r/Crush

So, I (21F) have known my (23M) guy best friend for 5 years now but we’ve gotten closer during the past year (not long after he broke up with a girl he dated for 3 years). We talk about everything, we get along like crazy and we share some common interests (though he is far more active than I am).

A couple months into our close friendship, comments from friends, family and even just people who saw our stories started to think something was going on. I was often teased on that, and I know that when we go out for drinks, we get really close but have never actually crossed the line. Until 3 months ago, i used to just brush off the comments, I saw him as friend, nothing more. He’s attractive but I had never truly considered it and my automatic response to people was to say “we’re just friends” without giving it much thought. Then, during a group vacation, I got with one guy from our friend group, unexpectedly and it got super weird. My best friend started drinking a lot and rambling about how we were friends and I never told him about that guy. There was nothing to say because that actually happened on the fly but I still apologized to him. Meanwhile, everyone kept asking him if he was okay, hinting that he was in love with me or liked me. He kept brushing it off bur also drank a lot that night. The next morning, I learned that he and my bestie (22F) had mad out and she even gave him a bj. We were all shocked, as it was so random, but I wasn’t bothered. It was weird in terms of timing but it was a vacation so whatever. On her side, she said she had no feelings, it meant nothing and he did the first move. Also important to note that, a day prior, my bestie had an issue with her car, and my ex-best-friend was there and he helped her out. It seemed like my current bestfriend was trying so hard to be the one who fixes it and that whole night felt like a pissing contest. It truly felt like he was jealous and wanted to prove he could be the man of the situation. One week later, I ended things with the guy I had gotten with, and my best friend and I had just started to not feel weird because of the vacation thing. We often go on rides on his motorcycle or just spend a lot of time having deep talks. The whole friend group got together again, 3 weeks later, for a national holiday and it was awkward for my bestie as everyone kept making jokes about what happened between them, even him. 1 week ago, him, I and 2 other people went to the US for a day trip and I realized that I do have feelings for him. It all clicked that night because we had a couple drinks in and i was sober enough to think clearly and be conscious but not sober to the point where my head was overthinking everything. And at that moment, I just wanted to be in his arms. I didn’t do it, but I thought about that the whole time. I wont go into details but I have a hard time getting in relationships because I struggle with social anxiety and I keep overthinking every step of a relationship until I end up running away (which is why I brushed it off when I was asked about him). The only time I truly feel like myself is when I have a drink in because it stops my brain from spiralling into thoughts.

I’ve talked about it to my bestie, asking her how she felt about that. * Note that they’re not friends and have seen each other maybe 5-6 times. Apparently, they now talk often because she started her biking lessons and she asks him for advice/help. So, when asked, she said she minded. She said it was gonna make her sad if him and I have a thing together. I haven’t spoken to him about it and have never confirmed if he truly likes me, but I see how he looks at me when we go out, and hear how people say we are when we go out for drinks. I know it may feel like an “alcohol-relationship” but that is because of my social anxiety.

My other bestie, and my sister, seem to agree on the fact that, it was never serious, and it will never be. She was never interested but she’s a go-with-the-flow type of girl. She is also know for having crushes quite fast. I know that, had I not invited her to the national holiday, she would not care by now because she was so embarrassed to even see him again. She told me. But since she saw him again, she started texting him and I think it changed things. I don’t wanna make issues in our friendship, but it sucks because she spent the last 8 months saying that we clearly like each other, and then did what she did. Now, I feel like the bad person for trying to pursue a relationship I want and I simply don’t know what to do…

** There’s already a lot of info, so if you have questions, ask away, i will respond and edit this to add them!

[supprimé]

Girls, tell me what do you really want in a boy that you find most attractive and that you cannot stop yourself from seeing him?

Throwaway for privacy. I have social anxiety, so this whole situation has been a lot for me.

I (20F) have known "A" (18M) since childhood. He's the son of a close family friend, and our families are close (church, holidays, visits). Despite over a decade of knowing each other, we've never actually been friends. Both our families are also pretty conservative and religious, which is why there's never been room for private one-on-one conversation/interaction between us, since at least another family member is always around; and why anything more direct feels higher stakes than it might otherwise.

He's generally guarded and a bit "macho" about the idea of girls overall. Part of that guardedness seems shaped by his mom; who I think has encouraged that macho, somewhat arrogant persona in him. He sticks to his guy friends and avoids closeness with girls his age generally from what I've heard, but it goes beyond that baseline specifically with me. For years, his behavior toward me has felt different and inconsistent from how he treats pretty much everyone else. He has often/does avoid sitting near me, avoids eye contact, rarely greets me, and goes cold specifically when parents/family are around, while recently seeming more relaxed in group settings with other kids/young adults. On the rare occasion he did say hi and I didn't respond, he's checked my facial reaction afterward like he was trying to read me.

Growing up, there were a couple of mocking incidents (a laughing-at-me moment, an unkind comment relayed through my brother instead of said to me directly) that still sting. A while back, not recent, but not childhood either, there was a moment at a group outing where I was visibly having a rough moment (nothing serious, just something that made me look a bit embarrassed) and while others around me showed concern, he seemed amused instead. Another period of time, a few years ago, there was also a hesitant almost reluctant hug at his house around Christmas time that his mom had to nudge him into which then turned into a proper, both-armed hug.

Sort of recently right before I moved abroad temporarily for a while, our families went on a trip together. He mostly avoided me like usual, but there were a couple of moments he spoke to me directly — during a card game one night, and again during a beach conversation, though his tone in the second one felt kind of detached, like he didn't know how to talk to me normally. But other times on that same trip he was pretty distant — he left the moment I started showing my brother something, and when my brother directly asked him to help me steer a boat I was struggling with, he just ignored it and didn't help. When I was leaving to go abroad, his family came to say bye, and he stood the whole visit instead of sitting when offered a seat, and seemed to stare at me along with everyone else at one point.

Recently, at a separate church occasion he gave me the second ever brief one-armed hug as part of a group greeting/wishing, but then avoided standing next to me for pictures afterwards. Then most recently at my brother's grad party he was quietly attentive in small ways during group games. Helping me out, including me, reacting almost defensively when I voted him out one game...but just days later, at his house, he didn't say hi and was noticeably cold and flat.

After a lot of deliberation, I sent him a first ever direct message calmly asking if I'd done something to make things awkward between us. I panicked almost immediately and deleted it within minutes. I sent one follow-up since and deleted quickly after. I don't know if he saw them, and it's been a little while now with no response. I’ll likely be seeing him again soon at a family friend's daughter's birthday party, so I'm not sure if I should try to address this in person or just let it be.

Dealing with social anxiety, I know that sometimes I read into small things more than I should. I'm genuinely trying to figure out if this is a real pattern or if I'm overanalyzing normal awkward behavior. I'd really appreciate honest, kind, but objective takes rather than just comforting ones. I want to actually understand this clearly. Please be gentle with the delivery, as I'm dealing with a lot of anxiety around this.

What would you actually do next in my position?

Long story short I went on my first date after being with the same woman for 5.5 years. My first and only partner as a 21M.

I told myself what I was looking for. It didn’t have to be exactly this but I’ve always gotten along with more “alt” woman or “free spirit”. Even though I’m a vanilla light skin lol. I don’t do hook-ups and only wanted long term/life partner matches.

What I was looking for- a “alt” girl, 5’5 or shorter, piercings, tattoos, little weird, hint of crazy, wants kids, marriage, long term relationship, older than me, fit, and just someone who will get me out my shell.

Anyway, I literally matched with someone exactly as described! Talked for a day then I strapped my 🥜 on and asked her on a date because we were already getting along on text.

So next day. We went to a cafe and talked for about a hour than went back to her place to hangout on her apartment roof and had a few soft drinks. Ended up talking for like 5 hours and we hit it off. Genuinely like her & we had a lot in common and wanted a lot of the same things from life. She made herself clear with what was “Boyfriend” material to save us time.

Towards end of the date, we were chillen in her apartment & she said her back hurt. I offered a massage and she said hell yeah. Than asked if she could take off her shirt & ofcourse I was caught off guard but said yeah nervously lol.

2nd tatas I’ve seen in person btw🫡. Gave a fire massage than got one myself than kindly cuddled for a bit and talked more before I had to leave.

That date felt like I had gotten to know her SO much and we both really enjoy the company. She even said she doesn’t like a lot of people or easily but she liked me a lot.

She clearly WAY more sexually comfortable which is kinda what I wanted but I was not prepared on my first date 😂

She calls me cutie, called me baby once today, slight spicy photos. I do like her a lot considering how shortly we knew each other.

She made it clear she wants something serious. Want to start a family before 30, maybe go back to school, and she’s just always been a relationship based person. She broke up with her “life partner” and ironically so did I. It’s like we found each other by some weird luck.

Ofcourse everyone moves differently but it’s All out of my normal but I kinda asked for it. Not sure if I should roll with it because I don’t mind but I’m scared it might be too fast.

Granted, I know I’m different from all the guys she was with before. So maybe she genuinely just fell quick because I set myself apart.

Feel like I snapped a one wish willow but it’s up to me if it’s good or not.

Thoughts?

What would you do?

I know most guys would kill for this but I’m just a handsome light skin who looks the part but doesn’t play the part……..yet😂

I have had a crush on this girl (who also happens to be a pretty close friend) for several months now. It is driving me insane and I really need clarity. I’m not even sure if she likes me back (like 70% sure she doesn’t), especially because I haven’t told her I am sapphic.

At this point, I just want to get it off my chest. It’s really becoming difficult to act normal around her (I am just really awkward now) and I don’t want this whole thing to be weirdly one-sided. Of course I would rather that she feels the same about me, but I think either way I would be better off knowing than pining over it.

Should I just confess and get it over with so that I can move on? Or, would it be better if I just let it die on its own? How should I go about confessing if I decide to? I have never really had a crush this long before and i’m not sure what to do.

last year around this time i asked a girl out on snapchat she rejected, not because she hated me but because she thought of relationships as a distraction, she used to talk to me a lot and we used to be very close and she would always be soo nice to me and now that i think about it intimate too but this is the kind of intimacy you see very casually within close friends. we live on the same street her house is next to mine and she is my best friends sister. i still love her veryyyyyy much she seems like a goddes to me whenever i look at a girl i either feel yk what but whenever i look into her eyes i just feel paused as if everything around me stops and i keep staring into her eyes she is like a goddes to me and i worship her like one whenever i think of something bad i start thinking of her and my mind just wanders off and basically zone out hardd im thinking of asking her out again what do you guys say (p.s- we stil talk alot.) i want your advice and comments on this situation is it sticky??

I've searched up for answers so many times like a love sick maniac who doesn't get the depiction of love. I'll say it now, I'm still young so I myself can understand why I don't understand it or why I don't feel it yet.

(other than family love ofc. I love my fam, they give me plenty enough of love)

I get the same answers, word by word with the signs too. But no matter how many times I searched up its meaning, it never relates to how I feel.. Like my mind pushed aside that idea. My heart pumps so fast whenever they're around, but my mind doesn't seem to want to accept the fact I might have a crush.

Maybe I'm just being dramatic.. I'm just too young to understand. I never get why people starts dating at my age. I never have once gotten curious into getting into a relationship.

I said to them that I would think about how I feel for them, but I don't want to let them be hung up with my words, feeling hopeful that I may accept their confession. It's waking me deep in my core.. Im trying so hard to understand my feelings. I don't want to hurt any of them. I don't want to make them wait so long just to be disappointed. That's what I fear.

Am I an ashhole for being like this? I feel like a prick. And I hate that I'm doing this to them.

I’m looking for honest opinions because I know nobody here can read minds.
There’s a cashier at a store I go to pretty often. Over time we’ve had a lot of small interactions. She has waved at me first multiple times, and one time she even came up to me to start a conversation. We joke and tease each other a little, and we usually make pretty solid eye contact when we talk.
One interaction that stuck with me was when we shook hands. It wasn’t just a quick handshake—we kind of held hands for a few seconds before letting go. And she asked what I was doing that day (4th of July) then I asked her she told me where she was going and when she was off

So Recently I missed an event where she might have been, so I didn’t get to see her. My plan now is just to keep talking to her naturally and get to know her better before asking for her number.
My question is: based on everything I’ve described, does it sound like I’m at least on her radar, or am I reading too much into normal friendly behavior? I’m not asking if she’s definitely into me—I know strangers on the internet can’t know that. I’m just curious what impression these interactions give you.

Idk what to do , me and my crush confessed to eachother and we both started talking a lot and all , though we never agreed on dating but we're more then friends, right? I just dont know what our relationship would be now.. I was just hoping I could get some advice on here.

I have a friend who has a coworker she finds really attractive and funny. When she first started working at the company, he used to tease her a little, saying things like, “So, are you buying me a coffee today?” After that, he stopped making those kinds of comments.
They see each other almost every day. They cross paths in the morning and again in the afternoon when she’s coming back from her smoke break. They always say “good morning” or “good afternoon,” but that’s about it.
Here’s the part that’s confusing her. Every time she comes back inside and walks toward the stairs to go up to the first floor, she notices (through the reflection in the shiny tiled wall/glass) that he’s watching her as she walks away. It’s happened enough times that she doesn’t think it’s just a coincidence. Sometimes he even seems to step out from the side of the glass break room so he has a better view of her walking up the stairs.
The thing is, she has what people call a “resting bitch face.” She’s actually nice, but she naturally looks very serious and confident, so she worries that he might think she’s unapproachable. She’s also quite shy, especially because he’s almost always surrounded by coworkers, so she doesn’t want to do anything obvious or flirt in front of everyone.
She’s not looking to make a move. She just wants to subtly let him know, “I know you’ve been looking,” without making things awkward or embarrassing either of them.
From a guy’s perspective, does this sound like he might be interested, or could there be another explanation? And what’s the most subtle way she could acknowledge that she’s noticed him without being too forward

I’m 15f and he’s 17m. Calling him M. M and I are very similar, but he’s super bold and I’m shy. I like him very much. He teases me about my height and weight because I’m short and scrawny. I like it, but I don’t know how to tease back because I’m terrified of saying something mean to him. M is very sweet otherwise, always making sure I’m okay and telling me to eat. He says he doesn’t want to be in a relationship for a few years and I respect that but I can’t help but feel like he likes me. I mean, he talks about marrying me (mostly in a joking manor) but frequently. And he asks me “who would you crack out of our friends for $100” “what do you find most attractive in a man” “who treats you the best out of our group”. He’s also pretty physical with me in a way I haven’t observed with others. Poking me, ruffling my hair, picking me up, hugging me when nobody else is around. He also invites me around a lot, saying how he could’ve brought somebody else but chose me. He knows that I don’t like being at home, so he brings me around a lot. On top of this, when we’re talking, he stands very close. Like I can feel his breath close. If we’re quiet (and this probably means nothing) I catch him with this little smile on his face. And if he’s talking to someone else he looks at me or leans over to see my face. M gets protective about this boy who likes me, and once got me out of a situation where I was very uncomfortable with him.

I just wanted to yap, thank you for listening

Hello Reddit! This is my first time using reddit so wish me luck.

I (22F) have a huge crush on my friend, we can call him Joe (25M). I first met Joe almost two years ago. The moment I laid eyes on him I thought he was attractive. I've never been one to develop a crush solely based on looks but observing his behavior and then later getting to know him made me start crushing on him.

Unfortunately, I'm not the only one that feels this way. My friend group jokes that everyone has a Joe phase, in which they are in love with Joe and pretty much everyone agrees he is attractive.

The first year we knew each other we weren't close at all, we were a part of the same church congregation and large friend group, so we saw each other every week and chatted, but so did everyone else in the group so it was nothing special. I even started playing pickleball so that I had an excuse to hangout with him more (now I just genuinely like the sport lol).

After getting to know him a bit I really wanted to ask him out, but was far too nervous to do it directly. So I asked him to be my plus one to a wedding of someone we both knew. He seemed down to do it, but the timing didn't work out for him. He was in a local musical production at the time and had rehearsals (his roommates fact checked that this was indeed true). Where I hesitate is the fact that he didn't say something like "I'll make up to you and we can do something else".

After this I decided it would be better off if we were just friends, mostly out of fear of embarrassing myself if I did anything further. I'm so glad I decided this! It took all pressure off of all our social interactions. He soon became one of my closest friends.

About 9 months ago/ a year and some change into me and Joe's friendship, my depression really started acting up. I opened up to Joe and his roommates about it one night when I was feeling unsafe to be alone and asked to come over. I'm so glad I wasn't anything besides friends with Joe at this point because I would have been way to embarrassed to open up. That first night I opened up to them they let me stay over at there place for as long as I needed, we watched SNL, random YouTube videos and Joe made me ramen.

This soon became a weekly occurrence. It was truly the darkest time in my life and I'm still coming out of it. We would joke that that group of roommates were my therapists. They would check in on me about how my new meds were going and debrief with me after awful therapy appointments, talk me through so many bad nights.

One occasion that sticks out in my mind is when I was having a breakdown in my car in the middle of a random parking lot. I had called a different friend who wasn't close by and she tried contacting people who were close enough to come get me. She contacted Joe, who was a 15 minute drive away spending time with his grandparents. He dropped everything and came to make sure I was ok. We talked for hours, he made me food and I slept on his couch that night.

Fast forward to now and I am living abroad. I find myself really missing all of my friends but especially Joe. It doesn't help that Joe recently told me he and his girlfriend of 8 months broke up. I feel like I'm back in that "Joe Phase" all over again. I cannot stop thinking about how he would make such a good boyfriend and how much I love him.

My fear is that when I come back home soon that our dynamics will change because I am crushing on him (I always become a different version of myself when I like someone, I can't help it). I don't want dynamics to change, I cannot afford to lose a friend of this good of quality.

In the same way I fear that if I asked him out, we could not go back to current dynamics, or the dynamics of before I left.

Another part of me doesn't want to ask him out because if we did start dating he'd be burdened with all my crap and he doesn't deserve that.

Any advice? Advice on how to squash my crush? Advice on how to sneakily see if he's interested in dating? Anything is welcome. Let me know if anything needs clarification.

So there is this guy that I met for a club interview. He was the one who took the interview and he was really cute. The club has two more rounds of interview but I wanna send a request to him on insta. I’m scared that I might embarass myself by him not accepting my request or by chance I get rejected from the club. Pleaseeeeee help me out. What should I do

Alright, idk where to start. First of all, my mother tongue is something wierd, called sowrashtra, and finding ppl of that language is more than hard, it's so rare. But when I joined this new school, I found a very beautiful girl of that language. I somehow got her to chat with me, and she was surprised of this language matter too. But she doesn't chat with me, just replies to what I say or ask, is that because she don't like me or that I don't talk to her irl?

In school, I once said hi but nothing else because of some reasons :

1. She is not my class, she's commerce and I'm science and the classrooms are pretty far away.

2. She'll ALWAYS be with her friends, in fact I've never seen her alone.

3. The final and the most important reason is that I'm shy, I've never talked to a girl by myself before.

What do you guys think that I should do? I need to get her to chat with me and hopefully become my gf.

And ONE more important detail, we started to chat very recently, so she doesn't know much abt me.

PLSSS GUYSSS I NEED HELPPP, READ EVERYTHING

Edit:Thank you everyone for your replies. I'm going to be too ashamed to read this in the morning but I will try. Thanks again everyone.

A little over a year ago I met a woman. It was a love at first sight sort of thing. We talked a bit over a few weeks but I eventually ghosted her. I was experiencing extreme limerance and I got very close to giving this woman my cell number.

My wife and I have been together for over 15 years. Our son was born 11 years ago. I've only spoken to my father one time. After my son was born, he reached out and I rejected him. I guess this has made me feel an unwavering loyalty to my son. I guess this is why I've stayed with my wife for so long. I do love my wife but if my son wasn't born we wouldn't be together.

I can't stop thinking about this other woman though. I've been no contact with her for almost a year and she still invades my thoughts. I dream about her. I can't control my dreams. I'm not trying to be like this..

I love my wife. I love my son. I just want to be a good dad and a good husband.. but it's been nearly twelve months and this woman is still on my mind. I can't control what I dream about. I just have to stay away from this other woman no matter what.

I'm also a high functioning alcoholic. One night, some time ago, I had too much to drink. I ended up confessing everything to my wife. This was the second time i brought up the other woman but I was much more emotional about it this time.. it's hard for me to communicate my feelings also.. especially because I I don't want to hurt my wife. She is genuinely my best friend...

I guess I don't know what Im getting at here. I guess I just needed to put this somewhere. I'm just going to keep avoiding the other woman and doing my best to be a good man for my wife and my son. I love them so much.

Thanks for reading.

If anyone has any advice I thank you. I probably won't reply to be entirely honest but I promise I will read every comment.

Almost every friend in a relationship and I am not .people say be yourself but I think I'm confidence about myself still get rejected and never had a relationship what am I missing ?

I hung out with my friend, her boyfriend, and the guy I like (I don’t think he has any idea that I have a crush on him). It was the first time we’d spent that much time together. He complimented me, saying things like, “I like your voice,” and “Your name is pretty.” He kept making jokes about things I said and then looking at me to see if I was laughing. He also made a lot of eye contact and asked me a lot of questions about myself. We had so much fun.
But the next day, I posted an Instagram story with the friend we had hung out with, and he didn’t even like the story or text me. Does this mean I was just being delusional the whole time, or could he just be shy?
Also, do you think I should like his next Instagram story to let him know I’m interested, or should I just wait until the next time we see each other?