybe these thoughts stayed somewhere deep inside me all these years. Maybe that’s why he suddenly appears in my dreams now. Because during the day, even if I don’t admit it often, I still remember him sometimes. Randomly. Quietly.
The strangest part is that I honestly don’t even think we could’ve ever truly been together. There’s another reason - something neither of us could change - that probably would’ve stopped us anyway, even if we had liked each other back then.
So now I’m just left with memories, dreams, and questions that don’t really have answers.
And maybe that’s the hardest part.
Because what am I even supposed to do with all of this now?