u/Longjumping_Movie_91

TL;DR: My friend discussed our disagreement with our mutual friends before ever addressing it with me, and now I feel uncomfortable around the whole friend group.

A friend and I recently had a misunderstanding. We still haven’t talked about it directly, but I found out she brought it up to our mutual friends first. One of them even asked me questions that made it obvious she’d already heard about the situation.

What bothers me isn’t that she confided in someone—people vent to friends all the time. It’s that she never came to me first or even tried to hear my side before involving people we both know.

Now I feel awkward around the group because I don’t know what they’ve been told, and it feels like everyone knows about our issue except me.

Am I being unreasonable for thinking she should’ve talked to me before discussing it with mutual friends? Or is this just a normal way people handle conflict?

I (26F) met up with a friend thinking it would just be the two of us, but when I got there she had invited another friend without telling me beforehand. I didn’t know him, and as an introvert, I was already uncomfortable.
Throughout the night, she’d leave me with him while she talked to other people. He didn’t really include me in the conversation either, so I mostly sat there awkwardly not knowing what to say. Later she went to chat with a table of pilots, and again I felt left out.
I eventually left because I felt out of place. Afterward, she called and apologized, saying she didn’t want me to feel that way and wished I’d talked to her first.
Now I feel guilty because she seemed sincere, but at the same time I didn’t know the plans involved hanging out with someone I didn’t know, and I spent most of the night feeling like an outsider.
**Was I wrong for leaving, or was my reaction understandable?**

**TL;DR:** I met up with a friend expecting a one-on-one hangout, but she had invited someone I didn’t know without telling me. She kept leaving me with him (and he didn’t really include me in the conversation), then spent time talking to another group while I felt like an outsider. I left because I felt out of place. She later apologized and said she didn’t mean to make me feel that way. Was I wrong for leaving?

I (26F) met up with a friend thinking it would just be the two of us, but when I got there she had invited another friend without telling me beforehand. I didn’t know him, and as an introvert, I was already uncomfortable.
Throughout the night, she’d leave me with him while she talked to other people. He didn’t really include me in the conversation either, so I mostly sat there awkwardly not knowing what to say. Later she went to chat with a table of pilots, and again I felt left out.
I eventually left because I felt out of place. Afterward, she called and apologized, saying she didn’t want me to feel that way and wished I’d talked to her first.
Now I feel guilty because she seemed sincere, but at the same time I didn’t know the plans involved hanging out with someone I didn’t know, and I spent most of the night feeling like an outsider.
Was I wrong for leaving, or was my reaction understandable?

TL;DR: I met up with a friend expecting a one-on-one hangout, but she had invited someone I didn’t know without telling me. She kept leaving me with him (and he didn’t really include me in the conversation), then spent time talking to another group while I felt like an outsider. I left because I felt out of place. She later apologized and said she didn’t mean to make me feel that way. Was I wrong for leaving?

just curious as to why some wags are more liked than others and why some wags are more hated.