r/AmiInTheWrong

Hey guys, this is my first post here and I need your advice. I, 18 female, have two very close friends. Let's call them Friend A and Friend B (Also both 18 Female.)

In Early April of this year, me and Friend B were talking about Prom and we joked that we were going to go together. That ended up happening in late April (when our Prom was) because we had no dates, so we took each other platonically. Around the same time that I came up with the idea of taking Friend B, Friend A started talking to me about prom and how she wanted her other close friends to take her. I was so excited for her, and was totally rooting for her to go with her friends because that is what she told me she wanted to do.

Fast forward to prom, Friend B ended up not being the greatest date for multiple reasons. It overall wasn't a great experience going with her because I did a lot for her and she didn't really reciprocate that.

But as I drove Friend B home, she told me "I heard Friend A is really mad you didn't take her to prom, but don't tell her because you're not supposed to know." I was totally stunned and had no idea what to do. When I got home, the first thing I did was cry because I felt so terrible, and because I knew I would've had a much better experience with Friend A as my date to prom.

Fast Forward to now, Friend A is still really upset at me to the point that she won't look at me and is actively avoiding me. I have been trying to mend this friendship since the beginning of this school year, and nothing is working. I've tried to talk to her in person, but she keeps avoiding me. So, naturally, I ask her friends if she's upset with me or if anything is going on. They say they don't know, but I'm now finding out they're confused on why they're getting dragged into this situation, but the only reason I'm asking them is because she is completely avoiding me and clearly hates my guts.

I didn't want to fix this over text, but it was my only option. So, I texted her earlier today only for her to (allegedly) say "How unaware could she be?" in reference to me to our mutual friends. This whole situation has me totally confused and heartbroken, especially because I was under no impression that she wanted to go to Prom with me. Maybe it's because I'm autistic and can't pick up social cues (especially flirting or hints), and that's why it might've gone over my head?

Before I end this, I'm also not 100% sure it's completely the Prom thing that's making her upset. I might've done something else to hurt her feelings, but that's exactly why I texted her asking her if we're okay and if I did anything wrong. She isn't communicating her feelings to me and I don't know what she expects me to do, but I still love her and want to fix this.

But I'm really sad that she's upset with me and I don't know what to do. I miss my best friend. What do I do? Am I in the wrong?

EDIT: This isn't a space to hate on Friend A just by the way, because I don't know her side of the story. But thank you guys for reading until the end!

This is going to require a lot of background, so bear with me. Prior to this past July, my family had two dogs and a cat, and they were already struggling with the dogs because they refused to get our younger male neutered and he keeps marking whenever we’re out of the house. Despite this, my brother adopted a female puppy after finding her on the side of the road, claiming he would pay for all of her needs and make sure she got spayed and trained properly (especially since we learned after a DNA test that she is mostly german shepherd and belgian malinois). Spoiler alert, he hasn’t.

It’s been a few months, and he’s hardly around to help with her because he’s at college (we both are, since we’re twins). Our parents are too busy to train her and she’s recently gone into heat, while we still have an intact male in the house. I’m home because my college has a break this week and my patience is running thin. My parents are out of the house most of the day so watching the dogs becomes my problem, and I’ve already had my brother texting me saying that I better keep the dogs separate so that his dog doesn’t get pregnant.

Today, I texted him and told him to do something about his dog. He got pissed, refused to really acknowledge anything I said beyond saying he couldn’t afford to train her and then told me he’s not doing this. I feel like he should’ve never adopted her in the first place if he couldn’t afford to make sure she’s trained and properly cared for, but I’m certain he’s going to tell our mom about this and I really don’t want to get yelled at over just wanting someone to take care of the dogs properly. The puppy also has behavioral issues that nobody is trying to correct. She’s barely house trained, tears up anything she can get ahold of, and constantly tries to bite people. I know part of it is that she’s still young, but nobody is trying to train her to stop and I worry she’ll get someone hurt when she’s older and have to be put down.

I love this dog and I don’t want anything to happen to her, but the lack of any kind of training or anything with these dogs is making me hate coming home.

Am I in the wrong for telling my brother to just please do something about his dog?

EDIT: Realized I should probably add that I don’t have a car or much money so there’s not much I can do on my own to help the situation.

Hey Mark! I’ve been watching for some time now and wanted to get the sub’s opinion and maybe even yours if you come across. The friendships themselves are over, so the results don’t really matter. This is a sanity check because I feel crazy even though my other friends and therapist say I’m in the right.

About a month ago, my friend Robin (23F) was having a rough day and started having a mental breakdown over text. All events happened over text. Myself and our other friend Danelle (20F) were trying to talk her through it. Robin brought up smoking to help in this situation. That concerned me, so I tried to encourage a different coping mechanism, saying they could reach out to a mental health hotline or talk to a trusted person in their family. What I didn’t know at the time was that smoking weed helps with this mental health condition and that Robin was prescribed weed. Robin ended up snapping at me over my suggestion saying not to argue with them. Danelle just sat there and watched this happen.

Now Danelle has in the past just watched as other people insulted and verbally attacked me without doing anything or even sometimes making jokes like texting cough or whistling. She apologized for it earlier, but it happened again. I brought it up to her in dms and she insisted that it no one was being rude to me and it was my fault for not knowing weed can help with mental health conditions. I argued that it’s not my job to know what helps Robin with her mental health and that her having a mental breakdown wasn’t an excuse to attack me and that Danelle needs to stop just watching someone takes their aggression out on me. I understand Robin was having a breakdown. But in my eyes you’re responsible for you mental health. It’s not your fault you have it, but you are responsible for the things you say and do even when you’re struggling.

Danelle stopped responding to the messages two weeks ago. I asked Robin what was wrong because I was genuinely worried. Robin ended up chewing me out, calling me an uncaring friend for not knowing weed helps with their condition and told me to ask my therapist about narcissistic personality disorder because I was upset that they took their aggression out on me. I didn’t even finish reading their messages because I found it to be insanely disrespectful that they’re diagnosing me just for 1. trying to help them with the limited information I had 2. not knowing something about their illness and 3. not enjoying being yelled at for trying to help when they came to me and Danelle for support.

Again, the friendship is over no matter what. One friend won’t talk to me and is giving me the cold shoulder and the other is throwing insults and jumping to conclusion. But for peace of mind and to learn for the future, I want to know if I’m the asshole in this situation. Perhaps there really is something I’m missing here.

(Rather not reveal the mental health condition specifically for respect for personal privacy)

I (28M) live in a small condo complex. My neighbor "Edith" (80sF) lives alone. About a month ago, I noticed her struggling to wheel her trash bins to the curb on collection day. She uses a walker and it was clearly hard for her. I offered to do it for her. She seemed grateful and said "that would be lovely, dear."

I've done it every week since. Just wheel the bins out Monday night, bring them back Tuesday afternoon. Takes me two minutes. I never asked for anything in return.

Last Tuesday, I was bringing her bins back and she came to the door. She looked upset. She said "I never asked you to touch my bins." I was confused — she absolutely did. I said "I'm sorry, I thought I was helping. You asked me to a few weeks ago." She said "I don't remember that" and told me to stop.

I said okay, no problem, and went home.

Then yesterday, I got an email from the HOA. Edith filed a complaint saying I've been "repeatedly approaching her property" and "touching her belongings without permission." She said she feels "harassed and unsafe."

I was floored. I've never even been inside her house. I've never knocked on her door except that one time. I was just moving her trash bins.

Now I don't know what to do. Do I respond to the HOA and explain? Do I talk to Edith directly? Do I just stop and ignore the whole thing? I don't want this on my record, but I also don't want to make it worse.

What should I do here?

My brother(M 20) and I(NB 17) have a great relationship, we were always very close and we joke around often and enjoy each others company. After the pandemic I became a somewhat depressed and we grew apart a little, with that we began to disagree frequently and bcs of my anger issues we sometimes have minor fights. He finished school 2 years ago and had to enter a preparatory course for university entrance exams(like ENEM, an exam you have to do to qualify for public uni, in the country i live) bc he didnt pass the exam the year he left school, and studied for that year, and passed the exam at the start of this year. He start his classes at uni in the second semester so he's been doing basically nothing all this time after he knew he had passed uni, playing games, watching videos, playing on his guitar and sleeping and waking up late almost every day, and that pisses me off for some reason(I know I might be in the wrong for that). One day i saw him playing on his PC and jokingly called him a addict, and he got pissed and told me to scram, i understand, I don't like being called name but it was a joke, and he usually does not get pissed at things like that. This year i got a job at my grandmas/grandpas company(an ice cream company at a small town) they make good money so they were willing to put me to work at the cashier and that was one of the best experiences i could've have to improve my patience and how i deal with strangers. So i wanted to brag about it to my family and i did, but my brother got pissed once more, saying that he didnt have the obligation and he did what he wanted, but i just can't get around how he spends our parents money with the things he wants and does not want his own money to be independent and buy whatever he wants without asking our parents if he can buy this or that. I told my mom that it was strange for me seeing me work my ass off studying(i'm not saying he did not study, he is very dedicated to studies and helps me when i don't understand a subject) and still wanting to earn on vacation, and he just sits there doing nothing all day just because he got into uni, if i were him i would have started applying for jobs the day i found out i had passed and wouldn't start immediately. And my mom told me that i was being harsh and he had all the rights to rest, but she understood me. I think being LGBT+ gives me a more weighted perspective on independence, but i'm not sure. What do you think, am i the asshole in this situation? Not a big deal but just wanted to know if i was being annoying by acting this way.

Should I F23 be upset that my b fM24doesn’t want me at his birthday party?

So I’ve been with this guy for almost a year now. He’s very sweet and things have been serious. Now that his birthday’s coming up I ask him his plans and he says he doesn’t know. Couple weeks later he tells me his friends planned a party for him the weekend before his bday and they’d most likely be going out to different clubs. Cool. Sounds fun. But he never mentions inviting me. Eventually I just asked why I was never invited to be there. It’d be different if this was just a boys night thing but he has quite of few friends who are women so…I just assumed. I’d be going with…especially since I know his friends, Weve gone out and had game nights together.

He says it’s just because he’s gonna be drunk and he doesn’t want me to see him that fucked up. Also he says if I go he feels like he’s gonna have to be in ‘protecter mode’ and he doesn’t wanna have to worry about that…I explained to him that I get it to an extent but if I’m gonna be his partner, he should feel comfortable around me

Anyway I told him that it really hurts my feelings that he doesn’t want me there and he thinks I’m not allowing him to enjoy his day how he wants and that I’m trying to tell him what he should do.

He does want to spend his actual birthday being with me but I like going out to the club and having a good time too…I don’t and to be selfish or try to control him but I’m very hurt that he doesn’t want me there. Should I be offended or is this normal?

I (20F) and my dad (49M) got into a pretty bad argument last night because he tried to bring his friend into my house after that friend had previously made me uncomfortable.
For context, I moved in with my grandparents straight out of high school to care for them as their health declined. My grandfather passed away last February, and I now care for my grandmother, who has spinal and cervical stenosis and uses a power chair.
A couple of months ago, my dad brought his childhood friend, J (46M), over for dinner. I’ve known J my entire life. He took me camping, taught me archery, and was part of many childhood memories. My dad always had me call him “Uncle.”
After dinner, I went downstairs to fold laundry. J followed me into my bedroom and started making inappropriate comments. I had recently started dating my now-boyfriend of two years. J offered me drugs, told me I looked more mature and had grown up, and said that if things didn’t work out with my boyfriend, he’d always be there for me and could take me on a nice date.
I nodded until he left, then broke down crying. I told my dad what happened, and he was furious. He promised J would never be welcome around us again.
Fast-forward to last night. I asked my dad to bring his trailer over to remove old furniture from our porch. He told me he would do it tomorrow or the next day so my boyfriend could help because my boyfriend was at his second job, About an hour later, he called me outside to move my car, and I was shocked to see J walking through my yard. My dad explained that J was there to help move the furniture because he couldn’t do it alone.
I was upset and went downstairs to collect myself. After about ten minutes, I went to my grandmother’s room and explained how uncomfortable I was with J being in my home. She agreed with me.
My dad came inside and asked how I was doing. When my grandmother told him I was upset, he got loud and insisted J was the only person available to help. I asked how he could stand being around someone who had made inappropriate advances toward his daughter. He said I was a grown woman and should expect men to hit on me because I’m attractive.
I reminded him that J had been like an uncle to me my entire life. My dad then said I’d rather watch him die than let J help him because he has a hernia. I asked why I couldn’t help, but he called me too weak, even though I go to the gym five times a week.
He claimed he’d already choked J out, J had apologized, and I needed to get over it instead of repeatedly crying to him about the same thing. I got angry and said I couldn’t wait until I turned 21 so I could finish the job. I eventually backed down and went downstairs.
My dad then refused to help at all, telling my grandmother, “Sorry, Mom, I’m not doing it,” before leaving.
Later, my grandmother said J was the only person available to help and that I should understand my dad’s situation. My boyfriend, who lives with me and helps care for my grandmother, was furious and said he’d never let J touch me.
I’m at a loss. I understand my dad needs help, but I feel betrayed that he brought someone who made me feel unsafe into my home after promising he wouldn’t.
Am I overreacting, or am I the asshole for not understanding that my dad needs help

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I found out he messaged a goth OF girl on threads two months into our relationship and just said “boo”. (She didn’t reply) Then he admitted that he looks at girls suggested accounts on instagram out of “curiosity”. I told him if he wanted to fix things he’d have to delete both apps and he did. However, he has a group chat on instagram with his good friends that he doesn’t see often and I feel badly for taking that away from him as they don’t use texts. He’s great in every other way but I’m not sure if it’s better to just end things.

I am in my first year of a law program and the other day we had a beach volleyball tournment with all of the years. I left my phone, and wallet on my team's bench beside my shoes and sweatshirt and went out to play. When I came back my shoes and sweatshirt were there but my wallet and phone was gone. I didn't really think anyone stole it but I wanted to find it considering I had a significant amount of cash in my wallet. After finding my friend who has my find my iphone we tracked my phone down to a bag that was on the table beside where I initally left my stuff. We asked around to see whos bag it was, and someone told me that it was someone on my teams. Considering I know everyone on my team personally and we were using the sound feature on find my iphone to literally hear my phone in the bag I decided to open the bag and get my stuff back. Just as I opened it though a third year student and his friend approached me quite aggresively demanding why I was going through his bag. I explained that I thought my phone was in his bag which he quickly blew off. I asked if he could at least check, which the owner of the bag refused to do but luckily his friend did and pulled out my phone and wallet from his bag. The guy then made me take out my id and show him it was my wallet before continuing to harrass me for going through his stuff. I explained my side of the story to him which he seemed to not really care about. I appologized for going through his stuff and moved on, I didn't ask why he put my stuff in his bag and he didn't give me an explanation. I won't lie when I say I was a little rattled by the situtaiton especially being a new first year law student and having to deal with a third year student. I also play on a rec team with the friend of the guy and am worried that there will be some tension. What do people think?

my girlfriend (26F) and I (27F) have been dating for almost a year, she started to work at a restaurant 5 months ago.

4 months ago she told me that she felt like one of her coworkers was trying to flirt with her (he asked her to the movies) so she told him that she had a girlfriend and talked about me in general, she thought that he would back off after that but that made them closer. She noticed that after this information he was interested in us and ask her to tell him all about me, so she didn't felt this as a threat anymore and more like an opportunity to make a new friend now that she was sure that he wasn't trying anything.

After weeks he started to offer her rides to work (she would take a bus and then he would pick her up at the bus stop), which she accepted. I didn't have a problem with this at all, it sounded useful and even obvious if they were heading to the same direction. The problem started a month ago.

She trains basketball on Fridays (far away from her workplace) and he started to give her rides there after work, which started to not make a lot of sense for me because this was actually a big detour from where he lives. He started to picked her up and leave her even closer to home and has even offered to picked her up at her house (Which again is pretty far from where he lives)

My break point was yesterday when she came back with a new wallet, one that he bought for her, this is where I talked to her about how uncomfortable this situation has become for me.

I actually trust my girlfriend very much (I know it doesn't sound like it) I trust what she told me about him being just a friend and that he's become someone close because they work together and see each other every day, she told me that she can stop accepting the rides if that makes me feel better, but I know deep down that she wouldn't feel comfortable doing so because it is saving her so much money and right now she needs it.

I feel like an insecure loser and I know that she will keep creating relationships with new people and that people are going to care about her and do things for her in the future , so part of me tells me to shove it off. I only feel like it is escalating to a point where I don't feel comfortable. My girlfriend is very chill and is never insecure because she trusts me so I feel like an AH wanting to ask her to stop. I know if this was the other way around she wouldn't have a problem and she would even feel happy of me being able to save money by someone kindness.

I met a guy at my workplace on August, and we started talking. Over time, we became really close, and eventually, he proposed to me. I also developed feelings for him and agreed to be in a relationship with him.

He has told me that he is serious about me and has long-term plans for our relationship. He isn't looking for something casual or a time-pass relationship, which is something I really appreciate.

One day, he told me that if I ever had doubts about him, I could log into his Instagram account and check it whenever I wanted. He even registered my fingerprint on his phone so I could unlock it whenever I needed to. Initially, I wasn't sure about it, but eventually, I agreed. I've been logged into his Instagram for the past 2–3 days.

The reason I wanted access was that I have a lot of insecurities. I worry about whether he talks to other girls, what kind of relationships he has with them and whether he might develop feelings for someone else in the future. I know these thoughts might be coming from my own overthinking, but I can't seem to help it.

I even offered to give him access to my Instagram account, but he refused. He said that he trusts me and doesn't feel the need to check my account. He also seems to have very few expectations of me, whereas I have so many expectations of him. Sometimes, I feel like I expect him not to talk to other girls or even smile at them, and I know that might be unreasonable.

The thing is, he treats me really well, and sometimes it honestly feels too good to be true. A part of me keeps wondering whether he's genuinely serious about me or whether he might be playing with my feelings. I know it's still a relatively new relationship, and maybe I'm getting too emotionally attached too quickly.

Now I'm confused about whether I should stay logged into his Instagram or just log out. I don't want to invade his privacy or become someone who constantly checks her partner's messages. At the same time, I feel insecure and scared of getting hurt.

So, what would you do in my situation? Would you stay logged into his account since he willingly offered access, or would you log out and focus on building trust naturally? Am I overthinking this, or is it normal to feel this way in a new relationship?

I'd genuinely appreciate honest advice, especially from people who have been in similar situations.

I (21) was in a group chat with two people, one being my close friend. They sent to a group chat what was a Yumeshipping post of someone celebrating Francine Smith’s (a character from American Dad) birthday to the extremity of buying what seemed to be streamers, a possible body pillow or cut out of the character and a lot of made food and other decorations to celebrate it.

In response to this post I said that to me I find it personally weird as it seems parasocial and that it could lead to further extremities if unchecked like confusion from reality and fiction, obsession, anti socialism by replacing real life relationships with the fictional relationship and or possessiveness. Now of course I realise this whole shipping culture has a fandom and I’m not by any means a hater of it I just particularly find it odd, and when I said that to my friend it caused a drama which they said I started because they called my words of judgement an “attack” on Yumeshipping as this particular friend is themselves a Yumeshipper of themselves with a fictional character. They said they are inspired to be that level of Yumeshipping from the post, they’ve claimed that they’d like to build a shrine to a character which to me seemed bizarre and just confusing. Don’t get me wrong I absolutely love fictional characters, I read comics and other things but I’d say I draw the line at shipping myself with them because they simply don’t know I exist and it seems incredibly over the top for me.

After the back and fourth I said countless times that if it isn’t hurting anyone than I believe it is okay but I still don’t personally like the idea of it simply because it’s not what I’m in to but I did claim I think shrines and birthday celebrations with food, streamers etc are simply too far. They then went as far as to say to me “it’s the same as people saying gay people is unhealthy or un-natural.” Which to me was a big blow as I grew up in a household where I had to keep myself being bisexual a quite topic as I would get judged for it by my fathers ex partner.

Since all of it I have written a formal apology, in short I wrote that I am sorry if I hurt you but I won’t stop what I think as it’s just my personal opinion but it doesn’t mean I necessarily hate it as opposed to just not liking it. It’s almost been 3 days of them leaving me on delivered but they’ll text the group chat they’re in with my partner in it and they’ll view my social media stories. All in all they claimed I was attacking people for something that’s helping them mentally and I explicitly stated I’m not implying any attack, I just don’t think it’s always healthy, I had to reiterate it multiple times and they just didn’t seem to grasp what I was saying. They’re the only close friend I’ve had in the last year and I fear being compared to a homophobe could be the cherry on top to the end of a friendship which is unfortunate because I barely socialise. TL;DR: I told my friend I think Yumeshipping is weird due to thinking it can become unhealthy, but I apologised regardless and said we’ve argued over worse stuff which they’ve disregarded me for but they compared me to a homophone and still won’t answer me.

I (20F) am currently 12 weeks pregnant with my first child. My husband and I are absolutely over the moon, especially because getting to this point has been incredibly difficult.
I have had 7 natural miscarriages, all very early in pregnancy. After my last miscarriage, I was told by doctors that I might never be able to have children. I also had a cyst rupture on one of my ovaries, which unfortunately left that ovary nonviable. I was told that I had a limited amount of time to have children, but I couldn’t afford to freeze my eggs.
Because of all of this, my husband and I decided we would try for a baby sooner rather than later. I also had a hormonal IUD placed because I had been told I wasn’t likely to have children anyway.
Well… somehow, I got pregnant with the IUD still in place.
It was honestly hard to believe.
Because of my history of miscarriages, I was terrified to tell anyone. I didn’t even tell my parents right away because I was afraid I’d announce the pregnancy and then lose the baby again. I wanted to wait until doctors could tell me that everything looked healthy and that the pregnancy was actually progressing normally.
I joined a few pregnancy/motherhood groups because I had no idea what a normal pregnancy was supposed to feel like.
My mom apparently belonged to one of these groups.
She found out I was pregnant through the group and, because she was angry that I hadn’t personally told her, she went around telling other members of our family that I was pregnant.
I didn’t know she had done this.
Today, I finally got the news we’d been waiting for: the pregnancy is progressing well, the baby is healthy, and everything looks good. My husband and I were so incredibly happy. After being told for years that I might never have children, this was one of the happiest moments of our lives.
So today, I finally told my mom that I was pregnant.
Her response was essentially, “I already knew.”
She then told me that she had already told family members because she was upset that I hadn’t told her first.
I was devastated.
I told her that I was hurt because she took away the opportunity for me and my husband to tell our own family that we were expecting our first baby. There are also certain family members that I specifically don’t have a relationship with and did not want knowing yet.
Her response was that she had a right to talk to her support system and that these people “don’t spread her business or anyone else’s.”
But that’s not really the point.
I feel like my pregnancy was my news to share.
If she had been worried or hurt that I hadn’t told her, she could have contacted me directly and asked me what was going on. I’m autistic, and she knows that direct communication works best for me. I absolutely hate being put in the middle of family members telling me things that should have been communicated directly.
I also feel like this is part of a much bigger problem between us.
My mom and I have never had a particularly healthy relationship. Growing up, she allowed my dad to physically hurt me, and she has also physically and emotionally abused me herself. She has been very unstable throughout my life.
When I had my first miscarriage, she literally told me:
“Great, you killed my first grandbaby.”
And:
“You can’t even keep a baby alive.”
So I don’t think it’s unreasonable that she wasn’t the first person I wanted to tell.
The first person I told was my husband, followed by my best friend.
I’m also planning a very small and intimate gender reveal with the people who are actually part of my support system. I told my mom about it, but explained that she wouldn’t be invited because I don’t consider her part of my close support system.
She became angry about this too.
She told me that I need to tell her the baby’s gender before my best friend because she’s my mother and it’s the mother’s job to be the “gender keeper.”
I don’t understand where that expectation is coming from. My husband and I want to share this information when we’re comfortable doing so.
She is also already telling me that after I give birth, I need to stay at her house because she doesn’t want my husband taking care of me because she thinks he’s incompetent.
I don’t want that.
I want my husband, my mother-in-law, and my best friend around me because those are the people who make me feel safe and comfortable. I don’t want my mother in the room when I give birth, and honestly, I don’t even want her in the same building.
I’ve also become worried about whether she could try to pursue grandparents’ rights or something similar, although I don’t know if that’s even something I should realistically be concerned about.
I have apologized to her for not telling her about the pregnancy sooner. I’ve apologized for hurting her feelings. But she hasn’t given me what I would consider a genuine apology for telling our family about my pregnancy without my permission. Every apology comes with an explanation about why she supposedly wasn’t wrong.
I even told her:
“Mom, if I found out you were pregnant from someone other than you and then went around telling our entire family before you had the opportunity to tell them yourself, you would be much more upset than I am right now.”
She disagrees.
I feel like she has never really respected my boundaries, and this pregnancy has made everything significantly more stressful.
So, AIITW for being angry with my mom for telling people about my pregnancy before I was ready, refusing to give her special access to my baby’s gender, and not wanting her involved in my birth or postpartum care?
I genuinely don’t know if I’m overreacting or if these are reasonable boundaries to have.

I , 15m , have been dating a girl called Gracie , 15f , for like a day and a half. Brand new relationship. I have a twin sister called Holly , 15f , who is my worst enemy/bestfriend. (love my sister but we drive each other insane most days.

Ok so , yesterday , I had a school hurling match. Only two of my mates are on the school team with me. I play mid field , though that doesn’t really matter in the story. My year and first year and second year (this is an Irish school btw) , were watching the match. When I was playing , one of my teammates hit the sliotar across the pitch to me but I was turned around , facing the coach , the sliotar hit me right in the back of the neck , right below my helmet. A sliotar is like a rock hard small ball. It hurt like hell and I had a massive headache after it. I’m kinda embarrassed by this but I cried a small bit because it obviously was super painful. Anyways , I was taken off the pitch and got an icepack. I walked to where my friends who weren’t apart of the match and my sister and her friends. Gracie was a good few metres away. At that point I was still crying a little so Holly hugged me and I hugged her back.

When the match ended , everyone went back to class but I went home early because my neck was killing me. When I got home , I studied a bit and took a nap because I love naps , fuck you if you think naps are stupid. Anyways , I woke up to a message from Gracie , saying “Are you ok ?” Which was nice of her so I replied back with “Yeah , I’m fine”. Straight away she typed back “It was kinda weird how you went to your sister and not me when you were hurt“. I was lowk surprised by this because me and Gracie were still in the awkward phase of dating. I replied back with “Well , it’s cuz she’s my sister , I was hurt and it made more sense to go to her than you since we haven’t really talked anything abt emotions“. She left me on read , so now I‘m wondering how bad I fucked up. AITA ?

UPDATE : So I didn’t break up with Gracie , it was only one disagreement and i really like her. There’s another problem though and this time it’s probably my fault.
Every Friday , me and my friends go into town and hang out. Most teenagers in our town do. Most of the time , my friend group meets up with my sisters friend group , there’s 8 of us guys and 7 girls. We get on well because obviously we‘re all out of the “only be friends with the same gender“ phase. Gracie is not in Holly’s friend group , she usually hangs out with her friends from a different school. Tbh I‘m not a big fan of Gracie’s friends , they‘re very pick me-ish. Gracie asked me to hang out with her and her friends. I think I’d die from cringing and boredom if I hung out with them for more than an hour. Gracie’s friends are so unfunny it’s sad , like they try to hard especially when my friend ,Éanna (pronounced ay-nah) , is around. Éanna is a super sweet , funny dude. He‘s my best friend. He looks like a model. Gracie’s friends laugh way too hard at his jokes and are always fawning over him , it’s embarrassing. Éanna is gay but he’s closeted. Anyways , I asked Gracie if she and her friends wanted to join us instead so all of our friends can meet. She shut down that idea fast saying that she didn’t get on well with Amy , my sister bff . So I said that there will be more than 20 of us if her friends come so she wouldn’t have to talk to Amy. She didn’t like that idea as well so I gave up and decided I‘d be honest. I told her that I wasn’t really comfortable with her friends because of some of the homophobic jokes they’ve said. She got defensive quick and asked why does it matter if it doesn’t affect me. I got a little quiet after that , thinking of Éanna , and i think i was quiet for to long so she got weirdly affended and asked me if I was Bi. It took me a while to answer because I’m not sure yet , I’m only 15 and I’m not ready to put a label on my sexuality like that. Instead of just telling her that , like an idiot I said “why does it matter ?” in a tone that was to snappy and rude. I guess I just thought she was being homophobic for a second. She was clearly upset by my tone and got up and left. I’ll call her later to apologise but right now I’ll give time. I know I shouldn‘t have spoken to her like that. Am I Completely in the wrong ?I , 15m , have been dating a girl called Gracie , 15f , for like a day and a half. Brand new relationship. I have a twin sister called Holly , 15f , who is my worst enemy/bestfriend. (love my sister but we drive each other insane most days.

Ok so , yesterday , I had a school hurling match. Only two of my mates are on the school team with me. I play mid field , though that doesn’t really matter in the story. My year and first year and second year (this is an Irish school btw) , were watching the match. When I was playing , one of my teammates hit the sliotar across the pitch to me but I was turned around , facing the coach , the sliotar hit me right in the back of the neck , right below my helmet. A sliotar is like a rock hard small ball. It hurt like hell and I had a massive headache after it. I’m kinda embarrassed by this but I cried a small bit because it obviously was super painful. Anyways , I was taken off the pitch and got an icepack. I walked to where my friends who weren’t apart of the match and my sister and her friends. Gracie was a good few metres away. At that point I was still crying a little so Holly hugged me and I hugged her back.

When the match ended , everyone went back to class but I went home early because my neck was killing me. When I got home , I studied a bit and took a nap because I love naps , fuck you if you think naps are stupid. Anyways , I woke up to a message from Gracie , saying “Are you ok ?” Which was nice of her so I replied back with “Yeah , I’m fine”. Straight away she typed back “It was kinda weird how you went to your sister and not me when you were hurt“. I was lowk surprised by this because me and Gracie were still in the awkward phase of dating. I replied back with “Well , it’s cuz she’s my sister , I was hurt and it made more sense to go to her than you since we haven’t really talked anything abt emotions“. She left me on read , so now I‘m wondering how bad I fucked up. AITA ?

UPDATE : So I didn’t break up with Gracie , it was only one disagreement and i really like her. There’s another problem though and this time it’s probably my fault.
Every Friday , me and my friends go into town and hang out. Most teenagers in our town do. Most of the time , my friend group meets up with my sisters friend group , there’s 8 of us guys and 7 girls. We get on well because obviously we‘re all out of the “only be friends with the same gender“ phase. Gracie is not in Holly’s friend group , she usually hangs out with her friends from a different school. Tbh I‘m not a big fan of Gracie’s friends , they‘re very pick me-ish. Gracie asked me to hang out with her and her friends. I think I’d die from cringing and boredom if I hung out with them for more than an hour. Gracie’s friends are so unfunny it’s sad , like they try to hard especially when my friend ,Éanna (pronounced ay-nah) , is around. Éanna is a super sweet , funny dude. He‘s my best friend. He looks like a model. Gracie’s friends laugh way too hard at his jokes and are always fawning over him , it’s embarrassing. Éanna is gay but he’s closeted. Anyways , I asked Gracie if she and her friends wanted to join us instead so all of our friends can meet. She shut down that idea fast saying that she didn’t get on well with Amy , my sister bff . So I said that there will be more than 20 of us if her friends come so she wouldn’t have to talk to Amy. She didn’t like that idea as well so I gave up and decided I‘d be honest. I told her that I wasn’t really comfortable with her friends because of some of the homophobic jokes they’ve said. She got defensive quick and asked why does it matter if it doesn’t affect me. I got a little quiet after that , thinking of Éanna and how if her friends made the homophobic jokes again , he’d be hurt , and i think i was quiet for to long so she got weirdly affended and asked me if I was Bi. It took me a while to answer because I’m not sure yet , I’m only 15 and I’m not ready to put a label on my sexuality like that. Instead of just telling her that , like an idiot I said “why does it matter ?” in a tone that was to snappy and rude. I guess I just thought she was being homophobic for a second. She was clearly upset by my tone and got up and left. I’ll call her later to apologise but right now I’ll give time. I know I shouldn‘t have spoken to her like that. Am I Completely in the wrong ?

recently me and my ex broke up. It was a pretty smooth break up at first but then it got bad we had a hard time not talking to each other. I was already pretty checked out of the relationship before me broke up so talking to him didn’t really affect me as much as it did him i told him we have to stop talking because it would be better for both of us a couple weeks went by and he texted me that he wanted to talk we called for a little bit and he basically said he wanted to start over i took this as strictly friends but i think he meant see what happened but i don’t really see him romantically anymore so then i had to go i thought the conversation was over but he asked if i can call him back when i was done i ended up being too tired and told him i would call him the next day on my 2 hour drive. on the drive i ended up listening to a podcast and a lot of music and didn’t end up calling him and i also forgot to text him. for the next couple days i was either super busy or super tired and calling or texting him honestly slipped my mind. 6 days past and i texted him apologizing for not calling him or saying anything. i understand why he would be sad and that i didn’t handle it the best way and that was ultimately insensitive of me but i feel like he is making it seem worse than it was. i guess i just wanted to ask if i was a terrible person for doing something like that?
also on top of all that when we were broken up he got mad at me for not inviting him to stuff because we share a friend group. personally i feel like it should be his friends responsibility and not his ex because not having to worry about him is why i broke up with him to begin with.

I (32M) live in a quiet suburb. My neighbor "Carol" (60sF) has a golden retriever, Max. We've only had small talk over three years.

Two weeks ago, she fell and broke her hip. She was hospitalized for a week. I noticed Max barking alone in the backyard, so I texted her and offered to help. She asked if I could walk him in the evenings. I said of course.

I walked Max every evening for five days. Side gate, leash, around the block, refill water. No issues.

When Carol came home, I went over to return the spare key. She opened the door and said coldly, "I know what you were doing. Don't come back here." She said her Ring camera showed me "lingering" and that I was "probably casing the place" or "trying to take Max." I told her I was just walking her dog, like she asked. She said "that's what they all say" and shut the door.

Yesterday, another neighbor asked if I'd "tried to steal Carol's dog." Apparently she's been telling the whole block I was "snooping around" while she was hospitalized.

I was just trying to help. I took nothing. Now the neighborhood looks at me like I'm a criminal. Do I confront her? Ignore it? Talk to other neighbors? I don't want this to become a thing, but I also don't want people thinking I'm a thief.

What should I do here?