u/ArtisticKay_Marie

I’m currently an online student at GCU, we’ll I’m inactive right now because it’s been more than two weeks since I took class. I’m supposed to start back up my second year next month. I failed MAT 151 twice with a D. My student services counselor told me if I want to switch, the cheapest option would be at a community college. I don’t see a point because I graduated from community college two years ago. I’m not planning to move on campus because that’s too expensive. I emailed her but I’m waiting to hear back.

Like say you’ve been crushing or in love with this guy/girl for months or YEARS. Or when they rejected you so many times and dated other people.

Like when I post my feelings or whatever I get called out or criticized. I know what you’re thinking, “Well you chose to post so it’s on you.” Yes but I have as much right to express how I feel.
I was posting about how I felt about an actresses death and someone said, “Can we stop with the feed already?! This is the third post.” How the hell was I supposed to know someone else posted. It’s not my job to check.

Like what’s the maximum?

Yesterday, my new coworkers ask me what time I got to bed. how tall will I try to go at least nine or 9:30 but I ended up going to bed at 10pm. I was saying I don’t like going to bed early. One of my coworkers said how come? I said because I’m not really a morning person. Open saying I don’t like getting up in the morning they got all confused like I was tired and had a long overwhelming day so I wasn’t thinking straight. There’s something about getting up earlier like 7 AM I was like I don’t like going to get really bad at the same time. I don’t like getting up in the morning. I don’t know if that makes any sense to you guys. we all ended up laughing because I don’t know and I was like I look I’m tired okay?” They we’re confused on what I said.
Another coworker said, “Then you have a problem.” And they laugh. I sarcasticlly said, “Yeah I do apparently.” That’s what I get for opening my mouth.

Like when you’re having a meltdown or whatever, you’ve been called a brat, crybaby or too sensitive. I’ve been told to suck it up and when I get upset, they’ll ask but when I say it (usually a little thing) they dismiss it like suck it up. I know there are times that we DO need to suck it up and deal with adult life.
Like when I did an internship at a school I was telling my dad that I’m just tired he was like, “So? It’s work. EVERYONE gets tired and you’re GOING to be tired.” I know he meant well. I don’t know if it’s because I’m autistic or the things I do or the faces I make throws off people I avoid or ignore people that stare at me.
Just not my feelings weren’t always dismissed but I don’t know. Why did I have to be autistic? I know it’s just an autism thing, non autistic people deal with this too.

If someone asks me for an honest answer they better be ready to hear it. Not I am not saying to be rude or be an asshole, but hints are pointless.
I prefer people to be direct with me than tip toe what they say.
Also some people should not get angry when they ask for honesty if they don’t want the answer.

I met a few people last year but I want to put myself out there. I am currently an online student and I live off campus. Next month I’m going in my second year. I love visiting the campus and I do work full time. Do y’all have any suggestions.

So I’ve been an online student at GCU for a year and I was thinking about being an on campus student. The thing I need to work on is my financial aid and funds situation first. They have more tutoring options for in person students in tutoring. I failed MAT-151 twice with a D and I really need to get it together.

I definitely like the first one. I’ve seen parts of the second movie and the third one, I barely saw. I couldn’t get into the second and third one. I just have to give them a chance and sit though the whole movies. Honestly I don’t really have an opinion. The second one I should sit through and watch it, and it does look interesting when I watched parts of it.

I started a new job at a different autism school and first week, we had training and it was LONG but was needed. Helped teacher and two other paras setting up classrooms and Wednesday was the students first day of school. I’m not gonna lie. I was nervous because one I’m around in a new environment and two I don’t know the kids that well. The first day was overwhelming but it went pretty good and the second day was good to phone. I was just getting to know the kids and it’s overwhelming. We do have to clock in and out if we want a lunch break.
I’m excited for the new school year and hoping it goes well and get treated how I should be treated.
I’ve been working as a para/teacher assistant for a several years so it’s not new to me. We work from 7:30-4pm Monday though Thursday and 8-12pm on Fridays. Teachers have to be there Fridays but paras are optional which is nice but I will probably go in for the extra hours.

I’m asking this for a friend. So my friend had many failed relationships. She’s been cheated on, abused and used. I’m gonna be blunt. Her taste and men are horrible. She always chases after the wrong guys and ignore the ones that are good. She cries and complains that there’s no good men around but every time a good man that shows interest she’s not interested at all. I mean, of course you can’t force anybody to date someone you don’t want or have no interest. She has his friend who is a guy that she’s known since middle school and most people knew about his massive crush on her even when I met him I can right away that he has the hots for her. She told me that you guys would never give her the time of day and one of the popular and cute handsome guys asked her out to prom as a joke. She said that she would never find love because she was overweight and very tall. I told her there’s one guy that’s willing to give you a chance and the man you’ve been looking for a husband right in front of you all these years. She said that that’s just her friend and she said she needs to hurry up and find a boyfriend before he tries to ask her out again. I told her why does she need to hurry up and she can’t just randomly find a man and forced him to be with her. I told her if she’s not her just tell straight up the truth. Love has to come natural, not out of force I told her. she told me she’s 38 still single and she hasn’t did it since she was 26 and she needs to hurry up and find a man. What would you do if you had a friend like that in that situation?

This was in the mid 2000s. The first time I went with a guy friend of mine (he asked me two more times later on). It was fine. We still had a good time, but there is no sparks. We just went as friends? For the second time I really want to ask my crush I like for a while in my teacher said I better ask you before somebody else does. My guy friend asked for the second time and I rejected him. He was disappointed, but he excepted it. I ask my crush to go to the prom with me, and he said yes. I was over the moon. I was super excited! I was 16 and he was also 16. That was the first time I had a guy that I liked except it going with me! I wore my mom’s till bridesmaid dress, which was really running on sexy in me. Not trying to sound cocky. I mean any girl wants to look good for her crush, right? So he ended up meeting me over there which was fine. We got together, but the thing is after we got done dancing, he would leave to go talk to his friends. I thought okay he wants to talk to his friends. That’s cool and I did the same thing. He spent most of the night talking to his friends and I would sit next to him. I would ask you wanna dance with me and he did, but he kept leaving me to go with his friends. Honestly, that hurt me. It wasn’t really what I expected. I understand we were not dating, but who leave their prom date hanging like that. I mean yeah we’re there to socialize with our friends. My guy friend never did that when I went with him. I don’t understand. Why is that someone that you like or a dream to be with doesn’t turn out to be how are you hope to be, but the person that you just see a friend treats, you better? I guess I learned my type is not always the right one.
I mean sure I wasn’t the hottest girl or thin or fit like others. Plus, I’m tall stop being a chubby, tall, teenager was a nightmare. Why couldn’t I have been slim? Cute guys would never even looked twice at me..

I got over it years ago, but I don’t think I did. I mean he’s good looking (also kind, friendly and funny) so of course his woman is gorgeous so it makes sense. I crushed on him for two years (2007-2009) until I found out he has a girlfriend. That broke my heart. I don’t know if it’s the same girl but whatever. Who the hell was I kidding?! My teen, chubby, tall, plus size fat, autistic self wouldn’t have a chance with him. Come on now! What was I thinking?
I’m not asking for sympathy, I’m just spilling out my feelings.
I’ve only had one boyfriend in my life (also neurodivergent) but it didn’t last and he was a jerk to me. Parts of it was my own fault too. I’m met other guys after that, but it never worked out and I took myself out of dating. I don’t know if I want to date ever again.

My dad or family saying “See how smart she is?” Or “Is that her talking?” It makes me feel stupid. They never did that with my brother or my typical cousins. Why do they do this to people like us?
I doesn’t make me feel good, it makes me feel horrible inside and so stupid. I know they meant well and don’t want people thinking less of me but what they are doing I think it’s making me feel less then they are. Some people would look at me like I have no idea what I am talking about or shock about the way I talk or give good advice? What autistic or other neurodivergent people can’t give good adult? As an adult I thought it would get better but it STILL happens once in a while! I hate being fucking autistic!

Like we’re not typical and we struggle in the typical world. It sucks being abnormal. I grew up in a neurotypical house hold and I felt like I was typical but I knew what felt different from my parents and brother.
I hate being called “special” and hate being treated differently and people saying “See how smart she is?” Or “Is that her talking. It makes me feel stupid. They never did that with my brother or my typical cousins. Why do they do this to people like us?

So at my university, I took the math class twice MAT151 specifically and I worked so hard but unfortunately I failed again with a D. My advisor told me since I failed math twice I have to pay out of pocket but it would be about $1800, $600 for the three monthly payment plan. Other options are to take out a loan or push my classes back six months until I get financial aid again. I do NOT wanna wait six months because my graduation date will be pushed further and it’s going to take me longer to get to my bachelor’s degree. I just started a new job and I don’t get paid until next week. I told my advisor I still need more time to think about it and she said she understood and we will talk when she comes back. I know there’s the Sophia learning option but she said the payment still applies. I don’t know what to do.

I retook math MAT 151 this past summer and I was sure I will pass. I did tutoring, looked up recourses, used it, looked at videos and I STILL FAILED!!! I don’t understand what I am doing wrong!!!!! Now I have to pay out of pocket to take it for the third time and I don’t wanna do that! Geometry UGH!!! My Student services councilor sent me recourses and she knows my grade was low. I ended up getting a D AGAIN!
I’m going to take a break from math because I can’t keep pushing my classes back because then I’ll be graduating later. I took the practice test 8 times and got a 84% and did the exam three times (74%). I know the first test I failed and my grade dropped to an F. I feel like I will NEVER get my bachelors degree! My dream is over! I know I will need to retake it again but I will have to pay out of pocket like I said. I was hoping I would but it looks like I’ll have too!

My best friend said back in February that when a guy gives a lady a Valentines Day card he likes me or In love. A card isn’t enough to tell me a man likes me. My best friend says he obviously likes me and he made sure you get it. He asks me, “How many guys you know in your life that’s done that for you?” My ex boyfriend game me a large teddy bear once. Of course gifts aren’t important. She said yeah but he was a jerk to you.

We are just friends. She said, “Are you suuuure? I’ve seen the way he looks at you. Even my mom, his mom and some people can tell by the way he looks at me. He ALWAYS tries to sit next to me, he things im the most beautiful girl he’s laid his eyes on. He LOVES you and looks up to you. You mean the world to him and you need to hear that. Stop brushing it off every time we mention him. I’m surprised he hasn’t asked you out. He may not be your type (lean or slim) but he’s better than your ex boyfriend but he doe have violet temper sometimes but he’s autistic and so are you and I, You don’t wanna date neurotypical. He's probably trying to get out of the friendzone.” She just looked at me with that sly smile on her face. Her mom did the same thing.

I mean sure we went to school dance together twice but we never dated or been in a relationship. We never been on real dates. He texts me sometimes but not everyday. He don’t call. She said, “It doesn’t mean he doesn’t like you. He may be too shy to ask you out because you might reject him or want to keep the friendship. If he would’ve saw you meet someone else he’s gonna be heartbroken so you might give him a chance.” They know I only like him as a friend. but he deserves to be with someone that shares the same feelings and he’s gonna miss out on other ladies that may like him.