r/Friendzone

I’m 20M and she is 25F. We’ve been talking for about two months, but during that time we’ve become surprisingly close. We really click with each other, we’re on the same wavelength, and it feels like we understand each other very naturally. Our personalities and sense of humor also match really well, and I honestly feel like there’s a very strong connection between us.
Because of that, she has become a very important person in my life, and I’ve developed feelings for her that go beyond friendship.
The complicated part is that she has a boyfriend.
She recently told me something that really stuck with me. She basically said:
“You’re too kind, and I feel like something moved inside me. I do like you, obviously, but I don’t know where the line between ‘I like you as a friend’ and something more is emotionally. I need to figure that out, because I don’t want anything like that inside me. So this is me being completely honest.”
I’m honestly not sure how to interpret that.
On one hand, I obviously have feelings for her too, so hearing that she might have some kind of feelings for me meant a lot. Especially because of how naturally we connect and how comfortable we are around each other.
On the other hand, she has a boyfriend, and I don’t want to interfere with their relationship or put any pressure on her. I respect the fact that she is in a relationship, and I don’t want to become the person who tries to convince her to leave him for me.
I really value our friendship, and honestly, I’m scared that being completely open about my feelings could change the friendship or even make me lose her. At the same time, I don’t know if keeping my feelings completely to myself is the right thing to do either.
I also don’t want to misinterpret what she said and assume that she means something romantic when she may simply be confused about the emotional boundary between friendship and something more.
How should I handle my feelings and my friendship with her from this point onward while respecting the fact that she is currently in a relationship?
I’m not looking for advice on how to “steal” someone’s girlfriend. I genuinely care about her, and because our friendship means so much to me, I want to handle this as respectfully and carefully as possible.

We both study at different faculties in the same university. i met her through a friend of mine, and we got along well. We have pretty similar interests and for the past few months ive started developing feelings for her. She is so beautiful in my eyes although none of my friends agree with me, they all tell me to stay away from her because she is manipulative and unstable. I do know that yet i do not care and i confessed to her a few weeks ago, she wasnt very fond about it, although she didnt deny it completely she said she would be thinking about it, i dont know what to do now since we would be meeting up in a couple of days, should i hold my ground and pursue her or should i let her go? Please help me........

So, I met my homegirl two years ago at a weekend kickback where a bunch of friend groups from our city got together and rented a big lake house. Anyways, we instantly hit it off and shared our playlists, etc. At the time, I had a small crush on her for like a week or two (but she had a boyfriend at the time), and then it slowly faded away. That wasn’t the basis of our friendship, though, and we still hung out a lot.

Fast-forward a year, and I had slowly lost a lot of my friends because their girlfriends were control freaks, they became stoners, or some even started experimenting with harder stuff. So, my homegirl and I grew closer. She is truly amazing and has helped me through a lot of sh*t, and I think this is when I honestly started developing deeper feelings for her. I’ve meant to ask her out, but either I didn’t have the courage or she was dating someone.

Ever since then, I’ve kept these feelings to myself and tried not to think about them, and it worked until today. Yesterday, we planned our hangout and decided to have a cook-off at her place. We both made pizzas with small challenges, and it was genuinely the most fun I’ve ever had. After I got home today, though, I started feeling very depressed. It felt like there was a rock on my chest, and I feel like the only way to make this feeling go away is to tell her how I feel. But I know it would definitely ruin our friendship because she has said a lot of things that exclude me from her dating preferences, along with some small backhanded comments that have confirmed to me that she would not date me. I honestly don’t know what to do.

I have tried to make new friends but it is nowhere near close to what my girl bestfriend and I have.

She is the only person I can tell everything to without being judged except for this, I guess :,)

I moved to a new country, and I don't have any friends here except for two. I met one of them (I won't use names for privacy, let's call her Kate) online and we had a slight attraction for each other, but we never saw each other back then. This attraction ended when Kate started liking the guy she liked six months ago again. There's nothing wrong with that, and we continued to communicate as friends. When we first saw each other, she brought her friend (let's call her Jane), and we had a happy group: me, Kate, and Jane. Almost six months have passed since then, and now we're good friends, but I realize I'm starting to like Jane. Would it be weird if I asked her to go out together? There's just one thing that's bothering me: Jane will be moving to another country in two years, and as far as I know, she wants to focus on her studies and admission. Should I try something with her or is it better to remain friends? Thanks for help, and have a nice day!

In a bullet point nutshell
-i told my best friend i had a crush on guy
-best friend is best friend with guy
-best friend told guy that we would look cute/match and that im not the type of girl to “reject or “string” a guy after dates/showing interest”
-we went on 2 dates and have been talking for months/calling for 5h
-1st date he came to buy summer beach house/travelled for 8h total/brought flowers
-2nd date we went shopping (for him), ate dinner (he payed)—had a good time (i was lowkey mean tho)
-i realized i dont like him

I don’t want to hurt him—i like him as a person but not romantically—he has been hurt by multiple girls for being “too nice”—i wish to like him but I can’t and i feel so horrible and i want to be friends and i dont want him to hate me and I don’t want our overall friendgroup to hate us

what do I do??

My guy best friend and I have been best friends for about two years. Ngl, I think he’s cute, so obviously that makes this whole situation a little more complicated.

When we first became friends, he once told me that he wouldn’t date younger girls. There’s a six-year age gap between us (we’re both adults btw,), so I basically filed that information away and assumed there was nothing romantic there.

However, he does things that could easily be interpreted as romantic gestures, to the point that other people regularly assume we’re dating.

Recently, he’s actually started bringing up the fact that people mistake us for a couple. He says he doesn’t mind being mistaken for my boyfriend, and he’s also mentioned that he’s becoming more open-minded about relationships in general. I’m not sure if I’m reading too much into that or if he’s trying to hint at something.

This past weekend, I visited his city and ended up staying at his house. We had a few glasses of wine and talked until the early hours of the morning. When it was time to sleep, we shared his bed, and he hugged me. We ended up spooning while we slept, and he was being really affectionate with me.

Needless to say, my heart was racing. Now I’m completely confused. On one hand, I feel like there are some pretty obvious signs that he might be interested in me. On the other hand, we’ve been best friends for two years, and I really don’t want to interpret normal affection between close friends as something romantic just because I happen to find him attractive.

Am I reading too much into this, or does this sound like he might actually be interested in me? What signs should I look for before I make myself delulu?

So Me \[ 20F\] and this guy \[21M\] I’ve been friends with this guy for the past six months now and there’s always been an unspoken truth between us our feelings . long story short he hasn’t been in a relationship in a while and he doesn’t open his heart up to a lot of people. He’s quite avoidant but he’s opened up to me more recently we’ve known each other for six months now and a few weeks ago we were talking the term dating come up a lot he kept talking about it “if we were dating“ so I thought to myself he must be thinking about it. I was trapped in my own mental prison. I needed to set myself free so we were having a conversation and long story short I told him my feelings he thought that I saw him as a brother or something so when I told him he panicked . physically left the room he come back 10 minutes later and acted as if nothing happened that was a few weeks ago now and I asked him on text. Do you like me more than a friend and he said this part originally “I like you as a friend“ then he added“because that’s all we have been. I’ve already told you this?” It felt like complete friend zone.

I don’t know about you, but it sounds like a role more like talking in past tense so anyways it hurt that he told me that but I also believe that people who are especially scared of rejection or vulnerability show their feelings in different ways so it’s like his actions don’t match his words he says he only sees me as a friend, but he admitted things which definitely aren’t platonic. He also admitted on the last phone call we had we FaceTime and he looked in the camera when he said this but he said how I can tell you everything in something and I think we both know what it is but only you know the answer I got scared so I didn’t say anything

And I’m just so stuck. I don’t know what to do if I just let it panel out I suppose. He said from the start that he wasn’t in any rush for a relationship and he likes to take things slow, but honestly, I don’t know what I want from this anymore.

Did anyone else have any other experiences like this? I really want to manifest that we would be in a relationship because I think we could be good for each other but I just want to know if anyone has had any success or what to do in this situation ?

I (F52) cannot maintain any healthy relationships with the opposite gender. At some point, I realise that they want more than friendship even if things were clear at the beginning and boundaries set meaning than I am not interested in being more than friends.

Hola, buenas noches. Soy J.

¿Hay alguien activo para charlar de algo? Tengo algo que quiero contarle a alguien y me vendría bien tener una opinión completamente imparcial.

No busco que me den la razón ni que me juzguen; simplemente alguien que pueda escucharme, leer la situación desde afuera y decirme sinceramente qué piensa.

Hey guys, really need a sanity check on this situation because I feel like ???

My ex 19M and I 21F got back together (begged me btw on all my phones) after he moved back to his country. Things seemed fine, so we went ahead and booked flights for me to go visit him. Then literally a month later, HE drops that he "lost feelings" and can't do long distance.His concerns is I’m going to leave him again and be heartbroken.But instead of just ending it, he suggests I still fly out and come visit as "just friends." We lived together for about a year BTW before he left

Where it gets weird:
On Tuesday, he randomly flips his stance and tells me I shouldn't come because I'm "going to be sad or uncomfortable." He kept having this narrative.When I stayed cool and he wanted to give me half the amount.
So I decided I'm still going to go and enjoy my vacation. I accepted the "friends" dynamic, booked my own tours, and casually mentioned I was going to meet up with another friend in his city for a night.

The shift:
The SECOND I mentioned having other plans and meeting a friend, he was just being a little controlling with the ???….

And he asks ‚but u have to tell me when u are going to see your friend so we can plan for that‘

What plan 😭😭

We’re both young, so I’m trying to figure out what is actually going on here. Is this just pure stress or is he trying to keep tabs on me while keeping his options open? How would you guys handle staying at his place with him acting like this? I think his idea of being friends would not work out

I’ve liked this guy for almost 6 years. He was my actual crush-crush—the only guy who ever gave me those insane butterflies. We used to live close, but I moved away. Before leaving, I had my friends confess my feelings to him 💀. His reaction was pretty mid, then his mom caught the phone and that was basically the end of it.

Years later, he messaged me in 2023 and we became close friends again. We’d talk for hours and had a lot in common. He also had a situationship with another girl, which I even tried helping him with as a friend.

Recently, after years of NEET/academic pressure, we're finally both free. His situationship ended because the girl started ghosting him, and suddenly he started flirting with me. A LOT.

He says stuff like “I’ll accept you in any form” and I’m just sitting there like ????? 😭

The weird part is I still like him, but I’m not getting those butterflies anymore. It feels unreal—like this was my dream for years, and now that it’s happening, I’m thinking “why now?”

When I asked why he suddenly changed, he literally said “hormones.” 😭

I’m scared this is just loneliness, free time, or him rebounding after his situationship. I also don’t want to ruin a friendship I’ve spent years protecting.

So… am I overthinking this? Are his feelings genuine, or is this just hormones + loneliness + too much free time? And what am I even supposed to say when he flirts with me? 😭

Like say you’ve been crushing or in love with this guy/girl for months or YEARS. Or when they rejected you so many times and dated other people.

Hi i'm new in this community but i (21F) really need someone's help to figure out my friends
thoughts.

So I’ve realized that I have a pretty huge crush on my best friend (22F, bi) and I’d really love some outside perspectives because I genuinely can’t tell if this is just an intense friendship or something more.
For a little context, I’m isfj and she’s intp (I know MBTI doesn’t define people at all, but I’m including it just as a little extra context for people who don’t know us. And shes pretty much like 'love-it-or-hate-it' person.)

We've been best friends for about 3yrs at this point and i've started catching feelings for her about a year ago, and they’ve only gotten stronger. We’re both into women, although I only recently started realizing.
We sometimes spend a whole day tgt, and she was very physically affectionate with me. We held hands during a movie, she kept getting really close to me, leaned her head toward my shoulder, and at one point she got close enough that I could literally smell her hair 😭. She’s also told me that physical touch is one of her main love languages, followed by acts of service.
She sometimes say stuff like "i think i fit your type perfectly" " i was thinking about you a lot today" too...

BUT she has also said “we don’t need to fall in love hahaha” when we were doing 36 Questions to fall in love thing. She’s very direct, so I don’t think it was necessarily a nervous/“haha unless” kind of comment. She may genuinely see me as a friend.
So yeah, I’m terrified of interpreting intense friendship as romantic interest just because I have a crush on her.
I get so jealous when she talks to other pretty girls, which honestly made me realize how badly I want to be special to her. I’m at the point where I know i like her romantically, but I have absolutely no idea what to do with that information.
If you guys were me, what would you do? Would you subtly test the waters first or just be honest about your feelings? Or just hide your feelings and act like nothings going on?
I really don’t want to ruin the friendship, but I also don’t want to spend another year wondering. Thank yo so so much for reading i really need advice 😭😭

we're really good friends but we also do sexual stuff (we sleep together, cuddle, draw on each other, groping, handjobs etc) but we dont even acknowledge the stuff we do. its been going on for like 8 months now.

My first time ever posting and I honestly have no one to talk to about this and would really love any advice or input. Also there’s a lot of backstory that spans the past few years.

Here’s a few things I need to preface. First, I have a boyfriend (Jack 26M) and we have been dating for almost 8 years now. My best friend (Steve 29M) and I met when I was 21 and him 24, but only became friends through Bob (now 30ish) because we all work at the same place (bf included). Now, Bob and Steve have always known about Jack and were actually friends with him first but once Jack moved departments they grew apart. It was one of those work friendships. Jack is also pretty introverted whereas I am more extroverted. Bob and I had worked in the same department for a couple years and I always considered him as a good person and friend. Bob and Steve are also best friends and this is important later. Once I had moved to the same department and working hours as Steve, our friendship grew stronger due to shared interests and hobbies and just being able to banter and have a dark sense of humor.

A few years ago (2023ish) Bob, Steve and I were a trio of friends; sending memes, going to movies, concerts, even pitched having a podcast sharing our interests. During this time we’d make self deprecating jokes and banter and being the insecure young adult, obviously I didn’t love how I looked and would not out right say that I was insecure, but Steve would make comments to detour me from hating myself. He’d always do it in a way that wasn’t creepy or pushing a boundary which I appreciated.

Now fast forward a year and Bob and I had a falling out. All our mutual friends know what happened between us, and it was really hard for me to confront Bob about my feelings and how he hurt me because I never thought he would. Steve was the one who helped me to feel confident in creating the boundary between Bob and I and even sided with me on the situation, as did most of our mutual friends. This led to Steve and I hanging out without Bob and getting closer and I even consider him to be one of my best friends at this point. He’s met and hangs with my family, and Jack, and I have met his family and have also become friends with his sister (Ally 22F) whom I spend one on one time with too. I helped Steve get the courage to break up with his toxic ex gf and I really wanted him and one of my close girl friends to date, or at least just hit it off and be friends because Steve is not too confident in himself. Jack is totally secure and knows how close Steve and I are, and respects our friendship. At least, he’s never said anything that would make me think that he doesn’t want Steve and I to be friends. Also Steve and I have both gone through some trauma and I leaned on him a lot during that time, whereas it was hard for me to do that to Jack because honestly, I didn’t think he understood my grief. During that time I was also very depressed and I started to feel a little resentment towards Jack, and couldn’t help but think of all the similarities and comfort that Steve was able to provide for me. At the end of the day though, I only saw Steve as a good and true friend and I have been better at communicating my feelings and needs to Jack. I love Jack and I know he loves me and would do anything for me.

Okay so now we are more caught up. A couple months ago Steve was in a really depressive episode and I tried to help him through it but he just wouldn’t open up to me and we didn’t talk for a few weeks. Once he started to thaw out he asked for girl help, which has led to him seeing one of our coworkers (Jen 23F). I was so excited and happy for him when he told me how their first few dates went, because he was happy again! We had a convo about how our boundaries were going to be set, bc I didn’t want Jen to feel like she was the third wheel and I wanted to be thoughtful of her feelings and just how Steve’s and I’s friendship dynamic is. Jen is super sweet and we’ve all hung out a few times. Steve and I have talked about his and Jen’s future and both him and I don’t see it going long term, mainly because of their personalities and Steve doesn’t want a serious relationship, especially since he was in a toxic one for so long.

Ally and I were hanging out a month ago and were talking about just everything and anything and she asked how I became friends with Steve, and I told her it kinda came out of just working together and because he was one of the only people I knew in the new department I was in, so I stuck to him. She then told me that Steve actually had a thing for me, and that he would talk about me so much that she and her family were rooting for us to get together, but then I brought Jack over at one of their parties and that’s when Ally and her family found out I had a bf. I brushed off the comment about Steve having a thing for me because I assumed it was when we first started being friends and years have passed since then. I told her that he never mentioned it and I never knew, plus he’s definitely moved on from it because Steve and I have talked about his dating life. Truthfully, this stuck with me for a couple days, because why would Ally bring this up now? Anyway, Steve’s and I friendship returned to normal and we were doing the same things we always did. A couple weeks ago we got to see a movie, just us, and this was the first time in a couple months that it was only us hanging out. We got to talking about some deep stuff, that I honestly never thought we would talk about but was grateful that we were talking about it because one thing about me is my love language is quality time and I love to really get to know someone. Not just the surface level, and especially since Steve had been there for me during all my shit a couple years ago, I felt like I could be there for him now. I never wanted him to feel pressured to tell me anything, I don’t like making people feel uncomfortable. After the talk, we went back to normal but I had more respect for him and was more thoughtful of how to approach him in certain topics. After the talk I also felt that Steve and I’s friendship grew because we were able to be vulnerable.

Okay, so two days ago, a coworker (Lady) came up to me and said that she really needed to get something off her chest and that it had to do with Steve. I assumed it had to be about his episode and I told her that I know and that I’m trying to be there for him even if he doesn’t want me to be. Lady said that it wasn’t about that, and instead is about me and Steve. I wasn’t too confused because in the past coworkers have asked if Steve and I are dating and I’ve always said no, I’m dating Jack and Steve is one of my closest friends. I told Lady that we get dating allegations all the time (even tho we banter, not flirt) and that whoever said something is obviously lying, and plus Steve hates on me (in a teasing, older brother way). Lady then says that Steve told her all about our conversation after the movie and how he left out one thing that he wanted to tell me, and that it was that he’s in love with me. Maybe it was the shock, but I laughed in her face. I told her that I don’t believe her, and that how could Steve be if he’s with Jen? Lady swears that’s what Steve told her, and I honestly can’t stop thinking about it now. Steve has told me other relationship things that he admits only telling Lady and I, so I know he does share private information with Lady. I’ve continued to talk to Steve like I always do but now this information is in the back of my mind. I honestly don’t know what to do. I value Steve’s and I’s friendship, so I don’t want to ask him. Also, could it be that he was only really attracted to me after our talk because he felt comfortable enough to be vulnerable? I want to talk to Ally and compare timelines, but I don’t know what I would do with that information. I don’t know if I should tell Jack because I honestly don’t know if he’ll tolerate Steve and I’s friendship, and I don’t want to keep secrets from Jack but I don’t want to end my friendship with Steve. I don’t want to lead Steve on, even though I don’t think I am, and I just don’t want to hurt anyone. I don’t know what to do.

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Me (M22) been friends with a girl(F23) in my friend group for about 11 months, mostly hanging out in group settings. Over the last couple months a bunch of small things have added up and I can't tell if I'm reading too much into it or if there's something real here.
Some context:
• In a group game (truth-style, picking who you'd choose as a bf in the friend group), she picked me when asked privately.
• I found out separately that months ago she told a mutual friend she liked my hair/face, and another time she called me the most stylish guy in the group in front of others.
• She watched me play football once and told her best guy friend afterward that I played well and didn't get tired, unprompted.
• At a party a few weeks ago, we were both drunk, her elbow accidentally hit my eyebrow, she apologized and kissed my cheek.
• Days after that, in front of me and a mutual guy friend, she said out of nowhere "you have nice eyes."
• We don't spend much one-on-one time together, almost always in groups, but lately we've been sending TikToks/reels back and forth daily, she replies pretty consistently.
• She's never had a boyfriend before.
I like her, and I've been overthinking basically every interaction since these things started stacking up. My gut says the signals are real, but I don’t know if this is actually something or just normal friendly behavior from someone who's naturally warm. She’s not doing that much to another one in the group as well.

We haven't had a real one-on-one conversation yet where anything deeper came up.
Would appreciate honesty.