r/FriendshipAdvice

My friend and I have very differing views on certain things and although very similar were very different. There views are very firm and most outside much of the firm core of what they believe or think is incorrect. I have been accused of saying things i didn’t say once and texted something not very nice. I payed it no mind but decided to stay friends, even after being disrespected.
Something happened a second time and after many months of walking on shells and being very careful not to say certain things, I called them out on something fiercely offensive to me as a human being and it was a fight via text but I was the issue for standing up for myself. I ignored there call that night and said ill call later.
The next day they messaged me and said II owed them an apology and i was like what about this and the other. It was a back and forth and they pretty much said bye and didn’t hear anything i said and iI said you know i wasn’t wrong for how i felt but i hope we can work things out.
To be honest i think things are over and it makes me sad but it seems really toxic to me. I don’t think making up would be healthy and I have nothing to apologize for. Do I message one last clarifying message of how i truly feel about things and clarify my stance on the reality of things ,or tastefully exit stage left and then block?

Thanis🙏🏻

I (21F) have noticed that a lot of girls my age will talk/act in a certain way that doesn't come naturally to me at all. They will be very bubbly, will overcompliment everyone, and keep the conversation very light and superficial. They all talk like they work in customer service at the mall or something. I have worked in customer-facing roles too where I have to have small talk all day with people. It is EXHAUSTING. I try to avoid it with people I actually want to connect with because I feel like it comes across as kind of detached and even insincere at times.

All of these girls seem so afraid to say anything negative or slightly controversial at all and will judge you if you do. They will always say that everything is perfect, amazing, and that they love everyone they've ever met. I know they probably just want to seem as agreeable as possible, but it really seems excessive sometimes. Like they will say "I know this is probably super niche, but I think a guy doesn't like you back if he doesn't text first!" and things like "I love (person) so much, they're such a cutie!" etc. Even around men they will just be overcomplimenting the men for everything.

Every time I go out I get exhausted really fast and feel left out. I have more of a dry/sarcastic sense of humor so I don't normally talk like them. I have been told that I seem judgmental and that I seem like a bitch. Whenever I say anything I feel like it doesn't sit right with them. I also feel stressed because it's impossible to tell if they actually like me or are just keeping it shallow because they really don't want to connect with me at all.

Is this just me? I thought that maybe it was just a mismatch in personalities but is there some sort of unspoken rule to talk like that? None of my long term friends talk in this way. I get along really well with people I meet in my classes, research groups/jobs, academic clubs/events and people have told me I'm funny and nice in these settings. I feel relaxed and like I can be myself. I feel like I make friends really fast when I work with them or share the same academic or work setting, but I can't make friends fast at all when I'm just on a night out or whatever.

My husband and I are struggling to understand a friendship situation and I could really use outside perspective.

A few months ago we met another couple (I’ll call them Albert & Susie). We all clicked really quickly. We had a pretty active group chat, hung out twice, drinks, long conversations, texting, joking around, talking about future hangouts, etc. The vibe always felt warm and mutual. Nothing dramatic or negative ever happened during the times we saw them. I hung out with Susie 1:1 a few times. It felt great to finally meet people we could be ourselves with.

Then out of nowhere, communication started slowing down.

I sent Susie a message and got left on read. My husband texted in a group chat later and got no response. Albert eventually read one of my messages about a week later but also never replied. Since then it’s basically been complete silence from both of them.

What’s making this hard is that there was never a conflict, argument, boundary discussion, awkward conversation, or obvious “thing” that happened. No one said they needed space. No one expressed discomfort. They just… disappeared.

I know people drift apart sometimes, but this feels confusing because the energy before the ghosting was so positive and engaged. It’s hard not to replay every interaction trying to figure out if we missed something.

The only thing I can identify as "change" was this older friend of theirs popping back into the picture (Ally). Ally is going through some crisis with her husband. The elevator pitch is they were close friends, Ally's husband wouldn't let her be friends with Susie any longer, they tried to reconnect, the husband became an even bigger jerk. Ally told Susie she had to cut her off. Susie was very hurt by all this, and hoped Ally would leave that jerk of a husband.

Overall, we stayed in touch for roughly two months, but I am deeply hurt by the radio silence. My husband and I have both always been a the classic loners. I am a very guarded person, and I rarely open up to others, let alone show my true full self. We felt very comfortable with them, and everything was so effortless. We really thought we were building a genuine friendship with them.

I’m trying to cope with the lack of closure and stop obsessing over what happened. It's so hard to keep myself from texting Susie and straight up ask "are we being ghosted?" or "sorry for whatever it was I did". I feel very dumb, but I can't ignore the fact I feel very disposable. How do I get over this? I thought people in their 40s would have the common decency of at least texting to say "sorry guys, we're just not feeling it anymore".

during undergrad i became super close with this girl really fast, like “besties” type friendship. then she got a bf (she’s 24, he’s 28, met on a dating app — cool, normal, whatever). but ever since this man entered her life i genuinely feel like she became a completely different person and i can’t tell if i’m being dramatic or if other people would also feel weird about this.

first, she suddenly changed her career plans from tech to med sci in THIRD YEAR. obviously people switch careers all the time and that’s totally fine, but it felt very sudden and very influenced by him/the people around him. now she has like 2 extra years because courses didn’t transfer properly while i already graduated.

then there’s the money thing. our friendship used to be very “i got it this time, you get it next time” but i slowly realized… next time literally never came 😭 and i genuinely didn’t notice for a while because i’m so used to paying for people instinctively. i’m the eldest daughter with 2 younger brothers so grabbing the bill, offering first, sending money immediately etc is just ingrained in me. she’s not the eldest and has an older brother + younger brother, and idk if upbringing matters here but our attitudes around money/social responsibility felt VERY different in hindsight.

i genuinely cannot remember her ever saying “i’ll get this one” first or sending her half after. i finally brought it up once and she apologized and we split the bill, but after that we weirdly just stopped hanging out in situations where money was involved.

then came the apartment situation. everyone knows the economy is awful rn, rent is insane, etc. her parents moved further from her uni and she was acting like they personally ruined her life 😭 which okay, a 2 hour commute BACK AND FORTH WOULD suck, i agree. but the way she talked about it was so entitled?? i told her maybe talk to your parents, maybe offer to split rent somewhere closer, maybe work something out since she DID have a part time job.

instead within like 5 days she went:

1. “my parents are getting me an apartment and paying for it because they made my life inconvenient”
2. “omg my bf is moving downtown near campus and said i can just live with him and i don’t even have to pay rent”

and she said her bf basically told her not to worry about contributing because “he’s got it.” meanwhile she kept talking about how they need to save money and budget carefully and i’m sitting there like girl… YOU are the budget 😭

she lives downtown with him now and i have literally never been invited over. no housewarming invite, no “come see the place,” nothing. meanwhile this was someone i considered one of my closest friends.

the last time we got lunch all she talked about was furniture, apartment stuff, budgeting with her bf, relationship things, etc. and i just realized i genuinely don’t relate to her anymore. every convo somehow circles back to him/the relationship/the apartment.

also she kinda disappeared socially once she got into this relationship. barely talks to people, barely posts unless it’s him or vacations, doesn’t really engage with anyone anymore. she’ll occasionally send me a tiktok but even that stopped because i stopped responding as much.

important context: i’ve genuinely never been very interested in relationships/marriage/kids and she’s the COMPLETE opposite. she knows this. i knew that too. i never cared, neither did she?? i didn’t think it mattered because i never judged her for wanting those things, but now i’m wondering if our values/lifestyles are just fundamentally different and i ignored it before because we were close.

i haven’t officially ended the friendship or confronted her or anything. i’ve mostly just quietly distanced myself because every interaction leaves me irritated now and i don’t even know if it’s justified 😭

lastly, i had dinner once w her and her man. we went bowling and then went to a mexican place. it was like a proper meet of "bestie"" whatever, he was boring imo, bowling was weird, they had pda whenever i wasn't looking their way??? the dinner was so weird, my friend literally had 2 drinks and was GONE, SHES SUPPOSE TO BE OUR MEDIATOR BUT WAS GONEEEEE and its just us two making small talk and laughing and finding one common thing and running with it the whole night. ALSO I PAID LMFAOOOO FOR ALL 3 OF US. yes, i told her like pls i feel weird u guys r covering bowling let me cover the dinner. bro didn't even attempt to pay.....like okay no worries i did say i would pay which i did but not very gentleman like!

am i being unfair? jealous? judgmental? or does this genuinely sound like one of those friendships where someone completely changes once they get into a serious relationship? or are we just getting older and drifting apart?? LIKE I HAVE SO MANY FRIENDS IN A RELATIONSHIP, ONE ABOUT TO GET MARRIED BUT I HAVE NEVER FELT THIS WAY BECAUSE THEY'RE STILL THEIR OWN PERSON, NOTHING HAS CHANGED. YES THEY TALK ABT THEIR PARTNERS WHICH IS NORMAL BUT NOT LIKE THIS, IT'S LIKE A ONCE IN A WHILE OR CASUALLY and they're all nice, normal men btw i've met them alllll SO IDK AM I INSANE??

Need some genuine advice on this friendship situation in college.

We were a group of 3 friends — me, one girl, and another boy. I was the one who joined the friendship later, but over time me and the girl became really good friends and used to talk a lot.

I genuinely helped her a lot academically too. I used to send notes, important topics, help during preparation, explain things before exams, and support whenever I could. But during one exam there was very strict invigilation, so helping inside the exam hall wasn’t really possible.

After that, she started calling me selfish, snake, and other things jokingly/seriously, and slowly her behavior changed. There wasn’t one big fight or argument, but the friendship became awkward and distant over time.

Now the weird part is that in class we still sometimes look at each other or notice each other, but we don’t really talk anymore. It’s become this silent awkward situation.

The confusing part is that even though we barely talk now, she still wished me on my birthday. We’re all still in the same class and attend the same meetings, so I honestly don’t know how I’m supposed to behave around her anymore.

Should I:

- act normal and casual?

- maintain distance?

- try fixing the friendship?

- or completely move on?

And was I actually wrong for not helping during the exam because of strict invigilation?

I’m 22(F) and not in school right now. When I was going to school it was pretty easy making friends but for a while now I haven’t been able to go and I genuinely have no friends in general. I have nobody to text or call and the people I try to build friendships with just show no interest since they have their own friends. I do the occasional hangout with someone and then for a few weeks or months there’s no contact. I am kind and respectful to everyone, I have a LOT of interests so I’m easy to get along with, but I still have little to no friends and it’s getting depressing. I can’t tell what I’m doing wrong or what I should be doing better so if anyone could give me advice I’d really appreciate it!!

Hello so there was this friend i had that did me really dirty in the past, like really awful things but after 7 years i decided to give her a chance. The things she did were awful but i’m here to talk about the present since people change so let’s ignore that. Well when we started being friends again she would invite me, being super nice, we went out together at least 2 times then she started talking to me only online, she lives literally 5 minutes next to my house. She has a busy life yes but she makes time for whoever she wants like her boyfriend or her other friend. Btw she has an account for close friends and doesn’t has me in it

When she came to my bday she arrived super late because, she said since her bf surprised her with dinner that it looked kinda rude to refuse when me and my family had already saved food for her (she knew that but yeah) i said it was okay she could only come to the cake then. She stayed for like 15 minutes and asked how long it was gonna take to get to the cake part because she needed to go home. Something i didn’t like is that she started taking pictures of literally every single i had in my room i don’t mean one or two but like everything to send to her boyfriend i asked why she was doing that and she said it was only to send her bf that she wouldn’t post.

Something that really started pissing me off lately is that she started copying a lot of my ideas, and things, i could care less if it was just one thing or two because that would be normal but it got to a point. Literally my whole garden decoration, and some things i had inside my house, and god knows what else. It started to feel like she was acting that the idea was hers so i stopped posting about it because i didn’t want people to think i was copying her ??? she’s more known in my town and people don’t know about me that much so they probably would think that. She had the last week off, and she didn’t ask me to hang out. Not even once.

So i’m kinda different or seen as weird because i like bugs, i have a really special one as a pet, spent a lot to build it a nice home, and it means as much as a cat or dog would mean to a cat or dog owner. Today i posted it and she was the first person to see my story, and i noticed she posted a note on ig after a few minutes i think? with a emoji like throwing up? then deleted it, i was already angry with everything she was doing but this just pissed me off so much that i ended up blocking her. It’s more because of everything she’s doing tho not only this single thing, did i went too far? i don’t even know anymore

I feel like I might have a problem with texting or socializing over text. From what I’ve noticed, most people I message either reply very dryly, like with just an emoji or a short response, or they leave me on seen or delivered.

I usually try to keep conversations going by asking questions, and sometimes when I’m in a playful mood, I’ll send memes. But even in serious conversations, there are times when I get left on read.

Because it seems to happen with almost everyone I know, I’m starting to wonder if there’s something about the way I text that makes conversations feel one-sided or awkward. Or maybe I’m just an annoying person.

Trigger warning: religion/religious trauma. Please be respectful in the comments.

I (28) f think my friend (22) f is only trying to be my friend to try to get me to come to her church and I don’t know if I am over thinking it or not.

We met in college through our Bible study. During that time, I met and dated a guy from the same group for about a year or so, (26) m btw. It ended quickly because I found out he had lied to me, my friend, and the rest of his Bible study that he was single and no longer with his ex girlfriend. He was still with her the entire time we were together! After the break up, he also made rude and sexist comments about women that I reported to the church and the bible study, but nothing was really done about it, so I left.

Because of that experience, I am no longer part of that church and stepped away from it. I am not anti-religious and I still attend a separate all-female Bible study once a month with a friend that is a lot closer to me and fits better with my schedule but I refuse to go back to that church or that Bible study ever again.

My friend knows this, I’ve told her multiple times that I am NOT returning. At first, she was willing to hang out outside of church, but now every time we do hang out, she asks me when I will be coming back to that said church and Bible study and I have to remind her multiple times I will not be returning.

I’ve given her multiple days where I am free outside of Thursdays (their Bible study night), but conveniently, Thursday is the only day she is available. What a crazy coincidence!

Recently, now even her husband has also started messaging me asking when I am coming back to Bible study but I tell him the same thing I tell her that I will NOT be returning.

What confuses me is that she says she struggles to make female friends and wants closer friendship but keeps turning down invitations to do normal things together outside of church. At the same time, I see her going out with other friends and her husband outside of church on social media regularly so I don’t understand why she can’t do the same for me unless she is just using the friendship to try to recruit me.

Another thing that bothers me is that she defends my ex’s rude behavior by saying he has Autism and he’s “just a good debater” I have male friends with Autism who don’t cheat on their partners or make sexist comments, so that excuse doesn’t sit right with me.

We are finally hanging out this Friday for coffee, which I am happy about, but honestly I am worried the whole conversation is going to turn into asking me when I am coming back to church.

Should I ghost, block, or keep the friendship but at a distance?

Hi, I’m writing this because I’ve been on reddit scrolling and looking for advice about a situation there are HUNDREDS of stories about, but it seems like there never really is an answer. I understand every person and their situation is individual and unique, but it kind of seems like this conversation/situation is so prominent and no one ever finds a logical conclusion. I know most things in life don’t have any one real answer, but it feels like this specific situation is often misunderstood or unable to be explained.

!!important info- I’m not neurotypical and I like to come to conclusions logically, emotional explanations/reactions do not resonate with me, it’s just not who I am and frankly it doesn’t make sense to me most of the time. If you’re going to give me advice (please do btw), please keep that in mind. I’m looking for a real logical explanation for this occurrence that happens between avoidant and anxious attachment styles. Thank you.

I’m a young woman in my early twenties, and I’ve come to know that I have an avoidant personality/attachment style, especially when met by someone with anxious attachment. It’s obvious that every time this combination happens, (I’ve seen it in every story), the avoidant person feels suffocated by the more clingy-type of person. The styles just don’t really match up. Mainly I see people try to paint out avoidant personalities as villains (probably the people with anxious attachment giving those types of replies, because ultimately they never understand an avoidant even when they demand to be understood). I see advice that says basically “you can’t cut someone off because they’re more lovely/clingy than you because it’ll hurt their feelings BECAUSE they’re so lovely/clingy.”So where is the two-way stream? Why should I, as a person who likes low maintenance people and lower-emotional waves subject myself to someone that makes me uncomfortable to spare THEIR feelings? It seems like all the answers, or at least the majority, says you as the avoidant person need to be the bigger person and basically coddle the person who has anxious attachment style. It feels like being forced to be somewhat of the game handler in the relationship and the whole problem is I don’t want to be anybody’s game handler. That just doesn’t add up for me and it doesn’t seem fair. It feels like- “The person makes me uncomfortable, why does everyone want me to train them into being my friend?”. I feel like I shouldn’t have to virtually *teach* someone how to be my friend if it’s just incompatible. I don’t want to go for years in a friendship constantly having to say “boundary boundary boundary” to someone when I just don’t like how they operate. What is the point in maintaining a friendship where you have to constantly be something you don’t want to be? Why are we acting like we HAVE to make something work that doesn’t? Friendship should be natural and easy, that’s what I think. Seriously what am I missing or not understanding here? I only ever see people tell the avoidant that they’re pretty much in the wrong, but why have I never seen anyone tell an anxious person that they’re in the wrong? Why do their feelings ultimately rule over mine because their feelings are louder?

As I said above I screwed up royally with a best friend of mine and I take full responsibility for it and she has accepted it …..but

I’m really really struggling with the shift in her dynamic (yes I know I caused it )

She’s asked for space which I gave her ….approx 3 weeks

Her messages are now very infrequent and flat .

She took me out for my birthday last night because she agreed to it before the big fight happened.

But it was quite uncomfortable to be honest - she has said she’s forgiven me but I hurt her deeply and I dont want to push the issue , but I’m an overthinker and it’s in overdrive at the moment

I used the 3 weeks to start to work on my issues and I can tell I’m making progress .

What I’m truly struggling with is her change and I’m in knots about the whole thing because I care so deeply for her and our friendship.

Any advice on how to approach things and essentially get her back (other than waiting and giving her space) because that’s what I’ve done and it’s not been good for my headspace

I am an easily irritated person so I decided to ask here. I've known him for a year now and he'd regularly go through my following list on Instagram and send me profiles of girls he likes and instead of directly dming them, he keeps begging me to do something about it. He asks me to tell them he's a nice guy blah blah but I've always refused (because he lowkey isn't) One time it was literally my cousin. I mean ig he's a nice person but also incredibly lustful. He used to sext girls he met online and he also sent me erotic stories he wrote. It makes me kind of uncomfortable but who am I to judge ig. I don't wanna introduce someone like him to them and embarrass myself when they find out. Am I being mean? I mean I'm still not gonna do what he keeps asking me to do but I just wanna know if I'm overreacting and it's normal. I just wanna have a normal conversation with him about our daily stuff but all he keeps texting me is about girls I follow. He's always been single but it doesn't make sense to me that if he likes them so much, why won't he just try himself? Instead of relying on me. The dependency bothers me. PLUS he never took my relationships seriously. He'd always call them "chopped" and "gay" even though it bothered me and I told him. Sorry I know I don't sound fun but I like having certain boundaries.

My friend is wanting to celebrate her birthday in France this year. It’s going to cost me around $5K for my flights, spending, housing, etc. Because I am spending a decent amount, there are certain things I want to do in France. I saw some tours I wanted to attend, and get me a massage a couple of times. I told my friend this, and she is blowing up, saying I am making the trip about myself and not her for her birthday.

I told her, her actual birthday can be 100% about her, but the other 7 days I want to do activities that I enjoy as well. She claims that the trip is mainly about her and I am always being difficult and she is always having to move things around for me. I told her we don’t have to do everything together in France, we can do a few activities alone and just meet up.

She swears that this trip is about her and if she was doing a trip for her friend she would do everything they wanted to do. Mind you, we are staying in the same hotel room AND flying together.

Am I being selfish? I am spending hella money, taking time off work, and moving my school schedule around to attend. I refuse to make my vacation completely about her, especially when I am covering all of my own expenses.

I would really like to get everyone’s advice and opinion on this story because this just happened a week ago to me and I don’t know what to do or what to think. I don’t know exactly where to start but I have known this guy since 2023 because we are in the same class and he was in a relationship with one of my then close friends that is also in our class for like a year. then at the end of 2025 in October I went through a break up and then we really started getting close and he was there for me and our friendship became really good, i could tell him everything and he always made me cheer up and made me happy. at one point our friendship started to get like really weird where people started constantly asking us if we were together and all of that because he really likes physical touch, especially with me. we would just be standing around school or sitting in our class and he would be hugging me or he would lick my hand for some reason or play with my hair or something like that. now where this all gets interesting is last week we were on a school trip for 10 days in Italy in Spain and all of that and for the first three days we were constantly together like he was in my room with my friends, we were together talking on the bus and all of that. also when i was sick on the second day of the trip he spent the day in our room trying to cheer me up and distract me from sickness. it was really nice, then he randomly came up to me and hugged me in my room and told me that he missed me a lot. And then we went to a club and he got drunk and when he was drunk, he came up to me and hugged me and told me that I’m his favourite person in the class even though his guy best friends are in our class and all of that, I mean he told me multiple times before that I’m his favourite person in the class and then we can always talk. Then throughout the whole night he was constantly hugging me but not just a regular hug. He was like cuddled up to me laying on my neck laying on my chest we almost kissed a couple of times then his best friend came up to me and told me like “come on give him a chance, are you two official finally” and stuff like. And that hugging continued throughout the whole night where we would hug for at least a minute a minute and a half where we would “cuddle”. then in the middle of the night while I was standing he came up and picked me up and held me in the air for a good minute. then we were in front of the club waiting for our professors and he sat down next to me and laid on my chest and hugged me and we were sitting down like that for maybe 5 to 10 minutes and everybody was looking at us. After that, we were in the hotel and I guess my best friend came up to him and told him that the whole situation is uncomfortable and he apologised to me if he made me uncomfortable or anything like that and I told him that he didn’t and that I enjoyed it. And that is the last time we spoke because the next day he refused to speak to me or to my friends he ignored us. He bought a T-shirt that says I love my ex. He started texting his ex again and I caught him multiple times just staring at me and looking at me or waiting for my reaction or something like that or when we were on the bus, he was trying to be extremely loud so I can hear him. And when he saw me talking to my ex, he was just stearing at us like really obviously and I guess that bothers him. I forgot to mention that the day after all of that happened I actually came up to him and asked him if he is mad at me or if I did something and he just brushed it off and said everything’s fine and all of that, even though I know it is not. now I have asked every single person for their opinion and they told me that he is probably in love with me and that he felt some type of guilt because of the whole situation and because he was drunk and basically confessed to me all of that and I didn’t give him a reaction back because I do not like him. another thing that is important about him is that he is obsessed with attention and the moment I didn’t give him that attention back meaning like a kiss or a relationship he started talking with his ex again and tried to make me jealous. i’m currently really sad that I lost such a good friend because I have to see him every day in school and we can’t even say hi to each other and I don’t know if I did something wrong. Maybe the only thing is that I was hugging him back and giving him that attention and maybe leading him on I guess. but I would really like other perspectives and maybe a male perspective of all of this because I don’t.
please help guys

if anyone has any questions about my story or anything they would like to know, i would love to tell you.
please help guys

so, i'm 15 (already makes it sound like a non-issue but whatever). So I have been really close with this one guy since maybe 2023/early2024?? We were really close but in september last year we had an arguement. Basically I distanced myself bcs I was in a rly bad place mentally and I didn't have the energy. After that I apologized, he said it was fine and we moved on. Ofc it hasn't been the same ever since, but it was okay. But recently he has been very mean to me, and I mean it. Laughing at everything I do, at the way I look, I talk (i have a speech disorder so i stutter a lot and slur my words sometimes), my interests etc. And no, this isn't just "friendly banter". Today every person in our class left bcs they didn't want to attend the last two classes. I asked my mother to go home too as I didn;t want to stay in school for classes where we wouldn't do anything anyway. When I told him that, he got mad, said "whatever go away i don't like you anymore". Now smth about him is that he is autistic, and I have ADHD, and I can never tell whether he is being sarcastic or no. But both yesterday and today he has been extra mean to me so I just did what he said: I left the school without waiting for him. The two classes were eventually cancelled due to the fact that no one was left to attend them, so he left school early too. I didn't text him afterwards because I'm mad at him for how he reacted, but he is also my only close friend in the class, and other than him I only have a friend in the class above us. I don't know if I should end this relationship. I have been in many toxic friendships in the past and it affected me a lot so i'm not sure if it would be the right thing to do. At the same time, I only have two years of high school left and after that I wouldn't have to talk to him. But what he's been doing these past few weeks is exhausting for me mentally and I don't know how much longer I can take it.

so after i stopped talking to her, everything became really awkward.

when we first came in the school she'd made friends with these two girls who were really nice n i became friends with them as well, so after i stopped talking to her they really tried to get me back to being friends- but i hd made up my mind.

the problem is that she is REALLY REALLY NICE TO EVERYBODY ELSE, I dont think 1 other person went through this shit that i did. She wears such a beautiful mask in public but i think i got the glimpse of her true face.

n idc abt all this but why me?? WHAT DID I DO TO HER?? so fucking fake.

so these two really got along more with her eventually. n they love her still. let's call them K and S.

i also got closer to my other friend (lets say B) who knew about all this n who i vented to while i was dealing with her. n she became kinda my new bestie like she was n is the sweetest person ever.

n we had a whatsapp group - me, B, K, S, her and 2 other girls.

n after i stopped talking to her i didnt leave the group bc why should i leave?? she should leave in my opinion. but the thing is i never really made a public declaration about why i stopped talking to her, i only told them that she's a HUGE GASLIGHTER n they kinda asked for proof n instances but i didnt hv any. n i was afraid to tell them the whole thing bc i was still scared of her mother. (i know i m a coward)

the thing is for her- family = dont touch , both the mother n daughter n EVERYBODY KNOWS THIS and they are a bit influential type . n i thought that if i told everyone, her mom would ring me up n if she did my mom would also fight and i didnt want anyone to fight bc i hate confrontations n i was just scared idk i hate myself for this.

so i didnt tell anyone anything much.

I thought we'd all go separate ways after high school n they wont be prominent in my life so idgaf. BUT BUT BUT the friend group grew STRONGER n we still talk on that gc , i dont write a lot n she doesnt either but the others do n they make plans to meet n all n i just avoid it a bit - ive been busy in my life too so i genuinely cant meet them all that much. but i see them posting her in their updates especially B - INFACT B EVEN WROTE HER A HUGE ASS INSTAGRAM POST THE YEAR WE STOPPED TALKING n that just felt bad. B tells me that im her best friend but then why does she talk to her still? am i being insecure? i havent met any other friend like B yet n i trust her a lot , its like she's my sister but she is pretty close to my ex best friend still n posts her and appreciates her a lot n just cant stop being friends w her and it makes me feel so betrayed??, am i being insecure? or should i stop putting so much effort in friendships? i really value a community n i just cant seem to get that.

do i leave the whatsapp group? do i cut them off all slowly? this is like the coolest gc ive ever had like a girl gang but just this one stupid thing that haunts me n makes me feel like what i experienced was invalid. why am i the one suffering?? my ex bff keeps going on being nice to all of them n they LOVE HER, what do i do?? AIO??

edit:
guys i dont think i can bring this up w B bc i think it is socially impossible for her to stop talking to her since she has never done anything wrong to her personally and they also hv been friends for 7+ years n ive also been friends w B for 7+ years only idk man . i know this will only result in me looking overly insecure, idk what to do. why am i stuck in this? i wish someone could get bring clarity and just tell me what to do

Okay so this may be kind of long and if so I'm sorry. So to start off by saying I'm in an open relationship with my boyfriend and we've been together for three years. About two years ago I developed a crush on one of my friends.she had a boyfriend at the time and I never said anything, well that crush transpired over time and turned into love. She even said she wanted me to be her first girl kiss man before I even realized I had a crush on her.

Anyways fast forward to October of last year my birthday, we were drunk in the bathroom just four of us and our friends. And she decided she wanted to kiss all of us just like a quick peck, but still. She chose me to go last, which was insane because of what she had told me a year prior. But we were drunk and I didn't really care it was silly and wasn't serious, but then after we all go back into the room, she pulls me into the bathroom again and said she had to talk to me.

At this point we were all decently intoxicated, she told me she's sorry because she knew she wanted her first girl kiss to be me, and I went last. I told her it was okay and I didn't take it anyway and that she didn't have to worry, well then she started talking and telling me how pretty and sexy I am and how she's always had a thing for me despite having a boyfriend. She even went as far to say that our mutual friend had to stop her from fucking me. Then I don't know how exactly it happened because I was so drunk but she kissed me, it was soft and quick but different than the one earlier. She then started talking about kissing wth tongue and how her boyfriend doesn't do it with her, she missed it. I told her we could, so we did and ended up making out for like 10 minutes. That was the end of that.

Then about two months later she came over again with our mutual friend and only me and her drank. Our mutual friend told us "don't get fucked up and fuck each other", jokingly. After a couple hours our friend left and it was just me and her. The second she left we started making out plastered.She kept telling me how sexy I was and how lucky my boyfriend is he gets to fuck me. She even had me put on a matching lingerie set for her. I also remember at one point she made me find the remote to be able to take a shot and called me a good girl. We kept making out and she had me strip for her. We started taking and it's hard to remember everything because I was so drunk. But we were talking and she told me, I was perfect for her, then I admitted my feelings towards her. I even showed her a letter I had written previously confessing. She told me it was so sweet and she never knew I felt this way, and that it wouldn't change anything. We then continued our rendezvous and she was on her menstrual cycle, I asked her to remove her pants but she said no because of that. She was fine with removing her shirt tho. All night long we talked about how we were secretly in love with each other, no one else understood her like me, sex is never like this for her. There was a lot of kink talk involved in the moments. Some of the stuff is extremely taboo. For example we did mommy daughter play. She also told me I could touch her as much as I wanted to before we went to bed. So I cuddled her while she was shirtless. She was happy I remember her saying she never gets to be little spoon.she falls asleep and I am like in and out drunk and holding her. I'm sort of grabbing her boobs but I'm cuddling her. She wakes up and tells me something I can't remember now but it was 100% along the lines of I'm being slutty or I like that or something. But then she turns over and starts kissing me vigoursly. She then pulled me up and set me on her face and preformed oral sex on me. After this we cuddled for a few more minutes and talked and it was super intimate and romantic.

The next day we both woke up super sick and just kinda sad melancholic idk. She felt bad for her bf like she cheated even tho he told her the first time we kissed he didn't care, but I do get this was more intimate. She was weird with me for a few days, then she finally told me she wasn't comfortable with sleepovers. Our Christmas sleepover was coming up and I saw her having a sleepover with our mutual friend, even tho she told me she didn't feel right in any of her current friendships. Whatever I was sad but I gave her space. She talked to me a few times, told me merry Christmas etc. but eventually she just stopped. This is gonna sound petty but I noticed her family and our mutual friends family had unfriended me. I realized our mutual friend hadnt spoken to me in a week. That's never happened. Then they BOTH left our shared life 360 circle that is used all the time by us all. This whole situation had me all messed up mentally and I just felt like I was going crazy and alone. So I blocked the both of them, and finally left the group chats on Snapchat. I found out that apparently that really wasn't plotted so maybe I'm just paranoid.

Anyways a few weeks later I get a text from my friend asking why I touched her while she slept. I told her I was so sorry if I made her feel uncomfortable in any kind of way I thought it was okay at the time especially since we fell asleep cuddling. I never touched her in her genital area as she told me not to. She told me it doesn't matter if she gave consent, because she was drunk. I agree with that. But the issue here is, we were BOTH drunk. And she had preformed a sexual act on me as well, while I was also extremely drunk. Neither of us should've been touching each other, because we were both drunk. This has been one of the hardest things I've ever went through because I genuinely love this girl so much and I would never want to hurt her and I pains me that she feels like I did. Thanks if you read my book.. I didn't know it would be this long lol. But basically the advice I'm asking for is . Did I assault her, or did we assault each other? I don't ever want to victim blame but I know I didn't mean to assault her .

I lost my whole friend group within a few weeks over a year ago now and honestly I still haven’t properly got my head wrapped around it.

These were people I spoke to every day for years. We were always on xbox, out doing stuff, sending stupid videos and talking about life in general. Then all of a sudden things just started changing and I could tell something was off.

I started noticing they were all going out for drinks together and I was never invited once. At first I tried not to overthink it, but eventually I got to the point where I actually had to ask to be invited places and honestly once I had to do that, I just knew things weren’t the same anymore.

Instead of causing arguments or acting like a dick, I actually tried speaking to each of them properly and asked what was going on and if I’d done something wrong because nobody would actually tell me anything straight.

What hurt the most is they all started going out with someone who has literally put hands on my fiancée before, which genuinely shocked me because I could never imagine doing that to one of my "mates".

One of them apologised recently (last week) and admitted things were handled badly, but it still doesn’t really change how shit the whole situation felt.

I think the hardest part is how fast everything changed. One minute you’ve got people to talk to every day and the next your phone just goes silent and you start questioning yourself constantly wondering if you were the problem the whole time.

I know people will say “just make new friends” but it’s not that easy when you’ve known people for years and genuinely cared about them.

I am just here to really vent and to try get some help as Its all ive really thought about for so long.

Just wondering if anyone else has went through losing all their friends at once because even after over a year I still don’t fully know how to process it.

I’m officially done with a friendship that’s lasted over a decade. I’ve unfriended and removed her from everything before, but she always finds a way back in — texting me from other people’s accounts to “apologize,” or reaching out to my family members asking about me. 

It’s gotten to the point where I have daily anxiety because I never know if she’s going to lash out or make a judgmental comment. It’s completely unprovoked. She’ll have a bad day and then say things specifically to bring me down to her level. She’s perpetually in crisis and expects me to have the perfect advice every time. If my response isn’t exactly what she wants to hear, she resorts to name-calling — “dumb,” “weird,” telling me I “don’t understand anything” like I’m a child.

She demands immediate replies. If I don’t respond within a minute, she’ll blow up my phone. She brings up my personal life out of nowhere just to criticize it. I’m constantly self-editing before I speak because anything can trigger an hours-long argument.

I’ve addressed this with her multiple times. I’ve told her that if she dislikes or resents me, we don’t have to talk. But she insists on staying in my life while simultaneously tearing me down. She’ll message me random criticisms about me because she’s angry then act like I should just accept it because “that’s how she is.” She frames it like I’m overreacting, when really it’s constant emotional dumping and projection.

I’m exhausted. It’s emotionally draining to feel like I’m walking on eggshells 24/7. For anyone who’s had to go no-contact with a long-term, enmeshed friend: how did you actually make it stick when they refuse to respect boundaries?

my best friend moved abroad a year ago for a job. she was always notoriously bad at texting and hated phone calls (had bad phone anxiety) but since we were in the same city it was ok- we just hung out in person.

before she left i told her i was nervous we would never speak cause of her texting habits and she assured me she would try calling and stay on top of it. the first 2 weeks we called once and then it went radio silent until she came home at the holidays. she said she got overwhelmed with everyone trying to get ahold of her to catchup and just went ghost on everyone. I said i understand but that it did hurt my feelings to reach out with no response, especially since im not asking for anything crazy - just a call every few weeks or a text here and there.

i told her that i wouldn’t text her first anymore because it was hurting my feelings to be left on delivered, but anytime she wants to call or text i am ready to go.

she then got into a habit where she’d text me something like “hey how was the first week at your new job”, i would answer immediately and then… no response. rinse and repeat once a month. i think we called maybe 3 times the last 6 months and that was at my persistent hounding as we needed to plan a trip for our friends bachelorette. I know it not just me, all of our mutual friends have barely heard from her.

i’m just at a loss… how hard is it to send a text? is it not rude to ask someone how they are and then not even bother reading the response? especially someone you consider a “best friend”. Do I even bother bringing this up again or just let this become someone i only wish happy birthday to? I’m so sad because I love her so much but i don’t know how to be okay with a friend who puts in what feels like 0 effort?