I (F52) cannot maintain any healthy relationships with the opposite gender. At some point, I realise that they want more than friendship even if things were clear at the beginning and boundaries set meaning than I am not interested in being more than friends.
I am 52F and I have worked with 27M for six years now. I have supported him at work, listened to him when he had issues so basically I have been there for him when he needed advice, etc…both at work and by texts. I have been friends with another colleague 35M since he started, we have been getting along well at work and on line and he has been telling me about his private life not going well such as going on dates and everything ending in disaster, etc…Both guys have become inseparable, like best mates in the last two years and two months ago they both ghosted and blocked me on line. Now they are ignoring me at work. They do as they don’t know me. They don’t reply when I say hi. I am really upset and don’t know how to respond. Any idea why?
I am a 52F and I have been dating a 53M for 9 months. From the first date , he made it clear that he was not after a traditional relationship ending up living as a couple and I am on board with that as I am the same. We get on really well, we have a fantastic connection and he is very affectionate. There’s something annoying though, every time he realises that he has just said something personal/ deep to me he has this mechanism to say that he doesn’t want me to get emotionally attached to him and he wants to stay on his own. It’s almost like trying to undo the bond we have. For example he said that he told his mum and his daughter about me and asked what my daughter thought of “us” then after realising what he said reverted to “ I am happy on my own”. I don’t know what to do. Every date is brilliant and then he spoils it telling me the same thing over and over almost as he was trying to convince himself . He is self sabotaging, like 2 steps forwards followed by three steps backwards. He was hurt in the past and so was I. He keeps saying that I am a nice person and it would be easier for him if I wasn’t (???) Advice please!
I am editing the post. Thank you for all your replies so far, I really appreciate your help.
At some point, he was worried about about his finances, thinking that I could be after his money so we had the talk and he realised that I was better off than him so he stopped mentioning it.
After the last date I am more confused than ever. We talked for 3 hours non stop and he told me a lot of personal stuff and reinforced the fact that I was the only person he could talk to and I told him about personal stuff too. The conversation flowed as usual, feeling wonderful and that ended with all the usual about what I have already mentioned leaving me more confused than ever. For the first time I thought about ending it. There’s a lot of feelings there, I think he doesn’t want to admit he likes me and he’s trying hard to suppress his feelings. I can see it with his body language, he is getting tense and distant. Also he always does that before the end of the date so I always go home super confused like it was a fantastic date until it was not.
Thank you so much for your replies, they have been very useful. It’s been an eye opener. I am amazed to see how complicated dating has been. I forgot to mention we met through a dating app. I just wanted a simple relationship without living under the same roof. I just wanted to spend time together, talk and relax.