r/AmiInTheWrong

It all started when he told me about a movie he wants to see. I didn't think much of it until I saw the trailer of the movie he wants to watch. Long story short, the movie focuses on the cleft community, it was more on the discriminatory side rather than awareness. Things got a little too tense​​ when I told him that it was not okay to support that ​movie, and during the talk, he got super offended by the way I was talking to him. He said that it seemed like I didn't love him from the way that I was talking to him. I'm thinking that he's acting pretty immature, when all I did was to educate him.

Hi, last year I met this girl ( I'll call her V) at my job I was working at during the that time. Im (19M) and she was (19F). It started as casual conversations during work and turned into her flirting with me like touching my shoulder when talking to me or giving me free food etc. For context, we used to work at a restaurant. We shortly after expressed our feelings for each other and started talking from there. A couple months pass and we are doing great! Going out on dates, she met my parents, I met hers, and we enjoyed spending time together. As the weeks and months went on, I started seeing her red flags and turns offs. She spent the night for the first time about 4 months in and we were baking cinnamon rolls.

As they were in the oven, I ended up falling asleep in my bed since that day we had been out all day, she came into my room saying if I didn't get up, she was going to leave. Shortly after that, I woke up and she was about to walk off the door. I stopped her and we continued as normal. I thought It was weird but put a blind eye to it since it was our first night together. After that, it went down hill, I'm very family oriented and she would constantly call her mom a bitch and when her mom would call her or text her, she would never let me read or listen to conversation. Which i didn't mind cause thats her business but it would be weird that she kept that part private even though I had met her parents before. Another tough part would be that she didnt like any of my hobbies. I would mention that I liked to play pool or play darts, and she agreed to play them with me. She acted like she hated being there or that she wasn't even interested in playing the game.

My last straw was when I told her that I think we should take a couple weeks to get our lifes straightened up and be apart since I was still going to school and she had a bunch of stuff going on in her life as well. Both of our schedules didnt line up with each other's since we worked different schedules most of the time and my college was strict on deadlines. She reacted as I thought and we fought for a couple hours but ended up agreeing with each other at the end. The same week, her mom calls me asking if I had heard from V and I said no. She had me on life 360 so I looked and told her mom the last known location since her phone had died and been missing for 9 hours. Long story short, she was at another mans house hooking up and was drinking. She hated me for telling her mom where she was. She could of been kidnapped and if I didnt help, I would of felt terrible.

Fast forward to last week, we had been no contact for 5 months and she was enjoying life with her new bf which I later found out was hooking up with her while we were together. She called me asking to go to target with her since she had no one to go to. I was hesitant but figured this would be a good time to let her express her anger at me or we could work things out where we dont have to speak but we have finally come to peace. She told me to drive 45 minutes away to a target even though I was already 5 minutes away from our original target meeting place. I was agitated but did it anyway. As I pull up, i see MY friend walk out of target and get in V car. Thats why she changed the location. I was basically a 3rd wheel to their friendship, and they thought it would be funny for me to walk with them and be uncomfortable. I was in the car with them. I told them to drop me off at my car since they wanted to go to the beach at 1130 at night. I got in my car and went home. I blocked both of them because I dont need friends like that in my life. Her mom would always text her to be home at a certain time and she never was home by that time. She once told me she didnt have a curfew as she was at my house till 3am but later found out her mom wanted her home at 11. AITAH? She also lied about having a miscarriage

EDIT:She invited me to target with me not knowing that my friend who had became friends with her was going to be there. She gave me the impression that it was just gonna be us. As we drove around, I sat in the back seat just not talking because it was so awkward and she kept making comments about me like I wasn't even in the back seat.

I woke up this morning and saw my girlfriend making my sandwich for lunch to take to work,. When I was going to the kitchen she picked up a tomato from the floor which wasn’t clean and was fixing to added to my sandwich but she didn’t since she saw that I had seeing her about to do it. Then she said “ I would have done it if you didn’t see me. Since you always eat everything I give you.”

How can I tell her that what she doing ain’t right. Cuz I don’t know if she been doing this shit before and I felt like I was being disrespected.

Hi! So i, 19F, have been dating my boyfriend, 21M, for a little over a year. Recently we have been doing long distance since i started school in a different country (we are from Netherlands, im studying in Denmark). Ever since then, weve been trying to spend time together playing games. Ive always been a yapper and he always said thats the one thing he likes about me but ever since we started doing these calls, hes been less and less focusing on what im saying. I always try to keep him in loop but he started just sounding uninterested. I get that playing a game and listening at the same time is hard - thats why i always talk only when we are both dead or when we are in the loading screen. Now lets go to the issue itself - always when i talk, he either starts listening to tiktok, singing, playing his piano or just straight up ignores me. Its been going on like this for a while and ive found myself just getting more and more quiet, which is simply not me and its starting to really annoy me. On our last call, i was talking to him and in the start he was reacting and everything but then he just started singing. When i went "alright never mind" he told me to just shut up and stop being dramatic + that he wasnt listening to what i said for the last minute anyway. I obviously got hurt and just went quiet and didnt really talk until we went to sleep. Towards the end he started saying how quiet i am and that i usually talk more so i was honest and told him that hes been very vocal about not caring and listening anyways so i didnt see the point in talking. He started getting mad, saying that im being dramatic and that hes been normal. We ended up in a fight and havent talked since. I dont want to be the one apologising since i ALWAYS apologised first no matter what but i really feel like i have a right to be hurt by this. I also want to add that he has NEVER been like this in real life - he was always supportive, listened or told me he is not in the mood beforehand and i respected it. He also had been normal in messages, its just the calls that seems to be the issue.
So AITAH for being mad and not apologising?

Hi there, for some context my gf (27) and I (26) have been together a year and a half. (wlw).
From the start, my boundaries were clear that I do not want porn in the relationship as I feel it’s damaging to a relationship and have been hurt with it in the past. She understood. I always found her a bit secretive with what she does online, but I trusted her. about a year ago, i brought up someone she follows ( from before we were together ) as they posted alot of suggestive stuff and she has an OF account, she said to me
“ Oh she’s someone I seen a picture of before years ago and I liked her vibe, she has the weirder animals “ such as tarantulas etc, and then was like to me “ oh are you jealous of her? awhhhh all jealous my baby “ and all, making it out i was insecure and jealous for absolutely nothing basically. She says she unfollow her but she never does, I moved past and forgot it because i was like well i trust her and i understood the liking the vibe as it is my gfs kinda thing. Last night then, I mentioned her again just as I noticed she still followed this person as I was searching for someone else that I know with a similar name but that persons page suggested to me, reminding me. She then blurts out , obviously forgetting what she had said before , “ oh yeah she’s from porn from yearrrrssss ago “ , i was like ???? that’s not what you told me ????? She even tried to flip it on me saying I remembered wrong, mixing that situation up with my ex..
I was super upset, not even about the following her still but the ease she had lying to me when i first asked about her, and she said that was because she didn’t want to upset me.. I was like no, you protected yourself in that instance, lied about why you followed her, continued to then follow her knowing you lied to me about it.
it’s made me question alot of things now because we have had weird situations. When we first started our relationship, she still had tinder a month into it, i accidentally seen that when she showed me something on her phone. I asked her to click into it and she was on someone’s profile, on the pictures. She said she was on tinder because an old friend was on it and they had chatted and she forgot to delete, but i was like ok, why on some random girls profile then? There was no texts from the month we were together but i still find that super weird. I also find that she can exaggerate things or add to stories, so now i just don’t trust her at all. I have been extremely hurt in my past, relationship wise, romantic & familial, so i find trusting super hard and feel i create a space that’s open to hearing someone’s truth in the moment but if they lie, then that’s it’s done. Am i overreacting?

My girlfriend comes to visit for a few days every week while we’re on summer from college.

My parents set some rules for us such as not sleeping together, being in my bed together, and anything that falls in that realm. I personally think it’s ridiculous. My dad’s main concern is pregnancy but his rules only prevent us from sleeping or showering together, since not having sex in their house isn’t really preventable by them and comes down to trust.

Well we made the fatal mistake of showering together when we thought they were at work and they heard us talking in the shower.

They’re pissed and called me disrespectful, which i guess is true because i did break their rule. I still can’t help but feel like it’s ridiculous to be so intrusive into my life as an adult though.

When i tried to reason with them and apologize they just repeated that i constantly disobey them and disappoint them (They like to bring up my piercings). They expect me to have adult responsibilities but can’t fathom that I want adult freedoms.

I feel like i should also bring up that when other adults stay in our house like my aunt and uncle or their friends, they’re allowed to shower together and sleep together.

I just feel like their rules are unfair. Any thoughts?

A little bit of context. First post here too sorry if it’s not up to standard like everyone else’s is. I had this friend, I’ll give him the name Tony. Me and Tony are the same age. He was exactly like a brother to me. But a big thing is, it was not reciprocated. He was fake.

This all starts two years ago… I meet him in my English class. We talk and get to know each other and 2 months into the school year we are having sleepovers and hangouts. I have no problem, life is good. In December of that year I got together with my girlfriend, we ended up breaking up a month later(we got back together 2 times after this), I told him about her. I told him everything. I made the fatal mistake of letting them talk together. They used corny nicknames like pookie and other cringe stuff. But I let it happen thinking it was friendship, I did it all the time with Tony so maybe it was normal. It wasn’t… she starts to ignore me for him and 2 weeks later I make it clear and she tells me our spark ran out and she stopped loving me and developed a crush for Toby. It hurt unlike a pain I have ever felt. Two weeks later he’s with her… he had told her 3 main things that made her break up with me. 1, I showed her nudes to him, 2 I had a roster, 3 I was actively talking to other girls. Which none of them were true, I didn’t even have her nudes. That whole summer was a wreck, they get together and after two weeks of venting to Toby he gets fed up and says to me “(my name) you need to get over her. Just get better already and stop venting to me. It’s annoying, just get over it already…”. I stop talking to him and on the first day of school next year we exchange our schedules and find we have lunch together. He still is dating her, we find a table by ourselves, he could’ve sat with another friend group but chose to sit with me because I would have not had anyone to sit with. Then a couple days later I change into his math class because of a problem with the level. We have amazing times together, after a month we move to the infamous table in the lunch room. Everyone’s always loud and we make noise. We make infinite memories. Me and Tony walk home all the time, we sleepover all of the time. I hated being home because ever since the year prior I had problems with my mom but that’s for another story, and I had met his family 3 times at this point and his mom loved me and said I was apart of the family. Then comes the end of the year. My ex, now girlfriend… breaks up with him because he treated her like shit. He ignored her for weeks on end because she would make him slightly mad. He ignored her for Rust, he ignored me for Rust. He had 3k hours on the damn game and wouldn’t get off and lost his girl. I was there for him, truely. Then we go on a beach trip. The first day was amazing then the rest were shit. He chaffed his legs on pourpose so he had a reason to stay in the house and play games. I told him I’d buy him aloe so we can keep going out but would refuse even though I bought him a bug bottle. His mom wouldn’t let me walk at night and go on the beach at night without him so I was stuck inside trying to convince him. He was a slob, only when forced to get up he got up. Never kept anything organized and of course smelled like shit. Then because of me pestering him the whole trip about not walking at night. He ignored me for the whole summer, then I go back to my ex. I genuinely wanted to know how she was then she started to develop a crush, 1 month after talking to her again we got together and then she showed me damning evidence. He would celebrate to her when he didn’t have to sleepover when he was the one who made plans. Made fun of me and how I dressed(which wasn’t bad), made fun of my braces and hair and everything that made me, me… one day I confront him and I show him all the evidence. He doesn’t appologize, he told me it’s his ex’s fault and that she’s a bitch, a whore, and a slut. He said she was trying to break us apart. I call him and I drill him on why he did this and he blamed it on his problems in the past talking to friends from school over the summer, then tried to lie and say it was a loyalty test(they dated for 11 months), then tried to tell me they waited a month after we broke up to date her when he was making moves when we were dating! I get so fed up and tell him to get lost and I never want to see him again. He cries and begs me to stay his friend and I feel no remorse as I block him. My girlfriend now, I’ll give her a random name, Juanita. Juanita tells me that he had convinced her that i was a cheater and showed him her nudes. I gave her proof I didn’t and she apologized and I forgave her. Here’s why she believed what he said, at the time I kept getting my phone taken(she thought that was suspicious because I wouldn’t talk to her obviously and then I’d talk to her when my phone was back. I apologized and explained it with evidence that it wasn’t my fault. My mom has had it out for me and she’s seen how bad it gets). She realizes Tony is wrong and apologizes even to this day about how wrong she was. We have been dating 9 months and I love her, we met up 2 times, we met online. Am I in the wrong? I just need closure, I can’t seem to figure it out myself…

So, I (23F) have 2 new guy friends and I've been hanging out with them pretty frequently. I've been taking my friend (23F) with me because I don't like showing up places alone. I've started developing a small crush on one of the guy friends and I've been talking to that same friend about it for advice.

Anyways, this past weekend I had a work thing so I spent my Sunday out and about. I asked her what she ended up doing on Sunday since we didn't hang out and she said she watched the sunset and TV.

Then on Monday, she texted me to tell me she hung out with my crush but it was friendly and she didn't want to lie to me but she felt bad. Now, I'm not speaking to her for the moment and distracting myself with work. I'm having a feeling she's male-centered and loving the attention, but I feel betrayed and backstabbed. Am I in the position to feel upset with her or am I overreacting? I don't know what to reply back with, any advice on that would be great too.

We were in the mall, me and my 5yo. We were in the food court and she was playing at the little playground they had. Then a group of boys with the youngest being around 14 and the oldest (i’m guessing) being around 17. came over, most of them were chill but a 15 yo kept pushing my kid and he seemed to enjoy it.

I quickly saw this and brought her away from them (it was time for her to eat anyway) AND HE FOLLOWED. He grabbed our food and threw it on the ground and stepped on it

Usually I would just leave, but something felt wrong, he enjoyed every part of this. Smiling and laughing at us. When I tried to reason with him his eyes were cold and had no emotion.

I’m just really shook and scared for my daughter as I have no idea why this happened and the motive

F (37) of M partner (35). I was a virgin due to being very religious most of my life. I was still holding onto the idea of waiting for PIV sex until marriage when we first met/ started dating. He knew this off the bat and said he was okay with it. Of course we fooled around in other ways. I continued to remind him (not in the heat of the moment) what my sexual boundaries were just to keep it clear.

One time he asked if he could rub his penis on the outside. I told him I’d prefer if he had a condom on to do that just to be safe. Which he did. Of course - he slipped his penis inside of me pretty quickly after that.

— given my transparency about my boundaries and sexual history (limited) I very much expected I was consenting only to outside play and not full intercourse.

I did address this with him — but it took me quite a while to process what that encounter meant for me and how express my feelings about it. It was very difficult for him to hear too.
I was definitely upset and expected him to ask for consent to have intercourse instead of an ambiguous “rub”.

Anyway — this is the history of how we started sleeping together.

I’ve been feeling some ambivalence in the relationship- which I’ve communicated. But we’ve still been seeing each other and sleeping together. Last time I saw him, he asked me if he could “rub it on the outside” againnnn. I have to say I hate that damn phrase.

Just be honest about your intention.

I clarified with him, in the moment this time if he was asking for sex without a condom, which was a yes.

I’m not on birth control for other reasons and I’d already told him we need to be extra careful because I am in my fertile window atm.

Honestly-I felt really disrespected that he would even attempt or request unprotected sex with me, A) using that language and knowing our history and the impact it had on the relationship B) since I’ve consistently expressed a very clear wish to avoid an unplanned pregnancy, am not on birth control (he is aware) and informed him we needed to be extra careful that weekend due to being in my fertile window.

I told him condom always. Which he did do. So technically he asked and respected my boundary.

I just feel really unimpressed.

TW: mentions of SH and ED

This is a long one but PLEASE READ.

(for reference, I live in the United Kingdom and I am doing a gap year course before I go to university. So I am going to be saying college 1 (reffering to the college I am at now) and college 2 (reffering to the one I am going to In the coming September)

Hi everyone. I (18 F) have a 'friend' (17 F) who I go to College  with. I say friend bc she is the kind of person to make you feel so incredibly small. 

For context, we are both in our final year of Musical Theatre College, and today I found out that she has got a place at the college I was going to. Now normally that wouldn't be a problem. The college we are going to (college 2), I have been working with for the last 2 years and have become quite popular by doing their summer camps. Teachers and students know me and actually LOVE ME,  which is quite a change as due to my AuADHD and just general quirkyness, have been bullied out of 3 different schools by normal boring ppl. 

I was lucky enough to earn a scholarship to a Musical theatre  sixth form (college 1) and was honestly having a ball, and getting ready to audition for universities. Now the 2nd year I was there, this girl joins who seems nice at first, if not a bit intimidating. But nonetheless I'm kind and nice, idc what someone looks or acts like, theres always a chance I'm missing something from a situation and given my past of being bullied, Id never want someone to feel the way I did. 

This girl seems sweet as when she joins but slowly I start to see more and more cracks in her persona. It all comes to a head when I'm having deep conversation with her about a mutual friend (who also goes to the college who Is horrible) and says she likes to grab ppl without their consent, so to watch out. 

(Just Incase anyone wants to come for me for saying this, this girl (20 F) who we are talking about, is a compulsive liar, has talked horrendously about me and everyone else in our college, has fat shamed, body shamed, is homophobic, transphobic and has also been trying to steel my bf of 2 years) 

The girl who I am talking to, intentionally or miss intentionally tells our teachers that I am accusing this other girl of Sexually Assaulting me and others. This baffles me, as even tho I said she is a bit too touchy, I never accused her of anything. So this whole thing happens at school and time goes on. The girl apologized to me, stating she feels terrible and she obviously got things wrong. I forgive her of course as it was just an accident but as a victim of SA and DV it does trigger me now when she's around. But again, she didn't mean it.

Time goes on, I thought we were on good terms. But over time her general demeanour becomes more and more bitchy and hostile. Every single conversation consists of "who TF asked you" and "don't care" and more and more hurtful things. Now as a neurodivergent queen, I just assume I'm misinterpreting things, as when I confront her, saying how it makes me really upset and uncomfortable how every time she speaks to me in front of others, it's an insult. She claims that's "just her humour and how she jokes with others" but I told her it is making me upset and she doesn't stop, plus she never does it with other ppl. Also, teachers have called her out for her bitchy behaviors and warned her that if she doesn't fix it there will be consequences. But I want the friends, so I'm nice, polite and offer to do her coursework for her when she's too tired as a like writing. (I've stopped becoming such a pushover since so dw) .

 But tbh it's not like there's anything about her body language that would tell me it's a joke. All signs point towards it being true. And considering no one in the school talks to me outside of it, invites me out. I know they're making fun of me behind my back and, from the bottom of my heart, I have done NOTHING to warrant it.

I know people on Reddit will always tell their stories in a way that makes them look better, but that's not what I'm doing since I want genuine advice. She makes fun of me every day and (in addition to my terrible audition season) has caused me to get diagnosed with severe depression and struggling with an eating disorder.

I feel so lonely, all the people I want to be my friends treat me like shit, leave me out, and make me the butt of the joke. The only person who has my back is my boyfriend who is at university in Cardiff and I'm really popular there as well, proving there's nothing wrong with me. I'm all smiles and kindness.

I've talked to the teachers about how she treats me makes me extremely uncomfortable too, and they've reassured me it's not my fault and she is just like that. They know she treats me like that and notices how sad it makes me but at the end of the day, it is such a small school and we are leaving in a matter of weeks that they genuinely can't do much except talk to her (they have, it's done nothing).

Today I find she has got a place at School 2, where I am a big fish in their pond. When I tried to dap her up in congratulations, she looked me up and down like I was pathetic and walked away. I played it off like a joke as per usual while everyone laughed at me. 'poor little Cece with no mates, who no one likes'. I want to ditch her as soon as possible, since I know I can. As soon as we get to School 2, I will be higher on the social food chain, (metaphorically ofc, ik the food chain is bs) I would have the power to make other people dislike her since they all know me (not that I would ofc bc that would be fire with fire) and I can finally feel free and accepted without this stereotypical mean girl dragging along behind me.

My problem is, I know she has been hurt too. I recognize a lot of herself in me. I notice how she HAS to be liked by EVERYONE. I notice how she she has scars on her arms. I notice how she always has to get a reaction, to be seen as fun so she doesn't have to be out casted like me. 

She bullies me because she sees who she was in me.

I want to ditch her as soon as I join my other friends at School 2, but I'm scared of what might happen to her. She's vulnerable, scared and damaged too. She's just a human. But she's hurting me every single day I see her. And she knows she is.

So Reddit, PLEASE TELL ME. 

AITAH

I, 33F, and my brother (who we'll call H), 36M, have been getting into arguments. My older brother (who we'll call S), 37M, and our parents are telling me to be the bigger person and to have calm discussions with H.

Some background. I have lived with my parents after graduating college. First due to finances, then to be with my grandma and helping her and my parents as she got old. I've recently had 2 back surgeries in the past 6 months and am finally starting to have the energy to get back to normal. That being said, there are still a lot of things I cannot do because my surgeon wants to be extra cautious after this surgery.

Now H has moved in because he couldn't find a job where he was and had quit his job 6 months prior. He's been with us since before Thanksgiving and started a job a couple weeks ago. While I was recovering from my second surgery, I wasn't allowed to bend, twist or do anything to aggravate my low back or lift more than 5lbs. I asked H to take care of the animals for the full 6 weeks. The animals were goats, sheep, geese and livestock dogs. He asked for $10/day since it took about half an hour morning and night. He asked me to make a list of the duties and never asked for me to show him how to do any of it.

4 weeks after my surgery, H starts making comments about how I don't help around the house, he's the one taking care of my animals and how lazy I am. At 4 weeks, I started working remotely because I knew I still needed a lot of breaks from sitting in a chair.

6 weeks after, I saw my surgeon and he still wanted me to take it easy. Don't overdue anything and be careful with twisting, lifting and squatting. Knowing this, I planned to talk with my family and see about me slowly taking my animals care back over. Then, the same day I saw my doctor, I came home and 3 of our dogs ran out the gate. I pulled up to our gate, saw no dogs, started opening the gate and got out to grab a package. While I was walking back to my car, I saw one dog run out. This is my dad's dog, who we don't let out front because he will always run out the gate to get a car ride. Whenever he does run out, you can only catch him by getting your car and he will jump in. If you try to grab him on foot, he will run away from you.

I went and parked, seeing a dog following me and not knowing the others ran out. Since I knew I had to go grab this dog with my car, I went to take the package inside first. While doing this, H is walking out the gate and yelling at me "What are you doing? Aren't you going to help me get the dogs you let out?" I told him I'd be right back, I was simply dropping these things off. His reply "Get your truck and come fucking help me with your dogs." I was not happy with the way he was talking to me and knowing he was being dumb going out the gate without a car to get the dog. I went out to the gate because I was going to leave him to get my dads dog. Both of the other dogs were at the gate by the time I got out there (they rarely go far and after about 5 mins want back in). H ends up calling me twice, which I declined because I couldn't handle him screaming profanities at me. He called mom and said I was being a bitch so I got in my truck and went to get the dog. H put the dog in the car and then walked back home without a word.

Later, he texts me "What you did was irresponsible". My reply "Yes. You having that dog out front knowing I would be coming home from work soon was irresponsible." His reply "How am I supposed to know when you come home. No one has ever told me what time you come home and you always come home at different time. Also, I was trying to get the dog back inside after he ran out the front door." I later told mom, if he had been nice about it, asking if I was going to help or if I knew the dogs ran out, I would have been a lot more willing to help him. The fact that he instantly starting with attitude, yelling and cussing at me, made me want nothing to do with him.

H gets upset the next day because I 'kicked the dog in the face'. I was coming home and opened the door with my hands full. Our dogs were in the way and I told them to back up. When one didn't, I put my foot in his face and pushed him back a little to make some room. I told H this, but then he yelled at me and mom that I'm abusing this dog by kicking them in the face.

That weekend I decided to take over caring for my animals since I could tell he wasn't going to calm down and I wouldn't able to be around him for long with his anger. While I'm doing morning chores, he comes out upset saying "So you're taking back over chores? Some communication would be nice." My reply, "Since you can't talk to me like I'm a human and without attitude, I don't want to communicate with someone like that." We essentially got into a giant argument, while I'm trying to finish chores. He hits the barn door off it's hinge, screaming that he asked me to pay him $5/day and that even at $10/day isn't minimum wage (we are in Texas where minimum wage is still $7.25/hr) and that it was only to take care of the goats, not the other animals or anything extra. Then he proceeded to call me obese and said that the reason I had to have surgeries is because I don't know how to take care of myself or listen to my doctors. (I have been dealing with nerve pain for 5 years, working with my PCP, pain management, physical therapists, chiropractor, acupuncturist to attempt to prevent it from getting worse until my disc herniated and the only option was surgery.)

This brings us to a couple days ago. We've continued to have issues with dogs running out the gate and H kept yelling at me to fix it. My dad had a conversation with me, asking what my plan was and I told him and he agreed to it. My dad and I started working with his dog and we've been having a lot less of the outside dogs running out now that he is no longer running out. We've been training him with a shock collar that has a shock, vibrate and sound option. Since we were having success, I bought 2 more to have for our outside dogs. When they came in, I adjusted them to the dogs and let them get accustomed to them for a couple days. One of the dogs runs away from you the second she thinks you're trying to grab her and the other has started to learn this behavior so I wanted them already on when I started training. Then H comes home one day and tossed the shock collar on me, saying "This is way too tight on him" and walks away. I went back out and double checked the collar, but it was exactly how it was supposed to be so I put it back on him. The next day, I go to train with them and notice neither has their collars on. When dad and H come home, dad tells me that H has their collars and that he is very upset about it and we need to have a conversation and he wants to be present during it. I agreed because I didn't feel safe around H.

The conversation went him claiming I'm abusing these dogs, shock collars are illegal in other countries and that he's going to call the cops if I continue to abuse the animals. I told him, they aren't his dogs, it's not his property and he's the one complaining that they are running out the gate and I haven't done anything about it. Then when I try to do something about it, he prevents me from doing it. Which I debated and did lots of research before ever buying a shock collar, which I got one that has a vibrate and shock. I tried for a long time to get my own dog to stop jumping with positive reinforcement or putting her away when she's bad. It wasn't until I got the collar, that she finally started to think before jumping on anyone. I don't enjoy using them and I have tried them on myself. I've also done tons of my own research and trying different training techniques on my personal dog and on our farm dogs. I still do tons of positive reinforcement, but sometimes with certain behaviors, you need that quick, jarring movement that is uncomfortable for them to think twice before doing again.

The day I had to spend dedicated time to train with them (I wanted a day when I wasn't working to start so that they had a basic understanding when I didn't have a day off) was now wasted because he assumed and stole my property. He also complained about the stalls in the barn and how they aren't cleaned out, which I told him that I did know, but I can't do anything about since I am recovering from surgery. I also don't have them locked in their stalls and they are out a lot. I then asked why he didn't clean them when he was taking care of them or why didn't he bring this up then. He said, he didn't know the law and that wasn't something I asked him to do. I ended up asking him to give me the collars back since I paid for them and they are my property. He would not give them back to me until I said I would use them properly and if he saw me abusing them again, that he would throw them away. While this is going on, our parents are getting in the middle while he's yelling at me, then yelling at me, then storming off to his room and banging on doors. It took him 5 mins to even find the collars to give them back to me.

Our older brother, S, then is texting me yesterday, since he doesn't live with us. First, he tells me to ignore H. Then he starts asking lots of questions and telling me that you don't argue with H and you ask him lots of questions instead, that if I'm getting upset and can't stay calm and rational is my problem, that I'm using a lot of 'mental health lingo' and using it as a crutch and if I have tried to talk to H and give him some advice. That H and S talked during the holidays, H was receptive and willing to hear what S was saying. I asked, but has he done anything? S said, "no, but at least there's a desire and that's the first step."

Our mother understands that H digs into what he believes and whatever he believes, he believes 100% and won't listen to anyone else. She tells me that I need to have compassion for him and understand his side and he's simply doing what he thinks is best for these animals.

Am I wrong in feeling upset about someone accusing me of abusing animals? In feeling unsafe around a person because of their anger, but the family says 'he would never call the cops. He would never hit you.' I'm not saying how I've reacted to him is the best course of action I could have had, but am I wrong for being upset and frustrated with someone that will not budge from what they believe?

Side note: I am empathic and feed off others energy. When I feel anger, it causes my stress and anxiety to rise and causes my stomach to become nauseous. The best thing to do for myself is to remove myself from their presence.

i tried to kiss my friend and now i feel really bad about it and im very anxious and scared

after an event at school, we went back to a social lounge at my schools residence. she put her head on my shoulder for awhile and at first i didn't do anything but eventually i started reciprocating, by holding her hand rubbing her leg, laying on her etc and eventually we were full on cuddling for like 2hours. this was the first time i'd ever cuddled with a girl and this seemed very random and unexpected and i've never had a gf or anything so this made me really happy. but since it was my first time doing that it also made me pretty happy. at some point during the cuddle, since we seemed comfortable, i tried to kiss her, since the given context made it seem idk , appropiate? she basically said its too soon for that since we had only met a couple days prior. i didn't say anything but i laid back down and it was sort of embarassing. but she didn't seem angry or nothing afterwards and we never brought it up. unfortunately we stopped being friends shortly after and i thought it was because i tried to kiss her, but when she listed all the reasons, she didn't say it was cuz i tried to kiss her, it was because of a bunch of other stuff. not that it's really important to this story, but i feel like all the reasons she didn't want to be my friend anymore we're really insignificant and not really a big deal, but point is, she didn't want to stop being friends with me because i tried to kiss her.

is this like, a seriously messed up thing to do? and now im just scared i assaulted or harassed, or anything of the sort. am i over thinking? i have anxiety and ocd , especially because my ocd theme is s usually "what if i assaulted someone" and didn't realizeand tend to make mountains out of molehills and this isn't helping

For some background, my boyfriend and I are both 20. We met in our freshman year in a mutual class and shortly started dating. We've been dating for about a year and a half now. We both dormed our first year and would have a lot of sleepovers. He dropped out of college after our first year, and I continued to dorm for one more semester. We continued doing sleepovers during that time. My boyfriend and dad have met a few times and gotten to know each other a bit. My boyfriend at the moment is working two jobs and hasn't been able to go to many events that my family invites him to. I commute at the moment, which takes about an hour, maybe an hour and a half on heavy traffic days. I usually see my boyfriend 2-3 days out of the week when I go to my college since he lives really close to the campus, and I usually hang out with him after I'm done going to classes and going to my campus job. I also have a job working for this company that has me working with my aunt. It may sound a little confusing, but I don't want to give too much away in order to keep this as anonymous as I can. I pass by my college in order to get to my aunts house. She lives 30 miles away from my campus in the opposite direction from where I live. During no traffic, the drive to my college is 30 minutes, and my aunt's house is an hour away.

Ok, now into what happened today. My boyfriend and I were discussing going to the LA County fair this Saturday, and we were able to get free tickets from a friend of his who ended up not being able to go. I work on campus two days out of the week, and I work with my aunt one day out of the week. My aunt needed me to switch my working hours to a Thursday, which is a day I work on campus, so I decided it'd be a good idea to save gas and sleep over at her house on Thursday night. I'm switching my work hours on campus to Friday instead, and I figured since my boyfriend lives nearby, I can stay over that Friday, and we can go to the LA County fair on Saturday (since it's close by) and then go home later that day on Saturday. So basically drive the 60 miles to my aunt's to work, stay over at her house, leave Friday and work on campus, sleepover at my boyfriend's house that night, go to the fair on Saturday, and finally go home that same day.

I had my best friend, who's like an adopted daughter in the family, at my house playing a new card game we bought. My brother was also playing with us when my dad got home from running errands. This is how the conversation went. "Hey, Dad, I'm going to the fair with blank, and we were planning for me to spend the night on Friday". He proceeded to say that I didn't have his permission to go to a sleepover and that I should've had this conversation with him in private since my friend was over. I continued on and explained that I'm an adult and there are many things I don't think I need his permission for. We continued to go back and forth on this conversation for 20 minutes. My best friend and brother left the room halfway through the conversation. To summarize what my dad said during this conversation was that he thought that it was best I didn't sleep over because he hadn't yet met my boyfriend's mom, not knowing where they live, claiming he didn't know my boyfriend that well, and me still being his dependent and living under his roof. A lot more was said that is a little more personal that I won't be sharing, but he did mention that he appreciated I was honest and told him the plans and that he understood I'm a hard worker and isn't upset or mad at me for this conversation. He mentioned that he would've preferred my boyfriend to drive down here and ask him himself so that my dad can also finally have a conversation he's apparently been wanting to have with him. He left to the living as I tidied up my mess in the kitchen. I then made my way to my room, when he stopped me and told me again he thinks what he's saying is the right thing and that he's not upset or mad at me.

I went into my room and cried out of anger and frustration. I called my boyfriend and explained what happened. After hanging up, I also called my aunt to vent to her. She said she won't go against what her brother's rules are and that I should just put up with his rules, and if I don't like them, I should save up to move out. My best friend came into my room, and we proceeded to talk about what happened. She and her mom (she was outside on the phone talking to her mom about the situation) are on my side. My boyfriend messaged me asking if it would be ok for him to drive down so he can ask properly. I went out of my room and told my dad, and he proceeded to go to my room and ask to get him on the phone. I texted my boyfriend, telling him to be prepared and that my dad wanted to talk. I called, and the following is a summarization of the conversation that happened. He told my boyfriend his point of view and, at one point, explained that he wants me to follow my goals and not get sidetracked with any mistakes we might make together, such as getting pregnant. He explained how we should've gone about it a better way, and this situation doesn't mean there won't be future sleepovers or future potential opportunities. My boyfriend was agreeing with my dad, and eventually, my dad saw how irritated I was getting at the conversation and finally ended the call and left the room.

My friend and I talked about what happened, and I texted my boyfriend about his thoughts on the conversation. My boyfriend agreed with my dad to help ease the situation, but he is also on my side. I personally feel as though I should be able to sleep at my boyfriend's house and that some of the points my dad made were unjustified. I'm not 15 years old asking to sleep over at a guy's house, I'm an adult telling him, not asking, that I'm planning to sleep over at my boyfriend's house. I've told my dad where they live, and I've mentioned his mom a few times, so he knows a bit more than what he was telling me. I guess my dad wants to physically see the apartment and meet his mom, but I feel as though I'm too old for him to feel the need to do that. Of course, I understand he wants to meet my boyfriend's family, but it feels like he's being too protective. Thinking so much of the what ifs and what could go wrong, even though the area where my boyfriend lives is safe, and I've basically lived over there for a year and a half now. He's also visited a few times, and a family friend even attends there. Even if all his concerns were discredited and he did see the apartment and met my bf's mom the concerns would still be there regardless. I also thought it was so embarrassing that my dad was basically having the sex talk with my boyfriend and I at 20 years old. It's so unnecessary considering we've both experienced this talk individually with our own parents long ago, and have both taken sex ed, and I even took a human sex class my freshman year. So now I'm here to ask the internet's opinion on my situation. Am I the asshole here, is my dad the asshole, or is everyone the asshole?

Who is right? Me or my friend?

This happend 4 years ago and I also payed it back in that time.

It started started when I don't wanna grind the game I and just genuinely enjoy the game. From what I remember he keeps blaming everything on my after a lose a game like fr I'm just a punch bag for him and I decided to chat him to say I'm done with your stupid comments about me.

And he did NOT care at all.

After all of that argument, I forgave him FOR his mistakes and after that he started to treat like blaming stuff to me is normal and normally I would take it but here's one thing HE is very fond of sending random porn jokes and deleting it instantly and I would joke sometimes I would "leak it" and he doesn't believe me because he always thought of me as "weak no brain nobody" as to my bad skills in every game because I'm here to play that game to ENJOY and not be competitive like him.

Now I would stack up those screen shots of his lame porn jokes the would make a normal person disgusted if the see alteat one of them.

I decided it was the right time to send it, and I wanted to send it to a class gc like just us and like 10 of our other classmates no teacher NO supervision and I decided to send it there because I felt bad for sending it to a class gc with a teacher in it. I did send it and he got super pissed off at me but since I'm a good person I said it was just an experiment, you see in our school I was just like an honest kid just paired up with like a bad friend just bad luck, And after I said that was me but in an alt account they all believed it.

This all happend in 6th grade and I'm now in 11th grade.

Now tell me who was right in this situation?

I know how to judge myself and I think what I did is wrong but, I just wanna let you know your thoughts on this, I'm just asking for advice.

One of my (m33) gfs friends (f34) is a known Coke user and party girl and for the first time in our relationship my girlfriend went out and hung out with her, and my girlfriend slipped up, which I am not happy about, but we talked about it, and I told her that she needs to cut her off. Her friend responded by twisting it onto my girlfriend and calling me a loser and a square. She basically told my girlfriend that she should’ve just lied to me and not told me at all to save the drama. Then proceeded to invite my girlfriend out for drinks to destress to which my girlfriend denied and her friend told her when you wanna party you call me. And I’m the square? That shit pissed me off. My girl and I have been together for just over a year and everything has been great.

TL;DR my girlfriend, went out with a friend that she stopped hanging out with a long time ago to see if she can hang out without anything happening, but my girlfriend slipped up and her friend is calling me a square and a loser for being upset that she did some stuff and told her that she should have lied to me and not told me at all

Am I in the wrong for not letting my dad use my ps5?
Everyday my dad comes in and plays on my ps5 which erks me off because it feels like he does it to piss me off. Which it does. hes costed me close to £100 on controllers since hes so heavy handed with the controllers and hes on it for hours at a time I can ask or say I need to play with friends or something else and he continues to say "1 more round" or "just after this go" and its so annoying because i feel like its slowly affecting my relationship with my friends aswell not just annoying me. I've just refused him for the first time and hes saying he's going to go on holiday without me and "we can be mean to eachother". What may put me in the wrong is that it had just turned off and I wasnt using it so he probably thought it was free since I was busy doing something but he's had the chance to go on it all day.

I matched with this guy on hinge, we’re both in our late 20’s. He’s in my city for a few weeks for work, and we moved the conversation to Instagram. We seemed to click pretty well and made plans for a date this past Friday.

The day of the date is when things started to feel off. For context, we were talking about working out and leading lifestyles to be more fit. I told him I was excited I was finally seeing progress from a new approach I was taking with my meals. He then asks me if my “body comp has changed” since my last post. Weird thing to ask especially since you can’t even see my body in my last post. Not to mention there’s other recent full body pics on my profile and im generally petite and not by any means overweight; I just was trying to shed a few pounds and get more toned. I replied dryly and said it’s changed maybe a little and I have slimmed down since January.

That’s when he said that was hot and asked if he could see. I got a little defensive and he said his fault and saw no issues with a “little preview” so then I got really defensive and asked to elaborate what a “preview” meant. He backed off a little and meant he just wanted to see a photo of me and meant nothing by it. He apologized and did acknowledge it was making me uncomfortable. He then asked if I wanted to cancel our plans. I was still uncomfortable and politely cancelled. He responded politely and apologized again and we unfollowed each other.

I struggle with dating and tend to be a little guarded sometimes. I’ve been trying to work through it, but this just felt a little triggering and I also know it’s important to trust my gut. However, I still can’t shake this feeling that it wasn’t that big of a deal. Did I overreact? Just looking for unbiased feedback.