I'm Not Worth a Google Reminder - Friends Who Make Little to No Effort
Hi Everyone - Today's been kind of rough, its my 31st birthday and I have spent it alone for the most part, with the exception of a quick lunch with my sister. Other sister was too busy and uncle had a late night. Mom died from Covid and dad is estranged because he couldn't stop making Covid Jokes.
My Friends who I have known for some time, some being for as long as 26 years only remember if I really go and make an event where there is free food, drinks, and gifts. Me and my friends are big magic players and for each of their birthdays I threw them a friend magic tournament party of 10 people with a set they wanted to try, a special gift, and got them dinner.
This year i was feeling kind of alone and asked everyone if they were free to hang out either in-person or virtually. Everyone was too busy - life happens, decide to write it off and take a depression nap.
Wake up and two of them are hanging out online, I jump on to join the conversation. Quickly, they say I really wouldn't get value out of their conversation since its two of them talking about a genre of music they like. I confronted them about it, said it was my birthday and I appreciated all their consideration.
They then sent a quick, "Sorry Man" text. I told them to have a good night.
Wasn't looking for admiration, wasn't looking for gifts, just wanted a little effort to be put in in asking how my day was going. Not even special recognition for my birthday, just to be asked how i was doing. Couldn't do that.
They just got back from electric forest so they all spent a considerable amount of time together, but I couldn't get a phone call or a text.
Usually when we do outings, I front the cost because most of them can't afford to do stuff. Not that they don't have funds, its the funds that they do have go to drugs, concerts, and emergencies.
We play DnD and last year I paid for 7 of us to take a trip up to the creators house of dungeons and dragons because it was a bucket list item. Only 2 of 7 contributed something to offset the costs.
I usually spend the holidays alone since my mom passed away and they know that.
Only really have two or three friends who checked in today, my best friend and two college buddies - so i know to be grateful for that, and I let them know how much I was. Roommate, who's my cousin, told me happy birthday, so I guess I'll count that as a win. He had to cancel our breakfast plans though because he was busy.
Sorry. End Rant.